


Compositae

by goldenwingsgirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - BDSM, BDSM, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Castiel and Jimmy Novak are Twins (Supernatural), DCJ - Relationship - Freeform, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Depression, Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester, Dom/sub relationship, Domestic Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, Gentle Dom Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, Kink Exploration, Light Angst, Living Together, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, No Sexual/Romantic Relationship Between Cas And Jimmy, No Twincest, Other, Overly Protective Sam Winchester, POV Alternating, Panic Attacks, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Polyamory, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Some Mild Violence (not between main Characters), Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Jimmy Novak (Supernatural), mentions/descriptions of past abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:48:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 192,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27755641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenwingsgirl/pseuds/goldenwingsgirl
Summary: Castiel Novak met the love of his life at a Christmas party one lucky December night and could never imagine being without him again. Dean Winchester was everything; charming, loving, beautiful inside and out, loyal, and honest. He was the best that ever happened to Castiel and he would make sure that no one dared take Dean away from him. There was just one problem: his brother Jimmy had the same feelings for Dean and they couldn’t possibly split him in half...
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Jimmy Novak/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Jimmy Novak/Dean Winchester
Comments: 12
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. To get this one out of the way first:  
> Castiel and Jimmy are twins but do **not** have a sexual or romantic relationship in this story. 
> 
> 2\. This is an explicit D/S story, there will be at least one major Sex-or BDSM scene in each chapter and I don’t want to spoil the entire story by tagging it all, so please read the notes at the end of every chapter for explicit content warnings. 
> 
> 3\. This story is finished and will be posted once a week. I’ll try to keep it on wednesdays and hope you enjoy this little smutty fic <3
> 
> 4\. Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or its characters.
> 
> Go visit my tumblr [@goldenwingsgirl](http://goldenwingsgirl.tumblr.com/)

>   
>  **Compositae:**
> 
>   1. : _Asteraceae_ or _Compositae_ ,  
>  a very large and widespread family of flowering plants (also known as daisies), which symbolize innocence, loyal love, purity, simplicity and beauty unknown by the possessor.
>   2. _Com•pos•i•tae \kəmˈpäzəˌtē, käm-, -tī\  
>  _Latin for “combined.”
> 


Sam was just done preparing setting up the spare room for his brother when he heard the unmistakable screech of the beloved car coming to a halt in the parking lot, its – as Dean would call it – beautiful purr dying as the engine was killed. There was no need to take a look out of the window to confirm who it was because, if the car on itself wasn’t enough of a hint already, it would definitely have been the way gravel scrunched underneath big boots belonging to its driver. Dean has always had this heavy gait and long strides Sam would recognize among a million and he secretly smiled at himself. How it was possible to walk like that but make it seem effortless and graceful at the same time would always be a mystery to Sam. There was just a sense of ease in the way he moved.

Before Sam had the time to ponder this any longer, the doorbell rang and he hurried towards it. When he opened the door, Sam was met with a bright smile that he just now realized he’d missed to see in a while and next came the crushing hug in which he was enveloped just ahead of the greeting he had planned to say.

They parted after a moment and Dean said, “Hey man, long time, no see. Did you miss me?”

Sam closed the door after his brother entered the apartment and chuckled at Dean’s antics. He had already lost his jacket and kicked off his boots by the time Sam turned around and answered, “Missed this?” He pointed at the scattered clothes on the floor with an amused head-shake. “Right. Of course.” Dean caught the false annoyance in his look and smiled cockily, looking about the room he was standing in as if he’d never seen it before. “So, how’ve you been? Anything new happen during the days we didn’t call?”

“Nah, same old. You know me. Life’s boring and uneventful as always.” He didn’t turn back around to face Sam, just walked towards the kitchen and asked, a bit louder this time, “Where’s Jess, by the way?”

Following, Sam said, “She has some stuff to do, after that, she’ll be doing some grocery shopping for Christmas Eve and tonight. She said she wanted to prepare something for your arrival.” He tapped the countertop of the kitchen island as he watched his brother sifting through the fridge, hands landing on the beer Sam had stowed there.

“May I?” Dean didn’t turn around again, just turned his head slightly to talk to Sam above his shoulder. After Sam made an approving sound and Dean fixed himself a beer, he quickly turned around to slide one towards Sam as well, then closed the fridge and stayed like that. Sam was wondering why his brother had the sudden urge to hide himself and it worried him a bit, but he tried to give him some space and opened the beer bottle to take a swig. He usually didn’t drink this early in the day and he thought to remember that Dean didn’t either, anymore. He must have been wrong.

“You don’t have to make dinner for me, Sam. I think Jess has better things to do than fix me some meal.”

“She wants to do it and even knew you wouldn’t like it very much, so she asked me to tell you to shut up and take it because you’re our guest now but you don’t have a say in this one.” He took another sip of his refreshing beer and smiled proudly at her. She got better at handling Dean with time. Somehow that reminded him of Ellen and Jo who always knew how to approach his thick-head of a brother. He took yet another swig.

Chuckling, Dean placed down his beer and said, “I gotta admit, Jess is a force. She can really frighten me sometimes, so I won’t start a fight about this, but at least back me up when I want to help. I feel useless otherwise.”

Sam barked out a laugh at that and nodded. “Sure. But you know you’re no–” He forgot all about his sentence when Dean finally took a step towards him and Sam got a close look at his face for the first time, except when they had hugged. But Sam had been too occupied returning the embrace of his brother he hadn’t seen since his birthday in May to notice the fading but still prominent bruising around his left eye and the cut above his eyebrow. It was yellow-brownish and if they’d been further apart from one another, Sam would have probably not seen it, but the cut was still an angry red and it practically screamed at him.

He was in Dean’s personal space within a second, framing his brother’s face with his big hands and turning it slightly so he could see. Dean, of course, flinched back and withdrew from his touch, taking another swig of his beer to hide his guilty expression. “What happened?”

“No need to worry Sammy, it’s nothing.” He shrugged it off as if it were nothing.

“Bull.” Sam took a step forward again. “That doesn’t look like nothing to me.” It truly didn’t, because now, he didn’t just see the bruise, but also how pale Dean was and that he looked tired – in dire need of some rest.

“It’s what, almost two weeks ago? I dunno. Got in a fight is all, Sam. You don’t need to mother hen me.”

Sam liked to disagree with that but clenched his teeth to keep himself from doing so. “You know I don’t believe a word you’re saying, Dean.”

“And you know I don’t care.” He took his bottle and left the room, Sam following him into the living room with a stern face. Before he could start to express his worry, though, Dean turned to face him and let out a sigh. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m extremely happy to be here, I’ve missed you. And I’m grateful that you’re having me here, but I’m really tired – didn’t get much sleep the last, what, 27 hours? You okay if I just take a nap?”

“Yeah, sure.” Clearing his throat once, Sam repeated, “Yeah.” He took both their beers into his hand and gestured to the spare room with his free one. “It’s all set up, towels and stuff are on the dresser. If you wanna freshen up, switch from tub to shower… you know the drill.”

“Great. Thanks.” Nodding, Dean gave him an appreciative, small smile and turned to leave towards his room. Sam went into the kitchen to put his half-finished beer back into the fridge and throw away Dean’s empty one.

It was about two and a half hours later when Dean came out of his room and strayed down the hallway into the bathroom half asleep with a towel clutched in his hand. He hummed contently to himself and Sam looked up from his laptop where it was placed on his legs and smiled faintly. He had missed this. The door closed and not long after that, Sam could make out the sound of running water, so he went back to typing away on the keypad and finishing his essay.

The shower took exactly twenty minutes and when Dean came back out, wearing old sweats and his worn-out Zeppelin shirt, he looked more relaxed and a barely-there smile graced his lips. His hair was dripping and leaving wet spots on his shoulders as he tried to rub it dry with the towel in his hand.

With a grin, Sam teased, “Taking long showers now? Always knew you held secret concerts in there.”

Dean snorted and tossed the towel into his room, closed the space between them, and threw himself onto the couch behind Sam, saying, “I only do that if you’re not listening. My godly voice is far too precious for your ears. But I do like to take some alone time in the shower… if you know what I mean.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Ew, gross, Dean! As your brother, I really don’t wanna hear what you do in _my_ shower.” Dean started laughing and his body’s movement brought the whole couch to jerk with it. Sam’s laptop almost lost balance, but he secured it on his thighs and smacked his brother into his head for it, which just made him laugh harder. Now Sam couldn’t hide his own amusement and turned his body as much as possible without tossing his laptop and looked at Dean. His brother was laying on his stomach, legs stretched out behind him, and had shoved a cushion underneath his head – one arm was underneath, the other one rested half above, so that his hand was resting loosely in front of his face. Its wrist was covered with a black leather band with a small silver ring at the front – Sam had yet to find out its meaning. The position made Dean’s tee ruck up so that his lower back was bared and Sam felt a wave of nausea as he stared at the red, thin lashes littering it. The skin didn’t look broken, but the lines were still visible and it made him want to punch whoever hurt Dean like this.

It wasn’t the first time he saw his brother like that. Back when they still lived together, Sam caught glimpses of slight bruises or marks on Dean’s body whenever he accidentally walked in on him in the bathroom or his clothes didn’t hide them. Sure, he had his suspicions, but he never really got them confirmed, so he stopped thinking about it too much. Dean never seemed to be seriously hurt, at least it didn’t limit his ability to move properly, though sometimes his posture was stiffer than other times.

“What’re ya doing anyway?” Dean asked, sleepily, and it brought Sam back to reality. He looked up at Dean’s face, which was almost completely buried in the cushion – his eyes closed as if ready to sleep again.

Sam sighed and turned back towards his laptop, the screen had gone black due to no activity on it, and tapped on the keypad. “Writing an essay about a case we discussed during classes.” Dean made a sound of displeasure and angled his leg to make himself more comfortable. With an amused smile, Sam assured, “It’s actually not that bad. The case was very interesting if not complicated. Where there are more thrilling and exciting cases, which are typically the famous ones, it isn’t the worst.”

“Dude, it’s Christmas holidays, stop being a nerd for once.”

“I have to send it in until New Year’s Eve. So I’m finishing it now. I wanna be able to enjoy the holidays.” Dean just hummed, so Sam kept talking. “Besides, I like to finish tasks like these as soon as possible so that I have enough time to still change it should I have more ideas or want to go about it entirely different. And I still have enough time to read it over before sending it in.”

Opening his eyes, Dean complained, “What kind of a monster even gives kids assignments during holidays? That’s just cruel.”

“He’s actually pretty nice. It’s the first time he gave us one that overlaps with holidays.”

“No excuse!” Dean grunted and went silent again after that. Sam used this as his opportunity to finish the last sentence and save the draft – he’d come back to it after Christmas Eve to read it over. After that, he closed his laptop with a soft click and put it onto the coffee table with a content sigh, propping both his arms up on the sofa behind him. One of his hands rested at Dean’s elbow, the other next to his brother’s hip. Sam’s lower back touched Dean’s side, his hipbone poking into his rear. It was suddenly so quiet in the room, that Sam could hear noises of the outside world through the open spare room window, which were accompanied by Dean’s slow and steady breathing.

It made Sam feel at peace somehow. It wasn’t much different from the sunny mornings he would wake up next to Jess and play with her hair – that always made him feel at peace as well. Of course, this had nothing to do with romantic feelings but the fact that they were both family; in a different kind of sense. Jessica was the love of his life and he wanted to share the rest of his life with her, build a family. And Dean was his family, the only one he ever knew. He wanted him in his life as his brother just as much as he wanted Jess in his life as his partner. In a way, Sam saw him as his brother, best friend, and father-figure at once.

Sam remembered a time where he had had to be more than just a brother to Dean and he suddenly felt a rush of emotions as these pictures came flooding back. He swallowed them down as they threatened to close his throat and blinked a few times to get rid of the moisture in his eyes. _I will not go there._

To assure himself that everything was just fine, Sam turned to look at Dean’s resting frame and face, where his eyes were closed, and let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His brother looked in shape. He wasn’t too thin, which was good, and his cheeks weren’t hollow and sunken. Even if he was a bit pale, it wasn’t ashen and lifeless. Dean seemed healthy and as long as his ribs didn’t show, Sam didn’t have a reason to be worried. Sure, Dean wasn’t burly, neither was he skinny. He had gained some weight again, which Sam thought was great, and he was back to being broad and muscled just enough to look sturdy and fit. It’s the healthiest he’s ever seen him.

_At least physically._

The two of them remained like that until they heard keys rustling behind the door, followed by a “hello?” from Jessica. Sam left his spot and crossed the room to give her a hug and a greeting kiss. “Hey.”

She returned his smile with a bright one herself. “Hi.” When Sam saw the grocery bags in her hands, he took them from her and walked into the kitchen.

A loud groan caught Jessica’s attention then and she hung her coat over the rack next to the door before turning around and watching as Dean got into an upright position on the couch. His back was facing her as he stretched his arms out above his head with a slight _pop_. When he finally stood and turned around, he had a big smile plastered on his lips and his eyes were still drooping with what was left of sleep weighing them down. She tried to ignore his black eye and the gash above his eyebrow and instead returned his smile. “Dean.”

Extending his arms, Dean greeted, “Hey!” They hugged shortly, then parted again. “So, keeping my brother sane after all this time still? I gotta say, you’re awesome. Thanks for that… and having me here.”

“I think we keep each other sane. And, of course. Though, I’m not an official tenant until next year. I’ll move in with Sam in two weeks. So you’ll have to thank your brother.”

“Already did.” He went back to the sofa and sat down, Jessica followed. “How d’you manage to live with him anyway? I mean, there’s this rabbit food all the time and the bathroom is stuffed with all those fancy hair-products…” Dean rolled his eyes at her and Jessica laughed. He could pretend all he wanted, but she knew how much Dean loved his brother.

As if on cue, Sam joined them in the living room and brushed his hair back in a deprecating gesture, saying, “My hair is sacred.”

Dean snorted and Jessica laughed. “True, he has more beauty products than I do.”

“It never bothered you before!” Sam complained.

“I didn’t say it bothered me. It’s just hilarious.”

Raising an eyebrow accusingly, Sam said, “Don’t believe a word he’s saying. You know, he’s chaotic and you’ll find old pairs of socks everywhere at his place.” Dean snickered, which caught Sam’s attention, who pointed a finger at him and continued, “You gotta laugh. You have a whole drawer dedicated to auto care products and talk to Baby as if she were a living thing!” 

Dean’s expression turned into one of betrayal and shock and he covered his mouth with his hand, shaking his head in disbelief. “She’s delicate Sam!”

Jessica merely shook her head at the brothers and laughed in amusement. Somehow, she had missed this. Those two were just one of a kind and while they were both a case of childish grownups and extreme teases, they loved and cared for each other very deeply and it always filled Jessica with joy at being able to observe them in their natural habit.

After Sam placed down next to Jess on the sofa, Dean leaned forward and asked, “Just so I know, when’s this party of yours again?”

“It’s our firm’s Christmas party, and it’s tomorrow. 8 pm.” Sam answered after a beat and asked, “You did bring a suit, didn’t you?”

Dean scoffed, “Well, yeah. Dunno if it’s still fitting, but I did bring one. Last time I wore it, what, was at your first year here?”

“If not, we’ll just buy you a new one. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy,” Jessica assured with a smile.

“‘Kay.”

They spent the rest of the time talking and started preparing dinner after a while. Dean was happy to be able to help and it turned out to be a delicious casserole. Afterward, he insisted that he clean the dishes and Jessica helped him dry them off while Sam searched some streaming platforms for a good movie. He ended up choosing a thriller that they watched while sharing a bowl of popcorn and Dean felt more at home here than he ever had at his place in Lawrence. It felt domestic and somehow he had missed this. Dean barely spent any time at his place and when he did, the silence threatened to deafen him. Sometimes it felt so oppressive, that he had to leave.

Dean would go out for a drink most of the night and if he was lucky, he would go home with someone else. Two to three times a week, he would spend at _Smite’s_ , a club where he met up with Michael. And when he wasn’t at work, out drinking, or with Michael, it got lonely pretty fast. 

He hated it. He hated having so much time with himself because then Dean would be alone with his thoughts and they would have the chance to eat at him as they always did. He would have enough time to listen to the voice say that this was what he deserved, that he was a terrible person, and that he was doomed to be alone because no one would ever stand to be around him longer than absolutely necessary.

Dean felt bad that he spent the holidays with Sam and Jess, somehow he was convinced that his presence was more of a burden than anything else. He didn’t want to kill the jovial mood. But because he was a little selfish, he tried not to think about it too much and enjoyed the company.

When he went to bed after they called it a night, Dean felt better than he had in a long time and he was out surprisingly fast.

The next day, they ended up having to go shopping for a suit that fitted Dean because, of course, he had grown out of it years ago. Eventually, the older Winchester opted for a suit with a white button-up shirt, black suit pants, a nice-fitting black waistcoat, and a dark green, Sacramento-colored, tie – which he was wearing now.

He was doing the buttons on his shirt cuffs when Jessica walked into the room and closed the door behind her. Dean’s hands caught her attention and her eyes were suddenly fixed on the wristband he was wearing. It was not the first time she noticed it and when she had gotten a better look at it last night, Jessica realized what it meant and had this sudden urge to talk about the situation with his face with him.

Clearing her throat, she took a step closer and met his eyes as he lifted his head a bit. “Wow, you clean up nicely… Ready?”

She was met with a shy smile. “Yeah. I think.” He let go of his cuff and straightened. Gesturing at his frame, Dean complained, “I feel ridiculous in that.”

“You look handsome. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d go home with someone else tonight.” Jessica cocked her head just slightly as she inspected Dean’s hair. It looked like it always did.

“What?” Dean’s cheeks heated up under the attention and it was surprisingly adorable.

Crossing the space between them, Jessica explained, “Your hair.” She ran her hands through the spiky strands of dark, sandy blonde hair.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“May I try something?” She brushed a strand of her curly hair back and looked at Dean expectantly, who just shrugged. “Wait here.” With a smile, Jessica hurried to the bathroom and grabbed her teasing comb, Sam’s pomade and then went into the kitchen to get a bowl with warm water. After that, she returned to the spare room and set down the items.

Dean looked at her questioningly, then at the items and back at her. “What’s with all that?”

“Ever had a side part?” Her answer was a head-shake. “Well, you’re getting one now. I think this’ll look great on you.” She started with dampening his hair a bit, using the water in the bowl, and then massaged some of the pomade into it. Next, she combed his hair neatly forward on the left side until clear lines were revealing his scalp. Dean was completely still as she started creating a slightly diagonal line, beginning just under the cowlick at the back of his head. She listened to his even breaths and concentrated on separating his hair along one line with the end of her comb to form the parting. When she was done with that, Jessica used the comb to brush his sides until she was satisfied with the outcome.

One last check before Jessica clapped her hands together, said, “Done!” and grabbed Dean’s shoulders to turn him around, so that he was facing the mirror of the wardrobe. “So… what do you think?”

Dean smiled shyly and turned his head slightly to be able to take a better look. “I look decent for once, thanks.”

“No problem.” She smacked her lips and took a look at herself. Then Jessica turned toward Dean and asked, “As long as Sam’s still busy styling his hair,” she barely held back a grin, “why don’t we have a talk?”

Dean’s expression changed into a suspicious one. “About what?”

Taking his hand in her own, Jessica led him to the bed and placed down on it. “Come on, sit down.”

“If you’re gonna ask for my brother’s hand, I gotta tell ya I’m a bit disappointed that you have to ask the big question and not he, but you still got my blessing.” He sat down next to her and Jessica bit her lip to stop herself from laughing, though it was good to know that Dean would be happy with her being his sister-in-law.

“No. No, it’s not about that, but thank you.” Carefully, she grasped his right hand and lifted it, staring at the wristband. “I know what this means.” It wasn’t at all meant to be accusatory but Dean lowered his head anyway. “Hey, it’s nothing bad, okay. I don’t judge you. It’s just that… Sam’s always been worried about certain bruises or wounds on you and now I can’t but think it has something to do with this.” She pointed at the band once more. Dean didn’t speak, so she tried to encourage him to say something to her. “Dean, being a Submissive doesn’t make you any less of a man, you know that, don’t you? I actually think it’s great.” At that, Dean’s head shot up and he gazed at her surprised. Then he just looked questioningly at her. “It’s true. With that band around your wrist, you’re showing everyone who you are; you bare yourself to them and allow yourself to be vulnerable and that shows me your strength. You don’t even try to hide who you are.” 

Even though a blush crept upon his cheeks, Dean met her eyes and said, “I don’t know…”

She took both his hands into hers now and smiled at him. “You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed. We accept you for who you are and I know that, if you’re gonna tell Sam, he’ll think so as well. Just, as your family, we’re worried about you. And I know how fast you can go down the wrong road if you aren’t careful enough in that society, especially if you choose the wrong Dom as a submissive.”

“He’s not that bad, actually,” Dean revealed in a quiet voice. “We’re even meeting at a club during the week so I’m in a safe environment and every private room has its own security. Mine is actually a good friend, so he knows when he should interfere...”

Jessica waited for him to continue, but nothing came, so she carefully prompted, “But?”

“I dunno, he likes to get a bit harsher than I agreed to. It’s nothing bad, really. He told me he was into impact play and I told him as long as it was still pleasurable for me, it was okay. But sometimes he crosses a line and leaves bruises and I hate that. Not because I’m against marking, I just don’t want them in the face and I’m not particularly happy about the fact that they are _his_ marks.” Dean averted his eyes as if ashamed at that and Jessica felt bad about that. She tried to soothe him by caressing his hand.

“I’m sorry about that, Dean. You deserve better than him. Have you ever tried looking for another partner?”

“Yeah, but they’re not exactly easy to come across. I mean, good ones don’t lay around on the street.”

Jessica nodded in understanding and said, “I would feel a lot better if I knew you would stop seeing him when you get back home, but you won’t, will you?” Dean didn’t answer, which told her everything she needed to know. “Promise me you’ll be more careful?”

“I’ll try.” She smiled because that was actually more than she had hoped for. “How do you know about this stuff, anyway?”

“Well, a few years ago, I was totally into that.”

Dean frowned and locked their gazes. “As…?”

“Oh! Not a sub. No. I was a Domme.” Now, his eyes widened almost comically and Jessica smirked.

“Please don’t tell me–”

“No, your brother isn’t into that. And it’s okay. It was more of a phase in my life, you know, I was curious and experimental, so… It was fun and I gained lots of experience and strength from it, although there were some things that stuck with me. I saw a lot of dark things where bad etiquette was going on and it showed me that BDSM was more dangerous than most people liked to think. But there were also couples and partners who’re beautiful together and trust each other. That was what amazed me about it in the first place. This trust between them, it’s amazing.” In the background, Jessica could hear Sam going about his routine and she knew they’d leave in a few minutes, so she said, “What you do is wonderful, Dean. And all I wish for you is to find that; someone you can trust with your life.”

He smiled faintly and nodded. “Thank you.”

“Come on, let’s get out and have some fun.” When she stood, Dean followed and she wrapped her arm around his shoulder to guide him towards the door. “What you need now is a distraction. And what better opportunity than to seek one at a party? You’ll find yourself a nice lady, or gentleman, and enjoy yourself!” Jessica slapped him on the shoulder playfully and grinned at him with an excited expression.

Before they left the room, Dean turned to her with honest eyes. “Thanks, again, Jess. And, by the way, you look beautiful tonight.”

That made her smile brightly and she winked at him teasingly, replying, “Thank you, handsome.”

Sam was just taking on his suit jacket when they finally came out of the spare room and that reminded Dean, that he still had to take on his own. By the time Dean returned from his room with the jacket on, his brother and Jess were deep into locking their lips. He smiled at them before he turned towards the door. To say he was happy for them was an understatement. Dean valued their happiness more than he did his own and he was glad they had each other.

He let them have their moment for a while before he cleared his throat loudly to get their attention. It worked, if the way they practically jumped two feet apart from one another and stared at him sheepishly was any indication. “Let’s go, then.”

Castiel had been sitting at this spot for about two hours now, unchanging. The only thing that varied was his drink. He hated events like this, but as an employee, it was his duty to come. It was only a Christmas party, anyway, and he didn’t even have to talk to people. They left him be and he was content with that, although he wouldn’t have minded the company of the young man leaning against the bar across the room.

He had been watching him since he spotted the man an hour ago. And Castiel tried to avert his eyes, but something about the blonde kept pulling Castiel towards him and he just couldn’t resist raking his eyes over his lean body. It wasn’t Castiel’s fault – he wasn’t the one putting his frame on display like that after all. His suit hugged him in all the right places, especially his rear. The man had been flirting with an attractive redhead and every time he smiled or laughed at something she had said, his eyes would twinkle beautifully and his teeth were white, his smile blinding.

Taking another sip of his too-sweet drink, Castiel wished he would be in the place of the redhead to take a better look at his face so that he could make out the color of his eyes – in the dim light of the hall, everyone’s eyes seemed dark. Castiel decided that, as long as he wasn’t able to do exactly this, he would just continue to stare at his face instead.

He was fascinated by the way the light danced across his features and created different shadows. It accentuated the man’s jawline and suddenly, Castiel found himself drawn to his mouth, especially when the tip of his tongue poked out to dance across those pillowy lips. He had a wonderful mouth and Castiel started fantasizing about how his plump lips would feel like against his own, how his lower lip would feel like between Castiel’s teeth, and how they would feel against his tongue. For some reason, he imagined they would be velvety and he craved to prove himself right.

His drink was empty now and Castiel smiled to himself as he finally got the opportunity he had been waiting for; to walk towards the man. And to his utter surprise, the woman left right before he reached the bar and so Castiel used this to his advantage and took her spot. Before he sat down, though, Castiel first ordered his new drink while he felt the man’s eyes on him. Then he sank down onto the stool and turned to face him.

For a second, Castiel thought he would fall from the stool because – _good Lord_ – he was even more stunning up close. Vibrant spring green eyes met his own and all he could do was stare. The man was by far the most beautiful one Castiel had ever laid his eyes upon and he gravitated towards him, into his personal space, without even noticing. It was astounding and Castiel hadn’t ever felt this pull in his chest towards another person before.

Castiel blinked a few times to get a clear vision again – thinking he must have had a few drinks too much already – and took in the sight before him. A dust of gold-brown freckles littered his nose and cheeks, making him look almost boyish, but the barely visible crow’s feet in the corners of his eyes told Castiel another story. His face was slightly flushed from the alcohol he had had tonight.

After a while, he noticed that he had been more than just openly staring and realized that his lips were parted, so Castiel closed his mouth and collected himself before he could do something embarrassing like start to drool. He righted his bow-tie and cleared his throat, then smiled friendly and said, “Hello, my name is Castiel.”

The man turned further around so that he was almost completely in Castiel’s personal space, the heat radiating off of his body pulling Cas in even more, and introduced himself with, “Dean.” Then _Dean_ extended his hand and Castiel took it, right before he noticed the wristband around it. He had never believed in fate but he felt lucky anyhow. Dean was not just the most attractive man Castiel had ever seen, he was the most beautiful Submissive that ever stood in front of him.

In addition, there was the fact that, when Castiel put his hand into Dean’s and their skin met, it sent pleasant chills down his spine like refreshing electroshocks. It was amazing and got overwhelming way too fast, which was why Castiel grabbed his drink and downed it in one go as soon as Dean – unfortunately – let go of his hand. He missed his touch immediately and his hand felt too cold.

_What is wrong with me?_

When Dean smiled at him again, Castiel felt dizzy and this time it had nothing to do with him being slightly drunk. He wasn’t even truly drunk yet, just a bit buzzed.

“So, you work here?”

A shiver ran down Castiel’s spine at Dean’s deep and gravelly voice but he managed to nod. “Yes, I do. I’m an accountant here.”

“Sorry, what?”

Dean leaned in closer so that his lips were suddenly very close and Castiel forgot what was going on for a moment until he remembered that he had to repeat his sentence and that Dean was only this close to him to be able to understand him. “I said, yes, I work as an accountant here.” He loosened his bow-tie as much as possible, suddenly feeling hot.

“Accountant? Isn’t that kinda boring?”

Meeting Dean’s eyes after he had been staring too long at the blonde’s lips, which were dangerously close to his own, Castiel smiled and answered, “Actually, it’s not. While it’s not the most adventurous profession, it’s literally calculable and I like this sense of continuity. I know what I’m getting into and I have full control over numbers and such things.”

“So, you need routine?” He smiled again.

“I think it’s less about routine than things I can control.” Castiel didn’t know why he was telling a stranger about this, but he had the feeling that Dean wouldn’t judge.

“Control-freak, then? Wouldn’t have guessed. Why didn’t you choose to become a teacher or bus driver? I mean, you have control over everything in these jobs.”

Frowning, Castiel said, “That is true. But you have to know that I prefer to be on my own. I’m not good with people and it gets awkward pretty fast, so this was just what suited me best.”

Dean nodded, his face still very close to Castiel’s. “That’s an argument.” He took a sip of his amber-colored drink and placed it back down, meeting Castiel’s gaze once more. He just then noticed how long Dean’s lashes were.

“What about you? I’ve never seen you here before and I’m sure I’d remember a stunning face like yours.” The words came flooding out with the rest of the sentence entirely without his permission and Castiel was internally slapping himself for letting it slip.

But Dean just grinned cockily at him and raised an eyebrow. “Stunning?” Castiel hoped Dean wouldn’t see the blush creeping upon his cheeks, he felt stupid. Chuckling, he said, “I don’t work here. I’m just attending my brother and his girlfriend, Jess… just staying over for the holidays.”

“That’s a shame.” It really was, and without any reason, Castiel could feel his heart sink in his chest. _Seriously, what is in those drinks they sell here?_ “If you’re not from here, where do you come from?”

Now Dean’s cheeks flushed some more and he averted his eyes. It took a moment, but when he looked up again, his expression was a bit apologetic when he said, “Look, you’re a nice guy and it’s fun talking to you, but you’re practically a stranger and I don’t wanna give away where I live. I’m sorry.”

Of course, Castiel understood that and he nodded to show as much to Dean. He smiled politely and assured, “That’s fine. I apologize for asking. Sometimes I don’t know what’s appropriate in these situations.”

Before Castiel could die in shame, Dean’s smile was back and he put his hand on his thigh, squeezing once. This rather intimate touch sent a wave of pleasure through his body, pooling right in the pit of his stomach. _God, his hand is warm._ It felt like it was burning through the fabric of his trousers. “Really, it’s okay. I’ll tell you what, it’s about a two days’ drive and one night in a cheap motel away from here.”

Only once Dean withdrew his hand, Castiel could think straight again and he relaxed a fraction now that he knew that Dean would like to tell him where he lived. It was just how any human with rational thought would act like, of course.

Smiling, Castiel asked, “Am I allowed to know what you do? As work, I mean.”

Dean chuckled once again and his shoulders shook, it was a wonderful sight. “Sure! I’m a mechanic.”

That somehow surprised Castiel and he had to know, “How come you decided to choose that as your profession?”

“I’ve always been good with fixing stuff. And I’ve always had a weak-spot for cars, so I thought, why not combine those and work at an auto repair shop.”

“That sounds nice.” His smile grew bigger while his focus was yet again on the wristband Dean was wearing. His thoughts strayed into dangerous territory as he tried and succeeded to imagine the blonde bared before him, on his knees, his head bowed and eyes cast down. In his head, that was a beautiful image and Castiel wanted it to become reality.

He was ripped out of his reverie when Dean suddenly asked, “You wanna dance?”

Castiel threw a nervous look at the dance floor. There were a few couples and colleagues slow-dancing, hugging each other close and grinning widely. And while he’d have loved to hold Dean in his arms like that, he was hyper-aware of the fact that dancing didn’t count as one of his talents. So he turned back to Dean and said, “I’m not sure. I can’t really dance and am rather bad at it.”

“Come on, I can show you.” Dean stood and extended his hand once more.

How would Castiel ever have been able to deny this man anything? So, he lay his hand into Dean’s and followed him towards the dance floor, and because he didn’t really know what to do, he allowed someone else to take control for once. Castiel let Dean guide his hands, which ended up entwined with Dean’s right one and resting at his lower back, just above the curve of his ass. “Let me lead,” Dean whispered, his lips almost touching the shell of Castiel’s ear and making him shiver. He had goosebumps as Dean started to move and he stared down at their feet, trying to understand what to do. But then Dean brushed his lips against the skin right behind his ear and suggested, “It’ll be easier when you don’t look at your feet. Just let yourself be guided. Look at me instead.”

Castiel did, and he didn’t even need to search for Dean’s eyes, because they were right there – inches away from his and honest. Open for everyone to read. They gave away so much emotion and Castiel felt a rush of _something_ at the sight of it. His irises were darker now, moss green rather than spring, and Castiel got so lost in them, that he didn’t notice they were dancing at first. Dean was right – it was easier – and he smiled brightly at him. “I’m dancing.”

Dean laughed and threw his head back, “Sure you are.”

“How do you do it?”

Leaning in closer again, Dean whispered, “It’s just part of my charm.” Castiel believed him and if he weren't currently that aware of Dean’s breath ghosting across his skin, he would have been able to find a remark to that. But all he could think of now were Dean’s lips again and they were _so_ close. He just had to lean in and would finally be able to prove himself right. His heart was beating so fast, it threatened to break through his rip-cage, and his pulse quickened.

When Dean pressed his body closer against Castiel’s, he flicked his gaze up to Dean’s and caught him staring at his mouth as well, and that was all Castiel needed to close the space between them and slot their lips together. The blonde started moving them in an instant and Castiel was quick to gain the upper hand over the kiss. He began slow, brushing his lower lip against Dean’s, taking in the feel of the pink flesh. They were indeed velvety and wonderfully soft. There was no heat behind it for now, and when they broke apart to take in some fresh air, they stared at each other with half-lidded eyes. Castiel tried to savor all of Dean’s beautiful freckles, memorize them for later. When Dean closed his eyes briefly, his cheeks were covered with long lashes and it was mesmerizing.

This man was absurdly handsome.

Then Castiel dove back in and captured Dean’s mouth with his lips, kissing him again. But this time, it wasn’t as innocent as the first one, it was at once hot and fierce, passionate and demanding, and Castiel merely suppressed a moan as his knees got weak. His right hand, the one that hadn’t been entwined with Dean’s, slid up to the blonde’s face to cup his side, thumb stroking over the high of his cheekbone, and Dean leaned into the touch as he slightly parted his lips to give Castiel permission to slide his tongue inside the hot wetness of his mouth.

They had to part all too soon to be able to breathe again, but after that, they both didn’t want to waste much time and Castiel crushed their lips back together as if trying to flatten Dean’s mouth. The blonde pushed back hungrily, his mouth open and inviting as the bristles of their scruff scratched against each other’s skin and Dean grabbed Castiel’s back to steady himself. He thought they may have stopped dancing by now, though he wasn’t sure.

Castiel merely knew that he wanted to be even closer to Dean and pressed the man against himself even more, and Dean moaned into his mouth. The sound vibrated through him and Castiel let slip a groan of his own. Dean used this to his advantage and pushed his tongue into Castiel’s mouth to seek out his tongue, and when they first met in the middle, the slide of their tongues was delicious and Castiel’s senses were overwhelmed with _Dean._ His taste, the feel of him, everything. And it was amazing.

He grew more desperate and demanding, chasing the flavor of Dean’s tongue as it battled against his and the wet slide sent waves of pleasure through Castiel’s entire body. His fingertips tingled and his skin felt hot. The kiss was rough but tender in a way he had never experienced before. Dean was an amazing kisser. He was captivating and enticing, like a force you couldn’t resist, and once you got a taste – a glimpse – of it, you’d never be able to let him go again.

With every time they had to part, the kiss got more heated and intense, both trying to savor the taste of the other, exploring the intriguing moisture. And Castiel couldn’t get enough. He was almost devouring Dean, who hummed into their connected mouths as if this was the most satisfying thing he had ever done at a party before. Castiel could feel him wanting to part, but he chased Dean’s mouth as if his life depended on it and bit down on his lower lip slightly. When Dean just moaned almost inaudibly, Castiel bit down a bit more into the tender flesh and the blonde’s eyelids fluttered as he struggled to keep from groaning too loud.

Their chests were heaving and when Castiel got a glimpse of Dean’s eyes, he could see his pupils swallowing the green. Before he let go of Dean’s bottom lip, Castiel nibbled it playfully. It filled him with satisfaction when it snapped back into place and Castiel gazed upon spit-slick and kiss-swollen lips. Dean’s cheeks were a deep shade of red now and they matched his shiny, dark red mouth, bringing his freckles to stand out and made them even more prominent on his skin.

All Castiel could do was take in breath after breath and stare at Dean in awe. Before he knew what he was doing, Castiel asked, “Do you want to get out of here?” Dean merely bit his bottom lip, right where Castiel’s teeth had just been, and nodded eagerly. “Will you need to say goodbye to your brother?” That seemed to have shaken Dean out of whatever thought he got caught up in and he looked at him before nodding once more.

“Yeah, right. I’ll be right back.”

And then he was gone, leaving Castiel behind with the promise to come back and the memory of his lips against Castiel’s. He didn’t know how long he just stood there and waited, but it was obviously long enough to make him think Dean wouldn’t return. That wouldn’t have been the first time he got turned down, but he never cared before. Now, it just felt like Dean had taken something precious from him and disappeared with it, leaving just half of Castiel behind.

Whatever that was about, Castiel found it frightening but also exhilarating because this feeling was entirely new to him. And then his eyes caught Dean, squeezing past the people on his way and crossing the space between them, and he felt like a weight had just been lifted off of his shoulders. He took a steadying breath and extended his hand out towards Dean, who placed it into his own and intertwined their fingers. Castiel’s knees went weak again.

As soon as the two of them entered his apartment, Castiel picked up where they had left off and kissed Dean again. He pressed him against the door and closed it like that, caging Dean in between the wood and his body. The blonde kissed back just as eagerly and Castiel wrapped his hands around the back of Dean’s neck to have something to hold on to. Between heated kisses, Castiel breathed out, “I don’t usually do this.”

Dean took in some much-needed breaths while Castiel leaned his forehead against Dean’s, the tips of their noses rubbing together. He slotted a thigh between the blonde’s legs and elicited a moan from him. “What do you mean?”

Before he answered, Castiel stole a quick kiss, then said, “This.” Another kiss.

“Me neither.”

Castiel frowned and leaned back to look at him. “You don’t do one-night stands?”

“Oh… well, I’ve had countless. But I usually ask out the nice ones for dinner before going home with them.”

And yet another kiss before Castiel had even been able to ask if he was one of the nice ones. Their making-out got more heated again and Dean started creating some friction with Castiel’s thigh until he suddenly stopped and withdrew from Castiel while he tried to chase after his mouth. He leaned out of his space to look at him worriedly and asked, “Are you alright, Dean?”

The blonde had to catch his breath, before he was able to meet his gaze and answer, “Yeah, I…” He blinked a few times and averted his eyes, suddenly ashamed now. Castiel straightened and took a step back from him, still breathing heavily. “I’m sorry. I-I can’t.”

Castiel tried to swallow the stab of pain at those words and willed his erection to go away. His priority was to care for Dean at that moment and nothing else mattered, so he assured, “It’s okay, Dean. If you don’t feel it… if you don’t want me like that, I’ll understand.”

At that, Dean’s gaze locked with his again and he hurried to say, “No! It’s not that I don’t want you. God, I want you so bad, more than I ever wanted anyone.” Castiel didn’t understand and he frowned, which Dean must have gotten, because he continued, “I think that’s why. You’re not just some warm body willing to have sex with me. I actually like you and even if this is gonna be the only time we see each other, I don’t want it to be hurried and I wouldn’t want this while we were drunk. Not like that.”

All Castiel could do after hearing that was stare at him with understanding and amazement and what else. He thought he must have looked stupid.

Even if he wished more than anything to take those clothes off of Dean and map-out his freckled skin with his tongue, then delve it back into his mouth while sinking deep inside him, Castiel understood. He felt the same. There was this strong connection between the two, like a bond, although they didn’t know each other longer than an hour.

“I’m sorry.”

It was whispered but the regret with which it was said sent another stab of pain right into Castiel’s chest and he surged forward, grasping Dean’s face with both his hands and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Dean, it’s okay. I understand.” Then Castiel let one of his hands slip down his body until it found Dean’s hand and laced their fingers, bringing them up between them. “I understand.”

Dean smiled weakly and gave a tiny nod.

“Should I walk you back…?” His thumb stroked a line down the side of Dean’s face and back up and he noticed just then that they were standing in the dark.

“No. May I… can I stay?”

“Of course.” Castiel thought about what they could do together that had nothing to do with sex. They could have watched a movie, or eaten something, though Castiel wasn’t particularly hungry and Dean didn’t seem like that either, so he opted for something more intimate and hoped it wouldn’t scare Dean away. “You don’t shy away from my touch. Do you trust me?”

It was a stupid question to ask someone he only knew for about an hour, but he did it anyway. And to his utter surprise, Dean nodded and leaned into the touch of his hand. “Take off your clothes, please.” Even in the darkness of this room, Castiel was able to make out Dean’s confused expression. “Don’t worry, just get ready for bed.”

Dean still had that same face but started to unbutton his suit anyway. Castiel smiled happily and took some steps back into the room. “I’ll leave you to it. If you’re done, join me in the bedroom and bring your clothes. You can put them there.” Then he turned around and went into his room, leaving the door open so Dean would know where to go. It was still fully dark inside except for the light coming from outside the window, so it took Castiel a bit longer to undress himself. After a while, the only clothing remaining were his boxers and he climbed into bed like that, covering his frame with the comforter.

He didn’t know how long he was staring at the ceiling nervously, full of anticipation, until he eventually heard footsteps, but his heart was racing and his breathing quickened and it was worth the wait when Dean finally stepped into the room, slowly and uncertain, and set down his folded suit and shoes at the foot of the bed. There was a short moment when Dean just stood there, staring at the king-sized bed, before he sighed quietly and climbed into it, sliding underneath the comforter.

Dean’s warm, bare feet touched his ankles and Castiel turned to face him slowly, a small and content smile gracing his lips. It felt right having him here in his bed, like it was where he belonged all along. “Am I allowed to touch you?”

A pause, and then, “Yeah.” It was barely a breath but Castiel caught it, so he guided their bodies into the right position until his chest was pressed against Dean’s back and he had both his arms wrapped around the blonde. His hands rested at Dean’s belly underneath the comforter and Dean let out a content sigh before he placed his own above Castiel’s. Their legs were entangled and Castiel pressed his nose into the skin of the back of Dean’s neck, inhaling deeply. He smelled nice and his body was so pleasantly warm against his own, Castiel wished to stay like this forever.

After a while, his breathing was back to normal and his heart stopped hammering against Dean’s back. He soaked in the blonde’s scent, warmth, and feel and just enjoyed laying like this in comfortable silence, his hands rising and falling with Dean’s even breaths.

Castiel whispered the next time he talked as if trying not to destroy the quiet. “I thought, maybe, we could talk.”

Dean turned his head slightly. “Talk about what?” His voice was low and quiet.

“I don’t know…” Pressing his lips against Dean’s skin, he started to play with the band around his wrist. It sent chills down his spine and he heard Dean exhale shakily. “You’re a sexual submissive,” it wasn’t a question as much as a statement.

Another shaky breath, then, “Yeah.”

Suddenly, Castiel remembered that he had seen a cut above Dean’s eyebrow in the dim lights of the party hall and he couldn’t help but connect it to this. “Are you currently scening with someone?” As much as Castiel didn’t want to think about Dean with another Dom, he wanted to know.

“Yeah.”

Closing his eyes, he asked, “May I ask… if you two are only pairing up for scenes, or are you more involved with each other than that?”

Dean hummed, taking a while to answer. “No, just when we have a scene planned.”

Somehow that made Castiel feel lighter. “Are they private?”

“What? The scenes?” He nodded and Dean said, “Yes. I’m, uh, I dunno. I guess I’m just not that into the public stuff. Although it’s nice to look at.”

“You don’t think you’d be nice to look at?”

The blonde laughed shakily. “Hell, I dunno. We’re not doing the extreme stuff, you know. There’s no suspension, nothing like that.”

“It doesn’t always have to be the extreme stuff that’s public. Edging is always nice to observe.”

Dean snorted a laugh. “You trying to encourage me here?”

“Of course, not. I’m simply saying that people would definitely not be opposed to seeing you like that.” _Castiel sure wasn’t._ He thought that Dean must be a stunning sight all flushed and sweaty, writhing with pleasure.

“I dunno, man. I’d feel weird.”

“It’s okay. I totally understand. Some pairs or couples prefer to keep their most intimate moments for themselves. After all, they share a very delicate and special moment with each other and are vulnerable all throughout it.”

“I guess, yeah.” Dean turned his head again, trying to see him in the dark. “So, you’re a Dom?”

Smiling, Castiel confirmed, “That is true.”

A small chuckle followed and Dean teased, “Control, he?”

He had to laugh himself. “Yes. It makes me feel at ease.”

“So… Are you currently pairing up with someone?” His question was asked tentatively, as if Dean didn’t know if he was allowed to ask it.

“Unfortunately not, though I’d be happy to.” Dean merely hummed and Castiel pressed another kiss to his skin. He didn’t care that this may have been too intimate to do, even inappropriate, with a stranger – most people didn’t press kisses of affection into a stranger’s skin – but Castiel couldn’t find it in himself to care. Collecting his courage, Castiel asked, “I don’t want to impose, I know it’s not my place to ask, but I was wondering if… your face – does it have anything to do with your Dom?”

Castiel held his breath as he waited for Dean to yell at him to mind his own business and rush out of his apartment, but that didn’t come. Instead, Dean just let out a shaky breath and clutched his hands a bit firmer. “Michael… he’s into impact play, he doesn’t use toys anymore, only his fists. Sometimes he just forgets whatever limits I set up…” Castiel took in a long breath to calm himself and closed his eyes. Hearing that hurt more than Castiel had anticipated and now he had the sudden urge to slam his fist into this Michael’s face just like he did Dean’s. The blonde must have felt Castiel’s remorse, because he caressed his clenched fists and reassured, “It’s not that bad, it could be good, you know. I’d really enjoy a good whipping or being flogged, I guess. He just doesn’t do it for both our sexual gratification, it’s more to satisfy himself. And I hate when he starts punching my face. Sure, being slapped around during sex turns me on, but not when he ignores a limit and gives me a black eye.”

Again, Castiel had to calm himself down in order to keep his voice from trembling. “Please, tell me you safeword out of those situations?”

Dean sighed. “There’s no use, man. Even if I would, he’d just do it the next time.” Castiel didn’t want to believe what he was hearing, he couldn’t. “Besides, we always scene in a private room in a club and my friend, Benny, is a security guy there, like a protector, and each room has its own – he’s responsible for mine and if he sees something he doesn’t like or knows that something I don’t like is happening, he interferes and gives Michael a warning, and if he still doesn’t stop, Benny breaks it off.”

“Dean, as a Sub you have to know your limits and use your safeword when it comes to things like this. You can’t just let him go on and do anything to you. You’re risking your well-being and health by doing so.”

“I don’t want him to stop altogether, I just want him to back off a bit, to take it slower.”

“Then tell him!” It came out louder and harsher than he had wanted – Castiel was at the brink of losing his patience and control over his emotions. It must have intimidated Dean because, suddenly, he went stiff in his arms and didn’t answer. So, he tried again, his voice more patient and calmer now when he said, “I apologize, Dean. It’s just– this is very important. Communication is everything in a scene. Tell him to use the color system with you. Green go, yellow slow down and red stop. And I know I don’t have a say in that, but if he doesn’t change, he could seriously endanger your health, physically and mentally. You should consider looking out for a partner that suits you better.” Castiel felt like overstepping his boundaries, but he needed to make Dean understand. It was one thing to let him go at the end of this night again, but knowing that he would give Dean into incapable hands was another thing entirely.

“Cas… I– thanks, for looking out for me. You don’t even know me and that just shows me that you’re a great guy. But…” His hands grasped Castiel’s. “It’s more complicated than that. I can’t just cut him off.” Castiel had to suppress a disapproving sigh. _Of course, you can’t._ And as if knowing that Castiel wasn’t satisfied with that answer, Dean added, “I’ll try, ‘kay?”

Taking this as a slight victory, knowing that this was all he was going to get, Cas merely nodded. There was a moment of utter silence before Dean broke it again to say, “You seem like an amazing Dom, like you’d care a lot about your Sub.” Hesitantly, Dean started to trace his fingertips along Castiel’s knuckles and a line up his arm. It tickled pleasantly and he smiled a content smile.

“It is a Dom’s task to take care of their Sub. I, specifically, not only need to have a physical connection to my Sub, but also an emotional one. I need a romantic relationship so I know that he’s mine only. Mine to care for, to bring him pleasure and make him feel good. So it’s my priority to assure his health and well-being, to make him feel safe and loved. Communication, trust, and each other’s consent is what’s most important to me.”

Dean cuddled himself closer against his chest and into Castiel’s arms and hummed. “Hmm… that sounds nice.”

Burying his face into the back of Dean’s neck, Castiel took another deep breath to inhale his delicious scent and relished the sensation of the spiky, soft tips of his hair as they tickled his face. After a while, he murmured, “You could have that.”

He could feel the blonde shrug his shoulders and a pang of sadness went through him at that. Dean deserved that – someone special to care for him. And somehow Castiel wished more than anything that he could be that someone. It filled him with even more sadness.

But Castiel tried to swallow it down and enjoy Dean’s warm body right here, pressed against his own, in his bed. They fell silent after that and Castiel listened to Dean’s breathing evening out until he was asleep. His steady breaths made Castiel follow Dean not long after and for once, he felt content.

Dean woke up with a heavy arm wrapped around his middle and he had the feeling that someone was staring at him. It took him a while to be able to open his eyes, but once they were, he was glad he did. His gaze was locked with Cas’ immediately and for a moment, Dean let himself get lost in the endless blue of his eyes. They were warm and honest and Dean forgot all about his surroundings, his senses closing in on a world of sapphire, filled with countless emotions.

But then Castiel smiled and stroked the side of Dean’s face, Dean’s lids fluttering at the tender caress, and he was suddenly well aware of where he was and how he got there. “What?”

Castiel only stared, unblinking, as his fingertips danced along the edge of his jaw. “You’re a very beautiful man, Dean. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Dean looked at him with disbelief, although his expression turned quizzical and he was sure his cheeks were tinged red. “No, I guess. I dunno… people say lots’a stuff to get in your pants, you know.”

“Well, I’m not saying it to get into your pants. It’s only the undeniable truth.” Cas said it with such conviction, that he almost believed it, too.

But Dean, being his typical self, just shied away from his gaze and lowered his eyes, doubtfully mumbling, “Yeah, sure…”

Suddenly, there were a pair of hands framing his face and making Dean meet his eyes. Castiel had a stern face, his brow raised and head slightly tilted, as he clarified, “Dean, while you’re an unbelievably stunning person, your habit of falling back on belittling yourself, so you won’t get hurt, gets truly frustrating after a while. If I say you’re beautiful, you accept it and try to believe it. You can’t really think so little of yourself that you shut down anything that comes too close to stating the exact opposite…? So I’m just going to say it again. Dean, you’re beautiful and don’t ever think any different about it.”

Now Dean averted his eyes in shame at being called out like this. He felt bared and vulnerable, even though it wasn’t the first time someone complained about his low self-esteem. Maybe it was just the fact that this was Cas – this amazing and nice guy, who started to become Dean’s dream come true and everything Dean had ever wished for in someone he could imagine spending his life with. And now that Dean thought about it, the realization of his feelings towards this stranger was just too frightening and overwhelming. He wanted this; he wanted _Cas._

_How the hell did he made me feel this way? What even happened?_

But Cas couldn't ever want him, could he?

For some reason, Dean didn’t want Castiel to know him like this – to know the ugly parts about him. He wanted to remain beautiful in Cas’ eyes, because _goddamn_ it felt good to hear that. Dean wished for someone at his side that would call him beautiful, whisper words of affection into his skin, make him feel loved and cared for. He wanted Castiel because he was just that helplessly selfish.

But that thought – admitting to himself that he was a greedy, self-absorbed egoist – made his mind come up with a myriad of reasons as to why he didn’t deserve Castiel at all. The raven-haired was caring and loving, he was honest and trustworthy and Dean could never be _that_ selfish to take him all for himself while he was the last person on earth worthy of him. How could he deny people with those qualities a person like Cas?

“Dean?” When Castiel traced the curve of his bottom lip with his thumb, Dean met his eyes and realized that looking at Cas now was almost unbearable. His throat tightened and made breathing a bit difficult and his pulse quickened. What was he even doing here?

“Are you okay?”

Dean realized he must have been staring at nothing in utter silence for too long and he shook himself out of it. Blinking a few times, he sat up straight in the bed – the change of position made Castiel’s hand slip from his face and it hovered in the air for a second, before Cas lay it down onto the sheets. Dean couldn’t look at him as he got out of bed and grabbed his pants to get dressed. If he did, he would have seen the look of regret and slight panic in Castiel’s face.

While he put on his shirt and did the buttons, Dean noticed his eyes were welling up with tears and he didn’t even know why. _Because you’re a dumbass, that’s it!_

His hands trembled slightly and his heart threatened to break through his thorax, but Dean still managed to tie his shoes and slide his arms into the jacket.

“Dean, if I said something wrong, I am truly sorry. It wasn’t my attention to–”

Fighting back traitorous tears, Dean finally raised his head and met Castiel’s eyes. They were pleading and Dean felt like the greatest jerk in history – like kicking a puppy into its face. He didn’t want Cas to feel that way, Dean wasn’t worth a single thought. Castiel shouldn’t waste his time like that, so he cleared his throat and said, “Cas, you didn’t do anything wrong, okay? It’s me. That’s the whole problem.”

Castiel’s expression changed and now he looked confused. He got into an upright position and crawled towards the edge of the bed so he could climb out of it and stand in front of Dean, who had to keep himself from lowering his eyes to take a peek at Cas’ naked torso. “I don’t understand, Dean.” He reached out his hand towards Dean as if wanting to touch him, but he hesitated and then let his arm fall back into place at his side.

With a sad sigh, Dean closed his eyes and grasped Castiel’s hands in his, taking in their warmth. “Thank you, Cas,” he looked at Cas then, “for this night. It may have not been anything special but it was for me. I’ve never shared this much of myself with anyone except for my brother and it means a lot.” He internally yelled at himself for letting a tear drop. Now he not only was a selfish jerk but a stupid teenager, having no control over his stupid feelings. “You’re amazing, Cas. Don’t ever change.”

And with that, he withdrew his hands from Cas, whose fingers held on to his until the last moment, and headed out of the door, leaving behind the best shot at happiness he had ever gotten. _God,_ he was so stupid.

At least now he didn’t have to hold his tears back.

Castiel was too overwhelmed with everything happening and every word Dean had said lingering in his mind, to go after Dean and try to stop him. His eyes were misty and when he touched his face to rub at them, he felt that his cheeks were wet. So he was crying – standing there, at the foot of his now too empty, too big bed with his head bowed and crying.

He didn’t know what was going on and he couldn’t tell his emotions because they were all over the place. He had never felt anything like this.

It was strange, Castiel couldn’t comprehend how it was even possible to spend a night with a complete stranger and feel such a deep connection to him, that when he gets rejected by said stranger, he feels like he’s lost everything

And Castiel felt like he had lost everything. Being with Dean felt natural even if he only got to feel it for a night. _And why was he even that sad?_ He knew from the beginning, that this would be a one-time thing only – Castiel had known what he would get himself into and he had been eager to want it. Now he wished he hadn’t… though he also didn’t ever want to miss knowing Dean. He had been doomed from the start.

The only thing he knew, was that letting Dean go felt like a big mistake and Castiel cursed himself as he realized that he should’ve followed him, after all.

The time read 9.24 am when the door to their apartment opened and Dean entered the living space. Jessica and Sam were having breakfast on the couch, watching some shitty TV, and they turned their heads to look at Dean as he closed the door and started towards his room.

It took Dean a moment to realize they were in the room with him as well, and when he lifted his gaze to look at them, Sam placed down his bowl of cereal on the coffee table and stood. His brother looked tired and he had dark bags underneath his eyes. If that hadn’t been proof enough to tell them something was wrong, it would have been the way Dean held his posture. His head was bowed as if too heavy and his shoulders slumped.

“Hey, Dean!” Sam tried anyway and shot a worried look towards Jessica, who stood as well.

“Hi.” It was quiet, his voice small and jittery. “You guys up already?” He tried and failed to give them a suspicious grin and Sam walked towards him, placing his hand on Dean’s shoulder to soothe him.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Jessica was able to see how uncomfortable Dean felt at his brother’s worry and she knew there was something seriously wrong when Dean thought himself unworthy of it.

The elder Winchester just shrugged off Sam’s hand and gave his brother a fake smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Sam threw him a look that said ‘don’t give me shit’ and countered, “You don’t look fine, Dean. I thought you went to that guy’s place… did he do anything?” Suddenly, Sam’s eyes widened at the possibility that his brother got hurt by someone and he pressed, “Did he hurt you? I swear if he–”

“Hold your horses, Sammy. He didn’t do anything, okay?”

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, disapprovingly, Sam asked, “And you suppose I believe this?”

“Yeah, Sam!” Dean rolled his eyes at his brother and turned to walk away, but Sam, the ever stubborn one, grabbed his arm and turned him back around.

“Sorry, I don’t. Because you just don’t come back from some random hookup looking like _that_ ,” he gestured wildly at Dean’s frame, “and be okay!”

Now Dean’s expression changed into a furious one and Jessica hated the way those two were just too stubborn to communicate properly with one another without ending up in a shouting fight, while all they wanted was to look out for each other.

Almost yelling, Dean spoke, “Well, Sam, what do you want?! Should I give you a tour so you can see everything’s just fine?! I’m sorry that you don’t trust me enough to believe when I say that I feel just fucking peachy!” With that, Dean stomped out of the living space and into his room, slamming the door shut behind him to let Sam know just how pissed he was at him.

Jessica came to stand behind Sam, who hadn’t moved an inch, and placed her hands on his shoulders. Quietly, she asked, “Are you alright?”

He turned around then and scoffed. “Yeah, I’m perfect.”

His eyes were a bit sad and he looked guilty, so Jessica framed his face with her hands and said, “You know it’s not your fault, Sam. Something clearly upset him this morning and he let it out on you. Dean just needs some space to work it out, okay?”

“Too much space was what almost took him away from me last time…” Jessica couldn’t bare look at Sam’s teary face as those memories came flooding back in, so she wrapped her arms around his back and hugged him close.

“That wasn’t your fault either, we talked about this a hundred times already, Sam.” Her heart ached for the brothers. They had been through too much together.

Sam merely nodded and returned the hug. “Better now?” Another nod and Jess withdrew from him slowly. She looked into his hazel eyes and smiled reassuringly. “Why don’t you go out and buy something for dinner tonight to clear your head a bit and I try to talk to Dean?”

A small smile appeared on his face and she took that as a win. “Yeah, okay.” Sam gave her a soft kiss on the lips and whispered, “thank you.”

As soon as the door closed after Sam had put on some clothes and left the apartment, Jessica turned on her heels and walked towards the spare room. She stopped in front of the door and hesitated for a moment before knocking, though she didn’t wait for any permission because Jessica was certain she wouldn’t have gotten one anyway and entered the room carefully.

Her eyes landed on Dean’s silhouette, perched on the edge of the bed as she closed the door almost inaudibly. His elbows were propped on his knees and his face buried in his palms, looking generally hunched in on himself.

“Hey, Dean… what’s wrong?” Her voice was quiet, tentative, as if to not break the heavy silence in the room. When she reached the bed, Jessica crouched down in front of him and grasped his hands with her own to bare his face. “What was that right there? Why do you feel like you can’t tell us the truth? We know you’re not okay. Let us take care of you just like family is supposed to, Dean.”

With a heavy sigh, Dean met her gaze and said, “I dunno…” He even managed to shrug his shoulders enough for Jessica to catch the movement.

Dean looked miserable, his eyes puffy and half-lidded. “Do you want to talk about whatever’s going on in that head of yours?” Another shrug as Dean averted his eyes, so Jessica tried anew, “You seemed like you were having a great time last night. Is it true that he didn’t hurt you or do you just don’t wanna scare Sam?”

At that, Dean’s eyes met hers and he declared, “No! No… I did have a great time last night.”

She waited for him to continue talking but nothing came, so she carefully asked, “So, what’s the problem then?”

Dean seemed to think about it for a moment, his eyes turning regretful. “The problem is me!” He pointed at himself with a finger. “I’m always the goddamn problem. Cas was… he’s sweet and caring and I felt good with him.” He rubbed his eye once. “God, we didn’t even have sex and this was the best night I’ve ever spent with someone. Because he was there, cuddling me and listening, and talking to him felt like I was truly being heard. It felt deliberating and I told him stuff no one would ever tell a stranger. And the best fucking thing about this all is that he’s even a Dom!” He let out a frustrated huff and rubbed his eyes again, viciously, as if they had done something to make him mad. 

“That’s great, Dean. He sounds wonderful. I just don’t understand why you think you’d be the problem… stop doing that all the time.”

Another frustrated sigh left Dean’s lips and he started fiddling with his hands. They seemed to be extremely interesting to him right now as he kept staring at them with laser focus. After a while, he said in an almost whisper-like tone, “He was so honest and open with me and he was worried about me being with Michael and then he ended up telling what he would need in a Sub, which was that it wouldn’t just require a physical connection with him, but an emotional one. Cas would need a romantic relationship with someone he could trust and love and I could never be that someone because I’m a useless piece of crap and messed up. And I can’t use my goddamn words when I need to and I could never be enough for him, or anyone! It would never do!” Dean got louder at the end, his voice harsher.

With a frown, Jessica sat down on the bed next to him and wrapped her left arm around his frame. She didn’t like where this was going and hated seeing Dean that way – self-destructive and sad. “You know that’s not true, Dean.”

But he merely ignored what she had said and shook his head. “He’s too good for me. I mean, look at me. I’m trash. I don’t have anything to offer him.”

“Dean, this is self-deprecating behavior and you’re not thinking clearly here. You’re an amazing brother and friend. You are so much more than you make yourself up to be. Everyone, every Dom, would be lucky to have you.” Jessica stroked his bicep in reassuring circles with her small hand and tried to tame him down a bit – to prevent the inevitable. But then she watched as Dean’s façade started crumbling nevertheless and she would have been lying if she said there wasn’t a tiny bit of panic growing in the pit of her stomach. This ran deeper than she had assumed. 

“He’s way out of my league, and I really don’t deserve him. Even if… I don’t live here.” The despair in his jittery voice just made her feel worse. “And all _that_ just made me realize that I’ll never be able to have this – to feel safe and cared for. I’m stuck with Michael because that’s all I’m good for and it’s more than I deserve, so I should be happy….” His voice broke at the end of the sentence and Jessica felt a stab of pain in her chest at hearing her friend like that, especially when he added, “But I’m not.”

“Then stay here. Move in with Sam. You don’t have to go back and wait for John’s return, whenever that’ll be. He’s been gone for months, without a word. And he’s never really cared about you or Sam. Dean, he doesn’t deserve you and he doesn’t deserve you waiting for him. And you gonna have to stop talking like that because you deserve so much more than what Lawrence has to offer you. We’d be here, we’d care for you and we love you.” Jessica tried everything now.

When Dean spoke again, his lips trembled and his eyes shone with unshed tears as he locked eyes with her. “I can’t, Jess. It’s my home and I work there.”

“It’s just a job, you’ll find one here. Sam would be extremely happy if he got to have you around again. He misses you deeply. Can’t you see how happy your staying here makes him?”

Shaking his head again, Dean countered, “Yeah, I saw how happy I make him this morning… And besides, you’ll move in with him in a few weeks and I’ll just be in your way. I can’t impose on you two like that. Living with me wouldn’t be fun, because all I’d bring the two of you would be trouble and despair.”

Jessica started to lose her patience now, because _how is he always able to turn one’s words around and make himself look like the biggest abomination on earth?!_ “Come on Dean, why are you like this right now? You know we’d love to have you here. Stop making up excuses and saying stuff that isn’t true. It would never be true!”

“I don’t fit in!” He suddenly burst, adding, “Here live all the good looking, neat and smart people. That’s not me!”

“So you’re saying you aren’t good looking?” In her desperation, Jessica tried humor but ended up being looked at with an unamused glare. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I feel like everyone around me has their place, has someone they belong to! You and Sam have one another and I just don’t fit in!” As Dean screwed his eyes shut in defeat, a tear spilled over and ran down his freckled skin. Jessica knew that wasn’t the first one he had shed today and she didn’t know what else she could do to make him stop sinking deeper into those dangerous thoughts. “I-I just feel so alone sometimes – it’s numbing and I feel like I’m drowning. I feel like I have no one. Like I’m not meant for anyone, have no true calling. I feel like I don’t have any use in this world… What am I even here for?” When he looked at Jessica, his tears were running freely and she had to fight back her own at the sight of utter sorrow and desperation on his face.

So she just hugged Dean close against her side and cradled his face in her right hand. “Hey. No. Sam needs you – we need you. Don’t ever think like that again, Dean. Don’t go there. Please. You have us, Dean – we love you.” Jessica didn’t get an answer but listened to the quiet sobs that wracked Dean’s body and her chest hurt at the way he tried to contain his emotions as if he weren’t allowed to show them. “Don’t go down that road, Dean, please. You’ll always have us, you belong to us. And if you don’t wanna stay here, you have to promise me one thing.” There was one, tiny and weak nod, so she pleaded, “Promise me that, as soon as those thoughts get darker, you’ll come to us. Or you’ll call us and we’ll come to you. But please, promise me you won’t try to go through that alone because you think you’re a burden to us, Dean. You could never be. And we want to be there for you, it’s what family does – it’s what you’ve been doing for Sam all your life. It’s time for us to reciprocate that.”

It took a while, but Jessica managed to make Dean accept her words and received a faint nod from him, as he whispered, “Promise.” His voice was broken and quiet and his crying turned into hiccups. Jessica pressed his frame harder against herself to try and anchor him.

“Sam’ll always need you and he would never be able to bear the thought of losing you.” _To your depressions_ , she didn’t add. Just the thought of Dean committing suicide left her trembling and nauseous and she had to control herself to not let it show through. They would have never allowed it to get thus far. All Dean needed right now was someone to be there for him, to show him another way.

Sitting there at Dean’s side in utter silence except for the body-wracking hiccups coming from him, Jessica couldn’t help but let her thoughts stray to the time Sam had told her about his brother’s past – his depressions.

She was furious at her past-self for being harsh to Sam because she thought he was babysitting Dean too much. Jessica had thought that their relationship was unnatural and even unhealthy. Sam would excuse himself every night to go call his brother and he constantly checked his cell for messages. And Jessica just didn’t understand, because Dean was after all the elder one and he should have been able to take care of himself. Now, she loathed herself for scorning him in the past, even if it was just a tittle, because he kept occupying Sam’s time.

Back then, Jessica had constantly been demanding that Sam see Dean as the grownup he was and stop mother-henning him. She remembered how frustrating it had been whenever Sam got all anxious about leaving Dean and at the prospect of being that far away from him and not being able to see him every day. Right at the beginning, when he freshly moved into his apartment and first met Jessica, he had been worried 24/7.

So, one night, when they had had a major fight regarding this topic and things started to get out of hand, Sam had just broken down and told her about Dean’s struggle against himself and his fight against depression. God, she had been so sorry and shocked to hear all that and the feeling of regret and guilt that had become unbearable hadn't made it any better.

Sam had told her that Dean had been having those since childhood, presumably ever since their mother died and their father started to show no real interest in taking care of them. It had been especially hard for Dean whenever John had left him alone with Sam and the younger Winchester had admitted to Jessica, that, sometimes, he would find his brother locked up in his room. Whenever this had happened, Dean would be frighteningly quiet after that, not speak except for when he had to and Sam would practically see how Dean’s mind was tearing him apart from the inside and suck his brother into them, how Dean was getting lost in them with no anchor to ground him.

If this occurred, Sam had guessed that Dean’s good thoughts were slowly being consumed by dark ones and he tried to fight against those, make sense of them. And Dean always won, somehow. He would speak again, even smile sometimes – it gave Sam hope.

By the time Sam had reached this far in his story, Jessica had already been all misty-eyed. And then Sam had revealed that, one day, Dean hadn’t been able to fight himself – his own darkness – and it just took over. That was also the part where Jessica had lost all control and started crying, especially when Sam had started sobbing at the memory as well.

He had explained that it had been during Dean’s senior year, almost at the end of it, and one afternoon, Sam had come back home from school and found his brother passed out on the sofa, surrounded by various empty bottles of beer and his father’s whiskey that John had tried to hide. Sam had been going on autopilot mode because if he hadn’t, he would have been paralyzed with fear and shock. He had tried anything he could remember but didn’t get any reaction from Dean, so Sam had to call an ambulance in a panic and managed to keep from breaking down and crying. Jessica knew he must have been terrified of losing the only person he loved and that cared for him and it had broken her heart to hear all that.

The paramedics had immediately performed CPR on Dean on their way to the hospital and had gotten him intubated as soon as they arrived. Because Sam had had no idea what was going on with his brother, they had told him about Dean’s fatal alcohol poisoning and that his condition was bad. 

But Dean managed to come back to Sam again and when he had been awake and seen Sam, Dean started crying and apologizing. He had repeated countless times that he hadn't intended for it to go that far but also hadn't been able to stop himself and pleaded that Sam forgive him for doing it, for being weak. Dean had just wanted to drown out his thoughts and he'd been sure that alcohol would help doing so, but that he hadn't been planning on killing himself, he’d just been too spineless to stop. 

After that, Sam had admitted to Jessica, Dean had to visit a counselor after his stay at the hospital once a week for about two years and he had dropped out of school then and gotten himself a job. Jessica had been sad to hear that even Sam had needed some therapies after the incident because he had believed it was his fault somehow. Sam had been certain he could’ve prevented it if he’d been paying more attention or tried to help Dean.

With time, they had healed and Dean had seemed fine after a long time of healing.

And now Jessica was afraid that it was back. She wasn’t sure how to tell Sam about this, but he needed to know, even if Dean wouldn’t want him to. This was important and they had to help him before it got worse.

For now, though, Dean had talked enough and Jessica wanted him to take a break, so she caressed his arm and offered, in a quiet and sincere tone, “Thank you, Dean, for telling me. We’ll talk about it another time, okay? I’m gonna leave you alone now so you can get some rest and I’ll come back to you when Sam brought lunch, alright?”

Sniffing once, Dean met her eyes with a grateful expression and nodded slowly. “Thanks.”

Before she stood, Jessica patted his arm one more time reassuringly and then walked toward the door to leave the room.

“How is he?” was the first thing Sam asked after he put the groceries down and took off his jacket. He looked at Jessica with uncertainty and there was a nervous smile on his face.

She gave him a quick peck to the lips and said, “He’s resting now. But…” Her hesitation made Sam even more uneasy. Then she sighed and put her hand on his shoulder to coax him toward the couch and when they were seated, she admitted, “We have to talk.”

Sam didn’t like at all where this was going and looked at her questioningly. “What’s going on?”

“I talked to Dean.” He only lifted his eyebrow, expecting her to go on. “I think Dean is starting to get depressed again.” Her eyes turned sorrowful and she grabbed his hands.

He didn’t have anything to say at that moment, because all he could think about was what may have been the trigger for that. His hands were trembling all of a sudden and he met Jessica’s eyes. “Wh-what did he say?”

“He told me about last night,” Sam wanted to start asking questions about what happened or what this guy did to his brother, but was cut off as Jessica continued, “Cas didn’t do anything. Dean said they didn’t even go further than what we’ve already seen at the party because they only lay together and talked.”

Now Sam looked surprised. “Talk? What could’ve possibly gone wrong then?”

“He’s lonely, Sam. Back in Kansas, he’s no one except for this Michael. And he said he felt that no one loved or cared for him, that he was all alone on this earth while everyone around him was meant for someone else. Dean told me he didn’t feel like he belonged to anyone and asked what he was even still doing here.” Her voice got so quiet at the end, that Sam strained to hear it, as if hoping the words wouldn’t hurt as much when spoken quieter – _well, that was wrong._ “And this Cas… he made him feel cared for and good, which was probably what caused this all. Because, apparently, Dean doesn’t think he deserves that even though he wants it.”

This sounded too much like his brother and hearing it hurt because Sam thought they were past it. Sam had been so content that Dean was healed and happy… and now all Sam could think about was _how could I not have noticed?!_

A thought crossed his mind then and he had to make sure, “S-so, is he back to getting into fights now? Is that why he arrived with a black eye? Is that what had been going on all this time, even when I was still living with him? I can’t fucking believe I missed all the signs! What’s wrong with me?! Am I really this self-absorbed that I don’t notice my brother’s misery? And who the Hell is Michael?!”

Jessica tightened her grip around his hands to try and soothe him, to calm him down again, because Sam was starting to lose it. “Shh, no. Hey, look at me, Sam.” He didn’t even realize that he was staring at the ceiling to hold back his tears and when he looked at Jessica, her sight soothed him a little. “First of all, none of this is your fault, Sam. You can’t be responsible for everything that’s happening to your brother. And I don’t think Dean’s into fighting again. It was probably just a phase in his life, and if it is true, he didn’t say anything about it, but I am almost certain that it’s not this. As for the bruises, Dean’s…” She seemed to think about something for a moment, then started again with a sigh, “I’m only telling you this because it’s important and also regarding his health and you should know about it since you’ve been worried more than once upon seeing him like that.”

Jessica took a deep breath as if she was about to betray Dean and it took a lot of conviction to do so. Sam tried to reassure her and assured, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

“You should know that your brother is a part of the BDSM society and that he represents the submissive component in a relationship. Michael is, therefore, the Dom, as in dominant.” She stopped talking to give Sam some time to take in the information, which he was thankful for.

“So, he what? Lets himself be ordered around and tortured? What the Hell, Jess?!”

Throwing him an almost indignant but annoyed look, Jessica said, “Sam, I think you got the wrong idea of it. Sure, there’re some shady parts to it and you often hear talk about the bad etiquette, but that’s not what Dean’s doing. You have to understand that an arrangement like this is built upon trust. It’s what’s most important, besides consent and safety. And Dean has such an arrangement with Michael. They meet up regularly and scene.”

Sam still didn’t understand what that meant exactly, so he asked, “So this is no ‘master and slave’ or ‘I give you the reigns over my life’ thing? I don’t know how to imagine what you said.”

“Okay, think about this: Dean meets with Michael at an arranged time in a private room. There are lots of different ways to go about this now, there’d probably be some sort of foreplay, it could be teasing, edging, or anything. Let’s just go with teasing; Dean’d be teased by, say, barely-there touches or toys, whatever, until the Dom thinks he’s been ‘tortured’ enough and if he was good and did exactly as he was told, then they’d continue and, I don’t know– start having sex. And afterward, the Dom would take care of Dean and ensure that he’s alright.”

“So, no real torture?” Sam felt stupid and his cheeks burned as they turned red, but he wanted to know, to understand.

“It’s always different. People have certain kinks and they differ from person to person. You know, it’s like, there are people that like mediocre sex and there are people that like being manhandled and slapped during it, that just like it rougher. And depending on that, their scenes differ from one another. Sure, there are couples that are totally into power exchange relationships, where they’re in their roles 24/7, or that like to torture or be tortured by whips or knives or even fire because they’re extreme sadists or masochists, but there are ones that are in between – people who like the right amount of pain to get off because it’s pleasurable for them. BDSM doesn’t even have to be sexual, there are lots of ways.”

Struggling to take all this information in but starting to understand, Sam let out a long breath and nodded. “Okay, I think I get it.” He ran a hand through his hair and imagined Dean being sliced open with a knife just because it turns him on and a shiver went through his body. “What… what is Dean into?”

Jessica smiled slightly. “You’ll have to ask that himself.” Sam nodded – of course, he understood that they were still exchanging intimate information about his brother, behind his back. “But to come back to the bruises and Dean’s depression, Michael seems to treat him wrong. Dean told me that it’s alright, but it’s not. You see, there are certain rules and things that can never be ignored in this society and one of them is consent. Before starting a relationship or any arrangement, both parts have to make sure what the other’s limits are, what they like and what can’t ever happen, so no one will get hurt. Also, every person has their own safeword and if something does cross the line, they use it to break it off. Things can get really wrong if the Sub doesn’t safeword even if what’s happening is against their limits and it’s the same the other way around or when the Dom ignores the safeword and goes on. Consequences could be mental health issues up to life-threatening physical injuries.”

Sam didn’t like where this was going at all and he started getting nauseous. “So, he abuses Dean?”

“Unfortunately, in a way, yes. I think one of Dean’s limits is being beaten during a scene, especially so when it breaks bones or leaves bruises. He said he hates when Michael punches him and that he particularly hates when it’s his face and he has to carry the evidence of that on it for everyone to see. I don’t know if he tried safewording out of it, if he’s just too scared to do it or if it’s Michael who ignores his limits… but it’s not alright.” Jessica rubbed his hands soothingly and looked at him with sorry eyes.

Still, Sam couldn’t believe what he was hearing and it frustrated him that he wasn’t able to pay that Michael a visit and beat the living daylights out of him. “Can’t that… an arrangement like this, can’t that be what triggers depression in the first place, I mean, you let yourself be dominated over and beaten and your control is being taken away from you…? It doesn’t sound very healthy to me.”

“Actually, it doesn’t have to be the case. Subs may engage in that to free themselves from commitment, their responsibilities and all the stress and chaos they meet in their daily lives. They do it because it makes them let go of all that, makes them feel good for once. Doms may need this sense of control, they need someone to care for or just require someone else to depend on them to feel needed and useful. Some may let out their frustration and build-up anger in a positive way that brings others pleasure or makes them feel good without having to hurt someone and can even enjoy it themselves. It doesn’t always have to be because they like to be dominated or take away control from others, are masochists or sadists, or feel turned on by it, there are people out there who just need this to stay sane. Some might need to clean their entire house to clear their minds, Subs and Doms shed their baggage when they enter the playroom or the bed-chamber. It’s just like that.”

It was just then, that Sam started asking himself where the Hell Jessica had gotten all this information and knowledge about this topic, and he asked, “How do you know all this?”

His expression was quizzical and Jess bit back a smile. “I’ll tell you another time, I promise.” Sam just nodded.

“So, let me get this straight: Dean is a submissive and Michael might be abusing him in some way, he feels alone in this world because he thinks there’s no one out there for him, that he’s certain he isn’t of any use to anyone, then he meets Cas who makes him feel loved and cared for, even though they’re complete strangers, and Dean being Dean is convinced that he doesn’t deserve him anyway and drowns himself in self-destructive thoughts? And that makes him realize all he’s ever gonna get is someone like Michael and he’ll never do anything against the abuse because he thinks he deserves to be treated like that and this’ll lead him down the same path again that almost took away my brother years ago?” His voice nearly broke at the end of his question and he wracked his mind for where it could’ve gone wrong and where he might have been able to prevent this. He felt like crap that he let down his brother, _again._ But this time, Sam won’t let it get that far.

With a sad expression, Jessica framed his face with both hands and assured, “We’ll help him, okay. We’ll be there for him and prevent anything from happening to him. If this gets worse, we’ll make him move in with us, whatever it takes.”

“Yeah,” Sam whispered, nodding firmly. “Thanks.”

Jessica withdrew her hands and looked at him earnestly. “We’re family, Sam. This is what family does – you’ll never have to thank me for it.”

“I think I do.”

There was a beat of silence where Sam tried to collect himself, before it was broken by her, saying, “How about we prepare lunch and then get Dean to join us?”

He nodded again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, there’ll be a few angsty chapters coming for you next but once that’s done, it’s all just going to be smut. A lot of smut. So bear with me <3 
> 
> I'm always happy about a kudo if you like what you're reading 😉


	2. December – Part One

Christmas turned out to be great. Sam got to see his brother happily smiling again and he felt so content having him around with Jess being there as well. They seemed to have a connection, to understand each other, and it filled Sam with joy to see them joking around, even if it was at his own expanse. He was glad they managed to cheer Dean up again.

After Sam had told Dean that he knew what was going on with him and Michael and that his depressions seemed to come back again, he’d gotten his brother to talk some more about it. Dean hadn’t been at all mad at Jessica for telling Sam those intimate things and had even been open enough to talk about the stuff he liked, his kinks, and what he and Michael have done so far. Although, sometimes, Sam still couldn’t believe that his big and cocky brother liked to submit to half-strangers for sexual gratification or even for the sake of his sanity – because apparently, as Jessica had said, it was more a primal instinct for him to do so than anything else. It just wasn’t how Sam knew him. Dean was almost like a father-figure to Sam, always the caring and loyal brother, protector and fighter. He liked to have a say in everything and he knew how to get what he wanted, always. He was a thick-head just like the rest of the family. Besides, Dean was sarcastic and brash and loud at best, Sam just couldn’t imagine him being dominated and taken away all that made him _Dean_ without fighting back. It was weird, imagining your own brother in bed, of course, but this was a whole new level. Sam didn’t judge Dean at all for the things he did to feel good, and he didn’t see him any differently after that. He was still his big brother and the strongest person Sam knew and he would never stop to look up to Dean.

Sam had always wanted to be like just him – strong, loving, a bright light in everyone’s life. He had wanted to make others smile as widely as Dean did with just his smile, he wanted to light the room with his laid-back and good-natured attitude – but more than anything, Sam wanted to be able to give Dean back his childhood. Now, when he thought back to those times, Sam asked himself how Dean had managed to be so strong and never let anyone see past his façade. Because behind that smile hid a sad story. While Dean had had to give up his own childhood in order to provide Sam one, he had also been coping with the loss of his mother all on his own – because Sam didn’t even remember her – and taking care of his younger brother in a way no ten-year-old ever should. Dean had had to deal with their alcoholic father, who had started getting more aggressive the more time passed, but he never let it show through. His smile had never faltered and he had never asked for help because this was who Sam’s brother was; the strongest person he knew. And he still wished today that he could’ve helped Dean when all those things came crashing down on him, when all this responsibility and baggage just got too much and weighed him down so much, that even keeping his smile up was too much for him. If Sam had known back then what depressions were, if he had known how to make them go away, maybe Dean could have had a little bit of childhood of his own…

Sometimes, he laid in his bed at night and thought about things that could’ve gone differently – better. He never really forgave himself for letting it get Dean, even though the elder Winchester repeatedly explained that, if he had wanted anyone to know, he would have sought help. Sometimes, Sam wondered if Dean hadn’t told him because he didn’t trust his little brother enough, and that made him hate himself even more…

So yes, Dean was still the same to Sam and the younger Winchester still looked up to him as if he was his role model because he always had been and always would be. And seeing the two most important people in his life happily interact with one another and clinking glasses to celebrate Christmas in front of their small tree, filled Sam with all kinds of domestic and delightful feelings. He could stay like this forever.

Dean had insisted that they all decorate the tree because that was what families did, and Jessica even got to place the star on top of it, which had always been Dean’s task – “I’m the older one, I get to do it, Sammy.” – and just _that_ made Sam tear up in his happiness because Dean never let anyone do this. It meant a lot and Jessica must have noticed that, too, because she kissed Dean’s cheek once and whispered an honest ‘thank you’ as if knowing that this was Dean’s way of saying ‘welcome to the family’.

Of course, these weren’t the first holidays to pass that Jessica and Sam knew each other, but it was the first time the two of them celebrated Christmas together and not apart, with their family. Sam was glad that Dean spent it with them; he wouldn’t have wanted to be apart from him during this time. It was after all kind of their ritual to spend it on the couch with a few beers and a burned and really crappy copy of _Die Hard_ playing on TV – because for Dean, it was a Christmas movie, no matter what others said. 

Which was what they were doing right now. Dean just started his second beer, moving his lips to everything they were saying because he knew every line by heart after all those years while Jessica complained about the movie and asked what about _Home Alone_ was so wrong that they didn’t choose this movie instead. Sam just laughed and took a swig of his by-now warm beer, because he had been holding it in his hand for more than an hour, while Dean started to explain how Sam and he came to this ritual.

It was actually a pretty funny, although sad story. They’ve had those nice neighbors back then, who allowed Dean to work in their garden in the summer to earn some money – which he had always spent on Sam – and that Christmas, Sam had been 12, John hadn’t paid for power and they had been sitting in the dark for the better part of two days. And because they obviously had nothing else to do, Dean showed Sam how to open beers with their teeth and after that, he just said, “Since you opened it, you gotta drink it, Sam.” It was the first time Sam had had a beer and it had been bitter and anything but refreshing because the fridge hadn’t been able to cool any longer. But it had been his first time drinking and it had been with his brother, even though they’d both been underage, and Sam had enjoyed it a lot because it made him feel more like an adult and somehow even a little savage, since John hadn’t been there and they’d done it behind his back with his supply of beer.

After a while, both of them had been cracking jokes like never before and laughing their asses off until their bellies hurt. And then they had discovered that their neighbors had switched off the lights and left the living room to go upstairs. Sam didn’t remember whose idea it was, but one of them had the brilliant thought to go there and watch some TV. So they had climbed into the house through the window, after they had waited a bit for them to fall asleep, and turned on the TV. And the first thing they had seen was the ‘Now I have a machine gun. Ho-ho-ho’-scene and so they had just lingered there, watching a movie in their neighbors’ house like criminals. He still remembered how exhilarating _that_ had been.

The only problem had just been that they had to turn the volume down to almost mute and therefore sat right in front of it to be able to hear what they were saying and after that, they had the worst headaches and their eyes were dry. Additionally, they hadn’t been able to watch it till the end because the neighbors’ cat had attacked Dean all of a sudden and it had made those aggressive noises while Dean went into a sneezing fit. They had left everything behind as they heard someone coming down the stairs, sprinting across their yard and hiding in their house right before they broke into laughter.

“The neighbors had always been that talkative and liked to babble your ear off about their cat, you know. So one day, when Sammy and I got home, the woman started chatting about how they were woken up at night to Christmas Eve and that, when her husband walked down the stairs to see if there were intruders in their house, he found the fuzzball in front of the TV.” Laughing, Dean continued, “And I thought we were totally busted, you know, but then she goes on,” he mocked her high voice and imitated a bad British accent, “‘What a troublesome kitten, must’ve jumped onto the remote and turned on the TV!’” Loud and joyful laughter followed after that and Jessica joined him while Sam was almost choking on his beer at the memory. It had been so close… if John would have found out, he would have ripped them a new one.

After that, Dean had gotten the movie burned into a DVD and the next Christmas, they had been able to watch it completely, again with a few stolen beers from their father, who had been AWOL _again_ when he shouldn’t have been. They hadn’t actually ever really celebrated Christmas like others. The two of them had a ‘no presents’ policy and only ever decorated the small tree in their garden with self-made decorations because John had almost never been around to buy one, and they didn’t have the money to get some fairy lights. Sam remembered being jealous and sad at once every time he had stared through the neighbors’ window to see their big, colorful, and bright Christmas tree.

But this was in the past and now Sam had his own family and his own bright and deliberately decorated tree behind his own TV playing the same old crappy copy of _Die Hard_.

Christmas Eve was boring and lonely even though Castiel spent it with his family. Jimmy was late for dinner and he hated having to talk to his mother and other brother alone without Jimmy's back-up.

He wondered how Dean spent Christmas, and then he wondered why he was asking himself that.

Castiel was halfway through his meal and an annoying conversation about the caviar Naomi bought to go with their sides when the doorbell rang. He was the first to jump from his seat and walk to the door, opening it to glare at his brother and point out, “You’re late. What took you so long?”

“Nice to see you, too, Cas.” He closed the door and took off his coat, hanging it on the rack and smiling widely. “Merry Christmas, by the way.”

Annoyed, Castiel said, “Merry Christmas,” and barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes at him.

Then Jimmy turned towards him and asked, “What did I miss?”

“Nothing important, truly. Mother just talked about the only thing she ever talks about – food and money. Because, apparently, she’s not interested in her children's lives.”

Grinning, Jimmy whispered, “Sounds like the usual.”

The two of them entered the dining room and Castiel took his seat again, while Jimmy placed down next to him and served himself his meal. Jimmy and Castiel had always been the only ones who got along together in this family. When they had turned five years old, their father had decided that he couldn’t stand Naomi for another twenty years of marriage and left. Their brother Raphael wasn’t interested in them the slightest and only came to those ‘festivities’ because he wanted their mother’s money and the other one had up and left years ago and never called again.

They had both given up on the thought that it was somehow their fault because it truly wasn’t. Jimmy and Castiel had never done anything to bring them apart, it was their own making, they merely didn’t want to see it as the truth. Jimmy and Cas’ relationship was very important to the two of them and they cared deeply for each other, which was why they lived close to one another to make meeting up together a lot easier for them. While they didn’t spend every single moment together, as most people assumed, they did share some friends and hobbies so they regularly met and kept each other updated on their lives. Castiel loved Jimmy as a brother and friend and it was the same the other way around, which was way more than they could ever say about the rest of the disaster that was their family.

There was nothing worth complaining about, though; they didn’t have a sad childhood, not at all. Jimmy and Castiel always got what they wanted and had everything they needed, and it wasn’t stuff like nice cars or other insignificant things. They had a mother and father, who’d done their jobs at raising them, they’d had warm meals every day, their own rooms, went to normal schools and worked normal jobs to pay for their college tuitions, even though their parents helped them pay those just a little bit. Jimmy and Cas had gone to different colleges, both in California – as far away as they could get from Naomi without leaving the state. She hadn’t been a bad mother, she was just cold and detached and didn’t show as much affection towards their children as other mothers did, or as much as they wished she had. But as soon as they had been old enough to care for themselves, Naomi showed less and less interest in what they were doing with their lives. She had always told them that it was their choice to do whatever they wanted with it and so the family only ever came together for Christmas holidays.

It was okay, really. Jimmy and Castiel had everything they needed. They both had their lives and were fairly content with them. The only thing Castiel was missing was someone he could share it with. _Someone like Dean…_

He didn’t know what was wrong with him – before he had met Dean, Castiel hadn’t felt empty even though he’d been just as alone then. So what had changed now?

When everyone finished their dinner, Jimmy and he left the table and walked into Cas’ old bedroom. It was still how he’d left it all those years ago when he moved into his small room on campus that he had shared with another student. Naomi kept every room of her children just the way they left it behind but Castiel didn’t know why. She never seemed to enter them anyway.

Jimmy threw himself onto the bed and sighed while Castiel grabbed the chair and sat down in it. “So, why were you late?” He gave his brother a questioning look and tilted his head, one eyebrow raised.

Another sigh left Jimmy as he sat up straight in bed and smiled. “You know, last night I met this girl at a bar and she was hot, so I went home with her. Let me tell you as much, our night was filled with a lot of action and so we were a bit exhausted and slept in a little too long. The drive here took a while as well, so… if that’s what you wanted to know.”

“Yes, although I don’t understand who would spend the night before Christmas Eve at a bar.”

“Shouldn’t the question be who doesn’t? Because there’re a lot lonely people out there.” He grinned and Cas merely rolled his eyes. They couldn’t be more different than that. Jimmy was a ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ type, he liked having company to make him feel good and he was very open with his sex life, whereas Cas had to have a deeper and emotional connection to his partners to even want to be intimate with them and when he had sex, it wasn’t the conventional type – he needed someone to submit to him, someone who would trust Castiel to take control.

Maybe that was what had changed. Castiel wanted to have sex with Dean the minute he’d seen the blonde. And he not only wanted to have sex with him, Cas wanted to make him his and he didn’t even know the man. Dean was a mystery to him, at best. Castiel knew he was a Sub, he knew he had a brother and that he didn’t live here and that he had problems with his Dom, which made Castiel feel all kinds of emotions – anger, sorrow, jealousy. He was angry at an unknown man for hurting and abusing a man he met once. He was sad that said handsome and sweet man was being treated like that and that he couldn’t be what Dean needed. And Castiel was jealous because that Michael got to meet him first and be Dean’s Dom, even though he was obviously not capable of handling and valuing such a responsibility. But that was all he knew about Dean.

Castiel wanted to get to know him better, he just didn’t know if he’d ever get the chance to do so and that made him sad. He didn’t have any idea why he felt like this and it started to freak him out. He felt like losing control over his own feelings and he had always been good at monitoring them.

“What are you thinking about?”

Jimmy ripped him out of his thoughts and Castiel blinked a few times as he realized that he was frowning slightly. “What?”

Shifting closer to the edge of the bed, Jimmy pointed a finger at him and explained, “You were totally zooming out on me there. What’s going through that big, sharp head of yours?”

“I’m not entirely sure myself…” Castiel frowned again.

“Well, let me help you with that. What is it?” He seemed to be pondering that for a bit, then he prompted, “Work?” Cas merely shook his head. “Okay… someone you met?” When he didn’t answer, Jimmy knew he hit a nerve and shifted even closer. “Who is it? Do I know him? Where’d you meet him?”

Castiel considered if he should tell Jimmy about Dean. Perhaps he would be helpful in this situation… Letting go of a long sigh, Cas admitted, “His name is Dean and I met him at the Christmas party of our firm.”

When Castiel didn’t go on, Jimmy lifted his hands in question and shrugged. “So what? You spent a hot night with him?”

“We intended to, but after we shared a few intense kisses and arrived at my place, he told me that he wouldn’t want to treat me like all his other hookups and so I took him to bed and held him while we simply talked.” Castiel had already forgotten what Dean tasted like and also how his lips felt against his own, couldn’t feel it like a memory of touch against his skin anymore and he hated it.

Jimmy’s expression was a mix between shock and surprise, his eyes wide and unbelieving. “You… you, Castiel Novak, took another guy to your place to have sex with him without knowing him longer than, what, an hour?”

“We drank together and talked for a while at the party until he asked me to dance and then we kissed and after that, I just wanted to have him in my bed, all for myself.”

“But, weren’t you like demisexual or something? How hot could a guy be that even you’d want to take him home after laying your eyes on him?”

“He was very handsome. But after I talked to him and especially after we kissed, I just felt like all that didn’t matter. It might be strange but I felt like I knew him and I was certain I could trust him. There was a connection and even if we were strangers to one another, it was deep.”

“So, what happened?”

He sighed, not sure how to answer this question. “I don’t know where it went wrong or what I did wrong. He told me that it’s nothing I have done but I can’t stop wondering if it was after all. In the morning, we woke up just as we fell asleep – Dean in my arms – and it felt good. I felt content and warm and the best thing about all that was that Dean told me he was a sexual Submissive because he wore a wristband that symbolized it and I asked him about it. He is all my inner desires and needs combined in one very handsome and amazing person and I just let him walk out on me because he freaked out… he thought it wasn’t anything special to me and he told me that, for him, it was and that it meant a lot. And I was just so overwhelmed by everything happening and confused about all those feelings and emotions because they were so much and very new to me and I just let him walk out without telling him that it meant a lot to me as well because I usually don’t share secrets and affection with strangers.” After he finished his sentence, Castiel let out a deep breath and realized that his eyes had welled up during his confession. “I just feel like I missed my shot at happiness with him and I don’t even know why, because I don’t really know him and I have never felt like this. It’s overwhelming and strange… What am I supposed to do now?”

There was a long beat of silence until Jimmy said, “Wow. That’s… a lot, Cas. It must have been a lot to feel like that and I’m sorry that he left because he sounds like a great guy if he made you feel like that and it seems like he showed a whole other side of himself by refusing to have sex so you won’t just be another hookup. You two truly shared a special night with each other and not everyone gets to experience something like an instant connection. It’s amazing and I’m happy for you.”

Rubbing his eyes, Castiel agreed, “Yes. But I don’t know what to do… I don’t have his number or address. I don’t even have a last name. I only know that he has a brother, with whom he spends the holidays with, and that he’ll leave again as soon as they’re over.”

“They’re not over yet, you still have about six days. We could ask some of your colleagues if they know someone with a brother called Dean…?”

Castiel sighed and nodded, feeling a little better now that he told someone about his inner turmoil. “Yeah, maybe.”

It was a bit past the time he would usually go home after work, but Jimmy was happy to have finished that huge back tattoo in just four sessions. He was on his way to his apartment and walking down the street. It was a sunny and busy day today and there were many people rushing past in all directions even during the holidays and so Jimmy didn’t have any time to prepare himself for what happened next or he could have reacted differently.

Among other pedestrians, there was a tall, blonde one heading straight towards his direction and approaching him in fast strides. If there hadn’t been so many people, Jimmy might have heard him say a name, but he didn’t. So he was completely caught off guard and by surprise when that certain someone came to stop in front of him, grabbed his face and kissed him senseless.

Under different circumstances, Jimmy would have kissed back immediately, but as it was, he just stood there and let the man kiss him until the stranger noticed that he didn’t reciprocate and stopped. He withdrew his hands from Jimmy’s face and took a step back to look at him. That close, Jimmy was able to see how handsome he was and it didn’t take a lot to put two and two together to know that this was Dean. He was indeed a very handsome man. Freckles covered the bridge of his nose and nice cheekbones, he was tall and broad and had this easy and bright smile that lit up his eyes, which were the most intense and iridescent green Jimmy had ever seen. And he merely gawked at the man in front of him – because what else was he supposed to do?

Coughing once, the man said, “Cas? I… I’m sorry, you probably don’t remember me anymore…” Jimmy watched in awe as his cheeks tinted red with embarrassment and he suddenly had the urge to touch it. “God, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking… I shouldn’t…” He scratched the back of his neck nervously and averted his eyes which made him even more beautiful. _What the hell?_ “It was outta line, I had no right to kiss you.”

Jimmy finally came to his senses again and smiled, resting a hand on the man’s arm. “We haven’t met before.”

Something in Dean’s expression darkened and for just a second, he looked hurt, but then his eyebrows drew together and he countered, “We met, at the Christmas party…”

“We really didn’t. I would have remembered a pretty face like that,” Jimmy grinned when he just looked more confused. Admittedly, it was a bit mean to play with him like that but having a twin could be truly entertaining sometimes.

“What–”

Jimmy decided to stop keeping Dean in the dark and cut off his sentence to explain. “You’re Dean, right?” When he received a hesitant nod, Jimmy went on, “You met my brother, Castiel.”

Dean’s eyebrows snapped even closer together and he looked so confused now, that Jimmy had to chuckle. “You’re not taking a piss out of me, are you? ‘Cause I feel like you just made that up to mess around with me for leaving you behind like that… and I know that was shitty, I–”

“Dean, I’m not pretending. Cas and I are twins. He told me about you.”

Frowning, Dean asked, “That would explain why you know my name but not why you knew it was _me_ …”

“Well, it doesn’t happen very often that I get kissed by a handsome stranger that thinks I’m my twin, so I kinda figured out that you had to be Dean. Plus, the description matched.”

Dean chuckled beautifully and smiled. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.”

Jimmy returned his smile, saying, “If I get kissed like that, you’re always welcome to think that I’m Cas, you know.” At that, Dean laughed and it was a bright and delightful sound that warmed something deep inside Jimmy. He only noticed then that they were still occupying the pavement and he took Dean’s hand to lead him to the side of the street where they were undisturbed.

“So, you’re really twins?”

Grinning, Jimmy nodded and agreed, “We really are. If you want to see proof, I have tattoos that he doesn’t… at least not that I know of.”

He laughed once more and shook his head with a smile. “I believe you. Although it’s cool to meet twins. I’ve never known any.”

“Now you do.” Jimmy’s smile got wider at Dean’s expression. His dimples showed when he smiled like that and it was breathtaking. He had never seen a more stunning face than his.

They stood close to each other and there was a moment of silence between them where only their smiles met one another and Jimmy suddenly realized that he was still having a hold on Dean’s hand when he stroked his thumb. The small gesture seemed too intimate and he cleared his throat, letting go of Dean’s warm hand. “Would you like to grab a coffee?”

“Is there a place that serves coffee and burgers? I’d really like to have one right now.”

“Of course.” Dean’s happy smile was almost blinding and it all made sense then. Why Cas went against everything that made him Castiel for one person he only met for a night. Jimmy understood why Cas felt the way he did and it was weird. Truly. But also wonderful and Jimmy suddenly around himself wanting to spend the whole day with him. “I know a place that’s not far from here that serves excellent burgers.”

“Awesome.”

 _Yeah,_ Jimmy was gone on him just like Cas and he didn’t have the slightest idea how the Hell that was even possible. It sounded like the cheesiest romcom when he thought about it now.

He took Dean to a place he had been to a lot before. Jimmy really liked the atmosphere there and it was never as crowded as the fancier places so he could enjoy his coffee or meal. Besides, it was right around the corner of his apartment so he usually went there on weekends in the morning to get himself some breakfast, and then he would go to the roadhouse to eat dinner or just order take-out because he was not at all good at making his own dinner and his fridge was only filled with beer and stuff that didn’t make a full meal. Jimmy had to admit that he was a terrible cook, Cas on the other hand, always liked to prepare nice meals and they were tasty every time, though a bit too healthy for Jimmy’s liking.

It would have been a lie if he said that he didn’t wonder if Dean knew his way around a stove, he sure looked like it. And the fact that the blonde was craving a burger right now was just perfect because it meant he wasn’t strictly into leafy greens or a vegan. That wouldn’t have gone well with Jimmy – not that he didn’t like those people or didn’t understand their intentions. That was not it; he really respected their choice and supported it. The problem was just that Jimmy had tried to live without meat for all of two weeks and even though he knew he should, he just couldn’t make it work without.

Dean chose a spot in a far corner of the place and took a seat, Jimmy sitting down right in front of him. Since they have only met a few minutes ago, it was still barely possible for Jimmy to take his eyes off of Dean because the man was sex on legs. Truly, he was Jimmy’s every wet-dream come true and how he was able to just sit there and not drool all over him, let alone not taking him home, tearing his clothes off and throwing him into his bed to ravish him, was a mystery to Jimmy. Again, he felt sympathy and understanding for Castiel.

And the best thing was the way Dean acted. His posture was stiff, there was still a blush covering his beautiful face and ears, he picked at strands of his jeans nervously and only ever dared to look at Jimmy when he thought he wouldn’t notice. It was an even bigger mystery to Jimmy how a man could be this attractive but self-conscious at the same time. It was adorable and it fascinated him even more, although he thought that this wasn’t Dean’s usual behavior. Maybe it was the fact that he had met Jimmy's twin before and now stared into the same eyes, though they weren’t entirely the same ones.

“Hey, have you two decided on anything yet?”

As the waitress spoke, Jimmy noticed how long they’ve been sitting there without saying anything to each other and he realized he’s been smiling this whole time when he turned his head to look at her. “Oh, yes. Thank you, I’d like a coffee, black, and a piece of your pie of the day.”

His gaze fell upon Dean again as the waitress wrote his order down and he watched as the blonde lifted his eyes to make his order. “Uh, I’ll have the double beef burger with fries and…” His eyes flicked down onto the menu in front of him and Jimmy found himself fascinated by those long lashes covering his cheeks. “A slice of the pie, too.”

A brief pause where she wrote on her paper again, and then she met their gazes and asked, “Would that be all?”

With a sweet smile, – which Jimmy was certain had helped him woo girls in the past before – Dean said, “Yes, thank you,” and put down the menu.

The waitress returned his smile and made to walk away, leaving them alone again. Jimmy’s own smile widened into a grin and he raised his eyebrows. “Double beef?”

Dean chuckled once in amusement and defended, “Yeah, I’m hungry.”

“It’s like 3.40 pm, haven’t you had something to eat today?” It wasn’t accusatory, just teasing.

An adorable snort left Dean and he propped up his elbows on the table to be closer to Jimmy. “You know, ever since my brother met his girlfriend, all they allow themselves to eat are healthy vegetarian meals and uncooked veggies and stuff. It’s hell. I just needed some real food right now. Jess is amazing, but I just can’t live on rabbit food, I gotta have at least some nice meat on my plate.”

Laughing, Jimmy answered, “Yeah, I totally get that. Cas likes to cook a little healthier but there’s always some meat for me, you know, so it’s alright. And hey, I can’t really complain because I’m a lousy cook, I can’t even manage an omelet without burning it. But all those low carb meals just scare me.” 

Now Dean was the one laughing and the sound was like music to Jimmy’s ears. “Man, I was so relieved that I got to cook for Christmas Eve, they even made an exception for me and allowed me to cook them a fantastic stuffed turkey and they liked it.”

He merely smiled and stared at Dean for a moment, before asking, “So, you had a nice day?”

“Yeah, I did. First time we spent it with Jess, but she still allowed us to do this ritual of ours.”

Just then, the waitress came back with Jimmy’s coffee and their pies and set down the plates in front of them. They thanked her before she left and Jimmy met Dean’s eyes again. “What would that be?”

“Oh… we watch _Die Hard_ every year and drink a few beers. We know every freaking line by heart by now.”

When Dean averted his eyes to let his mind linger at the memory, Jimmy was able to admire that tiny but meaningful smile on his face. It was just a tilt of the corner of his lip but it was so sweet, he wanted to taste it. The moment was broken when Dean met his eyes again and cleared his throat. If he caught Jimmy staring, then he didn’t say anything.

“ _Die Hard,_ huh? You’re really fascinating, Dean. I like your taste. And it sounds like a nice ritual.” He took a sip of his coffee to see if it was too hot but found it ready to drink.

“How about you? Did you have a nice Christmas? I bet you and Cas have some rituals, too?”

Chuckling, he answered, “Well, if you count spending the day with a brother that you’ve never really had any connection to and a mother who doesn’t care about you as a Christmas ritual, I guess that would be it.”

“Man, that sucks, I’m sorry.”

“You couldn’t have known. And it’s okay. Cas and I have each other and that has always been enough. And as for Christmas, we just try to enjoy the free food and zone out of the conversation at the table. After that, we usually just hide away in our rooms until they call it a night and we can drive home again.”

“I know a few things about broken families, too. I’d say cheers to that, but I don’t have a drink…” Jimmy just laughed even though it was a bitter topic. He guessed it was appropriate to do in order to keep the mood up and it seemed like the right thing because Dean grinned and watched his food bring delivered as the waitress approached them with the plate in her hand and a smile on her face. She set it down in front of him and Dean thanked her with a wink that almost had Jimmy choking on his coffee.

The way Dean smiled at him cockily told Jimmy just how much the blonde knew what he was doing and he felt a sudden rush of heat down his body. He coughed to hide his arousal and took another sip of his coffee. Now he wished he had ordered a cold soda. Jimmy wasn’t typically like that when it came to people he felt attracted to, he would be relaxed and open and he would make sure the other caught his attraction towards them, but it was entirely different with Dean. At first, there was this storm of a man, kissing him like no one else before – and, God, he was an amazing kisser and Jimmy didn’t even get the chance to return and deepen it – and then he got all small and shy. But there was nothing of that now. The shyness and stiff posture were gone and now, there was this flirt sitting in front of him and Jimmy was just overwhelmed. He thought that this might be who Dean was. This was how Dean acted in front of everyone, who Dean chose to be in public. But, thanks to Cas, Jimmy knew better than that and realized that, while he really liked this Dean, the one he saw before all nervous and shy was actually the true Dean. Maybe not true, but closer to his submissive side, even though that was just sexual.

As soon as the waitress was gone, Dean grabbed his burger and took the most impressive bite out of it that Jimmy had ever seen anyone take and moaned as the taste of the double beef filled his mouth and the flavors exploded his tastebuds.

Dean closed his eyes as he chewed and it was all the invitation Jimmy needed to stare at him. He could see Dean savoring his burger and as he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbed, when he took another generous bite, his eyelids fluttered and another tiny moan that only they could hear escaped his throat. Heat was pooling low in Jimmy’s gut now and he felt his pants growing tighter as the sight in front of him did nothing to tame down his excitement. He was glad they were sitting so that the table hid his crotch from Dean’s eyes. The blush, though, Jimmy couldn’t hide.

“God, yes.” Dean swallowed and met Jimmy’s eyes. “Three days without this. Never again…” He went back to devouring his burger again and Jimmy wished he could devour Dean right then. This man was just perfect. How could anyone look that hot while eating a greasy burger? He’d have Dean shoved against a wall in the alley by now if it wasn’t for Cas. Why did he get to meet him first?

His coffee was almost cold and unpalatable by the time Dean finished off his burger and started munching his fries. His hands were big and he had long, deft fingers that looked just beautiful. Every time he brought a fry up to his mouth, Jimmy wished he was one of his fingers so he could be that close to Dean’s plump, pink lips again. This time he wouldn’t freeze. “You haven’t touched your pie yet, anything wrong with it?”

Shaking himself out of his dirty thoughts, Jimmy smiled and answered, “I thought I’d wait so we could eat it together. The pies are amazing here.”

“Yeah?” He nodded once and Dean’s smile widened. “I love pies.”

_God, he’s so cute._

“You seem to be passionate about food in general. I mean, you like to cook and eat and talk about it.”

Dean’s expression sobered a bit and he averted his eyes. “Sorry, I know it can be annoying.”

“No!” When Dean looked up at him again, Jimmy continued, “I think it’s great, you know, to have something to be passionate about.” Another one of Dean’s shy smiles returned to his face and it was extremely endearing. “What else do you like?”

Chewing on a fry, Dean seemed to be thinking about that for a while. “Hmmm… I, uh, guess I like movies.”

When Dean didn’t go on, Jimmy urged, “What kind?”

“Old westerns, action movies, some superhero stuff. But most of all old western movies. Yeah. When I was young I wished to have grown up during this time, you know. I had this cowboy hat and really nice boots. Grew out of them eventually.” He took another fry and Jimmy just grinned, ready to listen to whatever else Dean had to tell. “Oh, of course! My Baby!”

If Jimmy sputtered, no one noticed. “You have a child?”

“What?” Dean stared at him with big, surprised eyes, then screwed his brows together in thought, as if pondering if he really did or did not have children, and started laughing all of a sudden. “No!” It was loud and joyous and if other people were staring, Jimmy didn’t care. “No, no. God, no. No children. I promise. My car, it’s a ‘67 Chevy Impala and I call her Baby. She’s been in the family for decades and I got her from dad.” He started munching his fry with a chuckle while Jimmy laughed at his burst of shock. “Have been keeping her in perfect condition ever since.”

“Oh, wow. You’re a classic one. I like that. If I’d drive a car myself, I’d probably choose a Jaguar E-Type or a Plymouth Fury, you know, the one Arnie drives in _Christine._ ”

Nodding, Dean said, smiling, “Yeah, those are nice classics.” There was this wonderful twinkle in Dean’s eyes as he talked about cars and it was breathtaking. “Why don’t you drive a car?”

“I walk almost everywhere I go because my work and friends are all within walking distance. If not, I usually just take a cab.” Dean merely made an expression and shrugged his shoulder, eating the last fry. “What?”

“Huh?”

“The shrug?”

“Oh,” he crossed his arms on the table in front of him and leaned in closer, “just thinking that it must get really expensive to go out to eat every day and catch a ride whenever needed.”

If Dean weren’t looking at him with those honest eyes and thoughtful expression, Jimmy would have thought that it had been an accusation. But it was truly only curiosity. “Well, as a tattoo artist I make good money, so that’s really not what I pay attention to. Of course, I wouldn’t go out to eat expensive sushi every night, but a burger here and casserole there is okay with me.”

“You’re a tattoo artist?” Jimmy nodded with a smile. “That’s awesome. How come you’re like the complete opposite of your twin? I mean, accountant and tattooist…”

“We both went to college here in Cali, but during the second semester I just didn’t have any motivation left and I never really wanted to study MIT anyway because it was just a means to get away from our mother, so I dropped out and got into art school, then got trained to be a tattooist. Cas just stuck to his plan, got his degree, and accepted into a nice firm. It’s what he wanted and I’m happy he got it. But I’m happy with what I’m doing.”

Dean gave him a warm smile and took the fork, sliding the plate with his slice of pie closer to himself. “That’s cool. I’ve always wanted to get a tat, but I never found someone I trusted enough to leave their work on my skin forever, you know.”

Jimmy nodded in understanding and took his fork as well, trying to stop thinking about leaving his mark on Dean for the rest of his life. It was a deep and primal desire, almost animalistic, and he had no idea where the thought even came from.

“I get that. But if you’d want to have someone professional do the job, you could come by at the shop I work at. You’ll find a lot of talented people there.”

Without any reason, Dean started to blush anew and he nodded his head, then cleared his throat and poked his fork into the pie to have a forkful of it. And again, as his lips closed around the fork, Dean’s eyes fluttered shut and a moan came out of him as bliss softened his features. Jimmy didn’t understand why it was so stunning, he’d never seen someone enjoy his food this much. Just thinking about what sounds or facial expressions Dean would do while Jimmy had him panting and bared underneath him while rocking into his taut body reminded him of the half-mast problem in his pants.

To distract him from those pictures, Jimmy took a bit of his pie himself and smiled. “It’s good, heh?”

Dean couldn’t speak because his mouth was stuffed with dessert but he grinned from ear to ear and nodded. He was the first one to finish it and Jimmy managed to eat his pie without looking at Dean, which was good because it gave his cock the chance to calm down again. When they were done with it, they slid their plates into the middle of the table so that they had enough space to put their elbows on the edge of it and lean closer together. “That was amazing.”

“Told you.”

Laughing, Dean pointed with a finger at Jimmy’s arm and asked, “Do you have any tattoos yourself?”

Jimmy smiled because Dean blushed again and that explained why he did before. He was embarrassed to ask about this. “Actually, yes, I do. I have a very big tattoo that covers half of my back and my arms to the elbows.”

Dean’s eyes widened in fascination. “Really? How long did it take?”

“A few months, because there were a lot of sessions and healing in between those. I got it done two years ago.”

“What is it?”

“Wings.” If it was possible, Dean’s eyes would have widened even more. Chuckling, Jimmy asked, “What would you like to get?”

“Uhm, it’s just something small, you know. I want it to go on my chest. Like on one pec.” Dean was self-conscious all of a sudden once more and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, not meeting Jimmy's eyes. He didn’t know why he did it, maybe he wanted to know if it would be a bad idea or he wanted to have approval, but it tugged at Jimmy’s heart and that was something he had never felt before.

“If you’d like, I could…” Somehow he wanted Dean to say yes. “I could make it. If you trust me… I could put something definite on your skin.” He wanted Dean to trust him and he wanted nothing more than for the blonde to walk around with his tattoo on his chest. And, of course, Jimmy wanted to see his bare chest.

Dean’s blush deepened and he met his eyes carefully. “You’d do that?”

“Sure, it’s what I do professionally. I can show you some of my works first, of course, so you’d know for sure if you’d want this or not. And you wouldn’t have to spend a few hours with some stranger half-naked.”

Back to his more cocky self, Dean chuckled and crossed his arms in front of his chest, leaning back in his chair. “What makes you think I’d have a problem being half-naked in front of strangers?”

Right, how could Jimmy have forgotten about Dean being a sexual submissive? Even if it was hard to imagine, one thing he knew about being a Sub, was that being naked around Doms, sometimes ones you didn’t know, was something they really shouldn’t have a problem with and since Dean was a gorgeous man, he shouldn’t have a problem with modesty. “Just saying. You’d already know me and it wouldn't be awkward.”

“Is it usually awkward?”

“Sometimes, people just run out of things to talk about and you end up having uncomfortable small talk.”

“It’s hard to imagine you talking about the weather.” Dean laughed. “Well, I’ll think about it.” He gave Jimmy a promising and small smile.

“I can give you my number if you’ve decided. And you could also send me the motive.” He said it suggestively but also cautiously as not to chase Dean away with his over-enthusiasm.

“Yeah. Okay.” A tiny smile graced his lips as he took the napkin and looked at him. “You have a pen?” Jimmy was surprised that Dean wanted to do this the old fashioned way instead of just typing it directly into his cell, but nodded and reached into his bag and handed him a ballpoint pen he carried around everywhere in case he needed to bring something down on paper. When Dean opened the cap and set the lead down on the napkin, Jimmy gave him his number. He watched Dean write the numbers down, the pen looking delicate in his hand, and then he scribbled Jimmy’s name underneath in neat, bold letters with a slight right slant. On the other side of the napkin, Dean wrote down another number and ripped the sides apart, handing Jimmy the pen and number.

Dean must have seen his confused expression because he explained, “I’ll text you, I promise. And, talking about texting, I want you to give this to Cas. I think I owe him an apology and I really don’t want things to be done between us. I’d like to have a chance to get to know him and before I met you, I was sure I’d never get it because I don’t really know Cas, just where he works. And even if he took me to his place that night, I can’t, for the life of me, remember where it was…” He rubbed his neck again. “Anyway, it would be nice of you to give it to him, if he even wants it.”

“Of course.” He took the number and pen and put them in his bag.

“Thanks.”

“Dean?” They locked eyes and Jimmy went on, “Cas wants it, believe me. He told me all about you and the night you spent together.” Sitting up straighter and leaning closer to Dean, he said, “I wouldn’t believe it at first, because Cas is demisexual and he had never done that before – couldn’t. Sexual attraction doesn’t work that way with him.” Dean looked simultaneously confused and surprised by this admission. “Instant connection was never in the cards for him until he met you, so, of course, he’d been crazy about not knowing how to get in touch with you again. You changed a few things, Dean.”

There was an audible gulp and Dean stared at his hands with a carefully guarded expression.

“And the fact that you’re a Sub just makes it all the better. He’s been looking for someone like you and then you just stumble into his life and turn his whole world upside down. And I have to say I understand him, Dean.” The blonde was blinking pretty often and still not meeting his gaze. He seemed even more nervous now. “You know, we’re not that different from one another. Actually, we have a lot more in common than you think, Dean. Our taste in men, for example, would prove to be quite similar. Cas and I both take a fancy in one handsome green-eyed we barely know, even though it’s against what we thought possible.” He didn’t know if he was imagining things, but Jimmy had the feeling that Dean was breathing faster now. “You're something really special, Dean. I think I feel the same instant connection to you that Cas felt and I know it’s weird, but…” He didn’t know how to go on – it was weird.

“I… I, uh, don’t…” When Jimmy put a hand above Dean’s across the table, the blonde lifted his head and stared into his eyes. His own ones were a bit glassy and it made them seem so vibrant and green and it threw Jimmy off guard, so much so that he gasped with a sudden rush of feelings. “How?”

With a small but hopefully reassuring smile, Jimmy said, “I’m not sure myself. But I don’t want you to never call again as much as Cas does. So please, don’t be weirded out by what I said. I don’t want to send you running. It would truly be a loss.”

Dean’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly. He looked so unsure of what to say, his eyes searching the room as if it would hold an answer, so when he opened his mouth but nothing came out, Jimmy said, “You don’t have to say anything. Just, promise that, when Cas calls, you won’t hang up on him immediately because I freaked you out.”

“I’m…” He met his eyes again. “I’m not freaked out, just… overwhelmed. I’ve never met anyone as nice as you but now I met two at once and you’re twins…”

“Yeah…” There was a beat of silence until Jimmy couldn’t help but ask, “I know it’s none of my business, but… was that what happened with Cas? Did you leave because you were overwhelmed?”

A nervous laugh left Dean and he looked torn. “You could say that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay… ‘s not your fault anyway. Why would you apologize?”

“I don’t know…”

Suddenly, the waitress was back and Jimmy realized his hand still rested above Dean’s, so he withdrew and smiled at her.

“Can I bring you anything else?”

“No, thank you.” She nodded and passed by to ask the other guests if everything was to their contentment. When Jimmy looked back at Dean, the blonde was slowly standing up and searching his pockets for money. He put down twenty dollars and Jimmy got the cue, so he stood too, fishing his wallet out of his bag and adding ten dollars to it. Dean waited for him to grab his things and when he gave him a small smile, the blonde started walking out of the café-slash-diner. He stopped at the street and turned around to face Jimmy.

“Thank you. It was really nice to spend time with you, Jimmy.” His freckles stood out with the sunlight falling on his face and he looked stunning.

“Yes, it was. I’d like to do so again.”

There was a nod and a smile, then Dean turned back around and took a step forward. Before he could start to walk away, though, he spun around again and said, “And, thanks… for not kissing me back.”

For a moment, Jimmy was confused because he didn’t know what he was talking about, but then he remembered the kiss Dean gave him in the belief he was Cas and smiled. “Any time… why?”

“Because then this would have been awkward now.”

“Wha–” Jimmy didn’t get to word his question, because suddenly there were Dean’s soft and perfect lips pressed directly against his own and all rational thought left his mind. He grabbed Dean’s face with both hands and moved his lips against his, taking Dean’s bottom lip between his own and making him open his mouth for Jimmy, who took the opportunity to delve into the hot wetness with his tongue to discover Dean’s taste and the feel of his tongue against his own. At the first slide, Dean moaned slightly and Jimmy chased his tongue to elicit more sounds like these. And he thought the kiss Dean gave him was fantastic before… compared to it, this here was the most wonderful thing Jimmy had ever done. But then it was over all too soon as they had to part in order to take a few breaths and Dean bit his shiny lip with a content smile. Jimmy couldn’t help but look at it. He felt his arousal coming back and then Dean pecked his mouth once, only lingering for a moment, before turning around and walking away, leaving behind a completely flustered and bewildered Jimmy.

By the time Jimmy arrived at Cas’ door, he felt guilty and bad. It wasn’t like he regretted having spent the time with Dean and he definitely wasn’t sorry about the kiss they shared, but he felt bad about doing it. The fact was that Dean and Cas met first, which meant that his brother had the right to be disappointed in him for betraying him like that. And Jimmy really didn’t want Cas to hate him.

So he was a little more than just nervous when he knocked at his door and waited for Cas to open it. Jimmy waited a few minutes before he heard the lock being opened and then his brother stood right in front of him with a questioning look. “Hey…” His head was slightly tilted and he stepped aside to let Jimmy in, who reached into his bag to take out the number.

“Hey. What are you doing here? Did something happen?”

Cas sounded genuinely concerned while he closed the door and Jimmy turned with a nervous expression. “No. It’s quite the opposite, actually.” He fiddled with the napkin before handing it to Cas, who stared at it with confusion. “I met Dean today.”

When Jimmy lifted his head to look at Cas, his eyes were big and there was a tiny, hopeful smile on his face. “Oh.”

“Yeah. He thought I was you and I told him we’re twins, then we had a coffee and pie. Well, he actually got a burger and fries and pie as dessert, but… anyway, he wanted me to give you his number. He sounded truly regretful at having left you like this.” Castiel’s eyes turned sincere and his smile got braver as he reached for the napkin and held it in his hands like it was the most precious thing. He stared at the number written on it and sighed. 

“Thank you.”

“Of course. He’s amazing, Cas.” At that, Castiel met his eyes again and a slight frown came up to his features. “We talked and it was nice. I’ve never wanted to just be like that with someone else without having the prospect of sleeping with them… he’s cocky but shy at once and that’s just so fascinating.”

“Yes. He is.” Now his brows were knitted together as he looked at Jimmy suspiciously.

“Please don’t be mad.” He met Cas’ eyes with his own pleading ones. “I really want you to have a shot with him. But we kissed before he left and I… I don’t know. Want more?” He was afraid of Cas’ reaction because it truly was a shitty thing of him to do. “I’m being honest with you, okay? I like him. Not just because I think he’d be great in bed, I like his humor and I like the person he is. And I never felt like that.”

“Jimmy…” Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breath, probably trying to stay calm. “So what? You don’t want me to call him? Is that it? You like him and decide that you want to get to know him, not me?”

“No. No, it’s not like that. I want this for you, Cas. You’d be perfect for one another, I could never deny you this. And I don’t even have the right to, because you met him first. I know it’s not fair.” This whole situation was weird. How did it happen that they ended up liking the same guy?

“Then what are you saying, Jimmy? Because I know what you’re talking about but as much as I love you, I won’t give this up because of you. I was miserable because I thought I missed my chance, but I got a second one and I will not waste it. Dean changed things that I didn’t think possible and if he can make me feel like this, I’d be a fool not to go after him.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared at Jimmy with challenging eyes.

“We’re brothers, Cas. You know I only ever want what’s best for you and I know that it’s Dean, but you should also know that as much as Dean changed things for you, he changed things for me. I’ve never dated in my whole life and today, I sat in a café and had a real conversation with an amazing man. I don’t _not_ want to do this again.” His voice got more desperate, even though he didn’t know what he was asking for.

There was a moment of silence, then, “So you want to ask me to share him with you?”

Jimmy’s eyes opened in shock and he stared at Cas with surprise. “What?” _Did he?_ When he thought about it like this, he didn’t know what could go wrong with it. Cas and Jimmy both would get Dean and that was what they wanted, right?

“You want him and I want him, you want me to have him and I’d be the biggest jerk on earth if I’d keep you from him. And, unless you want to let him go completely so that none of us gets him, then that would be the only conclusion.” Cas looked deep in thoughts and he was gripping the napkin in his right hand as if it would vanish as soon as he let it go. And Jimmy knew he couldn’t be an ass about this and take Dean away from him.

So, because that was the only thing that made him, and seemingly Cas, feel better right now, Jimmy said, “Why not? We could date him both. It’s just getting to know him. It would be like having an equal friend we go out with.”

Cas scoffed, rubbing a brow furiously. “This is crazy. We’re talking about Dean here, not just someone. And we can’t make a decision like that without him.” 

“I know.” His voice was small when he answered. This was his fault… He was a selfish jerk but he just couldn’t stop.

Quietly, Cas said, “We should sleep about it, Jimmy,” as if not quite wanting to let go of this idea.

Jimmy nodded and looked at his brother. “Do you hate me now?” Because he didn’t want to see the answer in Castiel’s face, Jimmy lowered his eyes and waited. But instead of a confirmation, there was a hand on his shoulder and big blue eyes staring back at him.

“Of course, not, Jimmy. I understand fully how you feel… because Dean is one of a kind and he managed to charm us both. He’s an honest and open-minded, gorgeous man and I know that it’s impossible to stay away from him especially after he kissed you.”

He nodded again and asked, “Are you gonna call him?”

“Yes, I will.” Castiel’s smile was wide and happy and it made Jimmy feel a bit better.

“Good.”

He’s been tossing and turning in his bed for hours now, sleep just wouldn’t come. The apartment was quiet, Jessica had gone home for the night and Sam was asleep. The only thing Dean heard were some cars driving by time and time again.

Groaning in frustration, Dean turned onto his back and kicked away the sheets like a petulant child, but he was hot and annoyed. He stared at the white ceiling and willed it to come down on him but it didn’t – just stayed there and mocked him. His hands were clenched into fists as he tried to remember why he wasn’t able to sleep but he came up with nothing.

He had met Jimmy and the man had been just as nice as Cas. How did Dean get so lucky? He had never met anyone that sweet and now he suddenly met two at the same time. _Twins!_ What was he supposed to think of that? Maybe this was why he couldn’t sleep – his mind wasn’t calm enough. God, he hated that. He hated whenever his thoughts got so loud that they kept him from sleeping or doing anything else. That was why he started to submit. It helped him let go, made his mind and the voice inside his head calm down. When someone else took the reins and gave him orders for what to do, he could just turn it off and do whatever his Dom wanted. He didn’t have to use his brain to decide what to do anymore, because someone else did that for him. Indulging in scenes like that sated his needs and balanced him with the Dom he was playing with – at least that was what it originally did.

That was also what Dean had explained to Sam when he asked why he was into BDSM. He had been scared that Dean needed the pain for whatever reason his brain thought of but he told Sam that it was his mind that he could turn off only during scenes and that he needed those moments of clarity and peace to stay sane. Sam, of course, had understood what he meant and so Dean left it there. He didn’t have to tell him that a bit extra pain was always welcome, it would’ve only worried him.

He turned to his side and stared at the wall. Dean really wanted to have a scene right now. Even if Michael wasn’t the best Dom, he still knew how to make Dean let go and he so desperately needed that. He’d beg for a spanking if Michael was here, he’d get down on his knees and do anything…

A quiet buzzing sound broke him out of his thoughts and he looked around for his phone, finding it on the nightstand with a bright blue screen illuminating the room. He checked the time first – 1.05 am – and then the caller ID, which was apparently an unknown number. “Hello?”

There was a short pause, then, “Dean… you picked up.” Suddenly all Dean’s problems were forgotten and there was nothing else in the world except for them. He smiled at the way Castiel – he was pretty sure it was Cas and not Jimmy, for whatever reason – said his name, like a sigh. As if he was relieved to hear his voice.

“Cas,” he really hoped it was Cas now as he rubbed his eyes and sat up straight in bed, the sheets rumpling loudly. “You called.”

“Yes. Did I wake you?” Thank God, he’d assumed right...

“Nah. Couldn’t sleep. You?”

“Me neither.” His voice was soft and quiet.

Another beat of silence and Dean mustered all his strength to say the next words. “Cas, that morning… I’m sorry. I got overwhelmed and confused and I– you know, I’m not good with feelings. You…” He sighed. “You made me feel safe and free and I didn’t know how that could even be because we were practical strangers. And then I realized that I am me, and you’re you and I just lost it.”

The silence that followed stretched so long, that Dean had to check if sometime during his speech, Castiel had just hung up. But he was still there.

“Dean… it’s alright. I apologize if I said something that was too much, I tend to be that sometimes – so I’ve heard people say. It wasn’t my intention to drive you away. You were just too good to be true and I wanted…” He let out a long, suffering breath and then, “What do you mean ‘I’m me and you’re you’?”

“Cas, you’re a great guy. All caring and loving and honest. And you’re a Dom, which is fucking awesome. And you were the sweetest guy I’ve ever met and I… I’m just some beat-up jerk, incapable of giving that back. I’m no relationship material and that’s not what you deserve.” He changed the side of the ear and pressed the cell against his left one.

“Don’t you think I have to decide that, Dean? You seem to have a problem to value yourself. But that doesn’t mean that others can’t. You may not see any beauty in yourself, but I do. And I got to see inside you, Dean. You opened up to me and I liked what I discovered. You have a pure and righteous soul and one look into your eyes told me everything I needed to know if I wanted you or not. And I do. I want you, Dean.”

Dean was never that glad he was on the other side of the line right now and that Cas couldn’t see him right now because his eyes welled up like the sap he was and he sniffed once. “Cas… I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“How can you be so sure you will? What makes you think that I’ll change my mind as soon as I get to know the real you? I’ve already heard what this Dean is like, he was shy and uncertain as he talked about intimate things in a stranger’s bed with their arms around him. Whatever it is that makes you sure you’ll scare me away… tell me. Or tell me you didn’t feel the same connection to me. Dean, just say what’s going on in that head of yours, because I don’t understand. You gave me this number so I’d have a second chance and I don’t think you had any other purpose for it. What are you so afraid of, Dean, that you keep changing your mind?”

“You!” It came out loud and faster than Dean had anticipated.

“What?”

“You, Cas. I’m afraid of you. I’m afraid to start something with you, because I know I’ll get lost in it. I’ll be so deep in, that I know I won’t make it out in all pieces when it goes to crap – when it ends all of a sudden. I’d never recover from it because this would be the best thing that ever happened to me and if it’d be taken away from me again, I’d drop. Cas, I wouldn’t be able to make it because I’m weak and broken.” Somewhere along the lines, Dean broke out in tears and now his voice trembled awfully.

“Dean–”

“I’m not good at this, Cas. I don’t deserve you or Jimmy. I don’t know why you think I’d be worth a shot and I’m sorry you met me. And I don’t know why I’m this fucked up, but I want it. I want it so bad, Cas. I had to give you my number. I just… I-I couldn’t not… I…” His breathing quickened and he wasn’t seeing clearly anymore. Dean didn’t know what was going on but he felt like he was suffocating even though he took in breath after breath like a dying fish…

Castiel stood, one hand holding his phone to his ear, the other tugging at his hair in worry. Dean was having a freaking panic attack and he wasn’t there to help. It was all his fault. Why did he have to keep overwhelming Dean? He had never been this way, he always kept his distance because he needed time and now he was so clingy and desperate that he made Dean go into a panic and he hated himself for it. His eyes stung with tears and his hands trembled.

“Dean?” There was no answer, only harsh and painful-sounding breathing. “Dean? Dean, listen to me. You’re having a panic attack. Did you ever have one before? Just make a sound if yes.” Cas waited for a moment and listened as Dean tried to calm himself down but failed.

“I… I don’t…” He was cut off by a fit of panic breathing again and Cas closed his eyes in distress. “Maybe…” It was barely a whisper but Cas got it anyway and it was better than nothing because it helped him handle the situation.

“Okay, just listen to me now, Dean. You can do this. Stop trying to take in breaths or you’ll faint with the effort. Just listen to my voice. Concentrate on it and blend out everything else. Follow my voice, nothing else.” He tried to think of anything to say and started pacing up and down the space between wall and door in front of his bed, coming up with a story he had only ever told Jimmy. “You know, before I knew I was gay and demisexual, I tried to like girls. Everyone always told me that that’s how it should be and I wanted to be normal. So, when I was 18, all my friends had been having sex for years and they constantly asked if something was wrong with me. I felt pressured to do something about it and I knew this girl so I asked her out.” He stopped to check in on Dean’s breathing. It was still no better. “We ended up in her bed and she started to take off her clothes and I just went with it, even though I felt no attraction towards her. I knew she was pretty but I didn’t see it that way, I never did. And when she grabbed a condom and gave it to me, I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t erected at the slightest and nothing helped – her hands didn’t and neither did her mouth… and I knew something was wrong with me… so the first time I did the smuts, I panicked. I had a panic attack just like you, Dean, because I felt like a failure and there was this constant pressure society put on my back, weighing down on me and I thought it would suffocate me. I almost fainted and you know what was even best? The girl I was with had to bring her mother because she was a nurse and knew how to handle it. I was naked and panicking and the mother of the girl I couldn’t bring myself to have sex with had to help me get back. I learned then, that I needed an emotional connection towards people to feel sexually attracted at all. And I also learned that this only ever was the case with men. I never let society pressure me after that again and I learned how to live with it. I had a few relationships since then but it took time. Getting to know each other, building trust and an emotional connection. The first relationship I had was with the man who introduced me to BDSM and it took about a year until I was able to be intimate with him.”

Castiel paused to check in on Dean again and he sighed in relief as his breathing was calming down, yet still a bit too harsh. “I lost my virginity at age 21 and I don’t feel ashamed about it. I was ready when it happened and that’s more than most people can say.” He stopped talking once more, listening to Dean’s breathing as it slowed down further and further. It filled him with a special kind of happiness to have been able to help Dean.

“Cas, that’s…” He gulped once, painfully, and Castiel screwed his eyes shut in sympathy at imagining the pain he must’ve felt doing it. “That’s good for you, Cas. I’m…” He took a few steadying breaths and tried again, “I’m sorry your first try was a fiasco… but glad the actual one went well…” His voice broke at the end and he coughed a few times to get his voice back. “That’s great.”

“Thank you, Dean.” He smiled slightly and sat down on the edge of the bed, waiting for Dean to get back to normal. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, thanks Cas. I wouldn’t’ve known what to do…”

“But you did it and that’s all that matters. This happened before, right?”

“Yeah, guess when I was younger. But Sammy was there and he must’ve helped.”

“Aren’t you staying at your brother’s?” Cas frowned.

“Yeah, he’s asleep, though. Sorry you had to hear that.”

“Dean, you don’t need to apologize for something you had no control over. If anyone should feel bad it’s me. I made you panic and I'm so very sorry about that, Dean. I don’t know why I keep doing this. It’s really not what I want. I’m so sorry.” A tear slipped down his face. God, he hated himself so much right now. All he wanted was to tell Dean how much he’d want to spend time with him.

“Hey, Cas… don’t, okay? You’re not responsible for what I do. You didn’t have anything to do with me being fucked-up and unable to cope with emotions. Thanks for telling me your story to distract me. It means a lot that you trust me with it.” His voice was thick with emotions and Castiel got the meaning of his words loud and clear.

“Thank you, Dean. I hope you understand what I mean when I say you changed things for me… All that, the time it usually takes me to want to sexually be with someone, I just skipped that when I met you and it’s a wonderful feeling. I had this instant connection to you and it’s strong, Dean. I don’t want to lose this ever again.”

There was a long moment of silence and then a quiet, “Yeah… I do.” Before Castiel could express how happy he was to hear that, Dean said, “I swear I won’t run again.”

A big smile developed on Castiel’s lips and he wiped away the wetness on his cheeks from before. “Thank you.”

Dean cleared his throat quietly and then asked, “So, you wanna meet for dinner tomorrow?” He sounded shy, his voice raspy and absolutely beautiful.

“I’d like nothing more than that, Dean.” Castiel smiled so brightly that his muscles hurt.

“Was that a yes?”

Cas could hear the smile on Dean’s face and he chuckled happily. “Yes, Dean. I’d love to go to dinner with you.”

“Then we have a date.”

Internally screaming with excitement, Cas tried to tame it down a bit and answered, “I think we do,” with as much of a calm voice as possible.

“Thanks, Cas.” He didn’t know how to answer so he just sat on his bed and smiled like a love-sick idiot, but he didn’t have to because, after a while, Dean added, “‘Night, Cas.”

Grinning, he returned, “Good night, Dean.” They lingered like that a few seconds before one of them ended the call – Castiel couldn’t remember who. 

He fell asleep immediately with a content smile on his face and dreamed of the beautiful green-eyed, the topic he and Jimmy discussed before totally forgotten about.

Dean woke up feeling content and he smiled when he remembered the night before. It wasn’t so fantastic that he had had a panic attack, but the way Cas had been able to talk him down was amazing. He didn’t know why he had that effect on him, but Cas’ – and Jimmy’s – voice had something truly soothing about it, which calmed Dean down just by listening to the low rumble of it.

With a silly smile, Dean reached out to the nightstand again and grabbed his cell, checking the time. He was awake earlier than usual, so early that he heard Sam come back from his morning run a few minutes later. For a while, he just stared at the screen, then decided to open his recents and selected Castiel’s number, choosing the option to add a new contact. Dean saved it as ‘Cas’ and typed a message.

> **_< < morning_ **
> 
> **_< < this is Dean btw_ **

He didn’t have to wait long until there was a reply and he smiled when he opened it.

> **_> > Yes, I know. Good morning Dean. I hope you had a good night’s sleep :)_ **

Dean smiled at the use of the emoticon and pictured Cas typing it as he hurried to give a reply as fast as possible. He sent it before he could change his mind.

> **_< < yeah thanks to you_ **
> 
> **_< < U?_ **
> 
> **_> > It was almost as good as when I fell asleep to your slight snores ;)_ **

Laughing, Dean started typing again.

> **_< < HAHA I dont snore!_ **
> 
> **_> > You do. But it’s cute._ **

He was glad that Cas couldn’t see him right now because he was blushing like crazy.

> **_> > You looked so young when you slept. I could’ve watched you the whole night…_ **
> 
> **_< < creep_ **

There was no answer at first and Dean thought he did something to piss Cas off, but then there were three messages at once and he chuckled.

> **_> > I should probably not have taken all those pictures while you were out._ **
> 
> **_> > I can delete them if you want._ **
> 
> **_> > But I’d rather you not._ **

For a second, Dean’s heart rate sped up and he thought about how to answer that because his throat went dry, but then he got another message and he wished Cas was in the room with him so he could punch and kiss the holy life out of the man.

> **_> > JK xD_ **
> 
> **_> > This is how to use ‘just kidding’ the right way, isn’t it? I’m not very familiar with the custom of using text abbreviations, but Jimmy has asked me countless times to change my texting style into something less robotic…_ **

God, how could anyone be that cute? Dean could practically see the frown on his face while writing that and it made his heart swell with adoration.

> **_< < first of all… dont ever do this again. you scared the crap outta me rn_ **
> 
> **_< < and yeah you used it just right, thank you very much_ **
> 
> **_< < you dork_ **

There was a moment where none of them texted anything, Dean just staring at the screen and smiling at what Cas had written, until a new message popped up.

> **_> > When would you like to meet for dinner tonight?_ **
> 
> **_< < oh right! I dunno…_ **
> 
> **_< < how does 7pm sound?_ **
> 
> **_> > Great. Do you have a place you’d prefer to go?_ **
> 
> **_< < nah. you pick and just text me the location. ill meet u there ;)_ **
> 
> **_> > Well, I’ll see you then :)_ **
> 
> **_< < c u ;)_ **

Smiling, Dean closed their chat and felt a kind of excitement inside of him that he had never experienced before. It was exhilarating but also scary and he convinced himself to do another scary thing by asking Jimmy if he’d have a free spot for him the next day and sent the picture of the motive he’d like to have tattooed on his skin. He didn’t just change things for them, Jimmy and Cas changed things for Dean, too, and he _so_ wanted to hold on to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mild panic attack, non-con kissing because of identity confusion


	3. December – Part Two

Castiel was nervous as he waited for Dean, even though they had met before. Hell, they had spent an entire night in a bed together and Cas was still bouncing his legs underneath the table restlessly, looking about the restaurant to see if Dean arrived.

Dean still had a few minutes since it was only 6.52 pm, so Castiel tried to tame his hair a bit, though he wasn’t very successful with that. He couldn’t remember ever having acted like that – wringing his hands and clenching his jaw to keep from making a noise with his shoes as his legs didn’t stop bouncing. _God_ , he was pathetic.

But then Cas caught movement out of the corner of his eyes and he looked at the person sauntering toward him in a slow but confident way. He was enthralled by the bow legs that carried him and Castiel caught himself thinking about how well his own body would fit between those. Blinking a few times to clear his mind, Cas rose from his chair and stepped aside so that he was turned to Dean fully. Now, he let his eyes wander over the rest of his body as the blonde came closer to his table and he smiled as he saw that Dean had made an effort to clean himself up. He was wearing black jeans, a white button-up shirt, and over that a green cargo jacket. His hair was different today – spiky and it looked brighter, maybe because there wasn’t that much gel in it to darken it.

Clad in his beige trench-coat, black slacks, suit jacket, and white button-up that he always wore with his blue tie, Castiel felt a bit weird. It was what he usually wore to work and he thought it would be appropriate for dinner, but now he seemed to have come too formal. He should’ve asked Jimmy what to wear.

When Dean stood right before him, Cas felt his smile forming on his face and for a second, he didn’t know what to do – say hello, hug him, kiss him? – but his worries were gone as soon as Dean grinned sweetly and enveloped him in a warm embrace. Cas hugged back at first shyly, but then Dean chuckled and tightened their hold, so Cas allowed himself to grip the fabric of Dean’s jacket and pull him close against his chest, resting his chin on his shoulder as he secretly savored his amazing smell.

Cas only realized that his eyes were shut when Dean started to let go and he collected himself fast enough to not let it show on his face how much he missed Dean’s warmth already. With his hands at Cas’ elbows, Dean almost whispered, “Hi.”

“Hello, Dean.” He was _so_ swept off his feet right now, Castiel thought he must look silly with that big smile showing his teeth. But he was just so glad that Dean was there and that he got to spend the day with him. It wasn’t possible to hide his excitement because it was much more than he had ever felt. “You look good, Dean.”

“Thanks, you don’t look so bad yourself. It’s my usual attire sans the button-up.” He took the chair and placed it so that he could sit down and shifted until he was in the right position. Cas did so, too, watching Dean move with smiling eyes.

Frowning slightly, Cas asked, “Without a shirt? In winter?”

Dean laughed and grabbed the menu, tugging at his shirt with the other hand. “I wear a tee under that.”

“I see.” Castiel really did, because Dean had the first two or three buttons open and as he was tugging on it, he could see the collar of a white t-shirt underneath. Now he felt stupid and it showed because he was blushing. Castiel didn’t know what was wrong with his body, he never reacted that much to anything. Distracting from his awkwardness, Cas said, “I’m very glad you came, Dean.”

The blonde met his eyes at that and gave him a small, shy smile. “Well, I couldn’t play hooky after those messages you sent me, could I?”

“Why?” He grabbed the menu as well.

“You showed humor,” Dean smirked cockily, “I wanted to see more of that. Besides, I had nothing else to do, so why not snatch a dinner with a hot guy?”

That made Castiel grin with satisfaction and he mused, “Is that so?”

“Joking aside, I really like you, Cas. ‘Course I wanted to get to know you better. Thanks for giving me a second chance.” Now Dean looked a bit insecure and coy, which made Castiel’s smile soften.

“Thank you for taking it.” His voice was a bit gentler than usual and Dean nodded, smiling sheepishly, then let his eyes fall on the menu in his hands. Castiel stared at Dean’s long, soft lashes falling onto his freckled cheeks as he peered down and felt a kind of adoration at the way they shielded the vibrancy of his eyes from Cas. He found himself wanting to kiss his eyelids tenderly, wanted to feel how soft those lashes really were underneath his thumbs as he barely touched them… Clearing his throat, Cas asked, “Have you decided on what you’d like to eat?”

Lifting his gaze, Dean shrugged. “Nah, I thought you could recommend something.” There was a playful smile gracing his lips and Castiel nodded.

“I’ve never been to this place before, but I think the stuffed peppers sound good. There is delicious ground beef and a spicy sauce to it.” Castiel hoped he met Dean’s tastes and played with the edges of the menu nervously.

He put the menu aside and looked at Cas with a confident smile. “Sounds great, I’ll have that.”

Castiel barely managed to keep the relieved sigh he let out at that inaudible and smiled contently, deciding on what to eat. “I think I’ll have the same.” Dean merely shot him a sweet smile and sat back in his chair.

It didn’t take long for a waiter to come and take their order and soon after, they had their drinks served. Dean chose a soda, which Cas found surprising, and he didn’t want to be the only one drinking, so he got a non-alcoholic beer.

Now Castiel couldn’t help but ask as Dean took a few sips of his drink and sighed after it refreshed him. “How come you don’t drink?”

Setting down his glass, Dean met his eyes and answered, “I do, but it affects my behavior even though I have a pretty high alcohol tolerance, and I want to be myself with you tonight. So… no drinking for me. And it makes my brother happy, so I indulge.”

Castiel nodded his understanding and smiled – hearing that made his heart pound faster and his pulse quicken. Dean wanted to be himself around Cas and that meant a lot because it showed him he trusted Castiel. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Nah, it’s not that big a deal, you know.” But the way Dean fiddled with the tablecloth and averted his eyes, pretending to find his hands very interesting all of a sudden while a deep blush stared to cover his cheeks, told Cas that it was.

“Dean, it is, because this matters to me, and what you told me right now shows me that it does to you as well. This means a great deal. Please don’t play it off like that. Be honest with me like you were that night.” He reached across the table and took Dean’s hand, making the blonde look him in the eyes. “You mean a lot to me.”

There was a sheepish smile on Dean’s face and he nodded, his lips were slightly parted and Castiel was able to see his tongue poking around in his mouth. It was cute but also sexy and Castiel took a sip of his drink to distract himself.

“Cas? Can I ask you something?”

They locked eyes and Castiel nodded. “Sure.”

“I don’t want this to develop into a chick-flick or anything, but I have to ask because I’ve been wondering about that for a while now and…” He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. “Why do you like me? And I know that you told me about how I make you feel, but… why do I make you feel this way? It’s not like I have the most soothing words or anything…”

Smiling, Castiel answered honestly, “You just do. It’s all of you, Dean. I feel comfortable around you because you don’t look at me with disdain, or questioning eyes – wondering why I am the way I am, instead just accepting me for _who_ I am, not what. When you look at me, I feel like you see me as a person and not just a label. I don’t feel like a demisexual having to explain myself, or someone who’s gay. I don’t have the feeling you look at me and only see a Dom, either. You don’t see a label, you see me. And that makes me feel so good around you, Dean. There’s real interest in your eyes and your smile is real. You don’t hide from me, at least not if I ask you to and that makes you real and amiable.”

When Cas dared to look at Dean, the blonde was smiling timidly and he nodded again, meeting Cas’ eyes with sincere ones. “God, Cas, you say all those nice things and I just don’t know what to answer… I just don’t understand who’d look at you with indifference. You’re Cas! And I hardly know you but I feel like I do and it makes me want to smash their heads.”

Castiel couldn’t stop himself from grinning at that and squeezed Dean’s hand. “Thank you, Dean. I feel the same, by the way. I think now you know how I feel about Michael, though.”

Sighing, Dean said, “Yeah, I guess. But I chose this, you didn’t. And you don’t deserve to be treated like that or to be discriminated against. What you told me during my panic attack meant damn much to me, Cas, and I’m so sorry this was an experience you had to make.”

“Dean, it’s alright, really. I’m glad I made that experience, it opened my eyes. I learned not to feel pressured by society anymore.” Dean nodded and smiled fondly, a tiny “yeah” leaving his lips. “I can only hope your first time went ‘smoother’.” Castiel grinned and took another sip.

At that, Dean chuckled and shook his head with amusement, probably smiling at Cas for doing air-quotes just then. “Oh man, yeah it was great.” He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and snorted.

Now Castiel wanted to know. “Tell me about it.”

“Well, I was a teen and drunk, everything about that story is just wrong.” Dean followed Castiel and took a few gulps himself.

“Tell me anyway.”

“Fine.” He set the almost-empty glass back down and looked Castiel in the eyes. “My brother, Sammy, was on a three-day school trip over the weekend and fifteen-year-old me thought it would be amazing to steal my father’s booze and tell a few of my friends that we’d have access to alcohol. So they invited me over to their place, and, you have to know they were a bit older than me, had some more people come there. There had also been that girl from Spanish class and I was hanging out with her and talking about stuff that I can, for the love of God, not remember the slightest anymore. We ended up making out in some corner of the house and I was really drunk by the time she led me upstairs, like _really_ drunk. I couldn’t even walk straight and so I wasn’t a hundred percent there with her when she had sex with me, so I didn’t even realize that it wasn’t the girl from Spanish class anymore.” Castiel’s eyes widened in shock and Dean just laughed at the memory. “Yeah, turns out, she had passed out on the couch and was sleeping on the sofa downstairs, and the girl I had sex with was actually her sister. I swear I hadn’t known.”

“What did you do then?”

“Like the gentleman I was, I puked in her closet because I thought it was the bathroom but didn’t have time to change direction. I fell asleep not long after and when I woke up again, her sister was still there, playing with my hair. And she was really cute, you know, so we had sex again… and again. Until her parents walked in on us and threw me out because, apparently, this was their house and they came home early. The whole night was a disaster and I only remember half of it. I’m not very proud of what I did but I have to tell you that her sister was two years older than me and I wasn’t the first guy she had slept with so I didn’t do any real harm.” Castiel could see how ashamed Dean was to tell him that, but it didn’t change the way he saw him at all.

“You didn’t get her pregnant, right?”

Eyes wide, Dean sputtered, “God, no! No… she told me she hadn’t been this drunk and thought about using condoms. I felt so bad afterward… I made myself watch videos about pregnancies and birth-giving and sexual diseases to scare the holy shit outta me so that I’d never forget to use condoms on my own ever again.”

Castiel laughed slightly and asked, “Did it work?”

To his utter surprise, Dean fished a condom out of his jean pocket and smiled cheekily. “Never forgot it again.” He put it back into the back pocket of his pants and explained, “It’s more like a safety-blanket, you know. When I feel it burning a hole into my pants, I won’t forget it. And it comes in handy sometimes…” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Cas could feel his cheeks burning up as they flushed at the implication, and there was a very pleasant, unmistakable heat pooling in his gut. No one ever got him as aroused so fast as Dean. It was exhilarating. “Good.” Dean chuckled and even winked at him and Castiel barely refrained from taking in a loud breath.

Fortunately for him, the waiter arrived with their food and placed down the plates in front of them, telling them to enjoy their meals. They thanked him and grabbed their cutlery, staring at each other intensely for who knows how long before beginning to eat.

After a moment of comfortable silence between them, Cas asked, “Dean?” He looked up and smiled, humming contently and nodding to show Cas could go on. “Thank you for telling me. It doesn’t change the way I see you at all, if anything, it merely makes you all the more lovely.”

His smile widened and his eyes rounded with it. They were so unbelievably green and in the sunlight streaming in from outside, Castiel could see specks of gold all around his pupils and it was breathtaking. “Charmer.”

They ate their food then, Cas was happy to see Dean enjoyed it and happily delved into his own food. He asked about Dean’s childhood then and the blonde told him that he grew up in Kansas, where he actually still lived – Castiel was very delighted when he got to know that because it meant he wasn’t a stranger any longer – and that his mother died when he was four years old. He missed her badly sometimes and Castiel felt encouraged to tell Dean about their father, who left when Jimmy and he were five years old. It felt good to get to know Dean better and Castiel savored every information he got and locked it up so that he won’t forget any of it.

This whole time, Cas couldn’t forget about the condom in Dean’s pocket though and his thoughts kept going back to it in between conversations. Like now, Dean just finished his meal and took the napkin to wipe his mouth with and Castiel found himself staring at them while his mind provided him with various scenarios where they could make use of the rubber. He had never had such an explicit imagination as he did with Dean and it was starting to get frustrating.

“So what was it like growing up with a twin? Did you ever prank people?”

Dean’s question brought him back to reality and Castiel asked, “I guess it was nothing special. I mean, we’ve always been closer to each other than to the rest of our siblings, but we were quite similar, so it wasn’t really the fact that we developed from the same fertilized egg. Of course, it wasn’t the same as it was for you and Sam because you are four years his senior,” Castiel felt honored to get this information because Sam seemed to be what was most precious to Dean, “and Jimmy and I don’t have an age difference. So I haven’t been able to take care of him as you did for Sam or the other way around. And we did get confused with the other all the time, we still get now, but we only used it once to our advantage.”

An excited smile spread across Dean’s lips and he said, “You gotta tell me about that!”

Chuckling, Cas complied, “It was in high school and I hated art class which Jimmy ‘aced’, of course, while I was good in science and maths, so we made a compromise and that’s why we pretended to be the other when it was necessary during finals.”

“Oh my God, Cas! You cheated? Innocent, sweet Cas cheated in his finals!” Dean laughed loudly and Castiel couldn’t help but join and laugh himself.

“I’m not innocent, you know…” He raised his eyebrow and fixed Dean with a heated glare and the blonde smirked knowingly.

“Yeah, you’re not.” And Cas was back to thinking about the condom… There was a moment of silence where they merely stared at each other with a special heat in their eyes. Then, Deann shifted in his chair and said, “About Jimmy, he probably told you already, but… I confused him with you, too, and practically attacked him with a kiss because I was so happy to see you. I thought I’d never get the chance. And, ‘course, he didn’t know me so I thought you’d forgotten all about me until he told me he was your twin.”

Cas nodded, “Yes, he told me that.” Now his thoughts strayed towards the conversation he and Jimmy had that night.

“He’s very nice and sweet, just like you. And I know this is extremely shitty of me but I want to be honest with you, I owe you that much.” God, Cas prepared himself for the rejection he thought was about to follow and his heartbeat slowed down as his breathing cut off. _Please not…_ “I like you very much, Cas… so much so, that I’d really wanna do this more often. It’s actually the first time in my life that I’ve dated and I must say I like this.” Castiel was able to breathe again, though his heart was still in his throat. “But I also like Jimmy and I wanna get to know him better, as well. I know it’s not fair to you–”

“Dean, it’s okay.” He couldn’t remember ever feeling this relieved.

The blonde looked taken aback and he frowned, asking, “What?”

“When Jimmy told me about how you two met, he also said that he felt a connection to you, the same I did. I know it’s weird, he does, too… but I’m not ready to let this go and if you want to continue to go out with me, then I’ll have nothing to complain about giving you the same chance with Jimmy. It’s only fair.” Castiel had made his mind up about this decision last night when he had laid awake and couldn’t sleep. It had been right before he called Dean and after they talked, Castiel had been sure it was the right one – and it was.

“Really? I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Dean played with the tablecloth again, signaling Cas that he was nervous once more, so he reached across the table like he did before and placed it above Dean’s, caressing his skin. It was warm and soft and Castiel smiled as Dean turned his hand around so that his palm was open and he grabbed Cas’ carefully.

“You could never hurt me, Dean.” The _unless you leave_ was unspoken. And before Dean could say anything like ‘don’t be so sure about that’, Cas traced the wristband with one finger and said, “I’ll take you in whatever way I can get you, Dean. However you want this to go, I’ll be glad to follow.”

Dean let out a shaky breath and smiled. “Okay,” it was almost a whisper and his voice was soft and raw. The sound of it made Castiel’s skin prickle pleasantly. “Then we’ll be open and honest with each other. So I gotta tell you that I’m gonna meet him tomorrow at his studio to get a tattoo.” Their eyes met then and Castiel took in the by now darker shade of green of his irises as the sun was starting to set and covering the town in faint shadows.

“What kind of tattoo?”

“Uhm, it’s gonna go on my chest, right…” He used his other hand to point at the area of his chest that he was talking about, “…here. It’s just a small one, a symbol to be specific.”

Castiel was curious, so he asked, “May I know what kind of symbol?”

“Oh, sure. It’s a pentagram. It’s to remind me of my past and prevent things from repeating themselves.” Smiling, Cas nodded and stroked Dean’s palm tenderly. This felt way more intimate than anything else he had ever done in public, and he had had some public scenes with a Sub in the past…

He listened to the sound of Dean’s calmed breathing, not sure when they came that close to each other. Even if the question hurt to ask, Castiel had to know. “When do you leave again?”

Dean let out a long breath at that and his smile turned into a wistful one. “The day after New Year’s Eve.”

“I don’t want you to go…” He had never told a truer and more honest thing. His heart ached at just the thought of letting Dean go.

“I don’t wanna leave…”

It was all Cas needed to know if their feelings were mutual and his breath hitched as Dean’s hold tightened around his fingers as if letting go would mean they’d had to part immediately.

The two of them spent some more time together and made moon eyes at each other while talking about how they were going to celebrate New Year’s until the waiter came and Cas asked for the bill. He insisted that he pay everything even though Dean tried to coax him to split the bill – Castiel would have none of it. And Dean had to admit that this side of him was a huge turn on. It was when he got to see the dominant part of him and how was Dean supposed to resist that?

He knew that if Cas used his gravelly and deep voice just right, the raven-haired would have him on his knees in no time. And Dean was more than ready to let Castiel do anything he wanted to him. That was just how deeply involved he already was, which made Dean an emotional wreck as soon as he had time alone with his thoughts. It was the first time he had ever gotten that involved with anyone and Dean merely met Castiel twice. Though it felt like he knew him his whole life…

When they left the restaurant, Cas walked with him for a while until their paths split and Dean really didn’t want it to be over then. This day had been great and Dean was so happy, he could annoy the hell out of his brother with all the energy. They stopped at the end of the street and just stood facing each other, doing that staring-thing they did. Cas’ eyes were a shade of deep, dark blue in the low lightening of the streets and they were almost hypnotizing as Dean found himself getting lost in the depths of it.

“This has been a wonderful evening, Dean. Thank you for that.” Castiel’s voice was soft and sincere and he stroked the back of Dean’s hand with his thumb.

“Yeah. Any time…” God, he was _so_ bad at words. He made himself sound like the biggest jerk. “I mean, I think it was ama–”

Suddenly, there were soft, shy lips pressing against his own as Cas grabbed the collar of his jacket with both hands and pulled him in. Dean saw this as his opportunity and framed Castiel’s face with his hands, his fingers buried in the tips of his unruly hair, while he opened his mouth and brushed Cas’ bottom lip with his own teasingly. But then all shyness was gone as Cas pulled him in even closer and crushed Dean’s lips against his, parting them and sliding his tongue against Dean’s teeth. He was demanding and exploring and Dean felt his knees go weak, happy to find Cas’ solid weight pressed against his body to lean on. When he opened up for Castiel so that he could slide his eager tongue deep into his mouth, Dean let out a moan right into Cas’ mouth and battled with his tongue until he let Cas’ subside his own. The slide of them against each other was delicious and Castiel was a fantastic kisser, even the bristles of his stubble rubbing against his chin and cheeks created a nice friction and it felt better than with anyone else before. Cas’ straight nose poked into the skin of his cheek and Dean’s own one was sliding against Castiel’s as he chased every slide until they had to part to breathe and to stop it from getting out of control.

Both their chests were heaving and their bottom lips still touched. There was a bit of saliva connecting them and Dean had never seen anything hotter, so he took Castiel’s lip between his teeth and bit down on it slightly, eliciting a groan out of him. “I could do this forever…”

“Me too…”

Castiel’s greedy lips covered his again and he kissed Dean with even more fervor than before, his tongue sliding in as if it owned Dean’s mouth. _Maybe it did…_

When they parted for the last time, Dean couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes, even as Cas rested his forehead against his own and breathed harshly. His hot breath fell on Dean’s lips and dried their mixed saliva and it was the best feeling ever. “Promise me I’ll see you again, Dean.” He whispered it on a breath and Dean couldn’t do anything but nod.

“Promise.”

Stepping away from each other took longer than anticipated and it hurt more than Dean would have let himself admit but this time, he wasn’t walking away from Cas. He felt like he was stepping into a whole new part of his life and it terrified Dean as much as it thrilled him.

They had set up an appointment for 1 pm and time was running fast that day – at least that was what Jimmy thought. He had had two clients already and, thankfully, Dean would be the last. Originally, Jimmy would have only had those two clients today, but he made an exception for Dean because he would have done anything for more time with the handsome green-eyed.

He had just finished cleaning up after the last client, preparing everything he needed for Dean, and was about to walk back into the front part of the salon, when there was a knock on the frame of his open door. Checking the time, Jimmy turned around and was surprised to find Dean standing in the doorframe and looking sinfully stunning. The blonde wore dark jeans, a white shirt and a brown, worn-out leather jacket which's collar was half-popped, making his very beautiful neck look even nicer. It took everything in Jimmy not to drool at the sight and when he saw the easy smile on Dean’s face, he could’ve sworn his heart literally skipped a beat.

“Hey, stranger.” Jimmy was way too out of it to answer him so he just smiled brightly. “May I come in?”

Nodding like a dumbass, Jimmy made a gesture for him to come inside and stammered, “Yeah… yes, of course.” He pointed at the client chair so Dean knew he was allowed to sit down, while he went to the door and closed it.

“Thanks, for having me. I hope it’s alright.”

When Jimmy turned around and looked at Dean, the blonde was sitting on the edge of the chair, his legs swinging since his feet didn’t touch the ground and his arms were propped up next to his thighs, making Dean’s upper body look long and muscular. That aside, he seemed shy once more and there was this cute little smile on his lips that Jimmy wanted to kiss. “Anything for you. And it’s alright, really.”

Dean met his eyes at that and grinned, righting himself and taking off his jacket, throwing it onto the normal chair in the corner of the studio. While doing so, Jimmy watched as the fabric of his white t-shirt stretched across his chest and shoulders and made small room for imagining what was underneath. As unprofessional as it was, Jimmy couldn’t wait to see Dean without a shirt – he’d probably get some pretty good spank bank material just from that.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He didn’t want Dean regretting what he was about to do and being reminded of a mistake he made every time he saw Jimmy’s art. If anything, he wanted Dean to be reminded of him every time he saw it, like it was an actual mark – _a claim_. Just thinking about that stirred heat up down low in his gut. His libido was a traitorous thing… Jimmy had never had such feelings or thoughts about other clients, thankfully, and he didn’t know why they kept prevailing themselves every time he so much as let his mind wander towards Dean, but they did and it was troublesome.

“Never been more sure ‘bout anything,” Dean promised and ripped Jimmy out of his thoughts.

Grabbing his gloves and starting to take them on, he motioned at Dean’s shirt and ordered, “Take this off then,” as if it personally offended him. “Let me see some skin.” Jimmy was feeling a bit cocky right now and flashed Dean a seductive smirk.

The blonde chuckled and gripped the collar of his shirt with both hands to take it off over his head, revealing miles of beautiful, freckled skin. It was a bit paler than on his arms, where his shirtsleeves would usually end, and Jimmy had to take a moment to memorize everything. His collar bones looked just amazing as they formed his broad shoulders and his forearms were Heaven. They were strong and big but still fitting the rest of his lean and well-built body and Jimmy found himself wanting to wrap his hands around them and watch as the skin gave in underneath it. His chest was chiseled and while his torso was still muscular, it looked natural and his stomach soft and it was mesmerizing. Jimmy imagined his body would feel amazing beneath his because there wasn’t just steal and hair. And his nipples looked delicate – all pink and hard from the cool air in the room. That meant they were very sensitive and Jimmy smirked at the knowledge.

Dean seemed to know exactly what he was thinking about and a rosy shade tinted his cheeks as he shifted under the scrutiny. “See something you like?”

There was sarcasm but also teasing in his voice and Jimmy chuckled. “You could say so. I very much enjoy what I’m seeing right now.”

“Is that so?” One corner of Dean’s mouth turned upwards in a cocky grin and he readjusted his arms behind him so that he could lean back on them and present his torso in a slight, beautiful arch to Jimmy. His pants sat low and Jimmy was able to see the waistband of his boxers peeking out of his jeans and there was the faintest trail of blonde hair underneath his belly button down into his pants. His happy trail was barely even visible and Jimmy admired it. For unknown reasons, he was sure that Dean was usually clean shaved and the thought was so hot, that Jimmy had to think of something less arousing in order to keep his cock from betraying him.

“Uh-huh.” He smiled as he motioned for Dean to lean back against the chair and get comfortable. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, I’m almost reluctant to tattoo such untouched territory.” He got the disinfectant and applied it to the area where the tattoo was going to be. “All that unblemished, flawless and pure and… pretty skin.”

Dean chuckled, saying, “Well, then you’ll just make it even prettier.”

It was still a lot that Dean trusted him with this and he felt like it was a huge thing and wanted to treat it like one. His mind provided him with obscene thoughts such as this was almost like having the privilege to take someone’s virginity. Hell, if he’d ever had that chance with Dean, he’d have been the luckiest man on earth. But the chance that Dean was still a virgin was as high as snow falling despite those temperatures this year. “Not putting any pressure on me…”

“You saying you don’t trust your skills?”

“No, I don’t doubt my skills, I just don’t trust myself around you.” He went back to his desk and took the stencil, then walked back to Dean and started applying it carefully, concentrating on putting it on the right spot just as they agreed.

“Why is that?” There was amusement in his voice and Jimmy met his eyes as he peeled off the paper.

“You’re freakishly hot and nice. I don’t want to ruin my chances by making you regret this or anything…” The stencil was done and Jimmy checked if everything was where it ought to be. When he deemed it fine, he asked, “Do you want to take a look at it first, so you can check if everything is as you want it?”

Dean merely laid his eyes on the tattoo from where he was sitting and smiled contently. “Looks great. I won’t need that, I trust you.”

It was just a sigil, nothing too challenging, so Jimmy went to prepare the machine and ink while trying not to dwell too much on the fact that he was about to really do this now.

When everything was done and he put the needle close to Dean’s skin, Jimmy warmed, “This could get a bit uncomfortable now. If you want a pause, tell me.” Then he started and all his concentration was on the linework.

“You gotta know that I have a pretty high pain tolerance,” Dean said and Jimmy could hear the smile in his voice. Of course, he had forgotten that Dean was a Sub. And while being a submissive didn’t automatically mean that someone liked pain or could handle it, this seemed to be the case with Dean. He would have blushed if he wasn’t that concentrated on tracing the lines. “Did your back tattoo hurt?”

Smiling, he answered, “Not really, the back area is the one that hurts the least, I guess. Well, except for neck and spine… that hurts like a bitch.” Dean laughed but kept his chest from shaking too much so that Jimmy was able to go on. “My first tattoo hurt, though… I got it on my hip – not a good idea for the first. And even if it was a small one, the pain was a lot.”

“I thought you only had that one tat?”

“No, I just told you about this one, I have more.”

“Oh. So what was your first one?”

“A graphic design of a death’s-head hawkmoth.” He remembered the day he turned eighteen and the first thing on his mind was getting a tattoo. Castiel had not been impressed with that idea.

“Why’d you chose this one?”

He paused to look at Dean with a smile for a second, then resumed and explained, “I dunno. I just wanted to have something to make our mom mad with and so I got this tat. And believe me, she went crazy at me for having it but then she remembered that she didn’t give a damn and said it wasn’t her skin she had to wear. Cas just laughed the whole time. He was pretty amused by my act of rebellion.”

“So you got yourself an insect on your hip to plot against your mom?” Jimmy laughed and nodded. “That’s fucking hilarious man!” There was a moment of silence and then Dean asked, “Did Cas had a rebellious phase as well?”

Chuckling, Jimmy answered, “Yeah, I guess when he applied for all those colleges in New York at the other end of the country. He ended up attending one in Cali, though. I was glad about that because I didn’t want to be the only one here with Naomi.”

Dean laughed slightly. “Yeah, that sounds like something Cas would do.”

“Uh-huh. Oh! And there was this one time at Christmas dinner when he told everyone he was a Dom and started talking about giving it to his Subs while flogging them and they all just flat out choked on their food. That was the funniest thing he’s ever done.” It had been a truly boring and annoying evening, Jimmy recalled. Their mother had been complaining about everything and nothing, especially about the way they chose to live and Castiel had been so fed up by her crap, that he just came out to them in his dry-humor way and said it as if he’d been talking about the weather.

Dean’s chest rumbled with laughter at the story and Jimmy smiled down at the emerging tattoo fondly. “God, I wish I had been there to see that. I bet your mother was anything but happy to hear that…”

“She was raging and threw us out after dinner, which Cas and I were truly thankful for.” Dean breathed out a ‘yeah’ after that and Jimmy asked, “Did you? …have a rebellious phase or your brother?”

“Me? I dunno. I’ve done almost everything from stealing and being taken in for the night to sleeping around with every girl I met and ‘burrowing’ my father’s booze. I even drove his car once when I was fourteen and he left us alone for a few weeks again. But I didn’t see it as rebellion, it was just who I was. A deadbeat and liability. I tried my best at raising Sammy, but I wasn’t at all a role-model or the brother Sam would’ve deserved. And Sam… he’s always been the more mature and reasonable one of us.”

The self-loathing tone with which Dean said the last part made Jimmy frown and a bit sad. “Well, doesn’t he go to Stanford? I mean, if this isn’t product of good education on your part, I don’t know what is. If you had to raise him almost all on your own, I’d say you’ve done an amazing job.” Jimmy would have loved to know why their father was absent or why he had to raise his little brother, but he was willing to wait as long as it took Dean to be ready to tell it.

“He’s got the smarts and is ambitious. Sam’s nothing like me, we don’t share anything but the same DNA. It had nothing to do with me. In retrospect, all I did was distract him from getting here sooner.” 

Jimmy had no idea how to respond to that. He knew from the way Dean talked and behaved that this was a sensitive topic and he had the feeling that he’d be talking to a wall if he tried to convince Dean that he was too harsh with himself. Dean had only been a child himself, how was he supposed to do the right thing all the time? So, Jimmy changed the direction of their topic and said, “I never got to ask what you do for a living…”

“I fix cars.”

“So, you’re a mechanic. I hadn’t thought of that.” He admired the way Dean was as relaxed as if taking a nap while getting a tattoo like there was no pain at all. Or he was just pretty amazing at not showing it.

His voice was calm when he asked, “What’d you think?”

Humming, Jimmy said, “You have very nice hands, I thought it was something less practical and dirty, like an artist yourself, or a freelancer.” After a short pause, he added, “Or– I dunno… a professional Submissive… something like that.” Jimmy had to admit that he had been thinking about this a lot and was ashamed to have done it.

“You thought I was a sex worker?” He held his breath at that, waiting for the litany of insults and a burst of anger to come but it didn’t. Dean just chuckled in amusement and said, “You wouldn’t be the first one to think that, Jimmy. It’s alright. I got asked if I was a stripper once because I had the looks… the guy was cute.”

To say that Jimmy was surprised Dean didn’t feel insulted the slightest was an understatement. He had practically called Dean a prostitute and he hated himself for that. Jimmy wished he would have been yelled at for it. “So, no professional?”

“Nah, I have a partner I can scene with and that’s all I really need.” Jimmy nodded, shame written all over his face as it blushed. And then Dean laid his hand on top of his shoulder reassuringly and said, “Jimmy, it’s okay to ask that. If I’d start dating someone, I’d like to know if they were sleeping with others professionally, too. There’s nothing wrong with it. But if I had been, I would’ve told you right away to get the elephant outta the room, if you know what I mean.”

“I feel stupid and bad anyway.” He really did.

The blonde chuckled and teased, “My hands, huh?”

“I really didn’t want to insult you, Dean.”

“Hey, it’s okay, Jimmy. I wasn’t insulted, I was actually flattered that you think I have nice hands. No one ever paid them any attention because they’re either too concentrated on staring at my face or crotch… as if I’d suddenly pop a boner and show them my size… God, some people are just animals.” He ended his sentence with a laugh even though it wasn’t funny at all that most people objectified Dean that way. Yes, the man was stunning and his good looks could get distracting – Jimmy had found himself in that same position before – but behind that was a real person with so much warmth and a lot to say. He internally slapped himself for having stared at Dean’s bare torso before or having had troubles during their shared meal as the blonde kept making those lovely noises. Jimmy thought about Cas and wondered if he felt the same shameful attraction towards Dean even though they hadn’t attended to feel turned on. It just happened. There was no controlling it.

“You are attractive, Dean. But every time you smile at me, I want to know who you are. I want to hear your story, your experiences, what you love. I want to get to know you, Dean. And I want to kiss and ravish you, but that’s just secondary.” He smiled when Dean let out an amused snort and chuckled.

“You wanna know what I like?” Jimmy nodded as answer and Dean said, “‘Kay, ask questions, I’ll try to answer them all honestly.”

Jimmy spared a surprised glance at Dean and asked, “Anything?”

“Anything.”

This was getting exciting and Jimmy thought about what to ask Dean. He didn’t want to start with something too deep or heavy and decided to begin with harmless questions. “Alright…”

“Wait! Let’s make a game outta it. It’s only fair that I get to know you, too. So every time you ask a question, you give what your answer would’ve been.”

Jimmy smiled happily and said, “Sounds good. Okay, let’s start with the basics. Favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“I don’t have one, but if I gotta decide, I’d say grey or green… something dark.” He was almost done with the tracing and glad to see it looked great already. “So, I already know you love classic cars, old western movies, food, your brother…” He searched his mind for something mild to ask. “Oh, where do you live if it’s not here?”

“Kansas. Was born in Lebanon and grew up in Lawrence… never made it any further than that.”

“You already know where I live so I’m just gonna skip this and ask why you never made it out of Kansas? I mean, is something holding you there?”

“Nah… I only ever really had my brother except for a few friends but they’re replaceable ones, you know. Not really friends, just acquaintances. Nothing keeps me there. John’s not gonna show up again, I sold the house and live in a ratty apartment, have a tiring job, but it pays and I never thought about moving. Never had a reason to.”

“What about your brother? Wouldn’t he be glad to have you closer?”

“I dunno. Nothing would come out of it if I moved here. I’d just bring back everything he left behind for a good reason. I don’t want to invade him and Jess or be a liability.” Dean’s voice was quieter and Jimmy hated that Dean belittled himself like that.

The question was way deeper than Jimmy had thought and he prompted, “So, you’ve never had the desire to just leave and see the world? Travel somewhere or just take a few weeks for yourself and get out?”

“I’m not sure… I guess I’ve always wanted to see the ocean but never went further than this.”

Jimmy’s eyes bugged out and he said, “So you visit your brother every year for the holidays and you’ve never been to Long Beach?”

“Nope, never been.”

“We have to change that, Dean.” He felt a pang of sadness at the fact that Dean didn’t treat himself, didn’t care about his own dreams and wants.

“What?”

“Do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve?” In his peripheral vision, Jimmy saw Dean nod and so he went on, “why don’t you, Sam, his girlfriend and Cas and I spend the evening together at Long Beach? You’d start your new year at the ocean.”

Dean was quiet for so long, that Jimmy thought he hadn’t been listening. But when he looked up at him, the blonde had an unreadable expression on his face and his eyes shone. In a tight voice, Dean said, “That sounds amazing. You’d do that?”

“Of course. I want to see the look on your face when you see it for the first time.” Dean’s smile was tiny but genuine and he nodded, probably too many emotions going through him right now. And Jimmy was happy to have made him happy. “Back to the questions… are you or your family religious?”

“No and no. You?”

“Me neither. Our parents were religious which is why some of us were named after angels… like Castiel. But ever since we were old enough to decide what we believed in, Cas and I stopped going to church with them every Sunday.”

“Why aren’t you named after one?”

“Oh, I am. My real name is Emmanuel James Novak, Cas’ real one is Castiel James Novak.” Most people didn’t know that and Dean was the first he ever told his real name.

“Wow. So you’re both called James… why do you call yourself Jimmy?”

_Good question._ “Well, we were all named after our great-grandfather so all Novaks have the middle name James. I call myself Jimmy because I don’t want it to be James and Emmanuel sounds just lame… I don’t know, it has always been Jimmy – it’s who I am. Cas was the first to call me that because Emmanuel was too complicated to say as a small child and everyone always called him Cassie so he wanted to give me a pet name as well.”

Dean chuckled at the story and said, “That’s sweet. What do your names mean? I mean, which angel are you named after?”

“Emmanuel is a guardian angel and Castiel the angel of Thursday.”

Now Dean let out a snort and laughed slightly. “Why? Because you were made on a Thursday?”

The two have asked themselves that before and always came up with no answer, but the thought was entertaining so they kept assuming that it must’ve been exactly that. “I guess. We never got to know, though.” There was a short pause where they just smiled to themselves before Jimmy broke it by asking, “Are you named after anyone?”

“Yeah, Sammy after our grandfather, Samuel, and I was named after our grandmother, Deanna – maternal.”

Jimmy could only hold it back for so long until his laughter just broke free and he had to stop tattooing for a second. “Your grandmother?!”

“Yeah, yeah I know. Hilarious that I was named after a woman!” Dean feigned anger and pretended to be hurt at Jimmy’s amusement but he saw the way the corners of his lips twitched as he tried to fight his own smile. “Okay, stop that and ask your next question.”

Jimmy grinned and went back to coloring Dean’s tattoo. God, he was falling fast for this wonderful green-eyed. “Alright. If you could change one thing about you, what would it be?”

Dean let out a long sigh at that and took his time to think of an answer. “Looks or antics or anything?”

“Anything.”

“God, I dunno. What don’t I want to change…?” This made Jimmy sad once more and he saved the information that Dean had really low self-esteem to change it in the future, hopefully. “Uh, my mind? I guess I’d like to change the way I think. Start seeing the world as others do.”

“How would that be?”

“More positive… like everything could be a new chance, see the good in this world, see the good in my life…”

He didn’t like where this was going because it got dark real fast and he wanted so bad to show Dean the good in this world. He wanted him to love his life and be glad to live. Jimmy just didn’t feel entitled to do so, yet. “Thanks for being so open to me, Dean. It means a lot.” He saw Dean nodding out of the corner of his eye and he smiled faintly. “If I could change anything about me, it would be the fact that I don’t care enough. I mean, not that I don’t care about this life or earth, the environment or future, nothing like that… It’s just that I don’t have many things I like or deeply care for. Not like you, for example.”

“What do you mean? Don’t you love your job?”

“I like it, it’s what I wanna do but I don’t love it. It’s not what fills me with excitement every time I talk about it and then there’s you who talks about his car with this twinkle in his eyes and so much enthusiasm and love. Or Cas who loves taking care of his Subs, who finds himself in it. You two put everything you have into the things you love… I don’t have that kind of passion inside me. I’ve never even cared enough for someone to go out on dates with before.”

“I don’t think that’s a bad thing, Jimmy, I mean, you love Cas and that’s all that matters, isn’t it? That you have family, someone that loves and cares for you?”

“I guess it is.”

“And, before I met you two, I’ve never dated either. Last night was actually the first time I went on a date, didn’t even know how to dress and had to ask Sammy for help.” He smiled sheepishly and met Jimmy’s eyes for a moment.

“That’s soothing.” Now that Dean had mentioned Cas, Jimmy had to think about what the two of them had talked about before. “Speaking of Cas… did you two talk about this arrangement?”

Nodding, Dean said, “Yeah, I really like your brother, Jimmy. He’s sweet and I have a connection to him that I’ve never had with anyone before…” Jimmy held his breath and concentrated on tattooing Dean, convincing himself that if he had something else to do, the next words wouldn’t hurt that much. “But I also like you and I told him that I felt the same connection towards you that I feel for him and that I wanted to get to know you two better. Cas told me it was okay for him if I went out with you, too. I hope you don’t have a problem with that because I really don’t want to stop seeing any of you.”

Jimmy’s smile was wide and happy when he met Dean’s eyes and he couldn’t believe his luck. “Of course, I’m okay with that! As long as no one gets left behind, I’d love to have the chance, Dean.”

“Really?”

He sounded shy and unsure and that made Jimmy’s smile turn into a fond one. “Yes, really. Why else would I ask you those questions if I wasn’t interested in you?” Dean merely blushed and Jimmy went back to his task. “Next one: dogs or cats?”

“Cats are cute… although I’m allergic to them, so I’d go with dogs.”

“Cas would’ve chosen cats, I’m more of a dog person, though.” He thought about the next thing to ask. “Oh, what’s one thing people always misunderstand about you?”

“It’s less about me than about what I chose to be.” At that, Jimmy gave him a questioning look, so Dean explained, “When I tell people that I’m a sexual submissive because we had a conversation about sex or anything, they either think I do it professionally like you,” Jimmy did not blush, _no_ , “or that I have problems with my gender. I don’t even know why they assume that, just because I like to give up power and control, doesn’t mean I feel less like a man. I don’t want to be a woman and I feel good with my body and myself. I just like to be dominated, I dunno why it’s always connected to women. Like there is nothing gender-typical about being a Dom. There are male dominants and there are Dommes, end of the sentence. I mean, I don’t ask women I meet that work as engineers or anything if they feel manly because of what they do…”

“Yeah, I totally get that. Cas told me that you were a Sub and I always connect a shit ton of strength and trust with that, not just someone femme. I think what you do is beautiful, Dean. You give yourself and someone else like Cas a way out of the stress and help them find themselves again. It’s amazing. And besides that, it sounds fucking hot as well.”

Chuckling, Dean breathed out, “Yeah… thanks… I’ve never seen it as anything I give my partners, rather than something they give me.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, I need it to let go. My mind gets kinda loud sometimes and submitting helps turn off the voice inside my head. It frees me from myself and makes me feel good. I never considered that I could have the same effect on Doms. But, I guess it makes sense. When I think about what Cas told me, that he needs control over someone else to stay sane and feel needed, it’s reasonable. But some people only do it for sexual gratification or because they have the urge to hurt someone or be used or hurt…”

Dean’s voice got rough at the end and he went silent after that. “Dean, do you have a partner right now?” The blonde nodded and Jimmy asked, “Is it a normal relationship?”

“No. It’s… we only meet for scenes in a club. There’s nothing romantic between us and we don’t see each other outside of scenes.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Jimmy could see Dean’s right hand grip his thigh. He didn’t want to ask but he had to know, “Is he one of those guys that only do it to get off? Does he hurt you?”

There was a barely audible sigh and then, “Yes, but no, he doesn’t hurt me. He’s got some issues accepting my limits, but it’s alright.”

Now Jimmy was concerned and wondered if Cas knew about this. “I don’t know a lot about BDSM, but being mindful of and respecting each other’s limits should be one of the most important rules there, shouldn’t it?”

“It’s more complicated than that…”

Understanding that Dean didn’t want to talk about it any further, Jimmy changed the topic by saying, “What people misunderstand about me the most is mainly shallow. When I tell people I’m an artist, there come assumptions like ‘so you’re a writer’ or ‘cool, your voice is made for singing’. They see me and don’t assume that I am a tattoo artist because I don’t look like one when dressed in clothes. As soon as I take them off, though, their minds are changed.”

“Why don’t you have tattoos on more visible areas like arms or hands or anything?”

“It’s not that I want to hide them, I just don’t want people to see the tattoos but not me. They’re biased the moment they see the ink and label you a punk or something. I don’t want that, so I chose to keep them for those people I want them to be seen by only. That’s what fascinates me about you. Cas told me you were wearing a wristband that says you’re a submissive and it’s just amazing how openly you deal with it and that you show everyone who you are. It takes a lot of strength.”

“Thanks. I guess if I wear this, I give people a warning before they approach me, and while I have normal sex with hookups, it sometimes tends to get a bit rougher. It’s just to give them a heads-up most of the time.”

“I get that. Still, it’s impressive.” There were so many impressive and interesting things about Dean and Jimmy wanted to get to know and experience them all. He found himself wanting to have rough sex with Dean but also to take his time. And he found himself wanting to be a Dom to give Dean what he needed, which was the weirdest thing. While he’d never had any problems with Cas being one, he had never been interested to see if he’d like it as well. _Until now._ He would really give this a chance if Dean wanted to and that was a huge thing for Jimmy.

He had to cut off the train of thoughts there in order to be able to concentrate on finishing Dean’s tattoo, so he asked another question. “What’s the craziest or best thing you’ve ever done or when have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?”

“Oh, man… I guess it was this one time I stole Baby when it was still my father’s. I had been having some driving lessons with a friend and I was pretty good back then already. Dad had been gone for a few days and we were tired of sitting around the whole day. It had been Fourth of July and I wanted Sam to see the stars and light a few fireworks, so the day before, I stole some sparklers and the night of Fourth of July, Sammy and I just drove and drove until we were out of the city and had a clear view of the night sky. We just sat there on the hood of Baby and watched the sky as if it was the most beautiful thing in the world… and that night it was. It was magical and Sam and I had lighted the fireworks I stole and I swear, I’ve never seen him this happy before. He had his arms above his head and he laughed the whole time as if it had been his first firework ever. And there was this spark in his eyes… God, he was so happy. It was worth the trouble and seeing Sammy that happy had made me smile the entire drive home, even as we passed a police car that luckily didn’t notice there was a ten-year-old sleeping in the backseat and a fourteen-year-old driving the car at 3 am.”

While Dean told this story, Jimmy felt an unfamiliar tug in his chest, his heart was beating faster without any reason and he smiled fondly the whole time. He forgot about everyone else but the two of them and seeing Dean’s eyes spark with joy at the memory made him want to give this precious man the entire world. His eyes stung with _something_ and his throat was suddenly very dry as he felt all those emotions rushing through his body. Dean was the most wonderful and mesmerizing person Jimmy had ever met and listening to him talk about the presumably most precious moment of his life made him want to cry and protect him from any harm and all that darkness in this world at all costs. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and smiled, whispering, “That was beautiful, Dean. Thank you for sharing this with me.”

Dean just smiled, seemingly still in thought, and Jimmy didn’t know what his answer would be. But he didn’t have to find one because, after a moment of silence, Dean asked, “What about you?”

“The best thing I’ve ever done? Walking down that street when you did.” He didn’t dare look at Dean right now because his words meant so much, were so big, he felt like he exposed himself to Dean and it felt good but also frightening. His words were unmistakable and they expressed what he felt for Dean. Jimmy never thought it possible, and even though he had never felt like that before, those feelings were obvious and could only mean one thing: he was in love with Dean.

Jimmy fell in love with this incredible man and he could pinpoint the exact moment it happened – in his tattoo studio as Dean told him a story about his brother and himself and revealed with it just who he was to Jimmy. Dean had so much love to give and he deserved so much more than life had thus far provided him. Jimmy didn’t know for sure what it was that happened in his past but he presumed it had something to do with his father and with the voice in his head and that it was bad.

Barely above a breath, Dean whispered, “I’m just a stranger, how can you say that?” His eyes were glassy and Jimmy was glad he had an excuse to look away because he didn’t want to see Dean like this.

“When you talk, Dean, I get more from you than just stories or words. I get to know you and the Dean I know so far is an amazing and wonderful person. I feel this connection, too, Dean. You make me feel like no one else. And remember what I told you about being passionate and that I didn’t care about anything that much? Well, I feel like I’m starting to care about you, Dean, and that means a hell of a lot to me.”

“Jimmy, I…” Dean seemingly searched for words to say since his mouth opened and closed. “You and Cas… you make me feel special. This changes things…”

“Yeah…”

After that, Dean just watched Jimmy finish his tattoo in comfortable silence. It didn’t take that long, just about 30 minutes, and Jimmy was happy with the outcome. It looked great on Dean’s chest and he couldn’t wait to show him the result in the mirror.

As Jimmy put back the machine and took care of the needle and ink cups, Dean sat up straight on the chair and stretched his arms out above his head, arching his back and craning his neck as he let out a satisfied sigh at letting go of the soreness. He grabbed his shirt and put his feet on the ground to stand upright.

“You wanna see it?” He reached out his hand and grabbed Dean’s arm to guide him towards the vertical full-length mirror in the room. Nodding, Dean let himself be positioned in front of it and smiled as he saw the tattoo on his chest. The pure happiness on his face and in his eyes made Jimmy’s knees go weak and Dean turned back around to envelop him into a warm embrace.

“Thank you, it’s great, Jimmy. You’re amazing.” Jimmy barely kept from whining when he felt Dean loosen the hug and turn away again to take another look at him in the mirror with a big smile.

“I’m glad you like it.”

A happy noise escaped his throat when Dean hugged him once more and he wrapped his arms around Dean’s bare upper body and rested his hands on his shoulder blades, nestling his face into the crook of Dean’s neck and tracing his skin with his nose just slightly to take in his unique smell. They lingered like that just a little too long for it to be a casual hug and Jimmy enjoyed every second of it.

“Thank you, Jimmy. Not just for the tat, for being you and talking to me. It was really nice.” Dean withdrew from the hug to lock his eyes onto Jimmy’s. “I feel closer to you, now… somehow.”

Jimmy smiled brightly and flicked his eyes down to Dean’s lips to see they were parted in a soft smile of his own. And that was all Jimmy needed to lean in and close the distance between their mouths and kiss Dean. He started slow, merely probing lips brushing against Dean’s softly while his hands slowly traveled up his arms, his fingers tracing lines on his skin. But when the blonde let out a shaking breath against his lips, Jimmy gripped Dean by his biceps and pulled him in to devour him in a hot and messy kiss. Their tongues wrestled with each other until Dean let his be subsided by Jimmy’s and he had full access to Dean’s wonderful mouth. He slid in and took everything he needed from Dean which made the green-eyed moan into the kiss and it got so rough, that their teeth clicked together as Jimmy dove in deeper. Dean had his hand buried in Jimmy’s hair, the other pressing Jimmy’s body against his own at the small of his back.

When the first rush of arousal and adrenaline was gone, Jimmy managed to turn it down a notch and savor the way Dean’s lips slid against his in a velvety glide and how Dean held on to his bottom lip every time Jimmy’s lips threatened to pull away, trapping it between his own.

He was smiling like an idiot by the time they parted and when he saw Dean’s lips all pink and swollen, Jimmy pecked his lips once more just because he could. Dean grinned lazily and went with Jimmy as he tugged on his hand to lead him back towards the chair. He sat down on it again as Jimmy went to grab the ointment, bandage, and tape and watched with a tiny smile on his lips as first the ointment, then the bandage was applied and got taped up to secure it.

Dean took on his shirt after that and went to get his leather jacket to take it on as well, still smiling the same way.

Pointing at Dean’s now covered chest, Jimmy asked, “You know how to take care of that?”

“I have your number. I can just ask.”

That made him smile and peck Dean’s lips once again. God, he could imagine doing this every day. “Good, I’ll count on it.”

“You do that,” he said with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows and smiled cheekily.

“Have a nice day, Dean.” Jimmy didn’t know what to do now. He really wanted to kiss Dean again but didn’t know if it was still okay for him and he also wanted to ask him to stay, but what for?

Stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket, Dean said, “You, too.” And then he gave him a sweet smile and a short nod, then slowly turned around and left the studio, leaving behind a stupidly smiling Jimmy. 

_Yup_ , Dean was so done. He was gone on two guys at the same time and they were twins. How did this all happen again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mild panic attack, non-con kissing because of identity confusion


	4. December – Part Three

“Hey, where’ve you been?”

Dean closed the door and started to take off his jacket, meeting Sam’s eyes with a smile. “I got a tattoo!”

Sam’s eyes bugged out in surprise and he asked, “What?”

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to get one and then I met Cas’ twin brother, who turned out to be a tattoo artist, and I just knew I wanted him to do it.” His brother’s expression turned even more confused and his brows knitted together as he obviously tried to make sense of any of the things Dean said. It made him grin even wider.

“Wait… what?” He lifted his hand as if telling Dean to stop and asked, “Cas’ twin?”

Laughing, Dean crossed the room to where Sam stood like an idiot and patted his shoulder teasingly. “Yeah, twin, Sammy.” Right at this moment, Jessica came out of the kitchen and smiled at him.

“Dean! Hey, we’ve missed you this morning.” She was wearing sweat pants and one of Sam’s oversized t-shirts, rubbing her face as she held a glass of water in the other hand. Sam didn’t look any different.

Dean merely smirked and cocked an eyebrow at her accusingly. “You sure ‘bout that? I didn’t leave _that_ early to miss the sounds of you two knocking boots.”

“Dean!”

Turning to his brother, Dean said, “What?! Is it my fault that the walls are this thin? Believe me, after that, I practically ran outta here. Grabbed some cheap breakfast and walked around town a bit.” Sam and Dean sat down on the couch then and Jessica followed with a slight blush on her cheeks. “You guys, it’s your place, do whatever you wanna, I don’t care. I’m just glad you’ll have me at all.”

“Of course, Dean, we’d never spend the holidays without you.” Jess smiled and patted Dean’s knee reassuringly, which made Dean smile slightly and he nodded.

“So, tell us about that twin,” Sam, the ever-curious one, urged and raised his eyebrows at him, waiting for an explanation.

Now confused as well, Jess turned her head towards Dean and asked, “Twin?”

Sighing, Dean propped his elbows up onto his knees and bent forward slightly, letting his intertwined hands fall between his legs. “You remember Cas?” At their concurrent nodding, Dean went on, “Good. I was out to find someplace to eat three days ago and I crossed paths with Cas’ twin. Of course, I didn’t know that then and kissed the guy but he didn’t kiss back, saying he hadn’t met me before but knew I was Dean. He told me his name was Jimmy and that he was Cas’ twin brother – identical, obviously. And then he brought me to a place where I had that amazing burger and pie and we talked, which’s how I figured he was a tattooist.”

There was a crease between her eyebrows as Jessica frowned, matching her expression with Sammy’s, who asked, “So, how did you get a tattoo?”

“He gave me his number, I gave him mine to give Cas and that’s how I met him today to get my skin inked after I had a date with Cas yesterday.” He smiled timidly and rubbed his hands, staring at them in thought – he was not ready for Sam’s teasing in that matter.

“Wait, a date? Like a _date_ date?”

Meeting Sammy’s excited face, Dean teased, “No, Sam, we spent some time in a sex dungeon…” Now, Sam’s expression turned into his typical ‘don’t give me that shit’ bitchface and Dean rolled his eyes. “Yes, we went out, had dinner and talked like normal people.”

“Dean, you went on your first date! How was it? Was he a gentleman?” Sammy’s enthusiasm was almost creepy if it wasn’t for the fact that Dean knew his brother was only looking out for him and simultaneously happy to hear Dean finally thought someone compatible enough to go on a date with.

“God, cool it, Sammy.” He had to hide his smile from his brother. “It was nice. Cas is an interesting guy and we talked a lot. I feel like I know him so much better than before and he was sweet and considerate. I even told him about mom…” Dean averted his eyes because even he knew how much that meant – he never told anyone about Mary or talked about his childhood that much generally. So yeah, he didn’t want to see the emotions in Sam’s big puppy eyes or his fond expression.

But then, there was a hand on his shoulder, caressing, and Sam’s voice was quiet and content as he said, “Dean, you know how happy it makes me to hear that you’ve finally met someone you could imagine sharing all that with, but be careful, okay? It’s not that I don’t trust your taste in partners, it’s just… I don’t want him to be another Michael who just uses you.”

“He doesn’t use me, Sam! And Cas isn’t like that, at all. If anything, the guy’s the most caring and honest man I’ve ever met… oh, right next to his brother!” Dean didn’t want to get louder at the end, but he did – as if two amazing guys that are interested in him was just frustrating. Maybe it even was… Dean had never met anyone he cared about or someone who gave a crap about him more than just how good he was in bringing them pleasure. And now he had met two at once and they were his dreams come true but he didn’t deserve any of them. He wanted to tell that to his heart because, even if this was all new to Dean, he knew he was falling for both… _falling fast and hard._ And that couldn’t be right, could it?

As if on an emotional roller coaster, Sam’s expression was back to confused again as he asked, “So, it wasn’t only about the tattoo? What, are you dating both now?”

Running a hand down his face to hide his sigh, Dean met his brother’s eyes and asked, “Would it be so bad? Does it make me a jerk that I wanna get to know them both because they both make me feel special? Am I a bad person for not choosing one?” His eyes welled up and he hated himself. “Tell me I'm selfish, tell me I’m the worst! Please, yell at me! Anything!” His breathing got faster as the first tears fell and Dean didn’t even know why he was breaking apart right now. He ought to be happy, he had met two men that turned his life upside down in a good way. He should’ve been excited to meet them again and he should’ve been thankful for meeting them in the first place. People like him didn’t get to be happy… So, why was he crying? Why did he always have to be such a coward?

Jessica and Sam were at him the moment the first tear fell, Sam kneeling between his legs and grabbing his shoulders to ground him and Jess at his side, rubbing his back soothingly. “Hey, Dean… shhh… what went wrong right now? Tell us. What are you thinking? Where did your head go just now?”

Dean would like to have known that himself.

“If you say they’re amazing and you wanna get to know them both and they’re fine with it, which I think they are – unless they wouldn’t have asked you out in the first place… – then why do you think you have done something wrong? Why do you think we should yell at you? If they make you feel good, why would wanting to date them both make you selfish even though they both agree to it?” Dean couldn’t see his brother’s face since his eyes were way too misty, but he didn’t need to. He knew Sam had big, concerned eyes and a crease between his brows.

“Dean,” Sammy gave his shoulders a squeeze, “talk to us, please.”

He didn’t deserve their care either. They spent way too much time worrying about him and Dean hated himself for that. He was such a liability…

“Okay…” Sighing, Sam suggested, “We’ll do the talking and you just nod or shake your head as an answer.”

Dean didn’t say anything, too occupied by his constructive thoughts. The voice got louder again and he wanted to drown it out with booze or submitting to someone. But he couldn’t have any of that now…

“Do they know about each other dating you?”

A nod.

“Are they willing to continue dating you, knowing the other does, too?”

Another nod.

“Do you feel different about Cas and Jimmy?”

It took a while for Dean to register but he managed to shake his head.

“So, you feel the same around them? Have the same connection towards them?”

Dean nodded once again.

“Do they feel the same?”

At first, Dean wanted to shake his head, because _how could anyone?_ Then he wanted to shrug but he knew for sure how they felt because they told him that much, so he nodded slightly.

“Then why does that make you selfish or bad? Why does it make you feel like you deserve to be punished for that?”

Finally, Dean lifted his head from where it was buried in his hands and looked at his brother. Sam’s expression was guarded but Dean could still see the worry in his eyes – they never lied. “I dunno…” His voice was raspy and quiet when he spoke and it was more a breath than actual words.

“Don’t listen to it, Dean. You deserve this and it doesn’t make you any less than the loving and caring person that you are. If you wanna date both, then do it. Jess and I don’t care about how many people you date or end up being in a relationship with, as long as they treat you right and make you feel good.” Sam’s face cleared a bit and there was a blush creeping up to his cheeks. “I mean, there are polyamorous relationships out there that are healthy and just like any other. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should have one, I’m just saying that, if it should come to it, we’d be happy for you, Dean. You know we would be the last ones to judge.”

Sam loosened his grip on Dean’s shoulders a bit and gave him an almost wobbly, reassuring smile. Sniffing once, Dean tried to return it with a tug at the corners of his mouth and realized his tears had stopped falling. He rubbed his skin dry and gave Jess a tiny, thankful smile.

Letting go completely of Dean’s shoulders, Sam sat back and stared up at him with an expectant expression. “You feeling better now?”

“Yeah…” He sighed heavily. “God, I’m sorry. I don’t know what the Hell’s wrong with me lately… thanks for talking me out of it.”

Sam got to his feet and stood upright in front of him again, patting his shoulder once. “Sure, any time.” A small, sincere smile tugged at his lips and he asked, “You wanna show us that ink now?”

Dean smiled at his brother and nodded, excited to show off Jimmy’s art. _Yeah_ , he didn’t deserve any of them… and his mood swings started to fucking annoy him.

Cas was lonely… that must’ve been it. He’d felt like this the entire day after he got to spend time with Dean last night. He missed his voice and laugh and the warmth of his body so close to his own. It was weird. But he wanted to see him again, he wanted Dean to show him his new tattoo that he must have gotten by now.

It was close to 6 pm by the time Castiel grabbed his cell and searched his contacts for Dean’s ID. When he found it, he hovered above _call_ with his thumb for a moment, considering if he should really do this… Controlling himself with Dean around got harder every time they saw each other and that would have only been the third time. Castiel didn’t want to do anything he would regret afterward and he didn’t want Dean to regret it even less. But he was weak and wanted to see Dean again, so he pressed _call_ and held his phone close to his ear, anticipation already making itself present.

Listening to the ringback tone had Castiel thinking he made a mistake and was about to hang up and stop annoying Dean when he heard the familiar beep that indicated his call was being picked up and his heart nearly jumped out of his thorax. The next thing he knew was that deep voice rumbling through the connection, calling out his name in a rasp that had him shivering with excitement. _“Cas?”_

“Hello, Dean.” He started fiddling with the hem of his shirt and was glad that Dean wasn’t there to see what a big bundle of nerves he was. “I was wondering if you’d like to come by?” Cas was barely even able to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

_“Yeah, sure. Should I bring anything?”_

Castiel was very close to saying _Yes, your toothbrush_ , when he realized that this might be too much to ask and so replied, “No, unless you want to bring anything, of course.”

_“Okay, yeah… sure. When should I get there?”_

_Now._ “Would 8 pm be alright?” He caught himself biting his nail and ripped his hand away from his face. Castiel had never before been close to being so nervous that he started biting his nails. Even though it was a good kind of nervous. He was completely acting out of character and didn’t know why. Last night, when he was waiting for Dean in the restaurant, Castiel wasn’t this anxious.

_“Sure. I’ll be there. You just gotta text me the address.”_

“Of course.” Even he could hear the smile in his voice and he wondered if Dean did too.

“ _See you then, Cas.”_

With a bright smile, Cas answered, “I’ll see you later, Dean,” and ended their call before he could embarrass himself.

When he put down his cellphone after messaging Dean his address and took a deep breath, Castiel realized just how much he still had to do until 8. He started with cleaning up his entire apartment, bedroom included _because you never know_ , even though he made sure to keep it clean the whole time – call it stress cleaning. This took him about 40 minutes and when he was ready and there were no dirty clothes thrown over his loveseat or empty water bottles laying around any longer, Castiel took a moment to think about what he would want to do with Dean around and decided to prepare dinner. Which was why the next thing he did was preparing the meal, chopping some vegetables he had left in the fridge and seasoning the steak to make a simple sheet pan steak with veggies, and while it was in the oven for 15 minutes, Castiel rushed into the bathroom and threw his clothes into the laundry basket, stepping into the shower and cleansing himself for Dean. At least he would be smelling fresh when the green-eyed arrived.

While showering, Castiel avoided touching himself as best as possible because he really didn’t want to start anything and risk dinner getting burnt, so it only took him a few minutes until he stepped out and wrapped and secured a towel around his hips, walking out of the room to check on the food. When he opened the oven, Cas was met with a delicious smell of steak and veggies as the steam hit his face. Closing it again, he decided he still had enough time to get dressed and set the table, which was exactly what he did then.

Before he could stress over what to wear, Cas just picked a grey t-shirt and black pants and put them on after he slipped on his boxers and socks. With the now useless towel, he rubbed his wet hair dry while walking into the bathroom to check himself in the mirror. He looked presentable even though his hair was a mess and so he threw his towel on top of the laundry stack and went back into the kitchen to grab silverware and plates for two. Just for a second, Castiel entertained the idea of setting up a candle in the middle of the table but then he thought it

would be too much and just kept it down to cutlery.

He was just about to check on the food again when someone knocked at his door and he practically ran to open it. Green locked onto blue as Castiel opened the door and for a moment, they merely stood there and got lost in each other’s eyes. Dean’s were unbelievably green and vibrant and it was almost a shock to Castiel when it was shielded as Dean blinked. It was also the moment Castiel realized what they were doing and cleared his throat, smiling as he welcomed, “Dean! Come in.”

“Hey.” He smiled sweetly.

Stepping aside to let Dean in, Castiel watched as the blonde took a hesitant step into the apartment, probably remembering the last time they were in here together. He looked good – _no_ , he looked breathtaking in a brown leather jacket, a white shirt and dark jeans. Jimmy must’ve loved this look just as much as Cas if he got to see Dean like this as well. The blonde had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket and his shoulders were a bit stiff as he held himself straight. But as soon as Castiel closed the door and turned around, Dean relaxed and took off his boots and jacket, adding them to Cas’ shoes and the rack where his own jackets rested.

Castiel found himself asking what to do once more. The last time they saw each other, they hugged. He wasn’t sure if he should take the step that separated them from each other and close the gap so he could wrap his arms around him and take in his scent, or if he should just tell him to get comfortable. But he couldn’t decide so they just ended up standing there, facing each other and doing their staring-thing until Dean flicked his eyes down to his lips and Cas didn’t care any longer, closing the space between them. But not to hug Dean. He went straight for Dean’s mouth and captured his invitingly plump lips in a heartfelt and fervent kiss. It wasn’t chaste or dirty, the kiss was passionate and it felt so intimate standing this close to the blonde and moving his lips against Dean’s with closed eyes, both hands finding his hips to hold on to. His fingers caressed Dean’s bared skin lightly where his shirt had risen and he reveled in the feel of Dean’s warm and big hands that were resting at his elbows and how their warmth seeped into his skin like pure energy. Making out with Dean in his apartment felt more domestic than anything Cas had ever done with previous partners.

They kept chasing each other’s taste until they broke apart for a few breaths and resumed kissing as if being apart from one another wasn’t an option as soon as their lungs allowed it. This time, they used more tongue and it got even more passionate and enthusiastic. And when Cas playfully grazed Dean’s bottom lip with his teeth, he could feel more than hear the rumble of his chest as he moaned slightly. It encouraged Cas to bite down on Dean’s bottom lip and tug at it just enough to coax another lovely sound out of Dean. He alternated between kissing and nibbling then, smiling against Dean’s lips as he felt the blonde gripping his arms tightly.

When they withdrew from each other this time, they didn’t start kissing again but kept standing the way they were. Dean’s chest was pressed against his and they could feel each other’s breaths fall onto their spit-slick lips. Especially Dean’s were shining beautifully and Cas couldn’t stop himself from letting his right hand wander up his body until it cupped the side of Dean’s face, his thumb sliding over the heated skin of his pink bottom lip in a feather-soft touch. His hot breath danced across Castiel’s thumb in a soundless moan as he pulled his lip down with his thumb just as lightly. Cas watched as Dean’s eyes fluttered closed and the sight stirred something inside of him. That something turned out to be arousal as Dean took Castiel’s wrist in his own hand and brushed his lips against Cas’ thumb in a whisper. It was so enticing, that Castiel let his hand slip down and he blinked a few times.

Dean merely smiled at him lazily but mischievously at the same time and Cas pecked his lips once more before taking a step back, no matter how much his body protested the thought. “Smells nice. What is it?”

 _Right_ , the food. Castiel had completely forgotten about that. “It’s uh,” he started walking into the kitchen, Dean following after him, “sheet pan steak with broccoli and tomatoes and ball peppers.” Then, he opened the oven and was relieved to see that the vegetables were just a little bit browner than usual but not black and inedible. Dean was hiding a smile when Cas turned around and he tilted his head and cocked a brow at him questioningly.

Trying to peek into the oven, Dean explained, “Jimmy told me that you liked to cook a bit healthier.”

“He wasn’t wrong. I thought it would be a simple dinner for us both, I hope that’s alright?” Grabbing the sheet with a towel to keep his hand from getting burned, Castiel carefully turned around and put it onto the pot coasters on the table.

“No, it’s fine… it’s just that… you could’ve told me we were having dinner, then I could’ve helped, you know.” Dean was rubbing the back of his neck nervously as he stared down at the food. “I feel useless if everything’s done for me.”

Castiel grabbed Dean’s chin tenderly and stroked his thumb along the line of his bottom lip to shush him. “Well, if you want to make this work, you’ll have to accept that I want to do those things _for_ you. I’ll spoil you and make you feel treasured, Dean.” He let his hand slip into Dean’s short hair behind his ear, thumb now caressing his cheek. There was a slight blush on his skin and he looked almost abashed as Cas closed the gap between their lips to give him a chaste kiss. When they parted, Castiel whispered, “Come now, the food’s getting cold.”

Slowly, Dean nodded and followed after Cas, who waited at the table for Dean to sit down first so he could serve him his meal. Dean smiled the entire time and when Castiel sat down and served his own meal, his grin lit up his whole face. He didn’t know why Dean was this happy, but it made Cas smile, too, and it warmed his heart, which was beating pretty fast.

They started digging in after that and Castiel was relieved to hear Dean enjoying his food if those sweet little moans escaping his lips were anything to go by. Listening to Dean eat was the best and worst thing at once because concentrating on eating while excitement stirred inside him and made his penis perch up and demand attention was just irritating and frustrating.

He managed to keep it down, though, and constantly repeated that Dean was merely enjoying his food in his head and that his body should stop responding to something so innocent. Castiel had always been the master of his own body and emotions, he could control himself and as a Dom, he should.

After dinner, Dean insisted that he wash the dishes and because he couldn’t convince him to just leave it so he could take care of it in the morning, Castiel grabbed a towel and dried what Dean had cleaned. Since they were only two people, they didn’t have to clean that much and it didn’t take very long until Castiel led Dean into his living room and told him to get comfortable on the couch.

“Do you want to watch a movie? I have Netflix, although I don’t really watch it.” He took a seat next to Dean on the sofa and grabbed the remote to turn on the TV. They had some space between each other but not enough that Cas didn’t feel Dean’s body heat anymore. It was like he was radiating off warmth and it felt amazing. Cas wanted to just slide over and press his front against him to take it all in.

“Yeah, sure.” Dean leaned back against the cushion and smiled sheepishly.

Nodding, Cas asked, “Anything you’d like to watch?” He wished for so much more to happen than just watching a movie together this night, but Castiel took everything he got and was grateful for that. Even though his bed was just a room away and his drawer was filled with condoms and lube and he wanted to spend it all on Dean.

The blonde turned to look at him then and for just a crazy moment, Castiel thought Dean might feel it, too. The anticipation, the hot burn in his gut, the electricity between them… And when Cas locked his gaze onto Dean’s, the thought wasn’t that crazy after all, because his eyes were dark as his widening pupils cast a shadow on his irises. God, he wanted so bad to push Dean into the cushion and ravish him, and when the green-eyed gulped audibly, Castiel was sure Dean knew exactly what he was thinking about.

But Cas kept trying to convince himself that this would be too early and that it could ruin everything. And he did not want to ruin things with Dean. His mind, though, kept replying to this thought with the argument that this wouldn’t be too early since they’ve already been freaking close to having sex after they had just met a few hours before. And it sounded reasonable. _Damn_ his mind.

The moment Dean realized that they’ve been staring again, he cleared his throat and said, “Whatever you wanna watch, just choose anything,” ripping Castiel out of his debate.

He nodded, still a bit lost though, and just chose whatever movie was first on his list. Before Cas settled down completely though, he stood and walked into the kitchen, coming back with two glasses and a bottle of water. He took his seat again and because he felt like he couldn’t concentrate if he didn’t do it, Cas sat down closer to Dean now. So close that their shoulders brushed whenever one of them moved, which had goosebumps rising on his skin. He fixed Dean and himself a glass of water and reached one out to the blonde, who took it with a warm smile and downed its contents in one go, setting it back on the coffee table in front of them.

Castiel wasn’t at all interested in watching a movie when there was this stunning man right next to him, so he turned further around to look at Dean and asked, “Did you visit Jimmy’s studio to get your tattoo today?”

Dean met his gaze and nodded. “Yeah, I did. Jimmy was great and it looks amazing. We talked so much during it, that it seemed like it took less than an hour to be done.”

There was just a tiny bit of jealousy churning at his insides when Cas answered, “That’s great. Sounds like you had a nice time.” But even if it was tiny, it was still there and Castiel wasn’t one to get jealous this fast and above all not of Jimmy. His brother’s happiness had always been the one thing he supported, no matter how. And if Dean made him happy, which he obviously did, then how could Cas be jealous of that?

Dean hummed once, grinning to himself, and said, “Yeah… he told me about his first tattoo and that it was a rebellious phase.” Castiel chuckled and watched as Dean turned around to face him fully, crossing his legs on the cushion. “And he told me about that Christmas dinner you flat out told your mom you were a Dom.”

He slowly let his right hand wander to Castiel’s left knee right next to Dean’s hip since Castiel still had this leg hanging from the couch, foot resting on the floor. The touch made Cas shudder with arousal and he locked his eyes onto Dean’s and teased, “Did he?”

Now Dean’s fingers teased their way up very slowly, following the seam of his pants and tracing invisible patterns on the fabric, drawing Cas’ attention to them. As he watched them dance across his thigh intently, Castiel wished he didn’t wear pants more than ever at that moment. “Uh-huh.” With dilated pupils, Cas looked Dean into the eyes once more and saw that his pupils were almost fully blown as well. “I have’ta say… I think that’s really impressive.”

Dean’s big, beautiful hand was resting on his thigh now, squeezing once, and it was so close to his crotch that Castiel swore he could feel its warmth up until the tip of his cock. Or it was just his arousal…

Swallowing thickly, Castiel asked in a low, gravelly voice, “What else did you two talk about?”

When Dean answered, his voice was low and seductive and he said it slowly. “He agreed to this arrangement… that I wanna go out with you both.” Cas’ heart started beating faster and this got overwhelming all too fast. He wanted control. “And he suggested that you, him, Sammy, Jess, and I spend New Year’s Eve together at Long Beach…”

Without having noticed, Castiel’s forefinger traced the seam of Dean’s shirt collar and let the blonde’s warmth seep through the fabric and into his skin. Dean was breathing heavier now and Castiel only then realized that their faces were very close to each other. He was still gripping his thigh.

“You’d like that?” The idea sounded wonderful and Castiel made a mental note to thank Jimmy for that another time.

“Yeah…” Dean got distracted by Cas’ finger tracing a long, slow line along the jugular vein on the side of his neck, taking in the feel of his smooth skin until he reached his jaw and ran his finger back down to his shirt collar just as slowly. His neck was absolutely stunning and Castiel would give anything to put his collar around it in the future when Dean trusted him enough to be his. “I’ve never seen the ocean, you know.”

This made Cas stop in his tracks for a second and look at Dean with sincere eyes. “Never?” Dean shook his head as an answer and Castiel resumed his tracing. Whispering, Cas suggested, “Then we should totally do this.” The smile that followed was more than Castiel could bare and his hand sneaked its way to the back of Dean’s neck so he could pull his face close to his own with no force at all until their lips met.

They went slow this time, really taking in the feel of their lips against each other and how they gave in when pressing into them. Castiel savored the way Dean’s soft bottom lip fit so perfectly between his and how easy it was to just pull it away from his teeth to make him moan. He savored his taste as he licked inside his mouth after Dean so beautifully willingly opened up for him, just waiting for Cas’ tongue to subdue his. Dean was the best kisser he had ever had and Castiel couldn’t even imagine going back to what he had before, after knowing Dean’s touch.

There was no going back.

And then Dean practically crawled into his lap as the kiss got more heated and more sounds were pulled past Dean’s lips. Castiel gripped his hips tightly and pressed Dean’s crotch against his belly, throwing his head back as the blonde was now a bit taller than him and Cas had to reach his mouth like that. The room was filled with wet kissing noises and the movie was completely forgotten about as they practically devoured each other.

By the time they had to stop in order to breathe, Cas was sweating slightly and his cock was almost half hard in his pants, hoping Dean couldn’t feel it yet. _God,_ he really needed control soon or this would get out of hand. Out of breath, he ordered, “Show me your tattoo, Dean.”

When Dean grabbed the seam of his shirt and started to pull it off, Castiel helped him take it off above his head and was almost trembling with excitement to see more of him. As soon as the shirt hit the floor and was out of the way, Castiel let his hands roam over his now bared upper body and took in the feel of the plains and valleys his muscles created as Cas ran his hands from Dean’s side to his middle and up to his pecs. He was careful not to come too close to his new tattoo, which looked amazing. The skin around it was still a bit red and as he concentrated on it, Castiel was excited to find freckles littering his chest and shoulders. He was so mesmerized by them, that for a moment, he forgot to answer. When he was coherent again, all Cas could say to that was “wow,” that was more a breath than anything else.

“You like it?” Cas merely nodded enthusiastically at that and parted his hands to slide them parallel to each other from the middle of his chest to the sides, right underneath the edge of his pectoral muscles. While doing so, Castiel let his thumbs graze Dean’s nipples, which perked up immediately at the attention, and he smiled happily. His mouth watered slightly at the sight of it and he leaned down to close his lips around one pink-brownish nob, his hands holding on to Dean’s biceps. Teasingly, Castiel swiped his tongue over the nipple and smiled at the sharp breath Dean sucked in at that. He repeated the action and the sound just got more beautiful, especially so when Cas closed his teeth around it just hard enough to feel pleasurable but not enough to hurt him, because Dean shuddered and threw his head back as a long groan escaped his lips.

He tugged at it just faintly and let it pop out of his mouth, smirking as Dean moaned again. “God, you’re very responsive, Dean.” And that was only his nipple… Castiel could feel his cock harden at the mere thought of the sounds Dean would make if he licked and teased something else entirely. Just to tease Dean some more, Castiel repeated his ministrations on the other nipple until Dean started squirming in his lap and Cas took pity on him. When he went back to his neck and started leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses along the same line that he traced with his finger, Dean arched his neck to expose it to him but then made a sound between pleasure and pain and Cas stopped, meeting Dean’s eyes worriedly. “Are you hurt?”

Dean whispered, “No,” and started to close the space between them to kiss Cas again, but Castiel used his grip on Dean’s biceps to push him back tenderly. He fixed the blonde with a stern look and waited for an explanation.

“My shoulder’s just a bit stiff after holding still this long today. It’s okay.” He dove in for a kiss once more and this time, Castiel didn’t stop him.

The kiss got so heated and passionate, that it left them panting when they broke apart and Castiel ordered, “Turn around, Dean,” barely above a whisper. It amazed him how easily Dean obeyed his demands and it made him pay attention to his, by now, more than half-mast cock in his pants. There was no chance Dean didn’t feel him poking into the small of his back as Cas moved closer to him and started massaging Dean’s stiff shoulders. As soon as the blonde knew he was getting a massage, he leaned forward a bit and let his head hang, his breathing evening out, and Castiel was mesmerized by how fast Dean relaxed underneath his hands.

His back was beautiful and muscular, his shoulders broad and covered in light brownish specks. The skin was unmarred except for a few very thin lashes that seemed to be older since the scar was brighter than his skin on his lower back, disappearing into his pants. He wanted to trace them, but Castiel stopped himself from doing so because he was scared to cross a boundary. Instead, he kept massaging Dean’s shoulders, putting enough strength into his hands to knead the tension out of them.

After a while, Dean’s body moved with every stroke of Castiel’s hands and tiny noises escaped his lips as Dean started melting against his body and getting lost in bliss. When he couldn’t feel any knots in his shoulders any longer, Castiel let his hands trail a bit lower and he smiled as massaging Dean’s back like this elicited a moan out of the green-eyed. He could practically see the tension leaving his body and when Cas applied a little bit of pressure right underneath his shoulder blades, Dean made a sound close to purring. It was soul-stirring and intriguing and Castiel didn’t want Dean to ever stop making this lovely noise for him.

So Cas let his hands travel down even further, moving them slowly in a sensuous way to massage the area around his spine and moving them closer to his sides, where Dean squirmed once, then moaned as Cas applied more pressure. “You’re ticklish, aren’t you?”

Dean merely nodded and purred again as Castiel moved his hands down from his waist to his hips and kneaded this part of his back. Cas’ fingers were so close to the hem of Dean’s pants that he brushed the fabric occasionally and after a while, he just couldn’t keep himself from trailing lower and lower until his fingers slid into his jeans and boxers and started kneading Dean’s buttocks. The sound Dean made for Cas then was just intoxicating and he watched, mesmerized, as Dean’s body slackened while he groaned loudly.

It did the trick because now, Castiel was fully hard and his pants were uncomfortable. He couldn’t stop now, so he let his hands wander to his front, hearing Dean suck in a sharp breath, and pulled his zipper down agonizingly slowly. The only thing filling the room was the sound of Dean’s quick breathing, his fly being opened, and the movie playing in the background, but when he slipped his right hand into Dean’s boxers, he couldn’t hear anything but Dean.

As he closed his deft fingers around Dean’s stiff member, Castiel could hear his breath hitching and when he squeezed just once, Dean let out a low moan and his head lolled back on Cas’ shoulder as he probably tried to keep his hips from thrusting into his hand. To help him stay still, Castiel had his other hand holding Dean’s hip and pressing him back against his front, making him feel just how hard Cas was for him.

Castiel didn’t move his hand a bit as he kissed up a trail on his neck open-mouthed and tasted the faintly salty taste of his sweaty skin until he reached his ear. And because he liked to tease, Cas traced the shell of his ear with the tip of his tongue until he stopped at his earlobe and took it between his lips to tug at it just slightly, whispering a question as he let go of it. “Do you want this, Dean?” Cas grinned triumphantly when he heard Dean’s shaky breath and saw the flush on his face and neck, even his ears were rosy now.

On an exhale, Dean whispered, “Yes…”

Smiling, Cas started to move his hand, stroking Dean a few times, before swiping his thumb over his head to collect the pre-cum that had gathered there and used it for a smoother glide. He alternated between stroking, flicking his wrist, which made Dean moan beautifully, and toying with his slit, which was what had the green-eyed rocking his hips up into Castiel’s hand helplessly and moaning wantonly.

Dean’s responses to his touch were the best and Castiel was so filled with euphoria and lust, that it was difficult to concentrate his attention fully on Dean’s cock in his hand and not anything else. But after a while, as the blonde started to moan continuously and tried desperately to move his hips into Cas’ hand, it was almost impossible to do so. Especially when Dean whispered “Cas” in a tiny, pleading and wretched voice. It made him want to hear it again and Castiel was suddenly very desperate to get Dean to lose himself fully, to give his control over to Cas, forget everything that wasn’t Castiel and his touch and this pleasure and bliss he granted him until all Dean could do was scream Castiel’s name as if he was the only one who managed to satisfy him like this. He wanted to replace every memory of touch and pleasure Dean had with his own and make him his – put a collar around his neck to let everyone know just who he belonged to. It was a possessive hunger that reared inside of Castiel’s chest and got stronger the more he thought about this, the more he wanted this. It was stronger than anything he had felt before and all his primal and Dom instincts told him to mark Dean. They wanted him to own the blonde, body and soul. And it would’ve been only fair, considering Dean already owned him like that.

Cas couldn’t think of anything but Dean, the green-eyed occupied his thoughts, dreams, and desires and just thinking about falling in love with someone else seemed impossible, _wrong_. He couldn’t entertain those thoughts and at that moment, Jimmy was all forgotten about. Because Dean’s body was melted against his, head resting on his shoulder, nails digging into his thighs through the fabric of his pants where they pressed against Dean’s own legs and most importantly, Dean was writhing and moaning because Castiel was stroking and pulling on Dean’s permanently leaking cock with his hand.

“Dean…” His lips were pressed against the back of Dean’s neck and he could feel the blonde shudder against his body, his hair standing where Cas’s breath fell to. He was thumbing at his slit once more and Dean was rocking his hips into it as best as he could with Cas holding him back. “Get on your hands and knees.”

Not having to be told twice, Dean hurried to comply. In fact, Dean was so fast, that Castiel didn’t even have the time to pull his hand out of his boxers before Dean arched his back to present his round ass to him on his hands and knees. It was still clad in jeans and when Cas let go of Dean’s cock, which coaxed a sound close to a whine out of Dean, he grabbed the waistband of his jeans and boxers to pull them down in one go so that they pooled around his knees. From his position behind the blonde, Cas could see Dean’s slick and dripping cock hanging heavy and proud between his spread legs and it all but ripped a growl out of Cas, rumbling in his chest. Stroking a hand up and down the length of his back along his spine, Cas whispered, “I’ll be right back, Dean. Don’t move.”

Castiel didn’t want this to be a scene, he didn’t know enough about Dean’s likes and dislikes, but he liked to give orders nonetheless and Dean seemed keen on following them. If he could make Dean feel better with simple tasks, then there was no harm in using this part of his dominant side on Dean just then.

He hurried into the bedroom, opened his drawer and grabbed the bottle of lube and a few condoms, then walked back into the living room and placed down behind Dean on his knees, setting the condoms aside for now, except one. Dean lifted his head from where it was hanging between his arms and looked over his shoulder to tease, “Could’a just used the one I had in my pocket, y’know…”

His speech was more slurred and mumbled than actual words but Cas understood him anyway and grinned mischievously as he gave one of Dean’s perky, round asscheeks a slap and said, “We need more than just one, Dean.”

The blonde went silent after that and let his head fall back between his propped-up arms with a tiny moan, shifting slightly, while Castiel reached around Dean’s legs to resume working his cock over. The other hand was still holding the condom and Cas brought it to his mouth to rip the foliage open with his teeth, listening to Dean’s beautiful, breathless noises. Then Cas let go of his erection once more and grabbed the condom to roll it onto Dean’s stiff cock, which had him gasping. When it was secured, Castiel framed Dean’s ass with both hands and laid a kiss on each of his back dimples and one above his cleft, just above the groove between his buttocks, whispering, “You’re a bottom, aren’t you, Dean?”

“Hmmnn,” was everything Cas got as an answer and he grinned at Dean.

“I need words, sweetheart.” Castiel had to know in order to make him feel good. He couldn’t just take Dean without him liking it, that went against everything Castiel stood for. Consent was one of the most important things during sex.

When he slapped Dean’s other cheek, the blonde almost yelled, “Yes, Sir!”

Chuckling, Castiel reminded, “This isn’t a scene, Dean. I’m Cas…” Even though he wished he was Dean’s Dom right now, but he wanted to make the green-eyed feel good by having ‘conventional’ sex with him tonight, and that was more than he ever wanted with anyone before. Dean was the first he would have sex with, out of a scene, and also the first one he _wanted_ to have sex with, out of one. It was a bit difficult for him not to slip into habits but this was exciting and it felt amazing, so he just went with his gut here.

Nodding rapidly, Dean agreed, “Yeah…”

This made Cas smile contently and he grabbed the bottle of lube, popping open the cap and squeezing some of it into his palm. He covered the fingers of his right hand with the liquid and used the residue on his left one, with which he reached around Dean’s body once more to start slicking up his latex-sheathed cock while the other started tracing his rosy rim in circles with the forefinger. Dean’s breathing got heavier then and it was shaky every time he exhaled loudly.

After Castiel gave Dean some time to adjust to his finger, he put a little more pressure on it and made him moan at the feeling. Cas could feel Dean’s hole slowly relaxing underneath his finger and when he pressed the next time, Cas’ digit slipped in till the first knuckle without resistance. He closed his eyes for a second at the feeling. Dean was hot and soft inside and when the blonde started pressing back onto it, Castiel pushed in entirely and circled it inside him, prodding at his walls carefully.

Dean groaned when Cas pulled his finger out and pushed back in with another one, slowly opening Dean up for himself. He loved this – preparing his partners for his cock so that he’d have no trouble taking them. Dean was by far the most responsive one he had ever had and the way he rocked back onto his fingers and forward into his fist while making those beautiful sounds just for Cas, had him leaking pre-cum into his now way too-tight pants. Castiel felt too hot and he wanted to take off his clothes and start bumping Dean’s pretty ass but he had to take care of Dean first. So he moved his digits in and out of the blonde, fucking him on two fingers and scissoring them inside of him until he could fit a third one as well.

As he kept jerking Dean’s cock and thrusting his fingers into his tight hole, Castiel listened to his rapidly quickening breaths and he knew Dean was close. He wanted to make Dean come like this and used his fingers to gently feel around and locate his sweet-spot, and when he pressed down on a bulb of tissue, Dean yelled something incoherent and Cas smiled triumphantly as he found it.

At first, Castiel alternated between thrusting and crooking his fingers to hit his prostate every now and then, but as Dean got more erratic, Cas decided to jerk him faster and stop moving his fingers. Instead, he just kept pressing down on his pleasure gland until Dean jerked once, throwing his head back, and yelled “ _Cas_!” as he orgasmed, his entire body going slack. Castiel could feel Dean spasming as his hot cum filled the condom. He had just rolled it onto Dean to prevent the couch from getting sticky with their activities – if they would have been in bed, Cas would’ve loved to feel it covering his skin.

He slowly pulled his fingers back out and watched Dean’s chest heaving for a second before he grabbed his hips and helped him turn onto his back and lay down on the cushions. It was the first time Cas got to see Dean’s face during their act of passion and he was stunned into silence by it for a moment. Dean looked mesmerizing, his eyes were glistening and drooping, glazed over with bliss, his pupils blown and there was a tiny, satisfied grin on his lips. His face, ears and chest were flushed, accentuating his freckles, and there was a thin sheen of sweat covering his body. When Castiel locked his eyes onto Dean’s, the blonde blinked up at him lazily and it was so breathtaking, it literally took away Cas’ breath for a second until he gained enough control to calm himself.

Not able to resist, Castiel leaned down to kiss Dean tenderly, then placed open-mouthed kisses along his jaw, leaving a trail of them down his body until he could lick into his belly button and further down, placing kisses along his pelvis. “Are you okay?”

There were a few sluggish nods as an answer and Castiel smiled. He grabbed hold of the condom and slowly pulled it off of Dean’s cock, careful not to slop any of its contents. Putting it away, Castiel looked back at Dean and saw that the man peered at him through half-lidded eyes as Cas pulled down Dean’s jeans and boxers entirely and threw them into a corner of the room, leaving the blonde completely naked before him. There was no resistance at all from the green-eyed and Castiel admired how drowsy _– touch drunk_ – Dean was. And when Castiel took off his own shirt and shifted a bit so that he had a comfortable position between Dean’s spread legs, Dean let his hands wander all over his upper body, traveling up his arms, to the center of his chest and down his stomach. His hands kept wandering then and Castiel realized that Dean liked to touch and to be touched, _obviously_.

Because there was still his pulsing erection trapped in his pants, Cas opened his fly and reached into his boxers to pull out his throbbing cock. Dean’s eyes widened a bit, going from drowsy to concentrated, as he watched Castiel give himself a few strokes and gripped both of Castiel’s legs next to his thighs where he stood kneeling above Dean. Cas could see Dean’s eyes following every movement of his hand and he looked intriguing like that, but when there was a slightly disappointed expression on his face, Castiel slowed down a bit.

“What’re y’doing?” It was quiet and Dean’s voice was raspy but it still got Castiel to stop.

“I could fin–”

Dean interrupted Cas’ suggestion and said, “Why’d you prep me if you’re not gonna use me…?”

This had Castiel staring at Dean with wide eyes in surprise because he thought of something entirely different when Dean asked what he was doing. He thought he wasn’t interested in watching Cas bring himself to orgasm but not that he wanted Cas to penetrate him. “You want me to?”

The blonde breathed out a happy “Hell yes” at that and tightened his grip on Cas’ thighs.

“I thought you were too exhausted for that because you’re all drowsy…” He had really thought so after he saw his blissed-out face.

Chuckling, Dean said, “Cas, if there’s anything you should know ‘bout me, is that I’m always like this after sex… guess I’m just full of euphoria and too blissed out to move.” He squeezed Cas’ legs once, grinning mischievously. “C’mon, use that giant of a dick t’make me come a second time, I know you wanna. Lemme feel it, Cas, make me yours. Show me who I belong to and– _mghnnn_!"

Castiel smirked as he thrust his fingers back inside, three at once, and started tapping his prostate and bumping them in and out of his beautiful hole. He added a fourth one not long after that and when he scissored them inside of Dean often enough to know the blonde was able to take him now, Cas pulled his fingers out and wiped them off on his pants, which he pulled down and took off along with his boxers to be able to move freely. 

As Cas shifted a bit, Dean folded his legs and bent them towards his own belly, spreading them even wider to expose his open and waiting entrance to Castiel’s hungry gaze. Seeing Dean like that felt like something devout – even though that was truly blasphemous. It was way more private and significant than with any of Cas’ previous partners and he felt grateful that the green-eyed allowed him this. To have Castiel fill such a vulnerable part of Dean with himself, to reach into him so deeply and make him feel so good. It was a privilege, really. Castiel wanted to savor every moment of it.

So he bent down and grabbed Dean’s legs, placing the backs of his knees on each of his own shoulders until his feet hung freely behind his back and keeping him open like this. Dean’s breath hitched once more when Cas brushed his lips against the sensitive skin of his testicles, sucking the right sac into his mouth at first, then mouthing at the left and traveling upwards. Castiel made sure to graze the vein on the underside of his cock while doing so, making Dean moan and writhe with pleasure, and decided to stop teasing him after giving his head a soft kiss right over the slit. While withdrawing slowly, Cas peppered kisses into the soft skin of both of Dean’s inner thighs and placed his legs down again.

Dean kept them bent and open automatically and watched as Castiel grabbed another condom and the lubricant once more. He ripped open the foliage and rolled the rubber onto his stiff and throbbing cock, then opened the bottle of lube and poured some into his palm, which he used to cover his cock with. What was left of it on his palm got wiped off on his thigh and Castiel placed his hands on each of Dean’s hips and pulled him against his own body. Then Cas took himself in hand and guided his cock to Dean’s entrance, resting his tip against Dean’s hole and taking a few steadying breaths.

Before he made a move, Castiel took in Dean’s face and got lost in his eyes for a moment until the blonde squeezed his ass once with his feet and he was brought back to reality. He went so incredibly slow as he pressed forward and sunk inside Dean, savoring every inch. It was unbelievably tight and hot and there was a hint of pressure at first, but after Dean relaxed his body and stopped pushing his feet into Cas’ buttocks, the head of Castiel’s cock popped past Dean’s rim and he suddenly let go of the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in. The blonde held back a moan at the sensation and Cas whispered, “Please, don’t do that.” His voice was low and hoarse and he sounded so absolutely wrecked, that even he didn’t recognize it himself.

It almost took massive effort to hold still right now and take in all the sensations. The feeling of Dean’s rim gripping him so tight right underneath the head like a goddamn vice had Cas trembling, and he wasn’t even all the way inside. “Let me hear you, Dean. Don’t ever hold back what’s mine.” The sounds Dean made were only for him tonight and Castiel didn’t want to miss any of it.

Lifting his hips so that Castiel sunk in another couple of inches into him, Dean shot back, “Then make me scream.”

Castiel had to admit that this bratty side of Dean was a huge turn on and he growled as he adjusted his death-grip on Dean’s hips – which would probably leave bruises tomorrow – and pushed inside in one smooth go, punching all the air out of Dean. He could only imagine what the green-eyed would be like in a scene and the thought freaking excited Cas.

Dean couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of Castiel sinking so deeply into him, so completely – filling his most vulnerable and intimate part. And Castiel fully understood. Dean felt fucking amazing even with a condom and he couldn’t even entertain thoughts of how it would feel without a barrier between his pulsing flesh and Dean’s soft inner walls without shaking apart at that moment. His balls pressed against Dean’s asscheeks and the feel of his silken skin against Dean’s soft globes, not to mention his tight, hot, perfect channel sheathing him like he was created to fit inside, made Castiel try to reach even deeper and deeper.

Before he started to pull out and thrust back in, Castiel let his gaze wander over Dean’s flushed skin again, taking in the, at once, pleasure-depraved and relaxed expression on his face. Dean met his eyes then and Cas felt his heart jump painfully at his beauty. “God, Dean… You’re beautiful. This is amazing, _you_ ’re amazing.”

At that, Dean let out something close to a whine and hid his eyes in the crook of his elbow as he draped his arm over his heated face. “Fuck, Cas…” He took a few deep breaths and Castiel could feel it from where they were connected, which was the hottest thing ever. “You can’t jus’ say shit like that when you’re buried in my ass.”

“Why not?” He pulled out agonizingly slow until he was halfway out, then pushed back in just as slowly as he insisted, “It’s true. I’ve been dreaming of this, imagining this since I laid eyes on you at that party. Having you spread out and bared underneath me, letting me do whatever I want to you… pleasuring you.” Castiel didn’t know why he was still capable of speech when his voice was that wrecked and low and his body shaking with pleasure as he pulled out and then pressed back inside again. 

He started with tight little thrusts as he rutted into Dean, never pulling out more than was absolutely necessary, as if the very idea of ever leaving the welcoming heat of Dean's body ever again was just ridiculous; impossible. Maybe it even was. But after a while, Castiel changed the pace and took Dean in long, hard thrusts, still holding on to Dean’s hips with both hands. Dean made lovely noise after noise and Castiel wanted to taste them with his tongue, so he bent down and captured Dean’s lips with his own in a searing and heated kiss while thrusting into him again and again.

They had to break apart after a moment to take in some much-needed oxygen and after that, it was just two open mouths moving wetly against one another while tasting each other’s breath. But Castiel wanted more than that, he needed to be even closer to Dean. So he reached out and hauled the blonde up into his arms, settling Dean on his lap with his cock buried deep inside him. Groaning at the change of angle, Dean draped his arms around Castiel's neck lazily, resting his sweaty forehead against Cas’ shoulder. His mouth was slightly parted so that Castiel could feel his warm breath fanning out over his skin and it sent shivers down his spine while he stilled and enjoyed their proximity and Dean’s solid weight pressed against his body for a moment.

Wrapping an arm around his waist while the other rested on his back, keeping Dean’s pliant and supple body in place with its hand buried in his sweat-dampened, spiky hair, Castiel pushed his nose into the crook of Dean’s neck and mouthed at his skin. His teeth grazed Dean’s skin just hard enough to leave a mark for a few seconds, before he started sucking at the spot, suddenly very determined to leave a visible mark there for more than just a night. It had Dean’s head lolling back lazily as a moan was coaxed past his lips.

Then, Cas rocked upwards into Dean’s welcoming body, barely even thrusting into him, merely enjoying the friction of their sweaty bodies, the warmth of Dean locked tight around his cock, all hot and perfect, and the way Dean moaned as his cock rubbed across his prostate in this position. He shifted his hips again, coaxing Dean to move along with him this time and the blonde responded with a roll of his hips and moan after moan, and Cas couldn’t possibly ever get enough of this.

Castiel let Dean bounce on his lap, finding his own pace, and relished the soft, staccato cries that each thrust pulled from his lips. Occasionally, Cas snapped his own hips upwards just to hear a gasp and the louder cry of pleasure fall from Dean’s lips.

When he withdrew his face from where it was pressed into Dean’s neck, Castiel stole a look at the blonde’s face and saw that Dean’s eyes were half-lidded just as they had been before, but still not entirely closed. His gaze was unfocused, he didn’t look Cas in the eye or at Cas at all. Thinking about it, ever since Castiel told him he was beautiful, Dean hadn’t met his eyes and he wondered if it might have something to do with it. Of course, it could’ve also just been coincidence and it had nothing to do with what he said because it was a habit of Dean’s not to lock eyes on someone else’s during sex or it made him uncomfortable. But Cas wanted to know for sure, so he grabbed Dean’s shoulders and gently shoved him down onto the couch to lay him flat on his back once more, hiking his legs above his shoulders and bending him in half so that Castiel was able to fuck into him properly. Each thrust moved the blonde along the sofa and the leather cushions underneath made sounds of protest, accompanied by a litany of swears and sharp, abrupt and loud moans being punched out of Dean.

One of Dean’s hands remained on Cas’ shoulder, short nails digging into his flesh and certainly leaving crescent-shaped indents on his skin, which made Castiel’s lust and hunger inflame. The other hand was hanging from the couch, gripping the frame of the sofa tightly.

As Castiel stared at Dean’s face, taking in his pink mouth with spit shiny lips and his flushed cheeks, he remembered why he changed position, even if being able to openly stare at him like this was wonderful, because Dean was a vision, truly. This fucked-out look suited him perfectly. But Cas wanted Dean to finally look at him, so he demanded, “Look at me,” as he breathed in his ear while tracing the shell with the tip of his tongue. Dean shuddered and Castiel repeated, “Look at me, Dean. Don’t hide.” It took a while and some more thrusting, but then cloudy, dark eyes drifted to his own and green locked onto blue, while Cas pushed inside with fervor, punching another gasp out of Dean.

From this moment on, Dean kept eye contact this whole time while Cas took him with rapidly increasing thrusts, getting faster as he got closer to the edge and the pleasure pooling in his gut became more overwhelming. While Dean met every single one of them with his own roll of his hips, filling the room with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, leather squeaking underneath them and his sweet cries of pleasure every time Castiel pushed inside at the right angle and hit home. And while Cas placed his hands on his chest to feel the rhythm of Dean’s rapid heartbeat underneath warm skin. Dean didn’t break their heated gaze.

Everything about this was breathtaking and amazing and Castiel had never felt more at home than locked inside of Dean, no matter how cheesy that sounded.

Dean was the first to come and this time, Castiel had the pleasure of feeling his hot cum hitting his stomach, even though he was distracted by the way Dean shouted his name and by the feeling of his body spasming around him, squeezing Cas’ cock almost to the point where it hurt. But it was what tipped him over the edge and triggered his own orgasm. Throughout it, Dean kept clenching down around Castiel, as if trying to milk him of everything he could possibly give, and Cas wished he had been bare so he would have been able to mark Dean from the inside by shooting his cum into him and covering his velvet walls with the sticky product of their passion.

Floating in post-orgasmic bliss and euphoria, Castiel collapsed on top of Dean, careful not to pull out of the green-eyed just yet, and carefully rested his chest on Dean’s, feeling it move with every breath and his heart pounding underneath. While Cas started peppering Dean’s face with sloppy but affectionate kisses, – which was a trait he had developed over the time he’d been a Dom – the blonde went completely slack and didn’t move at all. It worried him at first but when he looked at Dean, Castiel realized he was just thoroughly blissed-out and it was heartwarming to watch him roll his eyes lazily while trying to keep them open and focus on something, anything. There was a content, tiny smile tugging at his lips and he looked so stunning, Castiel didn’t want to let him go ever again.

He brushed a strand of hair from Dean’s forehead and kissed the spot, his lips lingering there a bit longer than accustomed. His mind was running a million miles a minute with thoughts of how amazing it would be to have him as his Sub. Cas imagined he’d be going into subspace pretty fast if he was like this after ‘vanilla’ sex and the thought made his pulse quicken, affection spreading in his chest, making his heart swell.

It took a while for Dean to come back to him completely, Castiel giving a weak roll of his hips every now and then until Dean blinked sleepily at him and groaned. It elicited a slight squelching sound and a weak, unintentional clench of Dean’s hole. Cas only did it as a reminder to Dean that Castiel was still within him, that their bodies were still united, intertwined, and that right now, Dean was all his and now one else’s. 

Their skin was sticky where Dean’s cum started to cool off on their bellies, which were pressed against each other since Cas laid flat on Dean with his front, chest against chest, and stomach against stomach. Dean’s legs were sprawled out next to them now, almost draped over Cas’ shoulders while Castiel was still buried inside of Dean with no intention of pulling out just now – Castiel had no idea why. One arm rested on the cushion right next to Dean’s body, the other had its elbow propped up on the couch and its hand placed at Dean’s head, fingers carding through his hair.

After a while of silence except for their breathing and the TV, Castiel whispered, “You were amazing, Dean.”

The blonde huffed a small laugh and said, “I didn’t do much of anything.” He sounded sleepy and Castiel could not only see the smile, but also hear it.

“Oh, you did…” When Dean opened his mouth to argue again, Castiel cocked a brow at him and shot him a heated glare. This had Dean’s lips snapping together and a slight blush creeping up to his cheeks, which made Cas smirk triumphantly. He gave another lazy thrust inside Dean, reminding him of their connection, and the blonde gasped, his eyelids fluttering and body stiffening.

With a sly grin, Dean teased, “You always stay inside afterward?” His expression turned into a mischievous one then, and Castiel thought he’d clamp down around him as retort. What he didn’t expect Dean to do, though, was snake a hand between their bodies and feel where Cas rested inside of him. He let his finger trace his rim, stretched around Castiel’s cock, and smiled lazily at him, letting his hand fall back to where it was before.

It made a tingling sensation of revived pleasure run down Cas’ spine and he shuddered, breathing out, “No” as an answer and locking his eyes onto Dean’s. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Why now?”

“I’m not sure… every time I think about it, my body tells me it’s wrong to pull out.” He couldn’t possibly explain it right. It was like every cell of his body protested the thought alone and pulling out was nearly impossible. But then he thought of Dean and his eyes widened as he asked, “Should I do so?” It hadn’t even come to his mind that this could be uncomfortable for Dean. He felt bad for it and averted his eyes, about to shift and pull out.

But Dean wrapped his legs around Cas’ waist and pressed his feet into the gloves of his ass to keep Castiel in place. When he met Dean’s eyes again, the blonde whispered, “Stay.”

A content smile formed on his lips and Castiel placed a kiss on Dean’s mouth. “You feel perfect, Dean.”

The green-eyed breathed out an affirmative, head nodding lazily, and said, “You fill me up so nice, Cas…”

It was the best thing Dean could have said and Castiel practically beamed at him with pride. “Yeah?”

“Uh-hmmm…” There was a moment of silence where Cas merely grinned at Dean and the blonde smiled back until Dean grinned sweetly and said, “You have a freckle…”

Taken aback by that, Cas frowned and asked, “Where?”

“Above your nipple… one single, tiny freckle. ‘s cute.” As Castiel propped himself up on his elbows and raised his chest off from Dean’s, the green-eyed touched the freckle with his forefinger and circled it, smiling softly. “There.”

Nodding, Cas agreed with a breathless, “Yeah.”

Dean’s brows creased and he seemed to be thinking about something, before he asked, “Does Jimmy have that, too?”

This made Castiel chuckle and he answered, “No.” Then he used his left hand to frame Dean’s face and caress his cheek with his thumb.

The blonde mumbled something like “Not identical, then…” and Castiel laughed quietly.

After that, Dean’s expression changed, his smile faltered and his eyes were unfocussed. He looked deep in thought and woeful and Castiel didn’t know why, all of a sudden. “Is there something on your mind?” He received a small nod from Dean and Cas could feel his pulse quicken even though his heart felt heavy and a strange feeling close to distress started churning his insides. His thoughts wandered to unwanted places and he found himself panicking. Dean was about to realize what a big mistake it was to sleep with Cas…

When he spoke again, his voice was thick and rich with emotion and it was a bit trembling. “Do you regret this?” Just asking this question hurt like a dagger to his guts but Cas needed to know.

Dean’s eyes turned sad and Castiel swore he could feel his heart sink deeper at that. He was quiet for a moment, and when he answered, his voice was small and rough. “No.” Castiel had never felt this relieved about anything before and he took in a steadying breath to calm his wildly beating heart. “I feel bad…” Before Cas could freak out about this, Dean went on, “…not about this, _us_. I feel bad because I don’t feel bad about it but then I feel as if I should… I don’t even make any sense.” Dean took a few breaths himself and Castiel waited for him to go on. He sighed heavily and explained, “I care about Jimmy just as much as I care about you, Cas. I feel the same for him and I don’t wanna let this go, neither of you. But he deserves better than this… He deserved better than me sleeping with his brother while going out with him. I mean, just this morning, I was in his studio and we kissed and talked…” He closed his eyes and admitted, “It’s just that… as much as I don’t wanna ruin things with him or hurt him, I don’t feel bad about us. What does that make me?”

“Only human,” Cas answered, even though it had been a rhetorical question. “I know what you’re trying to say, Dean. I understand. Jimmy is my brother and I love him, deeply. But I can’t find it in myself to feel bad about us, either, Dean. Or to feel sorry for Jimmy. I can’t, Dean. I could never regret something that feels so pure. How can anything feel so good and right but be wrong?” He scrubbed his face once, then sighed. “Sex like this was never really an option for me, Dean. Not with who I am and especially ever since I knew how powerful it could be as a Dom/Sub dynamic. Even before, it was never enough. But having sex with you, Dean, made me feel whole. Like being inside you is the cure to all. You made me feel content and satisfied and stilled a part deep inside of me that only ever got sated with control, through dominating my partners.” Castiel let his thumb stroke across Dean’s cheek again and whispered, “So, as much as I love my brother, I don’t ever want to _not_ feel like this again. I cannot regret this or feel bad about us, ever. And I never want to let you go again, so long as you want to stay, Dean.”

Quietly, Dean said, “Me neither… I know I’m selfish, Cas, and I’m so sorry... You both deserve better, but I don’t wanna let any of you go.”

Castiel let the meaning of those words sink for a moment, then answered, “Dean, I’m selfish, too. Didn’t you listen? You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I wouldn’t just let this go, wouldn’t give this up, for anything. Not even Jimmy.” God, he was horrible.

“What now?” It was barely even a whisper, and Dean asked again, “What’re we gonna do now…?”

Sighing, Cas admitted, “I don’t know.”

They went quiet after that, occasionally meeting each other’s gazes and letting their eyes linger there. Castiel cuddled closer to Dean, wrapping him in his arms as far as it was possible in their current position and limited space. He had his eyes focussed on Dean’s face, taking in his features, when he asked, “Do you want to go to bed?” At first, Dean just stared at him, unblinking, then he frowned and gave Cas a quizzical look, so he asked, “What?”

“You want me to stay the night?” He sounded disbelieving, as if the mere idea of Castiel wanting Dean to sleep with him in his bed was plain crazy.

“I’d love you to, Dean.” It took a while for Dean to give him an answer but when a small, shy smile graced his lips and he nodded once, Castiel thought he couldn’t be happier right now.

Carefully, Castiel propped himself up on his arms and pulled out as slowly and tenderly as possible to prevent from hurting Dean, even though leaving the safety and warmth of his body was the last thing he wanted to do. He watched as his cock slipped free and how Dean’s now-empty hole clenched down around nothing but thin air at the loss. Cas had to take in the sight for a moment, savor the way it looked all loose and puffy. Though not only Dean’s thoroughly fucked ass was a beautiful vision, but also Dean’s soft cock stuck to his belly where it had been trapped between his and Cas’ body for so long, covered in a few stripes of dried cum. That reminded Castiel of his own cock and he carefully pulled off the condom and grabbed a tissue to wrap it up inside of it.

He met Dean’s eyes and said, “I’ll be right back. Stay here.” Then Cas took the used rubbers, disposed of them in the kitchen, throwing them in the trash, and walked into the bathroom to grab a cloth and hold it under warm water until it was completely wet. He wrung the cloth until it wasn’t dripping any longer and hurried back into the living room where he found Dean in the same position as he had left him in. Smiling sweetly, Castiel crouched next to Dean in front of the sofa and searched his face for any indication that Cas wasn’t allowed to do this as he took the cloth to gently rub his skin clean. But there was none, Dean merely shot him a grateful and content smile and closed his eyes as Cas rid his stomach of his cum, then traveled lower and tenderly wiped off his inner thighs before gently cleaning Dean’s cock and ass. Once he took care of Dean, Castiel turned to wipe off his own stomach and length.

After he brought back the cloth into the bathroom, Cas walked into his bedroom to grab two pairs of boxer shorts and went back to Dean, reaching out a pair and smiling at him. While he took on his own, Castiel watched as Dean slowly sat up straight with a hiss and placed his feet on the floor to stand next to Castiel, who was feeling a primal part of himself being satisfied at seeing Dean in his own underwear and knowing the blonde would still feel him for a while.

They went into the bathroom then, after they turned off the TV, Castiel giving Dean a spare toothbrush and constantly sparing glances at the green-eyed when he thought he wouldn’t notice while brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed. This felt way more domestic than it should have, considering they met three times total. But Cas didn’t care at all, led Dean to his bedroom, and smiled brightly when the blonde asked which side was his as he stood there in front of Castiel’s bed and stared at it shyly. Since Cas didn’t really have a side, they ended up in the same position they had been the night they met – Dean spread out on the right side of his bed and Cas pressed against his back with his chest, arms wrapped around Dean’s frame and their legs tangled.

Castiel relished Dean’s warmth and pressed his face into the back of his neck, breathing him in. Dean smelled of sex and his own delicious scent and Cas couldn’t get enough of that intoxicating mixture. They laid like that for a while, without speaking, until Cas broke the silence by whispering, “Stay, Dean.”

A quiet, sleepy, “What?” came from the blonde and Castiel realized he had almost fallen asleep.

“Stay with me, Dean. I don’t mean here in this bed or California in general, just…” He took a long breath and collected himself. This was important, he needed Dean to know how much he wanted this. “When you get back home, please don’t delete my number or change yours. I feel like I need you and I couldn’t bear not having you in my life after having had the privilege of meeting you, Dean.”

“Cas…”

Tightening his grip around Dean to emphasize his seriousness, Castiel said, “I mean it. We’ve not even met a handful of times and I’ve never felt like this before but I also never want to feel any different. For the first time in my life, I feel like I belong somewhere.”

It was quiet for a second, then Dean breathed out, “I know what you’re saying…” which made Castiel smile and he let out a silent, relieved sigh.

But he needed it to be real, so he prompted, “Then promise me.”

“I promise, Cas… I’ll stay.” His voice was soft and honest.

After that, Castiel listened to Dean’s breathing evening out with a content smile and a heart full of warmth, and it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mild panic attack (but it’s more angst than it is a panic attack)


	5. December – Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, a new chapter!
> 
> Happy new year everyone!

The next morning, Castiel woke up to soft groaning next to him and his brain was just a little too slow to reorient itself in its newly conscious state that it took a while for him to realize he wasn’t the one making these noises. Since he hadn’t felt quite ready enough to open his eyes and face the new day yet, Castiel was slow to turn around on his side and peek at what was in front of him through the slits of his half-lidded eyes. When he did, though, everything came rushing back in dizzying speed as his gaze fell upon Dean’s sleeping face, and while he let himself muse about their shared, passionate night together, Cas caught his eyes sweeping all over Dean’s resting form shielded from his hungry gaze by the cover. The blonde was laying on his stomach, his face pressed into the pillow to the point that Cas worried he didn’t get enough oxygen, and his arms splayed out next to his head, his hands stuffed underneath it. Even though it wasn’t intentional, this display of muscle and skin had Castiel swallowing rather thickly.

Either it was the noise it made or something else, but Castiel watched Dean stir, his face turning, brows furrowing, and lip twitching just the slightest before the blonde peeked up at him sleepily and bleary-eyed, the green of them glowing like fire in the lingering light of the downing sun, and a soft smile gracing his lips. “You been watching me sleep, Cas?”

“Maybe just a little,” Castiel answered in a quiet, sleep-roughened voice. He snuggled closer to Dean and brushed a strand of hair from his forehead, smiling. In the morning light, his hair and his skin glowed goldenly and his soft smile was so dazzlingly beautiful, that Cas was glad he was laying.

Letting his head fall back into the fluffy pillow with an indignant snort, Dean muffled, “That’s creepy, y’know,” into the fabric and shifted his hips to get into a more comfortable position. The crinkly sounds of the comforter and bedsheets underneath drew Cas’ attention and he watched, delighted, as the fabric traveled down Dean’s body and revealed more skin. The green-eyed had an amazing body and the curve of his ass and spine was just mesmerizing – Castiel found himself entirely enthralled by it until Dean turned his head again and mumbled, “You’re not gonna say anything about it?”

He turned and met Dean’s eyes with a grin, asking, “Well, does it make you uncomfortable?” Even before the blonde started to speak, Cas could see a joke on the tip of his tongue, so he said, “Honestly.”

This had Dean look taken aback for the slightest moment before he regained enough composure to control his facial expression and answered, “I guess not, it’s just… nevermind.” Dean scratched the back of his neck nervously and adverted his eyes.

Seeing the blonde go from cocky to shy was always wonderfully endearing and Castiel chuckled when he said, “Good, because I’m not sorry I did it. There’s nothing wrong with staring, isn’t there?”

“Right,” came the quiet answer, and Cas smiled, watching Dean return to his rather confident self and prop himself up on his elbow. He brushed his lips along the edge of Castiel’s jaw, tracing them down and underneath his chin, and hummed contentedly while the raven-haired enjoyed this new kind of attention. Against his skin, Dean whispered, “I’d kiss you properly, but I think we’ve both got some kinda morning breath going on and I don’t know if you think that’d be gross–”

Before Dean could start to ramble uselessly about something Cas hadn’t ever really put his mind on, Castiel changed the angle of his face and captured Dean’s mouth in a confident kiss, which turned into a heated and passionate one pretty fast. Dean still tasted good to Castiel and he readily pushed his tongue past the blonde’s lips to lick across his teeth and press inside deeper to reach the softer parts of his mouth. It wasn’t until their kiss got so rough that their teeth clinked and moans filled the silence of the room that Dean withdrew from it to take in some much-needed air.

Breathless and dazzled, Cas leaned forward to nose along the slope of Dean’s neck while brushing his lips across the skin and back up to nip his earlobe. The green-eyed hummed softly and when Castiel tugged at the lobe between his teeth before letting go of it again, Dean gasped faintly and Cas saw him worrying his bottom lip. The plush pink flesh caught all of Castiel’s attention and he had half his mind to keep himself from tugging it free from those beautiful white teeth. It was a habit of his that he concentrated on especially as a Dom who liked discipline and obedience, and it was hard for him not to tell Dean he should stop doing it and put those lips and teeth to better use.

Instead, he asked, “How did you sleep?” and lay back down next to Dean, their shoulders brushing and thighs pressing together, especially when Dean stopped propping himself up and fell back into the mattress beside him with a huff.

“Good,” Dean slurred and wiggled his hips to find a better position once more. “Last night was great, Cas,” it took all of his strength not to physically recoil at the unspoken ‘but’ and he suddenly found that he couldn’t look Dean in the eyes, too fascinated with this loose strand of the fabric of his comforter. But then Dean continued to talk and Castiel was almost embarrassed that he had assumed another rejection. “I mean, considering you never… you know? I liked that for a change.”

He was truly ridiculous, Cas knew. Assuming Dean would dump him after what he had said last night was just untrusting in Dean and Castiel felt very sorry for it, even though the blonde didn’t know that Cas had doubted him merely a moment ago. “So, just out of pure curiosity,” he started to say instead of overthinking everything, “would you need vanilla for alteration? I mean to say that there are different types of Subs, of course, but there is a wide range of people that _need_ orders, rules, pain, and the likes.”

Dean seemed to be thinking about that for a moment before he met Cas’ eyes and shrugged. “I can’t say I do, ‘cause I’ve never been in a BDSM relationship with a Dom. I’ve always frequented clubs for that and in between visits, I had the occasional hookup. That’s about it, though.”

“Mmm,” Cas hummed softly, thinking. Without really knowing he did it, Castiel traced his fingers across the skin of Dean’s shoulder in playful patterns, whispering, “If you were mine, I’d give you everything,” before he even realized what he was saying. The moment he did, though, Cas’ eyes almost bugged out and he thought of something to say to make him seem less desperate. God, he must have seemed like a fool. But he didn’t come up with anything useful, so, for a few seconds, he just lay there, taking in the rather uncomfortable silence. At least it was for him.

“You want me so bad, Cas?” It was a joke, obviously. Castiel could tell by the way he said it, could hear the sarcasm laced into those words, and he knew Dean wasn’t making fun of him but at that moment, it sure seemed like it. When Dean spoke again, Cas’ cheeks burned with embarrassment, and what was wrong with him anyway? He never got embarrassed like that. “You’re sweet. Well, actually you’re not, ‘cause you’re freaking hot, but, you know… sweet.”

There was a beat of silence and Dean scratching the back of his neck shyly once more before Cas started laughing at this whole situation. It wasn’t a harsh laugh, per se, but a soft one. The blonde was just so adorably cute sometimes, especially when he was rambling nervously and stumbling over words like that, and Castiel didn’t know why he ever thought he could embarrass himself in front of Dean – this man was the sweetest and most honest person he knew.

Chuckling, Dean jabbed Cas’ shoulder playfully and turned around, looking at him with big, affectionate eyes and asking, “Why are you laughing at me?”

After taking a moment to get back some control, Cas assured, “I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing because of you.”

“Yeah, because that makes such a big difference…” Dean muttered while his cheeks reddened just a little bit.

“It does. And I wasn’t laughing because you said something stupid. Actually, it was very nice to hear that from you… it’s merely the way you said it.” He met Dean’s gaze to see if he was even listening because it was suddenly very quiet in this room.

“What do you mean?”

Collecting all his courage, Castiel admitted, “You’re just unbelievably adorable and handsome at once. And,” he searched for Dean’s hand with his own, grabbing it and bringing it up to his face to press a kiss onto the knuckles, “I truly enjoyed last night as well. Thank you for that.” It was said with a slightly quieter and softer voice, as Cas usually spoke, and he could feel the small smile on his lips.

“Dude, don’t thank me,” Dean laughed but there was warmth and affection in his eyes. “Makes it sound like a big deal… not that it wasn’t, you know…” Sighing, Dean rubbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers before looking at Cas. “God, I’m making an ass outta myself right now. I’m just not good with words, you know?” He let go of a long, steadying breath and sat up straighter, continuing, “I just wanna say how much I like you.”

Castiel watched as the blonde’s cheeks turned even redder and how the tips of his ears tinted pink, and decided that Dean had struggled enough for now. Leaning forward on his arms and half above Dean, Cas made sure to catch those stunning green eyes with his own and held them, saying, “I like you, too,” with a smile widening his lips before bending down and capturing Dean’s mouth in a powerful kiss. The blonde’s lips were heavenly and Cas found himself getting lost in the feel of them against his own once more until they broke apart to breathe. But he hadn't quite gotten enough yet, so Castiel trailed down open-mouthed kisses along the bend of Dean’s neck, traveling to the softer parts of it until his lips reached Dean’s Adam’s apple and licked softly across the slightly salty skin, at which he could feel the blonde’s joyful rumbles coming from his throat. Grinning, Cas mumbled against Dean’s skin, “I swear that, if you were a cat, you'd purr all day and I would gladly spend every minute making you do those lovely sounds for me.”

This made Dean grin widely and he chuckled when he asked, “You like cats, huh?”

“I like you…” He couldn't stop himself from kissing that soft spot behind Dean’s ear, this one spot that he knew already was the blonde’s weakness because he always shuddered when being kissed there. “But cats are cute, yes.”

Before Castiel went back into his previous position, he gave Dean one last lingering kiss, then laid back down beside him and observed his face closely. Dean’s eyelashes looked even longer from this point of view and it was alluring to watch them move with Dean’s eyes. “Jimmy told me you liked cats.”

At first, there was a secret smile on Dean’s face, as if remembering listening to Jimmy say it, but then that smile faded very fast and remaining in its place was merely the memory of it. When Cas gazed at his entire face, there was a guilty, sad expression and a frown. He looked wary and the room was too quiet all of a sudden, so Castiel sat up straight and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Dean didn’t answer for a very long time where his expression got even a little panicked before he schooled his features and masked his worries, hiding them from Cas, who merely sat there, watching, and waited for Dean to explain what was going on. The silence stretched on for so long, that Castiel started to get nervous until Dean breathed out, “What are we going to do now?” It was barely even a whisper and Castiel strained to hear the words. When he did, though, understanding dawned on him and he suddenly felt very stupid. _Right._ Jimmy.

How could he have forgotten about his own twin? Cas just felt so good and free with Dean that he let go of everything around him. He wanted this night to be only about Dean and him and after what happened last night, after he had Dean all to himself, Castiel didn’t want to think about Jimmy and the possibility that his twin might be luckier than him in the end. When Dean made a decision – when he chose one of them. And as much as Cas wished that they could work this out together and both keep Dean, he was being unrealistic and so the solution to just make this a polyamorous relationship was totally out of reach – the blonde would never agree to that, he was sure. So sue him for ignoring all these problems for one perfect night with Dean, what was he supposed to do?

Quietly, and as honest as Cas could be, he answered, “I don’t know.”

Sitting up as well, Dean said, “I meant what I said last night, I don’t regret this, at all. I just feel terrible about Jimmy because I like him as well. He doesn’t deserve this.” Castiel was too deep into thought to answer Dean properly, so he merely nodded and watched as the blonde threw back the covers, placed his feet on the ground, and stood up naked except for the boxer shorts Cas burrowed him. As Dean grabbed his clothes and started to take them on, one after the other, his jaw was set and he was completely silent. And all Cas could do was watch while his eyes started stinging with tears.

Dean was leaving, _again._

It hurt, and while Cas wanted to cry, the urge to slap and hit and scream at Dean was suddenly much stronger. So when Dean had put on almost all of his clothes, only his socks left, Castiel jumped to his feet and locked his eyes onto the blonde’s. “So, you’re just going to leave?”

Lifting his arms up in an angry shrug, Dean said, “What am I supposed to do, Cas?”

“Talk to me! Or talk to Jimmy, just stop running away from your problems, Dean.” His voice was loud and harsh and Cas realized how accusing it sounded the moment those words left his mouth but now there were out in the room and the damage was done. While Castiel knew Dean was good at hiding his emotions and masking them from people around him, the way hurt and shame crossed his features just before he closed off entirely was a shock to him. Where there had been a smile just minutes ago was now a thin line and his eyes – those beautiful, vibrant eyes – were cold and stony, void of any joy. Something deep inside him broke at being looked at like that with those hard green eyes he had fallen in love with and he swore in that second that he would never do anything to cause this reaction again in his life.

Dean looked like he was about to say something but before words could leave his lips, he closed them again and broke eye contact. When Cas spoke again, his voice was rough and quiet, “I’m sorry, Dean.” But the blonde was already opening the door and walking out of the room, not even bothering to get his socks before storming to the front door while picking up his shoes. Castiel sprinted after him, trying to get him to stop, and he grabbed Dean’s arm with his hand firmly as the blonde opened the door to leave. “Please… Dean, I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. I was just frustrated, but not with you.” Dean’s jaw was working as he stared out of the apartment as if Cas wasn’t even there, but Castiel knew he was listening, so he went on, “It’s not true. It’s not what I think of you, I swear. Please just stay.” New tears threatened to spill over and Cas sniffed once.

“No, you’re right.” Looking up, Cas met Dean’s eyes and held his breath. “I do run away from my problems… I always have. So maybe it’s just better for all of us if I did it now – before someone could get seriously hurt when I decide to be a coward again.”

It took a moment for Cas to realized what Dean was implying with that and when he did, his eyes widened in panic and he tightened his grip on Dean’s arm. “No. Dean, we talked about this, haven’t we? This isn’t about us getting hurt, it’s about you opening yourself up to someone. You need to let yourself be cared for. We could do this for you, Dean. We’d love to. You just have to let us! You’re so afraid of commitment, so afraid of yourself, that you’d rather run from something you’ve always longed for instead of facing your demons. That’s not cowardice, it’s lack of faith in yourself.”

Now Dean just looked angry and Cas didn’t know what else to say to make him stay. “You’re not the first to tell me that, Cas.” He ripped his arm free of Cas’ grip and took a step back.

Letting out a frustrated and angry huff, Castiel said, “Then change it! Goddamnit! Let me be there for you! Let me, _us_ , help you change that! Why, for God’s sake, can’t you just accept that we’d love to be the ones to help you get better?! We could make this work. You, Jimmy, and I, no one would be left behind. So what’s your problem here? Help me understand!” He was so close to tugging at his hair and his pulse throbbed with adrenaline.

“You can’t! That’s the fucking problem! You can’t understand because you don’t know me! And if you did, you wouldn’t wanna be with me anyway, and neither would Jimmy. Especially after he gets to know that I slept with his twin while dating you both! God… what did I do?!” Dean was pacing around the space in front of the door now and he had his hands buried in his hair, furiously tugging at some strands, until he suddenly stopped. Cas met his gaze with his own teary eyes then and waited for him to say something. But nothing came for a while.

Then, “I’m the worst.”

“You’re not.”

“I gotta make this right.” Dean freed his hair from his fingers and let them fall back into place at his sides, taking a step back. “I owe you two this much.”

Carefully, Cas asked, “What are you saying?”

“Thank you,” the blonde whispered and gave Castiel a brief, soft kiss before walking away.

Cas watched, taken aback, as Dean left until his back was out of his view and he could no longer hear his heavy footsteps falling down the stairs and chiming through the empty stairwell. But even then he merely stood there, overwhelmed and confused, for God knew how long. Dean could go from happy to sad and angry within seconds and while it wasn’t what truly threw Cas off track, he couldn’t quite seem to understand what triggered it. It had, up until this point, always been something that he had said but Castiel didn’t know what, though he was sure that this time it was the accusation of Dean running away from his problems. And he was certain that some incident of Dean’s past must have still had such a deep and strong influence on his actions and behavior, something that kept connecting him to negative things and led him to go into fight or flight mode in situations just like these.

Whatever it was, Cas wanted to make Dean feel better about it so much but he didn’t know where to start without chasing him away.

And in addition to these deep-rooted problems, there was this new guilt. Dean felt terribly guilty about sleeping with Castiel because of Jimmy, not because he was cheating, but because he thought Jimmy would feel left out and betrayed by his twin.

As if Jimmy wouldn’t jump at the chance to sleep with Dean himself…

“Okay, so what did she say?”

_“I’m not gonna tell you that, J! That’s between girls, you know?”_

Jimmy laughed and put the dirty dishes from his breakfast and lunch into the sink to wash them later with one hand while he held his cell in the other. “Well, if you’re not going to tell me, I can’t be of any help to you, Miss.” There was a sharp and loud laugh at the other end of the line and Jimmy grimaced while chuckling.

He walked out of the kitchen and went into his bedroom to search for his laundry while also watching out for his missing sweats, which were his favorite ones.

_“So… what are you doing today? Are you finally taking your much deserved holidays and stop tattooing for once? Oh! About that, did your crush text you again?”_

While Jimmy almost tripped over a load of dirty shirts and socks, he had enough control over himself to stop himself from sputtering at that, saying, “He is _not_ my ‘crush’.”

_“Come on! You’ve never had one. It would be nice if we finally got to talk about your love life for once instead of mine. And you said you liked him. Do note: Very much!”_

Groaning, Jimmy collected a few pairs of boxer shorts from where they were laying around in the corner and threw them into the laundry basket. God, his apartment was a mess. “I swear, I will never tell you anything again!”

_“Don’t be like that, Jimmy. Who else is gonna give you advice on what to do on your dates?”_

“I’ll ask Cas,” Jimmy muttered as he walked out of his bedroom with the basket tucked under his arm and brought it into the bathroom. When he crossed his hallway, there were a few knocks on his door and he stopped moving for a moment.

_“Yeah, well, if you–”_

“Hey, Charles, I’m gonna have to call you back later, okay? Something came up.” He was sorry to interrupt her so rudely but he hadn’t made any plans with friends for today, so whoever this was, Charlie would have to wait until this was done.

_“Sure, just call whenever.”_

“Will do. Bye, Charlie,” Jimmy said, ending the call, and at the same time, there was a knock again. So he closed the space between himself and the door and unlocked it before opening it. As soon as it was open enough to reveal whoever wanted to see him, Jimmy suddenly felt very ratty in his loose sweats, bare feet, and grey tee.

In front of him stood Dean in all of his six-foot-something glory and he looked handsome, though weary and tense. When he lifted his head to meet Jimmy’s eyes, he could see they were a little red. He didn’t know what to do but stare at Dean in pleasant surprise.

Clearing his throat loudly, Dean averted his eyes again and said, “Remember when you gave me your address if I had any questions or just wanted to talk?” He was fidgeting with his hands and looked generally nervous, especially when he locked his eyes onto Jimmy’s again, who nodded and took a step back, inviting Dean in.

“Yes, sure. I remember.” Opening the door even wider, Jimmy made a welcoming gesture and smiled politely, still very surprised to find Dean at his doorstep.

The blonde took a hesitant step into the apartment before walking inside entirely and taking a look around. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket, his shoulders were tense, and he looked more uncomfortable than Jimmy had ever seen him. Closing the door, he turned around and watched Dean for a moment, wondering what had happened to make him so uneasy. “You want to take off your jacket? This thing must be heavy.”

For his efforts, Jimmy even got a tiny smile from the green-eyed, who pulled out his hands from the pockets of his jacket and started to take it off. He was still wearing the same clothes as he did yesterday, which was another thing that Jimmy observed. “Are you alright? You look… I don’t know… like you could use a day off.”

There was a bitter huff at that and when he met Dean’s eyes once more, there was raw emotion in them, especially guilt as Dean admitted, quietly, “I messed things up, Jimmy.”

He felt like he was stuck to his spot while his mind made up possible things that could’ve happened. “What is it? Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s about you and Cas.”

Holding his breath, Jimmy dared to ask, “How so?”

“I…” Dean scrubbed a hand down his face and let out a shaky breath, “I may have… slept with Cas last night.” There it was. The rejection, the pain of liking someone you can’t have. Jimmy closed his eyes to keep himself from bombarding Dean with questions as to why he chose Cas and not him, but then the blonde went on, “I don’t regret doing it.” It was like Dean had stabbed a knife into his gut and was twisting it to prolong the pain unnecessarily. “But I feel terrible about the fact that we did it without you knowing about it. Because I like you, Jimmy. Very much. I don’t wanna betray you.”

Suddenly, Jimmy let go of the breath he had been holding this entire time and he frowned as he looked at Dean more or less confused.

Dean’s expression was pleading and sad when he said, “And I feel so guilty about all this. I think I messed things up between Cas and me and I really don’t want to leave without trying to make this up again. Please don’t be mad at Cas. Scream at me, punch me. Do whatever you like, but please know that I never wanted to put a wedge between you two. I’m just so terribly stupid, I ruin everything I touch…” The blonde met his eyes for a second, and Jimmy watched as fear and insecurity flit across his stunning face, and he so desperately wanted to go and kiss all that worry and guilt away. Of course, he wasn’t mad at Dean or Castiel. 

And while he thought about how to soothe Dean, Jimmy realized he had closed almost all of the space between them at some point during Dean’s outburst, drawn into the man like a moth to a flame, and his breath had slowed down while he watched all these emotions cross the blonde’s features. The man was so goddamn beautiful, how could he ever be mad at Cas for taking what was offered to him. Dean was stunning, inside and out. And while this little incident and guilt-trip showed Jimmy just how bad Dean’s self-esteem was, it also showed him how honest and loyal he would be to his family and loved ones. It showed him a person he could, and _would_ with high certainty, fall in love with.

Dean was still talking and it sounded urgent and pleading but Jimmy had stopped listening as soon as he had realized that he wanted Dean more than anything in his life. And after quite an intense moment of him merely staring into those open, green eyes, Jimmy just burst forward, stepped up into Dean’s space entirely, pressing their chests together and feeling the long line of the blonde’s hard body against his own, and framed Dean’s face with both hands, tipping his head and pressing a firm kiss to his lips to silence him and swallow his words of apology.

Kissing Dean was amazing, deep and consuming, and Jimmy was on him, mouth pressed against those plush lips and begging for entrance. After the initial shock of the almost attack to his mouth, Dean opened up to him and kissed back with everything he had. Jimmy licked his way into the space between Dean’s parted and inviting lips and their tongues danced and twined together while his lips tingled with the force of it. Before he knew it, a tongue slid in alongside his own, licking sweetly against the roof of his mouth and Jimmy moaned his pleasure against Dean’s hot and skilled muscle that was without doubt ravishing him.

Even if it went against everything inside of him, Jimmy detached his lips from Dean’s to pant heavily into the small space between them, but he collected himself fast enough to tip his head down and nestle his nose just behind Dean’s ear, pressing a kiss to the soft skin there, which made the blonde gasp.

He was about to dive back into another kiss when Dean placed his hands on his chest and pushed him back just slightly, whispering, “Jimmy…” But the blue-eyed tried to ignore the question in that one word and merely kissed Dean again, their teeth clashing and tongues meeting in filthy slides until Dean withdrew his mouth with a grunt and locked his eyes onto Jimmy’s, saying his name again. This time, though, it was a warning, so Jimmy gave him one last peck and had half the mind to not groan “what?” as an answer to Dean’s call.

“Jimmy…” taking a few steadying breaths, Dean continued, “I can’t… I–”

It was only half-hearted, Jimmy knew, because Dean still felt horribly guilty about sleeping with Cas, but that was about everything that held him back from doing this. So Jimmy placed his hands above Dean’s where they were still resting on his chest and cradled them, holding onto his fingers softly while stroking his thumb across his knuckles. Before he spoke, he made sure to capture Dean’s expectant and insecure gaze, then said, “Dean, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you or Cas. You told me about it, so you did nothing wrong. We wanted this arrangement and we all agreed to it. So Dean, please stop worrying and just kiss me already.”

When Jimmy saw that Dean was practically gawking at him with an unreadable expression and a tiny quirk of one corner of his mouth, he lost all of his remaining restraint and practically attacked Dean’s lips in a bruising kiss. The way the blonde had looked at him just now was too much, he was too mesmerizing to comprehend and Jimmy needed him. _God_ , if he was to wait even a bit longer to be with him, to feel him, he’d explode.

They were still standing in the hallway and as much as Jimmy appreciated sex on various surfaces of his furniture, his first time with Dean had to be in his bed, so he started to slowly walk into the direction of his bedroom and backed Dean up against the wall next to its door. The blonde spread his legs a bit from where he was pressed against the wall and Jimmy slotted a thigh between them, starting to undress Dean by popping open the button of his jeans and unzipping them. Only a moment later, Dean’s fingers were on him and grabbed at the hem of Jimmy’s shirt, tugging at it and trying to get it over his head without breaking the kiss, which was oddly adorable but impracticable. So Jimmy broke the kiss for only a second to practically tear it off and over his head, sliding his tongue inside Dean’s mouth as soon as he had it off and pulling down Dean’s jeans.

They were desperate while kissing and soon realized that they won’t be getting far if they kept this up like that, so they stopped kissing long enough to frantically and quickly divest themselves of clothing. And since Jimmy had to only pull down his sweats because he hadn’t been wearing anything else and was now very much naked, he allowed himself a moment to merely watch Dean strip down as well, unlacing his shoes hectically and tugging them off along with his jeans. His shirt was already gone, vacated on the floor where all their other clothes were scattered across, and the only item left on him were his boxers, which he wasted no time on pulling them down and throwing them away.

For a moment, his attention was captured by Dean's cock, flushed, hard, and curving gently up towards his stomach – his wonderfully lean and soft stomach that showed just how hard and fast the blonde was breathing. But his cock, God his cock was amazing. Thick and long and there was something extremely erotic about the fact that he was cleanly shaven. All Jimmy wanted to do right then was put his mouth on it and feel just how smooth and soft his skin was. But then Dean was on him again and nothing could have kept him from making this gorgeous man his own, even if it was only for this short time.

Their bodies were pressed tightly against another and when Dean lifted his left leg to hook his ankle behind the backs of Jimmy’s knees, his hands immediately went to Dean’s perfect, round ass, palmed that soft flesh, and grabbed it firmly after giving it a squeeze at which Dean practically purred in delight, nuzzling even closer into Jimmy’s body while claiming his mouth. The blonde let out a breathy moan as Jimmy bit and tugged at his bottom lip just like Dean had done when they had kissed after their visit to that café.

Unable to contain himself and his burning desire for this man any longer, Jimmy slightly bent while keeping a firm grip on Dean’s ass and lifted him up off the ground. He could feel the smile against his lips as the blonde chuckled slightly at this show of strength and wrapped his arms around his shoulders while he crossed his ankles underneath Jimmy’s butt to steady himself as he was being led into the bedroom. Jimmy was careful not to hurt Dean as he bent down to place him on top of the mattress after his shins hit the bed frame. When he was securely resting on the sheets, though, Jimmy crawled on top of him and took a moment to appreciate Dean’s beautiful body all bared and stretched out in his bed just for him.

A moment spent in silence passed, where all Jimmy could do was gaze down at the beautiful man below him, who seemed to glow. It was destroyed as Dean threw a leg over Jimmy’s side and miraculously managed to flip them over so that their positions were reversed, however, and Jimmy merely watched as the green-eyed placed his legs next to his hips, kneeling above him with a salacious smirk gracing his lips.

All that skin, so close and warm – Jimmy didn’t know where to put his hands and touch first. He wanted to map out his entire body, cover his skin with kisses to show him how appreciated and special he was. But for now, Jimmy merely reached a hand into the half-opened drawer of his nightstand and grabbed a bottle of lube and one of his condoms laying around in it.

When he had met Dean, he imagined their first time to be slow and explorative, getting to know their bodies, but the reality of it was just as frantic and desperate as they had started this all and Jimmy couldn’t even think about going slow without having a stroke or exploding because of all the anticipation and desire he was feeling.

He already had the lubricant opened and was squeezing some of it into his palm while keeping intense eye contact with Dean. Where they weren’t able to stop kissing a moment ago, they seemed to be pretty content merely staring at each other now, as Jimmy warmed the lube with his hands before bringing one of them behind Dean’s back, traveling his slick fingers down to his ass in teasing lines. When he reached the luxurious curve of it, Jimmy stopped and silently asked for permission to go further. Dean seemed to understand the question even without speaking and nodded his consent while his lips parted just slightly to let out a small sigh in anticipation. To give the blonde some time, Jimmy slid his fingers down Dean’s crease, getting his cleft all slick with lube, before dipping down further and sliding them over the puckered muscle of his entrance. Dean’s breath hitched and Jimmy concentrated on helping the blonde relax as he circled his rim for a while and after what felt like a long moment, the muscle gave easily to his prodding finger and he managed to ease one digit inside until its last knuckle stopped it from sinking deeper.

Jimmy captured Dean’s lips in a soft and lazy kiss again as he started to move and circle his finger inside of him to make room for another one, which happened not long after that. By the time he had three deft fingers scissoring and stretching Dean’s hole, his cock was aching with need and Dean moaned every time Jimmy stroked his prostate to keep the blonde squirming above him.

Dean decided to stop the foreplay at this point and grabbed the condom, ripped the foliage open, and let it fall to the sheets while he shifted on top of Jimmy to have a better hold of his flushed cock. When he rolled the rubber down on him with a taunting grin, Jimmy squeezed his eyes shut and threw his head back into the mattress, barely suppressing a moan. Especially when Dean started to give his cock a few strokes that were nice and long but not enough and he had to bite his lip to stop from making a desperate sound. After a moment of trying to get back some control over his body, Jimmy opened his eyes again and found himself pinned by Dean’s hungry, appreciative gaze and satisfied smirk.

Then the blonde widened his legs, shifting forward on his knees a little so that his hole was directly above Jimmy’s cock, and placed his hand on his chest to brace himself while guiding Jimmy’s erection to his entrance with his other hand to ease down on it. He could’ve sworn that this moment took forever – Dean went as slow as possible and every new inch he swallowed of Jimmy sent shocks of euphoria through his entire body. Warmth was flooding him from the pit of his belly to the tips of his fingers and he lifted his shoulders off the mattress to capture Dean’s mouth in a filthy, perfect kiss as soon as the blonde had settled into his lap, sitting down on the tops of Jimmy’s thighs with his velvety cheeks, impaled on his thick cock.

Jimmy let his legs fall apart and angled them a bit to be more comfortable, and Dean groaned at the feel of something so big and so alive inside of him but otherwise stayed completely still above him, letting Jimmy adjust to the feel and weight of him. He didn’t have as much patience as Dean, though, which was why he dug his fingers into Dean's sides and guided him up, sliding him halfway off of his cock, and pressing him back down. They moaned in unison at the first move since they kissed and Jimmy swore that he saw sparks behind his eyes at the pleasure it ensued. His mouth fell open in a breathless moan and Jimmy had no control over the following words leaving his lips as he demanded, “Ride me, Dean.”

The answering groan and the way Dean’s eyelashes fluttered as his eyes closed in pleasure gave Jimmy enough courage to continue and he prompted, “Ride me like you own me, Dean. Like you mean it. Show me how much you want this.”

“You’d love that, huh? Want me to give it to you good?”

Which, to Jimmy’s utter delight, he did. And not just any way, but with a dirty grin as he lifted his body slightly so he could sink back down to move in tauntingly slow circles that had Jimmy at the brink of losing his mind. For a while, Dean continued to drive him crazy with this kind of teasing until he didn’t. The blonde went from languid, taunting circles to low and dirty grinds, and an almost animalistic snarl ripped from Jimmy’s throat as Dean was suddenly bouncing on his cock with breathtaking force and skill. And alright, while Jimmy enjoyed being in control, liked being dominant – though not in a way Castiel did – and had admittedly thought about Dean giving himself over to him with his utmost trust – which was super hot, to be honest –, the way Dean fucked down on him like he owned him was really doing something to short circuit his brain. All he could do then was hold on to Dean like a lifeline, his fingers flexing hard over the jut of his hip bones to the point that Jimmy was certain would leave thumbprint bruises the next morning, and let him take charge.

Just for a second, Jimmy wondered if Dean was allowed to take over the reins like that often or if he was always submissive when it came to sex. But then Dean ground down hard on his erection, his walls deliberately clenching down around him as if taking in the weight of his cock, and Jimmy nearly choked on a moan, all sane thoughts leaving the room. And while he stopped thinking altogether and merely took in all of those amazing sensations as Dean kept riding him, bouncing in his lap, Jimmy made half an effort to keep his eyes open to watch this beautiful man above him.

Everything about Dean was perfect. The swivel of his hips, the heat of his skin, his weight, how tight he was around Jimmy, but most of all _Dean_. His upper body was slightly angled towards him and he was propping himself up on his strong arms, the palms of his hands pressing into Jimmy’s shoulders. He was going slower now, his gaze focused on Jimmy and it felt like a caress when his eyes swept over the features of his face. Those beautiful eyes. So green and vibrant. Like peridot in the limited light of his bedroom. Dean’s lips were parted and breathy, low moans escaped them whenever he rolled his hips just right to stimulate his prostate and Jimmy found himself hypnotized by the beauty of it all. This man was consuming him with everything he had and Jimmy never wanted to go back to anything other than _this_.

Dean looked like an angel above him and he was as bright as the sun, when he laughed as he did in the café a few days ago, but also when he was as vulnerable and bared for Jimmy like he was right then. And Jimmy knew that, if he looked too long, he’d be blinded by Dean’s radiance, his being forever imprinted in his mind.

He was too mesmerized by everything he saw and everything that Dean made him feel, that Jimmy didn’t even realize he was slowly running his palm up Dean’s bicep, almost as if worshipping him but also to memorize the soft stretch of sweat-slick skin and how his muscles bunched as he moved, admiring the strength hidden there. After that, he let his hands run over the firm muscles of Dean’s shoulders, further down his wonderful back, curving down to cup his ass and palming the plush muscle while lifting his head and shoulders off of the mattress once more to meet Dean’s lips with his own. The blonde leaned forward and down with half-lidded and lust-blown eyes, his face soft and slackened with pleasure, and kissed Jimmy as softly as possible while still moving his hips and bringing them both closer to the edge.

Placing his feet on the mattress and angling his legs, Jimmy met Dean’s thrusts with slow rolls of his hips into the blonde and he reveled in the feel of Dean’s soft and swollen lips against his own. The green-eyed had sneaked a hand under Jimmy’s neck to cup the back of his head while sliding his tongue into his mouth. Their foreheads were practically glued together where they touched because of all the sweat but Jimmy wasn’t complaining. Not at all. Especially not when he realized that Dean’s breaths came quicker and gradually louder after they parted from their kiss. The blonde was close now and Jimmy wanted more than anything to bring him over the edge, so he grabbed Dean’s neglected cock from where it was leaking an almost steady stream of pre-cum onto his stomach and began to give it languid strokes, making sure to wipe the pad of his thumb over his flushed head at every downstroke. His ministrations matched the rhythm and pace of Dean’s movements, though Jimmy didn’t even comprehend because he was just too enthralled with the sounds the blonde was making for him.

It didn’t take a lot longer after that until Dean’s moves got erratic before they stopped altogether, his eyes squeezing shut, mouth going slack, and his head thrown back to reveal its long and beautiful column to Jimmy, as Dean let out a strangled moan and ejaculated into Jimmy’s hand.

Feeling Dean tip over the edge was amazing, but watching him orgasm was a sight he would savor for all time and he watched in awe as Dean’s body twitched with the aftershocks of his release above him, barely keeping himself from orgasming as well as the blonde spasmed around him, throbbing and clenching and so unbelievably tight and hot. Somehow, Jimmy managed to keep himself together and for only a moment, he was impressed with that, but then Dean shifted just the slightest and there it was – he didn’t have any control over his body as this tiny movement triggered his orgasm and he came in pulses into the condom, nestled deep inside of Dean while stars danced behind his closed eyelids and he felt as though he was releasing pent-up energy of a week’s worth. 

This was the hardest Jimmy had ever come and the fact that Dean managed to bring him over the edge without making his orgasm crest before exploding, told him just how amazing Dean was.

His orgasm left Jimmy breathless for all of three minutes and he merely stared at Dean in utter awe, watching dazedly as a tiny and lazy, though triumphant smile curled his lips. The blonde looked thoroughly fucked and blissed-out, his body was touch-warm and soft and Jimmy arranged their bodies slightly to get them into a more comfortable position, Dean still on top of him, now curled against his chest, and his soft cock still partly inside the blonde.

For a very long moment, the two of them merely laid there, basking in the post-orgasmic bliss and enjoying the other’s warmth, while they calmed down from their high. Their breathing was synced and Jimmy listened to it get gradually slower while gazing at Dean’s happy face. His eyes were closed, half of his face pressed into Jimmy’s chest, and there were a few strands of hair stuck to his forehead. Jimmy’s heart swelled impossibly at the sight and he focused on Dean’s long eyelashes fanning out over his cheeks and where his freckles dusted his skin. Post-orgasmic Dean was by far the most stunning and endearing one of all versions he had come to see so far and Jimmy hoped with all his heart that he would get the chance to see them all.

When he pressed a kiss into his damp hair, Dean smelled of sex and sweat and while that didn’t sound very attractive, Jimmy couldn’t get enough of it because it was an amazing scent on Dean.

“You’re so quiet after sex…” Jimmy observed and massaged the tips of his fingers into Dean’s scalp.

“Mmm.”

There was a sweet smile on Dean’s lips and Jimmy chuckled softly, saying, “Would have taken you for the loud and bratty type.”

“Heh,” the blonde lifted his head, resting his chin on Jimmy’s breast, and mused in mumbled words, “Usually you’d be right.”

Jimmy quirked a brow at that and asked, “Really? So why weren’t you? I mean, you sure are the biggest tease I’ve ever slept with and I know now that you’re totally into dirty talk – the way you just… _used_ me, God, I’m telling you, if we keep this up, one day you’re gonna ride my brains out.”

At that, Dean laughed brightly and his whole body shook with it, the vibrations reverberating through Jimmy and when their eyes met, he felt a very new, though very pleasant tingle in his stomach. “Yeah, I kinda thrive on that a little sometimes. And I mean it in its purest way – if you know what and when to say something, you could get me to come without having been touched.”

His eyes were only slightly bugging out at that and he stared at Dean in astonishment. “That’s possible? I mean… without stimulation? Is that– can your body do that?”

Chuckling, Dean nodded and said, “Yeah, sure. It’s all about timing and context, though. Not everyone manages to do that. But to come back to the bratty shit I can be during sex…” he adverted his eyes and instead let them sweep over Jimmy’s chest, “Usually, I can’t keep my mouth shut, which… I should, you know. As a sub, I should obey the rules, and most of the time, they include speech restrictions but it’s hard for me, ‘cause I always have to say what’s on the tip of my tongue, even if it’s a sassy remark.” They locked gazes once more and Dean chuckled, “Gets me more punishments than happy endings most of the time.”

Jimmy let that information sink in for a moment before he asked, “So why did it change with me?”

“I don’t know, it’s strange. I feel oddly free with you and Cas and for some reason… didn’t feel the urge to shout or swear all throughout sex. Weird right?” There was a slight pink creeping up to the tips of Dean’s ears and the blonde struggled to keep eye contact.

“I don’t think it is.”

Frowning, Dean said, “I just… I was so consumed by all those sensations and feelings, I– there wasn’t any time to think of anything else, much less anything to say.”

Jimmy smiled softly at him and stroked his cheek with the back of his clean hand. “It was perfect the way it was, Dean. This was only an observation that I made. Nothing more. You were amazing.”

Now Dean’s cheeks practically glowed bright red and he blinked a few times, quizzically. “Thanks…?” This had Jimmy laughing with his entire body and Dean looked at him, shyly and uncertainly. “I mean, yeah, you’ve been great, too. I just…” he gave Jimmy a playful smack against his shoulder, smiling. “God, you know I can put that mouth to better work. I’m not good with words. That’s why I messed things up with Cas so badly… he probably thinks I shamelessly used him for sex and let him down again. And now look at me – I’m laying in his twin’s bed.”

Tightening his hold around Dean’s middle, Jimmy made sure to meet Dean’s eyes and assured, “Cas is gonna be fine. He doesn’t think that of you, I know. And while this isn’t some kind of game…” he thought of a way to say it without sounding like an ass, “Think of it like we’re even now. I mean, you came here because you felt like you betrayed me by sleeping with him, and while it wasn’t something I count as betrayal, especially since I agreed to this as well – knowing full well someone would get to have you first – and now we’re even.”

“Now I feel even worse about this all… what am I doing? Taking turns with you both? That’s cruel and it makes me the biggest jerk on earth.” He propped himself up on his elbow and buried his face in his hand. “God, what should we do?” Letting his hand fall down again, Dean met Jimmy’s eyes with his own desperate ones.

He leaned towards the blonde, propping himself up on his hands behind his back. “You’re not a jerk, Dean. I think what’s our problem is that we don’t communicate enough with each other. If we’d just sit down and talk this through, we could avoid things like that.”

“You want me to sit in a room with both of you after I slept with you two?”

“Is that a problem for you?”

“No, but what if it gets awkward?”

Chuckling, Jimmy assured, “I promise, it won’t get awkward or uncomfortable. We’re three grownups mature enough to have a conversation about this relationship. Whatever it’s turning out to be. And I’m certain that if you wouldn’t have been this freaked out about sleeping with Cas behind my back, he would have suggested this to you as well.”

“Fuck… I’m such an idiot. He probably thinks I regret it, even though I told him I wouldn’t.” There were shame and guilt written all over Dean’s face and Jimmy kissed his cheek in an attempt to reassure him. “How could I do this to him? Run out of him twice?!”

“I’ll call him now, then we can talk. No more guilt.”

At that, Dean sat up entirely, Jimmy’s cock slipping out of him, and before he could make even more of a mess, he hurried to get rid of the condom and grabbed a few tissues with his clean hand to wipe away some of Dean’s cum. The blonde was sitting on his legs, his hands braced at his sides as he watched Jimmy with a startled expression. “Now?”

Standing up slowly, Jimmy said, “Yeah, why not? We’ll take a quick shower and then I’ll call him.” He picked up the foliage of the condom and added it to the things he was going to depose of at first. Then he looked at Dean, who was still halfway kneeling on the bed, staring down at his hands, and Jimmy leaned over to stroke the side of his face, turning it so he could meet Dean’s eyes and ask, “Would you like to join me… or take a separate one?”

There was a pause and a moment later, Jimmy could hear the click of Dean’s throat as he swallowed once, his eyes glued to the blonde’s lips where a tongue darted out to wet them. “I think I…” Their eyes locked once more. “I need a moment for myself…”

Nodding, Jimmy let his hand fall from where it was resting on his cheek and gave him a reassuring smile. “Okay. That’s fine.” He took a few steps in the direction of his bathroom and said, “I’ll just be a minute.”

With that, he left the room, hopefully giving Dean the space he needed, and walked into the kitchen first to throw away the three items he had been holding in his hand where cum had begun to dry and cool. When he entered the bathroom and closed the door, Jimmy took a quick glance at himself in the mirror. He had some wild sex hair going on and his shoulders weren’t as stiff as they usually were. After that, he stepped into the shower and turned on the water, waiting for it to get from ice cold to at least lukewarm before jumping underneath the spray and washing off all the sweat and other bodily fluids. He used some shampoo for his hair to make it smell nice and rinsed it out afterward, shutting down the water and grabbing a towel while stepping out of the shower again. His bathroom wasn’t very big so he was almost able to reach everything from out of his shower. He’d even bet that he could take a piss from there and still aim, but Dean didn’t have to know that he was this immature sometimes. Though, the thought made him smile to himself as he dried himself off with the towel, wondering if Dean was more like Cas or him when it came to things like that.

He left the room as naked as he had entered it and went straight to the bedroom, where Dean still sat on the bed in the same position Jimmy had left him in, lifting his chin and turning his head to look at him with big, green eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked as he opened a drawer of his dresser and grabbed boxer shorts and a pair of socks.

A moment of silence followed after that and Jimmy asked himself if he had done something wrong. But then he heard the bedsheets crinkle and soft footsteps getting closer to him until there was a warm and tall body pressed against his still naked back, though Dean made sure not to press his messy crotch into Jimmy’s ass. Deft fingers traced down his arms in featherlight caresses until they were sliding into his palms and between his fingers and Jimmy watched, dazedly, as Dean held his hands in his own while he pressed soft kisses into the skin of his nape. Then he trailed those kisses up to Jimmy’s ear to whisper, “I’m fine,” and opened his hands again to withdraw from him. Having him so close one moment and being away from him in the other was like a shock to Jimmy’s system and goosebumps covered his skin as a shiver ran down his spine.

He was about to ask if Dean was still there when those fingers started to trace the outline of his back tattoo. The blonde followed the arch of the bone, traced his finger down his shoulder and arm where the long primary feathers expanded to and back to the scapulars to repeat this on the other wing. Jimmy held his breath the whole time, relishing this attention and the feel of Dean’s warm breath hitting his skin where he stood so close to him. “This is amazing.” Still tracing the tattoo with his finger, Dean said, “They look beautiful, Jimmy.”

Turning around slowly to face Dean, Jimmy placed his hands on the blonde’s shoulders and pulled him close to his body, his fingers curling around the back of his neck, and then they were kissing once again. Their noses bumped against each other and Jimmy had to angle his face differently to have better access to Dean’s delicious mouth. When he pushed his tongue inside now, the angle allowed him to reach new, deeper parts of it and he gladly explored everything he was offered, licking against the roof of Dean’s mouth and meeting Dean’s tongue in a filthy, wet slide. 

They broke apart to breathe and Jimmy smiled sweetly at the blonde, fascinated by his plush lips, which were a deep shade of red, swollen from all the kissing and spit slick. He couldn’t help but lean in again to swipe his tongue across the flesh and take the bottom lip between his teeth to tug on it, before pressing a few kisses to it. After that, he licked his own lips, delighted to find traces of Dean’s taste on them, and hummed in satisfaction.

“Wow,” Jimmy breathed out into the small space between their faces.

“Wow indeed,” Dean hummed, biting his bottom lip in that sheepish way of his before taking a step back and saying, “I’m gonna take that shower now.”

Nodding, Jimmy followed Dean’s naked body exiting the room with his gaze, watched how his hips swung with each step and how his bowlegs carried him away in light and long strides. When the green-eyed was out of his view, Jimmy turned to grab his discarded shorts and socks and pulled them on, then went to take out new sweat pants and a shirt, which he pulled on as well. After that, he walked into the hallway to collect their clothes from where they were scattered all over the floor and threw his worn stuff into a corner of his bedroom to put them in the basket later before he went to the bathroom and knocked on the closed door.

He didn’t have to wait very long until Dean said, “Come in!” and Jimmy entered the room, trying very hard not to stare at Dean’s wet and naked body through the glass door of the shower while putting his clothes on top of the closed lid of the toilet. Thank _God_ for steam…

“I was just bringing your clothes; thought you might want them.”

“Thanks,” the water stopped running and Dean opened the door a little to poke his head through the slit, smiling. His hair was dripping, strands of it clinging to his forehead, and Jimmy took in a sharp breath at how stunning Dean looked soaked in water. “What towel should I use when I’m done?”

“Oh!” Jimmy coughed in an attempt to distract from his newly invigorated arousal and turned around to search for a towel. When he found a fresh one, he grabbed it and placed it on top of Dean’s clothes, already walking back to the door and opening it. “I put it on top of your stuff, I’ll be out again.” And with that, Jimmy hurried out of the room before he managed to pop a boner in front of a wet and naked Dean after merely having seen his head. It was hilarious, really. But Jimmy didn’t have any time to muse about that because he still had to call Cas and tell him to come by.

Which was what he did next. Jimmy grabbed his cellphone that he had left behind in the hallway by the door and dialed Cas’ number, pressing call and waiting for him to pick up.

_“Hello?”_

“Hey, are you busy right now? I’d need you here.” Jimmy truly hoped that Cas didn’t have anything else planned. Dean was his first priority right now.

_“Uh, no. Why? Did something happen?”_

“No, I’m fine, Cas. It’s…” he thought about what to say to not go about it like a bull at a gate but came up short, so he admitted, “It’s about Dean.”

There was a pause, then, _“Is he okay? Did you see him?”_

“He’s here, with me. He came to apologize…” _but got distracted._ Yeah, that sounded like a dick move on his part. “Anyhow, we need to talk about this – whatever this arrangement between us three is. Dean thought he hurt me by sleeping with you, then he started worrying about you again… it’s just,” he let out a heavy breath and threw a look over his shoulder to make sure he was still alone, “Dean is the one hurting himself with this, at least I think he is.”

_“You slept with him.”_

Cas’ voice was deeper than usual when he said it and it wasn’t a question, though it sounded pretty accusatory and Jimmy defended, “Hey, you gotta talk! Just come over so we can talk this through.”

_“Yes, okay. Since I was out taking a walk, I will be there in a few minutes.”_

“Good, see you.”

_“Yes.”_

And with that, Cas ended the call and Jimmy put his phone aside to resume cleaning up. Well, at least he started putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher while he couldn’t stop thinking about how disgruntled Cas had seemed about the fact that Dean was here. Although, the reminder that Cas was the first to sleep with Dean kept Jimmy from feeling bad about upsetting his twin.

Though he didn’t get the chance to truly think about this issue because – as Cas had said – a few minutes later, there was a knock at his door and Jimmy cleaned his hands with the towel and went to open the door for his brother.

Castiel stepped into his apartment with a set jaw and his lips pressed together in a thin, unhappy line. Inside, he took off his coat and placed it on top of Dean’s leather jacket after staring at it for a moment. “Where is he?”

Closing the door behind his back, Jimmy answered, “Showering,” to which Cas gave an acknowledging nod. After that, Castiel didn’t seem to be able to look at him or his carpet just suddenly got very interesting. “So, are we gonna talk about this? I thought, out of the two of us, you were the one who always needs to talk things out? If you’re mad at me, just say it.”

Focusing blue eyes on him, Castiel took a step closer to Jimmy and declared, “I am not mad at you.” Before Jimmy had the chance to ask why he was acting like it then, Cas said, “It’s rather the fact that you would use his vulnerability like that what makes me mad.”

“Vulnerability? Nothing happened between us that Dean didn’t consent. He wanted this as much as I did, and so, I made the first step, what? I’ve wanted this since the minute he kissed me thinking it was you! I’ve just been waiting for him to be ready, and let me tell you what, he was!”

“He came here to apologize and you used his guilt to your own advantage. You should have seen him this morning, he was so close to freaking out about hurting you and I thought he’d just up and leave forever. But he didn’t, because that’s just who he is – caring. He wanted to make this right.”

Jimmy was surprised by this turn of their conversation. They had never had a fight in their life and while this wasn’t a fight yet, it wasn’t a typical conversation either. “Yeah... He wanted to make something right that _you_ messed up in the first place. Now we’re even.”

Lifting his brows in angry amusement, Castiel asked in a raised voice, “I messed up? We spent an evening together and it merely happened. You seem to have made a game out of it! What is he to you? A toy?!”

This had Jimmy pressing an accusatory finger into Cas’ chest, his eyes hard and voice low, “Dare to say that again? I am not mad at you for being the one to sleep with him first, so don’t be an ass about the fact that I only did what I’ve been wanting to do for days. At least I had the decency to wait unlike you. And you know why? Because I’m fucking falling in love with this man and I don’t know what to do about it!” It was out. He said it. And it felt oddly freeing.

Castiel went silent then, his expression changing from anger to one of sympathy and understanding. His eyes were fond and Jimmy knew Castiel felt the same as he did.

“I’m sorry.”

Jimmy met Cas’ eyes and said, “You don’t have to apologize. We were both being jerks about this whole thing, it’s not fair to either of us.”

“You’re right,” Cas smiled sadly, “I’m feeling the same way about Dean as you do. There is this inexplicable pull that I feel towards Dean and I know that I have a problem sharing my partners. It has never been a true problem before, but I am very much aware of my possessiveness and I’m sorry that I let it out on you.”

Smiling softly, Jimmy said, “It’s okay. As I said, I didn’t act any better and I’m sorry for that as well. Let’s just sit down and talk about this to prevent things like that in the future.”

While they collected themselves and started walking into the living room, Jimmy noticed that the shower wasn’t running anymore, and only then did he realize that Dean still hadn’t come out of the bathroom after what had possibly been 15 minutes. When he met Cas’ eyes, he saw that his twin had noticed this as well, if the worried look he was directing towards the bathroom was anything to go by.

Turning on his heels to walk towards Dean, Cas asked, “You said he was worried? Was he okay as he left to go shower?”

“Yeah, he was just fine.” He truly was, so Jimmy hoped Dean merely got distracted with his clothes or something as they neared the bath. “Why?”

Castiel knocked twice, rapping his knuckles of his fist against the wood and calling Dean’s name rather than answering Jimmy, and they waited. It was silent on the other side of the door and Jimmy was about to burst into the room when they heard Dean say, “I’m fine!”

His voice, though, convinced them otherwise. It was rough and while he was loud enough to be heard from inside, it was also quiet and strained. Cas gave him a concerned look before grabbing the handle and opening the door carefully. At first, Jimmy didn’t even see Dean but then his eyes caught sight of his figure in the corner of the room, sitting hunched on the closed lid of the toilet, fully clothed again. His elbows were propped up on his knees to hide his face in his hands and Jimmy’s heart clenched painfully at the sight. He had never seen Dean this small and drawn back into himself and he never wanted to see him like that again.

In addition to that, Dean’s breathing was quick, way too quick, and before Jimmy knew what was happening, Cas was on his knees in front of the blonde, though not laying a hand on him. “Dean, hey,” Castiel soothed in a quiet, soft voice and Jimmy watched, confused, as Dean’s breathing got even quicker. “Remember that one call we had? Think about what I told you. Don’t focus on your breathing too much, it’s like watching a wound bleed – it hurts more when you see it.”

Suddenly, Jimmy understood what was going on and he felt so useless and stupid just standing there and doing nothing.

_A panic attack._

How could that have happened? Dean was just fine when he had left. Everything was so confusing right now and all Jimmy wanted to do was wrap Dean up into his arms and soothe his worries. In reality, though, he could only stare with worried eyes as Cas instructed, “Listen to me breathing, Dean,” and started breathing in and out deeply, taking long pauses between breaths. To say Jimmy was impressed to see Cas handle a situation like that with such a calm attitude was an understatement, and he watched in wonder as Dean’s almost frantic breathing started to gradually calm down again. It was like Castiel did some kind of magic on Dean, but after a few, long minutes, the blonde was back to long and deep breaths and Jimmy smiled proudly at the two of them.

They gave Dean a moment to come back to himself and Jimmy crouched next to Cas, though further away from Dean than his twin to not crowd him too much. “Talk to us?”

Dean sighed softly and whispered, “It's all just... too much,” in a tiny voice. He still had his face buried in the palms of his hands, shielding his insecurity from them.

Jimmy let Cas do the talking right then because he thought his twin was more skilled in soothing Dean than he was. “What is too much? Are we?” After a shake of his head, Castiel went on, “Did we say or do anything to make you feel like this? You can tell us the truth.” Another head-shake and Cas asked, “Would you please tell us what triggered that panic attack?”

“I heard you two fight…” The twins shared a guilty look at that and Dean spoke again, softly, “I’m so sorry… I hurt you. I made you fight because I’m stupid and… and,” Jimmy watched, devastated, as a tear dropped from Dean’s wrist to his thigh, landing with a quiet _thud_ on the fabric of his pants, “Who does that? To twins?! I don’t wanna ruin your relationship... I could never live with the fact that I destroyed it because I’m a brother, too, and without Sammy… I’d never be the same after that. I heard what you said but you…” There was a long pause and another tear dropped down onto his jeans, making Jimmy’s eyes sting with emotion. “You two need each other more than you need me. Because you’re family and–and family cares for each other. Family stays forever, I’ll just be another chapter of your life and as much as I’d like that, I would never want to hurt you like this. And to be honest, I don’t want to be just another chapter because that’s who I am – way too selfish for any of you.” Dean let his hands fall from his face and they dangled between his knees but Jimmy still wasn’t able to see his face because his head was bowed down too much. “So please, I'm sorry… but I can’t… this is not–”

Dean fought for words to say but after a few tries, he just slumped his shoulders and gave up. Castiel didn’t let it go yet, though, because he caught Dean's chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilted his head up. When their eyes met, Castiel's breath hitched and Jimmy felt impossibly overwhelmed with emotions as he took in Dean’s red-rimmed eyes, tear-streamed cheeks, and trembling lips. He barely kept from crying at the sight and Castiel’s voice was thick with emotion when he realized, “You don’t think you deserve to be loved.”

At that, Dean flinched as though he were struck, and Jimmy was sure he would have been physically distancing himself if he were not already quite literally trapped between them and a wall. He did yank his chin from Castiel's grasp and averted his eyes, though, not bothering to pretend to deny the statement at which Jimmy felt his heart fracture in his chest.

How could Dean – this stunning, lively, and vibrant man – not see his value, his aptitude to love, and to be loved?

Jimmy caught a glance of Cas’ watery eyes as he shifted closer to Dean but kept his hands off of him this time, saying, “Dean, if you heard what we said, you know how serious this is to us. We care about you very much and we want this to work out, whatever direction you want this to go.”

Clearing his throat softly after all these emotions made him choke off, Jimmy assured, “You’re amazing, Dean. Strong and beautiful. You’re the first one I have ever managed to develop deeper feelings for and I’d be damned to give that up so easily.”

“You’re out of your minds.”

“We’re truly not, Dean,” Cas said, taking Dean’s hand carefully into his own and guiding him into an upright position. When the blonde stood, Castiel led him to the mirror and placed themselves in front of it. Jimmy followed, placing himself at Dean’s left side. “What do you see?”

Dean’s brows furrowed and he turned a questioning look at both of them, asking, “What?”

“Look at yourself and tell me what you see.”

Turning his head slowly, Dean let his eyes fall upon his own features, and then he shrugged, his gaze flicking from Cas to Jimmy. “Skin?”

A sad expression crossed Castiel’s features at that but he was quick to take on a tender smile again, grabbing Dean’s shoulders and turning him back to the mirror gently. His voice was filled with adoration and meaning when he said, “When I look at you, Dean, I don’t see flesh or skin. I see strength. Courage. A headstrong man.” Cas kept eye contact with Dean in the mirror stubbornly even as the blonde seemed to fight against it a little. “I admire how you seem to shine from the inside, how you glow and infect everyone around you. And I see a man that I admire as the untamable force of nature that he is.”

Dean’s breath caught and his eyes gleamed suspiciously but Jimmy continued what Cas had begun. “You’re unrelenting, Dean. Unswerving. Unequaled. A person so full of life, carrying around this vibrancy and love. I’m glad you bumped into our lives like that because, without you, we’d never have realized how grey this world was before.”

While he tried to express what he was feeling, there were these syllables almost constantly on the tip of his tongue, almost like a longing that he felt deep in his soul but knew he couldn’t put into words yet, though he sure came pretty close to it a few times.

Cas made sure to capture Dean’s eyes with his own when he promised, “We’ll work this out together, okay? We’ll show you just how much love and beyond you are deserving of and that we want to give this to you… if you’ll let us.” Dean was breathing slowly, his lips slightly parted, and Jimmy found himself engrossed with his beautiful eyelashes again. From where he was standing, they looked impossibly soft and long. Then Castiel took both of Dean’s hands in his own and cradled them, pressing them into his chest and leaning forward to brush a kiss to Dean’s forehead. “Will you let us? Give this try?”

Holding his breath, Jimmy waited for Dean’s answer and when it finally came, he felt as relieved as never before: “Okay.” The blonde’s voice was soft and almost shy and Jimmy couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around his middle and merely holding him close with a wide grin spreading his lips. “Okay.”

“We’re gonna have to talk about what ‘this’ is going to be, though,” Jimmy mumbled into the back of Dean’s neck, still smiling.

“Yeah…” Dean agreed and relaxed completely in their holds.

They stood like that for a while, just enjoying the start of something new and thrilling and keeping Dean close. He was radiating enough warmth from his body for the three of them and somehow that fact made Jimmy grin more, happily.

And there they were again – those syllables…

_I want you._

_I need you._

_I’m falling in love with you._

It was quiet in the room and Castiel met Jimmy's eyes, expectantly. They were alone for now as Dean had gone outside to collect himself and buy some groceries for dinner – since they decided to spend the night together in Jimmy’s apartment – while the two of them waited for him in the living room.

“So… you’d be open to that? Like, really?”

Nodding, Cas assured, “Yes and I think this could work. What we would have to do is take it slow, if you’d even want it.”

“I’d be more than open to it and I want it, no question there, but,” Jimmy rubbed his hands together, his brows furrowing, “Dean? He seems to be overwhelmed already. Are you sure he would even take this into consideration?”

That was something Castiel, himself, was afraid of. He had no idea how Dean would react to this proposal but they at least had to try, so he answered, “I don’t know. But that’s why we have to take it slow. If we rush into it, overwhelm him with all this, he’ll probably back out and I wouldn’t want this to happen.”

“Neither would I.” When Jimmy looked at him, there was conviction in his eyes and Cas knew that he would give just as much as him to keep Dean with them.

Opening his mouth to speak, Cas suddenly heard the knock on the door and he closed his lips again, standing up and hurrying to open up for Dean. Jimmy was hot on his heels and a moment later, the two of them were standing in the hallway with the door wide open and smiling at a disheveled Dean. His red cheeks, his windswept hair – though short – and the breath of fresh but crisp air that the blonde brought to their doorstep were evidence of the winter weather outside and Cas had to admit that Dean looked unfairly cute tousled like that.

Dean grinned softly, almost sheepishly, and lifted his right arm enough to wiggle the grocery bag that he was holding in its hand in front of them, informing, “I got us some dinner!” Flicking his eyes down to look at the things he bought, Dean said, “Well, at least the ingredients for it.”

Chuckling, Cas took a few steps back to invite him in and Jimmy took the groceries from Dean with a peck on his lips to bring and store them in the kitchen. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Was no problem at all,” the blonde assured, stepping inside and closing the door. “My head’s clear again, now.”

Castiel took a step forward to close the space between them and nosed along the bend of Dean’s neck, trailing his lips up to his jaw and mumbling, “I’m glad.” Then he placed his hands tenderly on the back of Dean’s neck and brought his face down to his own, locking eyes on him and waiting. Waiting for a clue that Dean was uncomfortable with what he was about to do. But then the blonde brushed his lips tentatively against Castiel’s and he knew that Dean wouldn’t be uncomfortable, so he pressed his body into Dean’s and started kissing him with fervor, licking into his mouth and sliding against his tongue. He shivered at the feel of it and hummed into Dean’s mouth as the blonde gripped his hips to steady himself. His straight nose was poking Dean’s face but he pressed into him even more, feeling him with all his body, until they had to break apart, breathing harshly.

Dean had half a moment to get some air before, very suddenly, Jimmy grabbed his shoulders and turned him around and into his space, leaning in to press his lips against Dean’s as well. At first, those green eyes were wide open in surprise while Jimmy worked his already swollen lips, but then Dean recovered enough from the initial shock and gave into Jimmy’s probing and demanding tongue, opening his mouth and meeting it with his own in a filthy, wet slide of which Castiel had the perfect vantage point.

He would have been lying if he said that seeing Dean kiss his twin left him completely cold. It riled up his jealousy pretty hard and his possessiveness flared with fierce in the pit of his stomach. But Cas tried to keep it under control. This was neither a competition nor something he hadn’t just done a moment ago himself.

When the two withdrew from one another to take in some oxygen, Castiel waited a moment to let Dean calm down, still keeping in his mind to take it slow with him, and then grabbed his hand cautiously and made Dean look at him. Almost whispering, Cas asked, “Was this okay?”

Still somewhat breathless, Dean nodded and gave them a tiny smile, assuring, “Yeah…” at which Jimmy wrapped an arm around his waist and smiled happily. “That was…” He looked a bit more disheveled now and Castiel watched, intrigued, as he trapped his plush bottom lip with his teeth in that shy way of his.

With a fond smile on his face, Cas leaned in and pecked his cheek, asking, “So kissing or showing affection while the other is in the room would be no problem for you?” He was more hopeful now that Dean seemed to be comfortable with this and prayed that he would be open to what they were going to propose to him in a few minutes.

Biting his lip, Dean shook his head and said, “I guess… not,” which had Castiel grinning widely and Jimmy meeting his eyes in excitement.

“Okay, let’s sit down and talk if you feel ready,” Cas said calmly, tugging at Dean’s hand after receiving a nod to start guiding him towards the living room while Jimmy followed behind him, his arm still wrapped around the blonde’s waist. 

When they reached the couch, Castiel sat down on it first, then Jimmy, leaving enough space between their bodies to fit Dean in the middle. For a moment, the green-eyed merely stared at the spot, seemingly thinking about something. But then he turned around and lowered himself between the twins with a huff, their thighs pressing against Dean’s reassuringly.

Turning his body in Dean’s direction, Cas began, “While you were taking a walk, Jimmy and I took the time to discuss something, and we came to one conclusion that would work for us both. There are three possibilities here, though, and _you_ choose which it is going to be, okay?”

Dean nodded once again, gazing at him, then at Jimmy before meeting Cas’ eyes expectantly, indicating that he can go on. But Castiel directed a pointed look at Jimmy, prompting him to start talking, and Dean turned around to listen to him. “The first option is that we would continue dating as we started it, meaning that both, Cas and I, would date you at the same time and that we would take turns with that. The only difference will be that it’s like an open relationship.”

Frowning, the blonde lingered where he sat, then turned questioning eyes on Cas and coughed, asking, “So – don’t get me wrong – but we’d all be sleeping with other people? How’s this going to work?”

“Well,” Castiel started, trying to word what Jimmy and he had talked about a few minutes ago, “the concept of an open relationship is consensual non-monogamous relations and in the terms of this, we would want it to be an honest one. Not the ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ kind. And it wouldn’t be an open relationship where we’d allow you to have sexual or romantic relations with just anyone, but it would stay between the three of us.”

Jimmy nodded, agreeing, “Right. That means you and Cas would have a relationship separate from and you and I, but Cas allows or rather gives his consent that we have a romantic and sexual relationship while he has one with you as well, and I consent to you and him having a relationship, sexual and romantic, in return.”

“Yes,” Cas said, getting back Dean’s attention which had just been on Jimmy, and watched him closely as he continued, “there would be certain boundaries and rule number one would be to always be honest with each other because honesty and communication are key to a successful relationship.” Dean nodded, his expression concentrated and focused as if taking in everything the twins were telling him with caution. “Special boundaries would be that you, Jimmy, and I all agree to refuse any other sexual or romantic relationships out of this arrangement, with one exception,” Castiel pauses for a moment, taking a calming breath at the lingering jealousy clawing its ugly nails into his insides, “you’d be allowed to continue scening with Micheal since we live at different places and I’m out of the question to take on his role from such a distance. _But_ , you would have to promise not to have penetrative sex with him during scenes or outside of that.”

The two of them had discussed that the most because, while Cas didn’t need to have physical relationships with his Subs and only needed to have control over them in certain ways, he had realized that Dean did need a physical one with his Doms and that just wouldn’t be possible miles apart from each other. It took a lot of explaining and some convincing arguments for Jimmy to understand and agree to it, even though Cas had his own problems with that because he internally bristled with anger at the Dom for treating Dean this bad and every fiber in his body and everything he stood for went against this decision. The only thing that kept him from getting all bossy and demanding that Dean end things with Michael was the spark of hope every time he looked at Dean and he kept convincing himself _not long until we get him away from the guy._

_Not long until we have him for ourselves._

_Not long until we move in together._

“But isn’t…” Dean flicked his eyes between the two of them with a frown, picking at the hem of his shirt unconsciously, “isn’t that a sexual relationship?”

“Yes, but a necessary one for you,” Cas assured, trying to stop Dean from getting more nervous with each passing second even as his possessiveness flared and worry that he was letting Dean walk into the arms of a monster began to churn his insides.

With his brows drawing together, Dean asked, “What about you?”

He had the feeling that Dean wanted to make this even harder for him than it already was. So he answered, through almost clenched teeth, “I’d still be honored to be your Dom, of course. But I can’t give you what you need through phone or video calls–”

“No,” the blonde shook his head, interrupting Cas, “I mean, what about your needs? Aren’t you gonna scene with someone?”

“As I said, I’d love to be your Dom and if we decide to call once a week just to have a scene even with this distance between us, then that would be enough for me, I promise. Unlike you, I don’t need it to be physical and it’s not an accusation, merely the fact that I have different needs.”

“Okay,” Dean breathed out, nodding. “And you’d consent to this? Both?” He met Cas’ eyes first, then Jimmy’s, making sure they were both agreeing to this.

To answer his question, Jimmy said, “Yes, of course,” at the same time as Cas said, “Without a doubt,” with clenched fists at his side.

_Not long until…_

But that was merely option one. The second one was what Cas and Jimmy truly wanted – to not only have Dean all for themselves but also to prevent someone from getting left out and from hurting Dean if there should be such a situation again. 

“Alright… yeah, okay.” Wringing his hands, Dean looked at Cas, asking, “So… what’s option two then?”

“Well, there’s a way we could prevent someone from being left out certainly and it’s what Jimmy and I would prefer… but it comes close to option one,” Castiel answered carefully, letting this information sink in first before going on with, “Open relationships are just one form of consensual non-monogamy. There are, for example, others like polyamory. Do you know this?”

“I know polygamy. Is it the same?”

“I admit that, since this has been going on, I have read a lot about polyamory and from what I understand about it is that there are different forms of it as well. I’ve read about two forms of polygamy. One, polygyny, where one man marries multiple women, and polyandry, where one woman marries multiple men, and so polygamy is rather universally heterosexual.” Dean nodded his understanding once and blinked a few times, his hands had gone still in his lap. “Polyamory, on the other hand, means that anyone of any gender can have multiple partners where the gender of the person or their partner does not matter. And it differs from an open relationship in that polyamorous people are drawn to relationships that are emotionally involved, they tend to view their relationships equally rather than assign labels like ‘primary’ and ‘secondary’. Those are intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved.”

“So… no separate dating? Would that mean you two would date as well and… you know, do other stuff together? I mean… you’re twins, that’d be incest… it’s just– I think that would go too far for my liking.” He was nervous again and scratched the back of his head while meeting Cas’ gaze with big, uncertain eyes.

Almost sputtering, Jimmy cut in, “God no! No, nothing like that. No incest, we promise.”

At that, Dean chuckled slightly and Castiel was able to see the relief smoothing his features slightly. “Yeah, Jimmy and I talked about that as well. While I love my brother as you love Sam, there is and never will be more than that between us. Brotherly love is all we share except you. Think of it as the open relationship we already discussed, but not as two separate ones but one polyamorous relationship between the three of us. That would mean that you’d be our partner and we’d be your partners but Jimmy and I wouldn’t be each other’s partners, do you understand?”

“Yeah, I guess. No sexual or romantic relationship between the two of you but you’ll be sharing the same partner in a polyamorous relationship, which would be me. Got it. Like two separate in one. Like when– when people ask if you have a boyfriend, you two’d answer with yes, and I’d say that I have two? Yeah…” Following Dean’s train of thought had Cas smiling fondly and he nodded when the blonde looked at him in search of an affirmation.

“That’s right. Jimmy and I would love to give this a try if you would want to.” 

Placing a soothing hand on Dean’s knee, Jimmy assured, “If this is going to be too much for you, then that’s okay, Dean. Or if you should decide to give this a try and after some time, you figure out that this isn’t something you’d wanna try any further, then that would be alright as well. Even if you’d want to try both options, Cas and I would go with it.”

There was a moment of silence before Dean asked, quietly, “But what about you two? I mean… it’s not a legally protected status, you could lose your jobs because of me… you really wanna go through all this and the criticism you would’ve to endure? Are you sure… because I wouldn’t wanna be the one to make you unhappy on a whole new level…”

Looking at him with sincere eyes, Cas assured, “Dean, that’s not something Jimmy and I care about, and if we did, don’t you think we would’ve considered this as well? If we weren’t a hundred percent sure that this is what we want, then we wouldn’t have suggested it at all. Don’t worry about that.”

After another disconcerting pause, Dean let out a sigh and asked, “What’s possibility three?”

“It would be that you decide right here and now that you don’t want any of that. Or if we can’t come to an agreement and decide to go separate ways.” Merely saying it hurt and Castiel grabbed Dean’s hand in a selfish moment of insecurity to try and calm himself.

The blonde nodded once more, twining his fingers with Cas’ and placing his other hand above Jimmy’s thigh, squeezing once. Then he met their gazes, one after the other, and suggested, “What if we try option two?”

Smiling brightly, Castiel had a hard time keeping his heart from jumping out of his thorax. “You’d want that?”

“Yeah.” Jimmy met Cas’ eyes happily, then focused them on Dean again. “Yeah. Let’s give this a shot. I want it to work.”

And with that, the blonde was engulfed in a lung-crushing hug as Castiel wrapped him up into his arms and held him close, while Jimmy bombarded his face with affectionate kisses, again and again, making Dean chuckle softly.

“You guys are cute.”

Withdrawing just enough to look Dean into the eyes, Cas said, “This means a lot to us, Dean.”

A slight blush crept upon his cheeks when he admitted, “Yeah, me too.”

Grinning happily, Jimmy asked in-between kisses, “No more freak-outs?”

“No more freak-outs, I swear,” Dean confirmed, laughing softly, and Cas just couldn’t believe his luck when he met those green, green eyes and felt like melting away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mild panic attack (same tag as before and I swear that's gonna be the end of this angsty-stage. Dean is getting used to the fact that two people do, in fact, care about him dearly) ALSO, things are getting serious real fast for our boys.


	6. New Year’s Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got some new art for you, hope you enjoy it.
> 
> If you want better quality, check out my tumblr [@goldenwingsgirl](http://goldenwingsgirl.tumblr.com/), there you'll find every art piece of this story!

To say their first night together had been weird would have been an understatement, but Dean had to admit that he’d really enjoyed sharing a bed with not just one, but two handsome men that seriously cared about him. After they had set the rules for their current arrangement – no dating, romantic or sexual relations out of it, except for Michael continuing his role as Dean’s Dom, which he found surprising, considering Cas had wanted him to stop scening with Michael merely a few nights ago, and that they would take it slow – the three of them had all prepared dinner together and watched some TV while they were waiting for it to get crusty and golden in the oven. When it had finally been done, they had enjoyed their meal in light conversation about everything and nothing at all and Dean couldn’t remember the last time he had grinned so much, that his cheeks hurt afterward.

Thinking about it, Dean had probably laughed even with his mouth stuffed full with lasagna but the twins hadn’t said anything about it, so he should be fine. He really had to work on his table manners, though.

Not long after they had had their dinner together, Jimmy, Cas, and Dean had refreshed themselves and gotten ready for bed separately, then squeezed together on the bed, which – even if it was a king-sized one – hadn’t offered enough space for the three of them to be comfortable in the least. They had laid pressed from head to toe against one another, trying to fit everyone, but Dean didn’t complain. Mostly because he enjoyed being the center of attention and sandwiched between the twins, who both had one arm wrapped around him, their heads resting on or at his shoulders, and their legs tangled with his own. While Jimmy had managed to keep his hand on his chest this whole time, Castiel must have given up on holding back because sometime during the night, his arm had been lower and his hand had rested possessively on his stomach. They had been wearing boxer briefs and tees, though, so there had been no real skin-to-skin contact, to Dean’s disappointment.

That night, he had slept even better than the night before with Cas because he had felt oddly safe and warm being surrounded by such amazing men.

_Boyfriends._

It still felt weird merely saying it in his head, but doing so out loud was a whole new level of strange. Which he did; the morning he came home and told Sam and Jessica all about his last two days and apologized for acting the way he did and being absent. He had told them about his night with Cas, then the morning after where he had had his ‘freak-out’ and how he’d visited Jimmy after that. Sam and Jess had listened as he had talked about how Jimmy had wanted to have Cas over to talk this out and that they had done so, after another ‘freak-out’ and almost panic attack. And he’d also told them about how they wanted this to go, explained what their relationship was like. Sam had blanched at him during the first attempts at explaining understandably how they would make this work as a polyamorous relationship and that Jimmy and Cas weren’t interested in incest, gaping at him with his hazel eyes big as saucers while Jessica had merely listened and smiled.

Sam had needed a while to feel completely comfortable with this and after Jessica had whispered a few soothing words, reminding him of Dean’s happiness and that it was all that mattered, the younger Winchester had seemingly relaxed and given Dean his ‘blessing’ – which had been completely over the top, of you asked Dean. Sammy was an open-minded, non-judgmental, and acceptive person and not a stupidly bigoted, narrow-minded, biased pig-head like John had been and that was what mattered most to Dean. He knew Sam’s initial shock hadn’t been about their polyamorous relationship, merely the fact that he would have to get used to his big brother dating two guys at once, and it felt so good to know that he would have Sam’s ‘blessing’ and support, regardless.

Dean had listed in detail what they had arranged together; that they would start slow, keep it to affectionate touches and kisses for now, maybe go on a few dates as long as they still could. Then, when Dean would be back home again, they would have video calls together a few days per week to get to know each other and work this whole arrangement out. They had agreed to keep it simple and not start anything serious until a few weeks or months after Dean went back to Kansas, to give him some room to breathe and think this all over. The twins wanted to give him enough time to be completely sure he wanted this, and Dean was thankful for that.

Because, even if he felt like he was certain about this, he couldn’t know for sure. Dean had been so overwhelmed with everything happening, swamped with emotions and feelings, and he felt like he was looking at everything through rose-tinted glasses. And the last thing he wanted was to regret anything or ending up hurting the two as soon as reality came crashing back in when he wasn’t blinded by love any longer. Or as soon as he had some space to breathe and wasn’t influenced by all those hormones of happiness whenever one of them just smiled at him.

God, if he wouldn't have been so damn happy for once in his life, he'd have been scared as Hell of how deep he was in already, how seriously involved he was with them.

The old Dean would’ve said something along the lines, ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained,’ but this was serious and way too damn important to make fun of or take lightly. No, Dean knew that this was something he had always been looking for and if he messed this up, he would never forgive himself. He had changed somewhere along the way after all. _Huh._

He would work hard for this to make it happen; he knew.

Today, he would be doing the first step. The first step into their future together, the first step to something he found himself dreaming of ever since he was little and naïve.

The first step into something unknown, that put Dean’s nerve endings on high alert out of pure anticipation but also fear.

Today was New Year’s Eve and Jimmy, true to his word, invited Jessica, Sam, Cas, and Dean to stay over at his friend’s beach house to celebrate the end of the year and the beginning of a new one, giving Dean the opportunity to see the ocean.

They were just parking their separate cars in the front yard, Sam and Jess had decided to get a ride with Dean while Jimmy joined his brother, and he was already a mess of nerves, although he was freaking excited to stick his feet into the water, no matter that Sammy had warned him about the unpleasant temperature of the beach in the winter. Nothing could hold him back from doing this, not even the bitter coldness of the ocean, _dammit._

Before they had taken off to Long Beach, Dean had struggled to pack appropriate clothes and after a few, very frustrating minutes, he had asked for Jessica’s assistance. While she helped him choose his things, Jess had smiled at him incessantly, as if knowing just how nervous Dean was. God, he felt like a teenage boy choosing his clothes for his first party ever or something like that. Ridiculous.

He was a grown man capable of doing that himself by now, though there was something oddly confusing about the fact that Jimmy and Cas wanted to take it slow but told him beforehand that they would share a room and therefore another bed together. On New Year’s Eve. At the beach. In a huge house. Far away from his brother’s room.

What was he supposed to do?

After rummaging around in his stuff, Jessica had advised him not to bring any panties with him, at which he had sputtered and stammered like some blushing virgin, though she had told him that she could imagine Dean in them and how much his boyfriends would appreciate them before musing about Sam wearing a pair himself, at which Dean had blocked out the following words to spare himself from getting jarred with very detailed images for the rest of his life, thanks to his wild imagination.

Together, the two of them had packed two pairs of socks – he could’ve managed _that_ himself – as well as two boxer briefs, a gray, worn-out shirt, a hoodie in an even darker gray – Dean didn’t know where she had found this one because he couldn’t, for the love of God, remember taking it with him to California in the first place – and one pair of well-fitting jeans and some sweats. If Dean had been to choose alone, he would have picked new boxer shorts and the jeans and the tee he was wearing. But even after various attempts from Dean to put some of the clothes back and a few questions as to why he would have to pack so much for one night anyway, Jess hadn’t relented and assured him that it was always better to have back up.

And here they were, opening the trunk to retrieve the exact same bag Dean had packed in the morning along with Jess and Sam’s bags and a few things to eat and drink.

“This house is huge! How’d you manage to make it ours for the night?” Dean could hear Jessica ask in astonishment and Jimmy chuckled lowly, turning Dean’s flesh into goosebumps while he shut the trunk of his beloved Baby, giving it an affectionate pat.

Now at his side, Jimmy answered, “A friend owns it as ‘pied-à-terre’, as he would say, and he only uses it during summer season, so he saw no problem in giving us access to it for a night.”

“Neat.”

The blue-eyed had a bag in his hand and the keys to the house in the other, smiling politely at Jessica and Sam before motioning for them to go ahead. A moment later, both twins were at each of Dean’s sides, Cas taking his hand while Jimmy linked his arm with Dean’s, all falling into the same step.

Turning his head to Jimmy, Dean said, “This guy must be rich, man.”

“You could say that,” he answered, smiling widely and leading the way towards the massive wooden door of the house.

“Gabriel right?” Dean turned to look at Cas, who met his twin’s eyes curiously, waiting for an answer.

“Yeah, Gabe.” Chuckling, Jimmy said, “Who else would call his second home pied-à-terre in a terrible French accent?”

This had Castiel laughing heartily and Dean found himself infected by it within seconds, so he laughed as well. “This Gabe sounds interesting. Maybe I should meet him once.”

“God, he’d love you. I swear, if he sees people as pretty as you, he practically drools all over them. And if he gets to know our new relationship status, he’s going to flip.” Jimmy directed a warm smile and capturing eyes at Dean while Cas was almost boring holes into the side of his face with his intense gaze. Then, almost whispering, Jimmy revealed, “He owns a famous sex shop.”

Snorting, Dean said, “Oh well, it must sell,” trying to distract from the more or less indirect compliment Jimmy had given him. He was still not at all good at taking them seriously and so he didn’t know what to answer whenever one of them said something so meaningful in such a causal manner. Though he was trying.

“It does,” Cas affirmed and Dean grinned widely, assuming Castiel had visited the shop a few times already to cover the toys a Dom would need.

They reached the door then and Jimmy detached his arm from Dean to step forward and unlock it, opening it widely to grant them all access. Jessica was the first to go inside, dragging Sammy with her and whistling lowly in appreciation. “Woah, that’s nice.”

“Gabriel gave us freedom to do whatever we want, except to use his bedroom or get in trouble with the police. So, no drugs, nothing illegal and no one steps a foot inside his bedroom, which shouldn’t be a problem because this house has three in total,” Jimmy warned as he walked inside as well, Dean and Cas following behind him, still holding hands. It was weird because Dean had never held hands with someone before but, strangely enough, he didn’t want to let go. Castiel’s hand was warm, big, and strong and he liked having it grip his own.

He took his time to look around and take in the bright, huge open space they were standing in. It was the living space with an open plan kitchen. One side of the room was a glass façade with a terrace facing the beach and Dean suddenly realized how close they were to the ocean. It just clicked that Gabriel’s house in Belmont Shore was directly located on the beachfront and so the ocean was about two minutes away. Dean couldn’t believe Jimmy managed to make this possible for him and he would hug the man if he was a hugger. But he wasn’t, so he closed the space between them and whispered, “If we weren’t taking it slow, I’d make this up to you with amazing sex.”

Dean traced the tip of his nose along the shell of Jimmy’s ear and grinned widely as the man shuddered at the touch, then withdrew from him and met Sam’s raised eyebrows, answering it with a shrug.

“Tell Gabriel we owe him a favor,” Cas said, meeting first Jimmy’s, then Dean’s eyes where he lingered for a moment. There was a small, content smile on his beautiful lips and Dean wanted to kiss it.

Chuckling, Jimmy advised, “Don’t. Really, you’ll regret owing him a favor. Besides, he told us that it’s no big deal and that we’re not the only friends he’s allowed to stay here.”

Then, Jimmy grabbed Dean’s hand and tugged him toward the doors at the other end of the room, ordering the others to follow. He made sure to catch Jessica’s and Sam’s attention before pointing at the door at their right and saying, “This is going to be your room, feel free to do whatever. Just make yourself at home.”

Placing a well-manicured hand on his shoulder, Jess said, “thank you,” at the same time as Sam opened the door and gave a polite “thanks.” The two entered the room and deposited their bags in front of the bed, taking a look around. “This is truly amazing,” Jess exclaimed, gazing at the twins and directing a grin at Dean. Sam was more modest with his gratitude than his girlfriend and he merely nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets, but Dean knew how impressed he was that Jimmy arranged all this just so that Dean could see the ocean for the first time in his life.

“We’ll be bringing our stuff to the other room, then we can meet here again to make a list of all the things we want to buy later for the campfire,” Jimmy informed, already turning around to lead his twin and Dean to their room for the night. It was at the end of the hall and Dean’s jaw almost dropped open at the breathtaking view they had from there as the raven-haired opened the door and stepped inside.

“Wow…” Dean breathed out, dropping his bags and walking to the window front that also faced the beach. Turning around with wide eyes, he asked, “And Gabe can afford to live in here? That’s not even the master bedroom, what is that supposed to look like then…? Does it, like, have an all-around panoramic view or what?”

The twins merely grinned at him, Cas placing their bags on the beige bedroom bench and Jimmy closing the door behind him with a quiet _click._

Dean turned around again, enjoying the view and watching in awe as the waves broke on the beach. The water seemed to be a deep blue and he wanted so badly to just jump head over heels into it but he knew it was too cold for that. Sticking his feet into it would have to do.

He was ripped out of his reverie as one of the twins wrapped their arms around his middle, pulled them back against their body, and buried their face in the crook of his neck, taking a deep breath. When that someone spoke, Dean realized it was Jimmy and he placed his hands above his, relaxing into the embrace slightly while listening to that husky voice saying, “When you told me that you’ve never seen the ocean before, the first thing I had in mind was this room. I’ve been here about five months ago with some friends and I knew I needed Gabe to agree to this. I wasn’t sure if it would be too much but now that I’m seeing your expression, I know this was the right decision.”

Jimmy placed a trail of warm kisses along the slope of his neck and Dean barely kept from squirming – _damn you ticklishness!_ – as he turned around in his arms to face the blue-eyed. He realized Cas was standing right beside them and he smiled sheepishly when he leaned forward and kissed Jimmy while Castiel was watching. It still felt weird to do that – kiss someone with another one watching intently, both of which were twins _and_ his boyfriends. Dean could imagine getting used to it, though, but when he thought about having sex with one of them, with the other right next to them, it seemed more like a fantastic wet dream than something that could be reality in near future.

After a long time, Jimmy and Dean needed a break to take in some air and he finally got the chance to whisper, “Thank you so much, Jimmy.”

He buried his face in Dean’s sandy hair and spoke a muffled, “Anything for you, Dean,” into it at the same time as Cas breached the space left between them and stepped behind Dean, wrapping his arms around him as well and snaking his hands between Jimmy’s and his bodies to place them possessively on Dean’s stomach.

In the short time that they’ve known each other, Dean soon realized that it was one of Castiel’s habits to do so, for whatever reason. But he didn’t complain because he actually liked having those nice hands on him. Jimmy, on the other hand, seemed to have found a liking to nuzzle Dean’s neck, which he allowed just as easily.

Though, he still had trouble identifying them when he didn’t have a face to go with. And it wasn’t really their faces that helped Dean know who he was looking at because, as identical twins, they almost looked exactly the same. It was rather the hair that did the job. While Cas’ seemed to always be some sort of bed-hair with locks curling around his ears and a few strands falling to his forehead, Jimmy’s seemed to be a little more tamed and shorter – his hair looked combed in contrast to Castiel’s. Their clothes were a lot of help as well because, where Jimmy’s style was casual and his wardrobe consisted of worn tees and faded slim jeans, sometimes even a few Henleys, Castiel was all about slacks and dress shirts – plus his flappy, beige trench coat that he hopefully only wore in winter because it made him look stiff. And Cas wasn’t a stiff man; not at all. Like his brother, he was well in shape, had super amazing, strong thighs and a broad chest. The difference between them was only that Jimmy showed it openly while Cas hid it underneath well-fitting shirts. Although, when he bent just right or tightened a muscle and the fabric strained, Dean was able to see all of that perfectly fine…

 _Oh_ , and their voices. There was only a tiny difference between them, so tiny that it was impossible to describe, but it was there nonetheless and hearing it so close to his ear, trying to figure out who spoke and concentrating on the way the spoken words fell from those lips, never ceased to make Dean’s breath hitch just the slightest or his skin turn into gooseflesh.

Pressing a kiss into the nape of his neck, Cas whispered, “We better go back now, unless you want to leave your brother and his girlfriend waiting.”

“You’re right,” Dean agreed, slightly withdrawing from Jimmy to look at him, who nodded once with a happy grin on his face.

“Can you bear waiting to go to the beach just a little longer?”

Snorting, Dean rolled his eyes playfully at Jimmy, trying to hide his smirk and letting his hands fall back to his sides as Cas simultaneously retracted his arms from around Dean and took a step back. Then the three of them walked back towards the door and exited the room, joining the pair already waiting for them in the living space.

Two and a half hours later, the five of them brought back three bags of groceries and a few other things and Dean had to admit that shopping with his family was more fun than he thought it to be. They even managed to find compromises with Sam and Jess whenever something was chosen that was either too much of a sugar bomb, unhealthy, or something consisting of meat. While Sam and Jessica suggested they make a salad and Cas found it a good idea, Jimmy and Dean insisted to buy at least some chicken strips for their own salads and everyone was happy at the end.

They all decided to go with food on sticks beside the salad and so they bought a lot of different vegetables and fruits like onions, peppers, zucchinis, some berries, a pineapple, grapes, even some mushrooms, and cheese. For the non-vegetarians – or partly vegetarian, when it came to Sammy – they also bought bacon to go with the healthy stuff. Jimmy had the idea to make bread on a stick since they had a ‘theme’, and so it was added to the shopping list, along with typical snacks like crackers, potato chips, and marshmallows, deciding to forgo corn, to Sam’s utter displeasure.

Add to that a few packs of soda, a six-pack of beer, a pack of firewood, and campfire sticks and it equaled to three bags.

After said bags were put onto the countertop in the kitchen, Jessica and Sam were quick to unpack them and place the drinks in the fridge to keep them cold, while Cas ripped open the packages of the stuff they’d need for the salad and sticks and scattered their contents all over the counter for them to be chopped. This was the part that Dean loved the most about cooking – the chopping. “You just snatch a sharp knife and get to slice open some nice peppers. Then comes the _chop chop_!”

He was smiling brightly as the others watched him dice the vegetable in expertise and smooth swivels of his wrist. Next to him, Cas had grabbed a knife as well, preparing the mushrooms for the sticks, while Jess took it upon herself to prepare the pineapple. Sam took care of the cheese and Jimmy washed the salad and berries.

While Dean didn’t mind being alone in the kitchen or cooking for just himself, having so much and productive company sure was a pleasant change for once, especially when Cas slid his cutting board closer to his and pressed his hip against Dean’s side. Meeting his gaze, Dean could see Castiel was trying to hide his amused smile at using Dean’s body so shamelessly for his own comfort but there was also a mischievous glint in his sapphire eyes that had a pleasurable shudder running down Dean’s spine. And cocky as he was, the blonde pressed back into Cas’ side and smirked at the low chuckle coming from his boyfriend, stubbornly keeping eye contact.

“You better concentrate on your chopping, Dean. I wouldn’t want you to accidentally slice your fingers. That would be a shame…” His eyes flicked down to Dean’s hands and a second later, there was a tongue darting out and licking across his plush lips.

“Yeah?” Dean asked, speeding up his movements a little while still looking at Cas to provoke him. “Why’s that? You like my hands, too?”

Locking his eyes onto Dean’s again, Castiel answered, “Don’t play games, Dean.” Then he stepped even closer and leaned forward to brush his lips against his ear, whispering, “There are so many things those hands could do, so many things I’d like to see them do…”

Sometimes, Dean got the feeling that Cas intentionally lowered his voice whenever he said something sultry to stir his arousal, which worked just fine. God, he’d be so amazing at dirty talk, Dean knew.

 _Oh_ , to use that gravelly voice to whisper obscenities into his ear while having him on his hands and knees…

But they were taking it slow, so a round of dirty sex in a beach house wasn’t an option. _Yet_.

Speaking in a normal voice once more, Cas asked, “And what do you mean by the question ‘if I liked your hands too’?”

Dean threw a look over his shoulder to stare at Jimmy, snorting indignantly before meeting Cas’ gaze again. “Well, I happened to find out Jimmy thinks my hands are nice. And based on that fact, he assumed I was a sex worker, not a mechanic.”

Suddenly, the room went silent for a very short moment, everyone stopping in their tracks, before Sam sputtered loudly, almost choking on his own spit, and Jessica and Cas erupted in loud laughter. When Dean looked at Jimmy once more, there was a deep blush covering his cheeks and the tips of his ears, and his eyebrows were raised in an accusing expression, which he directed towards Dean.

Still laughing slightly, Cas turned to face his twin and said in an amused tone, “Smooth, and I thought I was the awkward one when it comes to socializing.”

Chuckling, Sam mused, “Turns out you’re not.”

“Why’d you even think that?”

At that, Jimmy met Dean’s eyes in a way to ask for permission to tell the story, probably unsure if it was a safe topic with his brother around. But since that had been taken care of already and they were past the awkward phase, Dean nodded with a smile on his face.

“I’m not sure myself where that came from… it’s just… Dean told me he was a sexual Submissive and unlike Cas, I don’t have any experience in that field but I’ve heard about professional Subs once and because Dean has those nice and elegant hands, I kinda assumed he’d… you know?” He cleared his throat once, drying off his hands in the towel to distract from his past mistake.

“I think it’s flattering, really. It’s not every day someone tells you that you look so good you could be a professional,” Dean assured Jimmy, although he had told him before that he wasn’t offended, while waving his hands in front of his face in a dramatic way and grinning widely.

Placing a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, Jessica said, “Hey, it’s a lovely story, we know you didn’t mean to offend. It’s quite the opposite, you know, ‘cause now we get to tell all our friends that Dean has been mistaken for a prostitute and Sam here almost choked on his own spit at hearing it!” She laughed again, wheezing, “It’s hilarious! Really.”

With an amused smile, Sam chimed in, “Yeah, there’s one thing you gotta know about this little family of ours – we don’t take each other too seriously sometimes. Especially Dean, the jerk is a big tease and as soon as there’s a possibility for him to talk shit or embarrassing stuff about me, he does. Beware of telling him secrets.”

Laughing, Dean joked, “Ha! Like that one time, you thought the closet was the toilet and you just realized you were taking a shit in a carton when you didn’t find the flushing?! Yeah, that was fucking amazing!”

While the others all burst into laughter, Jessica even holding her stomach with the effort of her cackling, Sam’s face turned grim, his eyes forming into slits of betrayal and he pointed an accusatory finger at Dean, explaining, “I was six! It was the first time I spent the night at Bobby’s, it was dark and I didn’t have time to make sure it was the freaking toilet! I can’t believe you just told everyone that!” His voice was high and strained, his face red with embarrassment. 

There was only one thing that could have made this situation even funnier – Sam throwing back his hair over his shoulder dramatically as they did in cartoons – but Dean was wheezing by now nonetheless and his whole body shook with his laughter as Sammy’s face turned bright red as a tomato. “Don’t worry, I won’t say another thing about you tonight. You’re in the clear, for now.”

“Haha, you ass.”

Rubbing his arm affectionately, Jessica tried coaxing Sam out of his displeased expression and said, “Come one, Sam, it’s half as bad as you think. It’s funny, that’s all.”

“You might think it’s funny,” his voice was gruff and he turned back to start chopping the things Jimmy had washed before, which reminded Dean that he wasn’t done with his own vegetables either, so he resumed dicing them.

“Well, if it’s any consolation, Cas and I have various childhood stories about us that are just as embarrassing,” Jimmy assured, grinning lopsidedly at his twin.

Lifting his right hand to point the knife in it at Jimmy, Castiel warned, “Don’t you dare tell any of those to Dean!”

“Oh, are you afraid I’ll laugh at you?” Dean teased in a playful voice, pressing his side into Cas’ body and leaning in to stare directly into his eyes.

“No, but if you did, you’d regret it,” he answered in a lowered tone, lifting one eyebrow that Dean had come to know as his Dom brow. The expression never ceased to make Dean want to obey his every word.

Steering the conversion into another, family-friendly direction, Jessica said, “It must have been nice to grow up with an identical twin, you know, looking at your own face every day and getting to confuse other people.”

With a sincere smile, Jimmy answered, “It has its advantages.”

They all went back to prepare the food now but everyone listened intently when Cas said, “Growing up, Jimmy and I were best friends, we still are, but as a child, I soon realized that I didn’t need many people around me. I had my brother and that has always been enough. And since I always got nervous around other people or as soon as I was bound to talk to more than one person, I didn’t go out like others to seek friends or make connections. Jimmy, on the other hand, had a ton of friends, though he used to tell me I’d always be his best friend.” He chuckled slightly and when Dean looked at him, there was a warm smile on his lips and his voice was sincere as he continued, “It’s still the same today. I mean, I am not nervous around people anymore, but since I never learned how to socialize it happens to be a bit awkward sometimes. Jimmy always says my ‘people skills are rusty’,” he even air-quoted with his fingers and Dean grinned. “His job as a tattooist requires a certain amount of confidence and social skills and I think it helps a lot to meet so many different people through it. I only sit in an office and the only people I meet there are my boss and some colleagues, that are, by the way, not as funny as they think they are.”

That made him laugh quietly and he pictured Castiel rolling his eyes at a supposedly hilarious joke that was, in fact, not funny at all. “I don’t think that’s a bad trait, y’know? It suits you,” Dean assured, giving Cas a tender smile.

“If it makes you feel better, Cas,” Jessica turned around to look at him, “I wouldn’t have noticed. Really, you seem rather confident to me. The way you talk to Dean…” She waggled her eyebrows at him with a knowing smile and turned back around to resume making the salad.

Chuckling, Jimmy said, “Oh yeah, well, you have to know that, by the time Cas had already had sex with his partners, there’s no more awkwardness.”

When Cas looked at Jimmy with raised eyebrows, there was a challenge in his eyes and Sam met their gazes questioningly, asking, “What do you mean?”

Sighing, Castiel explained, “He means the fact that I am demisexual and therefore only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed, which usually takes up to a few months even. The whole process of dating someone and forming a bond takes its time, so I don’t have sex with new partners for a long while for that matter, and so there’s bound to be awkwardness in the getting-to-know-each-other phase.” He locked his eyes onto Dean’s and lingered there before looking at Sam.

“ _Usually_ ,” Jimmy reminded with a smirk and received a smack on the chest from Cas for that.

“Yes, it seems that I have skipped all that with Dean.”

“So,” Sam cleared his throat awkwardly and gazed at Cas with an odd expression, “does that mean you changed your sexuality for my brother?”

 _God_ , Sam!

Dean sighed inwardly at his stupid brother and rolled his eyes, watching Jimmy’s amused smile and Cas’ fond expression closely. He didn’t seem to mind the question, to Dean’s relief.

“I don’t think I did, I’m still gay and I am most certain that, if I met another person in the future, I’d still not be able to feel sexual attraction without knowing them and forming an emotional bond. With Dean, it just happened.”

Sam nodded slowly, probably trying to process this information and trying to figure out its significance. “Okay, well… why? I’m sorry to ask all that, I’m just, you know, not the most experienced guy when it comes to all those things. Jess had to help me out with all that BDSM stuff before and I get that.”

Cas met Dean’s eyes again and smiled fondly, saying, “I wish I knew.”

There was a quiet “oh” coming from Sam at that and Dean grinned.

Now it was Jessica’s turn to say what was on her mind and she said, “I heard that, just like Dean, you were bisexual, Jimmy. It’s fascinating to see just how different you two are from another.”

“Yeah, a lot of people assume that, because we’re twins, we have to be the exact same. Like the same stuff, wear the same stuff, do the same stuff… But we’re truly not. We are two very different individuals with different orientations and lifestyles, although there are a lot of things we have in common, too.”

Waggling her eyebrows once more, Jessica teased, “Like an attraction to a certain green-eyed Winchester?”

Dean flat out snorted at that and the others laughed, Jimmy nodding and Cas agreeing, “Yes, that would be one thing.”

“Isn’t it also hard?” Sam chimed in, directing a cautious look at the twins before adding, “Growing up with a twin? I mean, it’s already hard as a younger brother to be as cool and open as your big brother…” at which Dean turned questioning eyes at him, frowning.

This was the first time Dean had ever heard Sam say that. He always assumed that his brother had it easy, what with his smarts and talent. He always had a bunch of friends and girls wanting him and as the genius he was, he had every door opened for him to have a bright future. If anything, Dean thought he had all the reasons to feel like standing in his brother’s shadow but that was never something that he thought about. All that ever mattered was his baby brother’s happiness and Dean had always been proud of Sam, no matter how stupid and insignificant he felt next to him. He never had a reason to feel the need to compete with Sammy.

His voice wavered just the slightest when he asked, “You never told me that, Sam. Is this really how you feel?”

With a slight shrug, Sammy said, “Well, yeah. Sometimes.”

“Why? What do I have to offer that you don’t? If anything, you have all that plus so much more.”

Sighing, his brother stopped spearing veggies on a stick and turned around to face him fully. “Are you kidding? You’re amazing, Dean. In school, everyone always talked about that cool Winchester guy and it wasn’t me. You’ve always been somehow famous and you charm everyone around you. You’re smart,” Dean wanted to deny that, but before he could, Sammy raised a hand at him and continued, “don’t try to dispute that, Dean. You may not see it, but everyone around you does. You’re smart in your own way. You’re open-minded, tolerant, vibrant and so loyal. The people in your life can be glad to know someone like you. And besides the fact that you’re funny and easy on the eyes, you’re also the most loving and caring person I know and I always wanted to be like you, but it’s just impossible to reach that if your brother is Dean Winchester.”

Swallowing back the emotions threatening to spill over, Dean merely said, “Sammy, I… I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t, Dean. Because your self-esteem is so low, sometimes I wonder if it even exists. And that’s the biggest mystery of it all,” he scoffed at himself and met Dean’s eyes with sincere ones, “How can someone be as incredible as you and have zero self-respect? But we’re working on that, I swear. This wasn’t meant to be accusatory at all, I just wanted to show you how different we see each other because I’m not the greatest man on earth, Dean. And you’re not a liability. I didn’t say it to make you feel bad either.” He placed a soothing hand on Dean’s shoulder and when he spoke again, his voice was soft. “I love you, Dean. And I was never jealous of you because you deserve the world. I’m just saying that, in certain situations, it’s hard to be your brother. But I’m not complaining and it’s not at all a bad thing.” Clapping his hand down on Dean’s shoulder once in a cheerful manner, Sam said, “Now, c’mon, put that dashing smile on again and don’t worry about it.”

Nodding, Dean did as he was told and put on a small smile while turning back to continue making the sticks, even though Sam’s words lingered in his mind and played on repeat.

He was unbelievably thankful for Castiel, as he pressed back into his side again to remind him of where he was and to ground him, being a solid and soothing weight against Dean. And he was also grateful for Jimmy as he admitted, “You’re right, Sam. It was and sometimes still _is_ hard to be a twin. One of the worst things about it is that we’re constantly being compared. It’s always ‘so, you’re not as smart as your brother’ or ‘guess you’re the normal one’, although I don’t think that was meant to be offending at my expense.”

“It’s true. While there’s nothing wrong with being a twin, it does come with a few things you wish you could live without. Like the comparisons and statements like ‘since you’re twins, he must be as weird as you’ or absolutely inappropriate questions like ‘did someone ever had both of you in bed, because if yes, I’d like to know if you’re truly identical?’ Especially those stupid questions are what I could live without.” Dean had never seen Cas roll his eyes, but now that he did, he had to admit that it did things to him…

Chuckling, Jess commented, “I can imagine that it gets on your nerves pretty fast.”

“Oh, it does. Particularly so when the questions aren’t only inappropriate but completely idiotic,” Cas assured. “Like that one time, a friend of mine brought over another friend and told him that I had an identical twin. After that, I had to listen to things such as ‘does that mean you have the same birthday?’ or ‘is your twin a sister or a brother?’”

Laughing, Jimmy said, “I know this kind of dumbasses! One time, I got asked if Cas and I could tell each other apart, I mean,” they all burst into laughter at that and he continued, “nothing trumps that.”

After they calmed down from their amusement, they fell into comfortable silence and finished preparing the sticks, the salad, and the bread on sticks. By the time they were done with that, it was already past seven and the sun had set, so they all decided to start collecting their stuff and carry it to the beach.

Jimmy watched as Dean walked towards the fireplace with confident and long strides, his eyes focused on the water, while he carried two blankets, a pack of beer, and the salad in his hands. It was obvious how much he wanted to just drop everything and walk straight to the water and Jimmy smiled fondly at him as he came to a stop in front of the fireplace and laid down the blankets. After that, he put the beers next to them and the salad on top of one blanket, standing straight and watching the waves break on the beach.

The air was crisp and sharp, a slight sliver of frost floating around, and he could smell the ocean and sand thanks to the wind carrying it over to them.

Next to him, Jessica, Sam, and Cas began to place down their things as well, so Jimmy followed suit and crouched to open the pack of firewood and put enough of it in the middle of the fireplace to prepare the campfire. For a moment, he was concentrating on arranging the wood and once it looked good enough, he stood again and straightened. When he looked up, Dean was already gone but it only took a second for him to find the blonde standing by the water, his shoes and socks discarded in the sand.

With a happy smile, Jimmy turned to look at the others and saw that they were busy preparing everything, so he informed, “I’ll be with Dean,” and walked towards the blonde, who was sticking a foot into the water, only to jerk it out again, hissing.

“Cold?” he asked, stepping behind Dean and observing him closely.

“Heck yes.” Turning around to meet his eyes, Dean said, “But that’s not gonna stop me.” And stubborn as he was, Dean took a few steps into the water so that every time a wave broke, his feet were buried in the water to his ankles.

Chuckling, Jimmy hurried to take off his shoes and socks as well, and once he did, he stepped into the water behind Dean and wrapped his arms around his middle, resting his chin on the blonde’s shoulder. “It’s fucking freezing.”

Dean laughed at that, a hearty sound that echoed around them and made Jimmy’s chest tighten with adoration and love. “It’s fantastic.”

“You enjoying it?” he asked, nuzzling his neck and pressing a kiss into the warm skin there.

“Hmhmm,” Dean hummed, nodding his head slightly as he stared off into the darkness. The water was only visible whenever a wave glistened in the moonlight shining down on it from above and it reminded Jimmy of Dean’s eyes whenever the man laughed. “Thank you. Now I’ve not only seen but felt the ocean.”

Grinning happily, Jimmy trailed a line of kisses along the edge of Dean’s jaw and stopped to place one on his pillowy lips. “I’m happy that you’re happy.”

There was a content hum at that and Dean leaned back into Jimmy’s embrace, placing his hands on Jimmy’s arms and turning his head just slightly to meet his lips. They shared a soft and passionate kiss then and Jimmy couldn’t have been happier.

After that, they merely watched the ocean in peaceful quiet, listened to the sounds of waves, and felt the water rush over their feet, which, Jimmy had to admit, started to numb just a little. But he ignored that in favor of enjoying merely standing there with his amazed boyfriend, relishing the moment. And it only just then dawned on him that he was starting something big and great with this man and his brother – that this was only the beginning of something so much more than life had offered him before and he couldn’t wait for it.

This all seemed so surreal. Sometimes, Jimmy wondered if this was only his wild imagination but then he would see his brother, see the way he looked at Dean, and experience with his own body the way this man made him feel – sending all his nerve endings on fire in a freaking fantastic way. And he knew his mind couldn’t make that up if he wanted.

A while of blissful silence alter, Jimmy whispered into Dean’s ear, “There’s going to be a New Year’s Eve celebration at the waterfront but we are far away enough that the music will be more of a background tune, though we’ll have the perfect view of the fireworks at midnight. I thought it would be nicer to celebrate in private since we haven’t met your family before and we thought this would be a good opportunity to get to know them.” He ended his sentence with a kiss to the shell of Dean’s ear, making the blonde shiver slightly.

“Thanks, that’s nice. They really wanted to meet you after everything I told them.” He turned around in his arms, slowly, and kissed Jimmy properly, opening his mouth to his greedy tongue and letting Jimmy taste him.

“Come on, you lovebirds, Sam’s got the fire started, we can eat in a few minutes!”

Jessica’s call for them had Dean chuckling against Jimmy’s lips and he took a step back, laughing himself. For a moment, they merely stood there, gazing at each other in the dark while laughing slightly, before he took Dean’s hand in his own and strode out of the water. He picked up their shoes and socks and led his boyfriend back to the fire where the others had already taken their seats. Jessica and Sam sat together on one blanket and they left the one directly facing the ocean for the three of them, where Cas rested on, watching them approach with a small smile.

“We thought you’d want to keep an eye on the water,” Sam said as Jimmy and Dean sat down next to Castiel, so that their boyfriend was in the middle, surrounded by the twins.

Grinning widely, Dean mused, “So thoughtful of you,” and met his brother’s eyes for a moment. Then, he started rubbing off the sand from his feet – that were certainly as ice-cold as Jimmy’s – to take on his shoes and socks again and Jimmy followed suit to prevent getting a cold. Or, well, prevent anything other from happening. It was probably already too late to hope getting out of this without the sniffles.

“How are your feet, you two must be freezing?” Cas asked, as if knowing what Jimmy just thought about, and reached behind himself to grab one of the many blankets they had taken with them in case the air got even fresher, extending it to Dean.

Once the blonde had his shoes back on, he took the blanket with a grateful smile and placed it above his legs and feet, making sure Jimmy and Cas fit underneath it as well. “I think I know now why there are no surfers in the winter,” Dean joked, making Cas laugh and the others snort loudly, “Guess I’ll have to come back in the summer.”

“You better be,” Castiel said, his eyes locking onto Dean’s, “We can promise you that it won’t take long after you’ve gone back home until we come visit you.”

With a smirk, Jimmy agreed, “That’s true.”

After that, they fell into an easy conversation and talked about the beach trips they used to have. Since Dean couldn’t really keep up with the conversation, he picked around in the fire with a stick to get it to burn brighter and then started to spear the sticks with the bread into the sand, so that they were partly over the fire without having to be held. When he was done with that, he told a story about how he and his brother had found that lake once and that he tried teaching a five-year-old Sammy how to swim in its disgusting water. Dean said that it had taken almost the entire afternoon until Sam had finally been able to swim six feet from where Dean was back to the shore and Sam bitterly informed that the main thing he remembered from that day was how much of that nasty brown lake water he had swallowed throughout it. The only reaction from his older brother to that was a hearty laugh and the reassurance that, even if he did swallow a ton of that water-feces-mixture, he hadn’t gotten sick because Winchesters are tough folks.

And while Dean and Sam bickered about their questioning lifestyle as kids and Dean’s recklessness when it came to showing Sam certain things and taking care of him, Jimmy couldn’t help but think that it must have been amazing to grow up with Dean. He didn’t have a bad childhood at all and he and Cas had always had such a close connection that others were constantly jealous of that. Their father’s absence and Naomi's disinterest in them hadn’t dampened their time together in the least and from what Jimmy could hear about Sam and Dean’s childhood, their father hadn’t been around much either – Castiel had told Jimmy about Mary, so he knew why she hadn’t been there. But still, having had a big brother as caring and adventurous as Dean to show you how things were done and to grow up with must have been nice.

They soon each grabbed a bowl of salad and a stick with veggies to start roasting them over the fire and Jimmy couldn’t quite believe how harmonious just sitting together in front of a campfire could be. His company, this harmony, and that welcome feeling of happiness bubbling up inside him, all accompanied by the relaxing sounds of waves already added in the best New Year’s Eve he had ever had.

Jimmy was so glad they managed to get together with Dean and his family. Jessica and Sam seemed truly amazing and caring, although the younger Winchester kept glancing at Cas and him with a suspicious expression once in a while when Dean wasn’t looking, but Jimmy could tell that it was merely his instinct to protect his big brother and he completely understood that. It probably wasn’t every day that Dean came home to tell his brother that he was entering a polyamorous relationship with a pair of twins – who, as a matter of fact, merely met him a few days ago.

Sometimes, thinking about it still made Jimmy a bit nervous but then he’d think about all the things they could do together, and his worries were gone.

Dean was the first one to eat the veggies and bacon from his stick, even though everyone told him that he would have to at least wait a few minutes to let it cool off, but stubborn as he was, the blonde pulled off a piece of pineapple, a mushroom, a piece of a pepper, and bacon all at once from the hot stick with his teeth and chewed with his mouth open while trying to cool it off with his breath. Everyone burst out into laughter at Dean’s antics, waiting for their own food to cool down before eating it themselves.

The sticks tasted delicious and Jimmy loved watching Dean enjoy his food, he even ate the salad with a happy smile on his face – probably because it helped cool his mouth. By the time the veggies on sticks and the salad had been eaten, the bread on sticks were ready and they each grabbed one, waiting for it to be in a temperature that didn’t burn their insides. Once that had been achieved, they all enjoyed the bread while talking about the summer they had before their conversation was about camping and Dean commented, “We did that once, remember? Dad took us on a hunting trip when you were, what, about six? I recall that we slept in a tent, the old man wanting us to be able to survive in the wild, and in that night, you told me about your first crush, Eileen.”

“Oh, yeah, you told me about her once. She was that sweet deaf girl, right?” Jessica asked enthusiastically and Sam smiled, nodding.

Chuckling, Dean said, “Man, he was like a lovesick puppy when they met at school, came home every day to tell me all about her and teaching me sign language. The only time he was even worse was when he met you, Jess. Once, we walked down a street, and Sammy was so enthralled by telling me a story about you, that he straight-up ran over a little boy.” He was laughing again now and it was intoxicating as always. “Jesus, hearing him stammer out an apology to the kid’s mother with his face all red was hilarious.”

“Well, you laughing at my side like a jerk didn’t make that situation any better,” Sam complained, trying to hide his amusement by faking anger.

“I think that’s sweet,” Cas said, leaning into Dean’s side to press their shoulders together and looking at the pair next to them. “What was your first crush?”

Smiling, Jessica answered, “Oh! When I was like ten I had the biggest crush on Harrison Ford. I even matched up our names.”

“I knew why I liked you so much!” Dean clapped his hands together and smiled, “I always knew I couldn’t be the only one thinking he looked dang good in Star Wars.” Jimmy was even sure that he heard a quiet “he was my man-crush” coming from Dean, but it could’ve also been his imagination.

“God, yes, he still looks good, though.” Jessica and Dean nodded in unison as they seemed to think about that for a second before she turned bright eyes on them and asked, “What about you? Who were your first crushes?”

With a small smile, Cas admitted, “I never had one.”

“Oh, right… that has been going on forever with you, right?” When Castiel nodded, Jessica looked at Jimmy and asked, “And you?”

He had to think about that for a moment since no one had ever asked him this before but he found his answer pretty quickly and turned to meet his twin’s eyes. “Do you remember that girl that used to live next door? What was her name…?”

“Amelia,” Cas answered for him and they laughed. “She was crazy. You liked her?”

“I guess I did. She liked me too, you know? Used to write me those letters in school with all these hearts surrounding her scribbling.” He grinned and leaned back again, watching Dean crack open a beer and downing half of it on one go, his eyes inadvertently following the bob of his Adam's apple. Swallowing back his arousal, he asked, “What about you?”

Chuckling, Dean put the bottle of beer between his delicious thighs and squeezed them together to hold it between them while he leaned back on his hands and looked at his boyfriends, one after the other. “Rhonda Hurley.”

Sam frowned while opening the crackers and snacking one. “Really? I thought it was Carrie Fisher.”

“Haha, that wasn’t a crush, I just really wanted to look at her in that bikini the entire day.”

“Okay, but seriously, I thought it was someone else.”

Sam ate some more crackers before Dean reached over Cas’ legs to pluck the package out of his hands and stuffing crackers into his mouth until it was full, asking an almost muffled, “Who?”

“I don’t know,” Sam shrugged, “Cassie? Or Lee…”

Finishing chewing the crackers, Dean said, this time without his mouth full, “No, it was Rhonda. Cassie was my first love, if you’ll call it like that. But, hey, did you know, I actually met Rhonda again once when I was nineteen?! God, lemme tell ya, she just got hotter.”

With closed eyes, Sam shook his head at his brother’s waggling eyebrows and guessed, “You made out?” before stuffing a marshmallow into his mouth.

“Oh, we didn’t just make out. She made me try on her pink and satiny panties and then we had awesome sex on her dining table, with me still in them.”

At that, Cas almost choked on his beer and Sam made a noise of disgust. And yeah, Jimmy could picture Dean in lingerie and he had to admit that he’d gladly fuck the man’s brains out while he was wearing a pair.

Chuckling darkly, Dean leaned into Cas and brushed his lips against his ear, whispering, “You’d like that, don’t you?” Castiel merely stared at Dean with lust-filled eyes, his lips partly opened and Jimmy could relate to that feeling. He watched, amused, as Dean pointedly focused his eyes on Cas’ crotch with a mischievous grin on his face and said, in a sultry voice, “Feeling stiff down there?”

There was a loud click as Cas swallowed thickly and his unwavering eyes locked on Dean’s, a challenge written in his features. It was fascinating, really. Ever since Jimmy knew Dean was a submissive, he imagined he’d be more shy and obedient, but he was actually pretty cheeky and teasing, daring a Dom like that.

The intense gaze they shared was interrupted by Sam clearing his throat loudly, looking at the pair with raised eyebrows and narrowed eyes. “No dirty talk in front of Sam, thanks.”

“Gee, Sam, don’t be such a prude. As long as we keep our clothes on, your eyes should be fine,” Dean teased, grinning.

“But my ears won’t be if you keep that up!”

“You two are such a bitch, you know that?” Jessica joked, hugging Sam and giving him a kiss. “Don’t you remember how we used to be? We couldn’t keep our hands off each other for months. Let them be, it’s cute. Especially the constant eye-sex they keep having.”

Standing up abruptly, Sam declared, “That’s it, I’m getting more firewood,” and walked towards their bags and other things to grab some wood, purposefully taking his time to stay away from them a little longer than necessary.

Leaning in to whisper in Dean’s ear, Jimmy asked, “Do you think we upset him?”

“Nah, he’s good. It’s just Sam. My sex life has never been his favorite topic, but don’t worry. He’s fine with us, he’s fine with me being bi and a Sub, and he’s fine with you two.” Then, Dean looked down at his crotch to where the crackers were resting and seemed to be deep in thought. A frown formed on his face and he mumbled, “Maybe he got that from dad…” scratching his eyebrow before asking out loud, “Anyone thirsty?” It had Jimmy realizing that he wasn’t meant to hear what Dean had said and that it had only been a thought spoken out louder than intended.

Jessica, Cas, and Jimmy agreed to have another beer and so Dean bent his body beautifully to reach the bottles behind him and hand one to each at the same time as Sam chose to come back and sit down again, probably deeming the topic of their conversation to be save enough to return. He put in the new wood and they all watched for a moment as the flames got higher and brighter until Dean mused, “How’d you even manage to start the fire, Sammy? When we went out into the woods in the summer, I always had to be the one to do it.” His tone was laced with sarcasm and Jimmy grinned.

Smiling cheekily, Sam answered, “I could, you know. I just pretended that I couldn’t so I wasn’t the one responsible in case we started a wildfire.” He seemed to have forgotten about his previous turmoil and was back to being the open and happy brother.

They laughed at that and Dean lobbed a cracker at Sam’s head, which he dodged like an expert without even looking, saying, “You sneaky bitch.”

“You had your tricks, I had mine, jerk,” Sam countered and made his brother laugh out loud once more.

When Dean laughed like this, his lovely peridot eyes shone in the dark and the crackling light of the fire, his face bright and open, so wonderfully youthful. Jimmy’s heart had never felt quite so full, and the feeling only grew when Dean met his eyes with that dazzling smile on his lips while chewing another cracker. Everything about him was stunning in that moment and he seemed to glow once more. And Jimmy couldn’t stop to take in the quirk of one corner of his mouth, the wrinkles around his eyes, just everything…

As he chanced a glance at his twin, Jimmy could see the same kind of unwavering adoration and love written in Cas’ eyes as they tracked every movement of this amazing man.

 _Yeah,_ they were two lucky guys to have found Dean.

After that, they speared a few marshmallows on their sticks to hold them into the fire and talked about their favorite snacks and meals. Time went by faster than ever and soon, they were interrupted by a loud bang as suddenly, red and green lights exploded in the sky above them and they realized with a start, that it was already midnight. They clinked their beers together as more fireworks followed, one after the other, and wished everyone a happy new year, laughing and smiling together and Jimmy was so happy, he felt tipsy.

The firework didn’t cease for about forty minutes and the five of them listened to its hissing and crackling as colors sparkled down like glitter, its light reflecting on the surface of the water and making the world seem to glisten and shine. Throughout it, Cas and Jimmy had their arms wrapped around Dean, just like Sam and Jess had around each other, and they watched in awe as the blonde grinned happily while his eyes tracked the lights.

_I love him._

This was their start. The beginning of something great. The new year could come because, for once, he was so freaking _ready_.

When Castiel last checked the time, it had been a few minutes past two and now he didn’t even know if it was still night or early morning.

After the firework, they had all taken a walk along the beach together and once they came back to their campfire, Dean had been so tired that he had thrown himself down onto one of the blankets and sprawled out across it. Jessica had decided that the space left on the blanket was enough for her and sat down next to Dean, grabbing two more blankets to wrap herself in one and use the other to cover Dean with. Jimmy, Sam, and Cas had taken the other blanket and were now talking quietly about everything and nothing at all. It was great to get to know Sam like this and have a conversation as open and relaxed as that. 

Dean was dosing slightly, his face smoothed out by unconsciousness, at least partly, and Jessica seemed to be more asleep than awake as well, though she was still sitting. Cas couldn’t help but admire Dean’s beautiful face and resting form in the low light of the fire and while the three of them continued to talk, he found his eyes drawn to his boyfriend like he was some kind of magnet until Sam asked, “Could I talk to you for a moment, alone?” and his head snapped back to look at the younger Winchester.

Jimmy and Cas nodded and they all stood, Sam leading them far enough away from Jess and Dean to not be overheard by them. When they came to a stop, Cas met Sam’s eyes and asked, “What do you want to talk about?”

Stuffing his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, Sam fixed them with a suspicious look and raised his shoulders. “I know this must be some new kind of experience for you two and I understand that it seems like a great opportunity to strengthen your bond by dating the same guy, but I swear… if you don’t mean this or if this is some kind of game to you, I’ll need you to leave, now.”

Cas was completely taken aback by those words and so Jimmy was the one to speak first as he assured, “This isn’t a game to us, Sam,” and Sam only appraised them with a critical eye.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, you two are nice guys and you’re definitely better than any other people Dean had dated up until now, but I’m serious. If you know you’re in over your heads or have just the slightest doubt that this will work, then I beg you to leave.” Frowning, Cas watched as Sam’s eyes welled up and he pinched the bridge of his nose to keep his emotions at bay. “He’s been hurt before. Badly. The problem with Dean is that he doesn’t see what’s good or bad for him and that has almost cost his life once,” his voice broke slightly at the confession and Castiel’s eyes widened in shock, his heart slowing down. “I’m only telling you this because it is necessary for you to know and since I know Dean, he probably won’t tell you about his past for a long while, at least not if it isn’t relevant. But it is. Since he’s been a teen, Dean has had depression, so bad so that he didn’t see the damage others did to him and it ended badly.” A tear managed to spill over but Sam was quick to wipe it away again, though his voice showed just how fresh the wound still was and how much it hurt talking about it. “I almost lost him, and I can’t, for the love of God, go through that again and he can’t either. Because he’s already so deep in with you that it would break him should you decide you’ve had your fun. And I swear to God, if you hurt him, I’ll hurt you.”

It was completely silent and only Jimmy’s thick swallowing could be heard over the rushing in Castiel’s ears at the words coming from Sam and the confession about his brother. He should’ve known this. Cas should’ve known Dean had experience with depression merely by the way he talked down on himself and struggled to accept compliments. The panic attacks should have alerted him as well. Or even just the fact that Dean’s mood seemed to be unpredictable sometimes, like when he got from happy and satisfied to worried and freaked out this one morning. Cas should’ve known.

“That’s why I’m telling you to leave if you know you’re not up to it. Although Dean’s in much better shape now than he was back then, he still has days where he’s down and suddenly has dark thoughts and struggles to keep going. What he needs is someone who can help him get through it, help him get better. Or someone who at least understands him.”

Nodding, Cas assured, “There’s no bone in my body that doubts this is going to work. I want this, Sam. And so does Jimmy. Dean has changed things for us, things that we thought we had to live with. Your brother is the most amazing person I have ever met and I want to give back just as much as he gave us. If this means to tell him every day how special and loved he is, then that’s something I’d do in a heartbeat. We’ll show him that there are people besides his family that care about him and that he can trust. And I’m so unbelievably sorry to hear that life has treated him wrong thus far, but we’ll change that. I swear to everything I hold sacred that we’ll never give up on Dean. I could never.” His voice wavered audibly when he said, “I love him, Sam.”

There was a sympathetic, almost sad smile on Sam’s face when he sighed quietly, but before he could say anything, Jimmy interrupted, “Please give us a chance. We might not seem like the most understanding people in the world, but that’s wrong. Cas had been through so much in his life himself and he’d be perfect for Dean. He’d not just be someone who understands Dean at least somewhere, but someone to give him what he needs and to guide him. And I? Well, I’ll be there to make sure that Dean has everything he needs, that he’s treated right. Because… even though I never felt like this, I know that I love him as well and today has shown me just how much I want this. How much I want Dean. If I’d hurt him, I’d hurt myself.”

And yes, Cas felt the same. Merely thinking about leaving, not to speak, _hurting_ Dean churned his insides painfully and something deep within him went hollow at the thought. Imagining it hurt, doing it would kill him.

Breathing out loudly, Sam admitted, “Fuck, I’m just…” He pinched the bridge of his nose again. “He’s the most important person in my life and seeing him get hurt like this without me noticing has left deep wounds inside of me and I blame myself for it because I didn’t notice. I lived with him in one house every day throughout my entire childhood, I knew him ever since I was born and I still didn’t realize what was happening until it was almost too late. And I know– I know you guys don’t mean any harm, but it happens that you don’t realize what’s going on with the person closest to you, and I just… fuck, I’m just so scared it’ll happen again. And Cas, you’re a decent guy, and I see just how much you care for him, but… just the fact that you’re a Dom, it scares me. It makes me think that you’ll take advantage of that and end up hurting him anyway, regardless of whether or not you mean to do so or if it was unintentional. It just… God, I can’t.” Another tear slipped down his cheek and Cas had to hold back his own responding ones.

“That’s where I come in, Sam. I’m the neutral part of this relationship. I’ll see when something isn’t right, and – twin or not – if I see Cas treating Dean wrong, I will do everything to stop it.”

Speaking softly, Cas said, “I wish there was something we could do to ease your mind, Sam. I’m truly sorry this has bothered you the entire time but I can assure you that I’m not one of the extreme Doms. I don’t do life-threatening stuff, I even struggle to try things with Subs that they marked as soft limit. I don’t like beating, I don’t like whipping, and so I don’t do it. I am completely against total power exchange because my submissive is still my equal, and Master and Slave dynamics give me the creeps.”

With a small smile, Sam huffed, “Well, that’s soothing.”

“Is there anything else you want to know?” Castiel was determined to make Sam feel better about all this. 

Shrugging, he said, “I don’t know. But thanks, it did help a bit.” 

“If you have any questions at all, feel free to call us. We’ll gladly answer your questions,” Jimmy assured, sounding just as cautious and determined to convince Sam that they’re worthy of his older brother as Cas.

Sam gave them a slight nod and freed his hands from his pockets. “Thanks, guys, you two are good people and you don’t deserve to be questioned and tested like that, you just have to understand my part in this all, okay?”

“We do.”

“Okay, let’s head back, I said everything that I wanted,” Sam started turning around but swung back to face them and pointed a finger at him, adding, “Don’t tell Dean that we had this conversation or he’ll rip my head off.” Then, he turned and walked back towards Dean and Jessica, who were both sleeping next to each other by now.

Instead of sitting back down, Sam went to carefully wake up Jessica and Cas thought it a good idea to go back to the house and get ready for bed – it had, after all, been a long day. So he crouched next to Dean and placed his hand on his shoulder to rock him slightly, saying, “Dean? Come on, sleepyhead, let’s get you into bed.” He smiled happily when Dean cracked open his eyes and stared up at him owlishly, blinking past the sleep. And while his boyfriend tried to wake himself up enough to walk home, Cas saw that Jimmy had used his time to collect as much of their stuff as he could and that Jessica was up already, helping Sam kill the fire.

When he looked back down at Dean, the blonde had his eyes closed once again and Cas chuckled. “Hey, hey. None of that now, you’re not getting around helping us with that, Dean.”

Groaning softly, Dean opened his eyes again and sat up straight, sighing, “Fine!” and grabbing the blanket to throw it over his shoulder while standing up. Cas followed and got to his feet as well, starting to pick up the sticks and beer bottles scattered around the place, except, he couldn’t really see anything now that the fire was almost completely dimmed. Though, as he bent down to pick up something that looked like it might be a bottle, there was blue light illuminating his way and when he looked up, Dean grinned down at him cheekily. “You’re welcome.”

Smiling softly, Cas picked up all the bottles and sticks, and soon everything they had brought here was being carried back into the house again, merely leaving behind the burnt wood in the fireplace.

Once they arrived at their home for the night and Jimmy closed the door behind himself because he was the last to enter, they practically dropped everything and agreed to take care of that tomorrow. Jessica and Sam wished a goodnight and left to go into their bedroom and Cas walked into the kitchen to grab a glass and fill it with water from the tap, downing it in a few gulps and sighing in satisfaction. After that, he joined Dean and Jimmy where they were still waiting for him and they went into the bedroom as well.

The blonde was fast to reach their bags and grab some clothes for change, watching as Cas closed their door and smiling sweetly as he approached Dean. “You wanna join me in the shower? I’ve seen it is big enough to fit a dozen of people, so it should be fine.” He raised his eyebrows in question, smirking slightly.

From behind him, Jimmy leaned into Dean’s space and kissed his cheek, whispering, “I think that crosses the line from going slow to speeding things up pretty fast, don’t you?”

“So what about it?” He asked, shrugging, “You two have seen me naked before. ‘s nothing you haven’t already had the pleasure to discover.”

His tone was teasing and his smile mischievous and Castiel longed to go shower with him, have him naked and slick against himself, and roam his hands all over that supple body, but Jimmy was right. This was taking things too far for now, so he shook his head and said, “You’ll have to go without us, Dean.”

Forming his eyes into betrayed slits, Dean pointed a finger at him before turning around and facing Jimmy, accusing, “You two are no fun,” and walking away in a dramatic way that left Jimmy chuckling.

But Castiel could play that game, too, so he reached out and grabbed Dean’s wrist, dragging him back and pressing him against his chest. He met those deep, intense green eyes and lowered his voice when he said, “Oh, dear, I can be so much fun, you’ll find your head spinning for hours after I’ve reduced you to desperate pleads and shameless moaning.” Teasingly, Cas brushed his lips against Dean’s jaw, making sure to slide his tongue along its edge to taste the salt of his boyfriend’s skin, grinning triumphantly at the hitch in Dean’s breath, before letting go suddenly and taking a step back.

Dean’s eyes were wide, his pupils blown wide and a beautiful flush covered his skin as he swallowed audibly and turned back around to walk into the bathroom without saying another word.

Chuckling, Jimmy said, “You’ll have to teach me that. I get the feeling that he’s into dirty talk…”

“Oh, he is. Believe me,” Cas assured, starting to take off his clothes to change for bed. Jimmy followed suit and they listened to the water run in the room beside them, smiling broadly as they imagined Dean all hot and bothered underneath the spray.

“Is that what you do?” Jimmy asked suddenly, sitting down on the bed to take off his socks while looking at Cas expectantly, “I mean, stuff like dirty talk?”

Shrugging, Cas fished out his toothbrush and paste and grabbed a towel before answering, “Occasionally, yes. Some Subs not only like to hear me talk filthy stuff but want me to verbally degrade them, they like to be humiliated. I, on the other hand, enjoy scenes where I don’t have to pretend the person I’m with is some kind of slut and can just say anything that’s on the tip of my tongue. Which doesn’t include insults or humiliating words at all.”

“Wow, really?”

“It’s always different. My favorites are Subs that like to be praised and called beautiful, which makes it easier for me. But dirty talk is fun as well.” Thinking about it, he wished Dean was more of the praise-keen submissive than someone who needed to be humiliated because he didn’t think he had it in him to insult the man. Everything about him was perfect.

The way he acted with them just now was exactly what he wanted in a Sub. Cheeky, daring, speaking his mind but still shy when it came to certain things, and, of course, obedient when he needed to be. And Cas found himself in awe with the blonde once again, because after everything he had been through, despite his trials, Dean had a radiant energy about him and it was alluring, to say the least

Castiel couldn’t wait to find out what he liked and what not.

“Guys? I forgot my towel!” Dean’s voice ripped him out of his thoughts and he laughed slightly. “Could anyone bring it to me, please?”

Jimmy was already walking into the bathroom, his hand holding the beige towel, and a few seconds later, he came back out, grinning.

“What?”

Shaking his head, Jimmy said, “There already was a towel in the corner of the room, that sneaky bastard. Thought I wouldn’t notice…”

Cas laughed heartily at that and grinned brightly when he commented, “Well, seems like someone wanted to be seen naked by us.”

“I did, twice now.” At Cas’ questioning look, Jimmy explained, “After we… you know, had sex… and before you came over, he took a shower and I brought his clothes into the bathroom. I didn’t even see his entire body but what my eyes had been offered had already been enough to stir my arousal. How does he even do that?”

Chuckling, Dean said, “It’s part of my charm,” and startled the two of them, who turned to look at Dean standing in the doorway with only a towel hung lowly around his hips.

There was a triumphant smile gracing his pink lips and Cas arched a brow at him, grinning softly and shaking his head in amused awe, eyes tracking down over Dean's body. “I thought you brought your clothes with you?”

“Oh, did I now? Well, must’ve forgotten that as well as my towel…” He feigned innocence and bit his lip shyly. And that was it, Cas couldn’t take more of this game without going feral and ravishing Dean, so he closed the space between them and backed his boyfriend up against the wall, caging him between his arms and leaning in to slip his tongue into Dean’s mouth. The blonde tasted like coming home, his lips soft, his tongue warm and slick. The kiss was hot and messy and when Cas pressed his crotch against Dean’s, he could feel a certain stiffness forming.

He dominated the kiss easily and smiled as Dean obeyed his tongue, letting Cas ravish his mouth and tasting every space of it. When Dean needed to breathe, Castiel didn’t stop to kiss the corner of his mouth, down to his ear, and further down the slope of his neck. And a moment later, he could feel another body against his and suddenly, Dean’s chin was grasped in a hand and turned so that Jimmy could kiss and lick his way inside their boyfriend’s mouth.

Since Dean’s lips were now otherwise occupied, Cas decided to spend some time sucking marks into the skin of the crook of his neck, making Dean squirm underneath them, but as soon as Jimmy granted access to the blonde’s mouth again, Cas crushed their mouths together in a filthy slide of tongues and clashing teeth, his nose poking into Dean’s cheek, while Jimmy kissed and licked across his chest, toying with a nipple and bringing Dean to moan beautifully for them.

A few seconds later, they stepped back from Dean to let him take in some air and calm down again, watching his chest rise and fall in heavy breaths. His parted lips were kiss-swollen and glistening with saliva, his face flushed and hair a mess. This look suited him specifically well and Cas had to refrain from leaning in and starting this all over again, but this was already crossing the line of taking it slow, so it would have to do for now.

When Dean calmed down again, the three of them went back into the bathroom to brush their teeth in somewhat tense silence – but a good kind of tense _. Sexual tension_. Afterward, the twins left the room to get into bed and let Dean take on some clothes without having hungry eyes watching every move that he made and waited for Dean to join them.

Not long after they settled in, the blonde strode out of the bathroom and turned off the light, crawling into the middle of the bed where Cas and Jimmy left enough space for him. It wasn’t as cramped as it had been in Jimmy’s bed so they settled in without issue, Dean turning onto his right side so that Cas could spoon him from behind, wrapping an arm around him as he was slowly getting used to now, and Jimmy nuzzled his face into the crook of Dean’s neck, his arm resting around his middle as well. It was oddly intimate despite the fact that they had no intentions to be just that – laying together in the darkness simply had that power.

And Castiel enjoyed everything about this. Being this close to Dean, holding him in his arms, breathing in his scent. He memorized everything about this moment, held it dear and close to his heart while his thoughts trailed off to the conversation they’d had with Sam. Without wanting to, Cas wondered if Dean would ever tell them about what happened in his past and then he found himself going through various scenarios about what could’ve happened.

He was glad when Jimmy interrupted his thoughts by asking softly, “Have you two talked about the BDSM situation? Except allowing Dean to continue seeing Michael?” – probably letting the first thing in his mind fall from his lips, his words slightly muffled as he spoke them against Dean’s skin.

Thinking about it, Cas said, “I want to be your Dom in the future, Dean. And maybe we could even involve Jimmy in it, if it's something we decide we want. But I don't want us to rush into anything. There's no pressure.” He paused, his hand curling more tightly around Dean’s ribs, holing him possessively. “You're already now so much more than we could have ever hoped for. Whatever we decide to make out of this relationship, we’ll go slow about it.”

It took a while for them to receive an answer, but once they did as Dean sighed a contented, “Yeah, okay,” Castiel could settle in completely and closed his eyes with a small smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mention of past abuse and depression


	7. January

Saying goodbye to Dean, even if only for a foreseeable time, was harder than any of them could’ve accounted for and it took them about an hour to finally be able to stop kissing Dean and let him get into his entitled _Baby_ to take his seat behind the wheel. Right before the black muscle car shifted into gear and drove out of the parking space with its loud and remarkable purr that they had come to know over this short time, Jimmy and Cas received two honks in quick succession and a wink from their boyfriend. And then, they merely watched as the Impala carried this precious man away from where they stood and put mile after mile between them.

After the blonde had packed his things and bid farewell to his family, Sam and Jess had been so nice to stay upstairs, deciding they didn’t need to watch Dean drive away and allow the three of them some space while simultaneously giving Jimmy and Castiel a chance to say goodbye properly. Considering the passionate kisses they shared with Dean and how long that went on, it probably had been a good idea.

It was weird, though, walking to separate homes and being alone there once again. Castiel had already been so used to spending his day with Dean and his twin and he felt quite lonely in his apartment.

But Jimmy and he had made plans to visit Dean on his birthday together and maybe even stay for a while, if their jobs allowed them to, and Castiel just kept clinging to the idea of having Dean around in less than a month again. The two of them had decided to surprise their boyfriend, so Dean didn’t know that flights had already been booked and since Jimmy and he had always been good at keeping secrets between them, Dean didn’t even have the slightest idea that they were hiding something from him during their daily calls.

Even with work going on and their lives back to normal, they managed to have video calls at least three times a week after they had dinner, sometimes Jimmy would come over to Cas or the other way around and it was always a pleasure to see Dean and hear his voice, no matter if it was through the internet.

They spent hours and hours asking Dean about himself, about his likes and dislikes, more childhood stories. He even told them about their alcoholic father a bit before he changed the topic, usually by asking them about their day or merely questions about anything to get to know them as well, and they soon learned that he was a brilliant listener. Jimmy and Cas found themselves feeling closer and closer to Dean with each call and he never ceased to astound the two with his knowledge or delight them with stories and experiences. He was such an amazing person and Cas knew that they had made the right decision to give Dean some space because the man seemed to be more comfortable around them and telling them more intimate things about himself. He still avoided talking about his past, though, but Castiel was sure that he’d eventually tell them – when he thought time was right.

Until then, they learned about his hard time finding real friends at school and feeling lonely most of the time. While he wasn’t infamous at his high school, there had been a lot of shallow people who used him to get their way, and most of the time, he either didn’t notice or didn’t care, saying that he, perhaps, had been a bit shallow back then himself. He also told them about the fights he used to get involved in, that there had been a phase where he even smoked a lot until his father – “on his rare days spent at home, watching some crappy soap-opera while half-drunk” – caught him with a pack of shitty Marlboro that he had stolen from a gas-n-sip, and punched the crap out of him for owning them, as Dean said, which led him to never smoke again. It shocked Cas to hear that their father had been this violent and it wasn’t easy to listen to stories about him but he took every information about Dean’s life that he could get.

Ever since Sam had told them about Dean’s depression, Castiel had been extra careful to listen to everything Dean said, to pay attention to little details or even things the blonde found amusing although it wasn’t. This could all be useful information to understand what happened and how it came to it. Breakdowns like the one Dean had experienced didn't just happen because someone had one bad day, or a bad week even. Something so big and dramatic wasn’t the result of one incident, most of the time. Certain things, however small they might have seemed, often mount together until the person affected either snaps or breaks, and it’s especially hard to heal again if the person had endured living like this for years, and thus sees no way to change or escape it.

So, yes, if listening closely would help Cas to better understand and help Dean, then he’d do it. And that was what scared him about Dean’s father – the man seemed to have played a main part in it and he was furious that a parent would even treat their own children like this. Jimmy felt the same way about John and sometimes, Castiel could even see the relief on his twin’s face whenever Dean decided he’d talked enough about his old man and changed the subject.

But they also learned that Dean loved trying new recipes and experimenting with food, feeling most at home in either his kitchen, bed, or Baby, though he always preferred the same classic rock to keep him entertained while driving or cooking. He loved movies, TV-shows – especially the one with Dr. Sexy – sometimes even a good Vonnegut, and sex, of course. The two of them learned so freaking much about Dean that, after two and a half weeks, they didn’t even think there was more to know.

To calm Cas’ worries, Dean always told them about what Michael did during their recent scene that the blonde attended once a week, and Castiel was relieved to hear that the Dom hadn’t tried anything with Dean or ignored his request to stop having sex together – which didn’t automatically mean no orgasms.

Jimmy still felt uneasy about this arrangement with Michael and Castiel would too, if he didn’t understand why it was necessary for Dean. But since he did, he just had to suck it up and swallow down his jealousy and possessiveness in favor of allowing their boyfriend what he needed.

And so they managed to pull through three weeks away from Dean without minutes seeming to drag by and time to stay still, suddenly finding themselves packing their bags and meeting at the airport to visit their boyfriend for his birthday.

Nervous. But a good kind of nervousness – more like excited nervous – that was how Cas felt as they grabbed their bags off the baggage carousel before walking out of Kansas City airport to call a cab. Since Jimmy was currently talking to Sam on the phone to get the exact location of Dean’s apartment, which took a little more coaxing and convincing than they thought it would, – Dean once used the term ‘overprotective, fussy she-bear’ to describe his brother – Castiel had to take care of getting them a ride to Dean’s place – if they even managed to get Sam to give it to them before sunset.

The day before, Dean had told them he’d do some grocery shopping after he woke up and when Cas checked the time and saw that it was already 8:37 am, he hurried calling a cab and sighed his relief when a nice-looking taxi driver helped Jimmy put his suitcase into the trunk since he was still talking to Sam, who he seemed to have almost convinced by now. Placing his bag on top of his brother’s baggage, Cas gave a polite “thanks” to the driver and took the right spot on the backseat bench, watching as Jimmy sat down next to him with a content smile while scribbling down an address on a yellow sticky note that he stuck to his thigh to use it as a pad.

“Okay, got it. And thanks again, Sam. We’ll remind him to give you a call tonight,” Jimmy said, handing the address to the driver who took it with a smile and started driving immediately, to Cas’ relief. “Yeah, bye.”

“What did you have to say to convince him?”

Grinning, Jimmy answered, “Only that we promise not to have sex or do other obscenities with Dean.”

Castiel frowned, giving his twin a critical look, asking, “Are you serious?”

“No! Gosh, it was a joke. You know he avoids that topic and that Dean would never let him get through with something like that,” he assured, patting Cas’ shoulder with a light chuckle. “I promised him that we tell Dean to call him tonight and guaranteed that we were visiting to surprise him and not to kidnap and sell his brother. Though, I think I shouldn’t have said that, it just made him more suspicious.”

Laughing, Cas shook his head at Jimmy in amusement and said, “Thanks, for doing the talking.”

“Guess that’s the first time I ever heard you say that.”

“Save it, because if you keep that lopsided smirk up, it’ll be the last time,” he warned, pointing a finger at him before looking out of the window to watch the road. It was a busy Saturday morning and Cas wondered if their boyfriend had planned to go out with his friend Benny tonight. Then his mind traveled to thoughts of how Dean would react to their visit and that excited nervousness was back again, making Castiel’s pulse quicken.

Suddenly, there was a hand on his knee, stopping his leg from tapping annoyingly, and Jimmy asked, “Are you nervous?”

Turning his head to look at his twin, Cas admitted, “Yes.”

“Why? It’s Dean.”

“What if he isn’t going to be happy about us visiting without a notice?” Where did those worries even come from? Only two nights ago, Dean had confessed how much he missed them during their daily call, so there was absolutely no reason to act like this now. The worst thing that could happen was Dean not having enough space for them so that they would have to take a motel room close to him

Jimmy smiled sympathetically and squeezed his knee before withdrawing his hand and saying, “He’ll be happy about it, I know.”

_What if he’s too busy taking two guys into his home and being there for them?_

“‘kay, we’re here.”

Well, now Cas didn’t have any more time to worry about things that weren’t real because the car stopped and Jimmy was already paying their driver while Castiel took in his surroundings. Dean’s apartment wasn’t located in the most famous area of Lawrence, but it seemed alright.

The two of them stepped out of the car and opened the trunk to get their stuff, shutting it closed again and waving the driver goodbye, before they walked towards the entrance and searched for the name Winchester on the doorbell sign. When Jimmy was about to press the button, a resident opened the door and startled upon seeing them, and they merely smiled politely in greeting, waiting for the old lady to walk down the stairs so that they could enter.

Once they were inside, it took a few minutes to find Dean’s door and when they stood in front of it, Cas felt his heart going wild inside his chest to the point where he believed even Jimmy could hear its excited beating. Holding his breath, Cas placed his fist against the wood and knocked a few times, loudly.

It was silent on the other side for a long moment before they heard slight shuffling and the lock being undone. Then, the door swung open and in front of them stood a comfortably dressed and baffled Dean. Chuckling, Jimmy said, “Happy birthday, Dean,” and Cas watched as the blonde’s mouth opened even wider in surprise, his eyes tracking their faces as if calculating if this was real.

“Wha– how…? What are you doing here?”

Castiel smiled happily at Dean’s breathless stammering and let his bag drop next to him to close the space between them with a step and envelop his boyfriend in a long and tight hug, whispering, “Happy birthday,” into his ear.

When they parted again, Dean’s expression was still awe-struck and his gaze was intense as he mused, “You guys are unbelievable.” Then, he leaned in and kissed Castiel sweetly, moving his lips against Cas’ in a passionate and slow way that had his ears warming.

After that, Dean pecked Castiel’s cheek and turned to hug Jimmy, still in awe when he kissed him in the same way, slow and heartfelt. “You told us not to send presents but we sent us, I hope that’s alright,” Jimmy muttered against Dean’s lips and Cas watched as the blonde started grinning brightly while pecking his lips before stepping back and looking at them both.

His eyes took in their baggage for a moment and when Dean met their gazes again, his expression was excited and he asked, “How long are you gonna stay?”

“Two weeks, if you’d like,” Cas answered as he grabbed his bag, looking at their boyfriend.

Smiling softly, Dean nodded and stepped aside to let them in, saying, “I can’t believe you two did this for me…” He shook his head and closed the door behind Jimmy, turning around to face them. “If I’d known you were coming, I’d cleaned this place up. It’s a mess.”

Jimmy took in Dean’s apartment while taking off his jacket and Castiel decided to remove his coat as well. “Don’t worry about that, Dean. You know how it looked at my place when you first visited.”

“If this is too unannounced and you can’t take us in, it’s okay, Dean. We can just look for a motel or something,” Cas assured, not wanting to overwhelm Dean with their visit.

“What? No!” Dean said, taking Cas’ bag and giving them a sincere smile, “You can stay here, it’s no problem. I don’t have the biggest place and it’s gonna be a little cramped in bed, but that’s just fine.” He started walking into the room behind the couch and led the twins into his bedroom, where he placed down Castiel’s bag and offered Jimmy to deposit his suitcase.

They lingered in the room for a moment and Cas took in all the small details. Where his living space had been simple and compact, furnished with a brown and old leather couch, a glass coffee table, and a TV surrounded by shelves filled with DVDs and even a few books on the wall in front of it, his bedroom was more personalized. There were pictures on his nightstand, old posters on the wall – a Star Wars poster, one of an old classic rock band – and even a few candles on the surface of his dresser. His bed seemed to be king-sized and the closet was half-closed, some shirts and jeans peeking out through the slit.

“It’s nothing fancy, but it does,” Dean shrugged and stuffed his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, turning around and walking out of the room.

“I like it because your place tells me that you live in it.”

“Thanks, I guess,” the blonde smiled and went into the kitchen. “You guys want something to drink?”

Following behind, Jimmy and Cas gave an affirmative nod and watched the blonde open the fridge to take out two water bottles, which he offered to them. “You can have a glass if you want to.”

“It’s fine,” Cas assured, taking a few sips of cold and refreshing water. When he put the cap back on and placed it on the counter, he couldn’t help but notice how tired Dean looked. There were dark circles underneath his vibrant eyes that only now caught Castiel’s attention and his posture was somewhat stiff and exhausted. Trying to hide his concern, Cas asked, “Have you been out already?”

Leaning back against the counter, Dean shook his head slightly. “Nah, I was going to but I kinda didn’t find it in me to change clothes and be around other people yet.”

Cas’ eyebrows drew together in a frown and he stepped into Dean’s personal space to place a hand on his chest, meeting his eyes and asking, “Are you sure our visit is okay?”

Giving them a small and honest smile, Dean said, “Yeah, more than. It’s the best gift anyone could’ve given me.”

Jimmy closed the space between them as well and wrapped his arms around Dean’s middle, locking his eyes on green ones, “We’ll go grocery shopping later. Together. If it’s alright?”

Nodding shyly, Dean leaned into the embrace and Cas pressed his side against Dean’s, wrapping an arm around his waist, his fingers curling around his ribs possessively. Seeking even more closeness, he rested his forehead against his boyfriend’s temple and listened to him sigh in relief, closing his eyes and humming, “Yeah, ‘s fine.”

For a long and beautiful moment, they merely stood like that, holding each other tight and reveling in their closeness and this soft intimacy they shared. Castiel enjoyed having Dean in his arms again and he brushed his lips against the blonde’s cheek in a featherlight touch, his heart beating in a steady and calm rhythm. How Dean managed to have this calming effect on him? He’d never know. But he would hold it dear and treasure it for as long as he could.

“Why don’t we sit down on the couch?” Jimmy asked softly after a while and at Dean’s agreeing nod, they walked towards the sofa and placed down on it, Dean in the middle, half-sitting on Jimmy’s lap and half-sprawled across Castiel’s chest with his upper body. His left hand rested on Cas’ breast, the other clutched his shoulder, and his face pressed into his chest, hair tickling Castiel’s chin. Jimmy had his left arm wrapped around Dean’s waist, the other was stroking his back gently, his body close to his boyfriend’s and his head resting on the back of Dean’s neck with his chin propped up on his shoulder while Cas circled the wrist of the hand resting on his breast with his right one, his other arm placed at Dean’s side, its hand resting on his lower back, fingers stroking the skin between the waistband of his pants and the fabric of his shirt which had risen a bit to reveal pale skin.

“I missed this,” Dean sighed happily and Cas opened his eyes to gaze at his content smile. They both whispered a responding “me too,” and Castiel almost forgot about his worries, if it hadn’t been for his greedy eyes taking in the blonde’s body and catching sight of two already healed laceration marks on the skin where his fingers were stroking Dean’s lower back. At the sight of physical pain that had been inflicted on their boyfriend, Cas felt anger bubbling up inside him and he knew it was Michael’s doing. Right then, he wanted to spit in the man’s face before punching his face bloody and whipping him just as unskilled as he did Dean. Maybe that was what had Dean down today.

Castiel knew how much Dean hated Michael using toys that he never learned to professionally use on his Subs because that was when the Dom ended up hurting him, just like he did with his fists, and Cas couldn’t believe that Dean would keep something like that from them, especially since they’ve had a video call last night where he told them about their meeting and obviously lied to them.

But it was Dean’s birthday and, if anything, they came here to cheer him up and enjoy being together, not to corner Dean and ask him questions about a topic that had seemingly been at the back of his mind for a while now. So, Castiel pushed past the worries and anger and buried it for later, closing his eyes and concentrating on Dean only.

Dean seemed to have another plan, though, because he suddenly shifted just the slightest, catching Castiel’s attention, and when Cas looked down at his handsome face again, his summer green eyes were open to him, steady but also a little afraid; longing even. His lips were slightly parted and his expression one of regret. Cas was shocked to find shame in his eyes right before the blonde averted them and mumbled, “I told him to stop.”

Only then did he realize that his finger was tracing a laceration on Dean’s back, following the feel of slightly raised skin. He immediately stopped and withdrew his hand, placing it on Dean’s hip while cursing himself internally. Swallowing thickly, Cas asked, “Michael?”

Nodding faintly, Dean met his eyes again and whispered, “Yeah. He did it before once and I told him that I never wanted to try whips or canes with him again and that he should stick to the basics.” Behind them, Jimmy shifted into a more upright position to be able to look at Cas and Dean, following their conversation intently as their boyfriend said, “It was two weeks ago.”

Cas was afraid to ask but he did anyway, “Did you use your safeword?”

Turning his eyes onto the table in front of them, Dean confessed, “No.” His voice was small and Jimmy frowned worriedly at the answer, checking if that was a bad thing by looking at Castiel, who closed his eyes in an attempt to keep his emotions at bay.

When he spoke again, he barely kept his voice from shaking and showing his disappointment. “Why not?”

Dean met Cas’ eyes with glistening ones and it hurt to see him so small. “I wanted to please. I thought… I thought I deserved it, somehow. And I wanted to be good for once, to just fucking please,” his voice almost broke at the end and Castiel’s heart constricted at hearing it

Jimmy stroked Dean’s back soothingly, pressing a kiss into the side of his face and asking, “Why’d you think you deserve it?” And Cas was so freaking thankful that he asked that question for him because he thought, right then, he wouldn’t have been able to.

The only answer they received, though, was a shrug. “I’m so sorry I lied to you both. I just… I didn’t want you to worry. It isn’t even as bad as it seems. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry I disappointed you, Cas. I’ll do better. I swear. Please, don’t hate me…”

Hearing Dean’s voice waver at the end had tears bursting into his eyes and he tried hard to blink them back, burying his nose in Dean’s hair and breathing in his soothing scent. “I’m not disappointed, Dean. I’m just sad that you care more about pleasing an unworthy Dom than you do about your own well-being. And I don’t hate you. I never could. It’s how you work, Dean, and I’m sorry that he uses it against you for his own advantage. I should’ve known that letting you go back to him wasn’t a good idea.”

“He tries,” Dean whispered, “Michael tries, he told me. It was a mistake and when he saw that I was bleeding, he stopped. I swear. He was truly sorry about hurting me but I didn’t even feel it. So it wasn’t his fault. It was mine. He’s always sorry afterward.”

_And so are abusers in a relationship with domestic violence – always sorry at the end. But do they stop anyway? No._

Ignoring the renewed feeling of anger threatening to overwhelm him, Cas took a calming breath and said, “That’s no excuse, Dean. You know that. If he hurt you the first time, how could he do it again if he was truly, _genuinely_ sorry? It’s not your fault. Please stop saying that.”

Nodding, Dean averted his eyes again, shame written all over his face, and Cas tried to make it go away by scattering soft kisses across his forehead. Jimmy tried as well, assuring, “We understand why you lied to us, Dean. Just from now on, it’s okay to tell us everything.” The blonde nodded once more, closing his eyes and sighing quietly when Jimmy pressed his lips against his nape, mumbling, “But are okay now? I mean, it doesn’t still hurt, does it?”

“No, I’m fine,” Dean confirmed, the three of them falling into silence again after that.

Castiel was still mad at Michael but he was able to let it go for now to concentrate on Dean and their day together. _Or weeks._

After a while, he asked, “How would like it if we start to get ready for shopping in a few minutes and enjoy you showing us your town some more?”

Lifting his head with a cheeky smile gracing his lips, Dean whispered, “Very much,” before giving him a kiss to the mouth and standing up, kissing Jimmy as well and straightening in front of them. He tugged at his sweats, musing, “Better change these…” and managed to lift the mood to a celebratory one once more, turning around and walking into the bedroom to leave his two stunned boyfriends behind, chuckling.

The minute Dean came back out of the room, clad in dark jeans, a dark red shirt, boots, and his leather jacket, the three of them made their way around town, letting Dean show them where he usually worked and which bar he liked to visit once in a while just to enjoy the music and food. He showed them where they could eat the most delicious pies and burgers in town, where he usually went for groceries, and even which way they would have to go if they wanted to reach the club Dean visited for his scenes. He said it was a little out of town and that they’d have to drive and so Jimmy and Cas decided that it wouldn’t be necessary to see just now.

After the tour, they went into the store to buy food and other stuff they might be needing, like some toiletries for Jimmy and Cas since they didn’t bring any. Dean joked and laughed a lot while they were walking down aisle after aisle and Cas was delighted to be here and see the man so free and happy – like having them here made him feel untroubled in a way he never did before. If they always had such an effect on Dean, then Jimmy and Cas never wanted to leave again.

Even the way people looked at them – either curiously or suspiciously – couldn’t quell the man’s excitement, and it was truly heartwarming.

The blonde told them that he hadn’t planned anything for tonight and so they decided to make it a date night with dinner and a movie. When they asked if Dean would like to eat self-made burgers, his smile was so bright and beautiful, that Cas had a hard time breathing. Of course, they agreed to go with it and have fries as a side. Together, they bought all the ingredients and went back home with a little more than they had anticipated and somehow managed to get eight bags full of stuff back home and fit it in the fridge and freezer.

Jimmy and Cas put their toiletries in the bathroom and Castiel was thrilled to see his and his brother’s toothbrushes in the same glass as Dean’s, even if it was silly. But it meant a lot to him and was a symbol for how far their relationship had already come, so sue him.

The day progressed slowly and throughout it, the three of them cleaned up Dean’s place, reorganized the bed so that it would fit them all, and collected a few more pillows for it. When it was almost time to start preparing dinner, Dean showed them the kitchen and explained where everything went so that they could settle in easier without having to ask where to find what. And by the time they sat down on the table and said cheers for Dean’s birthday and their date, Castiel and Jimmy already felt quite at home at Dean’s place, however small it might have been.

The burgers were amazing and the twins slowly enjoyed their food, watching Dean demolish the fries and inhale the burger like a starving man, even as he continued to show his appreciation in a very vocal manner, which made them chuckle and grin from ear to ear.

Afterward, they snuggled down on the couch together and watched a movie called ‘Double Jeopardy’, which, Cas had to admit, was pretty captivating. And since they weren’t tiered once it ended, they played the next one on the list called ‘Glass House’ during which they fell asleep on the couch like “old married people”, as Dean had put it during the night when they went into bed to resume sleeping.

They woke up with tangled limbs and cuddled up together, Dean as always in the middle, and Cas never felt so ready to face a day.

And just like that, they spent the first five days of their two weeks together; waking up to Dean getting ready for work in the morning and enjoying the breakfast the blonde prepared for them, waiting for him to come back to surprise Dean with lunch and doing whatever they pleased the rest of the day.

Jimmy and Cas kept in the back of their minds that they were still taking it slow, so there had been no showering together yet, or anything that crossed the line of heavily making out on the couch or in bed to dry humping. Every time one of them stopped before it could’ve come to more, Dean frowned in frustration and pouted in an attempt to convince them to go on. But they could be as stubborn as Dean, so the blonde hadn’t managed to persuade them.

_Yet…_

It was Friday and Dean had been happy to come home to his two absolutely amazing boyfriends, waiting there with lunch like any other day before, and he just couldn’t believe his luck.

Right now, he was turning off the steaming water and running a hand through his dripping hair, stepping out of the shower and rubbing his body dry with a towel. When he looked at his reflection after wiping away the steam from the mirror, Dean checked on his healed marks and sighed in relief when he saw that they were fading and therefore wouldn’t be permanent ones. He had been so afraid to wear them for the rest of his life, to always be reminded of what a failure he was.

With merely the towel wrapped around his waist, Dean left the room and walked past his boyfriends on light feet, receiving a whistle from Jimmy and a fond smile from Cas, which wasn’t as innocent as it seemed once he saw those hungry eyes that belonged to the face. Smirking, he put some extra swift into his steps and made sure to capture their gazes with his swinging hips because he was _t_ _hat_ needy for their attention.

When he entered the bedroom, he pulled out his favorite pair of sweats and a white tee, stopping in front of his dresser and opening the top drawer to pick what to wear underneath. He was about to grab a pair of cotton briefs when his eyes caught sight of something purple and he pulled on it. Dean had totally forgotten that he bought them once because the only pair he ever wore were the blue ones, which he began to search for as the thought hit him, uttering a triumphant “ha!” as his fingers brushed over the well-known soft and most wonderful fabric his genitals were ever covered with.

Holding them in his hands, Dean admired the piece of clothing. This pair was his favorite one because he liked the color so much. It wasn’t a bright blue, not pastel or baby. It was a Prussian shade and they made his skin seem tanner than bright colors did. But it wasn’t the only reason why he liked them the most, the color also wasn’t as striking as others and so, when he wore them underneath his regular clothes, he didn’t feel like the color could shine through all layers and practically scream that he was wearing them. Dean felt good in them and that was what wearing them was all about.

So he made up his mind and unwrapped the towel to put them on, making sure everything sat right, and grabbed his sweats, pulling them up his legs and placing them low on his hips, but not too low to give him away and ruin the fun. Dean wanted to finally have some sexy time with his boyfriends now that they weren’t over a thousand miles away, and this was his last attempt at seducing them before he would stop trying to do it subtly and just straight out say that he wanted to be fucked. _Geez._

Michael didn’t even turn him on anymore and merely imagining one of the twins behind him while fingering himself didn’t do half as good a job as the real deal did. Call him desperate, but he had never gone so long without sex and it started to make him go crazy.

Putting on his shirt, Dean made sure that he wasn’t blushing and took hold of the towel to bring it back to the bathroom. When he came back out, Jimmy and Cas were still watching his every move and Dean gave them an overly sweet smile, asking, “What are ya doing?”

“Nothing too fun,” Jimmy answered, turning off the TV to gaze at Dean. “You?”

He shrugged once, watching as the twins looked at each other suspiciously before walking back into his bedroom and moving to close the drawer. Standing in front of it with his hands already giving it a slight push, Dean suddenly felt hot breath against his neck at the same time as a big and strong pair of hands grabbed his ass, each cheek in one palm, squeezing. He keened at the touch, leaning back against whoever it was and reveling in the feel of soft lips against his skin.

Dean fucking loved having his ass grabbed.

“Hmm,” Cas hummed, resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder to stare into the drawer. “Is this what I think it is?”

“What?”

“The purple one.”

Nodding, Dean smiled sheepishly and pressed back closer against Castiel’s body and while the raven-haired hummed his appreciation once more, trailing wet kisses down the column of his neck, Dean could hear Jimmy enter the room and come to a stop at his left side, resting his hand on Dean’s hip. He must have looked into the drawer, too, because the next thing to happen was Jimmy reaching into it and pulling out the purple panties to dangle them along his fingers, humming as well. Dean was starting to really love this noise and when Jimmy pressed his front against Dean’s side, he could feel a certain stiffness poking slightly into the jut of his hip and he groaned softly, his eyes fluttering shut as he copied Cas’ ministrations and kissed along his neck as well.

Speaking against his skin, Jimmy asked, “You wear those?”

He let go of a long breath before admitting, “They make me feel sexy… once in a while, I wear them under my jeans when I feel like it.”

“As a confidence boost?” Jimmy asked.

“Sometimes,” Dean breathed out, his skin breaking out into goosebumps as Castiel trailed his fingers down the inside of his arm teasingly, stopping when he reached the level of the waistband of his pants. “I've worn them for a few Doms, too.”

Tracing the line of his sweats with one finger where his panties sat right underneath, Cas asked, “Are you wearing a pair right now, Dean?” And when he met Castiel’s gaze, his eyes were dilated and hungry.

As he licked his lips, Dean's eyes tracked the movement and all he could do was nod. Almost growling, Cas demanded, “Show them to us, Dean.”

_Who was Dean to say no to that?_

At once, Jimmy let go of him and stepped aside, and Castiel withdrew from him, leaning back against the dresser and closing the open drawer with the movement. Standing next to each other, one turning curious, wide eyes on him, the other dark and lustrous ones, both the same shade of blue, Dean let out a shaky breath and slid his hands past the waistband, pulling down his sweats just so that the Prussian color and satiny fabric peeked out.

In a low and gravelly voice, Cas said, “Don’t play games, Dean Winchester.”

So, with a playful smirk, Dean jimmied out of his sweats while wiggling his hips and presented his satin clad crotch to his boyfriends. Next thing he knew, there was a low growl and Dean was on his back, laying on the bed with Jimmy gripping his hips and eyes roaming his body like he was some piece of meat. Then, he grabbed the hem of Dean’s shirt and almost yanked it off of him, baring his skin for his hungry gaze and running his hands all over his body. Smiling, Dean closed his eyes and parted his lips in a long exhale. “Fuck, Dean, do you have any idea how hot you look in them? I want myself all over you, I want to take you and show you who you belong to.”

“Do it,” Dean moaned, spreading his legs invitingly and meeting Cas’ gaze, who stood next to them, watching with glazed eyes as Jimmy pulled the panties aside to see Dean’s clean-shaven crotch. Castiel’s lips were parted and he breathed heavily but otherwise, he was still and concentrated on what was happening in front of him. “Take me. No condoms, please, I’m clean. Look into the- _uhhh_ …” he groaned as Jimmy pulled aside the panties even more, freeing his hardening cock, “… first drawer.”

Breathing heavily, Jimmy confirmed, “We’re clean, too, just had us checked before we came here.” And that was damn nice information, so Dean smiled happily, watching as the blue-eyed took his cock in his tender grasp, making Dean groan at the hot contact that was not enough, at all.

For a while, Jimmy seemed to only want to touch and feel Dean before kissing the tender flesh at the base of it where the curve of his thigh met his groin, and Dean moaned unabashedly, throwing his head back into the mattress and seeing out of his peripheral vision as Castiel came even closer to them, still watching intently. “Do you want this, Dean?”

“Mhhhmm,” he moaned, trying to nod enthusiastically.

Sliding one hand up and down Dean’s inner thigh, Jimmy kissed the shaft of his cock, mumbling “Want me?”

“Yeahhh…”

There was a wet kiss to the tip of his now fully erect penis and Dean arched his back into the contact. “Say it.”

“I want you, both. Please! Fuck me.”

Chuckling, Jimmy withdrew his lips from Dean and he barely kept himself from whining at the loss, but then those lips trailed a line of kisses up his pubic to his bellybutton, pressing a kiss into it. “Well, for now, you’ll have to do with only me while Cas watches. Is that okay for you?”

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, meeting Cas’ eyes for confirmation that this was also okay with him before looking at Jimmy after having gotten a nod from Castiel. “Yes, please.”

Pressing one last kiss into his skin, Jimmy gave him a small smile and stepped back to walk towards the nightstand, opening its drawer and retrieving a bottle of lube, at which Dean asked, breathless, “You been snooping ‘round my place?”

“I thought I’d find it there,” Jimmy answered, coming to stand at the foot of the bed and taking the pillow Cas handed to him with a thankful nod. “Alright, lift your hips, Dean.”

Doing what he was told, Dean planted his feet on the mattress and lifted his hips enough for Jimmy to place the pillow underneath to have better access to his entrance. Fortunately, Dean had taken a lot of extra time in the shower today, so he was perfectly prepared for this.

While Jimmy coated his fingers in the lubricant, Dean turned his head to look at Cas and tapped the empty space next to him on the bed, wanting him to join them. After only a short moment, Castiel smiled fondly and carefully crawled onto the bed, but instead of placing down next to Dean, he sat down behind him, leaning his back against the headboard and crossing his legs in front of him before gently grasping Dean’s head and placing it comfortably in his lap. “Is this okay?” His voice was a deliciously low rumble, husky and rich, and Dean had a hard time concentrating on the question. Once it registered, he nodded and reached up a hand to place it on his knee at the same time as Jimmy started circling his rim with one generously lubed finger.

At the first contact with his pucker, Dean closed his eyes and sighed softly, feeling as Cas rested a hand on top of his and Jimmy eased a digit inside to push it in and out a few times, moving and tapping it against his hot walls before starting to stretch him open. A second finger joined the first soon after, and at the beginning, it was a bit tight but a few seconds and a relaxing breath later, Jimmy was able to move them smoothly without any resistance. He started to scissor his fingers, spreading them inside Dean and moving them around to be able to add a third one, fucking them in and out of Dean until he was prepped enough and asking Jimmy to move on. 

Lifting his head to look at his boyfriend, Dean watched him take his position at the end of the bed, gripping Dean’s thighs to carefully pull him against himself, sliding him down on the mattress, so his ass reached his crotch. While he adjusted the pillow underneath Dean, Cas shifted behind him so that his head could still rest comfortably in his lap but he planted his feet next to Dean to angle his legs, giving Dean something to hold on to as Jimmy lined himself up with his rim and pressed the blunt head of his cock against his prepped hole, waiting for him to give a sign to go on. 

Nodding once, Dean wrapped his legs around Jimmy’s waist, placed his hands on Castiel’s knees, and gripped tightly as Jimmy pushed forward into his heat, groaning in unison as inch by inch was buried inside Dean. Only soft, Cas and Jimmy were already a freaking mouthful, but all hard and aroused like that, they were _huge_ and Dean enjoyed feeling Jimmy’s hot and pulsing flesh inside him, clenching down around him to take in every inch and making the man groan loudly. He loved this; the moment the person taking him kept holding still for a moment after bottoming out as if trying not to shoot their load already. It gave Dean the sense of having great power over them at that moment and he felt so wanted and good, waiting for the person to snap their hips back and thrust back inside in desperate need to bring them over the edge.

When Jimmy pulled back out, it was with a moan, and then Dean could only _feel_ while taking it all in, throwing his head back into Cas’ lap to groan his pleasure. Each snap of Jimmy’s hips had his head pumping into Castiel, jarring him with every thrust as he chased his orgasm. His rhythm wasn’t slow, but it also wasn’t so fast that all Dean could feel was hit after hit. No, Jimmy knew what felt good, and sometimes, he’d pull out almost all the way and circle his hips before rolling them into Dean, keeping him guessing and stimulated. He also brushed over his prostate every few thrusts and it had Dean leaking pre-cum after a while, moaning lowly and uttering obscenities into the room.

Sometime during all of this, Cas had rested his hands on Dean’s chest, and right when he felt like he was getting closer and closer to his release with each thrust, Castiel started playing with his nipples, rubbing them between two fingers before pinching them together and tugging at them, making Dean keen and arch his back off the mattress with a long groan, rolling the buds under his digits to massage the sting out of them.

The thing was, Dean's nipples had always been freaking sensitive, just like he’d always been hella ticklish during sex when he was in certain positions. And, yeah, he liked having them played with during sex; he usually even tweaked one while jerking off, but it also got tricky when he showered, normally avoiding not to touch them too much unless he wanted to spend some more time underneath the spray because his cock could be fucking persistent, or when he was currently being fucked and wanted to just keep going a little longer. But once Cas started to play with them, there was no chance Dean could hold back his orgasm as he almost tipped over the edge.

And while it crested, Jimmy thrusting in and out, taking Dean’s breath away, Cas' lips met his own softly, belying their passion with a gentle tenderness that struck Dean to the core and _this_ in addition to all the other ways he was being stimulated, was enough to tip him over the edge after only a few minutes and his release swept over him like a tidal wave, leaving Dean gasping for air as Cas withdrew his lips, quaking as Jimmy followed with a moan. Dean had half a mind to feel the subsequent hot splash of come coating his insides while trying to keep his eyes open as Jimmy rolled out the waves of orgasm until there was nothing left to come, falling against Dean ravenously, resting his chest on Dean’s cum-coated one.

Once their breathing calmed down again and their chests weren’t heaving anymore, Cas leaned down to kiss Dean again, soft and loving. He stroked the side of Dean’s face, the other hand tracing down his arm. When they broke apart, Dean grinned up at Castiel with a fucked-out, lazy smirk and just enjoyed being so close to his boyfriends.

Castiel’s eyes were still glazed over with lust but he wasn’t hard. Since Dean’s head rested right above his member, pressing into Cas’ cock, he knew. And it was astounding; the control that this man had over his own body.

On the other end, Jimmy grasped Dean’s sides slightly, almost tickling him, and pressed his lips into the line between his ribs, just underneath his pectorals.

Wiggling his hips just slightly, Dean reminded with a lazy drawl, “You haven’t pulled out yet…” With a grin, he asked, “‘s this a thing you do?”

Cas chuckled at remembering their first time together and Jimmy merely frowned, lifting his upper body to look at where he was still connected to Dean. “I like it… should I pull out?”

Dean only managed a lazy shake of his head, saying, “Nah,” and closing his eyes with a content sigh. He shivered slightly when Castiel buried his hands in his hair and massaged his scalp. This was such a wonderful feeling, Dean could doze off to it, always. And he felt so fucking sated, it was fantastic.

“What do you mean anyway?”

“Your twin here… he stayed inside wayyy past where it’s normal, but it’s okay, ‘cause it feels nice. Plus, I keep you warm…” his words came slurred now as he felt himself slowly drifting in and out of sleep. “Everybody wins… So, lie back down.”

“Our chests are sticky,” Jimmy said, amused, his voice filled with laughter.

“Y’could lick it away…” Right now, Dean barely even knew what he was saying and he grinned to himself when he heard Cas and Jimmy chuckle at whatever shit he just said.

“You’re funny,” Jimmy mused, still laughing slightly. Dean could feel the movement through his whole body and he smiled happily, sleep winning over.

The last thing he remembered doing was mumbling something like “the funniest” before slumber took him in.

Dean was so unbelievably warm and perfect, and merely laying there, half on top of him with his soft cock still buried inside his scalding heat was enough to make Jimmy feel more sated and satisfied than he’d felt in so long. Sure, the first time they’ve had sex had been amazing and he would never forget how it made him feel, but now, feeling Dean without any barrier… it was Heaven.

His body was touch-warm and soft from sex and he practically radiated heat off of him. And Jimmy soaked it all in, letting it guide him into a blissful and calm state while pressing kisses into his boyfriend’s skin, listening to his soft breathing as the two of them let him doze for a while.

Smiling, Jimmy mumbled against Dean’s torso, “I love that he’s so sleepy after sex…”

“Yeah,” Cas agreed, his fingers massaging their boyfriend’s scalp, his eyes focused on Dean’s face smushed into his crotch. His lips were parted and he looked carefree and so freaking endearing, Jimmy felt his heart swell with love at the sight. “He’s truly special.”

“It’s something that I never had before.”

“What do you mean? Unprotected sex?”

Tracing his fingers along Dean’s ribs in a feather-light touch, Jimmy explained, “Of course, I’ve never gone without condoms before and it was awesome, but what I mean is that, with all the flings or one-night stands I had, I’ve never once shared affection with them afterward. You know, I was lucky if they stayed the night, but there had never been something so intimate as cuddling and laying together after sex. And now, we’re laying here with Dean and he’s so perfect and he shares warmth and affection with us. To be honest, now that I know how this feels, I never want to go back to the way it was before. I mean, we can freaking hold him in our arms while he sleeps and it makes me feel… I don’t know – loved? Trusted?”

When Jimmy lifted his head to look at his twin, Castiel nodded with a sympathetic smile on his lips and said, “Yes, I understand completely what you’re saying, Jimmy.” He was playing with a strand of dark, sandy blonde hair, gazing down at Dean with fond and admiring eyes. “That’s what I need, to be exact. As a Dom, I don’t need sex, it’s merely a nice bonus. What I need is for my Subs to need me. Sure, during a scene, they rely on me and trust me to do whatever we talked about beforehand to make them feel good, but the part of being a Dom that really satiates _my_ needs is when they’re either floating in subspace or in their euphoric state after a scene and I am there to care for them. Because that’s when they truly _need_ me. During that, they’re like Dean; they trust me to take care of them, to bring them back from their high, out of subspace, and back to reality. It’s when they’re most vulnerable. They give themselves over to me completely. And– and this trust, this responsibility I have, it’s what makes me feel needed and gives me the sense of having a calling in this life.”

Nodding slightly, Jimmy thought about what Castiel said and he had to admit that it made perfect sense. “I think I get it, Cas. Yeah, it’s like… I’ve heard of mothers needing babies. Almost like an addiction. And not because their newborns are so cute and I also don’t mean women who’re addicted to being pregnant. I mean ones who need them because they give them the feeling of being needed. Truly needed. Babies need their mothers, their warmth, love, and their milk for the baby’s nutrition needs. You know, and I’ve heard that they feel down and useless once they’re old enough to ‘survive’ without them. And I’m not comparing you to a mother but… you know? You need to be needed. So do they. I get it.”

With a small grin, Cas met his eyes and nodded once, saying, “Yeah, it’s like that. I feel like I do something important; like it means something to someone. And so I feel like the luckiest man to have found him. I can’t wait for aftercare with Dean, how he’ll be, and how long it will take for him to come back.”

As on cue, their boyfriend suddenly shifted underneath Jimmy, turning his head to bury his face in Cas’ thigh and wrapping his arms around Jimmy, mumbling, “‘m back…”

Chuckling, Castiel leaned down to kiss his temple and whispered, “Are you?”

“Mhmm,” Dean hummed, nodding lazily, before he slurred, “Jus’ don’t wanna open my eyes yet…”

“Are we that ugly?” Jimmy joked, chuckling slightly as Dean peeked up at him through a slit of one eye, grinning.

“Nah, you’re pretty okay.” Castiel and Jimmy burst into heartfelt laughter at that and because of the vibrations coming from them and going through Dean’s body as well, the blonde soon turned his face to grin up at them cheekily. “How long have I been out?” he asked once they calmed down again.

Shrugging slightly, Castiel said, “Not long. Ten minutes, perhaps. But not longer than that.”

“Oh, okay. Then you two haven’t had time to gossip about me while I was asleep…”

“What would we gossip about you?”

Drawing the corners of his mouth down in a ‘who knows’ gesture or a shrug, Dean said, “Dunno, about what kinda sex gods you must be that I wanna sleep afterward?”

With a soft voice, Cas asked, “Are you exhausted?” and met Dean’s eyes with his blue ones.

“Nah, I’m not ‘exhausted’ after sex or even a scene. I dunno, I just feel so content and warm, that I drift into that comfortable state and it’s hard to pull back out of it, you know?”

Frowning, Castiel wondered, “Like you’re in subspace?”

“It’s close. But not as intense and I don’t feel like floating after I come but… yeah, it comes close. And I think I trust you two enough to close my eyes and take in that feeling a little longer.” He smiled sheepishly at them and stroked his hand across Jimmy’s back where he still rested between Dean’s open legs.

Interrupting the conversation, Jimmy asked, “What’s subspace? You’ve talked about it before but I haven’t had the chance to ask.”

“It’s referred to a sensation after an intense play session, mostly experienced by Subs, which often occurs as a result of the release of endorphins – chemicals, that produce a natural high. Although, the down from such a heightened experience can be quite low and so it’s important that adequate arrangements are made for aftercare.”

Jimmy nodded his understanding and suddenly, he got even more why Cas felt a need to take care of them and why it made him feel important. And he understood why Dean was this ‘sleepy’ afterward.

“Right, and for me, it feels like I’m floating and my head’s all clear… like I’m allowed to let go,” Dean explained.

“But, just out of pure curiosity, does it have something to do with how hard you came or how long it took for you to reach orgasm?”

Shrugging, Dean said, “Not always, I guess. Sure, if a Dom decides to edge me for hours only to make me come so hard, I practically blackout, it can get pretty intense afterward. But bondage can have the same effect without even a promise for release…”

And okay, Jimmy had to admit that _that_ sounded freaking hot – seeing Dean all tied up…

“I know what you’re thinking, you dirty little man…” Dean teased, suddenly hooking his leg around Jimmy’s waist to flip them over as if he weighed nothing. It left Jimmy breathless and when Dean rocked his hips to remind him that they were still connected, he groaned, staring up at his boyfriend with wide, awe-struck eyes. “Just because I’m the sleepy one doesn’t mean I can’t be toppy,” Dean whispered into his ear as he bent down, clenching around him, and licked along the shell of his ear playfully. God, this man was so indescribably sexy and Jimmy let out a strangled moan at the feeling and this show of power.

After that, he straightened his back again and sat down flat on Jimmy’s crotch, a smug smile gracing his lips as he met Cas’ probably amused eyes, who asked, “Have you ever topped in a scene?”

“Nah, I like bottoming more, you know. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t turn this game around and imagine you, _Sir_ ,” Dean emphasized his meaning with a roll of his hips and let Jimmy know that he was meant, “all tied up and begging.”

Squeezing his eyes shut as a new wave of pleasure hit his system, Jimmy asked himself if he had said that thought out loud, but then he opened his eyes and locked them on Dean’s and he chuckled breathlessly, still more amazed by him than amused. “You’re something else…”

Grinning widely, Dean teased, “Aww, yeah? How so?”

“You’re so sexually uninhibited,” Jimmy admired, placing his hands on each of Dean’s hips, his thumbs stroking along the dips that led to his soft cock resting on Jimmy’s stomach, which was still a mess just like Dean’s. The blonde drew his eyebrows together and gave him a look that said ‘go on’, so he explained, “Since I know you’re a sexual submissive, I somehow always imagined you to be, I don’t know – more submissive with your partners. Or not your _partners_ but with a Dom like Cas around. Just not so open and playful, rather shy. I dunno…”

Chuckling slightly, Dean assured, “Believe me, most of the time during a session, I am. Especially with you two, I think I’d be a really good boy.” He gave them a smirk and a playful wink. “But no, seriously, you two make me wanna go down on my knees and be good for you. I don’t really wanna be bratty with you, I don’t feel the need to. I just… I want to give myself over to you and let you take charge and make me feel good because I know you will.”

Behind him, Castiel shifted slightly and asked, “You trust us this much?” At Dean’s answering nod, he continued, “I only want to make sure you’re okay with all this, so… how did you feel about my being here?”

“While Jimmy and I had sex?” Cas must have nodded because Dean shrugged and said, “Good, why?”

“It wasn’t weird for you?”

“No, it was nice, actually. Really nice. Having you two take care of me, make me feel so good, that was just amazing. Why, did you think it was weird?”

“Don’t worry, Dean, I didn’t. I was making sure you were okay with this. I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

“You really didn’t. Believe me, it was awesome. But was it really not weird for you? I mean, I see handsome twins, you see your brother have sex with me, that’s bound to get weird. You know Sam and me, he’d surely die if he saw us together and I’d want to have my eyes bleached if I ever saw him stick his dick into someone.”

They laughed slightly and Dean frowned down on them with a small smile tugging on his lips, so Cas chuckled, “It’s a good thing we’re not you and Sam. I don’t mind it, at all. During my time as a Dom, I’ve seen many people have sex, people that I wouldn’t have wanted to see naked in private, but this is something else. And I don’t mind seeing Jimmy have sex with you. I didn’t really concentrate on him, merely the way you reacted to his body, how he made you feel, your body’s responses. And I had the chance to truly watch your face with all my concentration while you orgasmed. It was breathtaking, Dean.”

Now, there was a deep blush creeping upon Dean’s face and Jimmy admired him for a while, until the blonde asked, “What about you?”

Meeting his eyes, Jimmy replied, shrugging, “I didn’t mind Cas being with us either. During sex, I was too concentrated on making you feel good, bringing myself closer to the edge, and touching you all over to really even pay attention to Cas.”

“It’s a good thing you’re twins, then. You can still picture yourselves with me,” Dean joked and they both chuckled.

“I guess…” Castiel mused, shifting behind Jimmy once more. “But just to make this clear, you’d be okay to continue having sex like this in the future?”

Worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, Dean gave an almost shy look towards them, and _that_ was exactly what Jimmy had thought Dean to be. It was endearing to see him go from confident and sexy to shy and still sexy. “Yeah. I’d love to.”

“And it would be okay if one touches you while the other has sex with you?”

“Yeah. That’d be nice.” His blush deepened and Jimmy watched, amazed, as Dean quirked one corner of his mouth with a suggestive grin developing. “I’d even want to go further than touching, you know. If I’m in a position where I cloud take care of you both, I could give head while the other and I have sex.”

And okay, Jimmy did _not_ see this coming and those words had an immediate effect on his body as his cock gave a twitch of interest inside Dean, making the blonde laugh slightly. “Yeah, you’d like that, huh?”

Now, he was the one blushing.

The mattress dipped behind him as Cas got to his knees before standing and stepping out of the bed to walk towards Dean and stop right behind him. When their boyfriend turned his head to look at Castiel, he brought up his hands and held Dean’s face in the tender cradle of his palms, breathing out, “Really?” Their gazes locked onto each other for a long while.

Smiling earnestly, Dean nodded and assured, “Yes… maybe it could be part of a scene, you know? In the future. I’d like that.”

A big, bright smile spread across Cas’ face and he placed a chaste kiss on Dean’s lips as he whispered, “You’re amazing, thank you.”

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Do you want to take me as well? I feel like you got left behind and I’m still good to go, if you wanna.”

“Oh, Dean,” Castiel’s smile turned into a fond one and he stroked Dean’s cheek, whispering, “I’m fine.”

“But–”

“As lovely as this offer sounds,” Cas cut in, his voice louder but still as warm, “I’m fine. And I wouldn’t want to use you like that, Dean. That’s something you don’t ever have to be worried about. Just because you have two boyfriends, doesn’t mean you always have to make sure that you give us the same treatment so no one gets left behind. Especially when it comes to sex. It’s no duty, Dean. It should never be.”

Nodding slightly, Dean breathed out an “Okay,” and closed his eyes to lean into the touch. “What’re we doing now?”

“You two should probably go shower,” Cas recommended, caressing Dean’s skin with his thumb before slowly withdrawing his hand and placing it on their boyfriend’s shoulder. “I’ll see what’s left of food that we could use for dinner. It will have to do until I go grocery shopping tomorrow morning.”

“Okay, but Cas,” Dean reached out his hand and placed it on Castiel’s, “You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” he assured, brushing his fingers along Dean’s as he retracted his hand and walked out of the room, leaving Jimmy and Dean alone in bed.

For a moment, they lingered like that, merely sitting there in silence and listening to Cas opening the fridge in the kitchen until Dean moved his hips just slightly to draw Jimmy’s focus on him with a small smile gracing his lips. “How about that shower?”

“You’ll have to stand up first if you want to go,” Jimmy teased, stroking Dean’s sides where his skin was warm and soft. But he couldn’t touch him for long because Dean shifted above him so that his knees were bracketing Jimmy’s hips before he carefully lifted his ass off of his crotch and broke their connection. Jimmy watched, enthralled, as his cock slowly slipped free along with a bit of his cum that was now dripping down Dean’s inner thigh and he groaned at the sight as his boyfriend got off the bed and stood at the end of it with his hands reached out towards him.

“Come on, hot guy, let’s get cleaned up.”

Dean smirked and Jimmy grabbed his hands to let himself be pulled off the mattress by him, getting to his feet right in front of him. “Will we even fit in there together?”

“Yeah, sure, if you don’t mind sharing body heat with me…” he grinned cheekily and took his hand to lead him out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, where they stepped into the shower and washed off cum and sweat together.

After that, they joined Cas in the kitchen and helped him prepare dinner. The three of them spent the rest of the day talking, eating the lasagna Castiel managed to find ingredients for, and watching a movie until they started falling asleep on the sofa and turned off the TV after deciding to go to bed.

When Jimmy woke up the next morning, it was to Castiel leaving the bed and taking on his clothes, whispering to Jimmy that he’d go do some grocery shopping and that he was going to be back before Dean would even be awake to notice he was gone. 

He was wrong though.

Because, as the spot at Dean’s left began to cool in Castiel’s absence, the blonde started to stir, and after a few minutes of trying to get back into that deep state of sleep, he seemed to give up and opened his eyes with a quiet groan. Jimmy stayed silent at his side and merely shifted his legs to decline more comfortably at Dean’s side, watching carefully as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes. The crinkling of the sheets must have caught Dean’s attention because he turned around on his side to stare at Jimmy with half-lidded eyes, giving him a dazzling grin even though he looked ready to fall asleep again. “Where’s Cas?” he groaned, stretching his legs and arms.

Smiling softly, Jimmy answered, “He went grocery shopping.” Slowly, he turned on his side as well and wrapped his arm around Dean’s chest to pull him into his body, leaning in to press their lips together in a sloppy kiss. In lieu of a verbal answer, the blonde hummed into his mouth and pressed forward to deepen the kiss, burying a hand in Jimmy’s dark, messy locks to keep his face against his own.

When they broke apart to breathe, Dean licked his lips, and Jimmy’s eyes automatically tracked the movement, as they were so close to his own. “I wanna surprise him…”

The statement came out of nowhere and Jimmy looked at Dean questioningly, his right hand caressing the skin of his lower back where it rested possessively. “What?”

“Cas – I want to surprise Cas with… _something_. He was so patient last night, I want to make him feel good, you know?”

“Just so I know that we’re on the same page,” he started, his hand still stroking Dean tenderly, “are we talking about sex?” His answer to the question was a hesitant nod and Dean biting his lip, so, with his thumb, Jimmy pulled back the pink flesh and slid his digit across to spread the saliva and make it glisten before taking it between his own lips and slightly tugging it away from Dean with a smile. When he could see his boyfriend struggle to keep from grinning, Jimmy let go of his bottom lip and kissed him once more, licking into his mouth with a barely contained smirk. Pulling apart, he teased, “Why so shy all the sudden?”

“‘m not shy,” Dean denied with a petulant frown. But he couldn’t hide his amusement for long, especially not when Jimmy raised his eyebrows in a suspicious expression, and he snorted before chuckling slightly.

Watching his hand stroke Dean’s side and the way it raised goosebumps on his skin, Jimmy suggested, “How about a scene?”

They met eyes again and for a moment, Jimmy couldn’t do anything but stare at those open bright green globes gazing back at him, watching their pupils dilate a fraction. “I should surprise him as a Sub?”

“Yeah, I think he’d love that. Since the moment he met you, Cas wanted to be your Dom, so why not give it to him?”

“That’s good, yeah. I can do that. I’d love to do that,” Dean seemed to talk to himself so Jimmy merely watched him with a soft smile. “Would you want to… you know, would you like to watch it?”

Locking his eyes on Dean’s, he admitted, “The more you talk about it, the more interested in it I am and I’d really love to see you as a submissive. And I was thinking that, in the future, you and Cas would have a BDSM relationship and of course I like being the watchful, neutral part of this relationship, but maybe, if I see I like it, I could participate…?” He didn’t mean to make it sound like a question but Dean’s intense stare made him feel as if he said something wrong. “What?”

Breaking out in a fat smile, he said, “Nothing. It’s just – I think it’s great that you want to see if it’s something you’d like as well, that makes me happy. But are you serious? Do you really mean it? Because if you do, it’d be fucking great. You could be like Cas’ apprentice… or something like that…” Dean bit his lip again, this time as he grinned widely and leaned in to nip Jimmy’s earlobe playfully. “You sure you don’t only want to see me bent over with my ass red?” he whispered teasingly.

“Well, it sounds nice too, but I truly am interested in it. Seriously.” He ended his sentence with a peck on Dean’s cheek and smiled at him.

“Okay, surprise him as a Sub it is…” Dean breathed out, looking around the room as if he was searching for something. “There’s only one problem…”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know what Cas likes, I don’t know his limits or anything about him when it comes to this, and there’s no way he could know about my limits…” he explained, meeting Jimmy’s eyes. “He knows about impact play and Michael, though that’s about it. And it’s just not possible to surprise him with a scene without us having even talked about it first.”

“Okay, wait. You don’t have to start with something big. Is there something like basics in BDSM? Like, I don’t know, typical stuff that’s cool with everyone? Doing the kneeling, presenting, not speaking stuff? That should be alright, shouldn’t it?”

Frowning, Dean said, “I dunno, there are not really any basics… but I guess you’re right. Cas should be fine with it if I present for him and listen to his orders. Just so you can get to know the kind of dynamic between a Sub and a Dom. And knowing Cas, it should still be a surprise. He likes being in control and caring for his partners, _that_ I know.”

Smiling, Jimmy grasped Dean’s face in his hand and kissed him once more, tenderly. “See, it’ll work out.” There was a happy grin on his boyfriend’s face and he stared at it for a while before he placed a kiss on top of it, whispering, “Do you have a routine?”

“Like what?”

“What do you do right before a play session?” Their lips were so close that, when they spoke, they brushed against each other and it had goosebumps rising on Jimmy’s skin.

Sitting up and straddling Jimmy’s waist, Dean grinned cheekily and said, “Well, I’d usually start in the shower. I’m the morning type when it comes to showering, but since we did that last night already, I think I’ll skip that for now.”

“Tell me, what would you do in the shower?”

He talked with a low and rumbling voice that made Jimmy’s pulse quicken and saliva pool in his mouth as he wished to be inside of that stunning man giving him a lascivious and hot smile as he almost whispered, “I’d clean myself up all nicely, make sure I’m good to go and I’d shave. You know, women like when it’s all smooth ‘cause it feels better and makes me look bigger, but I think Cas would like that too, you know. I think he’d like to put his hands on me and _feel_.” To emphasize what he was saying, Dean took Jimmy’s hand and slid it past the waistband of his briefs to glide it across the smooth and soft skin of his pubic area but not deep enough to touch his cock, making Jimmy take in a sharp breath as he remembered touching and kissing it the day before. When he pulled their hands back out, he said, “See, all shaved and smooth just for you two.”

“What then?” Now his mouth was suddenly very dry.

“Then comes the prepping. Sometimes, I do it in the shower, mostly when I’m in a hurry and have to be quick, but when I want to take some time just for me,” Dean let his hands slide up Jimmy’s torso, coming to a stop on his chest where he gave his pecs a slight squeeze, “I take out my toy, cover it in lube and start opening myself up with it real slow while I’m on my knees, propped up on one hand.”

Jimmy did not intend to swallow so loud that it chimed through the quiet bedroom but it happened anyway and there was heat building low in his stomach that he had no control over as he imagined what Dean was saying. “Go on,” he managed to press past his clenched teeth, trying not to flip Dean over and take him right here and now.

As if knowing just how turned on Jimmy already was, Dean teased, “Sometimes, I exchange the rubber with a big plug so I’ll stay open and ready, but other times, I just keep going, fucking back onto it until I come. But you gotta know, it’s never enough. Only a real, nice dick does the trick, you know, as if my greedy ass knows it’ll get something better soon…” There was a shit-eating grin on his face as Jimmy let a groan slip past and he rocked his hips once, creating friction that was at once too much and not enough for Jimmy’s slowly hardening cock. “You wanna know what I do then?” At his vigorous nodding, Dean chuckled and said, “Then I get to my Baby, sit down behind her wheel where I can feel how open but empty I am and I meet with my Dom, get into our room and take off all my clothes to wait on the same spot as I do every time – on my knees with my hands behind my back and eyes lowered. And then, I’ll do whatever I’m told to do.”

“Show me,” Jimmy whispered, swallowing thickly as another wave of arousal hit him. This was not meant to be about him, so he just had to suck it up and jerk off later. 

Quirking a brow with an amused smile on his lips, Dean got off of him and crawled out of bed, walking towards his dresser where he pulled open a drawer only to take out a matte black dildo and bring it back into bed when he sat down next to Jimmy. His eyes were glued to the rubber and he imagined Dean thrusting it in and out of his tight heat until he came. “Show me,” he repeated, his voice barely more than a breath.

“Nu-uh…” Dean chastised, wiggling his finger in front of him with a smirk. “I think I’ll go with only my fingers for today.”

“Why?”

Chuckling, the blonde teased, “Why Sir, so you don’t die of a heart attack just watching it disappear between my cheeks…” The finger that was shaking in front of his face before was now tracing down a line from his chin to his chest playfully, stopping where his heart lay beneath to place his hand above the spot, and Dean leaned in again, whispering, “That would be a shame.”

And with that, he withdrew his body from Jimmy and he shuddered at the loss of its warmth so close to his own, watching as Dean put the rubber back into the drawer and opened the door. “Wha–Where are you going?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll just brush my teeth before I come back and do the prepping. Wait there for me.”

Jimmy watched Dean leave the room and for a while, the only thing he could hear was his wildly beating heart as pictures flashed before his eyelids of his boyfriend making himself feel good with that dildo. A moment later, Dean came back into the room in all his naked glory and crawled on top of the bed again, making Jimmy take in a sharp breath at seeing him so bared, tracking Dean’s every movement with his eyes like a predator watching their prey while sliding up the bed to sit upright with his back against the headboard.

The blonde scrambled to reach the nightstand drawer to retrieve a bottle of lube and once he got it, he shifted so that he was hovering over Jimmy with his knees bracketing his ass, his crotch at chest level. Without speaking, he opened the lubricant and poured a generous amount of it onto his fingers before throwing it out of view and spreading the liquid. After that, he used his clean hand to place it on Jimmy’s shoulder, propping himself up like that, and reached his right hand behind his back.

With glazed and lust-blown eyes, Jimmy watched as the hand disappeared between his boyfriend’s legs and a moment later, Dean’s jaw dropped open in a silent moan and his dick gave a twitch in his pants at the sight, already fully hard. And as much as Jimmy wanted to see Dean’s beautiful face and how his cock filled with blood at the stimulation he was giving himself, he wanted even more to see what his fingers did. So he placed his hands on each of Dean’s thighs and curled his fingers around them, meeting those green eyes and whispering, “Turn around.”

Dean’s breath hitched slightly as he probably hit his spot and hurried to comply, and in no time, Jimmy suddenly had his boyfriend’s ass in front of his face and watched, enthralled, as those deft and long fingers fucked in and out of Dean’s tight hole, rotating and spreading them to open himself up. Jimmy could see that he was still somewhat loose from the day before and the thought had a possessive growl leaving his throat while he listened to Dean’s soft groans as he inserted a third, and not long after that, a fourth finger. The air was filled with heady arousal and the sounds of slick fingers thrusting into Dean.

His eyes were glued to where the blonde was working himself over and watching them disappear inside only to see them pull back out and how Dean’s rim stretched around them, all pink and glistening, had Jimmy fully hard in such a short time, that his head felt dizzy. His hands clamped around a fistful of sheets to keep himself from ripping down his boxer shorts and jerking off while also fighting the urge to lean forward and sticking his tongue into Dean’s hole to _taste._ He had never wanted to eat someone out, never even thought about it, but right now, the urge to do just that was all-consuming and when Dean let out a sound that was close to a whimper, he was barely even hanging on by a thread to keep his hands off. His cock was so hard, it hurt and there was pre-cum dampening his underwear.

This was a sight he would forever hold in his memory. Seeing Dean easily bump four fingers into his ass had him wondering if he’d ever want to be fisted and at the mere thought, another wave of pleasure coursed through his body, adding to the heat in his stomach, and he moaned loudly. And just when he thought he might come in his pants without any kind of stimulation – which was, by the way, something he didn’t know was even possible until he met Dean – the blonde pulled out his fingers and turned back around. While his skin was flushed and his pupils dilated, he looked pretty unshaken in contrast to the heavily panting Jimmy with a rock hard dick trapped in his boxers. Swallowing loudly, Jimmy breathed out, “See what you do to me?” and watched a triumphant smile form on Dean’s plush lips.

“Easy there, tiger, we wanted to prevent a heart attack, not encourage one.”

Jimmy slapped Dean’s chest playfully at his amused chuckle and warned, “Don’t tempt me, Winchester.” His breathing was still harsh and loud, though.

“Has no one ever fingered themselves in front of you? You’re puffing like a steam engine, geez. It’s like you have some sorta breathing condition,” he laughed slightly, laying his hand on top of his heart to feel how fast it was beating.

“I’m fine.”

Frowning, Dean asked, “Are you sure?”

Jimmy nodded, taking Dean’s hand and assuring, “Yes. I won’t die, don’t worry. I just came so close to blowing my load in my pants without having even laid a finger on my dick and it’s kinda new to me, so…”

“You almost came? Wow, didn’t think I’d have that effect on someone.” Though he sounded as if in wonder, there was another shit-eating grin widening his lips.

“Yeah, yeah, suck it up, Dean. One day, you’ll be the death of me, you happy now?”

Smiling broadly, Dean said, “Very,” and gave Jimmy’s chest a playful tap before shifting on his legs to get out of the bed. He was reaching his hand out for Jimmy and gave him an expectant look, waiting. So, with a chuckle, he took the offered hand and let himself be pulled up and out of bed as well, coming to stand in front of Dean. “Okay, how about you get out and bring me a chair from the kitchen so you can sit in it and watch later to calm down a bit and I make the bed?”

All he could do was nod and press his lips against Dean’s in a quick kiss before leaving the room and doing what he was told, although walking with such a boner was not a pleasant task. He took his time and when he brought the chair into the bedroom, Dean was already done with the bed and he barely managed to place down the chair in the corner of the room before they heard the distinct sound of rattling keys and the door being opened as Cas came back from his trip to the store. The two of them shared an understanding look and Jimmy left the room, closing the door after him, at the same time as Castiel entered the apartment and closed the front door.

“Hey,” he greeted and just then realized how low and raspy his voice was.

Placing Dean’s keys back on the coffee table in the living room, Cas met his eyes with a small smile and said, “Morning. You seem groggy, everything okay? Has Dean already woken up?” While he asked those questions, Castiel brought the bags into the kitchen and started pulling out groceries to place them in the fridge.

Jimmy followed him and tried to hide his raging erection behind the counter. “I’m fine, I just woke up again after I fell asleep when you left. So last time I checked, Dean was still sleeping like a rock,” he lied easily.

“Good, I bought something for him.”

Cocking his head in question, Jimmy watched his twin close the fridge and turn around to face him. “What is it?”

Without answering, Cas reached into another bag and pulled out a pair of jade green panties that were just as satiny as the ones Dean wore last night. At the sight, he was being remembered of his hard-on, but there was a smile breaking out across his face anyway and Castiel grinned as well. “I thought he’d need something to match his eyes.”

“Is that why you wanted to go grocery shopping?” They met eyes and while Cas’ gaze was amused, the rest of his face was sincere.

“No, I really wanted to do that. If we live here for a week without a note, we can at least buy food, right? But I passed by this store on my way back and I thought I’d just take a look.”

Smiling fondly, Jimmy nodded and said, “You’re right. And he’ll love them, I’m sure of it.” Cas merely nodded and gave him a small smile before turning back to the groceries. “Well, I’ll wake up Dean so he can see what you bought, come join us?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll just stow away the last items,” Castiel said, not knowing that he was making it even easier for Dean and Jimmy to surprise him.

When he reentered the bedroom, Dean was already kneeling on the floor in front of the bed, his head bowed slightly, and hands resting in his lap. He was so stunning that Jimmy’s heart did a somersault and he had to refrain from kissing every part of his beautiful body as he closed the door, his eyes never leaving Dean. The blonde’s chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm, his breathing deep and calm as he waited for Cas, and Jimmy couldn’t stop himself from pressing a kiss on top of his head, into his hair, before taking his seat in the chair and waiting for Castiel as well.

It didn’t take long until the door handle indicated that someone was about to open it and enter the room, and when Cas took a step forward, crossing the threshold with the bag containing the small gift for their boyfriend in his right hand, and his eyes fell upon Dean, he stopped abruptly. In silence, he placed down the bag carefully and closed the door, turning to stare at the blonde with wide and dark eyes, his mouth curled in a fond and small smile, although he looked a bit confused when he managed to shift his eyes to Jimmy and asked, “What’s going on?”

“It’s a surprise, Cas,” Jimmy explained in a soft voice, seeing his twin swallow thickly. “Your boyfriend is waiting for his Dom.”

For a very short moment, absolute joy crossed Cas’ features and his eyes widened marginally before he seemed to get a hold of his excitement and controlled his face, his expression turning neutral but polite. “A surprise?” he echoed, taking a step towards the blonde. “You want me to guide you, Dean?”

Nodding slightly, Dean took a deep breath and seemed to relax even more.

“Okay, but before we start, there are going to be a few rules. First,” he started, taking another step forward to stand directly in front of their kneeling boyfriend and placing a hand on the back of Dean’s neck tenderly to stroke him. Dean keened at the touch, his back arching and body breaking out in goosebumps as he let go of a breathy sigh. “I want you to look me in the eyes, Dean. Don’t ever withhold those stunning orbs from me.”

Dean lifted his head and looked at Castiel without hesitation, for which he received a smile from Cas. “Second, if I ask you a question, you’ll answer verbally.”

In a quiet and calm voice, the blonde answered, “Yes, Sir.”

“Mhhh, that’s another thing,” Castiel buried the tips of his fingers in the hair at Dean’s nape and stroked his scalp at which his eyes fluttered shut while letting out another soft sigh. “I don’t like to be called Sir, or Master for that matter, I’ll be addressed as Castiel.”

“Yes, Castiel.”

“Very well. At last, we’ll need to discuss safe words, though for now, we’ll stick to the color system. Are you familiar with it?”

“Yes, I am… Castiel.”

Smiling brightly, Cas let his hand travel from Dean’s neck down between his shoulder blades along his curved spine, making Dean’s eyelids flutter once more. It was amazing to watch how much of an impact on his body Cas’ light touch had. “Explain it to me, then.”

“Green, good. Yellow, approaching limit. And red, full stop,” Dean said, his eyes still trained on Castiel’s.

“Good. If you want to stop, then you’ll say red and I’ll stop immediately,” Cas confirmed, keeping his hand on Dean’s shoulder as he circled him to take in all of his body. The silence in the room was comfortable though heated, in a good way, and Jimmy reclined more calmly into the chair as he watched his twin cradle the side of Dean’s face in his hand tenderly, locking his eyes onto green ones. “You’re beautiful, Dean Winchester, do you know that?”

In a small but honest tone, Dean answered, “No, but you make me feel beautiful, Castiel.”

A fond expression crossed Cas’ features before he set his face again. He let his hand slide underneath Dean’s chin, making him stand up with only this touch, his eyes roaming Dean’s naked body for a moment. His cock was bared for their eyes and as their boyfriend stood there, in front of Cas, Jimmy saw that it was already hardening. Even though Dean had a few inches on them when it came to body height, he seemed smaller than Castiel right then, which was odd but also truly fascinating.

Leaning in to graze Dean’s lips with his own, sliding his tongue across the tender and plush flesh, Cas whispered, “Just the thought of you drives me crazy, and now you’re doing this, for me… You’re perfect.” Dean’s breath hitched at the words and Castiel took his opportunity to press their lips together and kiss him in an all tongue and teeth kiss, swapping spit like they were dying to taste each other.

After a while, Cas exchanged his tongue with two fingers and Jimmy watched, enthralled, as Dean licked and sucked them into his mouth with a sweet but shy grin. Once Castiel seemed to be content with Dean’s work, he pulled his slick fingers back out and gave their boyfriend a pleased smile, whispering in a deep and gravelly voice, “Such a good boy,” at which Dean’s body broke out in goosebumps and an obvious shiver ran down his back.

Cas smirked as the blonde did nothing more than to stay silent and waiting, sneaking a hand down between Dean's easily open thighs just to trace one spit-slick finger along his taint and balls and to tease at the root of his cock that Jimmy could see was now fully hard, its flesh flushed and absolutely mesmerizing. A sharp breath left Dean’s lungs at the touch and Jimmy felt his cock spurt another drop of pre-cum. He spread his legs and adjusted in his chair, leaning forward a bit to watch Castiel’s fingers disappear between Dean’s cheeks, his left hand pulling them apart to reveal his prepped hole. “I wanted to know how you’d be as my submissive since I first saw you at that bar,” Castiel said almost conversationally, the pad of his thumb swiping dryly over Dean's rim right before the two saliva-covered fingers dipped past it into his lovely heat.

Dean’s back arched beautifully at the intrusion and he let out a quiet moan as Castiel probably aimed directly at his prostate. At the next moan leaving the blonde, a heated flicker of arousal curled through Jimmy, and he knew that this was going to be intense for him, even though he was merely watching.

“Mmmh,” Cas hummed with a smirk on his lips, “You’re already open for me. Couldn’t wait for me to be inside you, huh?”

“Want you, Castiel,” Dean moaned as Cas added another finger and hit his prostate once more, on purpose. And then he just pulled them out without warning and Dean almost whined at the loss, making Jimmy’s cock throb painfully in his boxers, so he slid them down enough to free his member and give it a few strokes, sighing in relief.

He jerked himself slowly, gathering pre-cum to slick up his cock for a smoother ride, and watched with lust-blown eyes as Cas delicately traced his hands over the fully bared flesh of Dean's hips and the dips that led to his straining erection before turning him around and saying, “On your hands and knees, Dean.”

Complying without hesitation, Dean crawled onto the bed and placed down in the middle of it, propped up on his hands and knees as he was told. Castiel paused then, running his hand down Dean's spine and letting the pads of his calloused fingers trace over the slight imperfections of Dean's skin as it was still healing from his session with Michael from a few weeks ago. The tender touch eased the newfound tenseness from Dean’s shoulders and smoothed out the glide of his hips as his back arched to display his gloriously naked ass for Castiel.

Seeing him all soft and sweet, the opposite of how he usually knew Dean, was absolutely mesmerizing and Jimmy slowed down his strokes to appreciate what was happening. Dean was completely submissive and it was amazing to watch his body respond to Cas as he waited for his Dom’s guidance, who had his pants opened and his leaking cock freed already.

There was a power balance that could not just be felt but also be seen because Cas still wore all of his clothes while Dean was completely bared for his Dom and it only turned Jimmy on more. 

“So beautiful, Dean. So Perfect,” Castiel praised with an expression of wonder all written over his face. Dean’s breathing was slow and controlled, every fiber of his body on high alert. Jimmy could see that he was relying only on Cas now and his twin knew it. He was so rapt up with Dean’s obedience, that for a long moment, he merely stood there with his hands on Dean’s hips and stared.

Until he snapped back out of his trance and used the thumb of his right hand to press firmly against Dean’s taint once more as he thrust his hips forward, sliding his cock up the cleft of Dean's ass and holding it there as the blonde moaned and spread his legs even wider.

The sight of Cas’ hard and leaking cock pillowed by Dean's ass was almost too much for Jimmy and he resumed jerking himself off.

“What’s your color, Dean?”

“Gr–nngh… green, Castiel!” The blonde groaned unabashedly, letting his head dangle between his arms and breathing harshly, as Cas slid his cock up and down his cleft twice before aligning himself with his hole and keeping still as his blunt head pressed against Dean’s open rim.

Then, without any preamble, Castiel thrust home in one powerful push, cock sinking all the way deep into his scalding heat, making Dean shudder and his mouth drop open in a loud moan. For a moment, Cas seemed overwhelmed with Dean’s tightness and screwed his eyes closed, taking a few panting breaths while clamping his hands around his boyfriend’s hips in a bruising grip. After a moment, he seemed to have gained enough control to hiss past clenched teeth, “You and me, Dean, pressed together, our bodies interlocked and enjoying each other like this… I’ve never felt anything purer than that. I know how you taste, Dean, I know the weight of you, I–" He interrupted himself as he moaned lowly, his fingers biting into Dean’s skin so much, that they turned white. “ _God…_ ”

_Yup, Dean was doing his usual clenching._

Jimmy smirked at his boyfriend and he felt himself getting closer to the edge with every stroke.

Pulling back out very slowly and carefully, Cas took a few calming breaths before fixing his grip on Dean’s hips, squeezing tightly, and yanking – dragging Dean back and forcing his cock inside his body as he rotated his hips and ground down. It punched a yell out of Dean and now Cas was the one smirking as Jimmy closed his eyes and let his orgasm wash over him. Though he hurried to open his eyes and see what was happening in front of him.

Castiel was like a furnace at the blonde’s back, taking Dean in harsh and unforgiving thrusts as he made sure to nail his prostate with every drag, and Dean just found himself meeting his thrusts with intensifying frequency, his lips parting with every moan and jaw dropping so he could pant out. Each snap into Dean had his neglected cock bouncing and bobbing between his legs, slapping against his belly, and if Jimmy hadn’t already come, this sight would have tipped him over for sure.

And just like he said, Dean was completely quiet save for the whimpering, moans, and yells leaving him whenever Cas hit home extra hard. And Castiel, he was like a force of nature behind Dean. It was like he went wild just feeling his boyfriend without any barriers and Jimmy could relate to that. Dean did feel absolutely mind-blowing without a condom.

While he remembered how it felt to be inside the blonde, Jimmy watched Dean fall apart underneath Cas as his movements began to falter and his thighs started quaking, and yes, Castiel was right. Concentrating only on Dean as he tipped over the edge, his body going bow-string tight before his cock gave a twitch and cum followed in thick, white robes as his orgasm made his body twitch and spasm, was the most gorgeous thing he’d ever witnessed.

After Cas rode out the last wave of orgasm, Dean collapsed onto his chest with his ass still in the air for Castiel to finish and he panted loudly, although his face looked completely blissed out and dazed where it was smashed into the sheets so Jimmy could see him. He didn’t even really blink anymore, just smiled a dopey smile as Castiel’s movements faltered as well and he emptied his release deep inside of Dean with a satisfied sigh, and seeing the blonde so fucked out and light-headed was truly a blessing.

Carefully, Cas pulled out and supported Dean’s weight with his hands, slowly turning him around to look at him. Jimmy put himself back into his pants and stood to walk towards the bed and take in Dean from close. His green, half-lidded eyes were bright and glazed over, his skin flushed and sweaty, and his smile lazy as he blinked up at them sleepily. “How are you feeling, Dean?” Cas asked softly, stroking his arm to keep him with them.

“Aw’sme…” he uttered, grinning widely.

“Yeah?” Castiel pulled down his pants completely and took off his shirt, bending down over Dean with his now naked body to slide his arms underneath him. “What do you say, we take a bath, and afterward, you can nap for a while?” Dean nodded vigorously instead of a verbal answer and Jimmy chuckled as Cas adjusted one arm at Dean’s back and the other underneath his thighs to lift him up off the bed and pull him against his body protectively. “Okay, come on.”

“I can walk m’slef… Cas,” Dean mumbled, watching Jimmy follow behind them doe-eyed. “‘m not some blushin’ bride.”

Chuckling, Cas assured, “I know you can, Dean. Just, if I hadn’t carried you here, you’d still be in bed and probably doze off and it would have taken hours for you to collect enough energy to stand up and walk here. Although I’ll have to admit that you do blush very prettily.” Dean didn’t seem to be even listening to Cas as he was placed down on the closed toilet lid and held there by Jimmy while Castiel plugged the bathtub and turned on the faucet to fill it with warm water.

When Dean still didn’t answer, he turned around and crouched in front of him, placing his hands on his knees to keep his mind clear by reminding him of their presence with touches. “Are with us, Dean?”

Nodding sluggishly, Dean whispered, “Yeah,” and Cas breathed out in relief. He knew Dean would go into subspace faster than any other partner he had ever had before, but he didn’t know it would be _this_ fast. The blonde seemed to let go way too easily and it worried him in the prospect of Michael and the fact that this was their first ‘scene’ and he’d already trust Cas enough to feel like letting go. He made a mental note to talk about it with him later, but now, he checked the temperature of the water and turned off the faucet once he deemed it full and warm enough.

Then, he helped Dean up to his feet carefully and led him to the tub, supporting his weight as he slowly stepped into the water and lowered himself in it. He didn’t lean back against the tub though and Castiel got the message as Dean looked at him questioningly, so he stepped in behind Dean and sat down, leaning against the cold porcelain and spreading his legs to make room for his boyfriend’s body. “Lean back,” he coaxed and smiled when Dean did as he was told and leaned back against Castiel’s chest with his back, sighing contently.

Smiling softly, Dean buried the side of his face in Cas’ shoulder and took Cas’ arms to place his hands on his stomach where they always rested when they were in their typical position in bed together, and Castiel smiled fondly. He loved how tactile and affectionate he was after sex and he relished being so close and sharing body heat with Dean.

Castiel took some time to think about the sex they had and he still felt tingly just thinking about how sweet and beautiful Dean had been during it and how breathtaking it had been to be able to feel him without a condom because it was unexpectedly different and way more intimate to be inside of him without any kind of barrier, no matter how thin it was. Although Dean had been the one to initiate sex without them, Castiel had to admit that he was the one who went absolutely wild once they did. It had felt so amazing, that he had not just been afraid, but _so_ close to orgasming after only a few thrusts, though he’d managed to hold it off. Once he had thrust into Dean with all his might, though, he had been coming so undone by the experience that he never wanted to go back to condoms again. Instead, Cas had the presumption that he was developing a serious kink for coming inside of Dean, enjoying him without barriers and marking him as his in a deeply primal way, and surely he wanted to experience that more.

Truly, when Castiel had entered the room and seen Dean on his knees, he had meant to take things slow so that he could fully appreciate everything about their beautiful boyfriend from top to bottom. However, he had barely been holding it together as it was and Dean had been no more patient judging by the way he had met every thrust with his eager ass.

He was ripped out of his reverie as he saw motion at their side, and he watched as Jimmy suddenly appeared with a glass of water and handed it to Cas, who made Dean drink it all before giving his twin a thankful look and watching as he settled down next to the tub.

Dean dozed off even though he was laying in the water and Castiel grinned in amusement as he carefully rubbed his boyfriend’s body clean while listening to his soft breathing. After he was done with that, he tried to clean himself as much as possible with Dean’s body resting on top of his, and met Jimmy’s eyes, saying, “It was your idea, right?”

Shrugging, Jimmy answered, “Yeah, he said that he wanted to surprise you because you were so patient yesterday. And I suggested this. But I also wanted to see how this could work and if I’d be interested in it, so I guess I was also thinking about myself and not just you.”

“Are you?” Castiel had to admit that he was surprised to hear that from Jimmy and he wondered if he’d be interested in it if it wasn’t for Dean.

“What?”

“Interested?”

“After today, I really am. Dean said he’d be happy if it was something we could try in the future. And, of course, I don’t need to be a fully trained Dom or anything, you know, but I could participate somehow. Whenever there’s not a specifically experienced dominant required.”

“There are a lot of things you can do without experience as long as you’re careful and observant. Like what we did just now, it was vanilla sex with the exception of our new dynamic. You can be dominant without experience or give orders. You can also provide for aftercare. What you can’t do without experience is using certain toys or equipment like whips, crops, floggers, ropes, or medical stuff. And I am not even talking about the extreme.”

Nodding, Jimmy said, “Yeah, Dean told me that a real scene wasn’t possible without knowing each other’s likes and dislikes and limits and stuff. And he said that there’s nothing like ‘basics’.”

As Cas thought about it for a second, he caressed the soft skin right underneath Dean’s navel and smiled slightly. “Well, you could consider what we did earlier as ‘basics’ because we were Dom and Sub having sex without anything else. But if you’re truly interested in participating as Dean’s ‘second’ Dom, then I’m totally fine with it and if it makes Dean happy, it’s even better.”

“How would we know about his limits?”

“We’d have something that’s similar to a contract with a checklist and we would have to sit down together and talk about how this is going to work, of course.”

In an amused tone, Jimmy quipped, “If I’d known relationships were this complicated…”

“Well, I think this is an exception,” Castiel chuckled and grinned widely when he looked down at Dean, who began to stir and blinked open his eyes. For a moment, he seemed to have problems orienting himself, but once he moved his body and heard the sound of sloshing water, he sat up straight and gazed at Jimmy.

“Everything okay?”

The blonde gave a slight nod and stood to step out of the bathtub, “Yeah, my skin just gets all wrinkly and it’s disgusting.”

Laughing softly, Jimmy and Cas watched Dean grab a towel and start drying himself off, and Castiel decided he should leave the tub as well. So he stood, left the bath, and pulled the plug, grabbing a towel, too, and starting to dry his body next to Dean.

When the blonde dropped his towel – accidentally or not – Cas crouched at his feet and picked it up for him, and when he slowly got from his knees to his feet, he came face to face with the crisp clear imprint of his fingers as bruising in their shapes began to develop along the man's hip bones. Without his permission, a low groan slipped past his teeth and Dean grinned as he teasingly cocked his hip out and asked, “Like that?”

“Mmm, quite a lot,” Castiel growled, dropping his mouth to the bruise and sucking lightly on the flesh before standing up all the way and handing Dean his, presumably, intentionally dropped towel. At their boyfriend’s smug smirk, Cas said, “You’re a tease, Dean.”

“And you love it.”

He sure did.

Two days after that, Jimmy and Cas came back home a little later than usual from grocery shopping. Since Dean worked on weekdays, they decided to take over tasks like that completely, regardless of how many times Dean told them not to feel obligated to do that.

When they entered the apartment, their boyfriend was already sitting on the couch but unlike the days before, Dean didn’t jump off and welcome them with a happy smile. He kept sitting in his spot, his posture slumped, arms propped up on his knees, and his face buried in his hands.

Seeing him like that and remembering what Sam had entrusted them, Castiel was immediately alerted and dropped his things to crouch down in front of him and asked, “Hey, what’s wrong, Dean? Did something happen?”

Jimmy joined them after closing the front door and they were careful not to touch Dean or to come too close to him in favor of preventing him from being overwhelmed. “Dean?”

He shook his head, scrubbing his hands over his face before letting them dangle between his knees and looking at them. “I’m fine.”

That was obviously a lie since his eyes were bloodshot and everything about him screamed ‘not fine’. With a soft voice, Cas asked, “Would you like to talk about it?”

“It’s stupid.”

Taking his hand into his own, Castiel said, “It’s not stupid if it concerns you. We’re here to listen, Dean. Talk to us.”

“It’s just…” he sighed and rubbed his eyes forcefully, “I met this guy I used to know at work today ‘cause he brought in his car. When he saw me, he asked what I was still doing here and if I had a wife and kids and all that crap… it just– it had me thinking.” When Dean met their questioning but sincere gazes, he explained, “Sam told me that I have nothing here and I start to think… maybe he’s right, you know?” With a sigh, he let his hands drop to his knees and admitted, “Those weeks apart from you, however short they may have been, they just showed me how fucking alone I am and that I have no one here. Sam was right. And–and you’ll leave again in five days and I just, I can’t– God, I feel so damn lonely…” A tear slipped down his cheek but Dean was fast to wipe it away and play it off with a fake smile. Shaking his head, Dean mumbled, “I told you – it’s stupid.”

Watching another tear spill over after the first broke something inside of Cas and the words left his mouth before he even realized he had opened it to speak. “Move in with us.”

Jimmy shared a concerned look with him but Cas knew it wasn’t about what he had said but because he was afraid of Dean turning it down. And, _God_ , so was Castiel.

“What?”

Dean didn’t look as freaked out as he had thought he would and it gave him enough courage to say, “Come to California with us and stay.”

Frowning, Dean stammered, “I don’t under–”

Before their boyfriend could freak out and leave, Castiel hurried to say, “Okay wait. I’ll have to admit that ever since you have gone back home, I’ve been looking at apartments for the three of us and there are a lot that I think would suit us well and are in our price range. You’d live near your brother and we’d finally have a chance to deepen this relationship.”

“You what?” Dean sounded even more confused and perplexed than he looked. “You… you want me to live with you?” Hearing the disbelief in Dean’s voice at merely asking this made Castiel aware of that awful pain inside of him once more and he had to control himself not to give in to the urge to wrap his arms around Dean and never let him go again.

His voice was raw with emotion when he said, “Yes. Please. I know it had only been three weeks but you weren’t the only one realizing how lonely you are. I’ve never felt so _wrong_ alone in my apartment and I want to share one with you and Jimmy. I want you in my life permanently. I want you to be the last one I see in the night and first one I see in the morning, Dean.”

“How…? I mean, are you sure? How could y–”

Jimmy interrupted Dean before he could start talking down on himself again and worry about all the ways he could ruin their lives – God, they really had to work on that with Dean; he was his own worst enemy – and assured, “We’re a hundred percent sure, Dean. Move in with us. We’d be the happiest to have you around every day because those days with you had been the best of my life so far and I don’t want to let this go. I’m selfish, and sometimes it would be good for yourself to be so as well. And if being selfish means moving in with us and being closer to your brother, so be it. You’d do us all a favor because then we’d get to be with you every day and we wouldn’t be lonely either. Everyone wins, you see?”

And as unbelievable and too-good-to-be-true as it sounded, Dean agreed to move in with them after they all talked about it for a while. He even called his brother and asked what he thought about this idea and Jimmy and Cas were so indescribably thankful that Sam thought it would be a great one. He encouraged Dean to move to California and even said that it was nice that he wouldn’t be alone in his place. The only compromise they had was to make sure they would live within walking distance from Sam so that they could visit each other whenever they wanted and Castiel had never felt so excited in his entire life.

The days following, the three of them looked at some apartments online and the twins soon learned what Dean liked – enough space, glass facades or panorama windows and places that had both a shower and a bathtub because he loved “bubble-baths” – and what he didn’t; small kitchens. And after a few nights of searching the internet, they even found a place that had it all. Walking distance to Sam’s apartment, panorama windows, an open concept with kitchen and living space and a shower, _and_ a “big-ass” bathtub. Even the price was okay and with Jimmy’s income as a famous tattooist and his own income as a successful accountant, they already covered the rent with enough money left to live their lives as freely and comfortably as they did before.

After having found their place and booked a viewing, they discussed that Dean would have to stay three weeks longer than them because he still had a lot to do before he could move out, with everything concerning moving out of his old apartment and quitting his job and getting rid of his old furniture – he told them that they wouldn’t have any need for them and since he was going to drive to California with his car anyway, he could only keep the important stuff.

And so they spent their last days organizing and discussing the procession, cooking and watching TV together and making out in bed or on the sofa.

Saying goodbye afterward was even harder than it had been the first time and when Dean drove them to the airport, the two of them almost missed their flight because they couldn’t let go of Dean. But now they knew for sure that they would see their boyfriend again and in three weeks, they’d start their new life together.

It was all still so surreal, though. 

Even when Cas went to bed in his own apartment again and realized that he wouldn't be spending very long in it anymore, it felt too good to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mention of domestic violence and depression, mention of abuse, mention of using torture/impact play devices wrongly, unprotected sex, sex toys


	8. February – Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m always happy about a kudo if you like it 😊
> 
> Read the End Notes for chapter warnings!!

As soon as he slammed the door shut, he went right to the kitchen sink and splashed his face with some cold water to try and shock his system and calm the nausea that had been pressing at the back of his throat the entire ride home.

This was gonna be his last night in this apartment and it only truly registered on his way here. And he was so freaking nervous.

What if he fucked it up? What if he screwed up the only nice thing that had ever happened in his life?

He wasn’t afraid to move away from Kansas and leave his old life behind, he also wasn’t afraid of moving to California to live with his boyfriends. What had him sweaty and anxious was the fear of ruining it in some way. Because he was Dean fucking Winchester and everything he touched got ruined so far and he didn’t want to lose them. God, he’d never forgive himself.

_Get it together, Winchester…_

Taking a few deep breaths, Dean closed his eyes and tried to turn off that voice. It had been bugging him for about a week now, constantly in the back of his mind, telling him how he’ll mess up his shot at happiness just like he messed up everything before and making it harder for him to fall asleep at night than it already was without a bed or mattress to lie on.

Dean had managed to get rid of all his furniture over the course of three weeks, an old friend of his even gave him some cash for the couch and TV, which Dean was pretty happy about. His apartment was therefore completely empty safe for the fitted kitchen and a few blankets and pillows on the floor in the center of the living room that posed as his makeshift bed. Since the linoleum floor was hard and unforgiving, Dean’s back had been stiff for a few days now and it all just added up to his mood.

When the shaking of his hands lessened and his pulse got back to normal, Dean swallowed down the nausea and thought about all the things left to do to keep his mind off that trail of thought and the voice subsided.

So far, he had managed to fall asleep without alcohol, even if it had taken him hours, and he wanted to keep it that way since it was only one more night before he would take the car and leave this town at six in the morning. Then he’d take a motel room for a few hours once he’d reached half the way to Cali to get some shut-eye before he’d drive the rest of the way to his brother and boyfriends to start his new life.

And, _yup_ , that was his nausea threatening to overwhelm him again.

Maybe he was just a little afraid.

But that tiny part of him that was afraid of committing himself to two guys at once and live with them was not strong enough to quell the excitement and anticipation he felt when thinking about it.

He could do this, he would not screw this up, he would not make them hate him; no. This wasn’t something he did out of adventure or some kind of visceral decision that he made in the heat of the moment. Dean had listened to them explain everything from how they wanted this to go to even the bad things that could happen and how they would overcome them. He had asked for his brother’s opinion and listened to his heart. And even after three weeks of thinking about it and spending time apart from them, he knew that this was what he wanted. What he had always wanted. And he knew that this was the right thing to do.

So, really, there was no reason for him to be afraid. Except for that fucking voice in the back of his mind telling him otherwise.

Dean hated when it didn’t leave him alone and he hadn’t found an opportunity to turn it off completely since he told Michael that he wouldn’t be having any scenes with him for a while the day Cas and Jimmy had arrived and so he hadn’t been a Sub and able to let go for longer than he could remember.

Two days ago, he had met Michael in a Café and told him about his plans to move away – although not telling him where – and that this was going to be the last time they’d see each other. When Dean had clarified that they would consequently no longer have this arrangement and suggested that Michael should look out for a new submissive, the Dom hadn’t taken it very well and asked Dean to stay because he meant so much to him. But he had said that he couldn’t and wouldn’t do so and told him to let him go before Dean had put down a ten-dollar bill to cover their coffees and walked out of the café to drive to the auto repair shop and quit his job.

Now, there truly wasn’t anything left for him here – no job, no Dom and his landlord had informed him that the apartment had to be cleared out and ready for new tenants by Monday, which was in four days. He had also told Dean to put his keys into the apartment’s mailbox when he left and come morning, he would do exactly that and leave this place behind.

He couldn’t wait to spend his first night with Jimmy and Cas in their new home.

At the sound of his ringing phone in his jean pocket, Dean was brought back to reality and he reached behind himself to pull it out of the pocket and answer the call. “Speaking of the devil,” he said, smiling despite himself.

_“It’s nice to hear from you too, Dean. Are you with someone right now?”_

“Nah, I was just thinking about you,” Dean tried to go for nonchalance but he knew Cas could see right through him, even though they were miles apart.

There was soft chuckling at the other end of the line and Castiel said, _“Me too, that’s also why I’m calling you. Is everything okay, did you manage to get everything done?”_

“Yes, I’m fine, I’ve done everything I need to leave this place, and all my stuff is packed in boxes and loaded up in the car. I’m all good to go in the morning,” he assured.

_“Okay, but you’ll give us a call when you leave? And also when you stop at a motel and give us the location, maybe e–”_

“Cas, I’ll be fine!” Dean rolled his eyes at Castiel’s overprotectiveness although there was no one here to see it. “I promise I’ll call when I leave tomorrow, ‘kay? Does that make you happy?”

_“Very much, thank you, Dean.”_ After a short pause, he said, _“We can’t wait to see you again. I miss you,”_ his voice softer now.

A small smile crossed Dean’s face and he answered, “I miss you, too. But we’ll see each other in less than two days.”

_“That sounds like a long time…”_

“Yeah… way too long,” Dean hummed, frowning at the longing he could hear in Cas’ voice.

_“Have good night, Dean. We’ll be thinking about you.”_

Grinning, he said, “Me too, have a good night. I’ll see you.” Dean waited for Castiel to hang up and once the peep signaled that the call was ended, he put his phone on top of the kitchen counter and grabbed the bottle of water he had placed there earlier this day, chugging almost all of it.

He put down the bottle with a quiet noise at the same time as he heard a knock on his door and when he grabbed his phone to check the time, he frowned. It was 9:07 pm and he didn’t expect anyone to come by at all.

Dropping his cell, he started walking towards the door as a few more, this time, louder knocks followed, and once he reached it, he opened the door to reveal a disheveled-looking Michael, first staring at him before his gaze shifted past Dean and into his empty apartment.

Confused, Dean asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Dean, I–I can’t let you go, you needa stay…” Michael slurred, meeting his eyes with dark blue ones.

Giving him a disbelieving look, Dean realized, “You’re drunk. Go home, Michael. This is none of your business and I told you that I won’t stay. Outside of our arrangement, we didn’t have anything to do with each other. So leave.” He was about to close the door but Michael stopped it by taking a step into the apartment without permission and standing right in Dean’s personal space where he could smell the alcohol in Michael's breath. Dean took a cautious step back and met his glazed eyes again. 

“I won’t let you go, Dean.”

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you but there’s nothing you can do about it,” Dean’s voice got rougher but louder and he took hold of the door again at the same time as he pressed his palm against Michael’s chest and pushed him back outside, “And now– leave.”

Taking a stubborn step back towards Dean, too close to him to be honest, Michael growled, “I’ll make you stay.” And with that, he closed the space between them and grabbed Dean by the back of his head to pull him in for a desperate kiss and the blonde struggled to rip himself away from the man once the initial shock subsided. After a few tries, unfortunately not fast enough to escape Michael’s tongue seeking access, Dean managed to push him off with a disgusted grunt, wiping his mouth with a glare directed at Michael.

Spitting the words out angrily towards him, Dean lowered his voice and snarled, “Are you out of your damn mind?! Don’t you fucking try that again, you ba–” But before he could even finish his threat or register what was happening next, Michael was on him again, this time even more aggressive, and he made Dean stumble backward with the assault as the Dom gripped his biceps with both hands and kept him firmly against his body while trying to push his tongue down Dean’s throat.

He tried to yell “stop” or “no” and to push the man off of him but Michael had always had an impressive amount of strength and it didn’t seem to have lessened even in his drunken state. When he took a moment to breathe, though, Dean had the opportunity to growl, “Get off me Michael!” and he collected enough strength and anger to push him away again, this time swinging his fist into the man’s face since he didn’t seem to understand words. “Don’t you know what ‘no’ means, you fucking pig?!” At Michael’s furious gaze and clenching jaw, Dean yelled, “I said fucking _leave_!”

Believe it or not, the guy had the guts to try yet another kiss with Dean, but this time he was mad enough to shove Michael away so hard, that he stumbled over the threshold. And this was the point where Dean went wrong. Because, instead of giving another punch right after the first one when Michael was still stunned and unprepared for it, he reached for the door again, wanting to slam it into his face, but before he could, a large and strong hand locked around his wrist as Michael rumbled, “No, you don’t get it!”

As Dean tried to withdraw, Michael simultaneously stepped inside the apartment again, flinging the blonde around with his other hand clamping down around his neck way too harsh and slamming him into the wall right next to the door with all his might. Dean’s head connected with the wall in a sickening banging noise, feeling all his strength leaving his body at once, and he suddenly had a hard time keeping his eyes open, let alone see at all with the black creeping in from the corners of his vision. But his drooping eyes didn’t distract him from the searing pain exploding at the back of his head or the way he was struggling for air as Michael’s palm tightened around his windpipe as he panted into his face with an intense gaze. He had half a mind to feel something wet where his head felt almost numb before Michael used his rigidity and shocked state to kiss him again, easily moving his lips now that Dean didn’t have any strength to fight the intrusion.

The man didn’t seem to notice that Dean was completely unresponsive as he kissed down his neck open-mouthed and slurred, “I need you… Dean…” his hand still keeping Dean pressed to the wall where it was locked around his neck.

He didn’t know what was worse – the horrendous stabbing pain in his head, the fact that he literally had no strength and that he was only still upright because of Michael, the way the Dom fumbled with his belt, or that Dean was unable to fight or move or do _anything_ against this truly fucked situation. “I’ll make ya stay… I’ve always liked you… so pretty…”

If he hadn’t been so concentrated on staying conscious, which was getting harder with each passing second as the loud beeping sound in his head got shriller and more painful, Dean would have freaked out about the fact that Michael was now slowly sliding his hand into Dean’s briefs. He registered a few words but his mind was too foggy to make them out and then he had about a moment to realize the hand keeping him against the wall was gone before the world tipped and he slumped forward as his legs gave out underneath him. Michael must have caught him, though, because he didn’t hit the floor as expected. But that was about everything his mind could comprehend at that moment and when his eyes fell closed – or maybe they didn’t – it was impossible to open them again.

Dean merely savored this moment of pure silence except for that tinnitus going strong and tried to smile as, for the first time in almost a month, he couldn’t hear that freaking voice inside his head – unaware of the fact that he had a bad concussion and was currently bleeding out of the wound in his head where it connected with the door guard next to the door frame as Michael called an ambulance.

There was a moment of complete stillness as Dean began to wake up, feeling oddly free of any pain or all the other things that usually bugged him 24/7. It was weird. And when he opened his eyes and blinked at the pale walls of the room, he wondered if he was dreaming. But then it all came crushing back like a damn freight train, nearly knocking Dean out again. The pain, his thoughts, memories of what happened, just _everything_. And he groaned as that dull ache in his head had white spots dancing in front of his eyes. This was going to be one Hell of a headache and Dean wasn’t looking forward to spending 25 hours in a car with that hassle.

Another groan left his throat when he scrambled to sit up, trying to let his head adjust to the new position, and he suddenly heard a door being opened and closed. Then, a male nurse was occupying his vision and he gave Dean a small, reassuring smile before saying, “Welcome back, sunshine. How are you feeling?”

Huffing a breath, Dean answered, “Fucking peachy,” his voice laced with sarcasm. “So, what’s up? Can I leave?”

“First of all, you’ve got a pretty serious concussion and we had to take care of your wound. We have been checking up on you every few hours and it’s save to say that you’re going to be fine. There will be no long term consequences and your brain is fine. It’s important, though, that you try to keep it easy for a while, maybe don’t strain yourself too much or you’ll be needing more of the pain meds the doc prescribed you,” the nurse said, checking his vitals.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Dean mumbled, looking about the room to search for a clock, “Hours? I’ve been here for hours? What time is it?”

“That’s all you've taken from this?” There was an amused smile tugging at the guy’s mouth as he pulled back his sleeve and checked his watch. “It’s two past seven.”

“In the morning…?” Dean asked carefully, speaking his thoughts out loud.

“Yes, you’ve been brought in to the hospital last night, around 10,” the nurse informed with a frown and Dean’s mind wandered off to what had happened the night before. “What’s the year again?”

Setting his expression into a bitch-face, Dean stated flatly, “I know what year it is, I’m not dumb.”

“I’m not asking because I think you’re stupid, I’m asking to make sure you’re truly okay.”

With a sigh, Dean leaned forward and sat up even straighter. “Believe me, I know what year it is, I had like the best night celebrating its start. I may have been knocked out for a while, but it’s not _that_ bad. So…, am I free to go?”

Chuckling, the nurse said, “I think it’s still my decision if you’re okay or not, but yes, Mr Winchester, since you’re over 21 and out of any danger, you can go whenever you please.”

“Awesome,” Dean mumbled, swinging his legs over the mattress to place his feet on the floor. He had to close his eyes at the impact of the headache on his body at the motion and he managed to press out a “will do” past his clenched teeth to answer the nurse’s call to “take it easy and not forget your medication.”

When he heard the door close, Dean opened his eyes and groaned again, whispering, “fuck.” He only then realized that he wasn’t alone in the room and as he caught movement out of his peripheral vision, so Dean turned his head to see Michael leave his spot in one of the chairs and walk towards him. His first instinct was to jump into a defensive stance and growl at him.

“Get away from me, Michael,” his voice was low and dangerous, his eyes hard.

The man looked terrible, even worse than last night, with his eyes red and dark circles underneath. There was blood on his shirt and hands – probably Dean’s – with which he scrubbed his face in an exhausted gesture. His voice sounded miserable and pleading when he said, “Dean, I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t– God, I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m so sorry, I–”

“Stay where you are.” He reached his hand out towards Michael to signalize that he didn’t want the man to come any closer to him as he was already standing at the foot of the bed.

“Please, believe me, I didn’t want this to happen…”

Gulping loudly, Dean had to fight his voice from trembling as he started to tear up like some freaking wimp. “Stop fucking apologizing, Michael. Just tell me one thing,” he swallowed down a whole new kind of nausea as the thought crossed his mind, lowering his hand to hide it was shaking, “Did you do it?” His voice was oddly void of any emotion, just low and rough.

At first, Michael met his eyes with questioning ones, not knowing what Dean was asking, before, a moment later, pure horror crossed his features and he assured, “No! No, God, no I didn’t!” As if he hadn’t tried and succeeded kissing Dean without permission, as if he hadn’t used Dean’s inability to fight back to open his pants and slide a hand into his underwear to touch his most private parts. As if he hadn’t been close to freaking raping Dean – someone he’d known for almost two years. “I swear I didn’t. I’m so sorry, truly.”

“If you’re really sorry,” Dean started, staring at Michael with emotionless and cold eyes, trying to put all his hate and anger and disgust into his gaze and voice when he demanded, “then leave.”

Without another word, he did. Michael set his jaw and turned around, walking out of the room and allowing Dean to finally breathe again. He dropped down onto the bed and took a few steadying breaths, trying to get his emotions under control again while taking a look around the room, searching for his clothes. Once his gaze landed on the stack on the table, Dean stood once again and took off that awful hospital gown, feeling way too vulnerable with his backside on display for everyone.

When he pulled on his jeans and shirt, which were completely ruined with blood, Dean noticed that Michael had at least been smart enough to stuff his keys into his pocket, and he hurried to take on his shoes even though his head seemed to explode as he bent down to do just that.

After he was fully dressed, he set his mind on getting to California to keep his thoughts away from what had happened and got the fuck out of that hospital.

Once out, Dean had to catch a cab and tell the driver to wait in front of his place so he could grab some money. When he entered the apartment, the first thing he saw was the bloodstain on the wall and he cursed at having to go buy some white paint now to cover that up, wasting even more time than he already had. At least he’d gotten some sleep in the hospital…

After he paid the driver, he sat down behind his own steering wheel and drove to a Home Depot to get some paint, returning to his place twenty minutes later.

It took about three layers to finally cover it up and by the time he had deposited the paint can and all that stuff, collected the last of his things, and brought them into his Baby, then went back upstairs to check if he was ready to go and grabbed his abandoned phone to check the time, it was another twenty minutes later and there were a ton of missed calls and worried texts from Cas and Jimmy, even Sam.

Sighing, he tipped off a hurried text to Jimmy, assuring him that he was on his way before pocketing his cell and leaving the apartment. He threw the keys into the mail as he was told to and got into the driver’s seat, turning the key and closing his eyes to calm himself down as he listened to his Baby roar to life beneath him. After a moment, he collected enough strength to open his eyes again and flicked on the radio before deciding that he wanted to put in a tape and rummaged around the globe department for his favorite one. When he found it, he let out a triumphant noise and smiled as he pressed play and the relaxing sound of a guitar blasted through his car, turning up the volume to drown out his thoughts.

Then, Dean put his Baby into gear, shifting into drive as it purred beautifully, and headed off, driving away from his old life and leaving his past behind where it belonged.

Once he hit the road and crossed the border, accelerating with perhaps more gusto than was necessary, Dean finally felt like he could breathe again and it was as if some kind of weight got lifted off of his chest.

It felt freaking awesome.

> **_> > Im fine. something came up that i had to take care of first. i swear im fine and on my way. can’t wait to c ya <3 _ **
> 
> **_> > I’ll call when i stop for a break ;)_ **

Walking into the living room, Jimmy reached out his cell phone to Castiel and said, “He finally answered!”

Letting out a relieved sigh, he tried to calm his wildly beating heart as he watched his twin grab the phone and read it over and over again. The worry that had been written in Cas’ features since this morning finally smoothed out and he took in a long breath. “Thank God,” he whispered, his eyes still focused on the text.

For almost three hours, Cas and Jimmy had been worried sick about Dean, constantly trying to call him or waiting for a reply to their messages. Castiel barely even managed to keep his tears at bay when they had called Sam an hour ago to inform him of his brother’s lack of response. Jimmy knew he had been going through Hell, his mind making up scenarios of what could have happened. They all have. Especially the fear of Dean’s depression having gotten the best of him while they were so far away from him had them all jittery and concerned to the point where they hadn’t even had the nerves to eat breakfast.

Although the text Dean sent neither explained what happened nor made them feel any less worried about why he hadn’t responded, now they knew he was okay and on his way. And it at least quelled their worries and fear enough to make breathing a little less hard.

Castiel started tipping off a reply and Jimmy sat down next to him, reading his text that said:

> **_< < We will talk about this when you arrive, but for now, make sure you come here safely and give us a call once you take your break in a motel. We miss you <3_ **

When he closed the chat, Cas handed back the phone to him and Jimmy put it into the back pocket of his pants, meeting Castiel’s eyes. “He scared me, Jimmy…” he admitted after a moment of silence, his expression honest and worried.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “me too.”

“Once he arrives, we won’t ever have to be apart from him for so long. I can’t wait to hold him in my arms again.”

With a small smile, Jimmy said, “I can’t wait to kiss him again and I want to see his expression when we show him this place… our new home.”

Chuckling, Cas mused, “He probably won’t get out of that bathtub for a week,” making Jimmy laugh slightly.

Astoundingly, the two of them have managed to get it all done the day before. Of course, they’ve had some help from a few friends, and Sam and Jessica setting up the furniture, – even though they’ve also been moving in together at the same time – especially the gigantic couch in the living space they were currently sitting on and the bed upstairs. And while Sam and Cas had gone shopping for toiletries and groceries and that stuff, Jessica had helped Jimmy decorate their knew apartment to make it more comfortable. It was amazing how much help they’ve had and how fast they managed to get it all done for Dean’s arrival.

A day after they had come back home, Cas and Jimmy had had their viewing of the apartment and decided that they wanted this place right away before wasting time looking at other places since this one was everything they wanted. Jessica and Sam had walked in with their jaws dropped open the day they invited them to take a look at it and Castiel and Jimmy knew they had made the right decision.

The twins had gotten rid of almost all of their old furniture, except for Cas’ washing and drying machines and coffee table, Jimmy’s kitchen chairs, and small things like rugs or plants. Of course, they had kept dishes, cutlery and towels, and other useful things as well as all their personal stuff – clothes, vinyl, DVDs, posters, photos, books, laptops, play consoles, Jimmy’s art utensils, and artworks, and Castiel’s working documents, toys, and other BDSM equipment – though he’d gotten rid off most of it, wanting to buy new ones only for Dean. And they had bought a new, bigger flat screen since their living space was huge.

They couldn’t wait to have Dean move in with them. Into their shared home.

It all still seemed like a wonderful dream rather than reality.

Dean had called about 9 pm and they had talked for almost an hour until Castiel decided that their boyfriend should get some sleep so that he could be up early in the morning and drive the last miles to California.

Because they didn’t want to upset Dean, the two of them hadn’t tried to ask him about what had happened this morning, merely asked if he was alright and talked about what they wanted to do with him first, once he arrived. They had told Dean the location of the place they would meet him the next day and informed him that Sam and Jessica would visit them a in a few days, to let them all ‘adjust’.

Now, they were waiting at exactly that location to pick up their boyfriend since Dean had sent them a text saying that he was about 15 minutes away, ten minutes ago.

To say Jimmy was excited was an understatement and he couldn’t keep his legs still while he waited for Dean’s car to appear in front of them. Cas didn’t seem to be any better, judging by the way he kept checking his watch every five seconds. They truly were two love-sick puppies…

But Jimmy didn’t mind at all.

He hated waiting, though, and the seven minutes they stood there waiting for Dean to finally park in front of them seemed like hours. Once it did, Jimmy knew the time had been worth waiting for, though, and a bright smile broke out across his face, his heart wild inside his chest.

When the creaking of the door indicated that Dean was getting out of his car, Cas and Jimmy automatically took a few steps towards him and when their boyfriend ducked his head out of the car, his hair a sandy brown mop of mess, before placing his feet on the cement and straightening his back, Jimmy could feel his heart swell, especially so as those impossibly green eyes met his own. For a moment, he was overcome with such overwhelming desire for Dean, that his heart skipped a beat and his face hurt with the happy smile gracing his lips.

Cas was the first to close the space between them and he was on Dean as if they hadn’t seen each other for years, kissing the blonde and pressing their bodies together and hugging him close as if to reassure himself that he was really there. Once they parted and Castiel stepped aside to grant him access as well, Jimmy took the few steps left between them and tasted that breathtaking smile on Dean’s lips like he was starving for it.

Kissing Dean was as easy as breathing and Jimmy felt like he needed it as much as he needed to fill his lungs, but no matter how much they protested, he didn’t part from Dean until he started to feel lightheaded. Though when he did, his eyes immediately fell upon the dark circles underneath Dean’s, and it was like a shock to him to see the way his shoulders were slumped and how tired he looked. Now his chest hurt with the desire to protect and love him, to make that fatigue go away.

Next to Jimmy, Castiel placed a cautious hand on Dean’s shoulder and met his gaze with concerned eyes, asking, “What happened that morning?”

Shrugging, Dean said, “Nothing,” and gave them a small smile before starting to walk towards the car’s trunk to open it. Inside of it were a few boxes filled with his clothes and personal stuff and Jimmy wondered if that was everything he brought because it didn’t seem like much. When Dean bent down to grab one of the four boxes, he let out a hiss at the same time as Jimmy noticed the small bandage on the back of his head and he felt like his heart was in his throat.

All he could say was, “You’re lying.”

Carefully, Dean straightened in front of them again and looked at them with an exhausted expression as Castiel took his hand and pulled him into his body, slowly. “What happened?”

“I told you already – nothing. Now, shall we go see our new home which I’ve been wanting to see for weeks or are you gonna stay here and ask questions?”

Avoiding their boyfriend’s question, Jimmy demanded, “Stop saying that nothing happened, Dean, you’re hurt.”

With a softer and quieter voice, Castiel asked, “Why do you feel the need to lie to us? Please know that we would never judge you, regardless of what happened. We’ve been worried sick yesterday, I felt uneasy and I was so concerned that everything I could think about was what could have happened to you. So please, don’t deny the obvious.”

And just like that, it was like a dam had broken and Dean let out a sigh at the same time as he slumped his shoulders even more, letting go of whatever held him back from pretending he was fine. His expression was tired and when he looked at them, there was even some shame written in his eyes. “I didn’t lie because it didn’t happen last morning. Right after you called, Cas, Michael came by and wanted me to stay. But he was drunk and he tried some things, so I pushed him away which made him angry and he accidentally pushed me against the wall where I hit my head.”

Next to him, Cas took in a sharp breath, curling his hands into fists at his side, and Jimmy had to keep his own anger under control at hearing this, the words pressing past his clenched teeth, “You don’t accidentally push someone against a wall, Dean, what did he try?”

“He tried to kiss me, nothing bad, but he was insistent and I told him to leave and that I didn’t want him like this. He just didn’t listen and it was my fault anyway,” how Dean always managed to make himself the bad guy and at fault for everything was beyond Jimmy, “I pissed him off and he got mad so he tried again before slamming me against the wall. It wasn’t his fault that I hit my head on the door guard and started bleeding, he even called an ambulance when I blacked out. He tried apologizing in the hospital after I woke up but I told him to leave, that’s why I didn’t answer any of your calls that morning.”

Jimmy swallowed down his bubbling anger with a loud gulping sound and Castiel clenched his jaw as he breathed out, “Open your jacket, you never wear it closed,” his voice flat and low.

“Cas–”

“Just do it, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes widened at the tone Castiel used for that order and he obeyed, opening his old leather jacket and revealing his beautiful neck, which, to the twins’ utter shock, had a dark and angry bruise in the shape of a hand, the imprints of fingertips and a thumb clearly visible at the sides. Jimmy watched Dean’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly with the attention given to him and wondered if it hurt. He hoped it looked worse than it actually was.

When Cas spoke again, his voice was quiet and rough with emotion, “What else did he try?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not stupid, Dean. Last night, you didn’t want to end the call to keep talking to us. With a concussion and the headache that comes with it, I can’t really imagine that you wanted to talk to us because you missed our voices so much – especially since we called everyday. You wanted to keep your head off of something, _tell me._ ” This protective side was something that Jimmy hadn’t ever seen of his twin, it was completely new and it also had him wondering if this was truly Cas speaking or the Dom part of him.

Dean’s ashamed expression and the way he averted his eyes said more than words and Cas closed his eyes as he let out a shaky breath. And Jimmy wasn’t stupid either, he knew what this meant. That fucking bastard tried to rape him and he never felt such overwhelming need and desire to feel someone’s throat underneath his squeezing hands and watch as that someone’s life slowly died out while they struggled for air.

Almost whispering, Dean said, “He– he didn’t. I asked, he didn’t and I believe him. He was drunk but… but not _this_ drunk. The guy’s known me for almost two years and I know he couldn’t’ve done it.” When he lifted his head to look at them, his eyes were glistening with unshed tears and Castiel was fast to wrap him into his arms. Jimmy followed and embraced him as well, feeling Dean’s body wrack with silent sobs as he seemed to finally register what almost happened.

It broke Jimmy’s heart into pieces and Michael could be glad that they were miles apart because, if they wouldn’t be, Jimmy and Cas would’ve stopped by his place and made sure that he wouldn’t leave the hospital for a while.

He had never hated a person more in his entire life.

But he also never loved a person as much as he loved Dean and he was so unbelievably glad that he was finally here, with them. Castiel and Jimmy could finally take care of Dean and give him the life he deserved.

After they had all calmed down again, each of them grabbed a box from the trunk – Jimmy took two – and led Dean to their new home. Jimmy had never been this excited about seeing someone’s expression but the way Dean’s face had lit up like a child’s at Christmas or New Year’s Eve as soon as they stepped inside and saw their new panorama view in the living space, was everything to Jimmy. That sight had even made him forget about what had happened to their boyfriend two nights ago and he could enjoy showing Dean around.

Their living space was huge and it was an open concept with living space and kitchen in one. The kitchen was the first thing Dean saw when they had entered their apartment because it was right next to the front door on the left side. The counter with the stove and cabinets underneath were placed against the wall, above it were typical cabinets and an extractor hood. There was a kitchen island with a sink and three chairs and in front of the small space of wall right next to the door was the fridge beside the big floor-to-ceiling window which was between the front door and fridge, facing the open space leading to their apartment. Dividing the kitchen from the living space was the long dining table after which the wall on the left side of the room gave over to the floor-to-ceiling window front as well as the panorama front opposite of their front door at the far end of the space.

Since the apartment was on the last two floors of the building, they could overview the city and the blonde had been absolutely astounded by the view they had from their couch, which was a huge corner couch in Lumino midnight blue. On the right side of the space were the stairs and underneath, opposite of the couch, was their new flatscreen TV surrounded by shelves that had yet to be filled with Dean’s DVDs and a few books. With Jessica’s help, the two had managed to make the room seem ‘friendlier’ with a neutral farmhouse rug and a beige Brasilia chaise lounge chair, a floor lamp, and a fiddle leaf fig. Jimmy was glad that they had Cas to care for all the plants because he knew that, if he was to take care of them, they wouldn’t survive two weeks.

On the right side of the door was a small bathroom with a shower, sink, toilet, and washer and dryer, which would be used mostly for guests since the main bathroom was upstairs.

After Dean had calmed down from his amazement of the view, he had walked back into the kitchen and started to list all the things he would cook and bake first in it. When the twins had managed to get his attention back and redirect it towards the stairs, Dean’s eyes had almost bugged out, asking “You’re saying we live in an apartment with two floors?” and Jimmy and Cas merely took his hands and tugged him up the stairs, grinning as they showed Dean their main bathroom. It had two doors leading into it, one from the hallway upstairs, the second one directly from their bedroom, which was a frosted sliding door without a frame. The bathroom was divided into two, one side holding the toilet and a very long bathroom sink with two faucets along the wall belonging to the shower, which was the heart of the room. It was a pass-through, walk-in rain shower with a ceiling-mounted, big shower head allowing more than three persons to stand underneath its spray. The walls and floor were made out of beautiful stone tiles and behind it – since it was also a passage leading to another, small area – was the very big, oval bathtub that Jimmy and Cas had made sure fitted three persons during their viewing. Next to the tub was a window and the space surrounding it was nice and cozy.

Upon seeing it, Dean had joked that they could have some amazing shower and bathtub sex in here and when they had guided him into their new bedroom, his mouth had dropped open and they couldn’t keep from chuckling.

The room’s outer walls were floor-to-ceiling windows just like the ones in the living space, leaving only one wall that wasn’t made of glass. The room had three round beams, one on each side of their bed, which was also round and so huge, that they would never have problems fitting in it together anymore. Cas had ceiling anchors for suspension rigging installed by a professional and already mounted thick and strong rope and suspension rings to them – he had told Jimmy the night before how excited he was to talk to Dean about this. The other beam was almost at the other end of the room.

At the side opposite of the long window front was another small window facing their patio – “Yes, we have one too, Dean” – right next to their bed so they would also always have a bit of green when looking out of it since Cas had suggested they plant some vegetables and flowers on it and Dean had found the idea very nice. With that, their bed was completely surrounded by windows, only adorned with a small nightstand shelf in front of each beam stacked with books and the typical stuff one keeps close to the bed in their drawers. A few meters away from the foot end of the bed followed two chests of drawers, placed in a way that their drawers faced each other but far enough apart to allow free movement within the space and to open their drawers containing their personal stuff and BDSM equipment. On top of them were small room plants like a peace lily, devil’s ivy, and a heart-leaf philodendron, as well as candles in various shapes, colors, sizes, and scents since Jessica had told Jimmy that it would make the room cozier. The backside of the last dresser functioned as a small wall to divide the sleeping area from the other part of the room which was decorated with a big Persian rug that brought some color into the otherwise bright and plain white room. At the wall between the door leading into the hallway and the one to their bathroom was another, smaller dresser for other stuff, also decorated with pictures and a plant. They had kept the spot on the wall above it for Dean’s favorite posters and the blonde had smiled widely with fond eyes as Jimmy had told him about it, telling them that he would put his Star Wars and Led Zeppelin posters up there.

Jessica had also coaxed them into buying a Kenya hanging chair that had been installed on the ceiling and was now hanging in front of the dresser’s backside and facing the windows at the far end of the room since Jess had said that chaise lounges, loveseats, or the likes would look odd in this room. Next to it were two, beige floor cushions and a storage shelf for all their vinyl records with Jimmy’s old player on top of it.

In the corner of the room, where there was only glass, was another shelf filled with a few books and behind it, a bigger plant called Bird of Paradise, if Jimmy remembered correctly. Next to it was already the sliding door for their roof terrace and when Cas had opened it to show Dean the sunbeds they had bought for it, the blonde had practically been over the moon, not able to stop standing there and looking around in amazement.

There was another room next to the bathroom which was only accessible from either their bedroom or over the roof terrace through another set of sliding doors. It was a smaller one with a small walk-in closet for all their clothes at the end of the room and it was being used as Jimmy’s art studio as well as Castiel’s office if they ever needed it. 

The small hallway was open to downstairs but there was a waist-level wall to ensure that no one accidentally fell down there and when they walked up the stairs, they were facing the sliding door to the patio.

Once they had been done with their tour around, Dean couldn’t stop complimenting them and saying how “fucking awesome” this all was. He had told them that this place was the nicest thing he ever saw and had asked more than a dozen times if they could really effort this all since he felt like some rich guy moving into his new luxurious loft. But Jimmy and Cas had told him about the rental costs for it, even though Dean didn’t seem to believe them, and assured that it was still in their price range, even if it seemed otherwise. They had, to be perfectly honest, made a freaking awesome deal with this place because they would never find something this nice for the same price again.

After Dean had thanked them and said that he couldn’t imagine ever moving out of this and then thanked them again and again, he had started attacking them with kisses and made out with them for so long, that they had felt lightheaded and breathless afterward. Dean truly knew how to kiss them senseless and this, plus the fact that he was moving in with them and assured them to stay, was really all the thanks they needed.

Their boyfriend’s child-like excitement had rubbed off on Jimmy and Castiel as well and after they had gone back down to collect the last boxes filled with DVDs and other stuff from Dean’s car, brought it back upstairs, and put everything into their right places – his clothes next to theirs in the closet, his underwear in his own drawers, toys added to the ones Cas already had, photos placed on dressers, posters put up on the wall, DVDs and books stacked into the shelves surrounding the TV and whatever else they put away – the three of them had been so tired, that they took a nap together in their huge and super comfortable bed to restore some energy.

Castiel was the first one to wake up again, and for a few minutes, he merely watched Dean and the way he smiled in his sleep. The blonde looked peaceful and younger now, and if it wasn’t for the dark bruises around his beautiful and long neck, Cas would’ve said he also looked the healthiest when asleep. That was not to say that Dean didn’t look healthy when he was conscious, there was just nothing from his past weighing down in his shoulders to make him look tired like this.

After a while, though, Castiel couldn’t keep from reaching out a hand and caressing his cheek slightly, smiling down on him with fond and loving eyes. Jimmy was spooning Dean and one arm was wrapped around his middle, his hand resting on their boyfriend’s chest. They were all still fully clothed since they merely wanted to take a nap, so Cas wasn’t able to make sure if the rest of Dean’s body looked fine. He hoped that it did, just as much as he hoped that the bruise around his neck would fade soon and that it didn’t hurt. Even if Dean had told them that it didn’t, they couldn’t be sure. His voice had always been a bit rough and the word ‘fine’ was not to take seriously when it was said by Dean.

When the two began to stir and Dean blinked open his eyes with a slight groan, stretching his legs, Castiel sat up straight and watched them reorient themselves. While the blonde couldn’t wait to get into an upright position and take a look at their new view – which Cas hadn't paid any attention to even once since he had woken up – Jimmy seemed to be unable to let go and made a displeased noise as his arm slid down Dean’s torso, landing in his lap.

“You been watching me sleep again?” Dean asked when their eyes met, smiling knowingly.

Behind him, Jimmy sat up straight as well and wrapped both his arms around Dean once more, pressing him back against his chest and resting his chin on his shoulder to look at Cas and whisper, “He does that.”

Chuckling, Dean said, “Yeah? You know what, sometimes, you hump me during sleep. Well, you only do that when you’re spooning me, when Cas spoons me and I face you, you’re not doing it. As if your dick knows that my ass is always there for the taking…” Jimmy buried his face in their boyfriend’s neck to hide his embarrassment and the way his face blushed at being called out, while Castiel couldn’t stop himself from laughing at that.

Jimmy tried to defend his actions by mumbling, “It just feels too good to press up into your ass, clothed or not. If it bothers you, though, tell me. Then we’ll make sure that only Cas ever spoons you.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Dean assured, grinning amused as Jimmy pressed wet kisses into the skin of the crook of his neck, mindful of the bruises. “It doesn’t disturb my sleep and I like it, you know, makes me feel wanted. I only feel you do it when I’m waking up.” Another kiss was pressed into his skin before Jimmy rested his chin on Dean’s shoulder once more and smiled softly.

“You’re always wanted, Dean,” Cas said, taking his hand and caressing its skin as he locked his eyes on Dean’s. “We will always want you.”

There was a small, almost shy, smile gracing Dean’s lips and Castiel grinned. Then, the blonde looked back out of the windows, saying, “I still can’t believe this is ours. It’s so freaking perfect. Just like you two.” His words made them look at Dean with intense eyes before Jimmy started kissing the long line of his neck again and Cas leaned in to press their lips together.

Being able to kiss Dean again was thrilling, and every time Cas’ tongue brushed against Dean’s, it felt like an electric shock to his system, in a positive way. Between kisses and tongues seeking each other out, Dean breathed out, “What are… the… those rings for…?” and Castiel parted from him with a wide grin at the same time as Jimmy stopped kissing Dean and gazed at him before looking at the two small steel rings at the foot of their bed. Another two were secured at the other end of the bed.

“These are anchor points since our bed frame doesn’t have any natural ones to tie you to. And under-mattress restraints wouldn’t do for such a huge bed,” Cas explained, already imagining the blonde tied up to the bed, in a spreadeagle position, with rope around his wrists and ankles, and he smiled in anticipation.

“That’s a nice new feature to our bed and I really like the idea, Cas,” he said, meeting Castiel’s eyes with his deep and vibrant green ones. “And what about that?” he asked, looking at the ceiling above them and pointing at it with his finger, “I’ve seen this before only once. When I watched a public scene where the Sub got suspended.”

“Well, that is exactly what you use it for.”

Frowning, Dean met his eyes again and said, “But we can’t use it unless we hire a professional.”

With a small smile, Cas grabbed Dean’s hand in his own again, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips before whispering, “I _am_ a professional.”

When their gazes locked after that, Dean’s eyes were wide and dark and he swallowed thickly while shifting his hips slightly, Castiel followed the bob of his Adam’s apple with intense eyes and waited for an answer. He so hoped that Dean would want to try this with him.

“You’re a Rigger?” His voice was breathless and, if Cas got it right, hopeful. “How?”

“I was trained by a very talented one years ago and I have been practicing it ever since. While I do Japanese Bondage because I truly admire the art of Kinbaku and Shibari, I mainly concentrate on suspension works. But I know that we haven’t talked about it, yet, so I understand if this needs some time to be thought about.”

Smiling widely, Dean tightened his grip around Castiel’s hand and squeezed once, cheerily. “That’s awesome!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to try more than bondage, you know. Watching those people get tied up and lifted into the air… I just never trusted anyone with that. But I trust you two,” Dean said, grinning. “How did you get trained?”

“He was a Dom as well and told me that I could only be a good Rigger if I knew how it felt, how a Submissive would feel. So, he showed me specific knots and ways to suspend people on myself first and I experienced it like a Sub would before doing the tying and knotting. It was truly helpful because I could judge if the rope was too tight or sat uncomfortably and how long the Submissive could stay in a certain position,” Castiel explained as Dean and Jimmy listened intently.

“Woah, I can’t really imagine you as a Sub… how’d it feel?”

“It was okay, I guess, but it was also the most difficult thing I ever did in my life because I gave over my control completely and at first, I struggled to stop breaking up the session before it even started. I have never again used my safeword as much as I did during that time.” Cas remembered it all still perfectly clear and he felt some sort of phantom pain or fear at the mere thought of being suspended instead of doing the suspending. “That’s why I think you’re so amazing, Dean. I admire the strength that comes from a Submissive and they have, up until now, always been the strongest people I’ve known. It’s a great and very intimate honor that you’d trust us with something like this.”

Dean met his eyes sincerely and smiled happily, saying, “As long as the ceiling can hold my weight…”

“I’ve asked if the realtor knew anything about it when she showed us around and she had been so friendly to inquire about it and sent us an email afterward, confirming that it was safe to install a hanging chair. So this is safe and I’ve even tested if it could hold my weight after we installed it. And it does, perfectly fine,” Cas assured with a bright smile. He was just so unbelievably happy about the fact that Dean would want to try suspension with them and he couldn’t wait to learn what else Dean liked. Thinking about it, Castiel didn’t find any reason why they should wait any longer with that than they already have, since they lived together and all things preventing them from having a BDSM relationship were gone.

As if knowing what Cas was thinking about, Jimmy suggested, “Why don’t we talk about that now? You told me that we’d need something like a checklist for Dean, we have nothing left to wait for.”

“Jimmy’s right,” Dean chimed in, his voice light and content, “I’ve been wanting you as my Dom from the moment you told me about yourself that night.” Turning to Jimmy, he said, “And I’d really like the idea of you being my second Dom, or even if you don’t want that, I’d love for you to participate in some way.”

Grinning, Jimmy stood up and reached for Dean’s hands to tug him off of the bed and help him stand as well, turning around and watching Castiel with expectant eyes, who started chuckling and left the bed, too. “You’re eager,” he noticed, raising a suspicious brow at his twin.

The only answer he received was a smile before he opened the door and practically dragged Dean out of the room and downstairs. The blonde chuckled and craned his neck to watch over his shoulder and meet Cas’ eyes with a small laugh, whispering, “Someone wants to be my Dom…”

And so they grabbed a few pens, a laptop, and paper and sat down in the living space, printing a copy of the checklist Castiel usually took for this occasion and starting to read it over, all on their own. Occasionally, Dean and Cas had to explain a specific word to Jimmy and so they let him take his time, asking if he knew what everything meant and correcting him if he assumed something else.

After a while, Jimmy had worked through the list and already crossed out things he could never imagine doing and the two watched him patiently.

“Okay, I still have some words I’m not familiar with, at least in that context. Asphyxiation, Necrophilia fantasy, Infantilism, Serving, and _Figging_ …?” Jimmy let his eyes drift from the paper in front of him to Dean and Cas.

“Asphyxiation is deprivation of oxygen through choking or other stuff to get off on. Infantilism is just creepy… the mere idea of someone getting off on the fact that they’re fucking a child is one of the biggest ‘No’s with a capital N. It’s practically a Sub dressing up and behaving like an infant either because it turns them on or their Dom. Sometimes even with diapers and the whole deal,” Dean explained, shaking his head in disgust and Castiel had to agree that he never understood why people thought this was erotic.

“Necrophilia fantasies are just as dubious,” Cas started, meeting Jimmy’s eyes, “It’s a fantasy where the Submissive represents a corpse and the Dom takes their pleasure from a ‘dead’ person.”

He watched as Jimmy frowned upon that questionable fantasy and shook his head, crossing all three things from his list. “Alright. And serving? I mean, I can imagine what it means but what do you do?”

“There are different ways to serve a Dom, it can be sexually, it can be normal things like bringing food or drinks like a butler but it can also be very specific things that I also never understood the idea of. And to be honest, I don’t want to understand because it’s something I never want to try.”

“Like what?”

Shrugging slightly, Cas said, “Serving as a toilet or ashtray or even furniture.”

At that, Jimmy scrunched his nose in disgust and nodded, and Dean assured, “Don’t worry, I don’t wanna try that stuff either. I want to be treated as a human and nothing else. And Figging, that’s the most hurtful shit I’ve ever tried. I mean, I like a certain amount of pain, but that was the nasty, unpleasant kind…”

He shook his whole body as if a cold shiver ran down his spine at the memory and Castiel frowned, asking, “You tried that once? Why?”

“Yeah, as light punishment. Turned out it wasn’t so light. It burned like Hell and, you know, the best part about sex is enjoying yourself, so, of course, I didn’t enjoy sex after that. Never again.”

“What is it then?” Jimmy asked, crossing this one from his list as well.

“Oh, it’s uh, using a skinned ginger root as a plug so your entire ass burns like it’s on fire.”

Frowning, Jimmy questioned, “Why would you do that?”

“As punishment but there are way more effective and enjoyable ones out there.” At Jimmy’s and Cas’ questioning gazes – since Castiel wanted to know this as well to get to know what their boyfriend liked –, Dean said, “Well, like spanking, flogging, cold enemas, cock cages, orgasm denial or non-sexual punishments like forbidding favorite food for some time or whatever.”

That was very good to know because Castiel liked to fall back on the punishments mentioned by Dean and Jimmy seemed to find the sound of that better as the things they talked about before as well, judging by the way his features relaxed. “And you like that? Being hurt? Or deprived of something?” His eyes flicked down to Dean’s neck with a slightly worried expression, and Cas knew what his twin was thinking about.

“I like to be hurt to a certain amount. Just enough to keep me guessing and on solid ground. But I prefer if it doesn’t leave marks unless they’re hickeys or the imprints of your fingers or scratches of your nails or stuff. Rope burns are nice too. Or a red ass after spanking. But yes, that stuff is fine with me. As for deprivation or denials or the likes… while I’m being deprived of something during a scene, I may seem like I don’t enjoy it, but it’s worth it, you know. Because I get all worked up and with all that anticipation, it’s so much better and more intense once I get it again. Sometimes, it really blows my mind off when I didn’t get to come for a day and then, once I’m allowed to again, it’s the best feeling in the world.”

Nodding, Jimmy said, “Okay, yeah, that’s reasonable. I get that and I think watching it would be nice. But the other stuff, that– that we talked about before, like Figging and serving as furniture or being cut with knives, that’s just insane.”

“If you’d like, I can tell you what I like to do and what I’d be willing to do with you, so you know what you’re getting into.”

“Yeah,” Jimmy breathed out, nodding once more, “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

Taking the list, Dean concentrated on the words written down on it and Cas watched as their boyfriend went through all of them once again before meeting their eyes and saying, “Okay, I’ll just list everything that isn’t a hard limit or something I don’t ever wanna do and afterward, I can tell you what’s most important for me and what I like to do.” At their mutual nodding, Dean listed, “Anal hooks, sex and plugs, asphyxiation, ball stretching, bathroom use control, soft beating, blindfolds, bondage, breast or chest bondage, breath control,” smiling cheekily, Dean continued, “Breeding, bruises, caning, chains, choking, chores, cock milking, rings, whipping and worship, collars, crops and riding crops, cuffs, dildos, discipline, double penetration – only with a toy as second dick – edging, enemas, face fucking and slapping, fellatio, flogging, following orders, forced masturbation and nudity, frottage, gags, genital sex, hair pulling – I fucking love that – hand jobs, harnessing, giving and receiving head, ice cubes, immobilization, impact play, intricate bondage, Japanese bondage, kneeling, leather restraints, lectures for misbehavior, lingerie wearing – only panties though – manacles or irons, massages, medical scenes, name change, nipple clamps, play or torture and weights, oral or anal play, orgasm control or denial, outdoor scenes and sex, Over-the-knee spanking, pain, power exchange, prostate massages and milking, public exposure, punishments, rope body harnesses, scratching, sensation play, sensory deprivation, serving and serving orally, shaving, spanking, speculums, spreader bars, suspension, swallowing semen, teasing, tickling, urethral play and sounds, wax play, whipping, and wooden paddles.”

He first looked at Jimmy and then Cas, meeting their eyes and checking if they got everything. “That’s about everything. And important to me are things like pain, at least slightly. I can go without it for a few sessions but I feel better if there’s a hard slap to my thigh or ass or anything during it, or nails scraping down my back to raise the skin, that’s nice. It doesn’t always have to be real pain. And stuff like discipline, following orders and lectures when I fucked up… ah! Yes, right. Mostly, I’ll need to be spanked as punishment.”

Cas locked his gaze on Dean’s and nodded, saving the information and thinking about what else he wanted to add. Even though he wasn’t the biggest fan of giving his Subs pain, if Dean needed it, he’d do it. And he already knew that about their boyfriend, so it wasn’t a surprise to hear it.

“If there’s anything you two wanna talk about, now’s the time for that,” Dean said, putting down his list and watching them patiently.

“There is,” Castiel stated, leaning forward a bit, “About asphyxiation, chocking and breath control… these are almost hard limits for me and therefore, I don’t like doing it. I could imagine trying it with you in the future, when time is right and we know our bodies good enough to ensure a bit of safety, but I won’t do it yet. So, we can put that on the list as a soft limit, maybe?”

“Yeah, okay,” the blonde nodded. “Anything else? Jimmy?”

“I think I’m gonna let you two decide that and tell you afterwards what I’d be interested in participating, since I don’t have any experience or knowledge about that.”

Nodding, Dean directed his eyes at Cas once more and waited, so he said, “I have got a few things to add… Erotic dances, physical examinations, exercises – forced or required to keep you healthy – exhibitionism with friends, eye contact restrictions with strangers for public things, felching.”

He paused to look at Dean and see his reaction but instead of a grimace, their boyfriend watched him with parted lips in a slight smirk, commenting, “You’re kinkier than I thought.”

Smiling softly, he went on, “Forced dressing and eating as well as having food chosen for you, modeling for erotic photos, phone sex, praises, restrictive rules on behavior, rewards, skinny dipping, speech restrictions, vanilla for a change and for Jimmy and you, and wearing symbolic jewelry.” When he received an agreeing nod from Dean, Cas said, “If there are any questions, just ask them, please.”

“We’ll have to talk about that forced stuff and the rules, but so far, it’s fine with me.”

“Good. Here’s what I need: During a scene as well as afterward and in our typical daily life, I will need to praise you as much as I will need to give orders during a scene. I don’t like to degrade or humiliate you, and name-calling is fine with me as long as it’s still respectful. I won’t ever slap or beat your face to prevent reminding you of Michael. I will always need to care for you afterward, emotionally, and physically. And, but this is optional and I’ll only do it if you want to, I’d like to buy you a collar that you’ll always wear so that everyone knows you belong to us.”

There was a slight, almost shy, smile gracing Dean’s lips when he said, “I’d like that.”

“Really? You’d wear it to work and in public for us?” His voice was breathy and low and Cas tried to quell his excitement but it was hard.

“Yeah. I think that’s nice. And I like you two, so why shouldn’t I wear something that represents our relationship?”

With a wide and happy grin breaking out across his face, Castiel looked at Jimmy and saw an equally pleased and excited expression, his eyes glinting with happiness. “God, you’re the best, Dean,” Cas breathed out. This meant so much to him. No one had ever been as important to him as Dean and that gesture showed him just how reciprocated their feelings were. It said more than words could.

Lifting a finger, Dean said, “But you better choose one that’s not too girly or too wide. No posture collars. I hate when they restrict movement or when they hurt when I lay down.”

Grinning, Cas assured, “We’ll choose the perfect one for you, Dean.”

_Because you’re perfect._

After that, they continued to talk about limits and everything concerning that topic, taking notes, and starting to make a list. Once Dean and Cas were done with everything, they went through the list once more with Jimmy, telling him how certain things would work, and helped him decide if he could imagine participating in some way or not. In the end, Dean was fairly happy about the fact that Jimmy had put a cross behind so many activities that he wanted to be a part of, and once they put the list aside, they started talking about safe words, safe-signs, personalized aftercare, rules, and everything that was important to create their own ‘contract’.

The only thing that this contract didn’t include was the fact that there should be extra rules when it came to Dean’s yet unknown past and depression, so Jimmy and Cas left this part incomplete until Dean was ready to tell them about it. Castiel was sure that their boyfriend didn’t even think that it was important to be mindful of that. But it was, highly so. Because it could be a trigger during a scene – something very small that they have said or done, that reminded him of what had happened, and it could take a tall on Dean, emotionally and even physically.

It was also why Castiel was still weary to start planning heavy scenes so early and he hoped that Dean would be fine if they started slow.

After they had finished up with their list and contract, Jimmy and Cas had decided to make something to eat, even though it was past lunchtime, and suggested that Dean take a nice shower, which he did. And it was freaking amazing. The water pressure was Heaven, he had enough space to move freely and if he wanted, he could even take a few steps back and look out through the window next to the bathtub and enjoy the view. Dean felt like a king and he still couldn’t believe that this was their place.

Once he walked out of the shower, he realized that he had been in there for thirty minutes – it was the first time that he ever took such a long one – and he hurried to rummage through his underwear and pick the new pair of panties Castiel had brought him. Slipping into them, Dean sighed at the feel of this soft and satiny fabric on his skin before putting on a shirt and comfortable pants. His hair was still dripping when he walked down the stairs and grinned when he saw that Jimmy and Cas were already waiting for him at the table with their plates in front of them, the chair between them empty and another plate in the spot in front of it.

“You guys been waiting for me?” he asked as he placed a kiss to first Cas’ cheek, and then Jimmy’s before sitting down between them and making himself comfortable in his seat.

Castiel turned his body towards Dean and smiled knowingly, asking, “Was it that good?”

“Hell, yeah! That was the best fucking shower I’ve ever taken,” he said, grabbing his sandwich and taking a big bite out of it.

The twins started chuckling at his typical table manners, Jimmy mumbling, “He’ll probably end up spending more time in the new shower than with us, Cas,” and digging in as well.

With his mouth stuffed full of food, Dean argued, “That’s not true!” He barely managed to keep the sandwich in his mouth and the two laughed at him, making him smile sheepishly as his face turned red. After that, he kept his mouth shut and ate, feeling his boyfriends’ gazes on the sides of his face.

“You’re adorable, Dean,” Cas commented after a beat of silence, smiling softly.

Still blushing, Dean said, “I’m not adorable. I’m a dude, who is not at all adorable. Sneezing pets or drooling kids are adorable, but not me.” His voice was quiet and it was hard to keep the amusement out of it but he thought he managed it well, even though he was pretty sure he didn’t do half as good a job with his expression.

“You’re 26 years old and speak with your mouth filled, that’s fairly adorable. Especially when that 26-year-old tries not to lose any of the food in his mouth while trying to defend himself,” Castiel argued, grinning widely.

“Oh,” Jimmy contributed to the conversation with a smile, “and when you stuff your mouth so full of food and chew on it in a certain way, you look like a cute bunny.”

Almost choking on his bite of the sandwich as that made him laugh uncontrollably, Dean said, “Okay! That’s it. You’re not getting your surprise tonight.”

“You were going to surprise us?”

“Yes, but you jerks don’t deserve it anymore,” he stated petulantly, standing up from his spot and bringing the plate into the kitchen to place it in the sink since he already finished his lunch.

With a playful voice, Jimmy called, “We’ll be nice now,” and Dean grinned at the fact that he was able to wrap them around his finger so easily with a surprise.

And while Jimmy was the preserving one, gladly waiting for Dean to finally show his surprise when he wanted to, Castiel was rather impatient and commanding, so it was no surprise when Dean felt a body press up behind him where he still stood at the kitchen island in front of the sink, a soft pair of lips kissing along the column of his neck making his skin break out in goosebumps.

When arms wrapped around his stomach and hands were placed on his belly, Dean was a hundred percent sure that it was Castiel and he smiled cheekily. “Show us, Dean.”

Hearing that rough and gravelly voice so close to his ear had a shiver running down his spine and he let out a sigh, relaxing back into the embrace. Turning around in Castiel’s arms, Dean noticed that Jimmy was standing close to them, watching with dark eyes, and he smiled up at Cas mischievously, letting their mouths graze lightly as he leaned in and whispered, “Make me.” He gave the earlobe a playful nip and Castiel's body shuddered around him, making Dean smirk triumphantly.

“Dean,” Cas chided, the single word sending a thrill through his body and making him want to go soft and pliant under Cas’ strong and handsome body.

“It’s for both of you,” Dean informed, gazing at Jimmy before he framed the side of Castiel’s face with his right hand, his thumb stroking across his cheek. He wanted to do this right because he really meant it, so he said, “I wanted to show you how grateful I am for this; for you.” His voice was soft and loving, and Cas let his eyes slide closed when Dean lowered his head a bit and leaned forward to drag his mouth over the exposed skin of Castiel's neck, moving up to his boyfriend’s jawline before bringing their lips together in a slow kiss.

Cas held him close, his hands resting at the small of Dean’s back, and he relished this moment before breaking the kiss and slowly taking a step back from Cas. His eyes were dark with lust and Dean took his hand to lead him towards Jimmy. When he stopped in front of him, he kissed him as well, moving his lips against Jimmy’s in a deep kiss and taking his hand with his free one too. After that, Dean led them both up the stairs and into their bedroom, closing the door behind them.

Turning around, Dean smiled when he saw his boyfriends sitting on the edge of the bed and watching him intently, their eyes following every move. Slowly, but not teasingly for once, he started to take off his shirt, saying, “You know I’m not good with words and I always knew that my body was way better in expressing what I feel, so I’m just gonna _show_ you how much I want and appreciate you, without many words. It’s the only way I know how.”

He slowly flipped the button on his pants, wondering why he even chose to wear them if he knew they wouldn’t be on him for long, and dragged the zipper down, hopefully creating anticipation as each click of the teeth revealed the shiny satin beneath.

Halfway down, Castiel was the first to recognize the pair he chose to put on, and in a blink of an eye, he was on Dean, his mouth pressed to his, tongue begging for entrance and Dean opened up to him easily, kissing back with everything he had. It was wet and filthy and he writhed in Cas’ hold on him, feeling his cock start to harden between them.

Behind him, Jimmy pressed his lips to the back of his neck, his hands gripping Dean’s bared hips where his pants hung open and low. He pushed his thumbs past the waistband of the panties and dug them into his flesh as he pulled Dean back against his chest possessively, his tongue sliding across his neck, under his chin, and along the edge of his jaw.

Castiel used the space to slot a leg between Dean’s thighs, rolling his knee up hard and drawing out a moan from Dean. Their bodies were now a solid line against his and he loved the attention he was given. By now, his dick was hard and insistent against Castiel's hip and when Jimmy gripped his chin to break the kiss between Cas and Dean to turn his face towards his own and crush their lips together in a bruising kiss, Dean thought that his knees were going to be weak. Now Cas’ lips were insistent and wet on his neck and after a while, Dean realized that he was placing kisses on top of the bruises at the same time as he rolled his hips into Dean and Jimmy slid his hand into his panties to take him into his hand.

Dean moaned at the sudden overload of sensation, and Castiel took the opportunity to plunge his tongue into his mouth once more as Jimmy concentrated on massaging his glans with two fingers, reducing him to a trembling mess.

In between kisses, Cas managed to ask, “Do you want us?”

“Yeah.”

“Both?” Jimmy asked, his hand tugging at his cock in his pants.

“Yeahhhh,” was everything he could say at that moment and he tried not to get overwhelmed too fast. But he didn’t have to because right after Dean confirmed that he wanted them both, the two stepped back from him almost simultaneously, though still keeping a hold of Dean, and guided him towards the bed where they placed a hand on his chest and pushed him down so that he was laying on his back.

While Jimmy slid off his pants and this time the panties as well, Cas opened the drawer at the right side of the bed and retrieved a bottle of lube. Then, Dean watched, enthralled, as his boyfriends undressed themselves in front of him, throwing their clothes into a corner of the room before joining him on the bed.

“You’re so beautiful, Dean,” Cas praised as he poured lubricant onto his fingers and coated his digits with the liquid, “So perfect.”

Meeting his eyes with lust-blown ones, Jimmy said, “Ours. Only we get to have you like this.”

“Only we live with you, go to sleep and wake up with you.”

“Ours only.”

Their words made butterflies go wild in his stomach and Dean had never thought such a cheesy thing without wanting to slap himself. This was real and it was only for him. Because he was theirs and they were his.

Dean was so enthralled by their words and the way they kept gazing at him with honest and loving eyes, that he didn’t even notice Castiel easing a finger inside him. Once he did, though, he concentrated on the feeling of Cas’ digit and when he started a slow rhythm, feeling around the tight warmth of Dean's ass, he sighed contently and grinned slightly as Jimmy watched his cock react to Castiel’s administrations. After a moment to adjust, Cas added another one, bumping them in and out before curling them and finding that spot inside of Dean that caused him to seize, crying out as Castiel stroke over it again and again. How the man was always able to find that sensitive place, his sweet spot, that reduced him to a shaking mess at the first try would forever be a mystery to Dean, but he wasn’t complaining.

With each stroke, Dean felt the pressure inside him building and building and he was glad that Jimmy decided to give his dick a break or else he certainly would have come already. And by the time Castiel deemed him ready, which wasn’t before he had four fingers shoved up his ass, Dean's dick was more than rock hard and flushed. Jimmy seemed to find it interesting, though, because he was still watching it with those blue eyes, his hand clasping Dean’s thigh as if physically reminding him of his presence.

Carefully, Cas pulled out his fingers and stroked his thigh reassuringly before taking Dean’s hands and helping him into an upright position. The twins had a moment where they merely looked at each other as if having a silent conversation before nodding once, then Jimmy guided Dean further into the bed and shifted their bodies so that they were both facing Castiel. Dean’s back was pressed against Jimmy’s chest and his arms were already wrapped around his torso.

When Jimmy was in the right position, Cas joined them on the bed and placed down in front of Dean, propping his arms up behind him and leaning back on them. His cock was hard and long and when Dean gave him a questioning look, Cas nodded down at his crotch, indicating that Dean place himself on top of him. And so he did, crawling on top of Castiel on his knees, Jimmy following his body with his own to not break their connection, and grasping his cock by the root to hold it in place for his ass, which he angled and slowly lowered down on Cas.

Since Castiel always did a thorough job prepping Dean, he had no problems sliding down on his member and taking it inch by inch. And once Dean was completely seated, their bodies in a comfortable upright position so that he was in the middle facing Cas and sitting on his cock while Jimmy was pressed against his back, his legs tangled with Cas’, which were bracketing Dean’s hips, he stayed still and adjusted to the sensation of being filled with such a nice and big cock. The burn, the stretch, the pain, and the pleasure were all swirling around in his gut and he reveled in the feel of Castiel’s thick weight inside of him, stretching him wide and filling him up.

This right here was the part that Dean loved the most. The first moment after he got Cas or Jimmy seated deep, his body tight and stretched around them. There was just something about being completely open and at the whim of others’ pleasure that set him off like a rocket, which was also why he rarely ever even had to place a hand on himself. He just loved being a bottom, and for a few more seconds, he just took in that wonderful sensation of Castiel’s cock pressing against every single space inside of him, regulating his breathing as he placed one hand on Cas’ chest, cupping his pec, and tangling his other hand in dark, wild hair.

Then Dean started to move just slightly, rolling his hips and lifting them up to roll them back down into Cas’ crotch. While he found a slow and sensual pace, Jimmy let his hands wander down and Dean gasped when one palm wrapped around his cock, tight enough to be pleasurable but not so that it hurt. He just kept his hand there, without moving it, while Dean circled and rolled his hips, his whole body tingling with the overload of sensation. One of Castiel’s hands was gripping the meat of his shoulder as the arm was slung around his back, the other one was placed at the side of his face, fingers burying into the tips of his hair above his ear, thumb stroking his cheek, and pulling his face towards his own to start kissing Dean senseless.

It was then that Jimmy chose to start stroking him, sliding his hand up and down, and gathering his pre-cum to glide the way. He was still moving, hips lifting and rolling down to drive Castiel’s cock deep inside of their own accord, and they were so fucking close together that Dean had a hard time knowing where he ended and Cas started.

He felt so full, so complete, and the way Cas’ jaw went slack in between desperate kisses as he rolled his hips particularly hard down on him and with pleasure at the feeling of being inside him, made Dean feel strangely smug. So, he kept lifting himself up and lowering himself again, only just a few inches, never enough to be considered fucking or thrusting at all, and keeping the pace and rhythm that had both of them gasping for breath sooner than expected.

Their bodies were sweaty, the room was filled with the sounds of sex and their breathy moans and gasps, Jimmy was still stroking his cock as best as it was possible between their bodies and pressing kisses to the back of his neck while Castiel ravished Dean’s mouth with his dominant tongue. When Castiel kissed him like that, Dean felt truly claimed, and he was breathless when they broke it to take in some air. Though, as their eyes met, he was thrown off by his boyfriend’s gentle yet intense stare, his blown pupils pools of bliss in spite of what they were doing.

Castiel’s hand slid down from his face to his jaw, his thumb tenderly stroking the place of his neck where the bruises Michael had left on him still tinted his skin, and Dean knew that he was safe with them, that they would never hurt him like so many other people did before. “Ours,” Cas reminded him, his voice barely above a whisper, and Dean shuddered, lowering himself down on his cock and circling his hips as he clenched around Castiel. Suddenly, there was a loud moan as this tipped Cas over the edge and the cock inside him started to twitch and spurt, his release flooding Dean’s channel, searing hot against his insides, and it seemed like it continued to do so for what felt like minutes.

Dean loved the feel of hot cum coating him from the inside as if marking him and his jaw dropped open in a silent moan, his eyes drooping as he started to feel that wonderful state of bliss and freedom overcoming his senses. He was still moving, though, and he noticed that Jimmy had stopped stroking him but was now toying with his slit. And Dean concentrated on the feeling of Castiel’s cock softening inside of him and on what Jimmy’s hand was doing, which was currently sliding the tip of his finger across his slit and pressing its blunt nail into it and Dean had half a mind to feel the way his entire body zinged with electricity before Dean cried out, bowing his back against Jimmy’s chest and pressing his hips down on Cas as his orgasm washed over him with all its strength. He twitched a few times as Jimmy continued to play with his leaking slit, rubbing his release back into it, and he struggled to calm down and slow his breathing until Castiel framed his face and merely stared at him with loving eyes.

Once he stopped panting, Cas carefully lifted Dean off of his crotch and placed him down on the mattress between him and Jimmy. There was a content smile on his face and he felt wonderful. So good so, that he didn’t want it to be over yet.

Turning around, Dean grinned lazily at Jimmy and placed his hands on his chest to press his body down until he was laying on his back. “What are you…” he started, turning wide eyes on him. “Dean, what…?”

In lieu of a verbal answer, Dean merely smiled and turned back around, shifting to his knees once more and crawling on top of Jimmy’s crotch backward. “I told you it’s for both of you,” he stated, meeting Jimmy’s eyes over his shoulder before grabbing his still erect cock and guiding it towards his open and waiting hole.

But then there was a hand on each of his asscheeks, keeping Dean from lowering himself down on him, and Jimmy breathed out, “Dean, you don’t–”

“Let me?” he asked but didn’t wait for an answer as he pushed down on Jimmy’s cock. It slid inside easily and Dean sighed contently when he sat down on Jimmy with his back towards his face, Jimmy’s hands still resting on his ass, though no longer trying to push him away. 

In front of them, Cas sat down comfortably with his legs crossed and watched with slightly hooded eyes as Dean stayed still to also adjust to Jimmy, although he didn’t feel a difference when it came to their dicks – both felt amazing. When Dean placed his arms in front of him, between his boyfriend’s parted legs, and propped himself up on them to lean forward, he could feel Jimmy’s hands splaying out across his ass, fingertips digging into his flesh as his thumbs slid down his cleft to where he was buried deep inside of him.

With a small smile, Dean rocked his hips, his expression turning into a rather smug one as Jimmy let out a strangled moan, his hands gripping the meat of his ass to have something to hold on to other than the sheets. And like that, Dean started to move, almost as slow as he did before, and found a rhythm after a few minutes. He was bobbing up and down in Jimmy’s lap and the man seemed to love the sight, judging by all the obscenities leaving his mouth. Why he chose to ride him backward, Dean had no idea, it just happened. But he didn’t mind because he was still able to look at Cas this way while also pleasuring Jimmy, so no one got left out.

Dean kept moving until Jimmy’s breathing indicated that he was getting close and slowly, Dean’s own body had calmed down enough from his first orgasm to be ready for a second since his dick started to get hard again. But before he could ride them both to their release, Castiel scrambled forward and pressed Dean’s back down against Jimmy’s chest as well while also placing his feet on Jimmy’s knees, who shifted his legs so that he was spreading Dean’s wide open for Cas to fit between them. He was still buried inside him, though, and the stretch from the change of angle had Dean moaning. His arms wrapped around his middle, his hands gliding up his torso until they cupped Dean’s pecs and Dean gripped Jimmy’s wrists with his own hands, holding on for dear life as Castiel placed himself down between his legs.

He briefly worried that he was crushing his boyfriend, but Jimmy’s breathing was still as even and deep as was possible mid-sex, despite Dean’s full body weight resting on his body. They lay like that for a few moments, Dean concentrating on all the sensations, until Cas’ wandering hands slid along his over-sensitized cock, drawing out a long moan from him.

There was no way Dean was able to move like that but Jimmy didn’t seem to mind as he started kissing his neck again, probably sucking marks into his skin. Then, Castiel placed a hand next to their chests to prop himself up on it and lean down to slide his tongue into Dean’s mouth once more, kissing him wet and hard, before his lips wandered to the other side of his neck and started sucking the skin just like Jimmy.

“Perfect,” Cas murmured, his lips and teeth insistent at his neck and jawline as his hands soothed Dean’s trembling stomach – he didn’t know that it was doing that until Castiel stopped it – and then down further to firmly grasp his dick again. Dean yelped at the stimulation and accidentally contracted around Jimmy so hard, that he let out a surprised gasp.

Castiel smiled triumphantly at that and withdrew his face from Dean’s neck – and Cas thought _he_ was the tease? – to trail his lips down his torso with open-mouthed kisses until his chin bumped against the root of Dean’s cock. Then, he slid further down the mattress so that his face was directly above his crotch, lips dangerously close to his dick, and Dean’s eyes widened at the realization of what his boyfriend was about to do. He let out a groan at the mere thought and a moment later, Cas was kissing down from the back of his knee to his crotch, and for fuck’s sake, he even had the perfect stubble to rub against Dean’s inner thighs.

It burned so good, and Dean couldn’t keep the moan inside as he opened his mouth to gasp out, “Oh H-hell,” thighs spreading further of their own volition. “Yeah, that's…” he was interrupted by his own moan as Castiel suddenly closed his lips around the head of Dean’s cock, engulfing him in hot wetness. “Fuck!” His head thumped back into the mattress next to Jimmy’s, his eyes closing as Cas started to suck and press his tongue against the sensitive spot right underneath his head.

He was rock hard when Cas lowered himself on him, his mouth working Dean over so perfectly. And when he collected enough strength to open his eyes and lift his head, he saw the way his boyfriend bobbed his own head up and down in steady strokes, his tongue snaking up and around the sensitive glans and frenulum. “God, your–nghh… fucking mouth, _Cas_!”

This was getting too much far too soon and Dean’s back bowed under Cas’ hands as he ran them up to his ribs while his hips pressed back, trembling under Castiel’s mouth, and Dean felt himself sink a little further out of his own mind and into that place in which he simply felt, in which he merely existed. Free of overthinking and second-guessing. Free of any worries and duties.

When Dean let his head fall back once more, a delirious and soft smile gracing his lips, Castiel practically purred in satisfaction, and Dean cried out at the vibrations it sent through his entire body, while, at the same time, Cas reached a finger down to slide it along his stretched rim, where Jimmy was still buried, and just like that, Dean was lost…

It all happened at the same time. Castiel could feel Dean’s cock jerk underneath his tongue before he was taking as much of him into his mouth as he could and swallowing Dean’s cum as he came with a shout while running his hands over Dean’s body with reverence, stroking each muscle and feeling it move under him. With his body locking down around Jimmy, his twin was spurred on enough to adjust his hold around Dean to lift his hips and thrust into him a few times before that managed to tip him over the edge as well and Jimmy groaned as their boyfriend’s ass was probably milking him of everything he had to give since he was still coming himself.

After the last drop of Dean’s cum had been swallowed down, Cas carefully pulled off of his cock and searched for Dean’s face to make sure he was fine. He found it blissed-out with a giddy smile and closed eyes, smashed into the side of Jimmy’s face.

The sight of Dean pliant and panting, totally fucked out and grinning beneath him, and the sight of his stretched and slick rim where he was taut around Jimmy’s now soft cock, was enough to make him hard again, if he allowed himself to.

Jimmy shifted his body underneath their boyfriend and the movement had his cock slipping out of Dean, exposing his now very empty, pink, and slick hole to Castiel’s gaze, thanks to Jimmy still spreading his legs with his own, and seeing their combined cum leak back out of their boyfriend was all too much to bear. So he scrambled to his knees and left the bed, walking into the bathroom to grab a cloth and wet it underneath the faucet and using it to start cleaning Dean up as soon as he joined them on the bed again.

Dean’s eyes were still closed while Jimmy caressed his chest and face and Cas made sure to clean his body off most of their cum. Once he was done, he placed the cloth aside and helped Jimmy to lay Dean down next to him on the mattress, stroking the side of his face as he watched him closely. “Dean? Are you okay?”

“Mmmhm…” the blonde hummed, trying to nod his head while his eyes stayed closed. “Jus’ wanna sleep for a while…”

Chuckling, Castiel placed a kiss on his cheek and sat down next to him, letting him get his ten minutes of rest after two orgasms in a row. He merely watched his handsome face, whispering, “We really appreciated your surprise, sweetheart.” He remembered calling him that before, during their first time, and he was glad that Dean agreed to be called by different names.

“Good,” Dean mumbled with a grin, snuggling backward into Castiel’s side as his hands sought out Jimmy’s blindly. Within seconds, his breathing slowed down and he was out like a light, and the twins watched him roll onto his side with his mouth slightly parted and pressing the side of his face into the mattress. During his sleep, Dean usually shifted a few times and Cas grinned when he did exactly that and pressed back even more into Castiel.

Sighing, he relaxed his own body and reveled in the blissful state their boyfriend had managed to get them into, his eyes never leaving his face. Dean was beautiful when he slept and it all seemed so surreal.

Having Dean at all was surreal, hardly to be believed, but having him like this, all for themselves and so open and vulnerable… It was an impossible luxury and he couldn’t imagine ever living without it again.

There was so much they had yet to find out about Dean, so much more to know and _God_ , how Cas wanted to take his time getting to know their boyfriend inside and out, and getting to know his flesh. How he wanted to touch his body out of reverence and not greed.

As he trailed his finger across his skin, merely savoring every sensation, he thought about all the ways they could do just that and he could happily spend the whole night or longer tracing every inch of this beautiful skin with his hands, his lips, his tongue, and he couldn't begin to express his gratitude that somehow, he had earned the chance to do so. Somewhere along the way, Dean had decided to trust them and he would give everything to keep that trust for the rest of his life.

“Cas?”

Lifting his gaze to look at Jimmy, Cas watched the way he was gazing down at their boyfriend and how his fingers traced Dean’s hand. “What is it?”

“Do you ever…” he swallowed thickly and met Castiel’s eyes, “Do you ever just look at him and–and _feel_?”

“What? Love?”

“Yes, but that’s not what I meant. Watching Dean sleep, it stirs something inside of me,” he said, looking down at Dean once more. “Like arousal… yeah, I guess it’s that. But isn’t that wrong?”

“You feel aroused when you watch him sleep? As in, you’d like to fuck him?”

“Well, we just did, but…” shrugging, Jimmy admitted, “I guess. I’m not sure. I _don’t_ want to just take him, of course, I just look at him and I feel that – thing…” Shame was clearly visible in his features and he continued, “That’s wrong, I know. He’s just so beautiful… But I won’t touch him.”

“Hey, Jimmy, it’s okay. You’re not hurting him, we know that. Maybe it’s a kink? And Dean has told you that he liked feeling you hump him during sleep, maybe it’s not such a huge problem. But if it should turn out as one, I’m still here to make sure you two are fine.”

“What if I turn out to be as creepy as those people fantasizing about sex with corpses?”

Giving a reassuring smile, Cas said, “That won’t ever be the case, Jimmy, don’t worry.”

With a sigh, Jimmy confessed, “I just don’t wanna end up being another Michael.”

“Me neither,” Castiel whispered, staring back down at Dean and praying that it would never be that way. “Me neither…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: sexual harassment, mild violence, dub-con kissing and touching, threat of rape, coping with depression and anxiety, discussion of dubious kinks, mention of somnophilia


	9. February – Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this rather short chapter. I'll make up for this with the next one ;)
> 
> Read the End Notes for chapter warnings!

It was two days later when Dean seemed to truly realize that they were living together from now on and at first, he had been so happy that it had been hard to stop grinning all the time. But then he had gotten quiet – the exact opposite of how he’d been before. And it worried Cas as well as Jimmy. Whenever they had tried to talk to him about his feelings, though, Dean seemed to distance himself from them and so they talked about other stuff while all their minds were somewhere else.

Dean had also seemed to be thinking a lot and the twins had caught him sitting at the table and staring off into nothing a few times. It made Castiel feel uneasy and helpless while all he wanted to do was protect Dean at all costs.

So, this evening, the three of them hunkered down on the couch, snuggling together in front of the TV, and read. Well, Jimmy was watching TV and Cas was reading while Dean was snoozing partly on his chest, making him smile whenever the blonde adjusted at Cas’ side to recline in a more comfortable position. It was so domestic, so peaceful… something that Castiel never even dared to dream he would have. And while he was reading, he gently ran his fingers through the hair at Dean’s nape that was still damp after the shower they took together.

Jimmy was half laying behind them, his head using Dean’s side as a pillow as he stroked their boyfriend’s leg absentmindedly while watching a show Dean had originally hoped to see but dozed off to. But the two granted him his sleep since he’d been pretty exhausted after using the day to look for a job. And it was nice to just rest and not worry about Dean’s newly silent side.

Cas smiled, bending down to place a kiss into his hair and breathing in Dean’s scent like he loved to do. It was oddly satisfying that their boyfriend smelled like they did since they were using the same shampoo, and Castiel’s heart swelled at the thought that people may know that they were together by merely their scent.

Now that he was watching Dean, Cas’ book wasn’t that interesting anymore and he gazed down on him lovingly, starting to massage his scalp with the tips of his fingers. After a few minutes, Dean began to stir and he shifted slightly, drawing Jimmy’s attention to him as well. “You’re too good for me…” he mumbled, his voice sleep-rough.

“We’ve been through this, Dean. We are not,” Cas said with a soft voice, setting his book down next to him slowly.

Dean shifted again so that his chin was resting on Castiel’s pectoral, his green eyes blinking lazily but besides the sleepiness, there was guilt in them. Next to them, Jimmy sat up straight and leaned against Cas so that he was able to look their boyfriend in the eye as well. The corners of Dean’s mouth drew down in a sad expression and he frowned, lowering his eyes to stare at the collar of Cas’ shirt. “But you are and you don’t even know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been so honest and patient with me. You do everything for me and I’ve never felt so good and–and welcomed. And what can I give you that others can’t? I can’t even be honest with you…” Dean sat up between Cas’ legs and cast his eyes down on the couch.

Carefully, Castiel straightened and leaned forward, asking in a soft, non-judgmental tone, “What have you been lying to us about?” This was starting to worry him.

“It’s not what I lied to you about, because I haven’t, but it’s about what I haven’t told you. But I–I’ve been trying to, a lot. I wanted to tell you when you were visiting me, wanted to make this right.” He swallowed loudly and lifted his head, staring at them with glistening eyes. The sight always hurt more than Castiel would ever understand. “I swear, I wanted to tell you so that you’d know what you were getting into with me… but I couldn’t. You were so good and I didn’t feel alone anymore and I didn’t want to lose that. I didn’t want to lose you two. And so I–I…” When their eyes met again, the sleepiness and calm were gone and in its trail was guilt and shame and sadness. Dean’s eyes were wide and tears were welling up as his hands trembled before he gripped his ankle to stop it. He looked more vulnerable than Castiel had ever seen and his heart started to race as he tried to understand what was happening.

When Dean spoke again, his voice was rough and laced with guilt, “I’m selfish. God, I don’t deserve you. You did all of this for me, turned your lives upside down for this to work and you have given me so much. And I’m so sorry. So sorry… I should’ve told you before. It’s not fair of me, but I’m so fucking scared that–that you’ll think I’m even more of a wreck and leave me… and I–”

A _panic attack,_ the logical part of Castiel’s mind finally identified as Dean’s breathing started to get erratic and the first tear dropped, and so he leaned in, holding Dean's face in both his hands and making sure to catch his gaze. “Shhh, Dean. You have to calm down, okay? We’ll talk about this. Don’t worry, but first, you’ll have to calm down for us. Can you do that?”

Shaking his head frantically, maybe even to try and break the connection between his face and Castiel’s hands, Dean just went on, “You’re everything to me. You gave me so much. I wanna give it all back to you. I wanna be honest and I want you to know everything a-about me. But you’ll hate me, you’ll think I’m messed up and I–I understand if you don’t wanna live with me anymore…”

Dean just kept talking while his breathing got more and more erratic and Castiel didn’t know what to do. “Dean, it’s okay. We won’t leave you, ever. But please, stop worrying about that.” His thumbs stroked Dean’s skin and Cas’ eyes were worried as he got devastated. “Dean, please, whatever it is, it’s going to be fine. We aren’t going to leave you. Please, just concentrate on your breathing. Try to calm down.”

As their boyfriend opened his mouth to speak again, Jimmy grabbed his hands and squeezed them. “Dean, this place belongs to us all. It’s ours. Just like you’re ours and we’re yours. We care for each other and we would never regret this. You’re the best thing that happened to us, stop questioning yourself. Just close your eyes and listen to us. Don’t listen to yourself for once, please.”

And like a miracle, Dean closed his eyes and Cas gave Jimmy a grateful look before saying, “Remember that night when I called you and you were having a panic attack just like this one?” A nod. “I told you a story about myself, do you remember it?” Another nod. “It was something I never told anyone before and I told it to you because I trusted you. But also because I was ready to tell you, Dean.” As Castiel talked, Dean’s distress decreased steadily and he pressed a firm kiss to the center of his forehead. “Please know that you can tell us whenever _you_ ’re ready, Dean. We will wait. And once you’re ready, we will talk about it together and it won’t change the way we see you, Dean. You give back to us just as much as we give you and you’ll never have to worry about this with us. Just stay with us and be happy, that’s all we need.”

By the time Cas ended his speech, Dean had calmed down enough to make his frantically beating heart slow down again and he let out a relieved sigh, his thumbs still caressing Dean’s cheeks.

“I’m ready,” he whispered, his voice low and quiet, and Cas wrapped a protective arm around his waist to press him against his chest and bury his nose in the hair at the top of his head.

“Are you really or do you feel guilty and pressured to?” Jimmy asked, stroking his knees soothingly.

“I’m good, now, I promise.”

Sighing, Castiel tucked Dean more tightly under his arm and said, “That’s very nice, Dean,” pressing a kiss into his hair, “but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re avoiding the question.”

With a sigh, he relented, “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be…”

It wasn’t the most satisfying and ideal answer, but Castiel knew that Dean needed to tell them now unless he couldn’t move on. And Cas wanted him to move on and be happy, so he nodded at the same time as Jimmy did, watching Dean with cautious eyes and giving him space to sort his thoughts.

When Dean started to talk, his voice was steady but quiet and he focused his eyes on his hands where they were tracing invisible patterns across the blue fabric of the couch. “I’ve always felt lonely, especially since John never showed up and I had to raise Sammy all on my own… as just a kid myself. I guess I was overwhelmed with this responsibility and having to grow up too soon, without having a childhood of my own. When John was home, it was never to stay. He always just wanted to grab some stuff and gave us some money that didn’t always cover everything. He wasn’t there on birthdays or Christmas and that made me feel pretty lonely and sad because John was once someone I had always looked up to. When I was younger, my dad had been my hero. Indestructible and caring. I always wanted to be just like him but when mom died, he changed. My hero was gone and what was left of him was a dead shell of the man I used to love, an alcoholic that was unable to care for his sons. But I still care for him, you know, even after… everything.” Cas nodded in understanding and watched as Dean sniffled. Their boyfriend had never told this much about John Winchester and he didn’t know if he should be surprised or sad about the fact that he was right in guessing he had played a main part in all of what led Dean to his depression, and that Dean still cared for a man unworthy of his devotion and loyalty.

“I stole a lot from stores just so that Sammy could have a cake for his birthday or a present for Christmas. And while I didn’t have any real depression back then – at least I wouldn’t call it like that – I guess it was where it all started. Kinda the origin of my inner turmoil,” he chuckled dryly and Castiel’s heart clenched. “In school, I never had any real friends ‘cause we were the weird guys with a dead mother and absent father, you know? Maybe another reason why people didn’t like me was that I was a flirty fuck and a real threat when it came to girls. And I, dunno, just started to sleep around pretty early. They used to call me the school slut, although I always tried to hide that from Sammy.

“First time I fell in love with a girl named Cassie, I was so freaked out, that I didn’t act on it or tried anything with her. Guess I was just already so fucked up that I didn’t want another responsibility in my life or another person I could fail.” The room was completely silent whenever Dean paused his story and Castiel was struggling to hold back his emotions at the things he told them. This was going to be worse than he thought.

“At this point, I was constantly stealing what was left of my dad’s booze and I began to drink. It wasn’t much at first, I just did it ‘cause I could, you know. Typical teenage behavior. And maybe because it made me feel somewhat better. Once, I even stole a bottle from a store but was caught by the owner, which, truly, had never happened before and the police took me with them and brought me into a cell, telling me to stay there until my dad or mother were gonna pick me up.” A bitter smile crossed Dean’s face and he said, “Heh, I remember telling them that they could be waiting here forever. My only concern was Sam at that moment, though.

“I was getting into fights a few times and would come back with a black eye or a split lip, which would alert him, you know? But I’ve always been like that and whenever Sam asked about it, I would just wave him off ‘cause I didn’t really wanna talk about it. I started to prefer not to talk a lot more back then and I guess I knew that I was slowly changing and I remember that it used to make me furious and sad to know that Sammy didn’t have his old brother anymore – the one that he needed. I wanted to be his big and strong and fun brother like I was before…

“But there was just so much going on with me ‘cause it was also the time that I realized I liked boys and it freaked me out. No one at our school was gay and whenever someone acted like that, they were punched into the hospital or bullied and I didn’t want this. But, God, there were a few guys in my classes that I just couldn’t stop checking out and it got so hard to hide it all the time, that I was constantly tired and moody. Well, and so I started skipping school more often to avoid trouble but also to avoid that Alastair. The guy started to creep me out. He was always there. Not following me but more like stalking. Wherever I went or when I turned a corner, Alastair was there. He wasn’t always staring at me, but he was always close and when he stared at me, I used to feel like my skin was crawling and I just wanted to run ‘cause there was this hunger in his eyes and I fucking knew what it meant. So I skipped school a lot but I would attempt it whenever Sam got suspicious, to avoid worrying him.”

Dean let out a shaky breath and met their eyes, his own green ones scared and filled with past pain. “Dean,” Jimmy whispered, and the way his voice shook told Castiel that he knew what direction this story would take just like he was afraid it would. Jimmy placed his hand on their boyfriend’s shoulder and said, “You don’t have to. If you want to tell us another time, it’s okay.”

Shaking his head, Dean breathed out, “I need to tell you,” and Jimmy placed his hand back on his knee to continue stroking him and listening to his story. “One day, when I was 17, it… it happened. I remember being glad not to have Alastair looming around the entire time and when I went to the restroom to take a piss, I even let out a relieved sigh like the clueless idiot I was. So, imagine my shock when I went back to wash my hands and was grabbed by the neck and slammed into the wall opposite the basins with my back. Thinking about it now, it was just like the incident with Michael… Well, and of course, there he was in front of me with his face so close that I could feel his warmth, leering at me like a predator and pressing his body against mine to pin me there and I felt his hard dick poking my hip and barely held back the disgusted gag.

“When I told him to get the Hell off me and called him creep, Alastair said that he wanted to see me beg and before I even had the chance to try and get away, let alone register the pet name he gave me, the guy was all over me, attacking my lips and kissing me. It was harsh and not at all what I ever wanted and I fought against the intrusion as Alastair tried to push his tongue down my throat.” Dean stopped, shaking his head in disbelief. “It’s the same. It’s the damn fucking same and I didn’t even notice… Have I gotten so used to Michael treating me like that, that I didn’t even realize the parallels?” He looked at them with disbelieving eyes, his face a grimace, and Castiel had never been so torn between punching something or crying. “Well, I managed to push Alastair away with a growl and punched him in the face, spitting my anger into his face as I told him that he disgusted me and warned that if he tried this with me again, I’ll bite off his tongue. But the guy just laughed and touched his already bruising cheek with his hand in amusement, as if I was some kinda joke.

“I was so furious that I told him once more not to fucking try this ever again and I was about to leave when Alastair’s amusement cleared from his face and he suddenly looked mad. He gripped me by the collar of my jacket and threw me back against the wall which connected with my head painfully.” Dean chuckled again, bitterly at the parallels and Cas’ heart broke for him. “Funny isn’t it?” Shaking his head, he went on, “Well, but the guy was a bit more aggressive and I was fucking scared when he growled at me and told me to stop playing games, saying that he knew that I wanted this and that I shouldn’t think he wouldn’t notice the way I was checking out the jocks. He called me a fool and said that I needed to be put in my right place, almost spitting the words into my face and kissing me once more to mock me. Then he left and I barely refrained from sinking to the ground as my knees got weak and wobbly.

“After that, I was so disgusted with myself for having sent those signals to Alastair, that I didn’t even wanna leave my room for a week whenever Sammy was around and I also drank a lot during that time and skipped school altogether. I was a shitty brother and I left Sam all alone, I still feel guilty about that today and I know there’s no way to make that up again…” He took a steadying breath and focused on telling his story again, “And maybe it was karma for being such an ass to Sammy, but once I had to get back to school ‘cause I couldn’t get away with that forever, of course, I was paranoid. I felt Alastair’s eyes on me all the time, just like before, but every time I turned around now, Alastair wasn’t visible. Generally, the guy was nowhere to be seen and that somehow creeped me out even more. But I kept attending school and after a while, it even felt good again. I felt good. Enough so, that I even wanted to visit another party. This time I didn’t have a clue who’s party it was, I just went there to have free booze and get hella drunk because we were running out of alcohol at home since I emptied a lot of bottles and no one was there to replace them with new ones. 

“So I got drunk, so much so, that when I was taking a piss in the bathroom, I didn’t even notice someone coming inside and closing the door. Only when I zipped back up my pants and turned to wash my hands, I saw Alastair in the mirror behind me. God, I was so fucking drunk that my only reaction was an exasperated and annoyed sigh before turning around and staring at Alastair,” he let out a hollow laugh. “I asked what he wanted but he didn’t answer and I just rolled my eyes at him and walked towards the door, being stupid enough to turn my back on him. And a second later, Alastair had caged me between the door and his body, and when I tried to extend my arms and push him away, telling him to get off and that stuff, he just grabbed my wrists with both his hands and turned me around, slamming my chest against the door and then thrusting his hips into my ass from behind with a sick laugh and low growl. It all happened so fast, that I couldn’t even try to fight and my fucking mind was spinning to comprehend what was happening ‘cause I was still drunk. All I could concentrate on at that moment was Alastair’s hard dick pressing into my ass through our clothes and I…” Closing his eyes, Dean admitted, “I didn’t know if I was turned on or mortified,” and Castiel swallowed hard, trying to calm his heart.

“But I didn’t have the chance to analyze that further anyway ‘cause then I was turned back around and Alastair’s lips where there, on my lips, ravishing my mouth as if he went wild, and I don’t really know how it came to it, but suddenly we were walking out of the room and into one of the bedrooms and I was thrown onto the bed, watching as Alastair locked the door and walked back towards me. Everything just happened so fucking fast that the next thing I knew was that I was naked and Alastair jerking himself while cutting off my air with his hand squeezing my neck painfully. And then everything was just a blur as Alastair shoved into me without having opened me up for him first and I think I screamed at the pain and the stretch, but I’m not sure. And even though Alastair was going slow, it was the most painful thing I’ve ever felt, and all of a sudden, I was very sober.

“I didn’t know anything about gay sex but I knew enough about it to know you don't go unprepared. And before I knew it, Alastair was fucking me hard, strangling me while doing so, and my vision went blurry more than once and I could feel my body going slack with the lack of oxygen but then the hand was always gone to bring me back from the brink. When it wasn’t around my neck, though, it was slapping me hard, digging his nails into the skin of my hips or arms, and drawing blood as he scratched down my skin and left marks. All I truly remember is that I didn’t know if I should try to fight or try to enjoy myself and it was all so foggy and freaking messed up…

“I knew one thing for sure, though. That I was aroused. My dick was hard and leaking and my breath had quickened, especially so when Alastair grabbed my ankles to change the position and slammed into me at such an angle, that I saw stars behind my eyes and screamed with pleasure, even though most parts of my body hurt. And then Alastair’s thumbs pressed into my windpipe and I came. I fucking came while struggling to stay conscious as Alastair still pressed down on my windpipe and cut off my air supply. I just came… and when black crept in at the edges of my vision, I slapped Alastair with my hands, flailing and trying to get him to stop, but after a while, my arms just got too heavy, and Alastair was still fucking me… and I blacked out.”

It was completely silent in the room, and Castiel didn’t know what to feel. He was sad that Dean had to experience something like that, mad at this Alastair for using him in such a twisted way, and devastated that their boyfriend thought it was all his fault.

“For four weeks after that, I had super angry looking dark bruises around my neck, way worse than this,” he pointed at his neck and said, “When I first came back home to Sam, he was so shocked that he yelled at me and wanted me to explain myself. Sammy punched me half-heartedly in an attempt to get me back to sanity and there were tears in his eyes as he asked how I could do something so reckless. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me like he didn’t even recognize who I was. It was the worst feeling in the world. And while I felt fucking bad about how I made Sam feel, one feeling numbed out all the others…” After a small pause, Dean whispered, “Shame and disgust. I was so disgusted with myself for getting off on something so wrong and twisted like this, so much so, that I couldn’t even look into the mirror. I didn’t leave my room very often after that and I knew that Sam was worried, I knew, but I couldn’t concentrate on making Sam feel better, ‘cause all I _could_ think about was how freaking fucked up I was and how disgusted I was with myself.

“And you know what the worst thing about this all was?” he asked, lifting his gaze but not meeting their eyes, “I fucking longed to be with Alastair again. All this time, all those fucking years, I have felt so lonely and cold and now Alastair was there and he wanted to touch me. And I _wanted_ to be touched, I felt like I needed it. I wanted to stop feeling so lonely and cold, and so I longed to go to Alastair again and this thought just creeped me out so much, that I spent a whole afternoon with the rest of the booze we still had left at home and got drunk again.”

Dean’s voice broke when he said, “I know I was lost and weak and a failure when I went back to school and sought out Alastair. We started fucking again and it just got more extreme and harsher with each meeting. So much so, that I started to have long-lasting bruises that I tried to hide from Sammy. I was in pain almost constantly but I was being touched by someone and not quite ready to feel cold again. So I paid the cost and kept going.

“At this point, my mind had already split into two; one side constantly battling to get me back to my old self, screaming at me to stop and to be sane again. This side was filled with shame and hatred and disgust. It was a constant rant about what a failure I’ve become and that I was a liability and trash. That I didn’t deserve Sammy or anything in this world if I preferred _this_ over something else. The other part of me was drawn to Alastair. Not the person, but the things he did to me, you know? I knew it was wrong and bad but I couldn’t stop. I needed it and it helped turn off that mean voice inside. I felt weirdly free and unbothered by anything whenever I was with him, even though I felt like hurting myself afterward. But I never did. 

“Over time and with everything happening and making me sick, that bad voice inside of me gained more control over my thoughts and actions and I stopped being very hungry after a while. I couldn’t really sleep and lost a lot of weight, didn’t speak very often, which, I knew, scared Sam to the core but I couldn’t change. There was no way out, I saw no way out of this misery.” Castiel barely held back the sob as Dean’s voice broke and a tear dropped down to where his hands were still tracing the couch cushion. “One time, Alastair went too far during sex and he seriously hurt me but I didn’t even register. My thoughts and that voice got so loud, that I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything other than it. Somehow, Alastair had managed to break one of my ribs, which had been alarmingly visible underneath my skin now that I had gotten skinnier. For a view moments, I had struggles with breathing but then it stopped and I didn’t spare it another thought.

“That night, after Alastair had broken my rib, I went home with pain flaring up inside me badly with every breath I took and found very nice booze under John’s bed, which I enjoyed a little too much. But the voice was so loud, it gave me a headache and in a desperate try to turn it off, I drank too much. So much so, that I blacked out and was found later by a terrified and crying Sam and got into the hospital with alcohol poisoning and a broken rib that, had it not been found in the next day, could’ve killed me for sure.”

In the back of his mind, Castiel registered a ringing in his ears at hearing that Dean had almost died. Breathing was harder than it was before and his heart felt like it was in his throat, and Cas was unable to swallow without making a painful sound. His heart clenched with sorrow and pain and he held Dean a little closer to reassure himself that he was fine.

Dean was perfect, and it hurt so unbelievably to know that he had been through so much in his life. Cas couldn’t describe the ache inside him at the mere thought of what had happened to him. And when he looked at his twin, he saw a few tear streaks down his cheeks and his eyes were filled with pain.

“After that, John had to stay home with us, having been given the threat to lose his children if he neglected us once more. He was furious, of course. And while he, at first, didn’t even acknowledge me, he made his peace with this arrangement and visited local pups and bars instead. The only thing that changed was that John would come home to sleep every night, he was always gone in the morning though. I have gotten an ultimatum in the hospital which was to voluntarily visit a psychologist at least twice a week to help me get better or be sent into psychiatry and live there until my operating shrink deemed me heeled. Of course, I chose the first option and at first, it was hard for me to collect enough strength to visit her, but Sammy was there for me with so much enthusiasm and hope that it helped me want to get better just so I could make Sam proud of me again, earn back his respect.

“Sammy was there for me whenever I needed him and he gave me so much support that a million _thank you_ s would never express how great full I am for having him as my brother. He was what gave me enough strength and will to help myself and let myself be helped through therapy and the medication I took. After a while, I learned how to accept myself and live with what happened. Therapy helped me understand that what happened with Alastair wasn’t my fucked-up mind destroying me, but Alastair being manipulative and knowing exactly how to make someone depend on him. He made me need the pain to feel good and screwed up my mind – I understand that now. And when I told Lisa, my therapist, that I still kinda felt the need for it, she assured me that it was normal and nothing I had to be ashamed of. She told me about all the different ways to go about this and explained some cultures where pain was something pleasurable and she was also the one who introduced me to BDSM, well at least she told me about it.” Castiel allowed himself to smile slightly. He had to thank that Lisa for making it possible for them to meet and he was glad that therapy had helped Dean with that.

“That was so relieving to hear. Knowing that I wasn’t fucked up in the brain and, while it was one of my deeper needs, there were other people out there that needed it too or had a kink for it. I wasn’t alone out there and it made me feel so good. After a while, I got so curious about it, that I visited a club when I was eighteen. 

“All this helped me get back into a healthy mindset and helped me heal. Not completely, of course. Wounds are either always there as memory or never truly healed, they could always rip back open. But I started to feel good enough with myself and began frequenting the club and scening with a few femme Doms. I was still a bit afraid to try it with a man ‘cause I was sure it would trigger me during a scene and bring back memories of Alastair, who I haven’t seen ever since that night… also because I dropped out of school entirely to start anew.

“I got a job as a mechanic and was happy with it. Through the club, I also met Benny, my first real friend. I enjoyed spending time with him and one night, we even came closer to one another and ended up having sex, which was what took away my fear of sleeping with men. And for the first time, everything was just fine and I enjoyed myself as much as never before. It was also the first time I truly got to experience just how much I really liked bottoming, but since Benny and I decided that this wasn’t the direction our friendship should take, we left it by that one time only and that’s when I met Michael.

“And I swear, at first he was a very caring Dom, and he went slow with me, getting to know each other’s likes. But the better we got to know each other, the more Michael drifted from being mindful. While he was still caring afterward, he stopped caring about not hitting and punching me during a scene, which sometimes even threatened to trigger me into a panic attack because it reminded me too much of Alastair.”

And just like that, Jimmy and Cas finally got to know that the origin of his panic attacks and self-deprecating was his past loneliness and relationship with Alastair, and everything made perfect sense all of a sudden.

Cas was still horrified to learn all of this, though, and he suddenly understood Sam’s overprotectiveness. Why he dragged them aside on New Year’s Eve, threatening to physically hurt them if they so much as made Dean cry. After everything Sam had been through with his older brother, his role model, it was more than understandable why he was so protective over him and why he had been so quick to agree to Dean moving in with them in California – to have him close again and assure that he was safe.

He was extremely grateful that Dean had such a caring and loving brother.

Now that Dean had finished his story, the room was silent once more and Castiel calmed his pulse, getting rid of any traces of tears, and tenderly grabbed his face between his palms again. When their eyes met, Dean tried to avert them immediately but Cas made sure that he kept their eyes locked. With a soft and calm voice, he said, “Don’t ever think that this makes us look differently at you. You’re not fucked up, Dean. If anything, your story has shown me just how strong and good you are. You feel such a deep devotion to your brother and your loyalty is impressive. But not as much as your strength is, Dean. What happened to you wasn’t pretty but it wasn’t your fault and you learned how to live with it and got out of it even stronger. Because now, you know what you’re doing and you allow us to satisfy your needs after everything you’ve been through. That’s real strength. Real beauty. And I have never been more fascinated with someone as much as I have been with you.”

Castiel watched a few tears dropping from Dean’s eyes as a shy but sincere smile developed on his face and he leaned in to give him a soft kiss. When their lips parted enough to allow Dean to speak, Cas heard him whisper, “thank you,” and smiled happily.

He knew that it meant more than just that. It meant that he was grateful for their understanding and admiration for him but also for listening to him as much as giving him a chance to not feel alone anymore by moving in with him. When Jimmy leaned in to place a soft and lingering kiss against his temple, closing his eyes and simultaneously pressing a few tears down his cheeks, Castiel knew that his twin also knew what it meant.

After a moment, Dean whispered, “We should make Sunday evenings all about relaxing together in the future, what do you think?”

Chuckling, Jimmy agreed, “Hell, yes. That sounds nice,” at the same time as Cas said, “Whatever you want, Dean.”

Hearing their boyfriend talk about their shared future was the most wonderful thing, and the fact that Dean was not only looking forward to it but making plans for it, made Castiel's heart swell painfully behind his ribs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: panic attack (sorry),  
>  _the following warnings happened in the past and are only talked about:_ Mention of past abuse, Child neglect, depression, mention of past sexual harassment and rape/non-con, choking, barebacking, unprepared anal sex, unconsciousness, scratching, leaving marks
> 
> For everyone who doesn’t want to read this chapter because of its content, here’s what happened: Dean was feeling bad because he kept his past from Jimmy and Cas, which made him think he didn’t deserve them. After calming down again, Dean decided to tell them about his childhood and past (John neglecting them, him meeting Alastair, who sexually manipulated him and made Dean depend on him, and his alcohol-abuse) and the twins assured him that they still cared about him the same after hearing it all. 
> 
> ALSO, from now on, it’ll be very smutty and fluffy…


	10. February – Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay. I'll make up for that with the next chapter 😉
> 
> Also, there's a checklist with all previously talked-about kinks in this one, so beware!

Now that they knew what had happened in Dean’s past and had their boyfriend’s utter trust, Jimmy and Cas were able to complete the contract and add more rules and things that should be kept in mind during a play session. After going through all of it a few more times to check if nothing got left out, Dean had given his agreement that it held everything it needed and reminded that it wasn’t a real contract like the ones required in clubs anyway, rather something that could be used as guidance. But he had said that it could be particularly helpful for Jimmy to follow its course and use it whenever he had questions or worries, and Castiel had to admit that it was a nice idea.

So they had finished it, professionally gave their signatures at the end like Dean had done with a few Doms before, since it had always been in Clubs, and put the final results in the drawer of one nightstand.

  


Though not just their sex lives had changed after Dean’s confession; their lives changed generally.

Their apartment grew vibrant with life and warmth. Dean and Jimmy were always moving, filling the air with noise and sound. Distinctive shuffling of their footfalls or talking voices around the apartment turned the place into a home and Cas couldn’t imagine ever living alone again, in a place that was cold and empty. Silent.

Dean had made the kitchen into his space in no time and now every time Jimmy and Castiel came back home from work, it smelled like wonderfully home-cooked meals, like walking directly into Dean’s open arms, and it was the best part of the day to come home to their boyfriend to sit down and eat whatever new recipe he’d tried together. 

The best of all this, though, was that Dean was happier than Castiel had ever seen him, and he filled their daily lives with so much joy and fresh air, it was astounding. There was a lightness to him like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders that had been there for years, and he shone as though from the inside, beautiful and good. And Castiel’s heart ached with it.

He was the single most beautiful thing Cas had ever seen and the rest of creation paled in the light of Dean’s elation. It was as if the blonde had breathed new life into Castiel as well as Jimmy and Cas had never been this excited about anything – had never been in love with someone this much. But it was more than how he made them feel; it was Dean. It was the sound of his voice when he sang his favorite songs – not always just classic rock – underneath the shower spray, thinking no one could hear him. It was the fuzzy, flustered looks he sported in the mornings and how he snuggled up to them in bed to make them stay a little longer. It was his unabashed love for food and the way he smiled at his own jokes.

And Castiel was looking forward to learning and falling in love with everything about him.

If it was up to him, Cas would keep Dean home forever, but he understood and supported his decision to look for a job as a mechanic near their place, and Cas would be the last one to hold him back and make him regret being in a relationship with them. As much as he wanted Dean all for themselves, he just had to find peace with the fact that it just wasn’t possible and also very unhealthy to think like that. Though, the things they did with and to him in the comfort of their own apartment were things that only Castiel and Jimmy had permission to do. And this thought made it bearable to let Dean look for suitable jobs.

So far, they’ve had about three more, very mild, scenes together, to get Jimmy used to this whole dynamic, though he seemed to already like it pretty much.

Although there was nothing left to keep them from planning heavy ones, Castiel wanted to start this slow, and so they had shown Jimmy the basics of bondage and had one short spanking session to show him that it would still be pleasurable for Dean, despite the pain.

Of course, they’ve had vanilla sex in between, and Cas had to admit that, now that he had a taste of it, it was nice for a change, so he enjoyed that as well.

One time, after Dean had had sex with first Jimmy, then Cas, the blonde had talked about how much he loved the feel of their combined come dripping down his thighs when he stood and had trailed his fingers through the mess between his legs, only to lick it off of his digits afterward. Jimmy had jokingly suggested that they just feed it to him the next time and Dean had laughed and said that it sounded like a nice idea, although he would like it better if he just got a plug to keep it all up there, while making his way towards the bathroom to clean up.

Castiel had watched, amused, as the suggestion had left his twin dumbfounded for a moment before he had jumped off the bed and chased after a still laughing Dean, his feet thundering across the room as Castiel chuckled slightly, listening to Jimmy’s body collide with Dean’s sweaty one in a wet _smack._ When Cas had gotten into the bathroom as well, Jimmy and Dean had been in the shower, his twin wrapped around their boyfriend while heavily making out with him. Dean had merely mumbled something close to, “Oh you like that, you dirty boy, huh?” before Cas had joined them in the shower to clean up as well.

Dean was slowly getting a few kinks out of Jimmy as well, and it also made Cas happy to see his twin come to life like that.

Sam checked the pockets of his jacket once more to make sure he had his phone and keys before leaving their apartment – he was now able to call it that because they had finally moved in together and with Dean living close, he couldn’t be any happier – and making his way to his brother’s place. Dean had asked if they wanted to come around but since Jessica had to work, it was just him.

Walking down the street, Sam thought about how happy he’d been when Dean had told him that he would move to California. He had been so excited, that it had been almost impossible for him to fall asleep that night and Jess had been so happy to see him like this, that she’d also struggled to rest with all that positive and excited energy. He had to thank Jimmy and Castiel for that because, if it wasn’t for them, then Dean would probably still live in Kansas. They took such good care of his bother, Sam didn’t know why he had been this skeptical at first. But now, he counted them as his friends as well and he was glad that Dean had met them – glad that his brother seemed to be in a healthy relationship for once, even with that whole BDSM stuff going on. He was just so relieved that Jimmy was more of the neutral part of this relationship and that he would bring some ‘normalcy’ into it. And while Sam didn’t have anything against Cas, also because he was a nice and caring guy, he was still pretty grateful for Jimmy.

Admittedly, sometimes, Castiel still seemed a bit intimidating to Sam, for whatever possible reason. There was just something in the way he always sat so close to Dean and the way his piercing blue eyes would stare at him. Sam knew that Cas would never do any harm to his brother, though he also didn’t want to mess with the guy. Not with any of them.

Before he knew, Sam was standing in front of the building and he checked the time as he entered it to cross the huge hallway to the elevators. Once inside, he pressed the button to the last floor and stuffed his hands into his pockets while waiting. It didn’t take long, per se, but the ride to the last floor never ceased to make him feel fidgety. Sam just wasn’t the biggest fan of heights. Though, whenever he was inside their apartment and staring out of the windows, height didn’t seem to be such a problem any longer, somehow. Maybe it was because their place was freaking breathtaking and amazing and his mind still couldn’t comprehend that his brother lived like that. But he wasn’t at all jealous – if anything, Sam was happy for Dean and happy that his brother finally found something nice in his life.

When he arrived in front of the door, he chose to press the doorbell instead of knocking, since Dean had told him once that they couldn’t really hear knocking from upstairs, which, honestly, made sense to Sam.

It didn’t take long until he could see a shadow through the window next to the door – the roller blind was currently down, so he couldn’t look directly into their place as usual – and the door opened to reveal his brother. “Heya, Sammy,” he greeted and took a step back while opening the door and letting Sam inside.

“Hi,” was all he said in return while taking in Dean’s appearance. He looked comfortable and more at home than Sam could remember ever seeing him back in Kansas, dressed in sweats and a Metallica tee, his feet bare and hair fluffed as if having woken up from a nap. His smile was lazy and sincere, and Sam raised an eyebrow knowingly. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Nah,” Dean said, taking Sam’s jacket and draping it over the back of the chair at the kitchen island. “I was just doing some laundry and cleaning.”

Chuckling, he teased, “So, you’re their housemaid then, huh?” and Dean merely rolled his eyes at him in annoyance. “Where are they anyway?” He checked the time once more, 1.29 pm.

“First of all, I'm doing this because it’s relatively normal to do laundry in a relationship unlike _you_ , who waits for Jess to pick up all your stuff after you leave your dirty socks all around the place, and I’m not their fucking maid, jerk. Stop thinking of them like some rich white men,” he pointed a finger at him with raised eyebrows, his voice deep, “and Jimmy came home earlier today since all his clients for the day were through pretty quickly, so he went to the store to get some food. Cas should be here any minute.”

Lifting his hands in the air placatingly, Sam huffed, “Woah, dude. Didn’t mean to rile you up like that, it was just a joke.” He sat down on the chair that had his jacket draped over its back and looked at Dean with careful eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Sam. I just don’t want people to think that I like them for stuff like that,” he sat down next to Sam with a heavy sigh.

“I didn’t say you did. And who thinks that anyway?”

“I dunno…” Dean shrugged half-heartedly, “people.”

“But you don’t, right?”

Meeting his eyes with disbelieving ones, Dean said, “Of course not, Sam!”

There was hurt in his eyes and Sam regretted asking that question immediately. “Well, then you don’t have to be afraid of people saying it ‘cause it’s not true.” Dean shrugged slightly and Sam took in his profile. “And how much do they earn anyway…? I mean, Cas is an accountant and Jimmy a tattooist, it’s not like there’s a _huge_ difference between their and your salary.”

“Right now it is,” Dean said, looking at him, at the same moment as the door opened and Castiel entered their apartment. Both their heads turned towards him, watching as he placed down his briefcase to take off his trench coat. Then Dean jumped off the chair and strode towards him, a fat smile on his face, and wrapped his arms around Castiel to kiss him deeply.

Sam didn’t mean to stare but he couldn’t look away because Dean looked so happy right now, as if the man could brighten his day no matter how dark. Castiel looked equally happy though, judging by his wide and soft grin, and his voice was warm when he whispered, “I still have to get used to being greeted like that every day.”

Grinning, Dean asked, “Yeah? You like it?”

“Very much,” Cas said, grabbing Dean’s hand and tugging it to make him follow behind. It was still fairly new to see his brother so domestic with his partners, and Sam smiled faintly. “Hello, Sam, it’s very nice that you’re here,” he greeted, turning Sam’s focus on him where he stood in front of his chair, holding out his hand.

Even though things like that made Castiel seem oddly formal and a little stiff, it was still a nice gesture and Sam took his hand to shake it with a small smile. “Yeah, thanks for inviting me.”

“It’s just to talk and have dinner together, guys,” Dean said, rolling his eyes where he stood next to Cas, his hip pressed against Castiel’s, “don’t make a big fuss about it. Or treat it like a business meeting.”

Cas smiled sweetly while Sam shook his head and after that, they waited for Jimmy’s return. When he arrived with a few bags filled with food, they placed everything where it belonged and sat down on the couch afterward, talking about their days and work. Dean was proud when Sam told them about the results of his papers and it made him feel really good as well, having made his brother that happy. But it was nothing compared to what he felt when Dean told them that he’d finally found a job and would start working there in two days and his face lit up with excitement and happiness as the twins and Sam had told him how great that was and how happy they were for him.

Dean needed this – he needed a win in his life. God, he had needed it ever since they were children, but now Dean finally got it. He had a well-paid job, caring boyfriends, a nice place to live, and he was closer to being ‘good’ than ever.

Sam remembered when they first visited them after Dean had moved in and told them that Jimmy and Cas knew about his depression and past because he had told them about it one evening. He hadn’t seen his brother this happy and free for more than a decade and Sam had been so grateful that Dean still had the possibility to finally be himself again.

It was also the moment that Sam had realized how loyal and honest the twins were since they had kept their conversation from New Year’s Eve to themselves, and truly accepted them into their family and as Dean’s boyfriends – deciding that they deserved his devotion.

After they talked about whatever came to their minds, all four of them started to prepare dinner and it was really nice to spend time with his brother like that again. It felt normal.

Dinner was delicious and they were even so generous to put the leftovers into a lunchbox for Sam to carry home so that Jessica could have some of it as well once she’d come back from work.

Throughout all of it, though, Dean got more fidgety from minute to minute and Sam wondered why. He was constantly looking at Cas or Jimmy before seemingly checking himself, always deep in thought. Apparently, it wasn’t anything bad, though, because Dean was still engaged in the conversation and laughing. Would it really have been anything bad, he would have zoned out on them entirely.

So, Sam only felt a little curious when he said his goodbyes and made his way back home, but not worried as he usually would have.

Much had changed.

As soon as the door fell shut, Dean turned around and looked at the twins excitedly, grinning shyly at them and waiting for them to say something.

Last night, they had discussed their scene for tonight and Dean was _thrilled_. He had never been this excited for a play session ever before and he couldn’t wait to be tied up into the air. Castiel had finally relented and agreed that they start with suspension, even if this would be more of a test to see if Dean truly wanted it or not than a real scene. But they had made out an exact plan of what they would be doing tonight – Cas would start tying the rope around Dean to later suspend him horizontally since he would only ever try vertical with him once he got used to it and decided that he truly liked it – in case something happened – while Dean would wear a plug to keep him somewhat stimulated and prepared for them, if nothing should go wrong and Dean would like to continue; to take him afterward. Well, Jimmy would take him afterward because Dean had practically begged Cas to take him while suspended, in case this should be the only time they were doing this. He truly hoped not, though.

So, yeah, Dean was overly excited, so much so, that concentrating on their conversation earlier had been a bit tricky. Also, he couldn’t stop looking at his boyfriends and making sure they were equally excited. And whenever he got nervous about messing up or not being good enough for Cas, looking at their calm and loving faces quelled those worries again as fast as they appeared.

He really didn’t want to mess this up. Dean wanted to be good for them, to be what Castiel deserved. But since he had never done suspension, he felt inexperienced and was afraid that he wouldn’t be as good as the Subs Cas had had before him. Which was a problem that Dean had never had before when it came to things like sex. It felt odd.

After a while of staring at each other, a soft smile finally broke out across Cas’ face and Dean grinned as his eyes took him in from feet to head where he stood with his back leaned against the closed door. Feeling cheeky, Dean cocked out his hips a bit and worried his bottom lip teasingly, lowering his eyes a fraction to stare at them from underneath his lashes.

Jimmy’s lips parted and he took a cautious step forward, his eyes wide, and Cas’ expression turned from soft to hungry. Yeah, Dean knew exactly how to get them weak.

With a rasping voice, Castiel asked, “Are you ready, Dean?”

Nodding slightly, Dean said, “Yes, Castiel.”

A pleased rumble from deep in his chest left Cas’ throat and he smiled. “Very well, then.” Holding out his hand to Dean, he coaxed, “Come on,” and without hesitation, Dean had his hand placed in Castiel’s and was dragged upstairs with Jimmy following behind them, his hands resting on each of Dean’s hips to keep contact as well.

They stopped in front of the door and placed kisses on different parts of Dean’s body while he tried not to squirm. “We want you to take a shower and prepare yourself for us, the items you can use are in the bathroom,” Jimmy whispered while pressing a kiss to the tender place behind his ear.

“We will be preparing everything while you take care of yourself, so take your time,” Cas informed, meeting his eyes before adding, “But don’t take too long.” Once both had kissed his lips one after the other, Dean walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him to start preparing himself.

Cas had told him that it wouldn’t always be like that. Sometimes, they would do the prepping as a part of the scene or he would do so as part of it, or he’d simply get the order to be prepped for the scene, which meant that Dean would have to do it by himself beforehand, like now.

But it wasn’t all that bad because he loved when they could just slip into him without any delays.

Throughout their days together in their new home, Dean had gotten to learn a lot about the twins that he hadn’t known before. It was great because he now knew things like the fact that Cas had a slight kink for taking him whenever, wherever – to Dean’s delight – and during this rather short time, they had already covered more than half of every surface in their apartment during sex. Jimmy, on the other hand, liked sex the most when they were still in bed, freshly woken up. Maybe it had something to do with that thing of his – this getting aroused while Dean was asleep. But he didn’t mind at all.

It was quite the opposite, honestly. Sometimes, Dean fantasized about being woken by his beautifully big cock pushing into him, his sleep getting disturbed as Jimmy fucked him lazily from behind under the covers. Yes, he knew, he was a kinky jerk but they were only fantasies anyway and he had never harmed anyone with them before…

Dean also got to learn that he loved being spanked by Cas while Jimmy watched. It was such a wonderful feeling being so vulnerable but desired and he soon learned that Castiel preferred length over force, since he never hit Dean nearly as hard as he could. And Dean knew how strong the man could be, he was a rigger after all and had shown him more than once that he could easily lift Dean up without breaking a sweat, even though that flappy trench coat tried to hide his glorious chest and arms with those wonderful muscles…

 _But_ , this didn’t mean there was no heft behind Castiel’s smacks. He knew exactly what force to use in order to leave Dean’s ass bright red and stinging but astoundingly unbruised, though a deeper ache would form soon after and settle in as a reminder of the spanking for several days following.

Though, as satisfying as that spanking session felt and how aroused it had left him, it turned out to be a slight problem, actually, since he found himself hardening pretty much every time he sat down or accidentally brushed his ass against something too firmly. His boyfriends’ teasing and Castiel’s hips whenever they ‘accidentally’ bumped into him from behind weren’t much of a help either. Dean could be glad that he had been able to wear sweats that day and he thought about asking them to postpone spanking sessions to weekends only from now on. Working in jeans with his ass aflame and a raging boner going on wasn’t gonna help him make a good impression on his new employer.

He’d gotten rid of his clothes in a few seconds and was now standing in front of the ‘items’ they had put out for him. Dean remembered that they wanted him to wear a plug and so they had made an effort to offer him a selection.

The day after Sammy and Jess had visited them, Castiel had taken Jimmy and Dean to one of the sex shops he used to go to for renewing his equipment and they had spent almost four hours picking out toys and other stuff Dean found interesting and Jimmy and Cas wanted to see him wear or try.

Staring at the plugs for a moment, Dean let his eyes travel over them – normal, silicone, to glass ones and nicely shaped plugs, to one that says it’s made to feel like being rimmed, and a vibrator. Grabbing the last one, Dean decided to go with the mint-colored, vibrating one. It wasn’t big, so he had to be thorough with his hands but it had a nice texture with a tapered tip and t-shaped base.

Setting it aside, Dean walked into the shower and started cleaning himself up, rubbing his skin with body lotion, and shampooing his hair. He loved that he got to use the same one his boyfriends did, loving that he smelled just like them; like fresh, green apples and honey. 

When he was done with that, making sure he was all clean and ready to be prepped, he turned off the water and grabbed the bottle of lube around the corner on the edge of the sink, and dried his hands in the towel. After that, he coated his fingers with lubricant and leaned forward slightly, reaching his right hand behind his back to prod at his rim before sliding one digit inside. Dean didn’t make a big deal out of it and opened himself up almost clinically, adding finger after finger once he had made enough space to insert another one, making sure to use a lot of lube to slick himself up and ensure an easy and smooth way inside for Jimmy and Cas.

He scissored himself open with four fingers and bumped them in and out a few times before deciding he was adequately prepped and pulling his fingers out with a slick sound. Then, Dean walked out of the shower to wash his hands and took the plug to push it into his hole, shifting a bit to make sure it sat right, and grabbing a towel to dry his almost air-dried body and running it over his head, rubbing his hair, which was also merely damp already.

Before he exited the bath, or rather entered their bedroom, Dean took a few soothing breaths. He could do it. He could be good. He _wanted_ to be good because he wanted _this_.

They were just finishing up their preparations, both naked except for their briefs, when the door to the bathroom slid open and Dean entered the room in all his wonderful and naked glory, a small and shy smile on his lips, although the anticipation was clearly evident in his eyes.

Smiling softly, Cas walked towards their boyfriend and Jimmy watched as he took Dean by the hand to guide him towards the bed where they have already spread the rope. His hair was still a bit damp and darker but he smelled fresh and Jimmy smiled as they stopped in front of him, leaning in to give him a lingering kiss.

“How are you feeling, Dean? Generally,” Cas asked, meeting Dean’s eyes and resting there.

“Good. I’m ready,” the blonde informed, not breaking eye contact.

Nodding once, Castiel asked, “Did you sleep well last night?”

“Yes.”

“Does anything feel sore?” His thumb stroked across the back of Dean’s hand where he still held it in his own, smiling softly.

“No, I’m all good.”

“Okay,” Cas said, looking at Jimmy for a second to check in with him, and he gave a tiny nod. “Is the temperature okay? Are you cold?”

Smiling brightly, Dean shook his head and assured, “It’s totally fine in here, Cas. Really, I’m ready.”

Castiel had told Jimmy about checking in with the submissive before entering the scene to avoid any incidents or dropping afterward, and Dean knew as well, but watching it was still different than what he thought. He was pretty excited, though. No matter if he’d get to have sex in the next hour or not. All that counted was that Dean liked what Castiel was about to do. Maybe not just liked but enjoyed it. His twin was very fond of the idea of suspending Dean in various different positions in the future and if it would turn out as something they both enjoyed, then it would be just awesome.

“Okay, I just need to make sure, Dean. This is your first time.”

At that, Dean suddenly averted his eyes and mumbled, “Don’t remind me of that,” in a quiet and hushed voice, as if hoping they wouldn’t hear.

Letting go of Dean’s hand to place it at the side of his face, Cas asked, “What?” and tilted his face up so that they could see his eyes. They looked uncertain and a little insecure as they struggled to lock on to Cas’.

“Hey,” Jimmy soothed, taking a step closer to rest his hand on his shoulder, “that doesn’t bother you, right?”

Dean just shrugged, flicking his eyes from Jimmy’s to Castiel’s and back to Jimmy’s again. “It does?” Cas asked, perplexed, and leaned in to explain, “Everything is a first time at some point in everyone’s life, Dean.”

Dropping his shoulders slightly as he let out a sigh, Dean said, “Yeah, it’s just that I don’t want to be that inexperienced guy that messes everything up…” It was the first time that Jimmy saw him this insecure. He had seen Dean cry, be vulnerable, or have a panic attack, maybe even be a bit unsure about something, but not this insecure. Especially when it came to sex. But before he could think about how weird it was to see him like that, Dean said, “What you do is beautiful, Cas. What if I’m not… good?”

With a soft smile, Cas breathed out, “Oh, dear… you could never mess this up, Dean. You’re wonderful and I know you can be good. And even if this turns out to be something you don’t ever want to try again, then that’s alright, Dean. I won’t be sad.”

“But you like it so much…” Dean mumbled, gazing at Castiel with big eyes.

“Dean? Do you feel like you _have_ to do this for me?”

Shaking his head, the blonde assured, “No. I wanted to try this for years but I never trusted anyone enough to do that with me. But I trust you, Cas. And I trust Jimmy. I don’t feel like I have to like it because you do, that’s not it.”

“Dean, there are many couples out there where one person likes bondage but the other doesn’t, and they find their compromises. We’ll find one as well if you should not like this. Don’t worry about it, Dean. Okay?” But Dean still looked a bit concerned, so he added, “I find it interesting that it bothers you, since you’re the most experienced man I’ve ever been with, Dean.”

Their boyfriend’s eyes widened a fraction upon hearing it and Cas smiled faintly, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“It’s true, Dean,” Jimmy chimed in, catching Dean’s attention. “You’re the most experienced one I know, too. So, what if you’ve never gotten a tattoo before you went to my salon, you’ve done tons of other stuff that I haven’t even heard of. And it’s the same with Cas. Suspension is the _one_ thing that you haven’t tried yet but you still have so much more experience with other stuff than we have.”

Honestly, sometimes, it could even be a bit intimidating to hear about the things Dean had tried and about his experiences – at least for Jimmy, who had close to zero experience when it came to kinks or BDSM stuff. And it wasn’t just what he had experienced thus far, but _when_. Dean had started so early with sex and everything that came with it, and Jimmy had always thought that he’d been younger than other people when he’d discovered lust and his attraction towards both sexes while Castiel had always been more of a late bloomer.

Dean went to BDSM clubs because he knew that he needed it with 18, for crying out loud. How Dean could ever be shy about not having any experience with the very little things left was a mystery to Jimmy.

Also, there’d been this one time Dean had told them about a few kinks people had tried with him after getting his consent to while the three of them had been lazily lying in bed after sex. It had been very interesting to hear what other people liked to do, and Jimmy had even known the terms of a few things, but that had stopped when Dean had started to talk about this one guy, who’d told Dean that he loved _bean bunging_ and talked about that time he had tried it with a girl and how he wanted to try it with Dean as well – which the blonde had politely declined to avoid any incidents.

Before the blonde had told them this story, Jimmy hadn’t even known that testicles could be firm enough to insert them into someone – _along with their dick!_

While he had very nice and firm balls himself, so had Dean once told him, Jimmy couldn’t really imagine ever trying it and he would have loved to have seen Dean’s expression as he was asked that question. It must have been as hilarious as Castiel’s face that night.

“Believe us, you’re not inexperienced just because you haven’t tried this yet, Dean,” Jimmy assured, squeezing Dean’s shoulder once, reassuringly. “And there’s nothing wrong with being inexperienced in the first place. No one should ever feel insecure about that.”

Nodding once, Dean let out a quiet breath and whispered, “Okay.”

“Is there anything else, Dean?” Cas questioned, looking at him with cautious and soft eyes. “If there is something on your mind while we try something like this, then you could get hurt or drop afterward, and I will not put you into such a risk, Dean.”

“No, I’ve just been thinking about this a few times today. But that’s it, I swear. I’m completely okay now.” He gave them a sincere and wide smile, saying, “And thanks… for telling me that. I feel better now. Truly. We can start.”

“Well, if that’s so, then why don’t you show us what you have chosen for tonight?” Castiel suggested with a playful grin, steering the conversation into a direction Dean seemed to like more.

There was a blush starting to form on Dean’s cheeks before he turned around and bent down, presenting his gorgeous ass for them. Nestled between his plump and round cheeks was the base of a mint-colored plug and with a smile, Jimmy recognized that it was the vibrating one.

Castiel stepped behind him and crouched down a bit, gliding his hand up Dean’s thigh and over this asscheek to slide it over to the plug and tap the pad of his finger against it teasingly. “Is it on?”

“No.”

Jimmy watched as Cas pressed the button and the surprised gasp coming from Dean made Jimmy’s cock twitch excitedly in his boxers, already starting to get aroused. “A little something you can concentrate on while I tie you up,” Castiel explained teasingly and stood back up. He let his hands slide across Dean’s beautiful, lean back, along his spine, and wrapped his other arm around his middle to press his upper body up again so that he was standing upright with his back to Cas’ chest. “Do you want to begin?” He whispered the question into Dean’s ear and Jimmy watched his body shudder at the sensation. It was thrilling.

“Yes, Castiel.”

“Mmmmh,” Cas hummed, letting go of their boyfriend and turning him around. “Once I start suspending you, you’ll probably find yourself slipping into subspace pretty fast but Jimmy and I will keep you out of it as long as you’re in the air.”

“Why?”

“Because we don’t know how you will react and we need you to be with us to be able to tell us how you feel. Does it make sense to you?”

“Yes, Castiel.”

“Good,” Cas said simply, giving him a warm smile before taking his hand and guiding him onto the bed. When Dean settled into a comfortable sitting position, which didn’t seem to be an easy task with his plug inside, Castiel asked, “When you think about bondage or similar activities, is there a certain position that works best for you? How do you want me to tie you so that it’s still comfortable, all things considered?”

“It should still be horizontal, right Castiel?”

“Yes.”

“I guess I’d like to stay like this – with my back to the floor and facing the ceiling, Castiel.”

Starting to pick up the ropes he would need and draping them neatly over his arm, Cas asked, “Have you ever had problems with your back? Any injuries?”

“No, Castiel.”

“Okay. Would you please lay down on your back, legs stretched out, and arms resting next to your body?” Without hesitation, Dean did what he was asked and got into the required position. With a satisfied smile, Cas went on with whatever he was doing while Jimmy merely watched from the side. “Thank you, Dean. What I am going to do is start to bind rope around five places of your body which will hold your entire weight. Very experienced and flexible people are able to balance their weight with only two, without hurting themselves or breaking something. But we will start slow and secure.” Castiel talked while choosing rope and certain lengths of it, placing them down next to certain parts of Dean’s body. “I also won’t suspend you too high up in the air and will keep it at waist level, when I’m kneeling on the bed. So you’ll be about 24 inches above the mattress, okay?”

“Okay, Castiel.”

“It doesn’t sound as much, but it is as high as I’ll go for the first time in case something happens. And once you’re up, you’ll see that it seems higher.” Dean merely nodded and Castiel continued to sort the rope. “I’ll start with your legs, the rope will be bound right above your knees, then I will move on to your beautiful butt and secure rope just underneath your cheeks before the most important rope will be tied around the small of your back. Butt and back will be joined later to give you more stability. The last part is going to be your arms, which will be angled so that they’re almost crossed underneath your head to give it something to rest on, your hands bound together so that they’re resting between your shoulder blades.”

And with the necessary information given, Castiel started to tie Dean’s legs exactly how he said he would, waving rope around the back of his knees and tying knots. Jimmy watched intently as his twin started to get into his element, making sure the rope wasn’t too tight but not loose either and looking up to check on Dean whenever he finished a knot and moved on to another. Jimmy alternated between gazing at Dean’s face to make sure he was alright and watching Castiel’s hands as they prepared Dean to be suspended. Whenever he was done with one section, moved on from his legs to his butt, Cas increased the level of vibrations and it was fascinating to watch as Dean’s cock slowly started to fill out and stiffen.

What was also oddly arousing for Jimmy was the sight of the dark rope cutting into Dean’s soft and slightly freckled skin. It didn’t look painful but it sat tight enough that it would probably leave impressions in the skin in its pattern. 

Cas was confident as he secured the rope around Dean’s middle, his movements skilled and careful. And as if knowing what Jimmy was thinking about, he started to talk again. “What’s your color, Dean?”

“Green.”

“Are you still comfortable?”

“Yes, Castiel,” Dean answered with a soft voice, his eyes closed as Cas’ hands worked the rope around him.

When Cas started to tie complicated knots again, he asked, “Do you still remember what I told you about the risks?”

“Yeah… my skin could be marked afterward. I could get bruises or even rope burn. I could get dropped, but I know you will take responsibility for not dropping me. But even if it should happen, there’s a bed right underneath me, so that’s no bad.”

Stopping what his hands were doing, Castiel leaned over Dean’s body to look directly into his eyes and said, “Just because there’s a bed underneath doesn’t make it alright if I drop you, Dean. You could still get hurt and I don’t want you talking like that. If you want to be a good boy, value yourself.” His voice was deep and low. Jimmy had come to learn that it was his ‘Dom-voice’ and it always seemed to work.

Dean swallowed thickly, nodding jerkily and whispering, “Okay. I’m sorry, Castiel.”

With a satisfied smile, Cas returned to his previous position, but not before pressing a kiss to the tip of Dean’s hard cock, and resumed tying knots. After that, Castiel started talking about the warning signs of nerve compression, explaining that, while he would do everything he could to reduce risks, Dean had to also be vigilant in listening to his body, telling him that Cas wanted to know about any tingling, numbness, or unusual sensation and that he should use the word yellow to express that something felt odd. He also told Dean to say if he’d start to feel any signs of fainting.

Throughout the rest of the process, Cas alternated between checking on Dean, tying the rope, and increasing the level of vibrations of the plug to keep Dean stimulated while Jimmy watched their boyfriend closely, observing his expression and his body. On the whole, it took about forty minutes until Castiel was finally able to truly start suspending Dean. Jimmy helped where he could, holding parts of Dean’s body or supporting his entire weight while also checking if he was alright. By the time the blonde was fully suspended and was being held in the air by ropes only, Dean was pretty aroused and they had to call him back to reality a few times to keep him from drifting off.

Seeing Dean like this, all naked and flushed skin, draped in rope and suspended, with a small but soft grin on his lips and half-lidded eyes, was enough to have Jimmy completely hard. The position was beautiful, it brought out Dean’s lean body and muscles. His head was softly resting on his arms and his butt and middle were slightly more raised than the rest of his body, creating a stunning arch of Dean’s back and pronouncing his raised hips. In this position, his stomach was stretched and he looked so relaxed, with his legs wide open where they were bound to the ceiling, his feet hanging loosely a few inches above the mattress. And when Jimmy looked at Cas, he noticed that the sight had an equally aroused expression written into his eyes.

“What’s your color, Dean?” Castiel asked firmly, though not firm enough because there was no answer from Dean. “Hey,” Cas said, tapping his thigh a few times, “Dean, don’t let go yet.” When there was still no answer, Cas pinched his thigh and massaged the ache out of it afterward, trying again to ask for Dean’s color.

“Mmhhh…Green. Green, Castiel.” The answer was mumbled and Dean’s voice was rough but it made Cas breathe out in relief and Jimmy smiled.

“How are you feeling? Is everything alright? Do you want to continue what we have discussed before?”

“Yeahhhh… please. Take me, Castiel. Do what you want with me, please… feels so nice.”

“Okay,” Castiel said, slowly taking off his boxer briefs, “Are you sure you can stay in that position?”

“Yeahh, please…”

Stroking himself a few times, Castiel watched Dean for a moment with that lustrous gaze. But it was more than just lustrous, it was hungry. Everything about Cas was hungry – his gaze, how his abs trembled with each labored breath, with his cock in his hand, huge and hard, flushed with blood and dripping pre-cum from the tip. And it was all for Dean. Only for him. Just like _this_ was only for them. “You’re so good, Dean. So beautiful. I can’t wait to be inside you,” Cas rumbled as he stepped between Dean’s open legs, his hands sliding up his thighs where they were spread wide around Castiel’s hips.

His hands stopped at the tops of Dean’s thighs, right underneath the rope joined with the lower back section holding most of Dean’s weight, and wrapped them around his flesh, taking hold of him by digging his fingertips into his skin. For a short while, Castiel merely took in their boyfriend’s absolutely astonishing body and the way he seemed to enjoy himself like he never had before. Then, he stopped the vibrations of the plug and carefully pulled it out, depositing it on the towel at the end of the bed.

Cas had been pretty good at measuring the height so that it was unproblematic to rest between Dean’s legs on his knees, his cock easily guided to Dean’s entrance. The blonde was patient while Castiel entered him, and he seemed to just enjoy every sensation, relish everything that he could, and even after Cas had bottomed out completely and given Dean some time to adjust to the hard length filling him up, he didn’t squirm or cant his hips to get him to move. And he also didn’t say anything like “move, Cas,” which was totally fascinating.

At that moment, Dean just _took_.

But after Castiel had taken some steadying breaths, he started to gently guide Dean’s body away with his grip on his thigh before moving him back into his body, smoothly and carefully swinging him in the air to impale him on his cock again and again.

The slick, wet sound of their hips colliding with abandon filled the room thereafter, and Jimmy grew dizzy from merely watching Cas fall apart as he took his pleasure from Dean while also making the blonde feel good.

He kept on impaling Dean on his cock, pushing him away and pulling him back in, over and over. After a while, Cas got impatient, though, and Jimmy watched as he met Dean’s body halfway, snapping his hips into his Sub to bury his entire length in Dean’s hot and tight channel. His mouth went slack and his grip tightened around Dean as his snaps got harder and his thrusting faster, finding himself chasing his orgasm as the wet slapping sound got louder and the Sub seemingly started drifting.

Castiel was the first to come after a while of thrusting into Dean and he didn’t waste much time to cuddle with him as he usually would directly after an orgasm, instead he pulled out as soon as he calmed down from his high and told Jimmy to hold Dean’s weight for a while so that he could start untying the blonde. “Color, Dean?”

“Noo… Please don’t stop… green, please.” It was barely above a breath and he didn’t even open his eyes.

“Okay,” Cas whispered, pressing a kiss to Dean’s sweaty forehead while carefully undoing the knots that held their boyfriend in the air. Once that was achieved, he and Jimmy tenderly put Dean down on the mattress, still with rope around his body but no longer suspending him or restricting any movement, except for his arms and hands.

The blonde was still grinning lazily when Castiel leaned down, kissing him softly and whispering, “Let go, Dean. You can let go now. We have you,” with his deep, gravelly voice, gently running a hand through his sandy brown hair.

When Cas met Jimmy’s eyes and gave him a tiny nod, he took it as his cue and pulled down his boxers to free his aching cock, giving himself a few strokes, before he grabbed Dean’s legs where they had pulled up and dropped to each side, opening up to him, and placed each foot on one of his shoulders so that his legs were spread, pointing at the ceiling, and his ass lifted to Jimmy’s crotch where he was still kneeling like he had been while supporting him before, Dean’s shoulders and bound arms holding his weight now.

Since he was already open and loose, it was a smooth glide inside and Jimmy sighed in satisfaction as he pushed in to the hilt, watching his cock steadily disappear between Dean’s legs. Sinking into their boyfriend’s heat was invigorating and Jimmy swallowed roughly. Dean was silken smooth and burning hot inside, his channel fluttering around each and every inch of Jimmy’s cock that sank into him.

Once he let himself adjust to this wonderful feeling of being inside Dean, he started to move, undulating his hips against Dean’s for more force. Jimmy was sweating and when he settled his hands on his boyfriend’s hips, gripping him firmly to have a better hold on him, he let his eyes wander over Dean’s body. His mind grew even foggier with lust at the physical proof that they turned Dean on. Because they did that. They caused him to grow hard and writhe in ecstasy while they were allowed to take their pleasure from him. And Jimmy prolonged his thrusts to push into him with more control, making sure to hit Dean’s spot every time he slid inside.

A steady stream of moans and gasps was leaving Dean’s throat with each thrust and Jimmy knew he was stimulating his prostate just right. He kept going like that, pushing them both further and further towards the breaking point while Dean started to truly let go, his body going pliant and soft and welcoming beneath Jimmy.

He was nearing the inevitable but he was determined to lay his claim – to mark Dean in the most primal of ways. Having the blonde beneath him like this, vulnerable and sex drunk and wanting him, was more than he would have ever dared to ask for.

So he kept going, feeling Dean getting closer and closer to the edge with each thrust, and Jimmy loosened one hand to slide it down Dean’s torso, watching the lean, beautiful body quake and shudder at his touch and seeing the color rising in his cheeks as the blonde went liquid under his touch, moaning softly. A moment later, Dean’s ass constricted around Jimmy’s cock as his muscles tightened before his cock jumped and he spilled hot and wet onto his own stomach, orgasming with a small gasp, his body going completely slack in Jimmy's hold, who's cock was being milked by the steady spasms of Dean’s body. The overwhelming contractions of his channel around Jimmy kept trying to draw him under as if trying to milk his orgasm right to the surface. It sparked under his skin like a live wire, sending wonderful currents of pleasure through his entire body so that his toes curled while he tried to keep going.

When his own orgasm finally hit, Jimmy thought he’d blackout for a second with the force of it, but he kept rolling his hips into Dean to ride out the waves of pleasure and the blonde whined a little at the slow grind of their spent bodies. And as he carefully and slowly pulled out of Dean, taking hold of his legs to gently set them back down on the mattress, Castiel was already untying the knots and freeing their boyfriend of the ropes around his arms.

Still a bit dazed, Jimmy asked if he could help in some way and Cas told him that he could undo the rope around Dean’s legs if he could manage to open the knots. And so they spent a few minutes getting Dean rid of all the rope around his body while letting him float in subspace.

As soon as they freed him of the ropes, Castiel grabbed the drink they had set onto the nightstand before and handed it to Jimmy with the unspoken order to give it to Dean, and so he tried to make him drink while Cas rubbed and massaged the oil into his skin where the rope had left marks and impressions, which looked absolutely stunning on Dean, simultaneously calling him back to them. He lovingly stroked his belly with oily hands, looking at his blissed-out and sleepy face and asking, “Dean? Sweetheart, we want you to come back now, okay?”

Dean’s face remained relaxed and his eyes closed when Cas started to praise him, saying, “You did great, Dean. So wonderful. You were so good. So beautiful,” and Jimmy placed his hand at the side of Dean’s face, stroking his cheek. “But if you can hear us, Dean, open your eyes. We need to make sure you’re fine.”

It took a bit more coaxing and praising before Dean blinked his eyes open just to gaze at them through tiny slits, heavy-lidded. His smile was sweet and lazy and he seemed to be more in a daze than awake, but when Jimmy put the glass to his lips while Cas told him to drink something for them, Dean did as he was told. After half of the drink in the glass was gone, Jimmy reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the granola bar. There was just something about feeding a satiated and dazed Dean that turned Jimmy on and he loved that he was able to care for him like that.

When he looked at his twin, he saw that Cas had laid down next to Dean, cuddled close to his body and holding him so intimately and possessively with soft and loving eyes focused on Dean’s face, Jimmy understood now more than ever what Castiel had meant as he talked about needing his Subs to need him. This was the point that he needed the most, the moment during which he felt most like himself. And Jimmy understood. It was so beautiful and pure and he hoped that he would get to have this with Dean for a long time. _Forever._

Castiel continued to praise Dean and massage his skin with the oil after the blonde ate the granola bar and Jimmy just placed down and watched it all, cuddling close to Dean’s other side.

About fifteen minutes later, Cas decided to draw Dean a nice and warm bath and once the tub was filled and ready, they carried their boyfriend into the bathroom. Cas sat down first in the tub so that Jimmy could lift Dean into it gently, placing his drowsy form between Cas’ legs and against his chest before stepping into the water and sitting down in the tub as well, facing Dean and Castiel.

The blonde let out a content sigh as his body was enveloped in warmth and Castiel and Jimmy just reveled at the moment, gazing at Dean and his soft expression.

This was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: suspension, bondage, subspace, sex toys, prostate massager


	11. March

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER: Love confessions y'all! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this fluffy (and smutty) chapter. Oh, and did I mention art? – Check out [@goldenwingsgirl](http://goldenwingsgirl.tumblr.com/) for better resolution! 😉

“Dean?” Jimmy asked when he heard keys rustling and the front door open, turning around and meeting his boyfriend’s eyes. Dean closed the door behind him and threw his jacket over the back of the chair, toeing off his shoes and smiling brightly. “You’re home already?”

“Yeah…” he breathed out happily, approaching Jimmy to close the distance between them and wrap his arms around his shoulders, hands resting at Jimmy’s nape. Then he leaned in with that dazzling smile of his and Jimmy let his eyes fall closed as he tasted it. They kissed for a few minutes, at first softly and then passionately, chasing each other’s tongues and tasting what they could reach. 

The kiss left Jimmy breathless and he rested his forehead against Dean’s as he took in air, feeling Dean’s panted breaths on his spit-slick lips. It made his skin tingle and he was sure he had goosebumps all over his arms. Grinning widely, Dean whispered, “Hey.”

“Hey.” They sounded like idiots. Stupidly-in-love idiots. “How was your first day?”

“Great,” Dean answered shortly, still grinning from ear to ear.

“Would you mind telling me why you’re so happy?”

“I dunno,” Dean shrugged, his lips brushing against Jimmy’s as he talked. “It was nice. The people were great and they even let me go earlier today since it’s my first day, and I guess I’m just so happy that everything is fine in my life for once.”

“That’s great, Dean. I’m so happy for you,” Jimmy whispered, leaning in to capture Dean’s lips with his own in a sweet kiss once more.

When they parted again, the blonde asked, “Cas home?”

“No, he said he would be at work a bit longer today.”

“Oh,” Dean hummed quietly, leaning in to kiss him again. “Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll be taking a nice shower now and then I’ll take a nap.” He placed one more kiss on Jimmy’s lips before taking a step back and grinning at him wickedly.

God, this man was going to be the death of him one day.

“Wanna come join me?” The blonde asked over his shoulder as he started to walk upstairs, and Jimmy was after him in a heartbeat, catching Dean on the stairs and grabbing him around the middle to drag him towards the bathroom. Dean laughed at his antics and smiled cheekily, pecking the side of Jimmy’s face a few times while letting himself be half carried and half dragged into the bath.

Once they reached it, they got rid of all their clothes and jumped into the shower. It turned out to be more of a making out session than a real shower, as Jimmy backed Dean up against the wall to ravish him with his mouth while water streamed down on them, but they came out clean anyway.

After they had toweled themselves dry, Dean was on him again, pushing Jimmy into the bedroom and making him walk towards their bed until the backs of his knees hit the bed frame and he laid down on it with his legs draping over the edge and his feet still planted on the floor. Chuckling, Dean climbed into the bed and crawled on top of him so that he sat on the tops of his thighs, right beneath his cock, which started to get interested, and leaned down to rest his belly and chest on Jimmy.

“I thought you wanted to take a nap?” He chuckled and buried his hand in Dean’s hair, massaging slightly.

“That’s what I’m about to do,” the blonde said with an amused smile and pecked Jimmy’s lips before turning his head to the side so that he could rest it on his chest, the tips of his hair tickling Jimmy’s chin.

“Naked?”

Mumbling, Dean teased, “What? You think you can’t control yourself like that? As if we’ve never taken a nap together naked…”

“So, what if I _can’t_ control myself?” Jimmy asked, genuinely curious.

“Well, then I get to wake up with your dick inside me, which must be nice…” Dean mused, tracing patterns along the skin of Jimmy’s arm.

Perplexed, Jimmy wrapped his other arm around Dean’s back, its hand resting on the curve of his ass, and took a moment to sort through his thoughts. Did Dean really just admit that he wouldn’t mind if Jimmy took him while he was asleep? “Are you serious?”

Nodding lazily, Dean mumbled, “Yeah. I mean, it’s some kinky stuff, but thinking about it turns me on a bit, so I guess I’d really like that, yeah.”

Dean had no idea that this made Jimmy’s heart pause in his chest. He had struggled for a while with the knowledge that his sleeping boyfriend turned him on and he was afraid that he was some kind of creep or something, but having been given the permission to fulfill his desire… that was something Jimmy thought he’d never get. But Dean was just this amazing and Jimmy didn’t know why he ever doubted his understanding.

“Why? You got that kink?”

The question pulled Jimmy back into reality and he looked at Dean where he rested his chin on his chest to meet his eyes. “I guess I have. I’m not sure, but I feel arousal when I see you asleep, so warm and close next to me.”

It wasn’t easy to swallow down the lust he felt whenever Dean was asleep. Because even with his mouth lolling open and his face smushed against the pillow, Dean was downright stunning. Jimmy wasn’t sure how often he’d found himself watching him snoring softly with his flush warm skin and softly parted lips. Watching the long, tantalizing line of his throat and snuggling closer to him because he just loved the feel of his boyfriend’s sleep-warm body against his own.

When Dean was asleep, his mind was free of all worries and fears and the weight he typically held every day was lifted from his shoulders. His face was always smooth and gorgeous. Sometimes, Jimmy could even watch a few odd twitches, probably because of a nightmare.

“Of course, not always,” Jimmy added, trying to sound less pervert. “After a scene, when you’re in subspace or blissed-out, I still think you’re the most beautiful man I have ever seen, but I don’t want to fuck you then… for whatever reason. It’s only when you truly sleep, or right after you’ve woken up from one.”

There was an intrigued expression on Dean’s face and he nodded once, smiling softly. “Don’t worry, I don’t think it’s weird. Man, there’s crazier stuff out there.”

“Really?”

“Honestly, it’s very exciting.”

“Why?” Jimmy asked, his eyes locked on to Dean’s deep green ones.

“Hhmmm, I dunno… maybe I’ll wake up like that sometime but I won’t know when.” He teased, smiling mischievously, and Jimmy pressed Dean’s body down more firmly against his own with the hand above Dean’s ass. “And it’s good that you have a kink or two yourself, y’know? Makes this easier for me to find things to excite you with.”

“Oh, believe me,” Jimmy chuckled, breathless, “you excite me plenty good already, Dean Winchester.” He tipped his head down, meeting his boyfriend halfway to kiss him again. This one was messy and wet, and also a bit awkward from the position of their heads, but Dean was able to turn Jimmy’s mind into mush with even a kiss from this unfortunate angle.

“Flatterer,” Dean chuckled but his smile was soft and his eyes sincere. “But thanks.”

Jimmy’s smile was so wide, that his cheeks hurt but he didn’t mind. “How about we take that nap now?”

“Yeah, nice suggestion,” Dean turned his head back to the side to rest it on Jimmy’s chest once more, grinning. “Think I’m gonna take you up on it.”

And so they fell into comfortable silence, and Jimmy enjoyed merely stroking Dean’s lower back and massaging his fingertips into his scalp, listening as Dean’s breathing slowed down gradually. Right before he could drift off completely, though, Cas entered the room quietly and smiled fondly at them, setting down a bag next to the door and starting to take off his jacket.

Mumbling into Jimmy’s skin, Dean said, “Hey, Cas,” and he smiled faintly, taking off his shoes with his eyes on the pair in front of him before walking to the bed and draping his clothed body over Dean’s, but not placing down on him.

With a quiet and soft voice, Cas greeted, “Hello, Dean,” breathing the words against the skin behind his ear and smiling when their boyfriend shuddered slightly. His hands slid up Dean’s side, feeling his warmth underneath his fingers, and Castiel almost couldn’t detach himself again. He could see that Dean’s eyes were open, so he asked, “How was your day?”

“Good…” Dean mumbled, sounding content. “Very good.”

“Yeah?” Cas asked, smiling, “Tell me about it.” His hands moved down Dean’s sides again, his fingertips barely touching his skin as he felt gooseflesh beneath them. They stopped at the curve of Dean’s ass, gently resting his palms on each side of his wonderful butt.

His mind had been running wild all day about the fact that their boyfriend was out there meeting people without them and his annoyingly possessive side had been nagging him to do something to make sure Dean understood he was theirs. And his fingers had been itching to touch the blonde since he had left this morning, which was why this here felt so good – feeling him underneath his fingers.

“They were all pretty nice and I get to do what I love on the job, so… I had a great day. You?” Dean crossed his arms on Jimmy’s chest and propped himself up to look at Cas over his shoulder. “Why did you have to stay longer?”

“Paperwork came in last minute and I had to take care of it,” Castiel lied, pecking the spot between Dean’s shoulder blades.

A few nights ago, Jimmy and Cas had been looking for collars for Dean, and based on what they’ve seen and both liked, Cas left work as usual and went to go search for a collar just like those. It was the only way he knew would satiate his need to make Dean theirs – by wearing their collar. And so he told Jimmy to tell their boyfriend he had to stay longer at work to have enough time to find the perfect one.

Which he did – enter the bag that he had brought into the room.

In it was a leather collar in a dark mahogany shade with an O-ring in the front. The top strap holding the ring in place was hand stamped, giving it an embossed look, and stained to highlight the texture. To make it comfortable enough for him to wear all day, there was a soft inner leather lining so that the collar wouldn’t chafe or scrape Dean’s neck.

He couldn’t wait to give it to him.

“Oh,” Dean breathed out, smiling softly.

“So,” Cas stood, detaching his body from his boyfriend’s alluring warmth to start undressing, “was I interrupting something?”

“Nah, Jimmy and I took a shower together and I wanted to take a nap with him until you’re home.”

Castiel’s fingers still itched to touch Dean, but he swallowed down his need and asked, “Do you want to sleep now?”

Shaking his head softly, the blonde said, “It can wait.” Then he turned his head to look at Jimmy and asked, “Unless you want to sleep?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Turning back around to meet Cas’ eyes, Dean grinned and took in his body from head to toe. “What you got in mind, Sir?”

Opening his belt playfully, Castiel smirked and cocked a brow, “I’ve been thinking about you all day, Dean.” His voice was low and raspy.

Feigning surprise, Dean whispered “Yeah?” in a playfully bashful tone and grinned cheekily.

“All day,” he declared, zipping his pants open and sliding them off his legs before kicking them on top of his discarded shirt and jacket. In merely the bright orange briefs that he had chosen in a hurry this morning, Cas bent down to take off his socks, saying, “It was unbearable.”

When he straightened up and looked at Dean again, the blonde had a smirk and hungry eyes meeting his gaze. “Why?”

“Because everywhere you go, heads turn to stare at you, Dean. They want you. And today, I couldn’t be there to tell them that you were ours. It drove me crazy.” Slowly, he walked towards Dean and Jimmy once more, his eyes locked on to Dean’s.

“What I can do…?” The blonde asked, sounding distracted. His eyes flicked down to Castiel’s crotch and he grinned as Dean licked his lips. He knew that those briefs made his cock look huge. Well, according to their boyfriend, they both had some fantastic girth and length.

Even with the lust swirling in his stomach at Dean’s hungry gaze, this time Cas’ voice was honest and steady as he confessed, “I need you.”

Looking at his eyes once again, Dean nodded, whispering, “I can– I can be your Sub, that’s no–”

He was about to crawl off of Jimmy and Cas interrupted him, holding out a hand to stop him from moving. “No, I only need you. Just the way you are right now. Stay like that, if it’s comfortable for you both.”

Nodding eagerly, Dean turned back to Jimmy, who nodded and said, “I’m more than fine down here.” And once he’d gotten his permission, the blonde laid back down on his chest and rested carefully on Jimmy, his arms next to his head, hands buried in dark raven hair. He even lifted his hips a bit to display his naked ass and Castiel smiled fondly.

It was so sweet how Dean was always eager to please and be good for them and Cas just loved it. The blonde was by far the best thing that had ever happened to him and he still found himself speechless at his luck sometimes.

“You know, for you two, I’m always there for the taking. Whenever, wherever. It’s my way of saying that I care for you.”

At that, Castiel’s heart swelled impossibly and he kneeled down in front of Dean’s ass, sliding his hands up both his thighs. “Oh, Dean…” he whispered, gripping the meat of his thighs and placing a kiss to the skin, “thank you, dear.”

Then, he bent over his boyfriend’s back and started placing wet and open-mouthed kisses along his spine, and his skin was so wonderfully warm under Castiel’s mouth, that he found it difficult to detach himself, preferring instead to drag and brush his lips and tongue along whatever skin he could reach.

Trailing down his back and lower to his thighs once again, Cas wanted to mark Dean, stake his claim, and leave pink bruises of his love all over the pale skin beneath his lips. But he managed to keep his possessiveness under control and remained gentle, lapping at the sweet taste of his boyfriend’s thigh and listening to the soft and breathy sounds coming from his mouth.

Though, after a while, this wasn’t enough any longer, so Cas let his hands roam over Dean’s lower back and ass for a moment before tracing down his crack with his fingertips and swiping drily over his pucker. Dean sighed at the sensation, encouraging Cas to go on. His cock was slowly starting to fill out as he teased his boyfriend, watching as his touch made goosebumps erupt on his skin.

Without knowing what led him to do it, his thumb caught on Dean’s rim as it circled it for a moment and tugged on it, the sensation sending pleasure up Dean’s spine and he gasped. The reaction was beautiful and Cas suddenly wanted to make him giddy with lust, so he let his thumb tug at his rim once more and Dean moaned, pressing his face into Jimmy’s chest and arching his spine.

When he withdrew to open the drawer and take out the bottle of lubricant, Dean made a sound close to a whine at the loss of Castiel’s body heat, but as soon as his hands took hold of the lube, he was back behind the blonde and gripping his thighs with both hands, smirking mischievously.

He knew exactly how to turn him into putty.

So, Cas started to playfully press his lips against Dean’s plump cheeks, testing their give with his nose, and slowly making his way to the crevice, only to nestle his way between them as he simultaneously grabbed both of his cheeks and pulled them apart to place a gentle kiss right to his hole without any warning. At that, Dean’s body went completely stiff to process the pair of lips pressing a kiss to his pucker before a slow shiver ran through him.

Smiling triumphantly, Cas pulled Dean open even more with his thumbs and placed another kiss on top of it just as gently. At the following kisses, Dean’s body relaxed after having adjusted to the sensation, but Castiel didn’t want to stop there yet, no.

Because Dean’s surprised reaction to his lips told Castiel that no one had ever done this before and he’d be damned if he didn’t show him just how good this could feel.

Their boyfriend’s surprised yelp was therefore easily predictable as Cas’ hot, wet tongue swiped from his testicles all the way up to the top of Dean’s crack. And the way Dean’s fingers flexed and fisted the soft duvet underneath his hands and how he spread his already slightly trembling legs wider where they were propped on the mattress next to Jimmy was just such a delightful reaction, that Castiel couldn’t help himself but place another wet kiss to his hole before he let his tongue drag back down over Dean’s taint to his balls again, sucking each one into his mouth deliberately. 

Dean’s hips bucked as he moaned softly, and Cas never wanted to rim someone as bad as he did then. So, he gave in to his allure and pulled Dean’s asscheeks as far apart as possible, seeking out his waiting rim once more, though not to place a kiss to it this time, instead to give it a long and rough lick without any warning, at which Dean’s back arched at the same time as a loud and rumbling moan was pulled out of him.

The blonde breathed out a quiet “fuck” and tried to squirm away from the alien sensation, his body flushing as arousal shot through him, but Cas kept him in place with his firm grip on his butt, licking in deep and greedy because the way Dean bucked his hips and how his hole clenched and unclenched around nothing in particular at the anticipation spurred him on just as much as the sounds he pulled out of his boyfriend and his amazing rich taste.

His body opened up beautifully to Castiel and allowed his tongue to probe and taste and lick and swipe into his core. After giving Dean some time to adjust, he speared his tongue, stiffening the muscle, and pushed it past his rim to start eating him out, at which his boyfriend let out another muffled groan, his thighs trembling as he reflexively clenched down around the intrusion. “Fuck! _Cas_ …”

Stopping for a moment to make sure Dean was fine, he asked, “You said that you’d let me practice felching on you, giving you a rim job is almost the same. Is that still okay?”

“Fuck, yes! Yeah, _please_ , don’t stop!”

With a sly smirk, Castiel dove back in, suctioning his mouth over Dean’s rim and thrusting his tongue into his hole again and again, reducing the blonde to a trembling, blabbering mess. He was getting rougher by the minute as his tongue fucked into Dean, who started to move his hips back into Cas. After some time, he stopped thrusting and instead closed his lips over his rim to give it a suck that elicited a wonderful yelp from Dean. And so he alternated between licking, thrusting, and sucking, his teeth nipping at the soft, puffy edge, while Dean was grinding back against Castiel’s face to seek out deeper penetration and Cas felt that his cock was already rock hard in his underwear at his boyfriend’s responsiveness that had him growling into his hole in pleasure, low and long.

He knew that Dean wanted to come, Cas saw how hard he was and how much he was leaking whenever he lifted his hips to grind back, and he also knew that he wanted his cock, judging by the way he had gazed at his crotch before and how he pressed back against his tongue, trying to take it in deeper. Although, Castiel had to admit that his tongue could be pretty long if he wanted it to be.

Still, it didn’t reach Dean’s pleasure spot, so Cas retracted a hand from his ass to stick his fingers into his mouth and get them all slick and wet with saliva. Then, he pushed his tongue back inside and started to ease in one spit-slick digit alongside his pink muscle, feeling around and probing at Dean’s smooth and soft walls, stretching him until he could add another one and another one until he had four fingers plus his tongue inside Dean. His muscles clamped and fluttered pleasingly around his embedded fingers, driving Castiel’s increasing desire to bury his throbbing cock inside and claim him until Dean screamed.

He was thorough enough with his prepping, that, when he finally pulled his fingers out and gave Dean’s pucker one last kiss before withdrawing from him, Dean’s hole was open and empty, clenching reflexively on nothingness as he waited to be filled.

A low whine left Dean’s mouth and he turned his red face to stare at Cas with big, pleading eyes. “Hey, shhh,” Castiel soothed, stroking his thigh reassuringly as he pulled down his briefs to free his leaking cock. “Shhh, I got you, Dean.”

When the blonde rested his head back on Jimmy’s chest, breathing harshly, he grabbed the lubricant and coated his cock with it, shortly meeting Jimmy’s eyes to ask if he was still okay with their position.

“Yeah, I’m all good. Dean is warm comfy on me, and it’s not like this is the first time I’m underneath him like that.” Jimmy was stroking Dean’s side gently as his other hand massaged his scalp, his eyes focused back on their boyfriend waiting to be taken.

With a nod, Cas climbed onto the bed as well, somewhat straddling Jimmy’s legs – although he didn’t touch them – and positioning his knees on either side of Dean’s waist, who lifted his hips again, and took himself into hand to guide the blunt head of his cock against Dean’s waiting hole before pushing his hips against his boyfriend and sliding all the way inside with a long and deep moan.

This was just what he’d been needing all day.

Once fully buried, he leaned forward on his hands, which were propped up on each side of Jimmy’s middle and Dean’s shoulders, and draped his body over Dean’s, though not enough to truly lean down on them – he was not putting any extra weight on Jimmy since he kept himself up on his hands and knees. After giving the blonde a moment to adjust, Cas retracted his hips a fraction to pull out of him halfway, before thrusting back inside again and again.

His pace wasn’t slow, but it wasn’t fast either as he leisurely fucked Dean, sucking dark bruises into the skin of his nape to satisfy his possessive side. “You’re _mine_. You’re ours, Dean. You belong to only Jimmy and me,” he hissed against Dean’s back while giving a particularly jarring thrust.

Castiel had never needed someone as much as he did Dean and he also never wanted to make someone _his_ this much. He knew he had a problem with sharing – though he was proud of himself that he could just watch his twin take Dean without wanting to rip his throat out, but that was something else – and that he got possessive pretty fast, but it had never been this bad. And as weird as it might have been, Cas wasn’t one to get jealous fast but when it came to Dean…

This man was everything to him and no one else should just so much as get the idea that they could have a chance with him.

So, with every thrust, he made sure to make Dean understand exactly that. Made him feel his desire for him and how much he needed him. And showing him who he belonged to and that no one else except him and Jimmy could ever make him feel this good and himself.

And when Dean’s body trembled underneath him before tensing as he was pushed over the edge, Cas kept going, praising him and kissing the marks he had sucked into his skin while the blonde shuddered and gasped as his release swept over him, leaving him weak and panting.

Dean's body locked down on Castiel with the waves of his orgasm again and again, and it was enough to coax his own release right out of him. He came with a groan, stilling as he covered Dean’s insides with his hot sperm and claimed him in the most primal way, buried as deep as he could go. When his breathing calmed and his heart slowed down to normal, he sagged above Dean and rested his forehead to his sweaty nape, kissing his skin.

After a moment, Cas lifted himself up again and carefully pulled out of Dean, crawling out of the bed and hurrying to kneel down in front of his ass once more and to watch his cum slip out of his swollen and pink hole. His mind grew foggy from the lust he felt at this sight and he couldn’t decide if he wanted to lick it up or finger it back inside, though he did slide one finger from Dean’s balls up to a very slick perineum and into his open entrance, feeling his own seed.

His possessiveness flared up again and before he realized what he was doing, Castiel pressed his mouth to it and lapped inside, darting his tongue into his boyfriend and tasting what he spilled inside of him, at which Dean let out a long and sensual moan. He was loose and soft and yielded beautifully to Cas’ mouth and the piercing stretch of his tongue, as he ate out his own cum from Dean’s hole, his own flavor exploding over his tastebuds.

It was hard to keep from losing his mind and concentrate on anything besides Dean’s twitching muscles under his palms as he pulled his cheeks apart once more and the whiny sounds slipping past his lips as he started to get over-sensitive. Especially when Cas dipped in deep and his scruff scraped against the tender skin of his perineum and testicles.

Still, Castiel couldn’t keep himself from kissing up to his crevice before putting his lips right to his boyfriend’s entrance again and sucking unashamedly from the outside just enough to coax a bit more of himself out of Dean to taste the delicious mix of them both, forcing an aborted yelp out of him as he helplessly clenched the sheets in his hands and struggled for composure.

His reaction was enough to make Cas rumble his delight against his ass, and he started licking again, even greedier than before, and Dean cried out in ecstasy. His thighs quivered and his hips twitched, as if he couldn’t decide whether to rock onto Cas’ tongue or away from it at the overstimulation. It might have been rough, but when the blonde fucked backed onto his tongue and keened, letting out sounds close to sobs, Cas knew he was reveling in the attention given to him.

A steady stream of moans and whimpers were coming from Dean as Castiel forced him to endure his tongue eating him out with the grip on his ass and enjoyed the feel of the slackened grip of Dean’s sphincter from taking him and the taste of himself coming from it. Knowing that Dean still carried his essence inside his body, that he was still marked from the inside, and that only he and Jimmy had the pleasure to enjoy Dean like this, finally satiated his possessiveness.

He kept going, though, until Dean was arching his back desperately and grunting, broken breaths panting past his lips, and Castiel let go of his butt with one hand to knead his thumb into his rim with his tongue still buried deep inside. After a moment, he also let go with the other hand and mirrored the movement of his left with his thumb. When Dean’s body started to tremble and his breathing got harsher, Cas knew he was going to come again, so he pulled his tongue out and slipped his finger inside to aim directly for his prostate.

Once located, he began circling it expertly, tapping and rubbing it in a massaging rhythm, and Dean yelped, the muscles of his ass tightening around the digit as another orgasm washed over him.

Smirking, Castiel kept applying pressure to the spot to milk his prostate and he watched as Dean’s whole body twitched and his cock steadily leaked white, milk-like fluid. When Dean tried to withdraw the stimulation, sobbing and pleading, Cas placed a hand on his back right at the slope where his shoulders began their enticing curve towards his ass and pushed him down on Jimmy to keep him in place. And instead of rubbing and circling his prostate, Castiel pressed down on the spot with his finger and just left it there, then watched astounded as Dean’s balls tightened once more, his walls clamping down on his finger, and his cock gave another twitch as the blonde came with a shout of surprise. His cock was soft, though, since his orgasms were too close to one another and there wasn't enough time for him to get erected once more. And if that wasn't just the hottest thing Castiel had ever witnessed.

Cas let go of him and pulled out his finger, and Dean collapsed onto Jimmy, who’s entire stomach was covered with their boyfriend’s ejaculation.

Carefully, he climbed back into the bed and laid down next to them, cradling Dean’s head in his hands and meeting his eyes. His face was flushed and tear-streamed, his hair dampened from sweating and his eyes glazed. He looked exhausted and absolutely ravished and it was all Castiel’s doing.

“Did you just have another orgasm?” Jimmy asked, stroking Dean’s side.

“‘m not sure…” the blonde slurred, looking at them through hooded eyes. “It was so intense… but not as intense as the first – second one, y’know, the one before… like an explosion, no slowly tightening knot that gets tighter the closer y’get to being pushed over the edge… just flat out happened without me knowing about it.”

Smiling fondly at him, Cas asked, “But did you like it?”

Dean’s fat and goofy smile said more than any words could and when he nodded and hummed contently, collapsing back on top of Jimmy with his face smashed into his chest, Cas and Jimmy just chuckled while Castiel took in the mess between their legs and bodies, feeling a bit bad about the fact that his twin didn’t get to come, although he looked way too pleased with Dean’s state to be worried about that. And as if knowing what he was thinking about, Dean mumbled, “Why do I even bother to shower with you guys around…?”

Laughing, Jimmy said, “Well, you know one of us is always around the corner wanting you.”

“Dude, ‘bout that…” Dean lifted his head a bit to look at Jimmy, “you’re poking my belly,” and whacked his bare arm playfully. “You wanna take this ass for another ride?”

Jimmy shook his head with a small smile and whispered, “It sounds very tempting, but you need a rest first, Dean.”

“There’s no such thing like too much sex, Jimmy, y’know?”

“You still have to rest, though, because you seem like you’re already half asleep.”

“Okay… ‘m just offering…” Dean mumbled, getting comfortable on top of Jimmy, even though the mess of plenty of his come was starting to cool on their skin and getting sticky, and turned his head to the other side to rest it on his chest once more. “Just slide in whenever…”

Castiel and Jimmy waited for Dean to fall asleep to gently roll him onto his back and rest his body next to Jimmy’s. Cas went into the bathroom to get a washcloth and start cleaning Dean and Jimmy and once that was done, they snuggled up to their boyfriend, throwing the covers over them and hugging him close, and got some rest as well.

The first thing Dean registered was warmth. All around him. But especially behind his back and he subconsciously pressed back against that warmth. He also had the feeling that he was grinning, though he wasn’t sure since sleep still had him under its claws, trying to pull him under, but awareness slowly started to form and Dean felt… _something._

While slowly regaining consciousness, Dean reacted to that something by rocking back and he realized that it felt nice. And a moment later, he opened his eyes and stared at Castiel’s face right in front of his, smiling and with intense, deep blue eyes, as he finally registered what was going on.

Blinking a few times, he pressed his ass back into Jimmy and felt his hot and hard cock sliding deeper into him and he sighed. It was also then that he realized that he was truly aroused and his own cock was hard as well where it was trapped between his thigh and mattress.

Grinning lazily, Dean rocked back on Jimmy, who wasn’t moving and merely spooning him, and pulled his hips back, only to push them into Jimmy again, impaling himself on his dick. Behind him, Jimmy moaned and his mouth suctioned over the skin of his nape, where he remembered Cas giving it his attention to before, and his hands sank into the mattress underneath Dean and came around his middle, gripping his side and belly and pulling Dean even further against him. His head tossed back against Jimmy and he couldn't contain the breathy cry he let out as the blue-eyed began pounding into him, hard.

And Dean just took it like the greedy bottom he was and allowed Jimmy to take his pleasure from his body after he had been so patient and sweet.

Though, after a moment of vigorous fucking, Jimmy nuzzled the spot underneath Dean’s ear and grunted, “Do you know what it does to me?” He kept thrusting into him, accentuating every word with his dick shoving between Dean’s cheeks and inside him. “Waking you up like this? I’ve fantasied about easing your boxers off while you sleep and slide in but doing it is so much better than any dream. Do you know that you gasped in your sleep when I pushed into you and you subconsciously realized what was happening?”

Dean moaned, placing his hands above Jimmy’s to use them for purchase to meet his thrusts, and he felt like he forgot how to breathe because his entire awareness was only focused on that glorious dick impaling him, working him even more open than he already had been after Castiel.

“It feels so good, Dean. You’re so warm and pliant and I can’t get enough of it.” And with that, he came inside of Dean, adding to what Cas had left behind, and he realized that Jimmy must have been fucking him for a while now.

In front of him, Castiel snuggled closer to him and kissed his forehead as his hands simultaneously sought out Dean’s cock underneath the sheets and started stroking him to completion as soon as they found it.

God, this felt like heaven…

It didn’t take long for him to come as well with Jimmy still inside and Cas leisurely stroking him through the waves of his orgasm and he just let his eyes flutter closed again, reveling in the feel of being taken care of so nicely.

Then he felt Castiel’s lips against his mouth and he hummed as he started to kiss him deeply while Jimmy pulled Dean’s lax body into the cradle of his own, his warm hands roaming every available inch of his skin that his palms could reach. And Dean melted into the soft touches and practically purred against Cas’ lips as his boyfriends lavished him with attention.

“How’d I deserve you two…?” he mumbled, smiling softly as Cas pressed a kiss to the underside of his chin.

“How do we deserve _you_ , Dean?” Castiel whispered, kissing his lips once more.

“I’ll always be yours. For as long as you’ll have me… even though I don’t know why anyone would ever want that.”

Locking his intense and hard eyes on Dean and staring at him with that piercing kind of look that said he hung the moon while also glaring at him with an almost angry look. It made Dean squirm and advert his eyes while Jimmy’s hands curled around Dean's ribs, holding him close.

With a slow and admonishing voice, Castiel said, “Watch what you’re saying, I do not take kindly to anyone talking down to the man I love. Even you, Dean Winchester.”

Dean’s heart stopped at that, his mouth dropping open in bewilderment as his eyes welled up uncontrollably. His lips formed words but they were lost on his tongue as his voice failed to function. “Wha–”

“I’m in love with you, Dean,” Cas confessed in a soft tone, his eyes still intense and piercing into Dean’s and he felt as if the man was staring right at his soul.

Behind him, Jimmy propped up on his elbows to lean over him and meet his eyes as well, whispering, “I love you too, Dean. You’re everything and I’ll never want anyone the way I want you.”

What he felt at that moment was indescribable and he had also never felt like it before, not even close. It was all so overwhelming, so much so, that the only thing he could do was let his tears run wild while he stared at the men surrounding him. Jimmy had pulled out sometime during their confessions and he was now gently rolling Dean onto his back, each of them on one side of him as they hovered above him, smiling happily and stroking their hands lovingly across his body.

They were giving him time to process, he realized, and he sniffled once, trying to get a hold of his emotions.

Dean had always been afraid of being vulnerable like this. Telling someone he loved them only to be let down by them and get his heart broken, which was why he’d never let himself fall in love with anyone in the first place before.

And that was what was so shocking. Along their way, getting to know each other and moving in together, Dean had fallen in love with them without even noticing. It came so slow and natural that it wasn’t such a frightening thing anymore, though he knew that he’d be storming out of the room in panic were it not Jimmy and Cas. But he wasn’t afraid of them, he wasn’t afraid of who he was with them and for once, he wasn’t afraid of life and being hurt. Only because of them.

He owed them everything.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, his voice rough and quiet with emotion. And once he said it, he couldn’t stop. “I love you. Both. I love you the same. I love you so much. You are the first ones I ever loved. Ever will. God, I love you…” A tear dropped down to his chest and when he concentrated on them again, he saw that Cas was crying silently and Jimmy’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “I love you, only you.”

The two looked so unbelievably happy, that it made Dean’s chest swell painfully and he wrapped his arms around their shoulders to pull them down and cuddle them as close as possible, kissing them and whispering that he loved them again and again until Cas stopped crying and Jimmy’s tears were gone.

“You two and Sam are everything to me. Please don’t ever let me go.”

“Not even in my worst dreams, Dean,” Jimmy said, giving him a kiss to his neck.

Quietly, Cas breathed against his lips, “Not in all eternity.”

They cuddled for a long time, soaking in Dean’s warmth and processing what had happened just minutes ago.

Dean loved them.

_Dean loved them!_

Jimmy couldn’t fathom the love he felt for the man and how much this confession had meant to him. He truly meant when he said that Dean was everything to him. And knowing that his – and Castiel’s – feelings were returned was the greatest thing in the world.

After they had spent a while in bed together, they decided to clean themselves up once more and went into the bathroom together. Then, Castiel led him back into their bedroom with an excited face and said, “We have a gift for you, Dean.”

Stopping, the blonde turned to look at them with big eyes and teased, “Is it another pair of panties? Admit it, you can’t get enough of my ass.” His grin was wolfish and his eyes glistened with mischief.

Cas chuckled, lightly shaking his head and saying, “No, I think we got that covered by now,” while walking towards the door where he had put the bag next to it when he’d come in.

And truly, they had. When they had first taken Dean out for shopping and buying toys and other stuff for their love life, Jimmy and Cas had made sure to buy him enough lingerie to cover his beautiful ass and cock with. So now, Dean’s drawer was filled with lace and satin and it still made him blush every time he opened it to fish around for ‘normal’ underwear.

“Okay,” Dean hummed, staring at them expectantly.

With the bag in his hand and a soft smile on his lips, Cas turned around and walked back towards Dean and Jimmy, his eyes locked on to their boyfriend. “Close your eyes,” he ordered with a soft voice, placing his hands on Dean’s shoulders to guide him in front of the mirror in their room.

Obeying, the blonde closed his eyes and waited as Castiel pulled out the collar of the bag and met Jimmy’s gaze in a silent question if he was fine with this as well. He nodded once and Cas opened the buckle and gently placed the leather around Dean, who gasped softly at the feel of something being fastened around his neck, a smile starting to form on his lips while Cas secured the collar so that it wasn’t choking Dean but also not too loose.

Once the beautiful leather collar sat perfectly around Dean, Castiel leaned in from behind him and brushed his mouth against his ear as he whispered, “Open them again,” into it, making their boyfriend shudder as he slowly opened his eyes again and looked at himself in the mirror.

Dean looked absolutely mesmerizing in this collar and Jimmy felt a strong wave of love and possessiveness at seeing him like this – wearing _their_ collar. Something that symbolized his submissiveness, his devotion, and love to _them_. It told everyone that he belonged to someone; to Jimmy and Castiel.

As he glanced at his twin, he could see the spark in his eyes and the loving expression with which he was staring at Dean and his neck. As he was staring at what was _theirs._

Happy. That was how Dean looked when he took in his own form in the mirror, his eyes focused on the leather around him. He was smiling brightly and reached out a hand to trace the edge of the collar with his fingertips, his breathing labored as he felt the texture of it underneath his skin. “Wow… that’s…” Rolling his shoulders to test how it felt and making all the muscles in his back ripple wonderfully underneath his smooth skin as he tried to find his wording. He turned around and met their eyes, saying, “It’s perfect… and it’s–it’s for me?”

“Of course,” Jimmy confirmed with a fond smile.

Placing his hand on his arm, Castiel asked, “Do you want to wear it for us?” His eyes were intense and locked on Dean’s.

“In public?”

“Yes?”

Nodding enthusiastically, Dean answered, “Hell yeah! I’d be honored to wear it for you. Show everyone that you own me.”

“Not in the literal sense, of course, but thank you so much, Dean. It means a lot to us,” Cas breathed out happily, wrapping his arms around Dean and kissing him deeply.

“I’m yours,” Dean panted between kisses and Cas growled, gripping him tighter.

“Yes, ours.”

  


When they broke apart, the blonde didn’t take much time to catch his breath before grabbing Jimmy and kissing him as well, making him _taste_ his love. “Thank you,” Dean whispered as he took in a few breaths, looking at them with honest and open eyes, “thank you for trusting me with this. Believing that I’m worthy of your love.”

“If not you, who else could ever make us feel this… fulfilled?”

They stood there for a while longer, basking in this special moment, before Castiel said that he had also bought some cherry pie that he could put in the oven to reheat, at which Dean practically beamed at him, running down the stairs and opening the fridge to take out the pastry.

As soon as it came out of the oven, hot and smelling absolutely mouthwatering, Dean hummed and took his fork to lift some crust and filling to his mouth. He groaned as his eyes closed in bliss, completely unabashedly stunning – the way he was just sitting there in his bare skin and collar, enjoying such a small thing as pie with all of his self. Jimmy’s eyes instantly fell to Dean’s mouth and watched rapturously as his lips and throat worked around the oversized bite, succumbing to the moment and leaning forward to capture Dean’s mouth in a heated kiss, even though it was still filled with pie.

After that, Castiel and Jimmy dug in as well and the two took turns kissing their boyfriend, smiling so brightly that it was hard to even eat the hot filling.

Life was fucking fantastic right then. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: anal fingering, felching, rimming, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, consensual somnophilia, handjobs, collars


	12. March

“Ha!” Dean exclaimed triumphantly, turning around to face Jimmy with a wicked smile while pointing his cue stick at him, “gotcha!”

Cas had already lost the game, leaving only Jimmy and Dean to continue while he watched intently, occasionally sipping his beer, and Dean was now merely one ball away from winning as he had just expertly sunken another one of Jimmy’s.

Teasingly, he leaned a bit towards his boyfriends and said, “I thought you said you were good at this.”

Next to him, Castiel chuckled, taking a sip of his beer before correcting, “I never said I was. I know I’m terrible, but Jimmy had usually been a pretty good player.”

“Well, how could I have known that you were _this_ good? You were truly playing it down when you said you were ‘okay’ at pool.”

Smiling cheekily, he quipped, “Maybe I was just saying that to make you agree to this in the first place. Didn’t wanna intimidate you before it even started.”

“You little liar you,” Cas mused, pointing an accusing finger at him and meeting his gaze with sparkling eyes. They were dark – well, maybe because they were in a dimly lit pub, but two beers in, and their constant teasing had created that exhilarating spark in his eyes that always managed to make Dean weak in the knees.

The three of them were on a date and since they had decided to skip the part where they go to a romantic restaurant and have a nice candlelight dinner as these stereotypical people do in those cheesy chick-flick rom-coms, Dean had suggested that they go to a pub and see if they have a pool table or something like that.

They have already had burgers and fries and he was absolutely okay with this being their date. He enjoyed having easy conversations with his boyfriends and drinking a few beers while playing pool, which, honestly, Cas sucked ass in. Jimmy was pretty alright but sometimes, his strokes weren’t as precise, which made this a pretty easy game to Dean. But the only thing that was important was that they were having fun together and they certainly did. It wasn’t important to win, not at all, but it was still amusing to tease them about it within certain limits.

Dean was currently drinking his third beer, which was also going to be his last. Back when they had talked about rules and everything, Castiel had made clear that Dean nourish himself and keep a healthy lifestyle and had set the rule that he was only allowed to drink when they were either drinking with him or giving him allowance to, with a maximum of three bottles of beer or one shot of the harder stuff.

And of course, if following those rules made them happy and a little easier for them to assure his well-being, Dean would do so. He could understand that hearing about his past was shocking to them and he wanted to let them know that he was okay, even if it meant he had to stick to three bottles and only drink whenever they were with him just so they knew for sure that something like that wouldn’t happen again.

Since Dean had picked the place for this date, they had agreed that Jimmy and Cas would decide what to do next time. And because they were now all working during the week and Saturday was already their play session day and Sunday time for laziness and relaxing – where they mostly snuggled up together in blankets on the couch in front of the TV, Cas reading, Dean watching, and Jimmy doing whatever – they decided to make room for dates or the likes on Friday nights.

“We should give you a spanking for that,” Cas rasped into his ear in a low and seductive voice and Dean jumped, only now realizing that he had zoned out while thinking.

Lust started to pool low in his gut and a shiver ran down his spine at the images in his head.

Not so long ago, Castiel and Jimmy decided to teach him a lesson after he had stupidly questioned his place in their lives and asked if they really wanted him still. To do that, they had prepared a punishment for him where he had gotten his shoulders and arms bound with rough rope and his hands tied behind his back. A very large rubber had been secured between his feet with the same rope, as Cas had also tied his ankles together and positioned him in the center of the living space, so that, if he stopped tensing his body and kneeling with his torso slightly bent towards the floor to stay the way they had left him in, he would’ve impaled himself on the dildo as soon as he lowered his ass just a fraction to relax his muscles. He hadn’t been prepped before, but the rubber had been coated with enough lube to prevent from damaging him in any way, even though it wouldn’t have changed the pain of the stretch at being speared open by that thing.

The two had sat down and gone about their usual routine, occasionally asking if Dean had finally changed his mind and accepted the fact that someone loved him – that _they_ loved him – and that his place in their lives was what had been missing all along. After about forty minutes of straining his every muscle to keep from sinking down on the rubber and one almost-impalement, Dean had finally relented and accepted the fact that they were telling him the truth and didn’t just say it because they felt sorry for him. Jimmy and Cas had freed him of the rope and praised him for being good, laid him down on the couch with them, and continued praising as Castiel had massaged his thighs and calves – which had been quivering for quite a while from exhaustion – and asked him to never belittle their love for him.

And Dean had learned his lesson that night and never once thought like that again afterward.

Replaying it all in his mind now made him feel warm and cared for, but also fucking aroused. And when he heard about punishments, he always thought about _that_ or the spanking sessions they’ve already had. So, those words truly did things to him and he shuddered.

“Next time, we should play darts ‘cause I know Cas got some impressive aim.” Jimmy threw his twin a knowing look, waggling his eyebrows in a way that let Dean know exactly what he was thinking about. Apparently, Cas didn’t only have good aim when it came to nailing his pleasure spot in whatever position they found themselves in, but also when it came to hitting a red one on a board.

“At least I had when I was younger, I haven’t been out like this in years and it is possible that my skills have gotten a little rusty,” Cas said, sounding slightly timid about it, which would have been all kinds of cute if Dean wasn’t still so aroused by his previous threat.

It didn’t help that he could still feel the marks Castiel had left behind on his skin last night when they had had rough sex. He had scratches on his forearms from Cas’ nails, as well as on his back along his spine and bruises on his inner thighs from Cas sucking and biting his tender skin. The scratches had been just deep enough to raise his skin and keep it irritated for a day or two because his boyfriend had gotten the sudden urge to mark him up and claim him – _God,_ he really loved when they got all territorial about him like that – even though Dean had already promised to keep wearing the collar.

He loved the weight of it around his neck, always knowing that he was marked as theirs and that people would know. It gave him a confidence boost, so he saw no reason as to why he shouldn’t wear it all the time.

When he heard the clicking of two balls colliding, Dean was pulled out of his reverie and watched as Jimmy sank one of his balls, though that didn’t change the fact that he was still outnumbered by Dean’s. There was a smirk on Jimmy’s face when he looked at him, placing down his cue stick and saying, “I’ll go take a leak.” He met Cas’ gaze and asked, “Could you bring me another beer, please?” before turning back to Dean and pointing a finger at him teasingly, “Don’t you dare try to cheat while I’m gone.”

Lifting his hands into the air to show his innocence, Dean smiled and said, “I’m a fair player, don’t worry.”

Then Jimmy walked towards the restrooms and disappeared from his sight. He picked up his cue stick and chalked it before taking it in his right hand and positioning his left on the playfield. Bending down over the short rail and leaning his body slightly over the table, Dean examined from which angle he would have to take his shot to land the ball he was aiming for in one of the sockets. But before he could even move his right arm back to do exactly that, he felt a body being pressed against his rear – someone’s crotch pushing against his ass and a torso hovering over his back.

As soon as the person laid their hands on his hips, Dean froze as he realized that it wasn’t one of the twins. When he let go of the cue and straightened his back to turn around and yell at the person to back the fuck off, he was spun around as if he was some sort of lightweight and suddenly standing chest to chest with this complete stranger. He opened his mouth to tell the tall guy exactly what he thought about this little assault, but when his gaze landed on the guy’s eyes, he froze completely.

They were blue. But not the kind of blue he’d come to love. Not those beautiful eyes holding such intensity and adoration. Not burning azure. He was well accustomed to this kind of blue, though, even if it had been years since he last saw them.

Those eyes had the exact same shade of icy and grey-blue as Alastair did and it shocked him to see them so close.

The stranger had the audacity to lean his face into his as if waiting to be kissed and Dean had a moment to be furious about that before he felt a presence next to them.

“Please remove your hands from him before I make you," Castiel growled, his voice low and dangerous, and Dean would have been impressed if he wasn’t so distracted by that guy staring him into his eyes as if trying to look inside him. It was disconcerting and it made Dean want to crawl in on himself and hide away.

Without taking his eyes off of Dean, the stranger said, “I don’t see a reason why,” in a steady and calm voice and Dean wanted to punch him in his stupid face. But his hands were still on his hips, his face was still way too close to his and his breath smelled like whiskey and Dean knew it would be stupid to start a fight.

Next to him, Castiel seemed to ignore that altogether as he let out an angry huff and growled, “You take your hands off my boyfriend right now or you’ll find your testicles detached from your body, if you so desire.”

Listening to Cas threatening someone with physical violence made Dean aware of the arousal that had been there earlier and was still lingering within him, and he started to feel odd. All he wanted was to spit his repugnance into this guy’s face and make out with Castiel, but in reality, he was still unable to move.

For the first time in what seemed like a long while, the stranger took his eyes off of him and stared at Cas with an amused expression, but not before he let his gaze linger on the collar around Dean’s neck. “What? You own him?”

Now with those eyes off, Dean was finally able to turn his head and look at Cas, and he had half a second to watch anger and hatred cross his handsome features as his eyes darkened and his hands clenched into fists at his sides, before a large, warm hand wrapped around his wrist and pulled Dean away from the stranger, dragging him out of the pub. 

Only when they stopped did Dean realize that it was Jimmy and he furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at him questioningly.

“Wha–”

“Dean?!” He turned his head and saw that Cas was jogging towards them, his eyes big and concerned. His hands framed his face as soon as he reached them, like a parent would to examine a kid after it fell on the face, and usually, Dean would have complained that he wasn’t a baby and could damn well take care of himself. But right now, his touch was soothing and his eyes calmed the storm inside of him.

They had the right shade of blue. So bright; like a clear, deep sea in spring.

For a moment, Cas looked like he was about to bombard him with a ton of questions concerning his well-being, but then he let his hands slide down and laced his fingers with Dean’s as Jimmy took his other hand into his, and he let out a breath. “Let’s go home.”

Dean was totally on board with that.

The door fell shut a little louder than usual but Cas couldn’t care less. All that mattered at this moment was Dean and the way he looked at them. There was something dark in his eyes – a playful spark – and it was exhilarating to be looked at with those orbs. “Fuck, Cas…” the blonde mused, curling his hand around Cas’ hip, “you almost started a fight right there.” And with that, he leaned into Castiel and smashed his mouth against his open and waiting one to kiss him messily.

This entire evening, Cas hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what they had done last night and all the marks he left behind on that glorious body. Watching Dean play pool and be absolutely in his element – joking, teasing, being breathtakingly hot in those tight pants – just added fuel to the fire burning low in his stomach. His desire for Dean had been extra strong tonight and now that the initial shock had disappeared and Castiel was sure that their boyfriend was fine, all that was left was this fervent desire and arousal.

So he kissed back with everything he had, and soon enough, they found themselves panting for air before Jimmy stepped in and claimed Dean’s lips as well. All three of them started to toe-off their shoes and while they took turns kissing the blonde senseless, they started walking up the stairs and into the bathroom.

Once inside, Castiel was on Dean, sliding his greedy hands underneath his shirt to tug it up. He knew what was underneath and he wanted to rip it off and _see_. A wave of possessiveness rushed through him and he was reminded of other people wanting Dean – other people like that guy in the pub, which Cas would have loved to see without balls. Just the bare thought of strangers’ hands on his boyfriend, hands that weren’t his or Jimmy’s, made him so furious, that he had to detach his lips from Dean’s to place his forehead against his boyfriend’s and take a few steadying breaths.

Castiel could see that, with alcohol, Dean was often pliant and tactile and almost easily coaxed into doing things he would probably shy away from under normal circumstances. But Cas knew that this – the alcohol – was not the reason why he had just paused and done nothing to defend himself. Seeing him freeze like that had pushed the all-consuming need to break the guy’s nose and tell him who Dean belonged to aside and had made him feel truly sad for a moment. He had seen the look in his green eyes, terrified but also a look that showed he was already familiar with this sort of confrontation.

Dean seemed to magically pull in guys like that, almost like a magnet, and knowing that people like Michael and this asshole in the pub kept sauntering towards him like predators, made Castiel feel uneasy and overly protective over Dean – more so than he already was.

What were they thinking anyway? 

To come to the idea that a man like Dean, who came in with two other men that were obviously his dates, would even want to consider hooking up with this guy was ridiculous. And of course, Cas knew that he didn’t want to be sexually harassed every time he left their place. He also didn’t want to make out with assholes like that, not in his past, not now.

But it wasn’t the fact that Dean was touched without permission or that this guy came on to him like this that had made Dean freeze. Cas was determined to make him forget about whatever it was for now, though.

And if he satisfied one or two of his own needs during that, Castiel truly couldn’t complain.

He shook his head to snap back into reality and forget about what happened to concentrate on the raging boner in his pants. A predatory, though still loving smile crossed Cas’ features as he felt Dean’s equally hard erection pressing into his thigh where it was pushed between his legs, his boyfriend backed up against the wall to the shower. They shared another heated kiss and then, Castiel leaned back a bit to finally take off the offending piece of clothing and roamed his hands all over his lover’s broad chest, making sure to trace his tattoo and graze his tender bruises with his fingertips.

Dean’s breathing was slow and his eyes traced every movement of Cas’ fingers, watching as they traveled down his torso to slip underneath the waistband of his pants and push them down along his boxers roughly. His breath hitched and Cas grinned widely, loving all the different sounds they could pull out of their boyfriend.

Standing there in all his naked glory, Dean leaned into him impatiently again to slip his tongue inside and Cas happily returned the sloppy kiss. Then Jimmy stepped in, making sure Castiel understood that he wanted a piece of their boyfriend as well, and he caressed the side of Dean’s face, cradling it in his hand, his fingers splaying out into his hair. And as soon as Cas paused his lips to take in some air, Jimmy used his hand to turn Dean’s face towards his own and pull him against his mouth to start kissing him fervently, as if he’d been waiting to do just that for hours. At that moment, Castiel realized that some of his possessiveness must have rubbed off on his twin because he could see some traits of his own in the way Jimmy held Dean close against his own body with his other hand, making sure to dominate the kiss and using a lot of tongue form what he was able to see.

A small smile formed on his face at the sight of their tongues sliding against each other in a filthy way, before Jimmy traced it over Dean’s bottom lip and took it between his teeth, slightly tugging it away from the blonde to make him gasp wonderfully. He let Dean’s lip spring free and it was dark red and wet from the attention given to it as he leaned his forehead against their boyfriend’s. They were both smiling sweetly, and Cas almost let out a sound at the pure image of love in front of him.

God, his brother never looked more in love than he did now. Well, actually, he had never seen Jimmy in love with someone at all for the simple fact that he never had been. But still, watching them like that was beautiful, and his heart started beating faster at the realization that Dean looked at him the exact same way.

He truly did love them equally.

Shaking his head once more, Castiel started taking off his clothes hastily, walking closer towards the two to make his presence known again. Jimmy met his eyes as he pulled off his shirt and as soon as it hit the floor, Cas was back against Dean’s mouth with his own in a harsh kiss, hungry for it like a fish desperate for water.

He managed to pull a deep, throaty moan out of Dean before Jimmy turned his face away from Castiel’s to steal a kiss as well. Pulling down his pants along his briefs, Cas noticed that Jimmy had undressed himself too while he was waiting to lick into Dean’s mouth again. His bare thigh was pushing between Dean’s legs and the blonde used it for some friction, throwing his head back moaning as he rolled his hips down, which Jimmy used to his advantage to deepen the kiss and take control.

Once Cas was naked as well, he stepped up behind his boyfriend, pressing his chest against his back and sliding his hand down Dean’s torso while gripping his chin with his other hand and turning his face back around to kiss him again. Jimmy was licking down his neck and kissing his jaw since Cas had disturbed his kiss, and Dean groaned as the two of them fought for his mouth.

A hand snaked down between their bodies, and Castiel curled his fingers around Dean’s cock possessively, making the blonde groan at the firm touch that was not at all enough. “Dominate me,” Dean rasped a low command as Jimmy pushed Castiel aside to press his mouth to his. And God help him, he wanted nothing more than to do just that.

So, he tightened his grip around his boyfriend, though not enough to hurt his tender flesh, and pulled him into their large shower, using Dean’s penis to tug him into it and making a low and pleased sound as their bodies collided. 

Jimmy followed, his eyes dark and lips parted, and he turned on the water above them that started dropping down on them like rain on summer days. When Dean took a deep breath and Cas was reminded of his hand still wrapped around his hard cock, he didn’t spent any more time looking at Jimmy, though, and backed his boyfriend up against the wall and buried his other hand in Dean’s hair, using it to yank him into a bruising kiss, which was scarcely more than a clash of teeth and tongue.

He shoved his tongue into Dean, running it along his teeth and every crevice of his mouth to show him exactly who he belonged to and who had the honor to dominate him like that on a daily basis. The hand wrapped around Dean’s penis slowly loosened its grip and Cas slipped his arm around Dean’s waist, his hand now pressing into the dip of his back to push him against his own body more firmly. But then the blonde was suddenly yanked to the side by his wrist as Jimmy crushed his lips against Dean’s to make sure their boyfriend understood that he was just as much his partner as Castiel was, and Cas had to admit that this was something entirely new.

Up until now, they had always found a way to get their time with Dean. No one got left behind and if someone was kissing Dean already, the other would just have to wait. They never truly fought for Dean’s affection or attention like this and it left Cas perplexed for a moment as he watched his twin grip Dean’s thighs to lift him up and press him against the wall while making sure his lips would never recover from this hardcore make-out session.

But judging from the sounds coming out of their boyfriend, Dean really liked this little show of theirs, and as long as Dean was enjoying himself, Castiel would just play along.

Stepping up next to them, Cas curled his hand gently around Dean’s neck, his fingers resting on his chin and jaw, and broke their kiss once more by turning Dean’s face toward his own and away from Jimmy’s. His eyes were slightly open and he could see that they were fully blown with lust as he leaned in to nibble at Dean’s bruised and swollen lips. He decided to be mindful of his bottom lip and instead pressed his teeth into the upper one, tracing his tongue along the curve of his Cupid’s bow while sliding his hands up and down his chest appreciatively. Leaving a trail of wet kisses on his skin, Cas dragged his mouth from Dean’s lips to his ear and whispered, “Ours.” The blonde shuddered and Castiel smiled crookedly. “Do you enjoy us fighting over you? Fighting for your affection, your love?”

“Hmm,” Dean hummed in an affirmative way and opened his eyes to meet Cas’ gaze.

“What are you gonna do now?” He asked, cradling the side of his face in his hand lovingly.

Dean took one hesitant look at Jimmy, biting his lip in that way he knew exactly affected them pretty easily, and dropped to his knees between them without so much as a word. For a moment, Castiel and Jimmy were left looking down at Dean questioningly, before it dawned on them what their boyfriend was implying, and Castiel’s blue eyes went wide as saucers as he stared down at him.

At the sight of their equally erected members at level with Dean’s mouth, Cas could feel euphoria swamp his senses. Their boyfriend sent a quick look at Jimmy once more, waiting for his nod and turning back towards Castiel while licking his lips in anticipation, and Cas thought his pulse had never been quite as picked up as it was now. All he could do was stare at Dean, who looked up at him from underneath thick lashes, the lust and adoration in his apple green eyes almost too much to handle for Castiel, as the water trailed in rivulets over his flushed skin. 

When Dean flicked his gaze down on Cas’ cock right in front of him, he leaned in a bit and brought up his large hands, delicately rolling his fingers along the shaft and flicking his thumb just under the head to get a gasp from Castiel. He teased him a bit longer, circling the head, thumbing his slit, and stroking along the length until Cas made a sound of protest at being played with like that, making a mental note to punish Dean for it with a cockring next time.

Then he started kissing around his crotch and groin, softly tickling his testicles with his fingertips to spur Cas on even more. Due to the water running down on them, his cock was already plenty wet, but Dean still managed to make him slam his fist against the wall next to them to steady himself as he stuck his tongue out and took a long, teasing swipe across his tip, making sure to dip his tongue into his slit and tasting him before moving to wrap his lips around his head.

This never failed to make Cas weak no matter if it was in the shower, during a scene, underneath the dining table while they ate breakfast, or in the morning underneath the covers to wake them up like that. Dean’s lips always felt absolutely heavenly around his cock, this heat, and wetness, the softness of his mouth, and Castiel threw his head back with a groan as Dean suckled. But he quickly looked down on their boyfriend again to see his lips stretching around the head of his cock as he twirled his tongue around the tip to make him groan once more. His abdominals flexed with the effort of keeping his hips still as the overwhelming want to just fuck ruthlessly into the wet suction of Dean’s mouth took over his body, though Cas was everything but uncontrolled and he managed to instead bury his free hand in Dean’s wet hair – not to guide him, only to rest it there.

But before Castiel could start to get lost in the steady rhythm of Dean’s tongue swirling around him, the blonde pulled off and grinned at him cheekily, turning towards Jimmy and using his thick, muscular thighs for balance as he leaned in and suckled each of his balls, slicking them up with his saliva and massaging them with his tongue. He knew that Jimmy loved this and his twin moaned in delight, his cock giving a visible twitch as Dean left wet, sloppy kisses along the underside of his shaft from his testicles to the tip, burying his hands in his messy light brown hair just like Cas had before.

Dean lifted his gaze to look at Jimmy, smiling mischievously as he rasped, “Blowing you always turns me on… can’t wait to taste your cum.”

And with that, the blonde parted his lips and took Jimmy down his throat until his nose was buried in his pubic and Jimmy was groaning with pleasure. Cas knew that he was working his throat around him, massaging Jimmy’s cock with measured spasms as he reveled in the taste of his boyfriend. From where Castiel was standing, he was barely able to see the smile on Dean’s face and it was oddly hot to see him like this. Their boyfriend knew just how good he was at giving head and Dean had always been a really generous lover, which Jimmy and Castiel always tried to praise and thank him for, but he took just as much pleasure from satisfying the two as he gave them.

As Jimmy’s grip in Dean’s hair tightened, Dean pulled off with an obscene pop and smirked, running the long length of his tongue up the underside of his cock to give him some time to calm down. He always did that – not wanting them to shoot their load too soon. And even though this was very familiar, this was still different. So, so different.

Receiving his blowjobs was heavenly, but watching him give them to other people was hot as fuck and Cas felt his own cock twitch at seeing Jimmy being brought to the edge by Dean’s skilled tongue and mouth. They have done this a lot with each other during sex already because they apparently shared a bedroom and their lives together, but Castiel had never really allowed himself to _see_.

Now that he did, though, he couldn’t stop. Dean took Jimmy into his mouth once more, but this time massaged his shaft and balls with his hands while sucking him off earnestly. Above him, Jimmy couldn’t keep his profanities inside and he cursed and clenched his eyes, visibly straining himself from cocking his pelvis and thrusting all the way inside Dean. Only once Jimmy was very close to coming did the blonde move him deeper into his throat again, past his well-trained gag reflex, and swallowed around him, his nose pressing into his pubic again and his stretched lips brushing Jimmy’s testicles.

It was so, _so_ fucking hot.

Jimmy came with a shout and Dean’s fingers turned white where they pressed into Jimmy’s thighs as he hurried to swallow every drop of his cum, his throat still working as he continued to milk him for all he was worth.

When Dean hummed after Jimmy spilled his very last drop, he pulled off with a wet sound and smiled happily, gazing at Jimmy with hooded eyes before giving his now soft cock a few soft licks and kisses. Then, he started kissing down his inner thighs and back up around his groin and Castiel realized that this was no longer to pleasure Jimmy, but to make _him_ go crazy. And it worked.

He took a step closer and reached down to cup Dean’s chin in a firm, demanding grip, guiding him to his hard cock. With a satisfied smirk, Dean shifted on his knees to turn towards him, his hands gripping Cas’ legs for purchase as well, and he chanced a glance at Castiel from underneath his lashes, his eyes sparkling.

Cas didn’t know why, but where Dean loved and treated them the same generally, he did have different ways to communicate with and react to them during sex. He would be loud with Jimmy, talk dirty to him while also being sweet and tender, but he would be the biggest tease with Cas. Dean told them that he could be bratty, and while he wasn’t really talkative with him, he did let it show through his actions. Sometimes, he would do everything to make Cas go crazy; tease him, play with him, disobey, or even straight-out ignore him and instead give all his attention to Jimmy just like he did with the blowjob just now. During sex, though, he would be pliant and do anything to be good. It was the weirdest, but also most adorable thing.

Sure, Cas and Jimmy had different ways to handle Dean during scenes or sex in general. Jimmy was no trained Dom and only ever made use of this new role in their relationship during scenes. Outside of that, he’d be Dean’s partner. Cautious and mindful but also impatient, tempered, and horny almost all the time. Cas, on the other hand, never truly left his role as a Dom. He always had to make sure that Dean had everything he needed and that he was okay, he’d be gentle but also firm if need be and was the rather patient and controlled one. They were two different people, though, and maybe Dean was just reacting to their different types of characters, even during sex. But Castiel liked to think that it was his submissive part challenging his Dom and waiting for Cas’ response. 

Whatever the reason for this was, Castiel really couldn’t complain because, in the end, Dean always managed to make it worth the wait and all the teasing.

Which was what he wanted now. So he inched forward with his hips, pressing the head of his cock against Dean’s lips and widened his stance for better purchase. Since he had already had his foreplay, Dean wasted no time working over his thick erection, but he did make sure to swirl his tongue and apply flicking motions to his frenulum, knowing all the different things that turned them on and using it to make them lose their minds. Cas groaned and stroked Dean’s face where his hand was still underneath his chin as their boyfriend hollowed his cheeks and started sucking.

He was so close already, from the teasing and watching, that it didn’t take long for Dean to deep throat him, starting to massage his shaft like that. The tip of his cock pressed against the back of Dean’s throat and the thought that he could feel himself inside his lover if he would just wrap his hands around his exposed throat was what finally got him to orgasm, hissing Dean’s name through clenched teeth as he emptied himself inside him and his throat spasmed with a groan in response.

Just like with Jimmy, Dean kept licking and stroking his softening cock through all of it but eventually, there was no more to be had and Castiel was left limp, boneless, and exhausted as Dean pulled off and nuzzled his face into his groin where his leg met his pubic area.

It was a small but sweet gesture and Castiel smiled down on him lovingly, cradling his face and stroking his hair. Jimmy came up behind Dean and helped him get to his feet once more, wrapping his arms around his waist for support as well as his own comfort. Cas framed his face with both hands and gave him a soft smile. He was still somewhat rendered speechless from Dean’s blowjob, but he managed to say, “Thank you, love. That was incredible, you did amazing.”

Dean met his eyes with tired ones and grinned happily at the praise. It never ceased to make Castiel’s heart beat faster, the way Dean always lit up when being praised.

“How are your knees? Does your jaw hurt?” Jimmy asked and the blonde smirked, turning his head as far as it went to look at him with amusement.

Ignoring the first question, Dean teased, “I get it, you guys are big, but I can handle it.”

And hearing Dean call them big or huge also never ceased to make Castiel blush like a teenager.

“Well, thanks for the compliment, but that doesn’t answer the question,” Cas said, giving Dean his typical no-nonsense face with a raised eyebrow, which their boyfriend always referred to as ‘Dom-brow’.

The blonde turned back to look at him and he rolled his eyes in exasperation, but he knew that Dean appreciated their concern… most of the time. “Well, I’m not twenty any more… But, yes, I’m good.” He moved his jaw a few times, testing if he felt an ache somewhere. “It’ll just be a bit stiff tomorrow.” That had Castiel grinning wickedly and meeting Jimmy’s eyes, and Dean snorted, giving Cas’ chest a playful jab. “Shut it, you prick! You know you’re way above the average size. No need to brag.”

Jimmy and Cas burst into laughter and Dean tried to hide his amused smile but failed miserably as he chuckled slightly. “Yeah, yeah,” he laughed, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Keep laughing, but you’ve never seen a dong-zilla close up.”

Snorting, Jimmy asked, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

With a grin, Dean turned around and said, “Well, a big-ass dick, what else?”

“Why the hell would you call it that?”

Interrupting their little conversation, Castiel rested his chin on Dean’s shoulder and whispered into his ear, “Speaking of… how do you want us to return the favor?”

He slung his arms around his lover’s middle and pulled him back against his body, kissing the skin of his neck that wasn't covered by the collar. Dean turned his head and looked at him. “You don’t have to, y’know.”

“What if we want to?”

Grinning widely, Dean shrugged and tried to sound nonchalant as he said, “If you insist, do whatever you wanna, but let’s get out of the shower first before we get even wrinklier than we already are.”

And this was exactly what they did; grabbed their body lotion and shampoo and washed themselves before finally turning off the water and stepping out of the shower to towel their bodies dry. Once that was done, Dean told them he would be waiting in bed while Jimmy and Cas took care of locking up their front door downstairs and picking up all their clothes to put into the laundry basket before joining Dean in the bedroom.

“That was fast,” Dean remarked when Jimmy closed the bedroom door behind him, Cas already settling down behind their boyfriend so that he was between his legs and could rest his back against Cas’ chest.

“Well, we didn’t want you to fall asleep before we could make you feel good as well,” Jimmy smiled and crossed the space between the door and the bed in a few strides. When he reached the end of the bed, he grabbed Dean’s legs and opened them wider so that he could fit in the space, musing, “After all… you’re still hard from the shower.” There was a smirk on Dean’s face as Jimmy placed down between his legs, his hands resting on the tops of Dean’s thighs and his thumbs stroking the tender skin there while he stared his lover into the eyes. “You wouldn’t want to sleep like that, would you?”

“No,” Dean answered with a wide grin and covered Jimmy’s hands with his own, guiding them further towards his groin where his arousal was still evident. “What are you suggesting?”

Meeting Cas’ eyes with a smirk, Jimmy waited for his approving nod before he answered, “I’m gonna take you into my mouth, but I won’t do anything.”

The grin on their boyfriend’s lips faltered for a second as confusion crossed his handsome features. “So…?”

He tried to lower his voice as much as possible without it sounding weird because he knew just how much Dean loved when their voices were all gravelly and deep. And Jimmy loved to watch Dean’s body shudder at the sound of it and how goosebumps erupted on his skin. “So, I won’t use my tongue or anything else. I want you to use your fingers and bring yourself over the edge. And I want to see everything.”

That was something Castiel and Jimmy had him do a few times already. Dean would masturbate in front of them, put on a nice show, and the two of them would just watch. While Dean always said that it was weird and made him a bit uncomfortable, Castiel reasoned that the goal of this task was to get him used to being vulnerable around them like this and to make himself feel more comfortable in his own skin. And it worked. It still wasn’t one of Dean’s favorite things but whenever they wanted to him play with himself or bring himself to orgasm, Dean would be more confident and open about it. Sometimes, he’d even put on such a good show for them, tease them with the way he was fingering his ass or toying with his cock, that the two of them found themselves jerking off to the sight or panting with want while their cocks strained to be inside Dean.

Making their boyfriend comfortable in all ways around them was their goal and also the reason why Castiel had suggested it after Dean had left the bathroom tonight. And Jimmy was always on board with that. More so because of the fact that he got to take Dean into his mouth.

Doing that was so much different from giving head. Just keeping Dean’s cock inside and warm, doing nothing at all but feel it twitch and stiffen, was something oddly more intimate than going down on his shaft with every blowjob trick he’d ever learned.

“What do you say?”

“Thank you?” Dean asked, looking down at him with big, uncertain eyes.

They chuckled and Castiel leaned over Dean’s shoulder, his hands gently tracing a line along the skin right underneath his collar, and brushed his lips across his cheek in a feather-light tease. Dean leaned into the touch instinctively. “Will you be good for us?”

Nodding sharply, the blonde whispered, “Yes, Castiel,” and then looked at Jimmy once more to repeat, “Yes, I’ll be good.”

“Give me your hand, darling,” Cas ordered softly and smiled when Dean reached up his right hand eagerly, turning his head to look at what his Dom was doing. With a smile, Castiel wrapped his fingers around their boyfriend’s wrist and lifted it up to his mouth, parting his lips and pressing three fingers inside. He closed his lips around the digits as he started to slick them up with his saliva and Jimmy watched as Dean’s lips parted in concentration while he stared at Cas, his tongue pressing against the back of his teeth. It was as much endearing as the flushing of his skin from arousal and the way his cock gave a slight twitch of interest in front of Jimmy.

A moment later, Castiel pulled the fingers back out of his mouth with a pop, making sure that they were slick enough, before giving Dean one nod to indicate that he was good to start. And Dean, their beautiful good boy, was eager to comply and show just how good he could be for them.

He lifted his hips just slightly and Jimmy grinned widely as he stared his boyfriend long enough into his grass-green eyes to let him know that he was about to start. Then, Jimmy changed his position and crawled on top of Dean, carefully sitting down in his chest, before he grasped Dean’s cock in his hand and guided it towards his lips, engulfing it in the hot wetness of his mouth. He took as much of Dean as he could and relaxed his jaw, shifting a bit on the bed to get into a comfortable position, while Dean reached his right hand down, past Jimmy’s face and his testicles, to prod at his hole with his slick middle finger, circling it once, twice before pushing it inside to the second knuckle.

For a moment, he just kept it like that, and then he visibly circled it inside, starting to stretch and widen his channel for the other fingers to come. He could just as easily stimulate his prostate with one finger, but Jimmy knew that Dean loved the feeling of being stretched and full, so he understood why he found it more pleasurable to use three instead. Then he started bumping his digit in and out before he slowly added the second one to scissor himself open.

Jimmy had never been this close to him when he did this; hell, his face was almost right in front of it and it was fucking arousing to see exactly how Dean fingered himself and how the skin of his rosy pucker stretched around them whenever he parted them or pulled them out. He had seen him pleasure himself on his hands and knees from a respectable distance before, and while that had already been freaking hot, seeing his pink insides as he pressed a third, glistening finger inside his entrance was just breathtaking. Unfortunate for him, he needed to regulate his breathing through his nose since his mouth was otherwise occupied and so it wasn’t very pleasant to get all worked up like this.

When he pulled out to chance a glance at Dean from above his shoulders where he was sitting with his back to his boyfriend’s face, Jimmy could see the concentration in the set of his eyebrows, although Dean’s eyes were closed and lips parted. Castiel was stroking the skin of his neck that wasn’t covered by the collar and leaned over his shoulder once more to press his mouth to Dean’s and slip his tongue inside.

Flicking his eyes back down to where Dean’s fingers worked himself open, Jimmy realized that his lover was starting to thrust them in and out, which meant that he would start stimulating his prostate in a few minutes, and he hurried to take him into his mouth again.

Jimmy could tell the exact moment when Dean aimed directly at his pleasure spot for the first time since his cock gave a strong twitch inside his mouth and he could taste the salty and bitter flavor of Dean’s pre-cum. After that followed twitch and jerk after the other and Dean’s cock started leaking incessantly inside his mouth while moans and breathy sighs kept spilling out of the blonde, which were swallowed by Castiel’s mouth as he was still kissing him.

Feeling their boyfriend’s cock so alive inside his mouth turned Jimmy on like crazy and he forgot all about the ache starting in his jaw at keeping it open and still like that. It was totally worth it. And since he’d received an awesome blowjob from Dean tonight, it was the least he could do.

Dean’s orgasm was palpable in the way his breathing picked up, his fingers moved faster and his body started squirming, and therefore made it possible for Jimmy to be prepared for the moment the blonde tipped over the edge and stilled while his cock spasmed and spilled hot cum into his mouth and down his throat. He swallowed as much of it as he could but still, there was cum leaking from the corners of his mouth since he wasn’t as practiced in that area as Dean apparently was. Jimmy had to admit that, before he started to date Dean, he had only given head about twice, maybe even three times, but that was about it and didn’t offer much adept expertise. And swallowing was harder than it sounded because when something practically exploded in one’s mouth, gulping it all down in one go so that nothing would go to waste wasn’t really in the cards yet.

With his fingers still buried inside himself, Dean tried to calm down and catch his breath again, and Jimmy used one hand to curl it around the base of his lover’s cock, licking along his shaft and cleaning it with his tongue. Dean’s skin was hot, and when he looked up at him, he saw how flushed he was, how glassy his eyes looked, and how his chest and belly rose and fell with each harsh breath as Cas circled his nipples with his thumb and kissed along his jaw.

Slowly, Jimmy reached his other hand up and grabbed Dean’s wrist to carefully pull his fingers out of his hole, so that he was able to see his pink, soft insides. Above him, Castiel started to praise Dean with “You’re so good,” and “so beautiful,” and “our perfect boy,” but Jimmy didn’t pay it any mind because he was too focused on making their boyfriend feel good.

Wrapping his lips around the head of Dean’s cock, Jimmy slid his tongue across and around it, before readjusting his hand around his cock and giving one very long swipe right across the slit. The blonde squirmed and gasped and Jimmy lived for those noises and he freaking loved how sensitive Dean was after sex. Just touching his testicles was enough to make him writhe, but his slit – _God, his slit…_ – was the one thing that made Dean roll his eyes back into his skull and scream. He was totally into them playing with it during sex and Jimmy and Cas never ceased to be infatuated with it; with his reactions to the feeling of the tip of a tongue spearing into it, or the tip of a finger pressing inside.

Spreading his legs as wide as possible, Dean arched his back and tilted his hips up into Jimmy as a sign that he should go on, and he happily complied. He speared his tongue and pushed the tip inside his slit, swiping his tongue flat over it before repeating the first, and Dean moaned and writhed, and if it were possible, he would be completely hard again in no time if Jimmy kept going.

“Are you toying with his slit again?” Castiel asked, his voice low and raspy as he was just as affected by the sounds Dean was making as Jimmy was. Lifting his head just enough to stare over his shoulder, he met Cas’ gaze and nodded, a big fat smile forming on his face. “Do you know what sounding is?”

Meeting Dean’s hooded eyes, Jimmy pulled off of his cock and scrambled to sit down between Dean’s open thighs, his hands landing around Dean’s penis again as soon as he found a comfortable position. The blonde let out a wounded sound at the fact that Jimmy just stopped and it made him smile fondly as he said, “No.”

“It’s urethral play, to be exact. Typically, it’s a metal rod or plug, but there are different materials and textures, as well as lengths and girths and shapes. You insert them into the urethra, or slit as some call it, to stimulate all nerves in the glans directly and sometimes even the prostate if it’s inserted deeply enough,” Cas explained, stroking Dean’s chest absentmindedly. “Wait,” he got up on his knees and carefully placed a few pillows behind Dean’s back to keep him in an upright position, before getting out of bed and walking towards where they kept their toys and equipment. Then he opened a drawer and pulled something long and metallic out of it, closing the drawer again and moving to sit at the end of the bed at Dean’s leg, next to Jimmy.

In his hand was a silver, thin piece, about 7 inches long and textured with small beads along the entire shaft. Lifting his gaze to look at Castiel, Jimmy asked, “That’s a sound? This thing?”

Cas nodded his head and said, “It looks longer than it is, believe me. I have longer ones in the drawer for prostate stimulation. This one here is just a typical one. I also have a few with a smooth texture, but I’ve learned that it feels better if it isn’t smooth.”

Incredulous, Jimmy asked, “How does it fit inside? And what– you said there are different girths, like… how do you insert it? Doesn’t it hurt?” Just thinking about inserting this thing into his own penis made his renewed erection shrink a bit. “Why do you have this stuff anyway? And shouldn’t you be asking Dean if he knows this? He’s the one crazy about his slit being played with.”

Next to him, Cas chuckled slightly and directed a warm smile at Dean before eyeing Jimmy with barely restrained amusement. “Why do you think I have it? I asked Dean what he liked and made him do a list for me so I knew what to buy.” Frowning, Jimmy looked at their boyfriend, who’d been silently following their conversation, a small smile on his lips as he touched the leather of his collar with one hand distractedly. “And I asked you if you knew about it since Dean and I are already familiar with it. We thought you knew what it was because you didn’t ask about it when we went through the list, but today made me realize that, perhaps, you don’t.”

Embarrassed, Jimmy said, “I must have accidentally skipped it then.”

Dean sat up straight at that and leaned forward to put his hands on Jimmy’s knees reassuringly, making sure to meet his gaze. “That’s okay, Jimmy. Don’t worry. We can show you, though, if you wanna…?”

If their boyfriend liked it, he had to at least try it. So, Jimmy gave a tiny nod and looked at Castiel to show him how it worked, breathing out, “Okay.” He didn’t know why this made him so nervous, but imagining hurting Dean in any way always managed to get his pulse high and fill him with worry. And this whole urethral play thing didn’t seem like the safest kink to Jimmy… well, at least not with metal rods being inserted into it. “Is it safe, though? What if you hurt Dean?”

There was a soft smile on Cas’ face, the one he always wore when he thought Jimmy’s worry about Dean’s well-being was particularly heartwarming, and he nodded. “I can assure you that it is very much safe if you do it right, of course. It’s important to find the right size, even if you want to stretch it. You have to start small and work up to larger ones, logically. The toys have to be sterilized before using them and you have to be very gentle and slow.”

Staring at the sound in Castiel’s hand, Jimmy asked, “So, does the urethra stay stretched afterward?”

“Not in the way we use it. Dean doesn’t wear them every day with the purpose to keep it widened, just occasionally.”

Nodding, Jimmy got up off the bed and walked towards the drawer where they kept the sterilizer and bottle of lube, with which he returned and took his previous spot between Dean’s legs. He handed the items to Cas and said, “I’m guessing we’ll need a lot of lube, huh?”

Cas took the sterilizer and started to prepare the sound, smiling slightly. “Yes, that is correct.” He watched him clean and sterilize the shiny metal for a while until Castiel seemed to deem it ready, and then covered it with a healthy amount of lubricant.

“What’s the difference between plug and sound? I mean, doesn’t this thing already plug up the entire urethra?”

“A plug,” Castiel started, lifting his head to look at Jimmy, “is usually thicker and only an inch or less long. Usually, they have a ball or some sort of hoop at the end to truly function as a plug.” His only answer to that was a short nod because his entire focus now laid on the sound and how Cas brought it close to Dean’s cock. He met their lover’s eyes for a moment and when Dean got the message, he reached down and curled his fingers around his shaft to keep it in place for him. Then Castiel used his left hand to gently spread his slit and Jimmy shifted a bit at seeing Dean’s pretty cock so bared and vulnerable. But before he started inserting it, Cas asked, “Do you want this, Dean?”

“Yeah,” he whispered and nodded eagerly, biting his bottom lip in concentration as he watched, just like Jimmy, how Castiel started to guide the toy inside. It went very slow and Jimmy felt his erection gradually coming back to life at observing this. When Jimmy concentrated on the underside of Dean’s cock, he realized that the sound was visible from the outside – Dean’s tender skin showing exactly how deep it was inside and how slowly it made its way even deeper – and it was so fucking arousing. He wanted to screw the sound open like a speculum and look inside to see what it looked like.

Whenever Cas told him to, Dean would loosen his grip around his penis just slightly and give it a short tug or move it around, so that the sound could go in deeper. Castiel explained that it was normal that the sound would sometimes just stop moving and that this helped to move it along. Once it was fully inside, merely the ring at the end to pull it back out was left and Dean’s cock was stuffed and unyielding with it.

The sight of it alone was hot enough, but then Jimmy looked at Dean and saw his lazy and relaxed grin, as if wearing this thing was the most normal thing, and his eyes were cast down to his cock, like he himself found it fascinating to look at. He was overwhelmed with lust and love and he just leaned into Dean to grip his face and kiss him crazy. They kissed for a while until the blonde had to break the contact to take in some air, and Jimmy swiped his tongue across his bright red bottom lip to lick up their combined saliva.

“Do you want to pleasure him?”

Castiel’s question was soft and he smiled as he watched the two so closely together, breaking Jimmy out of the haze he’d gotten into. “Yeah,” he breathed out, nodding.

“Follow my guidance,” Cas ordered and Jimmy had a suspicion that he would have to be on his stomach between Dean’s legs for this once more, so he got into the position he’d been in before. His boyfriend’s stuffed penis was now in front of his face and Jimmy waited for Cas’ constructions. “Take the end of the sound and move it in and out, very carefully. You can also move it in other directions to stimulate as many nerve endings as possible.”

Doing as he was told, Jimmy grasped Dean’s length tenderly in his hand and pulled the metal back out with the other, making sure to be gentle and slow, and circled it inside Dean’s cock to move it in all directions. Then, he pushed it back inside, but not all the way, only to slide it out and circle it again, his smile growing when he heard the shuddering breaths and low, deep moans coming out of Dean. The next time he pulled it halfway out to circle it, Jimmy lifted Dean’s cock even higher to look at the underside of it and see the sound move within him. It was still so freaking hot.

“You might want to gently massage Dean’s penis now that all his nerve endings are on high alert and sensitive to add extra pleasure,” Castiel suggested, lovingly stroking Dean’s thigh with his right hand.

And so Jimmy did; he pushed the metal inside all the way to let it stay this way and grasped Dean’s now slowly erecting cock with his hands to start pressing the tips of his fingers and thumbs into the shaft. When the noises coming from their boyfriend got louder, Jimmy traced his pointer finger along the length of the underside of his shaft and hummed in delight as he felt the metal rod inside. His cock gave a twitch at the feel and Dean moaned, a long and low, rumbling sound.

With every sound Dean made, Jimmy got more confident in what he was doing and that it didn’t, in fact, hurt him. So he curled his fingers around the head of his penis and moved it slightly before very gently pulling it back and letting go of it again. The green-eyed started to let out wanton sounds of pleasure and when Jimmy met his twin’s gaze, Castiel said, “Now put your lips on the rod and hum.”

Jimmy did so without hesitation or sparing another thought to the weird request, putting his lips to the sound and humming against it. Dean let out a yelp and thrust his hips into Jimmy instinctively as he made the inside of Dean’s urethra vibrate with the humming. He had half the mind to realize how much knowledge Castiel had about pleasuring his partners and that it was freaking remarkable when he thought about everything his brother already taught him during their time with Dean.

But he couldn’t think about that now because everything inside him wanted to make Dean scream with pleasure when his second orgasm finally hit, so he kept going. Massaging, humming, moving the sound, sometimes combining things or managing to do them all at once, striving to make Dean come with just this.

Sometime during Jimmy’s ministrations on his penis, Dean had thrown himself back on the bed and started breathing harshly as his cock started to become over-sensitive with stimulation. His belly moved with his panting and his face was covered with his arm since he had buried it in the crook of his elbow to hide the tears leaking from his eyes. His entire body was flushed pink and glistening with sweat and he was so goddamn beautiful.

A few seconds before Dean ejaculated, Castiel told Jimmy to gently pull the rod out all the way so that their boyfriend could come whenever he was ready, which was why Jimmy spent the last moment with his lips around Dean once more and his tongue dipping into his slightly stretched slit before his orgasm hit. When it finally happened, their boyfriend truly almost yelled and Jimmy was once again trying to swallow every last bit of Dean’s cum as if it was sacred.

Once their boyfriend calmed down again, Castiel crawled further into the bed and bent his body over Dean to start peppering his chest with kisses. “So good,” he whispered into his skin, giving the place between his collarbones an open-mouthed, chaste kiss. “It makes me unbelievably happy to know you’re sharing a lot of my interests and that Jimmy is agreeing to participate in most of them.”

Dean merely smiled widely to show that he was happy to see Cas this happy and Jimmy crawled further into the bed as well to place a kiss to his lips. “Do you want to take a bath?”

“To waste even more water than we already have t’night?” Dean asked jokingly, though he was right. “Nah, I’m good.” He looked at them with a smirk and said, “‘sides, we don’t have anything to clean up since Jimmy did a good job at that, right?” 

The question was directed towards him and Jimmy chuckled slightly. In a soft voice, Cas said, “Let us at least clean up the sound and bring you water,” which Dean didn’t argue. So, Cas stayed in the bedroom with their boyfriend while Jimmy went downstairs to grab a glass and fill it with water. When he came back into the room, though, the two were gone, and, frowning, he walked to the bathroom only to see Dean washing his penis and then his hands while Castiel cleaned the sound.

Closing the space between them, Jimmy set the glass of water on the washbasin and turned to look at his boyfriend. “Everything alright?”

Meeting his eyes, Dean gave him a small smile and walked up into his personal space to rest his hands on his chest and peck his lips. “I’m fine, Jimmy. You have to stop worrying that I’m hurt all the time.”

Jimmy wrapped his arms around his middle, placed his hands on each of Dean’s asscheeks, and bumped their noses together as he leaned in to rest their foreheads against each other. “I can’t help it.”

“I know.”

They kissed again, this time with tongue, and their noses pushed into their faces as Jimmy pressed Dean’s pelvis flush against his hips, which the blonde used to grind against. When he felt the smile on Dean’s lips, Jimmy broke the kiss and warned, “Don’t tempt me.” With a mischievous smirk, Dean pushed his crotch into Jimmy’s once more and he pulled at the ring in front of his collar with his finger to draw him close to his chest and rasp, “That’s just another reason to give you a nice spanking, Dean Winchester.”

Behind them, Castiel chuckled softly and leaned in to press a kiss to the back of Dean’s neck, right above the collar, and whispered, “Remember, you’ll not just get spanked by one, but two Doms. I’d try to be good if I were you.” Dean visibly shuddered and Cas nibbled at his earlobe with a smile. “Now, come on. You peed and washed yourself so you’re all done here and ready for bed.”

Turning his head to look at Cas, Dean seemed to be close to asking him something provoking like “what if I’m not tired?” but at the sight of Castiel’s raised eyebrow, he let the question drop and turned back around to look at Jimmy, who let go of him and stepped aside to let him walk out of the room and into their bed. Jimmy followed after him and Cas took the sound and turned off the lights in the bathroom before joining them as well. He quickly opened the drawer and placed the toy back inside, then closed it again and walked towards the bed, smiling sweetly when he saw that Dean was already covered with a blanket in the middle of it and had left Cas’ side empty for him.

Out of nowhere, Dean said, “First time I ever tried it, my slit burned for like two days straight. It was uncomfortable and every time I peed, it stung and felt weird. It was so freaking annoying, that I swore I’d never do it again.”

Turning his head to look at him, Jimmy saw that Castiel climbed into bed next to Dean and slipped underneath the covers as well, cuddling close to their boyfriend and placing his arm around his belly like he always did. He rested his head on Dean’s shoulder and looked at his face closely. Then Jimmy met Dean’s eyes and asked, “Why’d you do it again?”

“My first Dom promised me to organize a medical scene for me since I was kinda into that… y’know? Medical play and all that. So, of course, I couldn’t just leave it at that,” Dean explained and met his eyes quickly before turning his head so that he was neither staring at Jimmy nor at Cas but at the ceiling. “I tried again, this time alone and with a different size and it didn’t feel as awful anymore. Even turned me on so much, that I inserted it the next day again and walked around with it in clothes, wore it to work.”

“You kept it in for work?” Castiel asked, quietly, though his voice sounded incredulous.

“Yeah, it was one of those silicon ones, so I was still able to move normally and stuff, just that it felt extra sexy.”

“What if you had to pee?” Now it was Jimmy’s turn to ask.

He felt the bed dip beneath them as Dean shrugged, saying, “Well, I didn’t have to until I was home again.” Turning his head to look at Jimmy, Dean mused, “You should know by now that I can hold my bladder pretty long if I wanna.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” he hummed in agreement, smiling softly. “So, did you get your medical scene?”

“Hell yeah, I did.” They chuckled and Dean said, “She even had that fancy gynecological examination chair she put me on. That was hot.”

“Tell me about the scene.”

Dean turned his head to look at Cas and gave him a soft kiss. “What do you wanna know?”

Propping himself up on his elbow to get a better look at Dean’s face, Castiel said, “What did she do?”

“She was good at acting, that much I can say. Had me walking into the room like during a real doctor’s appointment.”

“Did she discuss what was going to happen with you beforehand?”

“Not exactly. We spoke about fantasies once and I told her about mine, so she asked what I’d be willing to do if I ever got the chance to be in a scene like that. She kinda had me set the limits for the scene but when the day came, I didn’t know what she was gonna do from the things we talked about.” That seemed even logical to Jimmy – to not spoil the scene or ruin the anticipation – and Cas nodded his understandings as well. “That day, I came in, dressed in all my usual clothes and unprepared. ‘Course I was clean and washed, but not prepped or anything ‘cause she told me not to. So I walked in and she sat there clothed like a real doctor and greeted me with my last name and asked what I was here for. It was hard at first, to play along, but she was good at this and I knew that I could back out of it whenever I wanted – _this_ we have talked about before. And I said that I needed an entire checkup.

“So she had me strip out of my clothes and sat me down in that examination chair and I felt like how I imagine a girl at a gynecologist appointment would; freaking nervous. While she explained to me what was about to happen first, she took my legs and placed them on that leg holder thingy to keep them spread and I felt exposed as hell but it was also kinda nice. Then she prepared an enema and inserted it, had me sitting there with the thing for like 20 minutes while she examined my abdomen. After that, she made me do a few other tasks and asked a few questions, then started to open me up with sounds to ‘see if everything was fine with my urethra’ while I was still on that chair. I think she went with 12 millimeters in diameter before she stopped and kept it all the way inside and stretching me while she declared that she was gonna do several rectal examinations including a prostate exam now. She bent me over a table, put on gloves, and lubed up her fingers, then started fingering me open and milking my prostate. After that, she went on with her examinations and had me sit back down on the chair so that she could insert a speculum and ‘take a closer look at my ass’.

“Well, I ended up with my slit stretched and ass spread wide open for everyone to see, then she said that ‘she’d never seen this before and that she would get a specialist to take a look at it’, and next thing I know, her colleague, another very nice Domme, comes into the room and that’s when things got pretty sweaty and loud…” His words got quieter at the end but he sounded as if deep in memory.

While Jimmy only had to remind himself once during Dean’s story that he belonged to them now, he saw that Cas had those hungry, big eyes again that he always had when he got very possessive over Dean and, or, jealous of his previous partners. He swallowed thickly and asked, “So it was good?”

“Fuck, yes. It truly was.”

“And it…” Cas looked a bit uncomfortable and he adverted his eyes when he said, “it was a threesome?” Dean merely nodded, giving Cas space to sort out his thoughts. “Was it your only one?”

Shaking his head, the blonde explained, “Had one again with the Dom right before Michael came along.”

“Would you want one again?” Castiel’s voice was deep and rough and Jimmy knew that it was hard for him to talk about this but that it was a question he had asked himself a few times before.

“Isn’t our whole sex life like a big threesome?” Dean quipped but he understood what Cas was asking, so he said, “No,” and sat up a bit to lean towards Castiel and frame his face with both his hands. His voice was soft and loving when he assured, “I have you both, Cas. You’re all I need and all I ever wanted. Why would I want some stranger to join us?” Cas just stared Dean deeply into the eyes, not once blinking, and their boyfriend placed a lingering kiss on top of his lips. “I love you, don’t ever forget that. And I only want you two. No one else. Not even fifty of them if I can have you. All my past stories and experiences are just that: things that happened in the past. You’re _now_ and I freaking love this present I’m in.”

Jimmy watched as a fond smile slowly crossed Castiel’s features and Dean let out a relieved sigh, kissing Cas once more. They laid back down again, all three of them cuddling even closer together to the point that Jimmy thought they were crushing Dean between their bodies. But their boyfriend was smiling happily, the lights of the city at night throwing a golden hue over his smooth skin through all the windows in the room. If they wanted, they could turn towards those windows and look down on the city, but the sight between them was way more beautiful than any other thing they’ve ever seen before.

Breaking the silence after a while, Cas asked, “What is your fantasy now?”

“You two,” Dean answered quietly.

“But if you could choose a scene, what would you fantasize about?”

“To be completely at your mercy,” he whispered and it sounded like a confession but also as a symbol of trust and loyalty, and Castiel and Jimmy knew to be thanking the Heavens that Dean was giving it to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: sex toys, dildos, mentioned punishments, mentioned spanking, non-consensual touching, marking, scratching, bruises, blowjobs, cockwarming, anal fingering, sounding, urethral play, fantasies, past Dean/others, past role play, past medical play/medical examination, past threesome, mentioned prostate milking, speculums 
> 
> (past things are only mentioned)


	13. March

Castiel woke up to soft snoring beside him and when he opened his eyes, expecting to find Dean cuddled up next to him, he saw empty space where his boyfriend was supposed to be, and instead of dark blonde hair peeking out from underneath the covers, it was a mess of dark raven curls. Jimmy seemed to feel Cas’ confused gaze on him as he turned around and opened his eyes just a bit to peak up at him with a frown. It was only then that he seemed to realize that he had taken over Dean’s spot and noticed the expression on Cas’ face, and he propped himself up on his elbows, blinking the sleep away a few times. “Where is he?” His voice was rough and groggy from slumber and Castiel shrugged his shoulders to indicate that he had no idea.

He held his breath while letting his eyes drift across the room and listening to all the sounds around them intently to hear if Dean was perhaps just in the bathroom until his gaze landed on the half-opened patio window leading to the roof deck. Only then did he realize that a slight breeze was carried inside the room through the small gap and Cas sat up straight, sending a worried look to Jimmy as he caught slight motion from the roof deck. His twin mirrored Castiel’s expression and they got out of the bed to slowly walk towards the window front.

Standing behind the patio window, Castiel gripped the handle to slide it open even further so that they could pass through while looking at their boyfriend where he sat curled up in a beige blanket on one of the sunbeds with a cup of coffee clutched in both hands, lightly blowing into it to cool it off. When Cas slid open the window and walked towards him, feeling the fresh air and sun hitting his bare skin, Dean turned around and met their worried gazes. Though, as soon as the blonde greeted them with a breathtaking smile, all wide and soft and happy, all worry that had been there since Cas woke up just melted away, along with his heart when he greeted, “Morning sunshines…”

Dean looked so cozy and content, that Castiel’s heart swelled with love and even a bit of pride in his chest at the fact that he was happy here, with them, and he closed the space between them and leaned down to capture Dean’s soft lips in a chaste and slow kiss. When they parted, Cas placed one more lingering kiss to his mouth and then stepped away to take in his boyfriend’s form while Jimmy bent down in front of him to give him a gentle kiss as well, whispering, “You had us worried for a second,” against his plush lips. Underneath the blanket, Dean was in a similar state of undress as Castiel and Jimmy were, and now he understood why he was clutching the coffee so close to his chest with his hands wrapped around the cup to keep him somewhat warm.

The sun was already high up in the sky and shining down on them, and while the sky was mostly clear and bright blue, spring still carried a certain breeze with it that made it just a bit cold outside.

Giving a sincere smile at their typical worries, Dean pointed to his left and said, “They’re still steaming, so I’d better snatch one before it’s too late,” and Jimmy and Cas followed his gaze to see two more cups of coffee standing on the sunbed next to him. Then Dean placed down his mug between his thighs, unwrapped the blanket from around his shoulders, and held the endings into the air, raising his brows and looking at them expectantly, “Well? What are ya waiting for? You wanna freeze to death out here? Snuggle up.”

Chuckling, Jimmy grabbed the two cups of coffee and reached one over to Cas, who took it with a thankful nod while staring at Dean with loving eyes and a soft smile. As soon as they were both moving towards Dean, the blonde scrambled further into the middle of the sunbed to make enough room at each side of him for his boyfriends and Castiel happily snuggled up next to Dean, curling his body against his lover’s side and sighing contently as he lowered the blanket on them to engulf them in warmth.

Once they were all seated and comfortable, coffee in their hands and limbs tangled, they merely reveled in the closeness to each other and sat in comfortable silence, facing the very high glass railing, overlooking the city laid out below them. It was quiet since it was still fairly early for a Saturday morning and it looked almost peaceful from their point of view, glittering and harmonious in a way that it never truly was when Castiel stood down there. 

It was so peaceful, just sitting there, sipping on their coffees, and cuddling close to each other. Castiel could have never imagined that his life would look like this with other partners but with Dean, he could imagine everything. The man brought such brightness and consonance into their lives, so much joy and love, and Cas didn’t know how to make this up to him. Everything in his life revolved around Dean now, every decision he made, every thought. He was occupying his every dream, good or bad, even though Castiel hated waking up sweating and breathing harshly whenever he dreamt of Dean dying or leaving.

He was the love of his freaking life and the last thing he would ever want was to let him go.

“Do you sometimes just…” Dean began, and Cas almost startled at being reminded of his surroundings, only now realizing how deeply ingrained in his thoughts he had become. He looked at him, waiting for him to go on patiently while stroking his knee with his free hand through the thick blanket. Shaking his head slightly, Dean first looked at Jimmy, then Cas, setting down his mug between his legs once more, and continued, “I dunno… just wake up and think this was all just a damn nice dream? Like no way your life is truly this good right now and you’re convinced it isn’t real?”

With a soft voice, Cas asked, “Do you feel like that sometimes?” although Dean’s question had him rather worried.

Nodding slightly, Dean confessed, “Yeah. Like this morning.” There was a short pause where Cas opened his mouth to say something but Dean was quick to interrupt and soothed, “It’s nothing bad, I guess. Sometimes, like today, I just wake up and look at you two and think it’s a dream. You’re too good to be true and for a while, I get really sad about that. But then I go outside here and look down on this tiny city beneath us, watching cars pass by, watch the sun rise above it and how it paints everything golden, watch people walk across the streets hurriedly, and I just… I just know that my brain couldn’t make up all those details even if it wanted. And though it seems more plausible that this is a dream, I know it isn’t.”

Dean’s words, however soft they were spoken, had formed a lump in Castiel’s throat and he swallowed once, thickly, as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him once more. It was sad to hear that Dean’s brain still tried to play such games with him and that it seemed more likely to Dean that they were a part of his dreams, his imagination, rather than reality based on the fact that they were too good for him. They had tried to show him every day how precious and loved he was, how worthy of love he was, but it still didn’t settle in his brain and it was something that made Cas want to cry whenever he thought about it.

But he breathed through the sadness and locked his eyes on to Dean’s, placing his cup down on the tiles to turn his body further towards his boyfriend and seek out his hands and face. Stroking his cheek lovingly, Cas promised, “We are very much real, Dean.”

Huffing a soft laugh, Dean said, “Yeah, I figured this much. It’s just…” He broke their locked gazes and ducked his head, staring down at his covered legs. “I was wondering if it was only me…”

“What?”

At Jimmy’s question, Dean turned his head around slowly to prevent Cas’ hand from slipping down his face, and clarified, “Am I the only one, who feels like that sometimes?”

“No,” Jimmy admitted quietly, making sure to meet Dean’s emerald eyes. “I get how you feel. Some days I just stop in my tracks and can’t help but wonder if you’ll still be there if I come home from work. Like… if I leave you now, you’ll be gone when I’m back ‘cause you were just a dream.” When Jimmy darted his eyes to Cas quickly, as if checking in, he could see that they were glassy and Dean leaned in to kiss Jimmy tenderly, showing him just how real he was.

The next time Jimmy blinked, a tear was pressed down his cheeks and Dean grasped his face in his hands, cradling it tenderly and leaning in to put his lips on it and kiss the tracks away. He placed another kiss on Jimmy’s forehead and whispered, “I love you.”

Smiling softly, Jimmy pressed his lips to the tip of Dean’s nose and said, “Love you too.”

Then Dean turned around again, facing Castiel, who was still staring at the spot where Dean’s back had been turned towards him a moment ago. “I love you too, Cas,” the blonde whispered softly as he framed the left side of Cas’ face and wiped away a tear with his thumb that Castiel hadn’t even known was there. “Are you okay?”

He blinked away more potential tears to clear his blurry view a few times and nodded, saying, “Before you told us that you feel like this sometimes, I was thinking about my life and how everything in it revolves around you. And I thought about the dreams I sometimes have in which I lose you, and when I wake up from them, I have this ache inside of me. I feel physical pain at the thought of losing you, Dean. I only seem to be able to calm down again when I see you and when I hold you in my arms to assure you’re still with us… because I freaking love you this much.” He was barely able to hold back the sob and Dean sought out Cas’ hands with his own to twine them with his once he found them and wrap Cas’ arms around his middle so that he was holding Dean just like he said he needed to. Their eyes were locked onto each other’s and Castiel had never been more thankful that Dean was their boyfriend than now.

Miraculously, Dean’s closeness and warmth had always had something deeply soothing about it, and being with him always managed to calm him down and slow his heartbeat back to normal.

“I won’t ever leave. Not as long as you’ll have me.”

Sniffling once, Cas said, “That’s nice to hear.” He was smiling again now, and he realized that he would never have to be afraid of Dean leaving. Of course, he’d known that before, but it truly only now registered that Dean was as deep into this relationship as Jimmy and he were, and their boyfriend was the most loyal and loving person they knew, so they could practically go through anything with him and he’d still be there for them with all his heart.

To brighten up the mood again, Dean teased, “If I did, who’d make me come this hard and often anyway? You two have ruined me for every other man or woman…” and it worked just fine as Jimmy chuckled deeply and pressed his body against Dean’s back, nuzzling the spot behind his ear and humming, “Mmhh, really?”

Leaning into Jimmy’s touch with his eyes closed, Dean mumbled, “Yeahhh… with your nice dicks and big hands and strong arms and blue eyes…” Cas watched as Jimmy licked the spot behind his ear, scratching his lover’s soft skin with his scruff and making Dean grin widely, his eyes still closed. “I mean… you know exactly how to use all that. Turn me into putty in your hands.”

As Jimmy started licking and kissing down the slope of Dean’s long and beautiful neck, skipping where his collar rested, Dean opened his eyes to stare directly into Castiel’s and held them as he went on, “You know every button to push, every switch to flip…” He leaned back into Jimmy as he began to suck a mark into the meat of his shoulder, the blanket sliding down his arms, but his unwavering eyes stayed glued to Cas’. “You put me together like a puzzle, read me like a fucking book. You know exactly how to hold me, stroke one of those large hands of yours down my spine so that I’m curling into it like a freaking cat… and it feels so damn good… being loved by you,” heat was pooling low in Castiel’s stomach at Dean’s deep and raspy voice, at the way his lips formed those words, and how his eyes seemed to burn into his soul, and with a lascivious smirk, Dean ended, “being fucked by you.”

A low growl left Cas’ throat without his saying so and his breathing quickened as his body started to get very excited and aroused at hearing those words and the way Dean emphasized the last part.

Dean’s smirk only got bigger from then on and he continued, “God, and the way your fucking voices sound, so rough and low and raspy… you could read me the fucking phone book for an hour and I’d get off on that without putting a damn hand on me.”

Cas almost choked on nothing at that and Jimmy lifted his head to look at Dean with intense and lust-blown eyes, a low and pleased rumble leaving his throat at hearing this.

“You two fill all those tiny spaces inside me and fuck new ones open for yourselves, creating space inside of me that no one else’ll ever be able to fill. I love how you praise me like a god but fuck me like the devil, and you fit inside me like you were made to… like you were made to fuck me senseless and if it were up to me, I’d keep you inside all the time. I want your hands all over me, want you to ravish me, do whatever you want with my body ‘cause it’s yours as much as it’s mine.”

The blonde knew exactly how much they loved when he talked dirty, how to turn them into wild animals driven by lust with merely his words, and Castiel felt a dark thrill of possessiveness at those words and how clear Dean was making it that no one had ever managed to give it to him as good as they have. So he burst forward and crushed his lips against Dean’s in an unforgiving and bruising kiss, ravishing his mouth with his tongue as it sought out Dean’s and every crevice of his hot wetness. Dean reciprocated as much as he could with the way Cas was ravaging his mouth and he moaned when Cas started kissing him earnestly, guiding his lips with his own, parting them, taking his bottom lip between his own, and sliding his tongue inside whenever he had a chance to. Once they parted to breathe and to let their lungs recover from this rather heavy make-out session, Jimmy placed one hand underneath Dean’s chin to guide his face towards his and kiss him as well, though a bit gentler than Castiel had. It was still rough, though, because Jimmy knew that Dean liked it this way whenever they found themselves in a situation quite like this one.

When they broke this kiss too, Dean was panting harshly, his lips were glistening with saliva and pink from all the attention. It was always a wonderful sight and Castiel took it all in greedily. The way his shoulders rose and fell with his breathing, his eyes shone with mirth and lust, and how the corners of his lips pulled up in a slight grin. His shoulders were bare since the blanket had slid down to the crook of his arms, uncovering the beautiful skin of his neck and chest and shoulders, and Castiel saw that he was beginning to freckle in the sun. Little brownish dots did not only dust over his cheeks now, but also across his shoulders and chest, and Castiel wanted to count and touch and kiss every single one of them, and he felt an almost irresistible ache in his fingers to touch.

Which he did. He lifted his right hand and traced his collarbone with his finger, sliding over freckled and warm skin, making sure to trace his tattoo, while meeting Dean’s eyes and staring at him. His hand ran down his shoulder and then back up to repeat this on the other side of his lover’s body and when he slid it back up and down his chest, grazing his left nipple, Dean parted his lips to let out a sigh and his eyes fluttered shut.

Leaning in, Cas placed one more, this time, chaste kiss to his boyfriend’s mouth and smiled sweetly when he felt Dean’s grin against his lips. Parting from Dean’s mouth again, Cas said, “I can’t wait for the scene today.”

“Hmmm,” Dean hummed, opening his eyes and saying, “Me neither.”

Behind them, Jimmy leaned in closer and wrapped his arms around Dean, resting his chin on his shoulder to look at Cas and ask, “You sure you want to blindfold him and take those eyes away from us?”

Dean chuckled softly and turned his head to give Jimmy a quick kiss to the cheek. “You're a flirt.”

Jimmy merely smiled at that and looked back at Castiel, so he answered, “Yes, I am sure. The goal is to increase as much sensitivity and enhance every touch. And the best way to do that is to use sensory modification and sensory deprivation in conjunction with one another for an almost explosive intensity. Taking away his sight with a blindfold will therefore heighten all other senses.”

“And I guess it’s the most effective way to do it with a blindfold?”

Nodding, Cas said, “Yes, that’s true. Taking away his speech won’t be as efficient during sensation play.”

With a smile, Dean turned towards Jimmy once more and asked, “What? You gonna miss my eyes so much?”

“I don’t know…” Jimmy shrugged once, meeting Dean’s eyes. “I guess. I’ve just never had sex or anything where the other couldn’t see. What if I wanna look into your eyes to make sure you’re fine but they’re shielded?”

“I’ll be fine, Jimmy, don’t worry. If something should come up, though, I’ll still have my mouth to say as much,” Dean assured, his voice soft. “You guys worry too much about me all the time.”

“You’ve not once used your safeword, Dean,” Castiel reminded, meeting his eyes.

“So? You want me to reach my limit and use it?”

“No, it would just be nice to know you’d use it if it gets too much…”

It wasn’t the first time that Cas had thought about it and wondered if Dean would be honest enough with them to use his safeword when they crossed a line. Something told him that Dean would think of it as mistrust in them and that he would rather please them no matter how it made him feel than use his safeword, and it made him sad.

Dean looked at him with a frown and said, “I just said that I would tell you guys if I didn’t feel fine. What else do you want me to do? If you’re not crossing a line, I don’t have to use it.”

“But you would, right?” Cas insisted, his expression turning into one of worry. “If I hurt you or crossed a limit, if I made you uncomfortable… you would use your safeword and not feel bad about it, right?”

Confused, Dean asked, “What’s the problem here, Cas?”

“The problem is that we’re talking about your safeword and you have not once said the word during this conversation as if it didn’t exist, but it does and you have every right to use your safeword as soon as something is wrong and you want to stop. It’s your right, Dean. It’s for your own safety and well-being and I want you to know that you can safeword out of a scene without fearing for consequences or disappointing us.”

“I know that,” Dean argued, looking at him with furrowed brows and confused eyes. “I know that, Cas. But I didn’t have a need for my _safeword,_ ” he put extra emphasis on the word, “up until now, so what do you want from me? I’m fine. Every scene and punishment we’ve had thus far was more than okay for me. It felt fucking good because you know what I like and what not and I know you’d never cross a line anyway.” His voice was a bit louder than usual and Castiel realized that Dean was getting defensive.

Sighing, Cas tried to calm down and kept his voice as gentle and calm as possible, saying, “That’s what worries me, Dean. You think we can’t hurt you. You’re so sure about that, that you don’t even think you have to use it with us, but it can always happen, Dean. It doesn’t matter if we know each other for months or decades, if we love each other and know every crook and nanny of each other’s bodies. It can be a bad day for you or for me, you could be tired or I could make a mistake and that’s what could inevitably lead you to feel off or hurt you and that’s when you have to use your safeword. I know that it doesn’t change the way we love each other, it doesn’t change the fact that I’d want to continue having scenes with you and it doesn’t make you a bad submissive, Dean. I just want you to understand.”

“Why?!” Dean stood up at that, throwing the blanket off of his body and taking a step back to look at him. He was angry, Cas realized, and it made it even clearer for him that the topic _safeword_ was still not safe with Dean after all this time they’ve spent together.

“Because I’m afraid that you think you can’t use it because you think you’re mistrusting us. You think because you’re our submissive, you have to do everything we want. And maybe it’s a way of yours to say that you love us, and I appreciate that, Dean. But that’s not how it works. We know you love us. Everything you do, the way you look at us, and treat us shows just how much you love us, Dean. And I know it’s hard for you after everything you’ve been through and after Michael had so often ignored your limits, but you have to take care of yourself as well, and if that means using your safeword, that doesn’t automatically mean you don’t love us anymore. We know that, Dean.”

The blonde was completely still, merely standing there in front of them and looking at a spot between their bodies, and Castiel couldn’t take it. The day had started so nicely, he didn’t want to ruin it with his overprotectiveness, but it had to be said eventually since it was something that had been worrying him since the beginning of their relationship, and so he stood up as well and crossed the space between them to wrap his arms around Dean and hold him tight against his body. “I love you, Dean, so please don’t be mad that I worry about you.”

For a moment, Cas was afraid that he had _truly_ upset Dean because he didn’t reciprocate the hug, but then he felt how Dean turned his face to bury it against his body, nuzzling the crook of his neck, and he knew that Dean needed to just be held right now. So he did. Resting his forehead on top of Dean’s head, his hair tickling his eyes, as he soaked in the warmth of his boyfriend. A moment later, Jimmy joined them and stepped up behind Dean to wrap his arms around him as well, holding him close.

“I didn’t want to upset you, Dean, I’m sorry,” he whispered, his hand stroking down his back soothingly. “But I don’t think I could ever endure hurting you. I just wouldn’t be able to cope with the fact that I put you in pain without knowing.”

“I know,” Dean mumbled against his neck quietly, “‘s okay…” He lifted his head a bit to look at Cas and he was so unbelievably relieved to see that he wasn’t upset. “I know how strong you feel about that… about someone hurting me. You get all kinds of crazy if I’m not near you, so it’s okay, Cas, I get it. That’s just who you are and how you work. Still love you the same, though.”

Cas huffed a soft laugh at that, smiling slightly. “When I’m not with you and I can't watch over you for myself, I find myself consumed with worry that something bad will happen to you because you’re… _you_. You walk into a room and people want you, they desire you, and I’m just so afraid that…”

He couldn’t bring himself to end the sentence, but he didn’t have to because Dean smiled at him sympathetically and guessed, “That they’re like this dude from the pub?”

“Yes.” Cas smiled sadly and stroked the small of Dean’s back. “People are cruel, Dean.”

Nuzzling back underneath his chin, Dean mumbled, “Good thing that I found you two.”

Behind him, Jimmy placed soft kisses along the back of his neck and whispered, “You’re a gift, Dean Winchester.”

After they spent a few more minutes on the roof deck, talking, cuddling, and finishing the rest of their by now cold coffees, Dean declared that he was still very excited about their scene and asked if they could start after breakfast. Since Castiel saw no reason why they couldn’t do just that, he suggested they go downstairs and start preparing breakfast, so that Dean wouldn’t have to wait too long.

And just like that, they grabbed their mugs, gathered the blanket, and went back inside. The three of them were cooled down from the breeze outside and when Jimmy touched their boyfriend to tug him in and kiss him again, he felt just how chilly his skin was. So they made him take on sweats and a cozy shirt and pulled on some pants themselves, then went downstairs and turned on the TV for some background noise while they shared the space in the kitchen and prepared a healthy and balanced breakfast, as Cas called it.

Jimmy knew that breakfast on the weekends was of great importance to his twin so that they could start the day with enough energy, and so each of them prepared different things. While Dean took it upon himself to make them some fried eggs with Labneh, feta, olives, and smoked paprika on naan bread, Jimmy cooked the bacon and sliced an avocado for Cas, who prepared three bowls of yogurt and cereals topped with sliced bananas, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and chopped hazelnuts. They always gave Jimmy the easier tasks, the ones he couldn’t really mess up if he wanted since he was the most terrible cook out of the three of them, but he knew that himself, so he took it with humor and was even secretly thankful that he didn’t have to do as much as they did.

He had better qualities than cooking, things he was good at besides tattooing and sex. Like vacuuming the place, or snuggling up to his boyfriend underneath the covers in front of the TV on the couch, in bed, or on one of the sunbeds on the deck. And he was good at making Dean laugh, which was awesome if you asked him. Nothing on this earth could compare to the heartwarming sound of Dean’s laughter and the way it soothed every nerve inside Jimmy and settled deep in him.

When Dean bumped his hip into Jimmy’s side, he was brought back to reality, and he turned his head to see his lover smiling at him widely with his brows raised as he opened a cabinet to reach for some spices and seasoning. “You're gonna burn them if you don’t get them out soon, sweetie,” he teased, grinning in amusement when Jimmy turned his attention back to the pan and realized that the strips were crispy and brown and only half as big as they’ve been before.

Frowning, Jimmy hurried to grab the tongs and placed the strips on paper towels to let them drain and lose some fat. Next to him, Dean chuckled at his bad cooking skills while carefully placing the eggs on the bread, and Jimmy turned off the heat before crossing his arms in front of his chest and turning towards his boyfriend. “What are you laughing about?”

“Nothin’…” he lied, grinning at him amused, “Just… you stand there, staring into the pan and let them burn. Even I have to admit that that’s bad cooking skills, Jimmy.” And then, he started chuckling again, which soon turned into more of a giggle before he lost it completely and started laughing with his head thrown back and holding his belly. The sight was always wonderfully delightful and Jimmy soaked it all in, even though Dean was laughing at his expense. He just loved how his boyfriend bared his long and tantalizing neck and the column of his throat and how his laughter rang like church bells. It was loud and contagious and Jimmy found himself chuckling along with it as he stared into those deep, bright apple-green eyes.

Behind them, Castiel seemed to be infected by it just as much as Jimmy was and he laughed as well, turning towards them from where he stood at the kitchen island and staring at Dean with a fond expression that screamed _love._

“I remember a time where Jimmy was especially experimental in the kitchen. It was his ‘learning by doing’ phase and one day, I woke up to the smell of smoke in the house. But it wasn’t just the scent of burnt food, it smelled awful and stung in the eyes,” Cas recalled, looking at Dean and Jimmy with an amused smile on his lips.

“Don’t tell me he brunt down the entire kitchen,” Dean said, laughing.

“Oh no, he didn’t.” And yes, now Jimmy remembered which accident Cas was referring to and he blushed in embarrassment. “In fact, it wasn’t even the food. Well, it was, but that was what was in the oven because, during all the chaos, he totally forgot that there was still food in it.” When Dean gazed at him with an expectant look and barely contained amusement, Jimmy gave his twin an accusatory side-eye and listened to him go on with the story. “I walk inside the kitchen and there he is, standing in front of the stove and trying to scrape off melted plastic from the induction stovetop with a spatula. God, I had a good laugh this day,” Cas said, laughing slightly as Dean burst out cackling like this was the funniest story he’d ever heard.

Between his wheezing and breathing, Dean asked, “How does that even happen?!”

With embarrassment practically written on his red face, Jimmy said, “I placed the pan on the stove and a plastic plate next to it, so that I could put the food on it once it was cooked but _accidentally,_ ” he glared at his chuckling twin, “turned on the wrong ring and so I burnt the plate and only noticed once I realized that the food didn’t start cooking and it began to smell weird.”

This made Dean laugh even harder and Jimmy had to admit that, no matter how embarrassing this story was, he still couldn’t keep from smiling at hearing the sound of it. 

“The kitchen had been blue with its smoke when I came in,” Cas informed, not making it any better.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, Dean leaned in and met his eyes, asking, “Dude, how could you not have noticed it?” He was still laughing softly, his eyes glassy with tears from his previous outburst.

Jimmy shrugged once and defended himself by saying, “You don’t notice it when you stand in the center of it.”

Chuckling, Dean met his eyes once more and said, “That’s what I call a catastrophe in the kitchen. But,” leaning even closer into Jimmy’s personal space, he whispered, “you make up for that in other fields,” and placed one open-mouthed kiss to the edge of his jaw before withdrawing and grabbing the plates to wave them in front of him, informing, “breakfast’s ready,” and leaving behind a flustered Jimmy.

Since he still had the tongs in his hand, Jimmy placed four strips of bacon on each plate next to the Turkish eggs and also put one half of an avocado that he had sliced before on Castiel’s plate. Dean and Jimmy both agreed that avocado tasted like nothing and didn’t otherwise enjoy food like that, but as long as they didn’t have to eat that stuff, Cas could put whatever vegetables he wanted on his plate.

Dean was the first to walk towards the couch with two plates in his hands, Jimmy had grabbed the third one as well as a bowl from Cas so that his twin was also carrying two bowls, and they followed right after, sitting down on their usual spots and grabbing the blanket that was thrown over the chaise lounge. But before Dean could cover them with it, Jimmy noticed that they didn’t have cutlery for the eggs and stood up, saying, “We forgot forks and knives,” over his shoulder as he hurried back into the kitchen and opened the drawer with their cutlery to grab three forks and three knives, before closing it again and returning to the couch.

Once he handed Cas and Dean the stainless steel, he nestled back into his spot at his boyfriend’s left side and curled up against him so that their shoulders were brushing and touching each other from hip to knee since their thighs were pressed together. Then he reached for his plate and rested it in his lap just like Cas and Dean were doing and dug in as well.

At the first bite of Dean’s egg creation, all the spices and flavors exploded across Jimmy’s tastebuds, and along with the fluffy, soft egg and the bread, it was so delicious that he couldn’t stop himself from vocally showing it. He moaned and looked at Dean, who was smiling triumphantly, and the sight was so endearing, that Jimmy couldn’t even call him out on his self-praise.

Cas seemed to like the food too since he was smiling and digging in like a man starving, which only made Dean smile brighter. And like that, their Turkish eggs were gone in no time and it also didn’t take long until the bacon was taken care of. When their plates were emptied, they exchanged them for the bowls and cuddled together even closer because the food couldn’t get any colder than it already was and they always took their time enjoying the yogurt after such greasy stuff.

Chewing on his berries, Jimmy watched as Dean searched for the remote with his free hand and turned up the volume once he found it. He only realized then that Scooby-Doo was on TV right now and he was surprised that it was still so early. With his mouth still half-full, Jimmy mumbled, “Haven’t seen that show in almost a decade.”

“Practically grew up with that show,” Dean said, gathering yogurt and a few berries on his spoon to stuff his mouth with it.

“Yeah?”

Nodding, Dean hurried to swallow and confirmed, “Yeah, watched it with Sammy every weekend with a bowl of cereals in our hands. Sometimes we’d have to use water ‘cause we ran out of milk.” He seemed to be deep in memory for a moment until he flicked his eyes up from where they had been glued to his yogurt and looked at them with a small smile. “One time, Sammy tried using orange juice instead of water, saying he was sick of the way it tasted. And when he’d had a bite of his cereal, he straight out spat it back into his bowl and gagged a few times afterward, saying that water was indeed a better solution.” Dean chuckled softly and Jimmy watched with a fond smile as he continued, “Well, I tried telling him that he’d truly gonna be sick from his little experiment, but he didn’t wanna listen, so I let him experience just how disgusting it was.”

Cas laughed softly next to Dean and the blonde turned his head to look at him. “I know someone who had quite similar experiments. The only difference is that this someone was an adult and not a child,” and Jimmy knew he was meant by it, even before Cas looked past Dean to stare at him with raised eyebrows and a knowing grin.

“Haha, Jimmy the terrible cook,” he quipped, rolling his eyes in fake annoyance, “doesn’t get old at all.”

“C’mon,” Dean chuckled, “don’t be such a bitch. You always make fun of me for taking so long until I can pee in front of you.”

“That’s true,” Castiel agreed, meeting Dean’s eyes and saying, “although I don’t understand why. I think it’s rather endearing.” His voice was deeper at the end and Jimmy grinned. His twin found so many things about their boyfriend endearing, that it was almost ridiculous but he knew just how much Cas loved Dean and he understood that he couldn’t help himself but make moon-eyes at almost everything Dean did.

And it was true, Dean did have slight problems when it came to peeing in front of them, which was oddly weird. He could masturbate in front of them, watch them insert sounds into his slit, let them finger him or eat him out, but he struggled to empty his bladder with them in a room. Well, he could, but it took a few minutes until he felt good enough around them to let go and it always made Jimmy smile.

“Well, I’m glad you two enjoy my little performance anxiety, in whatever way you might…” Dean mused, waving a finger at them. “But don’t forget that there’re like four eyes staring at me, which doesn’t really help my shy bladder.”

“We’re not always staring at you,” Jimmy defended, smiling brightly at the slight blush covering Dean’s cheeks.

“You’re _always_ staring at me,” Dean argued, and okay, he was right. But how could they not when he was naked and endearing?

God, Cas was right…

“Can you blame us?” Cas asked innocently, giving Dean a wide grin, “You look truly luscious all gloriously naked.”

Laughing slightly, Dean whispered, “Flirt,” and went back to stuffing yogurt into his mouth. So, Jimmy and Cas dug back in as well and they ate the rest of their breakfast in companionable silence while they focused their attention on the TV in front of them.

When they were done, they set the bowls down on their plates where they rested on the round coffee table in front of them and snuggled back together to watch some more TV and revel in their closeness. Jimmy wrapped his arm around Dean’s back to keep him close against his side, his head resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder so that he could nuzzle his neck if he wanted, while Cas had his left arm wrapped around Dean’s middle to hold him tight and rest his hand on his belly where his fingers splayed out across the bared skin where his shirt had tucked up and stroked it gently. Dean’s head was cocked to the side so it could rest on top of Castiel’s and in those positions, they kept sitting there and relaxed just for a while until Dean’s legs started to get fidgety, which told them that his anticipation and excitement for their scene started to get too much and he suddenly sat up straight with a wicked smile gracing his lips.

Cas was more than surprised when Dean suddenly got to his knees on the couch and scrambled to hover above him, his knees bracketing Cas’ hips. Then he lowered himself into Castiel’s lap and placed his hands on each of his shoulders, leaning in and meeting his lips in a sensuous kiss.

“What are you doing, my love?” Cas asked with a soft smile once Dean broke the kiss, his hands sliding up his lover’s thighs where they sat spread wide around his hips.

“How about we go upstairs and get ready for our scene?”

Dean’s voice was low and raspy and Jimmy grinned at his antics. Whenever the blonde wanted to start sooner as planned or had a particular wish, he would use his hot, sensuous body and most seductive voice to convince them. And it worked.

Feigning innocence, Cas asked, “Start sooner?” while his hands slid further up Dean’s body, from his hips up to his waist, before snaking past the waistband of his sweats to linger there.

“Yes. I wanna surrender to you. Take whatever you allow me to feel.” He leaned his upper body further into Castiel and smiled sweetly, fluttering his eyelashes at him seductively.

“You want to be good?”

The blonde nodded eagerly and arched his back as Cas grabbed two palmfuls of Dean’s glorious ass in his hands. Through the thin fabric of his sweat pants, Jimmy could see how Cas kneaded the malleable flesh in his hands, making Dean keen at the touch and groan slightly. Their boyfriend loved having his ass grabbed so much, that they couldn’t help but fist those wonderfully firm and round cheeks whenever the opportunity arose.

“Show us,” Cas demanded in a firm but gentle voice and Dean complied without hesitation. His twin barely even had a chance to slide his hands back out of Dean’s pants before the blonde stood and walked a few feet away from them to stand on a free spot of the rug.

Jimmy watched in awed bewilderment as their boyfriend got rid of his shirt and then slipped off his sweats and boxer shorts in one go. When he was completely naked, he slowly got down on his knees, shifting a bit to rest on them comfortably, placed his hands behind his back, and bowed his head beautifully. The sight was so mesmerizing, that there was utter silence in the room except for the TV for a moment, and Jimmy looked at Cas with wide, astonished eyes, only to see pure love and admiration written in his twin’s face as he gazed at Dean with parted lips. And that was when he realized that the blonde was presenting himself to his Doms just like he did that day back in his old apartment in Kansas.

After a moment, Cas seemed to find back out of his utter astonishment and got up, slowly walking towards Dean. When he stood right in front of him, he traced two fingers from Dean’s right shoulder along his collar bones to the other shoulder in a feather-light touch that had his skin prickling, goosebumps erupting, and a soft sigh leaving his lips. Then Castiel placed those two fingers underneath Dean’s chin to lift his head and meet his vibrant eyes.

With a soft and loving voice, Cas said, “Thank you, Dean. That was beautiful.” He cradled the side of his face in his hand and Dean’s eyes fluttered shut, leaning into the touch with a sigh. “But you know we can’t start yet, darling,” Cas remembered and Dean’s eyes opened again, a bit panicked. So Castiel hurried to add, “You need a shower first.”

The blonde visibly relaxed at that and Jimmy slowly stood from his spot on the couch to take a few steps towards them.

“Jimmy and I are going to lead you upstairs and take one with you so that we can take care of you and give you a shaving because we know just how much better it feels for you when your skin is smooth. Is that okay?”

Nodding, Dean said, “Yes, Castiel, I’d love that.”

And just like that, Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and helped him get to his feet again, using his grip on him to tug him towards the stairs and guide him into their bathroom. Jimmy had half a mind to turn off the TV before he hurried to follow after them, and once he was inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him, he pulled down his pants and joined them in the already running shower.

Pulling his face away to break the kiss, Dean rested his forehead against Cas’ and leaned further back into Jimmy’s hold, meeting his Dom’s eyes with questioning ones. Dean had to admit that his boyfriends looked fucking hot with water dripping down their naked bodies and usually, he would have taken all the time he was granted to just stare at them but right now, he felt himself getting even more nervous and excited and he wanted to move this along.

“Are you nervous, Dean?” Cas asked, still very much in his element of being a Dom, and Dean nodded as he found his submissive part responding to his caring boyfriend like it was the most natural thing. “What’s your color?”

They haven’t even started and Cas was already worried that this was too much for him. If he wasn’t trying so hard to be good right now, Dean would have rolled his eyes at Cas, but he schooled his expression and said, “Green, Castiel, it’s just the anticipation.”

Nodding once, Cas turned around and grabbed two razors, smiling at him sweetly while reaching one over to Jimmy, and Dean realized what they were about to do. They’ve done this before, of course, and for whatever reason, Castiel was oddly fond of taking care of him like this, so Dean just let him. He was merely surprised that his boyfriend had noticed sooner than him that he needed shaving and he looked down at his own body, frowning.

“You’re fine, Dean,” Cas rasped against his cheek before pressing a kiss to the spot, “We just wanted to shave you because we know how much better it feels for you clean-shaven. Is that okay?”

He gave a slight nod and watched as his boyfriend grabbed the bottle of shave gel and turned off the water from above to switch to the faucet on the wall so that the gel wouldn’t be washed off immediately before squeezing some of it into his palm, applying it to Dean’s pubic area, and lathering it up with gentle strokes. Castiel was always so freaking gentle and tender even though he didn’t look like it with his stormy eyes and messy hair and big hands.

Behind him, Jimmy stepped up close and asked in a soft voice, “Would you lift your arms for me?” and as soon as Dean did, he also rubbed in some gel and started shaving his armpits.

His attention was still on Cas, though, and he kept watching him as he pulled his skin taut with his left hand to run the blade across the bristles of his pubic hair with light, gentle strokes while crouched on the tiles in front of him. It felt nice and relaxing to have his boyfriends take care of him like that, feeling the blades glide over his skin to leave behind a smooth surface. Cas rinsed and reapplied shaving cream now and again to make sure he didn’t irritate the skin, and when he moved on from his pubic to scrotal area, Dean spread his legs a little wider, placing one foot on Castiel’s thigh as he was told to so that it was easier for him to tenderly pin his cock against his belly to have access to his scrotum. He was even more careful and gentler here and by the time he reached his entrance, Jimmy was long done with his armpits.

In the meantime, he was just standing behind Dean and observing Cas from above his shoulder until his twin told Dean to turn around and bend over slightly for him. Before he did as much, Dean looked down on his freshly shaven genitals and traced his fingers across the smooth skin, thinking about how awkward this was when their relationship had been very new. “Is everything alright?”

Castiel’s soft voice made Dean meet his eyes and he nodded. “Yeah. Just thinking about how weird this made me feel at the beginning.”

“How so?”

Shrugging slightly, he said, “I dunno. Just standing there and letting you shave my most private parts… felt weird. Like my boyfriends shouldn’t do such things, you know?”

Open blue eyes locked on to his and Cas’ voice was even softer when he asked, “Do you want to shave yourself the next time?”

“No, it’s fine,” he assured because it was. Well, at least now that he got used to this feeling. At Cas’ quirked eyebrow, he confirmed, “Really.”

“If you want us to shave as well, you can tell us, Dean.”

“No,” he shook his head at that and smiled softly, “Feels good against my skin if you’re not.” And it was true. Where he preferred to have a clean-shaven pubic area as well as armpits, he liked that Jimmy and Cas only trimmed their hair because it felt really good during sex when it rubbed against his sensitive thighs or scrotum. And just like him, they didn’t have visible chest hair, which he was truly thankful for because he found that pretty unattractive.

“Okay. I was just making sure that you were comfortable,” Cas said with a small and pleased smile crossing his lips. “Would you still want to continue, though?”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, turning around and placing his hands on Jimmy’s shoulders after he gave his permission to so that he could bend down a bit. Soon after, he felt one hand spreading his cheeks apart and the cold razor gliding gently and smoothly over the skin surrounding his exposed hole. He was glad that he had taken care of cleaning himself very, very thoroughly before while Cas and Jimmy had watched because, if he hadn’t, he’d feel uncomfortably self-conscious now. Though, fortunately, it didn’t take long until Castiel pressed a kiss above his crack and mumbled, “You’re all smooth and hairless now, Dean,” into his skin.

Straightening up, he gave Jimmy a thankful smile and turned back around to face Cas with a sheepish look. “Thanks.”

Grinning wickedly, Cas asked, “What was that?”

It took a moment for him to get what Cas wanted and once it dawned on him, he corrected, “Thank you, Castiel,” and adverted his eyes.

A second later, there was a hand underneath his chin, guiding his head back up to make him meet Castiel’s gaze again and he reminded, “Don’t ever take those eyes away from me, Dean.” Then he pressed his mouth against Dean’s to kiss him chastely before withdrawing his hands and face altogether and taking a step back, saying, “Let’s get you dried so that we can start.”

Dean nodded once and just like that, Cas turned off the water, grabbed his hand, and tugged him out of the shower to start toweling him with Jimmy until his skin was dried and they asked him to wait in the bedroom while they dried themselves.

And so he did.

He positioned his body in front of the bed, facing the direction of the bathroom, and lowered himself to his knees. Usually, he’d be keeping the position with his knees wide and inviting, but today he wanted to do this right. So he rested on his calves with the tops of his feet on the floor and toes curled under for support while his knees were placed together. Straightening his stance, Dean made sure that his back was as straight as it went, put his hands behind his back with the fingers of his left hand circling his right wrist, and bowed his head so that his chin almost rested on his chest.

It had been a rather long time since he last presented for someone like this but he wanted to make sure that Cas knew just how much Dean respected and trusted him, and he wanted to show his discipline and obedience even though it probably didn’t seem very different from the typical kneeling he did. But for a trained Dom it did and Dean knew that.

So he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to prepare himself for their scene, surrendering to Cas and Jimmy only and feeling the calm wash over him that typically came with submitting. At this moment, Dean realized that, with their regular scening, he hadn’t heard that voice in a while, which only encouraged him even more to be good now.

A few minutes later, he heard the door sliding open and footsteps approach until they suddenly stopped a few feet away from him and Dean felt panic rise inside him. _What if I’ve done something wrong?..._ He wanted to shift his position, lift his head to look at them, and see what was wrong but he didn’t, even though he could feel their gazes on him like a solid weight that pebbled his skin into gooseflesh. Then, _finally_ , after what felt like ages, someone smacked their lips as if seeing something that had their mouth watering in anticipation and said, “Don’t you just look delectable, my love,” and Dean knew in an instant that it was Cas speaking. His lips twitched up in a quick smile and then Castiel and Jimmy seemed to close the rest of the space between them as he listened to soft shuffling and footfalls. A second later, a big hand grasped Dean’s chin gently and guided his head up to make him look at whoever was in front of him and he immediately knew it was Cas when he saw the fond admiration in those deep sapphire eyes and that he had no tattoos covering his upper body.

“Beautiful,” Cas whispered, his eyes sweeping over his face and then further down his body appreciatively, “as always.” He was completely naked just like Dean and from what he caught out of his peripheral vision as he noticed someone shifting next to him, Jimmy seemed to be bared as well. When he tried to peek at his boyfriend from the corner of his eyes, Castiel’s hand tightened around his chin marginally and his eyes snapped back to his Dom’s instantly. They were hard but not unfriendly and Dean was reminded of the power he had over him right at this moment, and he shivered slightly, his lips parting to let out a quiet breath. “You’re mine, Dean. And when I talk to you, I want you to look me in the eyes and nowhere else.”

Dean nodded a few times, trying not to blink to hold Cas’ freaking intense gaze, and he saw how his effort had an amused smile tugging at the corners of his Dom’s lips before it was gone again and Cas said, “Here are a few rules I want you to follow today, and I sincerely hope that you will not disobey them, or we’ll have to punish you later and that’s not what we want.” Dean merely kept staring at him and Castiel let his hand slide from his chin to cup the side of his face, still standing tall and straight to make the power balance clear to his Sub. “You won’t talk unless asked a question or being directly spoken to and try not to make sound, okay?” He nodded his understanding and Cas went on, “And you will take whatever we decide to give you, no squirming away from our touch.” Another nod and Castiel smiled, stroking his thumb across his cheek lovingly. “Do you want to begin?”

“Yes, Castiel.”

Taking a step back and withdrawing his hand, Cas asked, “What’s your color?” and Dean barely kept from sighing sadly at the loss of his warmth.

“Green, Castiel.”

With a fond smile, Cas reached for the black, satiny blindfold Jimmy was extending him and held it in both hands as he stepped back towards Dean. “Tell me if it’s too tight,” he rasped, gently guiding the cold fabric to Dean’s eyes before shielding them away from their sight and covering them with it as he tied the ends together at the back of his head. After that, Cas righted the blindfold and slid it further down the bridge of his nose to take away even the last bit of light that came through the slit underneath his eyes, depriving him of his sight completely so that everything he saw was just black. “Do you still see something?”

He shook his head in a clear ‘no’ and heard a content hum coming from his Dom. “Does it sit comfortably?” When he gave a nod, Dean heard the rustling of their sheets and the soft and wrinkly sound of pillows and covers hitting the floor as Jimmy probably discarded the bed of everything to make room for Dean. Cas was still in front of him since he could feel his warmth and it soothed Dean enough that he closed his eyes, even though that didn’t really make a difference.

“Alright,” Castiel announced softly, his strong hand locking around Dean’s left bicep, “I’ll guide you into your position now, just move slowly.” And with that, Cas tugged at his arm to make Dean get up on his knees first before helping him onto his feet carefully. Then Castiel’s other hand brushed his side slightly to turn him around and it made the hairs on his upper body stand as a shiver ran down his spine. “Take a few steps forward until I tell you to stop.”

Doing what he was told, Dean first took a cautious step towards the bed, then another one and another until he heard the ‘stop’ he’d been waiting for and halted. “Very well. Bend down slowly and brace your arms on the mattress, then do the same with your knees and crawl forward until I tell you to stop again.”

Castiel’s hand never left his body as Dean moved to comply, resting reassuringly on the small of his back as he crawled into the bed on his hands and knees until Cas said, “Stop,” and he felt the mattress dip behind him as the other man joined him. “Good,” he praised, stroking his hand down Dean’s butt and back up to rest above his ass. “Now, I want you to lay down and turn onto your back, then I’ll do the rest.” So he sunk down on the mattress with his hands still holding his weight and used this hold to flip himself onto his back.

Dean could only lay there and feel now that Cas and Jimmy were taking over and he waited a moment until his Dom grabbed one ankle and spread his leg apart before tying it to the anchor point with a rope. He did the same with the other foot so that Dean’s legs were spread obscenely wide but he knew how much Cas liked his flexibility during scenes so he just took it and concentrated on Jimmy, who was currently tying his wrists to the anchor points at the other end of the bed. His moves were slow and careful where Cas’ were confident and quick, though still gentle, and it made him smile slightly. By the time he was resting on the bed in a spreadeagle position and someone tugged at all the ropes secured around his wrists and ankles – probably Cas – to test the give and if they were tight enough, Dean was already past the point of having a chubby and his skin was already pleasantly buzzing with anticipation and excitement.

Then Castiel asked, “Color?” again as if being tied to a bed blindfolded would be too much for him but he answered with ‘Green, Castiel’ anyway, keeping the annoyance out of his voice at his boyfriend’s concern, although it was a fond kind of annoyance. He knew that Cas had to check in with him to reassure himself as well and that was fine, as long as he didn’t do it every five minutes.

The next thing Dean knew was that Jimmy and Cas retreated from the bed to leave him there all bared and vulnerable, though he could feel their gazes on him once more. Now restrained, Dean was helpless to his boyfriends and he let out a breath at this truly freeing feeling of just existing and letting his Doms take control. It made him feel strong and good; giving himself over to them and allowing them to do whatever they pleased with his body. Like he offered them control and strength in return for peace. And it was exhilarating, to say the least.

Time seemed to stop and it felt like ages that they just kept him there without speaking or moving while every fiber of his being started quivering with excitement. In fact, they kept this up for so long, that he started to imagine just the barest of touch only to realize that it wasn’t, and it drove him crazy. He knew that this was Cas testing his patience, but he would not start talking, no matter how maddening this was.

After a while, Dean thought he felt the slightest ghost of breath on his belly and he was about to get his hopes up when the feeling was gone and he noticed that he had been fantasizing once more. This time, he couldn’t stop the uncomfortable squirm at being left behind like this and the soft rustling of the sheet underneath him broke the tortuous silence in the room. It was as if the two had left the room and Dean wasn’t sure if he could still feel their eyes on his body or if it was just his imagination. And when even more time seemed to pass by – it could have been minutes or hours – he started to think that they truly left the room, but then he felt the warmth of another body close to his chest and he sighed happily when that person decided to have tortured him enough and started teasing him with his breath against Dean’s skin.

He had no idea which one of them it was but he was pretty sure that Jimmy was currently driving him crazy while he traveled down his torso to let his breath fan out across his skin and heighten all of Dean’s senses. He traveled further down Dean’s body to turn every inch of his skin into goosebumps as he huffed his hot breath against the dip of his hip, then against his belly button and further down.

Dean could feel that, with every inch he moved down his body, his lips got closer to his skin as it got hotter and hotter until those lips belonging to whoever it was teasing him like this started brushing the skin of his inner thighs. His dick gave an interested twitch and he felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin because every nerve was so sensitive, that even this barely-there touch turned him on as if someone was pouring hot wax over him. 

Those brushes of lips got firmer as they trailed down his legs and Dean thought he’d finally be getting more now until they reached his ankle and the person suddenly withdrew to leave him cold and his skin buzzing.

His boyfriends let him suffer for another few minutes with only the memory of those lips on his skin before he finally felt something again. Though this time, it weren’t lips. The item used now was soft and it created a thrill that ran through his entire body as well as a tickling sensation across his skin as it was being brushed over his chest and up the insides of his arms. It was kind of downy and when it traced along the sides of his torso, he almost squealed, clenching his hands and teeth to keep from squirming, and realized that it was a feather.

Dean’s entire skin was gooseflesh and his sensory pathways felt twice as heightened as they had when those lips were teasing him. Keeping in mind that he wanted to be good, he just closed his eyes again and took whatever they wanted to give him, concentrating on the feather tracing down his stomach and further down to his knee just to move back up again. Though, when that feather slid down his leg and up again to brush his inner thigh and genitals, he couldn’t keep from squirming at the ticklish feeling, shifting his hips to the side and away from the item instinctively at the same time as his now fully erect cock pulsed with pleasure.

It took only a second for him to realize that he fucked up and he wasn’t at all surprised when the feather suddenly disappeared and a flat hand came down hard on his thigh in a smack at which a drop of pre-cum dripped down his shaft, and he bit his lip. “Dean,” Cas chided, clicking his tongue, “That’s a warning. One more time, and we’ll have to punish you.” He used his typical Dom voice and Dean shivered as he nodded vigorously. “What’s your color?”

“Green, Castiel,” he said breathlessly.

After that, Dean was helpless to Castiel’s mouth as the Dom began to lay kisses over the curve of his shoulders, his stubble scraping across Dean’s sensitive skin. He traced his lips down the length of his body, trailing open-mouthed kisses across his chest and belly, dipping the tip of his tongue into Dean’s navel, and sliding further down to mouth at the freshly shaven and super sensitive skin of his pubic area while avoiding his cock altogether. Then he mouthed the meat of his inner thighs and scraped his teeth against it teasingly, creating wonderfully delightful friction. His scruff was so close to where Dean wanted him to be, but he mirrored this on the other side and then just trailed down his legs to lay kisses over his knees and his ankles, leaving him unsatisfied.

There was a short pause but Dean could feel Cas’ body heat above him and the mattress was still dipped where he sat, and when nothing happened, he thought that they were going back to keeping him guessing until his cock was suddenly enveloped in hot wetness as Castiel started sucking him hard, and more pre-cum dripped down his length that Cas was fast to gather with his tongue. He kept hollowing his cheeks, bobbing his head while sliding and pressing his tongue against his shaft, and Dean clenched his hands so hard to keep from thrusting his hips and moaning, that his nails nearly broke the skin. When he was about to come down Cas’ throat, though, the Dom retracted and left Dean spinning with pleasure and extremely frustrated at having been deprived of his orgasm like that.

Although his disappointment was short-lived when he felt the smooth and lubed surface of a sound pressing at his slit as Castiel grasped Dean’s cock to hold it in place. He was slow and gentle when he started to push it inside and slide it in all the way, and Dean took in the feel of its texture as bead after big bead slid inside to stuff him full. Once it was all the way inside, he realized that Cas had chosen one of the longer ones that reached his prostate and he wanted more than anything at that moment to move his dick and stimulate his pleasure spot with the rod, but he was still restrained, so he just took a few deep breaths to regain some control and prepare himself for more to come.

Once Cas was done with his cock, he knew that Jimmy was staring at it just like he did last time and it made him smile. The man had been so confused when Castiel had gotten the sound and it had been exhilarating to see Jimmy experiment with this kind of kink on him and realize that he liked stuffing Dean’s cock with rods.

When his Dom started sliding up his body and closed his teeth around the bud of a nipple, Dean was brought back to the here and now and he felt it harden instantly under his boyfriend’s twirling tongue. Cas scarped his teeth lightly across the bud and Dean almost choked on the moan he was trying to hold back at the ministration.

He’d always had sensitive nipples but right now, they were fucking insane and even the slightest bit of friction or a freaking ghost of breath would have been enough to have him leaking pre-cum like a tap if he wasn’t stuffed. The stimulation was like a freaking lightning rod of arousal straight to his cock and he let out a strangled moan that he tried to swallow as quickly as it came out. And either Cas didn’t hear or let it slip this time, but he moved on to the other side to repeat the same treatment with this nipple. Dean managed to keep still until Castiel sunk his teeth deep enough into the skin of his areola to leave behind bruises and sucked hard on his nipple as if trying to coax milk out of it. His hips bucked up automatically and he wailed as hot pleasure and pain rushed through his entire body and set his skin on fire. 

Panting, Dean struggled against the ropes, a faint groan of unhappiness sounding in the back of his throat as he mumbled “no,” when Castiel didn’t stop sucking on his nipple. He pulled off with a smack then and Dean almost whimpered when Cas and Jimmy both pulled away abruptly, and he instantly fell still, mind running through all the mistakes he had made just now and he felt panic rise inside of him.

“What was that?” his Dom asked sharply and Dean almost cringed, “that's one for talking out of turn Dean, you know the rules.” He waited for another slap to his thigh but nothing came and he frowned, wishing to be able to see Cas right now to place how disappointed he was.

Though, when he started to think Cas would punish him with a silent treatment and no touch at all, he felt something smooth and cold tracing down his side, the inside of his thigh, across his balls, and up his shaft teasingly before – what he assumed must have been a riding crop – came down hard on the underside of his pulsing dick and made him arch his back off of the bed and scream with a mix of pleasure and pain that was so good, he felt his mind slipping into that wonderful state of weightlessness immediately. He was brought back out of it soon, though, as the leather came slapping down on the same spot again before moving up just a bit to repeat that two more times in quick succession, barely missing the head.

His chest heaved as he panted heavily with the pleasure coursing through him and sparking his every nerve as he waited for another hit, but all that followed was silence and the sting left behind on his stuffed cock until Cas pressed soothing kisses to the spots he just slapped and informed, “This was not your main punishment, yet, Dean. Only a part of it.” Then he felt three fingers sliding across his lips and he opened his mouth to suck them inside and slick them up with his saliva. “Color?”

“Green,” Dean mumbled around the digits, adding, “Castiel,” as an afterthought.

“Good,” Cas whispered with a soft voice and pulled his fingers out of his mouth before pressing his lips to Dean’s in a tender kiss.

As their lips parted, Dean felt those slick fingers circling his hole for a moment until one digit pressed inside to the third knuckle and started moving around inside of him to stretch him open. When a second finger was added to the first one to start scissoring and thrusting in and out, another set of fingers began massaging his stuffed cock and thrusting the sound in and out in rhythm to the fingers in his hole. It all threatened to overwhelm him too soon, especially when Jimmy pulled the rod out to replace it with a wider one to start stretching his slit just like his ass was being stretched by three fingers, and he felt heat creeping up his neck and ears as he clenched impossibly around the digits and his hips moved on their own accord.

After a while, Cas spread his fingers as wide apart inside of him as they went and Dean was only mildly confused as he was left waiting like that before something cold was poured directly into his hole and he bit his teeth down hard on his bottom lip to stifle the surprised yell.

Castiel smiled as their Sub visibly struggled to keep from making a sound while he squeezed lube into his beautiful hole. He reached out for the ice-cold glass dildo that Jimmy had prepared while he had used the crop on Dean and took a moment to stare at the piece.

It was pink and had the shape of a tentacle, and the sight made his smile widen even more. He remembered how Dean had seen it in Gabriel’s shop and said that it looked as if it would feel pretty amazing with its texture and curve. Well, now came his opportunity to check if it really felt as nice as he guessed and Cas slowly pushed the dildo as deep inside of Dean as it went, watching as his jaw dropped open at feeling the coldness in his hole. His vocal reaction followed after the sensation had truly registered and the Sub arched his back as he pressed out a stifled yell, his hands clenched into fists and toes curled. It was a truly breathtaking sight and Castiel took it all in greedily.

Jimmy seemed to enjoy it as well, judging by his big and admiring eyes and wide grin, as he bent over Dean to start securing the nipple clamps on him and completing the punishment. The Sub sucked in a sharp breath as he realized what was happening and Cas took some time to appreciate what was laid out bare in front of them now that Dean was fully stuffed and the clamps attached. His chest heaved with the panting breaths he took, his entire body was flushed and he was practically radiating heat. Goosebumps broke out all across his skin, his cock stood large and proud, deeply flushed with its head a darker shade of red than the rest of his body, and there was lube and pre-cum gathered around his stuffed urethra that had Castiel swallowing thickly with desire.

Castiel noticed that there was a wide grin on his own face and he was sure that it was predatory as he reveled in the sight before him, letting his eyes sweep over every inch of naked skin. Dean’s lean body with just a touch of softness at his flat stomach stuffed with a sound and a dildo was breathtakingly attractive and sensual beyond measure, and Cas licked his lips absentmindedly.

When he had come into the room with Jimmy and seen the submissive in his kneeling position, he had stopped dead in his tracks and barely refrained from letting out a gasp at being presented for like this. It was a sight he would forever behold in his memory and it still made him feel warm all over just thinking about the amount of respect and trust Dean had for them.

Dean’s nervous shifting pulled him out of his thoughts and he took a step closer to bend down over the bed so that his mouth was near his Sub’s face, swallowing once before lowering his voice and saying, “You’ll have to stay quiet now, sweetheart, unless you want them to get tighter.” A shiver ran through Dean at his voice being so close and the blonde let out a soft sigh, nodding once. Of course, if this wasn’t about making Dean feel good, Cas would have never wanted him to be quiet or hold back with his reactions because those sweet noises and responses were like a boost of energy to Castiel. But since their boyfriend had quietly requested more orders and discipline in scenes recently, and Cas wanted to give him what he wanted and needed, he just complied. And even though he truly lamented the loss of Dean’s eyes and that he had to punish him for showing that he enjoyed himself like this, it was worth it in the end because they all truly loved today’s scene.

Before he continued to test his Sub’s discipline though, Cas had to make sure this wasn’t too much for Dean and asked, “Your color, my love?”

“Greenghh… Castiel,” Dean moaned, throwing his face to the side to press it into his arm, already bracing himself for what was to come, and Cas smiled brightly, crawling into the bed between Dean’s open legs and reaching his hand out to grab the end of the dildo. He pulled it out almost entirely, then pressed it back inside, circling it to press against every inch of Dean’s inner walls before pulling it back out and sliding it in again. After a while, he found the right rhythm to fuck his submissive with the dildo, and every time Dean moaned too loudly or tried to withdraw whenever he thought he’d get too close to the edge, Jimmy would readjust the clamps and screw them tighter to pinch his nipples and heighten the pressure around them.

Cas had warned Dean beforehand that, if they would do this kind of scene, he’d have to keep up with edging and a lot of teasing. And that was exactly what they were doing then. He brought the Sub close to his edge again, throughout which Jimmy had to tighten the clamps around Dean’s nipples about four times, and right before his orgasm could really develop, he pulled the dildo out completely, grabbed a large butt plug that they had also prepared before and teased it around his hole for a moment before pressing it into his ass. Cas’ smile had already been wide when Dean hissed at the stretch before it narrowed and locked into him, but when Dean felt how hot the toy was compared to the one before and buried his face in his shoulder to stifle the low moan that rumbled in his chest, the smile had gotten so big, that his cheeks had hurt. 

With the toy nestled deep inside of their boyfriend, Cas then used hot wax on him, dripping some of it across the Sub’s already very sensitive nipples, further down his torso and into his navel to leave a trail of red wax beads. When he gently pressed Dean’s erected and stuffed penis against his belly and tipped the wax down onto his balls and thighs, Dean almost yelled and his toes curled so hard from trying to keep still while the burning sensation created pleasurable pain to course through his body, that his feet turned white. Jimmy had to tighten his nipple clamps for a fifth time then and Castiel was so aroused from doing this to his lover, that his cock steadily leaked pre-cum onto the sheets. Fortunately, Jimmy had put a liquid-proof cover on top of their mattress before Cas had made Dean crawl into it so that they didn’t have to wash everything afterward.

Castiel knew exactly how to apply stimulation to coax certain responses out of Dean and to heighten his sense of touch to create an explosive orgasm later. He was still honored to do this with him because sensation play still involved a power exchange and therefore required a great deal of trust. So he used all of his knowledge and skills to make this as great an experience for Dean as possible.

Once Dean affirmed that his color was still green, Cas decided that his Sub had gotten enough warmth and probably needed something like a cool off, so he silently left the room to hurry down the stairs, grab some ice cubes, and return to his former spot just as quietly. With the ice, he started to trace the beads of wax left behind on Dean’s heated skin, watching the red drops being replaced by a trail of water as the ice started to melt fast underneath Dean’s warmth. He traced the trail of water with his hot tongue, sliding down his torso and then his thighs to get the wax off with ice cube after ice cube. When he reached Dean’s scrotum, he took some extra time to glide the ice across the sensitive skin and erase the wax, soothing it with his tongue right afterward and sucking his balls into his mouth, making Dean squirm and groan.

While he mouthed and licked at his balls, Castiel started to tease his submissive with the plug again just like he did with the dildo until he edged Dean once more, bringing him close to coming, just to stop and pull it out altogether. Since the blonde hadn’t been able to keep still and he didn’t want to risk seriously hurting Dean’s nipples, Cas grabbed three ice cubes, pulled him wide open with his other hand, and pushed them directly inside of their boyfriend’s sweet hole. Dean practically screamed at the sensation, trying to clench down around them to either expel them again or get them to melt faster, and Cas smiled triumphantly, watching his twin watch Dean with all the lust in the world written in his eyes.

“Let’s see how fast you can melt them, Dean,” Cas rasped, his voice deeper than usual as it dripped with arousal, leaving Dean to adjust to the bitter coldness inside of him and crawling off of the bed. He circled Dean’s right ankle with both of his hands and warned, “I will untie your feet now but don’t you dare move from this position. The second you move your legs or try anything else without our permission is the second Jimmy and I will pull ourselves away.” The Sub gave a curt nod and Cas took a moment to admire how Dean’s abdominals flexed as he tensed his entire body to obey.

Not taking his eyes off of Dean, Castiel walked around the foot end of the bed to untie the other ankle, then grabbed the foot and stepped back into the bed to kneel between his lover’s thighs, reaching out for the other foot to grab it as well. The blonde was breathing slowly, his chest rising and falling in a calm rhythm and Cas knew he was okay.

He pulled Dean’s legs close to his chest so that he was almost folding him in half and positioned himself over his submissive, resting on his hands and stretching out his legs. Their position was almost like the missionary one but Cas loved bending Dean however he pleased, so he grabbed his boyfriend’s leg to carefully place it on his shoulder, repeating that with the other side and sliding in further. Dean was now truly folded in half with his claves resting easily on his shoulders on either side of his neck, arms still spread and hands tied to the anchor points. His face was turned towards Castiel’s, which was hovering only inches above his, and he wished he could see those eyes and get lost in them the way he always did.

Grasping his cock in one hand to guide it against Dean’s entrance, Cas watched as he teased his Sub a little more by rubbing his blunt head against his hole without slipping inside, going to enter Dean and pushing against his opening only to hover and then stop entirely. “What’s your color, Dean?”

“Green, Castiel. But can I–” He stopped when he realized that he hadn’t gotten an allowance to ask a question and fell silent with his lips pressed into a thin line.

“What is it, Dean?”

“Can I see?” There was a short pause where the blonde merely bit his lip and Castiel blinked down on him in confusion, until Dean said, “I want to see so badly, Castiel.”

Quirking his lips up in a smile, Cas teased, “Have you earned it then?” even though he was more than ready to take off the offending piece that shielded those beautiful eyes from his own.

“I will, I promise, Castiel.”

His smile turned fond at Dean’s eagerness. “How are you planning on earning that, my love?”

“I will be your good boy. I will do whatever you want all day tomorrow, Castiel.”

“All day?”

“Yes.”

Stroking a hand down Dean’s side lovingly, Cas flicked his eyes up at his twin resting behind Dean and gave a nod once he met his eyes, indicating that he was allowed to take off the blindfold. The Sub let out a content sigh when he felt that someone was untying the knot at the back of his head and Cas leaned in to kiss his lips softly, and when their mouths parted again, he met Dean’s open and bright eyes, shining with unshed tears.

“Thank you,” Dean whispered, his voice soft, and Cas placed one more kiss to his lips before using the grip he still had around himself to guide his cock against Dean’s hole once again and slowly push inside, feeling his lover lifting his hips off the mattress slightly to take him in, inch by inch. While doing so, Dean’s lips parted as he breathed out in pleasure, his face flushed a beautiful, even darker rosy pink all the way down his neck, bringing out his freckles, and his eyes were heavily lidded but alive with pleasure. His body opened for his Dom like he was meant to fit Castiel inside and he was tempted beyond measure by the snug fit of Dean all around him once he was buried inside his Sub to the hilt.

Giving them both some time to adjust, Cas looked down between their bodies to where he was bottomed out inside Dean’s heat, his hips pressed so firmly against the elegant and luscious curve of his lover’s ass, that he couldn’t even tell where one of them ended and the other began.

With their eyes locked back on to each other, Cas tipped his head down to leave a trail of kisses along the bolt of Dean’s jaw, then captured his lips in a passionate kiss while simultaneously starting to pull out until only the head of his cock was inside of him, being squeezed tight by the ring of muscle, and drove his whole length back inside just as smoothly, repeating this over and over, letting Dean feel the stretch of every inch that filled him up better than anyone else he had ever been with, before he nailed his prostate with a particularly aimed thrust and pulled out again. They found a rhythm pretty quickly and Cas loved hearing the sounds of sex, their bodies colliding as his chest and stomach smacked against the undersides of Dean’s legs and knees, and his balls slapped the smooth skin of Dean’s ass.

He also loved feeling his Sub’s body going pliant, soft, and welcoming beneath him, listening to him quickly dissolving to little more than a whimpering and moaning mess as Castiel kept thrusting into him. If he hadn’t gotten a speech restriction, Cas was sure Dean would be begging him for more right now, but as it was, the Sub relaxed into him and let Cas take over, taking only what his Dom wanted to give him, and it made his heart swell with love at seeing Dean so compliant and good.

At this moment, he existed for Cas and Cas alone, to be used how his Dom pleased and to reaffirm that Dean belonged to him. When he bared himself like this for them, he gave Jimmy and Cas the world. It was the most mesmerizing and intimate thing to open himself up and lay bare for them to see everything that was him and take pleasure from him like that. They were the only ones who got to see him at his most vulnerable, who were trusted thus deeply to give him what he needed and make him feel this good. And it was fucking empowering Castiel.

Looking down at his lover, writhing and crying out in ecstasy with every move of his cock inside him, Cas ordered, “Sing for me, Dean,” and watched Dean close his eyes and throw his head back in pleasure, his lips latching onto Dean’s shoulder and kissing what he could reach, teeth dragging over the sensitive skin. He kept fucking his submissive good and thorough, bringing him closer to the edge with every stroke across his prostate and when he felt that Dean was barely hanging on by a thread, he pulled out entirely and stopped to look at him.

Dean sobbed, his whole body deflating with disappointment and probably frustration over the fact that Cas wouldn’t let him come for the third – or fourth? – time, but he was quick to pull the sound out of Dean’s throbbing penis and ordered, “I will give you three strokes, if you can’t come then, you won’t come in another thirty minutes,” into the crook of his neck before scraping his teeth across the skin.

And with that, Castiel shifted his angel and drove into Dean in a prolonged thrust, hitting that wonderful spot and making his Sub gasp with the force of it, before pulling out and slamming back inside just as ruthlessly and making Dean shout as his body locked up and he came, feeling his cock being milked by the steady spasms of his lover’s body. The overwhelming motion kept trying to draw him under as he continued to ride Dean through his orgasm and coax every last drop of cum out of him while chasing his own release. When Castiel finally came himself, buried as deep inside of Dean as possible to coat his walls with his sperm, he detached his lips from his neck and shifted the position of his hands to prop himself up on them so that he could look at his boyfriend. Only then did he realize that Dean had blacked out with the force of his orgasm and that Jimmy was behind him, cradling his face while checking his condition.

Cas pulled out of Dean carefully and scrambled to his knees, gently placing Dean’s legs back down on the mattress and bending down above their boyfriend. Placing a hand against his cheek, he rasped “Dean,” with his voice still rough from his own orgasm.

At hearing his name, Dean opened his eyes in a daze, blinking up at them with heavy-lidded and drowsy eyes, and Cas broke out in a soft and wide smile at seeing him like this. “Hey, sweetheart,” he breathed out happily, still breathing harshly, and caressed Dean’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

He received a few lazy and sluggish nods instead of a verbal answer but it was enough to soothe his worries and he dropped his forehead to Dean’s, their noses bumping together, and kissed him softly. After they parted, he traced his fingertips up and around his eye, gently fanning over his lashes, and said, “You were perfect,” before pressing another swift kiss on his lips. “So good. Thank you for giving this to us.” Dean merely smiled and blinked drowsily up at them and Castiel chuckled, leaning over to untie the ropes around his wrists, whispering, “God, I can’t describe how much I love you, Dean.”

Once his hands were freed, Castiel instructed Dean to clench and move his fingers and wrists to see if he felt any aches while Jimmy grabbed a glass of juice and guided it towards Dean’s lips to make him drink, then fed him the granola bar after he downed half of the drink. As soon as they checked if he was alright and made him finish his snack and drink, they both fell down sideways onto the mattress and pulled Dean’s lax and boneless body into the cradle of their own. Warm with satisfaction, Cas stroked his fingers through their boyfriend’s sweat-dampened hair and grinned widely when he snuggled backward into Castiel’s hold.

The blonde was out like a light within minutes and they let him sleep like that while they talked about how much they enjoyed this scene – Jimmy had come when Dean had blacked out – and how much they loved Dean until the dried cum on their skins started to get itchy and gross and they decided to move this into the bathtub. So Castiel got out of the bed to fill the tub with warm water, added some body wash to it, and walked back into the bedroom to watch as Jimmy tenderly lifted Dean up in his arms to carry him into the bathroom bridal style so as not to disturb the doze the blonde had fallen into.

Jimmy made him step into the bathtub first so that he could carefully lower Dean into it and place him between his legs, then climbed into it as well and cuddled up next to Dean, since the tub was big enough to allow free movement and enough space for all of them. 

They slumped together, breathing slowly, with Dean’s chin resting on Cas’ shoulder and back turned to Jimmy who pressed his chest against him and wrapped him up in his arms. Dean’s arm rested across Castiel’s chest and his hand automatically went behind his neck to trickle his warm fingers down the nape of Cas’ neck and over the first few knobs of his spine, even though he dozed softly. It was extremely endearing and soothing, something that Dean had started doing whenever they were basking in the afterglow of their orgasm together to reassure them of his well-being, and Cas had to admit that he was craving the gentle attention just as much as the way Dean was always touching them, finding little reasons to be in their space outside of sex.

It settled him and something deep inside of him, and he reveled in the warmth and familiarity of it while he found himself dozing off as well. When he glanced at Jimmy, he saw that his twin’s eyes were already closed and he leaned back, closing his eyes too, and smiled slightly.

For his patience, Jimmy would be rewarded in the morning because, at the beginning of their relationship, they had decided that the person who didn’t get to have sex with Dean during a play session would do so the next morning as a nice way to start the day to make sure there was a certain balance between the sex Cas would have with Dean during scenes and the sex Jimmy would have with him. They all loved lazy morning sex underneath the sheets and wouldn’t start the day without it, and all three of them were a little insatiable when it came to intercourse in general, though only one of them got to have Dean in the morning to not overwhelm him – it was still just to start the day nicely and not to make him orgasm multiple times after all – and so they agreed that it seemed only fair to have this arrangement.

Thinking about it now, Cas realized that he would probably wake up to Jimmy thrusting languidly into Dean while their boyfriend was still half asleep and the first thing he’d see would be Dean’s lips twitching up into a smile while his brain slowly started processing and beginning to understand what was happening before he’d press back and encourage Jimmy to go deeper and faster. The thought made his smile widen with fondness and Cas let out a content sigh, letting Dean’s slow breathing coax him into a doze as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: angst, dirty talk, shaving, sensation play, sensory deprivation, sensory modification, impact play, riding crops, blindfolds, temperature play, sex toys, dildos, nipple clamps, bondage, urethral play, urethral rod, sounding, discipline, edging, teasing, wax play, butt plugs, inserting ice cubes anally


	14. March

Sweat glistened across his entire body and he adjusted his grip around the base of the blue rubber to shove it in even deeper, moaning as it pressed against every just so tiny space inside of him. 

Throughout the span of almost an hour – maybe even more –, Dean had been using three different toys to open himself up for his Doms, starting with an average size, that wasn’t really average at all compared to his boyfriends’ dicks, then working up to bigger ones. The whole time, he could feel two pairs of eyes staring at him as if wanting to be the current toy he was using to stretch himself open and this just added fuel to the burning fire that was his arousal inside him. But he had yet to use the last item to be somewhat prepared for the goal of this entire scene, even though he already felt impossibly stretched and full.

His hole clenched around the silicone while he fucked the toy in and out of his ass and he let out another moan as the filthy squelching sound of it rang through the bedroom, filling the tense and heavy silence. Dean knew without looking that Cas and Jimmy were red-faced and stroking themselves leisurely while watching him from where they sat in front of the bed.

He was on his hands and knees, propped up on one arm as the other reached back to thrust the rubber into his ass again and again. His hair was damp with sweat and he was leaking so much pre-cum with all the stimulation, that there was a pool of it gathering on the liquid-proof cover underneath him. Dean was pretty sure his entire body was flushed dark red and his panting and the moans he let slip got louder with each passing minute as he brought himself closer to the edge.

Castiel had one rule, though, and that was not to come until he had used all four toys and Jimmy had had his first orgasm, so his whole concentration was focused on not coming too soon.

Once his arm started shaking with the effort of holding himself in this position, Dean pushed the toy inside one more time, pressing it against his inner walls and trying to prepare himself for the last and even bigger one, before he pulled it out all the way and deposited it to where the other toys have already gathered. With all strength leaving his body at once for a brief moment, Dean let himself flop down on the mattress with his chest and closed his eyes, taking a few calming breaths.

Behind him, he felt the mattress dip and he smiled with his eyes still closed and face buried in the cover when one of his Doms gently put a hand to his hip, caressing his skin, and asked, “Are you okay, Dean?”

Dean used his arms to lift his shoulders and his head enough to look at Cas, a drop of sweat running down his forehead and stopping at his eyebrow at the motion. “Yes, Castiel.”

“What’s your color?”

He was so out of breath, that he had to take two more lungfuls of air before answering, “Green, Castiel.”

With a small smile, Cas reached his hand out towards the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of water that he had put there earlier, then extended it to Dean and lifted his brows expectantly as he waited for his Sub to take a few sips. So Dean heaved his exhausted ass off the mattress and placed down on his knees to chug half of the bottle’s content, reaching the water out to Cas with a breathless gasp once he’d finished.

Smiling a satisfied smile, Castiel rested his hand behind Dean’s neck and stroked the skin there, fingertips playing with the strands of his hair, “You’re doing very well, Dean. One more toy and we can start the main part of this scene.”

Dean barely kept the whine from slipping out of him at those words… because didn’t that just sound fucking exhausting? He’d been on this for almost an hour now, fifty minutes of fucking himself open with toys in varying sizes and being on the brink of coming. And just the thought of having to endure four orgasms after this was enough to make him sag with exhaustion. But he had agreed to this scene and he wanted to please his Doms, so he hurried to get a grip on his emotions and took a few more calming breaths, before grabbing his last toy and knee-walking back into the center of the bed where the bottle of lube had been abandoned earlier as Cas returned to his spot in front of the bed next to Jimmy.

While he covered the rubber with as much lube as he thought was needed, Dean took in the design of it. For whatever weird reason, he loved unique dildos. He loved colorful ones, weirdly-shaped ones, or ones with amazing texture. One of his favorite go-to's was _Bad Dragon_ because they had really cool stuff that Dean found felt pretty nice and he liked that they were this huge. They even had toys with knots or tongue-shaped ones, which sounded odd, but he had seen weirder shit. The absurdest he had ever seen was one shaped like the Queen… not even Thor’s hammer could trump that. Dean truly wondered who’d fuck themselves with something formed like a person, let alone a person like the Queen. He’d feel dirty and wrong knowing he was pleasuring himself with a dildo like that and he didn’t know what was alluring about that, seeing as it wasn’t even funny.

The toy he was holding in his hand now was a unique one as well, with its candy-colored pour, medium firmness so that the silicon squished whenever Dean tightened his hand around it, and enormous girth. It was a large size and one of the biggest – though not longest – ones they owned with an 8.5 circumference of the shaft and 8 inches total length, though not the entire shaft was insertable because of the base.

Dean already knew that this was going to be a tight fit but the toy was what he needed if he wanted to be double penetrated – he knew by experience. He had only tried this once before with Michael and another professional Dom, whom he’d met with a few times to see if he trusted him with this and if it would work with him and Michael together before even planning a scene. Once he had decided to go along with it, he’d been pretty horny every time he thought about it and had even been excited. The reality of it, though, had been days’ worth of scenes where Michael had slowly prepared him for the actual one with strap-ons and that stuff, and when the day had come, Dean had spent hours prepping himself and stretching his ass open enough to be penetrated by them both.

So he knew that it took a lot of work and time, and because his ass was already accustomed to their length and girth and easily opened for either Cas or Jimmy, it hadn’t been difficult to use the first three toys, but this one was huge and Dean swallowed thickly as he jerked his hand up and down its shaft to coat it with lube until it was dripping with it.

Then, Dean made sure to get his channel all lubed up again, this time also coating his rim and the space between his asscheeks so that it would be a smooth glide, _hopefully_ … And once that was done, he laid down on his back, his feet planted on the mattress with his legs wide spread so that Jimmy and Cas were getting a good show, and grabbed the rubber, slowly guiding it to his hole while relaxing his muscles and taking a few steadying breaths.

Before he started pushing it inside, though, Dean had to lift his head off the mattress to see if it had the right position because it was so big, that it felt like its head was everywhere. But the tip truly was brushing his hole and so he started to impale himself on it, his toes curling and teeth grounding together as the stretch burned and the overwhelming pressure had his every nerve on fire. It took a very long time, a lot of readjustments, and Dean had to add more pressure to keep it from popping out again, but once the head was fully buried inside him, the rest slid in comparatively smoothly.

When his cheeks hit the base, Dean let out an enormous moan, taking his hands off of the toy and just letting it stay there while he threw his head back and felt his ass clench around the toy in synch with his heartbeat. Everything inside him seemed to pulse around this massive thing in his ass and he lifted his hips off of the mattress to circle them before spreading his legs even wider and grinding his ass back down into the mattress with another moan, his cock bobbing and spurting pre-cum onto his belly with the arousal he felt from being spread open like this.

He freaking loved feeling this full.

Jimmy and Cas seemed to love the sight as much as Dean enjoyed the feeling and when he lifted his head to glance at his Doms, he saw how flushed their skin was, how their chests heaved with panted breaths leaving their lungs, and how dark and hungry their eyes looked. But the best thing about them was how they were both clenching a white fist around the base of their cocks to stave off their orgasms and Dean smirked, letting his head fall back and closing his eyes. He was so fucking close to coming that it hurt and he knew that he had to start fucking himself on it sooner or later, but the second he’d start, Dean was sure he’d explode. He just needed a few more minutes.

In the meantime, he lifted his hips off the mattress once more and traced his slick cleft with the finger of his right hand until it reached his stretched rim, then slid it around his stretched muscle to circle the toy and hopefully tease his Doms some more. He did that a few times until he could practically feel Jimmy and Cas growing impatient, and then grabbed the base of the rubber to twist it around a bit. It hurt more than Dean had anticipated and he groaned as pain shot through his ass, so he turned it back around with another pitiful groan and pulled it halfway out. The audible gasp coming from one of his boyfriends at this was worth the pain though and Dean pushed it back into his hole, then stopped before it was even all the way inside, only to pull it back out and thrust it in again.

His back arched and he moaned, another drop of pre-cum adding to his belly. Dean was so hard and aroused, that it bordered on painful and he was sure that a snap of fingers would have been enough to tip him over the edge at this point. But he kept going, fucking himself open with the toy and listening to the filthy squelch it made when being thrust into him, and when his head started to swim and his mind went foggy, he closed his eyes and welcomed in the feeling that usual swept him off his feet and made him float.

But before it even had a grasp on him, there was a hand clasping his thigh, fingers biting into the meat of it, and Dean snapped his eyes back open to look at Castiel’s set expression. “Not yet, Dean. You know the rules.”

Blinking a few times, Dean noticed how worry made a quick appearance in Cas’ features before vanishing again, setting them back into a schooled expression. “I’m sorry, Castiel,” he whispered, suddenly ashamed that he had almost gone into subspace this fast.

“Hush,” Cas whispered, stroking his thigh lovingly to soothe the sting, “None of that. Now, what’s your color?”

“Green, Castiel.” His answer was clear, even though he was exhausted. He would not fail his Doms when he _knew_ he could do this, and he could.

“Are you sure? You know that if you’re lying to us, we’ll have to punish you.”

Keeping a neutral expression even though he felt like rolling his eyes, Dean assured, “Green, I’m sure, Castiel,” and watched as a small and pleased smile graced Castiel’s pale and plush lips.

“Very well, my dear,” he said, straightening up and walking towards the nightstand to grab the water and reach it out to Dean yet again. When he moved to sit up with his legs crossed, Dean realized that he was still impaled on the toy and hissed as the new angle stretched his rim even more. Taking the bottle, Dean downed the rest of it and was rewarded with a pleased-looking Dom once he reached it back out for him to deposit.

When he turned back around, Cas placed a hand flat against Dean’s chest and pressed his back into the mattress, grabbing the base of the toy and slowly pulling it back out. He was extra careful with the head and went even slower until it popped out with a weird sound and Dean’s hole clenched around nothing but emptiness, literally gaping.

At Dean’s questioning look, the Dom said, “We think this was enough preparation now, and you were so good. You didn’t come and used all four toys. Even the ones you thought were unnecessary.” He brushed a dark and damp strand of Dean’s hair from his forehead and placed a lingering kiss to the spot, and Dean only then realized how fucking sweaty he really was. “Now,” Cas said, his voice louder and dropping an octave, “Show us that you belong to none other than us, that you are _our_ submissive,” and Dean found himself burning even hotter from the possessive undertones to Castiel’s voice.

The Dom stepped back, leaving Dean cold for a moment, until Jimmy switched positions with him and joined Dean in bed, his cock red and hard, bobbing with every move he made. Licking his lips at the sight, Dean snapped his eyes back up to meet Jimmy’s and he blushed when he saw the knowing smirk on his boyfriend’s face at having caught him staring. “You like what you see, Dean?” His voice rumbled and Dean shuddered slightly, shifting on his ass.

Nodding, he whispered, “Yeah,” and began to turn on his hands and knees for Jimmy to present himself, but the man grabbed his hips during the process and turned him back around, brows furrowed as he stared at him.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

His throat made a loud noise when he swallowed and Dean wracked his mind to see what he’d done wrong but came up blank. “Presenting for you, Jimmy…?”

“So I won’t see your face when I fill you up with my cock and hide all those pretty expressions you do for me while being pleasured? I don’t think so, sweetheart.” With that, Jimmy grabbed his thighs and slid him further down the bed so that his ass was pressed against Jimmy’s legs where he kneeled at the end of the mattress. Bending down to hover above Dean, Jimmy rasped, “I want to see what my dick does to you… how good it makes you feel,” into his ear, making Dean moan lowly.

_Cas really taught him how to talk dirty…_

Then Jimmy grabbed both of Dean’s legs and spread them wide, saying, “I need to test something first, tell me if it hurts, please,” before pressing them forward and against the mattress, slowly as to not pull one of Dean’s muscles. He ended up guiding Dean into a position where his knees touched the mattress next to his chest with his feet behind his head and arms wrapped around the insides of his knees to keep them in place. He felt stretched and completely bared like this and also like his muscles would just snap any moment, but then Jimmy looked down on him with this twinkle in his eyes that he always had whenever Dean showed his flexibility, and he looked so darn happy and excited, and when he asked, “Do you think you could stay in this position for me?” all breathless and gentle, that Dean couldn’t do anything else but nod, even though he didn’t think he was _that_ bendy.

But Jimmy had just added ‘for me’ to the question like the sweet guy he was and Dean fucking loved to please. It was why he was in this scene in the first place. He just freaking loved when his partners took pleasure in his willing compliance, especially Cas and Jimmy.

So he ignored all thoughts telling him that this would be a bitch and start hurting after a while and that he’d probably have some aching in his legs and hips tomorrow, and submitted to Jimmy, giving him exactly what he wanted.

After making sure that Dean was truly okay with this position, Jimmy let go of his ankles and slid down his body, taking a close look at his open and gaping hole. A wide and predatory grin started to grace his lips and he let out a low rumble from deep in his chest, before musing, “Look how you ache for me, Dean… ache to be filled.”

Jimmy waited only a few more seconds before he coated his cock with lube and lined himself up, the head of his cock resting against Dean’s hole. He leaned down, almost blanketing Dean’s body with his own, and wrapped both hands around each of Dean’s ankles to use them as leverage but also to prop himself up like this. Then he snapped his hips forward and sank inside Dean’s hole, moaning in unison with him as he threw his head back into the mattress, feeling pleasure shooting up his spine like fire.

Once they both adjusted to the feeling, Jimmy pulled his hips back again only to thrust back inside, setting a harsh pace as he fucked Dean deep and good. The force with which Jimmy was pounding into him set off fireworks behind his eyes as his head pressed back into the mattress as much as it could with his mouth falling open while silent moans and whimpers left his lips.

The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin and Jimmy’s deep groans, and Dean just took it. His hips started moving of their own accord after a while, lifting up and meeting Jimmy’s thrusts halfway as his Dom fucked down into his loose hole.

Dean let go completely, something he could only do with Castiel and Jimmy. Even though he thought he’d done that with his other Dominants before, this didn’t feel anything like what it felt like with Michael or anyone else. He could _truly_ let go, completely, let them take care of him while he surrendered to them without any fear or embarrassment. He didn’t have to be afraid of being hurt. He didn’t have to be prepared to drop again after a Dom had crossed his limits once more. He didn’t have to worry about any of that with Jimmy and Cas and he just loved that.

When they had sex together, it was amazing. But when they were in a scene together, Dean felt as pure and safe as anyone could ever be and that was also when he felt most like himself. When one of them sank into him, filling him up and stretching him, he felt like he never wanted to feel anything but that ever again.

He turned his mind off while Jimmy pounded him, moaning like a wanton whore as the man ravished him, his entire body wrecking with the force of his thrusts. Dean felt his orgasm right underneath the surface and he knew it wouldn’t take much longer until he snapped like a twig and came all over their bellies, but he tried to stave it off for as long as possible to obey Cas’ orders.

_Jimmy had to come first._

By the way his thrusts picked up on speed and his breaths came harsher and louder, Dean knew that Jimmy was close, he just had to coax it out of him sooner. So he did the only thing that he knew always sucked the orgasm right out of them and clenched down around Jimmy on purpose, trying to stay that way and form his channel into a tight vice as Jimmy kept thrusting. The pressure around his cock made it harder for him to thrust inside and pull back out and Jimmy moaned at the feeling, hanging his head with his jaw dropping open and his cock pulsing as he was close to the edge. After a moment, though, Dean had to relax his muscle again and allowed Jimmy to pick up the pace once more, only to clamp down around his shaft once he was fully sheathed again, and Jimmy threw his head back, shouting Dean’s name as it ultimately tipped him over the edge.

When Dean felt Jimmy ejaculate inside of him, pumping him full with sperm, he finally, _finally_ , allowed himself to let go and sighed in relief when his orgasm washed over him with such force, that it left him breathless for a moment.

“Fuck, Dean…” Jimmy huffed, still pulsing inside his ass with the aftershocks of his release, panting heavily, and Dean grinned, still trying to find his own breath again.

He felt so good, that he thought he could fall asleep right then and there but Dean kept gazing at Jimmy through hooded eyes and slowly came down from his high.

Once they both calmed down, Jimmy pulled out carefully and helped him stretch his legs out again, and Dean moaned at the freeing feeling. He offered him a drink from a new bottle Cas must have brought and Dean took a few sips before falling back into the mattress, his body heavy with exhaustion. _Already._

After a few minutes’ break, Jimmy gave him a soft kiss to his lips and walked away to make space for Cas. The Dom was still hard and leaking, and for a moment, Dean felt bad for him to have waited so long for his release, but then he remembered that he would have to do this three more times and his body ached from the mere thought. 

“Dean? What’s your color?”

Castiel’s voice was close by and soft, soothing even, and Dean said, “Green, Castiel.”

“Are you sure?”

He chanced a glance at his Dom’s eyes then and almost whined at their intensity. His gaze was so fucking heated, roaming over Dean like he was everything he had ever dreamed of and it only made Dean hotter, more desperate to be good and comply, and almost needy for another orgasm. So he swallowed once, staring directly into his eyes, and assured, “Yes, Castiel.”

Once he assured Cas that he was fine, Jimmy sat down and watched as Dean’s knees pulled up again and dropped to each side, opening up to his Dom. The sight was absolutely stunning and he already felt his body trying to get aroused again.

Castiel grabbed a pillow from the floor beside the bed and leaned over Dean to gently guide his head off the mattress and put the pillow underneath. The blonde smiled fondly up at Cas and shifted his shoulders slightly to get into a more comfortable position and Jimmy’s heart swelled in his chest.

“Okay,” Cas declared softly, knee-walking into his position in front of Dean and extending his hands towards his Sub, “Lift your legs, bring them to your chest and give me your feet, Dean.”

Frowning, Dean did what he was told and lifted his legs upwards to then bring his knees to his chest, holding his feet in the air. Castiel hummed contently at that and wrapped his large hands around Dean’s ankles to gently rest his feet against his own chest, each foot on one pec, getting into the right position, still on his knees though, and leaning his upper body slightly over the blonde so that the tops of Dean’s thighs pressed into Dean’s chest entirely. After a moment, the Sub raised his hips a bit without having to be told to and lined up his entrance with Cas’ stiff cock. 

“Are you comfortable, Dean?” Cas asked, placing his hands above the bridge of his lover’s feet to cover them with his palms and dropping his chin to press a kiss onto one of his toes.

Nodding a few times, Dean breathed out, “Yes, Castiel,” and rested his hands on the underside of his own thighs, almost on his asscheeks, and framing his spent cock.

With that, Castiel slowly pushed his hips against Dean’s ass and Jimmy could hear the wet squelching sound of his thick erection forcing its way into him and stilling once he bottomed out completely before pulling back out of his Sub’s slick and sloppy channel. Jimmy had a whole new view now and the sight of Cas’ cock moving in and out of Dean in slow and long strokes was more than just arousing, which was why he found himself hard in quite no time again.

As Cas kept moving in a steady and sensual rhythm – Jimmy didn’t know how he always managed to stay so calm inside Dean, especially when he had been watching Dean fuck himself with four toys and be fucked by Jimmy before –, Jimmy allowed himself to take in his beautiful boyfriend, now that he wasn’t in such a haze to come himself.

This time, the Sub didn’t move his hips to meet Castiel, merely stayed still and took what his Dom was giving him. His breathing was slow and deep, just like the pace of the sex he was having, his head was thrown back into the pillow to bare the long and wonderful column of his throat with his mouth wide open – although no audible sounds were leaving Dean’s lips, Jimmy could see how he formed moans and words – and his eyes were closed, which didn’t happen often during sex because Dean loved eye contact as much as they did. His body wrecked slightly with every push of Castiel’s cock into him and his belly seemed to deflate every time Cas pulled back out, and everything combined as wells as every detail on itself was the most captivating thing Jimmy had ever seen.

Castiel seemingly enjoyed himself as he playfully rolled his hips into Dean, probably making sure to stimulate Dean’s prostate, and slowly pulled back out with a wide grin on his face only to roll them against his Sub and penetrate him again and again. After a while, Dean started to get hard once more, his cock bouncing with each thrust of Cas into him, and Jimmy smiled when he noticed how Dean’s fingers itched to touch himself where they rested so close to his cock.

As if reading their minds, Cas rasped, “Touch yourself, Dean,” and pushed inside with a little more force than before, his smile wide as he looked down to watch Dean sigh with relief and start stroking himself in rhythm to his thrusting. “Look at me.”

Without hesitation, the Sub lifted his head and met Castiel’s eyes with hooded ones. Strands of hair were clinging to his sweaty forehead and his mouth was still open with the breaths he took.

“Massage your scrotum, Dean, and play with your urethra with the other hand.” Shuddering visibly, Dean nodded and complied. He started cupping his balls with his left hand and fisted his right one directly underneath his head to swipe his thumb across his slit, gasping loudly as he pressed its blunt nail into the opening, while Castiel kept thrusting into him, slowly picking up the pace as he neared his climax.

“God, you feel wonderful around me,” Cas grunted in between harsh breaths as his movements began to falter, “So utterly wonderful.” Dean merely whimpered quietly at the particularly harsh thrust that followed to accommodate his words and Castiel tightened his hands around his feet, dropping his chin once more to kiss his toes while he kept pushing into his submissive again and again until he ordered, “You’re so good for me, Dean, so perfect. Come for me, beloved.”

To Jimmy’s surprise, the blonde obediently crested into his second orgasm, moaning lowly as his cock spilled hot cum onto his belly once again and his ass visibly clenched around Castiel’s moving shaft. The spasms of Dean’s body around him from his orgasm were probably what pushed Cas over the edge as well, and he stilled his hips with his cock deep inside Dean and cursed as his release was milked right out of him. 

The sounds and the visuals were enough to make his own cock pulse with want, but when Cas carefully pulled back out of Dean once they calmed down again and Jimmy watched as a mixture of lube and their combined cum dripped down his cleft while his ass was still on display like this and his hole gaping, had him strung impossibly tight already.

Cas helped Dean put his legs down on the bed and relax again, stroking his belly lovingly while whispering sweet praises into his ear, occasionally pressing his lips against his temple. Their boyfriend was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his skin glistening in the dim lights of their room and chest heaving.

“We will give you a break now until the second part starts, okay?” Cas asked, caressing Dean’s forehead and brushing the hair back that was still stuck there, and Dean merely nodded, closing his eyes and trying to calm down.

Jimmy walked towards the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of water to refill the glass, then reached it out to Cas and watched as his twin took it with a thankful nod. Carefully, Castiel snaked his hand underneath Dean’s head and guided him into an upright position so that he could rest the glass against Dean’s lips and said, “Drink at least half of this, my dear.”

Eyes still closed, Dean tipped his head back slightly and Cas did the same with the glass, careful as to not let too much water drip into Dean’s mouth at once, and the blonde swallowed down almost everything. When Castiel retracted the glass once Dean signaled he had gotten enough, there was only a little bit left in it, much to Cas’ obvious content.

They spent the next ten minutes watching Dean rest, giving him the break he deserved, and calling his name to keep him from slipping into subspace or falling asleep. Once Castiel decided that Dean had calmed down and regained enough strength, he asked, “You have two more orgasms still in front of you, Dean, do you think you can make it?”

Opening his eyes slowly, Dean only hesitated for a second before meeting their eyes and whispering, “Yeah…”

“Your Color?”

“Gr-green, Castiel,” Dean swallowed once and Jimmy frowned, meeting Cas’ eyes.

“Are you telling the truth?”

“Yes, Castiel, I’m fine… I just don’t know if I can come two more times…”

Cupping Dean’s cheek with his hand, Cas asked, “Why? Do you feel any pain?”

“No, I’m fine. It’s just so exhausting and it takes so long.”

“We have all the time in the world, darling, but if you think it’s too much, we’ll have to stop here.” His voice was soft and Jimmy knew that Cas wouldn’t want to hurt Dean and rather stop this than continue, even though they’ve all been pretty excited about this scene for a week.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Dean shook his head and looked at Cas again, his voice quiet but honest when he said, “No, Castiel, I want to continue.”

“Okay,” Cas nodded, stroking his cheek before withdrawing his hand and standing up. “We’ll do as you wish.” He looked at Jimmy expectantly and took his seat in front of the bed once more, eyes then focused on Dean only.

Seeing it as his cue, Jimmy moved into the bed again and shuffled towards Dean on his hands and knees, stopping when he hovered above him. For a moment, all they did was stare at each other until Dean leaned forward and snagged his bottom lip with his teeth, the scrape against his sensitive flesh just enough to surprise, and Jimmy gasped.

He smiled at the cockiness that had somehow found its way back to Dean during his break, even though it was only there much too short before the Sub flopped back down on the mattress and stared up at him with open and ethereal green eyes. “Are you ready?” Jimmy asked to assure himself of Dean’s well-being and grinned when the blonde nodded and bit his lip, whispering, “Yes.”

With his consent given, Jimmy grabbed Dean’s hips and slid his lover’s ass on top of his thighs at the same time as he lowered himself down on his legs, still somewhat kneeling. The heels of his feet pressed into his buttcheeks and Jimmy reveled in the weight of Dean’s body in his lap, looking down at him as he arched his back so that only his shoulders and head were pressed into the mattress and held his weight. Letting go of Dean’s ass in favor of taking his legs and placing them on each of his shoulders so that Dean’s calves rested on them, Jimmy made sure that this was still a comfortable position for Dean and let him shift a bit once he was done.

After that, he placed his hands on Dean’s thighs and held them tight as he righted his hips, positioning his crotch and lining his cock up with his boyfriend’s gloriously leaking and sloppy hole. Taking a deep breath, Jimmy slipped inside easily with the exhale and didn’t even still before pulling back out and thrusting inside again.

He repeated the movement a few times before falling into a more manageable rhythm, less dramatic though no less intense. The only thing moving was Jimmy’s hips where Castiel had used his entire torso to roll into Dean, ending the move with his hips. Even though his thrusts weren’t as long and deep as Cas’ had been, Jimmy made sure to angle his thrusts to ensure he nailed his boyfriend’s prostate on every inward glide, which, judging by the way Dean responded to him, worked just as well for Dean. 

The blonde took his pleasure, hips shifting back and forward now, his chest heaving. The flush that had been covering his entire body since he’d fucked himself with the third toy started to deepen even more, running from his nipples to his collarbones. His head was tossed back just like the times before and his mouth parted around a silent moan, and he was so beautiful, that Jimmy would give up anything, _everything_ to keep Dean just like this; flushed, happy, and healthy.

An easy but breathless grin spread across Dean’s face as he met Jimmy’s thrusts with subtle, corresponding moves of his body, and Jimmy recognized it with fondness as he kept up his pace, chasing his own orgasm while bringing Dean closer to his.

They kept going like that for a long while since neither of them was quite ready enough to climax again so soon until Jimmy started to feel the familiar feeling of the knot tightening in his belly, pleasure adding to it with every thrust into the submissive. Dean’s movements started to falter, though, as he grew more impatient with every passing minute. By the time Jimmy added a finger to slide it in alongside his thrusting cock, tears were gathering at the corners of Dean’s eyes, his own cock still mostly soft. After another few minutes – Jimmy was sure they’ve been doing it for almost thirty minutes now – he added another finger, which was still not much of a stretch for Dean after that thorough prepping he had, and started to massage his prostate while simultaneously keeping up the pace and thrusting into him over and over.

The direct stimulation seemed to be what finally began to make Dean hard again, although it didn’t bring him to full length or erection. But this scene wasn’t about getting erected four times in a row, it was about multiple orgasms, and Jimmy could work with that. So he added yet another finger before deciding to add all four, all the while he rolled his hips into Dean’s body and kept massaging and rubbing his boyfriend’s pleasure spot.

Jimmy couldn’t wait to see Dean be double penetrated. He had only seen stuff like this in porn before, which was why he had been even more excited when they had planned the scene last week. And just the thought was enough to make him quicken his pace and chase his release.

Tears started leaking out of Dean’s eyes as it took some more rubbing, fucking, and coaxing until he sobbed once, loudly, and came again. He didn’t ejaculate as much as he had before and his orgasm wasn’t very long but probably no less intense than the first two and it still left him panting and spasming around Jimmy, who leaned over Dean and pressed a soothing kiss to his lips as he neared his own climax.

Once he reached it, his release seemed to steal all of his breath away and the orgasm left him gasping for a moment until he breathed harshly, trying to come down from the high while his cock still emptied inside Dean.

Cas was there, right beside them, when Jimmy carefully pulled out and helped Dean into a sitting position. The blonde was still panting heavily, his eyes red and his cheeks wet with tears, but he took the glass and drank all of the water given to him anyway. His hair was an absolute mess and he looked so exhausted, that Jimmy was sure Dean felt like sleeping for the next week, even though he wasn’t even done yet.

“What’s your color?” Cas asked close to his ear and Dean met his eyes with honest ones.

He was fucking frustrated with how long it had taken him to come a third time and he felt as if climaxing again would take another two hours. His body ached in places he hadn’t even known had muscles, not even his ass hurt like this. To be honest, his ass was still fine since he had not yet been double penetrated and the fingers Jimmy had inserted previously didn’t come close to what it would feel like to take Cas’ dick and another rubber at the same time. He appreciated the thought nonetheless and it had felt quite good to have his prostate massaged by fingers while being pounded into simultaneously.

But still, he was so goddamn exhausted and his bones felt heavy and he had to tell Cas the truth, he owed him this much, so he whispered, “Yellow, Castiel.”

It wasn’t the first time that he had used the color in a scene before generally but the first time he said it with Castiel and Jimmy, and he didn’t know how they would react, so he kept his head down. Too much of a coward to look them into the eyes.

There was a short pause, then, “Say it again, louder.” He opened his mouth and was about to repeat the word, when Cas grasped his chin and said, “And please look at me while doing so.”

Swallowing thickly, Dean met his Dom’s eyes and rasped, “Yellow, Castiel,” his voice thick with nerves. Cas’ face was neutral, his eyes intense, and when he reached his hand up to his face, Dean was somehow convinced that he’d get hit now and flinched back. He regretted it immediately, though, when Cas placed it against his cheek, stroking lovingly, and especially when he saw the hurt in Castiel’s eyes at his reaction. 

The Dom had always been able to school his features and keep it neutral, even when he was frustrated or had to be in his element and couldn’t show his affection for Dean during punishments. But now, his eyes were filled with hurt and regret as they searched Dean’s, and he felt his insides twist painfully at the sight.

He hated himself right then. He wanted to fucking slap and scream at himself because… what on earth made him think Cas would ever hurt him?

Blinking a few times to seemingly press back the tears already gathering in his eyes, Cas swallowed once and cradled Dean’s face in his tender hands. “I want to let you know that you can always use your safeword to end a scene, Dean. We would never be disappointed in you or mad at you for doing so. And you have the right to express how you feel and tell us to go a little slower. So if you say your color is yellow, then don’t expect us to be sad about it. We have this color system for a reason and we can all make use of it without being afraid to do so, Dean. I thought you knew…”

His voice wavered at the end and it was spoken so softly, that something broke inside Dean, and he just nodded, not knowing how to make this good again.

“Why do you want to take it slower?” Cas asked, still so soft and with all the love he possessed.

“It takes so long, Castiel,” Dean said weakly, trying not to divert his eyes. At Cas’ questioningly look, he added, “My orgasm… it-it took so long the last time and I think I need another break so that I can collect a bit of strength for the last one.”

Nodding once, Cas asked, “Do you want to continue as planned after your break, or do you think this is too much?”

“I want to continue. I know that I can, Castiel. I just need a break.”

“Yeah, okay,” Castiel breathed out, nodding, “That’s not a problem at all, Dean.” His thumbs stroked the skin underneath his eyes and Dean leaned forward into the touch, sighing. “Do you want anything else?”

Shaking his head, Dean mumbled, “No, just a pause.”

“You’ll get it,” Cas assured, not letting go of Dean’s face.

After a moment of silence, he said, “Castiel?” At the answering hum, he continued, “I’m sorry.”

“I know. It’s okay, Dean.”

When their eyes met once more, Cas’ gaze was soft and his smile small, and Dean felt like he could breathe again.

They stayed like that for a while, then. Not moving or talking, just soaking in each other’s warmth while Jimmy sat beside them, smiling softly at Dean whenever he looked at the twin. His Doms gave him as much time as he needed, and after a 15 minutes’ break, he decided that he’d had enough time to regain some strength and told them that he was ready for the last one.

Of course, they never started something without Cas’ typical reassurance and when Dean heard the words “are you sure?” for the seemingly hundredth time today, he barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes and leaned forwards into Cas’ space, a smirk on his lips as he rasped, “Yes, sir.”

A responding smirk crossed Castiel’s features and he clasped his hand around Dean’s wrist, growling, “I’m not your ‘sir’, Dean. I’m your boyfriend and Dom and you better treat me like one.”

Dean merely grinned even wider and agreed, “You’re right, sir.” The next thing happening was another growl even though Cas smirked in amusement and Dean barely contained the yelp as he got manhandled, Cas’ strength surprising as he flipped Dean over; chest to the bed, hips canted up, toes curling back into the mattress, and legs spread obscenely wide. He moaned at the show of dominance and when he felt Castiel’s hands glide over the swell of his ass where their combined cum was still leaking out of his gaping hole.

Knowing exactly how particularly sensitive Dean was to stimulation around his entrance, Cas sure thought he could reprimand him for his bratty behavior by blowing a cool stream of air on his skin, probably watching raptly as goosebumps popped up along his flesh and a shudder ran down his spine.

_Freaking tease…_

Then Cas withdrew from him and Dean felt him leave the bed, hearing footsteps. So he turned back around to watch his Dom walk towards their toy-supply and pull open the drawer, taking out the dildo he’d been talking about when they had planned the scene. It was a black silicon cock attached to a cockring, about seven inches long and five inches thick. Combined with Cas’ length and girth, it made for a super tight fit inside Dean, he already knew, and he swallowed thickly – if not hungrily – as the Dom walked back towards him only to stop in front of the bed and wrap his hand around the base of his cock, slowly sliding the cockring over his length and fitting it snugly around his shaft and balls. With the cockring in place, the silicon cock lay right above Cas’ own one and rested on his shaft, and when he stepped forward to get back into bed, both the real and the rubber cock bounced with each step.

Suddenly, Dean found that he had no more saliva to swallow, and all his nerves came crashing back in, reminding him why he had answered with yellow in the first place. He wasn’t afraid to be taken like this, under different circumstances, he’d even fucking beg to be taken like this because he was a needy cockslut, but he had already come three freaking times tonight and he didn’t know how his body was supposed to manage another one without breaking.

Caressing his hip soothingly, Cas asked, “Do you have a position you’d prefer?”

Nodding, Dean tried to keep from trembling and said, “Yes. I kinda liked the position you’ve put me in just now, Castiel.”

“Alright,” Cas said softly, “But I’d like to do some adjustments.” Dean just nodded once more and turned back around to get into his previous position again; on his knees, legs wide spread, and chest to the mattress. “Very well, now I’d like you to sit back on your legs so that your butt is on top of the back of your ankles.”

Frowning, Dean did as he was told and sat back up again, making sure his back was straight.

“Okay, now lean forward again as far as you can and try to displace your butt as best as possible because I will need the access. You can either wrap your arms around your legs or spread them out behind your head on the mattress, whatever feels better to you.”

Dean realized then that Cas wanted to fuck him in some sort of turtle sex position and he grinned slightly as he leaned forward with his chest until his ass was in the air completely with his knees digging into the mattress, hopefully giving Castiel the access he wanted, and then wrapped his arms around the backs of his legs, turning his face to the side so that it rested on the mattress as well and he was still able to see and breathe.

“Perfect, my love,” Cas praised, stroking down his back. “Is this comfortable?”

“Yes, Castiel,” Dean breathed out because it actually was. He could just rest like this and he didn’t have to concentrate to stay in this position. Also, like that, his ass was already at the right height for Castiel’s hips, making it easier for him to penetrate him.

Then, Dean listened to the slick sound of Cas coating his cock and the rubber with lube, slicking himself up before suddenly inserting two lubed fingers into his already slick hole and making sure that the penetration would be smooth enough, and Dean mentally prepared for what was to come. He closed his eyes and started breathing deeply and slowly, relaxing all of his muscles and allowing Cas in.

His Dom rested his cock and the rubber against his hole, holding Dean’s hips in each hand for leverage before stroking his skin there and trying to distract him from the stretch as he started to push inside as slowly and carefully as possible. Everything inside him concentrated on taking inside what was given to him, opening up around Cas and the rubber, although the last dildo he had fucked to prep himself was almost nothing compared to what was invading his ass now.

Castiel fed him his cock a little bit at a time, filling up every last inch of empty space inside of Dean while drawling praises and telling Dean how good he was until he was stuffed to the fucking brink and drowning in how full he felt. Though Cas had to stop several times because Dean’s channel kept clamping down around them and stopping them from pushing further inside, and just the penetration took so long, that Dean began to feel frustrated. He was sweating, shaking, and panting by the time his Dom finally bottomed out and kept still to let him adjust to the feeling. Dean’s mouth was hanging open from the impossible stretch, had already been from the sensation of inch after inch sliding home and filling him up, but he felt as if his ass had been impaled on a fucking baseball bat, the only difference was that Cas’ pulsing and throbbing flesh and the medium-firm silicone of the rubber were at least giving in to some extent when he clenched down around them.

And it hurt. Well, he knew that it would hurt – it was still not the first time after all – but with all the sex he had already had before and his already tired and fucked-out muscles, it was literally a pain in the ass. Tears had welled up in his eyes from the sting during the process, but Dean ignored them as much as he had ignored his embarrassing whimpers throughout it all. He was thankful that Cas was still letting him adjust to it because his ass was still clenching and unclenching around them as if his body was trying to take in their size and shape.

But after a few minutes, Castiel pulled out again, stilling once more, and Dean was about to ask what was wrong when he heard the cap of the lubricant being opened as Cas probably slicked them up once more, and Dean’s body sagged with relief.

God, he had such caring boyfriends, that thinking about it made him cry sometimes – secretly.

“Are you okay? What’s your color?”

“Green, Castiel. I’m good.”

With that, Cas started to push back inside, the slick sound of them forcing into him chiming through the entire room and Dean let all the sensations wash over him, bringing him closer to subspace. It was so much deeper and when Cas started to set a pace, the strokes were longer, harder, pushing against places inside Dean that lit him up as much as his Dom’s groans and praises, and the painful feeling started to morph into pleasure.

That was where Dean lost track of everything but the sensation of Cas’ thick cock and the rubber shifting inside of him and the way Castiel was consuming Dean from the inside out, breaking him in, claiming and taming him.

His entire body was a wash of sensation and building tension, and he couldn't begin to focus on any one part because it was all just too much. The aches in his muscles were being replaced with desire and arousal, and even though Dean was enjoying himself, he realized in the back of his mind that he was crying, everything inside him screaming at him to fucking _come._

Unfortunately, or so Dean thought at least, it took forever for him to even get his dick hard just a little bit from all the exhaustion and that just frustrated him so much more, that he started crying – silently, of course, because Dean fucking Winchester did _not_ cry loudly during sex – even more. He was fucking enjoying this, feeling as good as ever even with all the aches and the exhaustion but he was still not able to freaking climax soon enough and he started to feel bad for Cas. Because the man had to keep going – for what, forty minutes? – until Dean finally felt the first few traces of a climax building low in his belly.

When Dean was close, Cas leaned over his back and nipped at Dean’s neck with his teeth, inflaming the skin past the point of pleasure, but he welcomed the feeling because it distracted him from his frustration for a while. By now, Dean would have come twice under normal circumstances, but as it was, Cas had to keep thrusting, keep stimulating his prostate, and even reaching a hand between his legs to start tugging on his cock as his silent sobs wracked his body as much as his Dom’s fucking did.

His other hand was biting a hard imprint into Dean’s thighs as he was probably hanging on for dear life behind him and for a short moment, Dean caught himself thinking that it hadn’t been such a bad idea to combine a dildo with a cockring, but then the knot in his stomach got so impossibly tight, that he had to clench his eyes shut, the cresting of his fourth orgasm hitting him harder than any other orgasm before, and he sobbed as he let it all go and finally – fucking _finally_ – came again. Tears leaked from his eyes for a totally different reason now as pleasure mounted and crested again and again.

It was one of those orgasms that hit you like a fucking train but seemed to go on forever, sending shockwaves of pleasure echoing through him again and again that left him feeling like he had been wrung out emotionally and physically. His muscles twitched around Cas as the man kept moving behind him, and Dean felt fatigue settle into his very bones as his mind went blank and he felt that wonderful carefreeness taking over everything else. He went slack soon after, the last thing he felt was Castiel nuzzling down into the crook of his neck, his fingers stroking Dean to overstimulation, but he didn’t want it to stop – he never wanted Cas to stop touching him – then hearing Castiel cry out his name but it sounded as if from far away as he followed him over the edge, coming deep inside him. Suddenly, everything went black and bliss took over.

Penetrating Dean hadn’t been an easy task and he had been as careful as never before as he sunk in an inch at a time, slowly but steadily, feeling Dean stretch and yield to him. The sight of his hole stretching to accommodate the width of him and the black dildo was so filthy and astounding at the same time, that Cas had almost blown his load before he was even all the way inside.

He’d been forced to stop several times, though, not just to ensure he didn’t climax too soon, but also because Dean had been clenching down around him like a vice made to drive him crazy and the impossible pressure had made it difficult for him to penetrate, so he went with the pulses of Dean’s body and only ever pushed when he had been relaxing around them.

When he had finally bottomed out completely and been buried inside Dean to the hilt, he’d had to dig his fingers into his Sub’s hips with enough force to bruise, overwhelmed by the sensation of how tight a fight it had been. He had paused for a few minutes then, to let Dean calm down and adjust as well as give himself time to regain some control over his body and catch his breath.

Dean could already be mind-blowingly tight around his mere shaft, but he had never anticipated that this was what it would feel like to double penetrate someone, and he had been grateful for the cockring around his balls and shaft since that had been the only thing holding back his release at the maddening tightness around him.

Once he had been sure they were both ready, the slick, wet sound of his hips colliding with his Sub’s with abandon and his cock and the rubber forcing their way inside again and again had filled the room, and Castiel had grown foggy from all the different sensations. Especially when he had reached a hand around his stomach and let his thumb trace the slightly distended curve of Dean’s belly, which was filled with their combined sperm. He had gone absolutely crazy then.

One hand was still clamping Dean’s hip bruisingly when he leaned down to nuzzle his lover’s neck, trying to calm his crying. Cas knew that his Sub was frustrated with how long his last orgasm took him and he wanted to let him know that it was okay; he’d keep going for hours for Dean. And he did. He kept thrusting into Dean as he reached a hand between his legs and began to stroke his cock, wanting to wring every possible ounce of pleasure from him and make this feel as good for him as it felt for Castiel.

He let his teeth scrape across the skin of Dean’s neck as suddenly white-hot sparks lit him up from the inside, stilling when he felt his Sub’s tight hole starting to clench around him after what must have been more than half an hour, and he smiled sweetly, whispering praises into his ears as tears leaked from his eyes, as his body spasmed with his climax again and again, and as he went slack underneath Castiel.

The suction of Dean’s body around him as his orgasm made him pulse around Cas brought him so very close to his own release again, that he let out an outrageous moan, pushing inside and pulling back out to chase after his own orgasm while continuing to stroke his Sub through his high. But then Dean came a surprising fifth time and Castiel was starting to worry about him as he seemed to lose consciousness, when his release swept over him like a tidal wave, rocking him to his core as he choked out ‘ _Dean!’_ and emptied himself for the last time inside of his submissive. The orgasm was so intense, that Castiel lost himself in it, his hips rolling of their own accord, body pressing down against Dean as he took his pleasure.

As soon as he could think straight again, he stopped thrusting and stroking Dean’s cock immediately and carefully pulled out all the way. He had to go really slow then and caressed his lover’s hip soothingly throughout it, watching with rapt attention as both his head and the rubber cockhead popped out of Dean with a squelching sound and left his hole gaping and empty.

For a brief moment, he felt a dark thrill of possessiveness and pleasure when he looked at his boyfriend’s sloppy, used, and open entrance. Milky liquid poured out of it and down the back of his thighs and Cas shuddered as the sight sent a new wave of desire through him. Dean’s hole was a little too red and over-stretched after so many rounds of truly vigorous sex and though part of him knew they should have been gentler, the dominant part of him reveled in how wrecked and ravished the stunning submissive was and loved seeing the bruises on his neck from his teeth or the ones from his hands on his hips.

_This only belonged to them._

He merely let himself take in their boyfriend’s state for a few seconds before gathering him in his arms and turning him around, gently placing his boneless body down on the mattress. Dean’s face was tear-streamed, a few drops still clinging to his lashes, and red. He was soaked in sweat and covered with cum and lube but he was still absolutely beautiful.

Shaking his body slightly, Cas rasped, “Dean? You were so good, so fucking fantastic. You always are. And you did everything we wanted you to because you’re such an amazing submissive and we love you for that. But not just for this,” he pressed a kiss to his forehead, “We love everything about you, Dean.”

Jimmy was there on Dean’s other side, also stroking him and pressing kisses into his skin.

“Dean, we would like you to come back now, though,” Cas said more firmly, trying to get through to Dean. “Just open your eyes so that we can see that you’re okay, nothing more.”

It took some more coaxing and shaking his body slightly until Dean blinked up at them through foggy eyes as if trying to orient himself. They helped him drink a little more water, fed him a granola bar, cuddled with him, and talked to him, still praising, and though Dean managed to keep his eyes somewhat open, he was unresponsive to questions and seemed to be more in a deep daze than truly here with them. It shouldn’t have worried Cas yet because Dean was always like that afterward but he had the unsettling sense that something was off.

So, when they have provided for necessary aftercare, Castiel decided to prepare a bath for Dean as well, which usually was his favorite form of extended aftercare and the reason why almost every scene ended with all three of them huddled together in a tub. The blonde had told them once that the warmth always managed to make the aches in his body after a scene go away and that it relaxed him even further, and they were happy to give him whatever worked best for him. The fact that Cas loved cuddling Dean in a tub filled with warm water was just a bonus.

Jimmy stayed with Dean and kept touching and cuddling him while Cas walked into the bathroom and prepared the bath. He made sure that it was full enough and had the right temperature, added some bubbles because Dean was sweetly fond of them, and went back into the bedroom, coming out to a sleeping, blissed-out Dean wrapped up in Jimmy’s arms. Stepping up to the bed, Castiel gave his twin a sign that he was going to take their boyfriend into the bathroom now and Jimmy nodded, untangling his arms from around Dean to allow Cas to slip his own arms under him, hefting him into a bridal carry and bringing him to the bath.

Dean didn’t stir when he lowered them both down into the warm water of the oversized tub, resting his back against the porcelain with his legs parted to make room for Dean’s body. He loved how perfectly the blonde fitted there, as if he belonged between Cas’ legs, and he put his hand against his chest to carefully push his body against his own chest with his back. The procedure was slowly coming to Cas like making a pot of coffee in the morning and he sighed when he guided Dean’s head into the crook of his neck so that the back of it rested on his shoulder, turning his face to nose Dean’s cheek.

After a few minutes, Jimmy joined them in the tub as well, holding a washcloth in his hand while lowering his body into the water in front of them. Cas watched him get comfortable for a moment, then said, “He’s still very out of it,” as he stroked the soft skin of Dean’s belly.

“He’ll be fine, I saw that he enjoyed it,” Jimmy assured and Cas knew that he did. But it was still an intense scene, Dean had said yellow to take it slow and he had still cried during his last round, which didn’t really calm the worry and unease building inside Cas.

“Did you enjoy it?” he asked instead, trying to distract from bad thoughts.

Nodding, Jimmy breathed out, “Yeah, I really did.” He leaned forward and started to gently rub the cloth across Dean’s skin to wash him and clean off the sweat and cum sticking to him. “I mean, it was hot as hell and Dean came five times, and I’ve never seen double penetration in real life.” There was a soft smile gracing his lips as he swept the cloth across his lover’s thigh, then he lifted his head and looked at Castiel, asking, “You?”

“I did. Very much.” It wasn’t a lie because he truly enjoyed the scene tonight, but there were still some things that worried him, besides the state their boyfriend was still in.

“Cas?”

Distractedly, he rubbed his hands gently across Dean’s chest and stomach, watching the water slosh with the motion, and had to tear his eyes off to meet Jimmy’s gaze. “Hm?”

“He scared you when he flinched back, right?”

Dean’s reaction hadn’t scared him, it had straight out devastated him. He’d had to fight tears from dropping at the sudden reaction and the pure anxiety he’d been able to see in Dean’s eyes for the blink of a moment. It had crushed something inside him, seeing Dean flinch back from his hand because he thought he was going to hit him after saying ‘yellow’ as if thinking he was back with Michael for a second.

The fact that he had said ‘yellow’ had worried Cas enough, but the reaction had made him want to stop the scene altogether. But he had been alright and so had Dean and he didn’t see a reason to stop and risk upsetting Dean, though thinking about it now made Cas question if he had made the right decision.

Nodding, Cas admitted, “He terrified me, Jimmy. I’ve had to use safewords before in a scene, I’ve had my subs using theirs when it had gotten too much for them, and I’ve dropped before, but this was new. It wasn’t because of the scene, it was because of me. He flinched back from me. And it hurt.” His voice broke at the end and a tear dropped down his cheek, landing in the water with a quiet sound.

“You know that, as soon as he realized it was you, he was fine and regretted it even,” Jimmy said, his voice calm and soothing and his expression soft and sympathetic. “He knows you’d never hurt him.”

“But something that I did must have reminded him of Michael or Alastair or someone else that hurt him before and that is what still worries me.” His hands were still washing the skin that he could reach absentmindedly while he let the scene play revue before his eyes.

“Cas, you know Dean. It wasn’t something that you’ve done, it was probably just the fact that he said ‘yellow’ and he didn’t know how we’d react because he’s had bad experiences using the word before.”

And yes, the things Jimmy said sounded plausible and even right, but Cas couldn’t be sure. It could have been anything that had triggered Dean’s anxiety during the scene, even if it had just been for a mere second. And as a Dom, it was Castiel’s job to make sure that something like this didn’t happen, that his Sub was safe and taken care of. Add the fact that Dean was still more out of it than he usually was at this point and the realization that Cas had had pretty possessive and dark thoughts during the last round, and it resulted in him being worried and feeling bad.

Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder and when he looked up, Jimmy stared right into his eyes. “Hey, you’re a good Dom. I know I had my worries at first, but I was wrong. You may be the most caring man I’ve ever seen and the way you care for Dean and how much you love him…” Jimmy’s eyes drifted to their boyfriend and he smiled fondly as he took in his closed eyes and slow breathing. “He’s safe with you, Cas, and he knows it.”

Giving a small and thankful smile, Cas whispered, “Thank you,” and pressed his face into Dean’s hair, breathing him in.

The two took their time cleaning Dean up and washing his body and hair before rubbing themselves clean. Jimmy told him that he had already taken care of the liquid-proof cover and that their bed was prepared for the night, relieving Cas of having to do that as well. Once they were washed, they got Dean out of the tub and Cas’ heart started beating faster with the slow rising panic inside of him. Usually, Dean would’ve been back to normal now, talking to them and being himself – just more tired – but when they dried his body and carried him back into the bed, tugged him in, and tried talking to him again, all they got was a fluttering of his eyelids as he tried to look at them and a smacking of his lips as he nestled deeper into the sheets and closed his eyes again. He was out in less than a minute then.

It frustrated Cas but not as much as it made him feel worried and sick to the stomach.

Sure, Castiel had to admit that Dean succumbed faster to subspace than any other submissive he had ever scened with before but that was harmless. He knew Dean enjoyed pain during their scenes and the right amount of pain always managed to get Dean to lose himself in this transcendental state. And even if he was still ‘floating’ at the end of their scene, he had always been able to pull himself back out of it by the time they wanted him to get out of the tub. Jimmy and Cas usually let him enjoy this peaceful tranquility because that was what felt even better than any orgasm to Dean, so he’d told them once, but this was not how he usually acted and it scared Castiel.

Jimmy pulled out the plug to drain the water and took care of cleaning the toys, even though Cas told him that he didn’t have to do it and that Cas could just take care of it himself. But his twin seemed to sense the mood he was in and Castiel was thankful for his consideration. And once that was done, Jimmy joined them in bed and took his usual position, wrapping his arms around their boyfriend and pressing his chest to Dean’s. Cas was spooning the blonde like he always did and he buried his face in the back of his neck, trying to calm his beating heart and his unease.

It didn’t take long for Jimmy to fall asleep and as much as Cas wanted to succumb into slumber, too, his thoughts and his worries didn’t allow him to close his eyes for just a second. He felt so bad and sick, and he wanted to shake Dean and wake him up, talk to him and assure himself that the man was fine, but he couldn’t, which made him feel even worse and it was also the reason why he spent the night going through everything that happened without being able to close his eyes or sleep at all.

His entire night was spent restless and without peace no matter how many times he listened to Dean’s calm and slow breathing, no matter how often he pressed his nose into his hair and heard his boyfriend hum contently, pushing back into his chest. The fact that he had to go to work in the morning didn’t help either, it just made him feel worse – they had had to delay their scene from Saturday to Sunday because Jimmy had an important appointment.

He would’ve been lying if he said that he didn’t check on Dean and made sure he was fine several times during the night regardless.

Next to him, Dean shifted in his hold, mumbling something incoherent, and Castiel turned his face to look at his stirring boyfriend. Jimmy was already awake and he smiled softly as he watched Dean blink his eyes open with a groan at the bright daylight coming from all around them, bringing a hand up to caress the side of Dean’s face while Cas just stared at them.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Jimmy greeted, still smiling, and even Cas felt the corners of his mouth twitch at Dean’s answering groan. The blonde was _so_ not a morning person.

“Hey…” Dean drawled, hiding his eyes behind his hand and trying to get up into a sitting position. He ended up half lying still, with his elbows propped up behind him, and blinked a few times before looking at each of them and repeating, “Hey.”

Castiel whispered a ‘good morning’ against his lips right before he gave him a chaste and slow kiss. The contact between them soothed some of his worries and calmed the tornado inside of him down enough that it was only a storm. But it was a storm nonetheless and Cas felt like crap. His body felt heavy, his head as if it was going to explode with the headache the missing sleep had given him, and he felt uneasy. Plus, he realized that he had struggled to look Dean into the eyes just now when their lips had parted and their faces had hovered, so he made sure to lock them with his own again and again while they continued to lay in bed and talked until the alarm went off and signaled that it was time to get up and ready for work.

When Dean usually declared that he was going to fix them all a nice breakfast, Cas would always be more than happy about that but today, he just felt like throwing up and the mere thought of having to swallow down anything that wasn’t coffee made his stomach churn. Though he did so anyway when Dean put the plate in front of him with a dazzling smile and his bed-hair.

Cas made sure to ask Dean several times if he was okay and whether he wanted to talk about last night or not, but Dean just hugged him, hooking his chin over his shoulder gently, and said that he’d never felt better – except for the sting in his ass – and that he didn’t see a reason why they should talk about it unless he or Jimmy wanted to before giving him a kiss, so Cas dropped the topic.

And truly, Dean seemed more than fine. He was glowing the entire morning before work, except for when he sat down on the hard and unforgiving dining chair and cursed so loud, that Jimmy almost choked on his bite of pancakes in his mouth. For whatever reason, seeing with his own eyes that Dean was fine and hearing him say so was still not enough to make him feel better, even though he’d hoped that it would. And when the blonde left the table to go upstairs and get dressed since he was usually the first to leave the house, Jimmy asked him if _he_ was alright because he’d been silent the entire time.

After lying to him that he was, Cas made sure to mask his worries better than he had obviously done before and kissed Dean goodbye with a small smile, then waited for Jimmy to leave as well and told him once more that he slept over it and was okay now. He called in sick at work five minutes after his twin had left the apartment and went back into the kitchen to start washing the dishes, even though they had a machine for that – anything to distract him from his thoughts and this guilty feeling inside him. And once the dishes were done, he started scrubbing down the entire kitchen, vacuuming the place, and cleaning everything up.

By the time he got a break – because the whole place was clean – his hands were shaking with nerves, his worries seeming to get the best of him, and he couldn’t think straight anymore. Everything inside screamed at him that he was bad, that he wasn’t worthy of Dean’s love, that he messed up, and that he lost Dean’s trust. It drove him crazy and he didn’t know what to do or who to ask for help, so he grabbed his phone and texted Jimmy, and when he threw his phone aside and went downstairs to search for other things to clean, he already forgot what he’d even texted.

> **_> > I think I ruined everything, Jimmy… I don’t know what to do…_ **

Jimmy had just been thinking about last night and how fucking amazing Dean was while he chewed on his sandwich in the diner he usually ate lunch at during his break when his phone had buzzed in his jean pockets. He had grabbed the device, thinking it was from one of his co-workers, and had been surprised to find that Cas had texted him so early and opened their chat without really thinking anything bad.

But now that he was staring at the message, an uneasy and heavy feeling settled down into his stomach and his mind started making up various scenarios of what his twin could have ‘ruined’. He was sure that it had nothing to do with his work, maybe Cas had messed up some financial stuff or maybe it even was a joke and he ordered too many things for Dean again, though something deep inside Jimmy knew that that wouldn’t be the case either.

Then he thought about last night and how angsty and worried Cas had been and remembered that his twin had asked Dean a few times if he wanted to talk about it this morning. But their boyfriend had been fine, and Jimmy thought Cas had been too. Maybe he was wrong, though, and Castiel truly was sitting at work and driving himself crazy with worry.

Whatever it was, Jimmy had a feeling that it wasn’t good and he needed to know what was wrong to help his twin, so he opened his contacts to call Cas and waited for him to pick up, unsuccessfully. The man didn’t answer his phone even after the fourth try and Jimmy started to get really worried.

Opening the _Find My_ app on his phone, Jimmy tracked Cas’ location to make sure he didn’t go to the wrong place and his heart started beating even faster when he saw that Castiel was still at home and not at work. His entire life, Cas had never once stayed home and called in sick if it wasn’t something really drastic, so Jimmy had a right to be concerned.

He grabbed his jacket from the chair next to him, waved a waitress to his table to pay for his meal, and hurried back across the street to his tattoo studio. As soon as he reached his room, he gathered his stuff and told the receptionist to cancel the two other appointments for today and call the clients to reschedule, thanking him for doing the extra work on his way out before getting home as fast as he could, wary of what could await him there.

When he arrived at their place and closed the door behind himself, he found the apartment quiet but suspiciously tidy and took off his jacket to throw it onto the back of the chair at the kitchen island, then toed off his shoes and slowly walked up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. Carefully, he opened the bedroom door and found no movement either, so he stepped inside and turned towards the bed, finding Cas curled up in it with his head pressed into Dean’s pillow and tired-looking.

Making his presence known in the silence of the room, Jimmy breathed out, “Hey,” and took a few strides towards the bed. Castiel looked up at him then with glassy eyes and Jimmy saw how nervous and worried he was, so he closed the space between them and sat down at the edge of their round bed, asking, “What’s wrong?” Cas merely turned onto his other side to face Jimmy and propped himself up on his elbows but said nothing. “Do you wanna tell me why you texted me this,” he grabbed his phone and waved it through the air a few times, “and what it means?”

Castiel swallowed thickly and his eyes glistened suspiciously now, as he sat up straight with his legs crossed and elbows propped on his knees, hands dangling. “I ruined things with Dean, Jimmy…” his voice was shaky and quiet, raw with emotion. “I-I may have ruined what we have with him and I-I…” He searched for words, his mouth opening and closing a few times, but came up with nothing.

Frowning, Jimmy asked, “What are you talking about? Why would you have ruined our relationship with Dean?” This didn’t make sense to him at all.

“Because I hurt him last night, I went too far and he’s afraid of me. And how can he be with someone who hurt him and who he’s afraid of?” The words came out strained and were laced with so much pain, that hearing Cas say them hit something deep inside Jimmy, and it hurt. “And I got so possessive. I’m an animal, Jimmy. He said yellow and he thought I was going to hit him and then he got lost in subspace for such a very long time… I–”

Cas’ thoughts got all mixed up and Jimmy needed to help his twin find back to reality, so he grabbed his wrists and held them tight when he said, “Castiel, listen to me. You did _not_ hurt Dean. You’re not an animal and he’s not afraid of you. Yes, he said yellow, but he needed a longer break and he got it. He wanted to continue and had fun, I saw it and I’m sure you felt it. Yes, he cried, probably because his orgasm took so long, he’s had three before that after all, but it had nothing to do with being afraid of you. He was not in pain, at least not in pain that wasn’t pleasurable, and most importantly, you still did _not_ hurt him.”

“But why didn’t he come back to us? Maybe he didn’t want to Jimmy,” Cas rasped, his voice starting to get hoarse.

“That’s bullshit, Cas, and you know it. You should know better than me about this stuff. It was subspace and no coma. Imagine being in a scene for almost three hours with constant stimulation and enduring five orgasms, Cas. He probably went in so deep because it was more taxing and the outcome more explosive,” he tried to reason, staying as calm as possible with the hope to rub off some of it on his twin.

Shaking his head, Cas mumbled, “I tried to call him the entire time but he doesn’t pick up and he doesn’t answer any of my text messages…” When Cas looked up at him, Jimmy’s heart broke a little because he had never seen his brother that devastated and small. He’d always been strong and confident in his own way, always been the one to keep his cool and handle situations. But now tears were leaking from his eyes and his lip quivered as he said, “I ruined it, Jimmy. Dean doesn’t want to talk to me because I scared him away. He’ll leave…” his voice broke and he started crying. “He’ll leave, Jimmy. I chased away the most important person in our lives, it’s all my fault…”

Tears dropped down and landed on the cover beneath them as sobs wrecked Cas’ body and Jimmy watched, heartbroken, as his twin buried his face in his hands and made sounds of agony. He slid further onto the mattress and wrapped his arms around Castiel, pressing his side into his chest and trying to calm him down. Jimmy had no idea what he was supposed to say to make Cas feel better and he didn’t know what went wrong to make Cas think like that. Dean would never leave them, not like this, and he tried to tell Castiel us much and convince him of the opposite, but the more he talked, the more desperate and harsher came Cas’ sobs, so he decided to stop and just tried to soothe him with his hands stroking down his back.

When Cas didn’t seem to calm down, though, and Jimmy worried he’d start hyperventilating soon, he pulled out his phone once more and sent Dean a message asking if he could come home because something was up with Cas and telling him that it was urgent. And so Jimmy just had to pass the time by stroking Cas’ back, hoping Dean would read the message soon and trying to be mental support for him while waiting for Dean to arrive.

And thank God, he heard the door open not ten minutes after he sent the text and a relieved sigh left his lips as he told Cas that he was bringing their boyfriend upstairs and left the room to hurry down to where Dean was just closing the door.

“Dean,” Jimmy said, breathless, and looked at Dean worriedly as the blonde turned around and searched the place for Cas.

Meeting his eyes with big and concerned ones, Dean asked, “Where is he, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, taking Dean’s hand and tugging him upstairs. “I came home to find him all sad and worried and he’s convinced that you’ll leave us. He’s been crying the whole time and I don’t know what to do.”

Dean’s expression got even more worried and he skipped the last three steps of the stairs to walk directly into the bedroom. He stopped in front of Cas and when Jimmy entered the room as well, Dean was already crouched in front of Castiel and lacing his fingers with his own, soothing him.

Resting his forehead against Cas’ in an intimate way, Dean said, “Hey, shhhh… what happened Cas?” He was still crying and deliberately not looking into Dean’s eyes, and Jimmy watched as Dean took their entwined hands to place Castiel’s on each of his hips, using his now free hands to cup Castiel’s face and tilt it up to make him meet his eyes. “Cas, please. Remember when we set the rules? Talking to each other was one of the most important ones. So please communicate and tell me what’s wrong.”

His voice was soft and loving and Cas leaned into the touch of his hands and closed his eyes, pressing tears out of them. “I don’t want to lose you, Dean…”

That made Dean halt and he blinked a few times before saying, “I’m not leaving Cas. Why would you think you’d lose me? What is this about?”

Castiel’s shoulders shook slightly with his sobs when he said, “You were gone for so long last night. I thought you wouldn’t come back. And you didn’t answer my calls and I… and I thought you were going to leave us, that you’re afraid of me because I h-hurt you…”

“Shhhh, Cas. You’re not making any sense.” Dean searched for Cas’ eyes with his deep green ones.

“Don’t leave. Please, I’ll make it up to you. I won’t ever hurt you again, Dean, I love you, please don’t leave…”

Adjusting the grip around Castiel’s face, Dean made sure to capture his gaze again and set his voice as he assured, “I’m not going to leave, Cas. Listen to me. You didn’t hurt me, you didn’t scare me, and if you want to know why I flinched back from your touch by mistake, we can talk about it. But this morning, you told me that you didn’t want to talk about it which was clearly a lie and now look at you.” Another sob left Cas’ mouth. “You’re dropping because you kept your worries to yourself. But they’re not required, Cas. I’m fine, and I loved last night. I didn’t answer my freaking phone because I keep it on the workbench far away from me and I can’t hear it with all the stuff going on. When I checked on it, though, and saw the missed calls and the message from Jimmy, I came as fast as I could because I care about you and I love you.”

For a moment, Cas just stared at Dean before he diverted his eyes and mumbled a weak, “But I broke your trust, I hurt you.”

Standing up, Dean let out a frustrated sigh, Castiel’s hands dropping from his hips and falling to the mattress with a _thump_. He looked up at Dean with sad eyes and the blonde said, “Okay, you know what, I’ve tried it your way. I see talking it out isn’t gonna work here so I’m doing it my way.”

That was the only warning they got before Dean unzipped his pants and tugged them down his legs along with his underwear, pulling them off once he got out of his shoes. He pulled off his socks and rid himself of his jacket and shirt until he was stripped down entirely and standing naked in front of Cas, who stared at him with wide and confused eyes, still sniffling. And when he walked towards Cas and grabbed his hand, Jimmy was convinced they’d have sex now for a short moment, but Dean made him get up and off the bed and then took him into the bathroom instead.

Perplexed, Jimmy followed them into the room and watched Dean fill the tub with water before turning back to Castiel and starting to lift the shirt off above his head. He stripped Cas down completely as well and turned off the faucet when he thought the tub was filled enough, and Cas and Jimmy could only stare at Dean.

Castiel was calmed down enough that the only sound leaving him was the occasional snivel as Dean took his hand and guided him into the bathtub, placing him so that they were facing each other when he lowered himself into the water as well, Jimmy sitting down on the edge of the tub to watch them silently.

“I declare this our safe place now and I want you to listen closely,” Dean said, taking off his collar and carefully letting it drop down to the floor beside the tub. Then he grasped Cas’ hands from where they rested between his legs and pulled them up, wrapping them around his now bare neck and covering them with his own. He squeezed them tightly to show Cas he wasn’t wearing the collar anymore and said, “Right now, I’m not your Sub. I want you to know that you’re talking to Dean so I took the collar off, okay? This is to show you what I, as Dean, think and not your submissive.” Castiel nodded, his eyes focused on Dean’s and breathing slow. “I don’t feel obligated to you, I’m not under your control, and I’m not saying this to be a good Sub for you or ‘cause I think I have to say that stuff to not get punished.”

He paused to make sure Cas understood and went on after a beat, “I trust you and Jimmy more than I do anyone. You two are the only ones who get to see me like this and have me this way. You’re the only ones I’d ever permit to do the things to me you did last night – not because I feel like I have to let you do those things, but because I love you both and you know exactly what makes me feel good and safe and loved and cared for. You know what frees me and what I need, and you always give that to me, Cas. You always give me so fucking much, just like last night.

“You gave me pleasure like no one else before, ‘cause I can assure you that no one ever managed to make me feel so good, that I came four times in a row. And yeah, it was taxing and it took a very long time. And yes, I said ‘yellow’ to get another break, which I did, because you’re a good and loving and caring Dom. I flinched back because my fucking mind threw me back to that one time I said yellow to Michael and he slapped me across the face for it. It wasn’t because I was scared of you or your reaction. I know that you would never hurt me and I realized that in less than a second after my reaction. Do you understand?”

Cas nodded once, blinking a few times, and Dean uncurled their hands from around his neck to lace his fingers with Castiel’s again and stroked his knuckles with his thumbs. “I know I cried, Cas, for an entirely different reason, though. I enjoyed myself but I was fucking frustrated that every new orgasm took longer to reach. Especially the last one. I was so convinced that I couldn’t come again even though I wanted to. And I really wanted to, Cas, for you and myself because I loved being double penetrated. But it just didn’t come and I got tired and started to feel bad for making you have to keep going this long but when it finally hit, it was one of the most intense and explosive and overwhelming orgasms I’ve ever had and it was so much, too much, that it knocked me right out.

“You have to know that I’ve been slipping off into subspace throughout the scene since the beginning and when I finally let myself float completely, I was filled with so much bliss and euphoria and I was so deep in, that I couldn’t bring my tired ass to pull back out when you wanted me to. And while you probably worried yourself sick about it, I was having the time of my life and soaking up the feeling of total bliss and peace.”

Squeezing Cas’ hands in his own, Dean said with a soft voice, “So you see, I’m not hurt, I’m not scared of you, nothing was wrong with me. You did _not_ cross my limits and it also wasn’t too much for me, so don’t start making up new excuses to call yourself a bad Dom ‘cause you’re not. And you have no reason at all to beat yourself up over something that isn’t even real, Cas. You dropped, that’s it. Sure, my ass is still hurting like a bitch but I knew what I was getting into and as exhausted as I felt last night, it had been freaking incredible. Quite possibly the best sex of my life. And I’m sure the extra swagger I put to my bow-legs now doesn’t turn you off the slightest.”

Jimmy smiled and Cas’ lips twitched as well as another snivel chimed through the room. “You know, I still feel it when I walk, felt it during work every time I had to bent down, and I love it because it made me think about the amazing scene you two shared with me last night and I’d never want to miss this experience, so stop. Stop drowning yourself in self-hatred and stop worrying about me. I didn’t safeword and I didn’t need to. If it would’ve been too much for me to handle, I would’ve used it. But Cas, I didn’t. _I didn’t._ I trust you both with my life but you have to trust me and my judgment, too, Cas. Unless this isn’t gonna work.”

Something close to a whine left Cas’ throat at that and he hurried to assure, “I want it to work…” Jimmy could hear the panic in his voice. 

Dean smiled softly and pressed a kiss to Castiel’s knuckles. “Then put the collar back around my neck and show me.” Castiel shot up and out of the water like a mad man, surprising both Dean and Jimmy, and Dean chuckled, placing his hands on Cas’ arms to stop him. “But not before you assure me that you’re fine and this topic is over with now.”

“I’m sorry I was such a mess,” Cas started, voice rough and low, “I let my thoughts and worries get the better of me and I didn’t get any sleep tonight because I was so worried… they filled me with guilt and unease, and I’m sorry that I didn’t come to you in the first place. I should have, and I’m sorry. But I understand now, and I know that you’re right and that everything is okay. I can assure you that I won’t think you’ll leave us behind again.”

“So you’re all good now?” Dean asked, reaching his hand out over the edge of the tub and searching for the collar until his fingers touched it.

Nodding, Cas confirmed, “I’m all good.”

So, Dean grabbed the leather and handed it to Cas with a small and soft grin and closed his eyes when his Dom secured it around his neck again, making sure it didn’t sit too tight. After that, Castiel grasped Dean’s face and pressed their lips together in a passionate kiss and Jimmy watched in awe as his twin started to grin and chuckle again.

Dean was a freaking miracle.

Swiping his tongue against Dean’s made every hair on his body stand up in delight and he felt a shiver running down his spine pleasantly as he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against his lover’s while trying to catch his breath.

He shifted slightly, sliding closer to Dean in the water and reveling in the feel of Dean’s legs wrapped around his waist. Then a thought hit him and he smiled, stroking Dean’s chest and tracing the lines of the tattoo there. “Dean?”

“Hm?” Dean hummed, closing his eyes and letting out a small breath as Cas leaned in to nose along his cheek.

Grinning, Cas mused, “You came five times, though.”

Next to them, Jimmy snorted a laugh and Dean pulled back his head to look at Cas with wide eyes. “What?”

“You really did, Dean,” Jimmy said, smiling brightly.

“I didn’t know,” he whispered, and Jimmy watched his eyelashes move as Dean met Cas’ eyes and held the gaze. “Must’ve been too far gone by then.”

A moment of silence passed, then, “Thank you, Dean.” When Dean tilted his head like Castiel always did when confused, which was pretty adorable, Cas added, “For helping me with my drop. And Jimmy, thank you, too.”

He met his twin’s eyes and Jimmy nodded with a genuine smile. “Any time.”

Suddenly, there was a hand in Jimmy’s back pocket and Cas watched as his twin had half a second to realize Dean was taking his phone, before he dropped it to the floor and grabbed a fistful of Jimmy’s tee, yanking him into the tub with a wicked smirk. Jimmy yelped but landed without hurting himself or someone else, though the water did slosh loudly and tipped over the edge, splashing on the tiles around the tub. His clothes were soaked immediately but he didn’t seem to care when Dean pressed his naked body against his, laughing beautifully, and leaned in to kiss him passionately.

When they parted to breathe again, Cas grasped Dean’s face in his hands and pressed his lips to his lover’s, smiling so brightly, that a french kiss wasn’t possible, and mumbled, “God, I’m so utterly in love with you.”

“Me too, I love you both so much.”

Jimmy’s hands sought out Dean’s sides and he brushed his fingers across the skin above his ribs as he said, “Love you, too,” and smiled happily.

It was as if Cas’ worries and panic had been days ago, totally forgotten about, as Dean laughed breathlessly and Jimmy chuckled, making Cas grin softly. As if Dean had put a spell on them and nothing could ever make them break as long as they had this beautiful and radiant man in their arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: sex toys, dildos, “marathon sex”, multiple orgasms, double penetration (with dildo), past double penetration with two Doms (only mentioned), dirty talk, creampie, Dom/top drop, angst


End file.
